THE ONLY WAY.
CHAITKIt VIII. (Continued)
"It la southing to so lmcrfeet a fellow
s tuyself to flud out a Utile weakness a
tinge of vanity in such in admirable 'liu
mnn" you are! I don't doubt that
Winton, like many another, would have
fallen to your spear; but, you see, be was
Mm. L'Eslrauge's lover In bygone age
when they were boy aud girl. and fer
I know all about It. I fancy Winton
when he first came home from India, win
not too auxioua to take Helen Landedl
back with him. I remember her, a aad
eyed. timid creature, under the thumb
I should say thumb-screw of old Miss
Webster. She waa a aoft, taking little
thing then, ahe ia a very charming woman
now, and Winton la well off. It would be
a comfortable settlement for her and her
little girl, for they are, I thiuk, quite de
jtendent on you."
At the end of tills long spee-h, during
which Msrsdeu watched bis companion's
face, Nora was quite prepared to reply.
"If they are fond of each other, 1 aliall
be very pleased. Helen baa been a real
mother to me. and I like Mr. Winton im
mensely. You don't know what a hard
life Il.-len has had. If Mr. Winton will
be kind and make her happy and now
you have opened my eyes, I think he la
fond of her-I ahall be glad. Hut, aa to
her dependence on me, if I die before I
am twenty-one, of course all I possess will
go to Heat rice, and aa mm aa ever 1 am
of age I will settle half my fortune on
Helen, to go to Bea after her."
"Hut, Nora! you must not Imj quixotic;
make some provision for your father's
widow, but not half of your fortune."
cried Marsdeu, looking at her with sur
prise. "Oh: If Helen is married, well, I shall
make, the settlement on Bea only. I have
always considered it an oversight on my
father's part not providing for her, an
oversi ght I am bound to make good."
Her tone was perfectly easy and nat
ural; nor did it express the slightest con
sciousness of doing more than a simple act
of justice.
Marsden walked on In silence for a few
paces.
'iii nre rlirht. I think." said he. "It
! a horrid nuisance to know that people
belonging to you want for anything; but,
at the aame time, you are acting with un
usual liberality. When shall you be of
age? if 1 dare ask such a question."
"The fifteenth of February next, I
shall be twenty-oue."
"And supxse you marry some stingy
fellow before that date?"
Nora laughed merrily.
"I do not fancy 1 shall run away with
any one betweeu this and February, and
if I marry soticrly, conventionally, the
lawyers can devise the meana of carrying
out my wishes, or, if the suitor likes my
poor little money better than myself, why,
be may go." she waved her hand with an
expressive gesture.
"I wonder what sort of a woman you
will develop into, Nora?" said Marsden,
his eyes fixed upon hers aa If brooding
over some somber thought.
"Am I not developed already, squire?"
"You have heaps to learn! for one
thing, your own power! but why do you
go back to the patriarchal appellation?
Promise to call me Clifford, always Clif
ford." "I will try," returned Nora, smiling.
"Now, Clifford, here we are at the bridge,
and before we part, promise me first to
consider all I have aaid a profound secret
between us two; next not to tease Helen
about Mr. Winton; she is a shy creature,
and I do not think he has absolutely pro
posed for her yet, bo it would annoy her
dreadfully if you said anything on the
Slllljert."
"Trust me, I shall be most discreet! Hut,
Nora, suppose this marriage takes place
and they will go to India. What shnil
you do?"
"Stny behind and educate Hea, or mar
ry that stingy uiau you seem to have
found for me."
"Will you promise tomarry the man
I shrill lind for yon?" crjd MSffsden eager
ly. r 1
"Yes! If be Is pleaiiant sndl handsome,
and rich, and accomillished, and ready to
love, honor and obey1 uir," retnaned Nora
with mock solemnity "It wluytake you
a long time to flud sincn f raralitvl; un
dertake nothing rtaJly,'1' 't'-bye."
"Are vou going's dfUv- W'f, What
have I done?" d,,, Jjf
"lieletl IS out ail
busy; but if you
i iui us ai
seven, we will not om
ed mutton."
"Thanks, many tb
l)M7at scores-
If
It Is," looking
at his watch, "three
sent myself at half
WM. May I pre-
17"
"Yes, certainly; Hel
HI 111 be delighted
Clr." bead with an
to see you." 8he bei
arch smile and, tun
away, walked
nuickly toward tb cotMzv.
