TOPI CS OF THE TI M ES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER
ESTING ITEMS.
tmtm and Cr;tictom B:id t'poa thr
HKjvlass of thm Uij-UliWrtnl and
It Is a 'n'd day when the iceman
Wings a big iuuip.
It is possible to become bad UQder
the best of circumstances.
Some strikes are commendable: for
Instance, that strike of a b y choir in
ft Baltimore church.
Nothing renders the
row and so little as
toclal intercourse.
ruind so nar
ttie want of
UNK sporting authority says that
the two-minute horse is coming last
Iluw else could he come?
Rev. pARKHrRsr is out in a new
wmanj for the New Vork police to
afoice the laws. W hat! and go to
jail?
J Pan