Marsden leaned his su.s on the para
pet of the bridge and loAd after ber so
long as she was In sight, then he pursued
his way home in profound thought
Nora went quietly to kr own room, to
cogitate the wonderful Information Im
parted by Marsden.
She was glad, very tfsA not only for
Helen, but for herself. This knowledge
would fortify her to reaUt her own folly,
to uproot the ridiculous fancy which had
mastered ber. The man who was to be
Helen's husband ought to be, could be,
nothing to her. Her cie was certain.
But, oh! what a weak iAceited fool she
hud been, to take for gianted that she
herself, and she only, wag the attraction
that drew Winton so constantly to Brook
dale, to be so blind to tW gentle charm
of her step -mother's looks and voles and
manner, Hhe aaw It ill now. Mow
quietly tender Winton always was In
speaking to Helen, and ow much more
notice be took of her ksn of her step
daughter. Yet across this conviction
would shoot pmxling gleams of memory,
recalling significant looks and words
which might have been Interpreted as In
dicative of a strong liking for herself;
this no doubt waa but the exaggeration of
ber own vain unhealthy Imagination. How
she thanked hesven that none could read
kef thoughts. flh waa tolerably aaf. no
me saie Mr. Huthven bad ever hinted
at any rfsH:.ble tenderness littween herself
and Winton, and that suspicion would
soon be dispelled by the auuouncvmeut
of hia engagement to Mrs. L'Estrange.
At any rate, for the moment, Nora
thought herself quite cured. Khe made
some changes in her dress and rearranged
her hair so aa to be ready for the evening.
Then atie descended to the drawing room,
and set herself diligently to answer gome
long-neglected letters.
Before she had finished Mrs. L'Eatrange
returned, and there were parcels to be
ojiened, purchases to be looked at and
put away, and Ilea's report of all she
had seen and heard to be listened to.
Mrs. L'Estrange was surprised and
pleased to hear that Marsden was to be
their guest. He was a great favorite with
her, and showed her much kindly consid
eration. On this evening ha conversed chiefly
with her, but she waa too observant, too
warmly interested iu her step-daughter,
not to perceive that he was aware of
Nora's every movement, even her slight
eat gesture. Khe had already suspected
that the lord of ICvesleigb had lust his
heart to his young kinswoman, and ahe
was not a little puzzled by Nora's evi
dent uuconsclouauesa. Khe bad very lit
tle Idea, however, of the overpowering
Intensity of the passion Nora had Inspired
From motives, which need nut nuw be
revealed, Maradeu masked bis batteries
cleverly; until the right moment came to
open tire, he was merely a pleasant, play
ful, admiring relative. To-night, how
ever, she was struck by some slight
though distinct Indications which escaped
hia reaolute self-control.
Mars. leu had never denied himself any
thing, nor thought any price too high for
the pleasure of the moment. He had had
e-dless love nffuirs, but none of any depth,
and when he met his young cousin, he waa
unaccountably fascinated by her. Her
delicate freshness, her simplicity and
shrewdness, her quick spirit and keen
aulf-respect, her momenta of softness
suggestive of delicious Kissibilities, of re
sponsive tenderness, which wits not to he
lightly won, made, to him, an irresistible
combination.
Clifford Marsden a as a man of Infinite
taste; taste so true, that it all but made
him enamored of goodness, If only for its
harmony. Alas! what a chasm that "but"
covered! He could be generous, too,
though he was quite capable of sacrificing
all and everything to gratification of self,
yet, at times, that self took an amiable
form. At present he was determined
Nora IF.strange should be his w ife. Khe
was the first woman he had ever wished
to ninrry, and nothing ahould aland t
tween him and the accomplishment of his
wishes.
In such n passion there is a tinge of
cruelty. Maradeu would rather kill her
with hia own hand, than give her up to
another.
Meantime, the wild animal within him
slumbered in the sunshine of its own
hopes. Marajlen talked well, Nora, who
had more color than usual, was charming
ly bright. Winton was never mentioned,
and all went merrily.
CHAPTER IX.
The last week of October saw nearly
all the personages In this true history as
sembled In town.
Nora L'Estrange was almost ashamed
of tie eager pleasure with which she hail
ed their removal to London. The change
of scene, the various objects of interest,
the different occupations of town, con
trasted with those of the country, roused
and diverted her.
Beatrice and her attendant fraulein
were left with Winton's aunt, Mrs. Ath
erley. who had invited them to atay with
her In ildbridgu, In order that the young
lady might have music lessons from the
organist of the cathedral, and be preserv
ed from the disorganization of life In a
Ixmdon lodging, where she waa to join
her mother before Christinas.
Winton, as was expected, soon made hia
appearance, and then Marsden; both be
stowing a good deal of their spare time on
the ladies of Brookdale. So the days went
speedily and pleasantly.with the help of
galleries and concerts by day, ami thea
ters in the evening. Nora fluttered herself
that by the careful cultivation of more
frank friendliness of manner toward Win
toii, she was killing out warmer feelings
in her heart, and at any rain successfully
masking the true state of affairs in that
weak citadel.
Mrs. Huthven, however, put In a claim
for a good deal of her trustee's time and
attention. She also found it expedient to
take up her abode in the capital. The
isilice gave her little hope of recovering
her lost property, but the preliminaries
of her new purchases made her presence
requisite.
"Have you seen Miss L'Estrange?" ask
ed Mrs. Huthven, one luomiug when Shir
ley had been admitted before luncheon.
"No, I thought ot cAlilng, but did not
see what business I had to do so."
"I wish you would. Why should you
not?"
"I do not know. Mrs. L'Estrange Is
rather stand off.
"Pooh!" shs returned with an expres
sion of contempt "Mrs. L'Estrange It
nobody! They called here yesterday, but
I was out Shirley, 1 wish you would
make love to Nora! It would not be a
bad marriage for yoJ, and you need not
marry her If you do Lot like.
"What Is the real reason of your re
gard for my Interests?"
"I want to see you cut out Winton."
"I do not think there is anything to In
terfere with In that direction. The run
ning at present Is all on Marsden's side."
Mrs. Kiithven stooped to pick up her
pocket handkerchief before she replied
"Well, cut Marsden out. Why should you
not? You have been something of a far
orite with women, more experienced worn
en than Nora L'Estrange, before this."
"I am flattered," said Shirley with
self-satisfied smile. "Still I Imagine'
"Oh! 1 would give anything to see you
safely married to Nora L'Eatrange," she
Interrupted, clasping her bands together
with fervent air. "What a denouement
the whole thing would be!" and sha laugh
ed a cruel, mocking laugh.
"What wliole thing?" asked Shirley,
with an angry look.
"M good friend, I am thinking of com
plications which da aart enter rour mind.'
"I !' not t how tite) car. wh' i) in.
in ilJ'ilHIH e
Here Mrs. Hut hie:
with a note, u hb si
courier -ll!'''t
took aii'l glauc.
at.
I-t hiiu came up." she said, and s .1 n
moment in sil.-m e. t .v;m:i:' it witu n r
auiitll minted tinker.
"Am 1 in the way?" ai-ked Shirley, wilu
some stllloess.
No! no! you can stay," aaid Mrs.
Huthven. careh ssly. and as she spoke the
detective, Wuite. waa shown iu.
"So! you are bac k again V" she said.
'Haieyou anything fresh V"
"Something, i " he hesitated and
glanced at Shirley.
"Oh, you may sieuk. This gentleman, j
Captain Shirley," with a slight emphas.s
on the name, "was, you rememl-r, at the
ball when I was robbed, and knows all
about it."
Waite bowed gravely.
"I have juat come from Brussels," he
aaid. "A reisirt 1 heard at. no matter
where, induced ine to viait a men-bant
there, who, it waa said, had some fine
rubies fur sale. They were certainly
very fine, and were, I find, bought from
a respectable looking young man, of small
stature and very dark complexion, who
said he was a native of India. He spoke
French very Imperfectly. He had, he
id, inherited the stones from an uncle.
He Btated he was a native of I'ondi
cherry and had offered the gems in I'aris,
but could not get bis price. This sur
prised the Jeweler, aa he asked leas than
their value, which the purchaser, Vau
deraluya, Hue de la Montague, gave him.
After much trouble, I traced this uiau
back to Osteml, and ascertained that a
passenger answering to bis description
embarked on Isiard the Dover ateambout
about three weeks ago, and there 1 lost
all trace!"
"Hut you must find It again," exclaimed
Mrs. Huthven, who had listened Intently.
"You know the reward I offered for the
jewela themselves. I will double it if
you enable me to punish the robber! Do
you not think I am right?" she added with
audden startling vehemence to Shirley,
who hesitated an iusliiut and theu re
plied: "Certainly, Mrs. Huthven, certainly.
Such a miscreant deserves no mercy."
"From I'oiidiiherry, did be suy? i
he give any name?"
"No! I fancy the jeweler was too glud
to get such a bargain, to make many in
quiries." "You do not intend to give up?" cried
Mrs. Huthven, eagery.
"Certainly not, mudaiue. These are the
first tracks." He paused and gave
quick, questioning glance at Mrs. Huth
ven, who slightly bent her head. ies.
he went on, "the first trac ks 1 have hit on,
and I am determined not to give up till I
have done all man can do to find the ras
cal and his accomplices, if he has any."
"I should imagine he had," said Shir
ley, who had risen, and going over to the
fire, stirred it into a blaze. "A uiuii
would hardly attempt so bold a stroke
single-handed."
"It would be a good deal safer alone."
"Then what do yon propose to do next'.'"
"I have not yet quite decided, sir," re
plied the detective dryly. "Moreover, I
never speak of my plans. As there is no
time to lie lost in trying to find the trail,
I shall wish you good morning, miidame,
and keep you Informed of my move
ments." "A shrewd fellow," said Shirley, "but I
fear his chances are but scanty of truck
ing this durky."
'lie will do it yet, returned Mrs. Huth
ven, with gloomy convjetion, and fell into
such persistent silence that, fiiding it
impossible to rouse her, Shirley, himself
irritated and uneasy, bid her good morn
ing.
The next afternoon Marsden, who had
been gratifying hia lawyer by detailing
the particulars of a successful speculation
he had made on the I'aris Bourse through
the guidance of a frieud, drove away to
Southwick street, having sent some flow
ers to keep Mrs. Huthven quiet.
Somewhat to his discomfiture for he
always suspected that Slnrley was more
or less a spy that gentleman was in the
act of leaving hia card as he went up the
Steps.
The ladies were out driving with Mr.
Winton," said the highly respectable ex-
butler, who opened the door.
When do you expect them in.', asked
Marsden.
"Can't auy, sir. Not till late, anyway.
Marsden then left his card, and, turn
ing, walked a few paces with Shirley.
( 1 o be continued.)
Manning the Armuda.
Don Uuixote, when he set out on his
expedition and forgot money and a
cliuuge of linen, was not In a state f
wilder exultation than embolic Europe
ut the sailing of the Armada. Every
noble family in Spain had sent one
or other of Its sons to light for Christ
and Our Ludy.
For three years the stream of prayer
had been ascending from church, cathe
dral, or oratory. The King had emp
tied his treasury. The hidalgo and the
tradesman bud offered their contribu
tions. The crusade against the Cres
cent Itself had not kindled a more In
tense or more sacred enthusiasm. All
pains were taken to make the expedl
tlon spiritually worthy of Its purpose.
No Impure thing, especially no Impure
woman, was to approach the yards or
ships. Swenrlng, quarreling, gam
bllng were prohibited under terrible
penalties.
The galleona were named after the
apostles and aainta, to whose charge
they were committed, and every sea
man and soldier confessed and com
municated on going ou board. The
ahlp boys at aunrlae were to sing their
Buenos Dlaa at the foot of the main
mast, aud their Ave Maria as the sun
sank Into the ocean. On the Imperial
banner were embroidered the figures
of Christ and His Mother, nnd as a
motto the haughty "Plus Ultra" of
Charles V. was replaced with the more
pious aspiration, "Exsiirge, Delia, et
rlndlca catisum tiiam." Froude, In
Longman' Magazine.
Animals are often able to bear very
protracted fasting. In the Italian earth
quakes of 1795 two hogs were burled at
Soriano In the rulas of a building. They
were taken out alive forty-two days
later, but very lean and weak. A dog,
at the same time and place, was burled
for twenty-three days afld recovered.
In the Bank of England sixty folio
volumes of ledgers are filled dally
with writing Id keening the accouut.
M
ORE than ordinary Interest at
taches to the last census bulle
tin, which deals with the occu-
natloua of the ix-onle of the United
States. The most noticeable fact is
the
continued descrtiou of the farms aud
the increase iu the working classes.
The ujost remaikable feature of this
city's growth in "gainful occupations"
la the enormous increase 25 per cent
In the number of women employed as
compared with the figures of lssu. Ac
cording to this bulletin no less than
48 percent, of all persons over 1') years
of age are now engaged in "gainful oc
cupations." The total of working peo
ple Is 2i7:,0il. or which 18.83).!."')
are males and 3.014.711 females. This
Is a gain of 1.2i57,5Tj4 women since lSSO,
or a rate of increase nearly three and
one-half times as great as the Increase
of workingmen. Trade aud transpor
tation have received the largest share
of these women. They have gone Into
offices and stores as clerks, bookkeep
ers, stenographers, cashiers, typewrit
ers and saleswomen. Into every place
where these million and a quarter of
feinlnlni' employes have gone they have
driven t t men and have worked for
smaller ages, even in proportion to
the aim it of labor done. Thus the
employe: has been the sole gainer, and
the com- unity, In so far as it has had
to suppoi Idle men In consequence, had
been the loser.
Industry and ambition are good traits
In women as they are In men, and no
one will deny the right of a woman to
enter the otflce or the work-room If she
prefers this to the kitchen, to the sew-lug-room,
or even to the parlor. But
it must be admitted that the present
phase of the transition which Is taking
place In women's occupations is pro
ductive of no apparent good to herself
ttr to the race. Where a dozen ambi
tious women force themselves Into trade
because tliev wish to, a hundred are
compelled In consequence to work
against their wills because of the dis
turbance produced In the salaries of
their fathers and brothers. It is a
pity the census bulletin could not tell
us how many of these new women are
In ti.nle from pure choice, and how
many from an unwonted necessity that
bus arisen In consequence of the dis
turbed economic conditions produced
br the rush of men toward the cities
nnd of women Into commercial pursuits.
The disturbance, however grevlous for
the time being. Is not one that calls for
legislation. It Is one of those things
that must solve Itself. In the meantime
It Is hard to tell which deserves the
most sympathy the tolling woman or
the Idle man whom she has thrown out
of employment nnd whom she Is In duty
bound to support
First Woman Ho Honored.
Upon Miss Helen Varick Boa well, of
New York Is conferred the honor of
being the first woman chosen as a dele
gate to a national Republican League
convention. The gathering to which
she was elected took place In Cleveland
June 19.
Miss Bos well's political experience
began In 1KH.S, when she became asso
ciated In the work of the Republican
party with Mrs. J. Ellen Foster, the
MISS HF.LKX VABICK BOS WELL.
rresldont of the National Republican
Woman's Association. As her assistant
Miss Bos well has taken an active Inter
est iu politics and has been engaged In
work Intended to advance the cause iff
the Republican party anrjng the wom
en of New York and In Washington
D. C. In her personal appearance Miss
Boswell Is prepossessing. She Is small
but has sutllclent dignity to make her
a successful presiding -Jlflcer. She It
tactful and witty, and has a keen sense
of the ludicrous. Her age Is by no
means uncertain, either, for Miss Bos
well will not be 30 for some years to
come.
Chalk a Cleansing Agent.
French chalk, tooth chalk, chalk pen
cil any chalk Is an agent for cleans
ing In an endless variety of ways. Rub
It Into grease spots on dresses, wall
paper, anything; It may be rubbed Into
food spots, say molasses, with excel
lent effect. It disintegrates the dirt, so
that it can be scratched or rubbed out.
Even on wash dresses this easy rem
edy Is well worth applying. Not only
spots, but the hand-rubbed soiled parts
may sometimes be restored, or, at least,
Improved. Rub on the chalk and hang
the garment away over night, or for
days, to be brushed clean when used
again.
Objects to the Ulcjcle.
The Woman's Rescue League of Bos
ton Is out protesting against women
using the bicycle. They are prompted
to do this because 80 per cent, of the
women reclaimed the past year were
bicycle riders It la also stated since
the closing of the disreputable houses
In Boston the Inmates have taken ti
bicycle- riding to better ply their seduc
tive arts upon the weak-kneed. An ap
peal is made to the clergy of the I'uited
States for the suppression of bicycle
riding bv young girls because of the
tendency to encourage immorality. The
league further condemns the coming
mannish woman" as a creature en
tirely useless and an unnecessary evil
in this country, which should not be
tolerated or encouraged.
Was in an Indian Ficht.
Miss Katherlne Clemmous, whose en
gagement to Millionaire Howard Gould
was recently announced, has led a
highly interesting life. After the close
of the civil war, her father, Capt. Clem
mous, was sent to a frontier post, aud
with him went one his wife and two
baby daughters. Upon one excursion
thecaptalu took Katherlne, the younger
child, leaving the mother and the elder
daughter at the post Old Sitting Bull's
warriors surprised his command, butch
ered many of the men and entirely scat
tered the force. "Buffalo Bill" was the
chief of the United States scouts. Lead
ing a column over the Dead wood trail
he came upon the scene of massacre,
and from the wreck of an army ambu
lance was surprised to hear a child's
wail. The child was Katherlne Clem
mons. The scout cared for the little girl most
tenderly aud a short time later re
stored her to her mother. Mrs. Clem
mons went to California, settled In
Oakland, and after some years mar
ried .1. W. Dayan, then head of the
stationery department of the Southern
racilie. The girls were given all the
advantages that education and the best
society could furnish, and the elder
married Charles B. Overacker, a prom
inent orchardlst of Nlles.
The younger girl, who had been so
romantically thrown upon the protec
tion of the great frontiersman, dreamed
of success on the stage. She went to
London to seek Instruction In the best
schools there. "Buffalo Bill" was then
on the top wave of London popularity.
Katherlne Clemmons sought him and
not without avail, for he helped her
socially, procured the best instructors
for her, aud when she felt that she was
ready to attempt the achievement of
historic fame, backed her with his
money.
Believes in Clubs.
Mrs. Julia Ward Howe thinks that
one of the encouraging signs In wo
men's advancement during the past
twenty-five years Is the organization of
the women. "Before the war they had
no organization," she says. "The war
seemed somehow to bring them to
gether. This may have been due large
ly to the fact that it called out some
to help the wounded and sick In hos
pitals. At any rate, since that time the
organization of women has been grow
ing stronger. I am a great believer In
.women's clubs; when properly con
ducted they do a vast amount of good."
What Women Wear and Do.
Queen Victoria's Scotch Journeys cost
her about $25,000 a year for traveling
expenses.
The newest materials for costumes
are alpacas and bareges of the old
kind revived.
Wrappers of thin wash materials are
now coming In fgr the attention of the
fair shopper.
White wings are used with flowers on
hats of yellow, rough straw with me
dium wide, straight brims.
Hugh bows of colored taffeta ribbons
are often the only trimming on hats
which closely resemble the sailor In
shape..
Patent-leather shoes with black stock
ings aud tan shoes with stockings to
match are the reigning styles of the
season.
Full woman suffrage In South Aus
tralia Is an accomplished fact Queen
Victoria has signed the bill and It has
become a law.
New silk waists of Rob Roy plalded
taffeta silks are made with plaited
fronts, bias yoke backs, full elbow
sleeves and velvet stock collars.
Blouse waists of finely striped wash
ing silks, with turn-over collars of
lawn or white silk edged with lace, are
the coolest things possible and dainty
to look upon.
Miss Mary Cary Thomas has been
nominated for one of the alumni trus
tees of Cornell University. She is the
first woman to be so honored In any of
the great universities.
Black silk muslin and chiffon flow-!
ered In soft colors and large patterns
make lovely summer gowns for ma
trons. They are made np over Mack
rnffetA and require Tery little trimming.
MISS KATI1KRIXK fl.KMMOSS.
A Rim pie Lie Saved Him Iomeatt
I obsppineM.
His eye were heavy In expresslo
nd had delii-ate streaks of unrise pink
irouud the edges of the lids. He triad
to write, but threw the pen down U
said to a man at another desk:
"Say, do I look like a man who had
trouble In his homer"
"Well, I don't know about that Bat
you look as If you bad trouble."
"I don't want you to think for an la
stant that my wife Isn't a cheerful and
levoted woman. But I don't managsj
to come along through life as smilingly
as you do, and I want to get a few cob
fidential points from you."
"All right I'll be glad to tell yoa
anything I can."
"You never have to get up at 12 or 1
o'clock at night to see whether you'T
fastened the parlor windows as you
promised, do you?"
"Never."
"You don't have to get up again at 2
to see whether you left the cellar door
unfastened."
No."
'You don't have to go prowling out
In the front yard at 3 to see that you
haven't left the new lawn mower wher
somebody will steal it?"
'I haren't had that experience.
'And you don't have to get up again
at 4 to satisfy your wife that you dldat
let the dog out to get lost when you got
up the time before?"
"Such a thing never happens.'
"Well, what I want you to tell me, la
confidence if you wish it is how you
manage to avoid It?"
"Simplest method In the world."
"What is it?"
"I lie."
He Was a Game Man.
"Speakln' of game men," remarked ft
Westerner with frowssled whiskers,
"there was Sam Slug, )f Slugvllle, as
we called him, but it wasn't his nam,
that used to be City Marshal of our
town. He was on the shoot In a minute,
and when his gun went 'pop' something
was bound to come down.
"I remember one night he went Into
a saloon full of .tough citizens to mak
an arrest, and the gang was onto hlra.
He took his sixteen-shooter with hira,
but the crowd was so full that tBey
didn't seem to take that into the count,
and when Sam collared nls man the
row began.
"When it was all over the saloon was
cleaned out, and Sam and a number ot
his feller citizens occupied the floor,
and we fished Sam out and took him
to his boardln' house. He wasn't very
badly hurt, not near so bad as the oth
ers, and the next day, as I was Mayor
of the town. I went up to flee Sam."
" 'Sam,' says I, purty stiff, 'you klad
of overdone things that time.'
" 'How, Mr. Mayor?' says he.
" 'Why,' says I, 'shootln' so doggons
permlskus.'
" 'Did my man git away? says he.
" 'Oh, no,' says I, 'he's safe with ta
rest of 'em.'
" 'How many?' says he.
" 'Only fifteen,' says I, with a grin.
" 'Is that all?' says he, dlsapp'nted
like.
' 'Ain't that enough?' ays I; 'you
ought to be sorry.'
" 'I am,' says he, 'about one thing.'
" 'What'B that?' says I.
" 'About that cartridge I wasted, Mr.
Mayor,' says he. 'There was sixteen
shots in that gun and I'd like to know
which one of 'em didn't do Its duty.' "
These Wee Birdies.
Whittlesey Mere, In Huntingdonshire,
now drained, once produced the finest
ruffs and reeves, a delicacy of which.
Frince Talleyrand was extremely fond,
his regular allowance during the sea.
son being two a day. An amusing anec"
dote Is told of a young curate who had
come up to be examined for priest's or
ders, and was asked to dinner at Blsh
opthorpe by Archbishop Markham. Out
of modesty, he confined himself exclu
sively to the dish before him till one ot
the resident dignitaries observed hlra.
But It was too late; the ruffs and reeves
had vanished to a bird.
A similar tale has been told of an
other delicate morsel, the wheatear,
popularly designated "the English or
tolan." A Scotch officer was dining
with a certain Lord George Lennox,
then Commandant at Portsmouth, and
was placed near a dish of wheatears,
which was rapidly disappearing under
his repeated attentions to it. Lady
Louisa Lennox tried to divert his notice
to another dish, but "Na, na, ray leddy,"
was the reply; "these wee birdies will
do verra wee!." Chambers' Journal.
Surplus of Wine in Spain.
Spain's once Immensely profitable
wine Industry seems to be on the verge
of ruin. According to a speech deliver
ed by the great political economist and
Liberal statesman, Senor Moret, ex
Minister of Foreign Affairs, at Carl
nena recently, the annual export had
sunk from 11,000,000 hectolitres la
1891 to less than 4,000,000 In 1894.
Thirty-eight million heotllltres mors
are produced every year than can bs
consumed In the country, and unless
some new market Is opened the wine
growers of Spain will become bank
rupt Boiling Mud.
A lake of boiling mud two miles la
circumference exists In the Island ot
Java, near Solo. Masses of soft hot
mud continually rise aud fall, and hugs
mud-bubbles explode like balloons,
with reports like guns, at the rate ot
three a minute.
Mrs. Mrtgun I came across one ot
your old letters to-day. George, whers
you said that you would rather be to
endless torment with me than be la
bliss by yourself. Mr. Maguu Well,
such an exposed place. London Tld
Bits.
How tired people become of esca
other I
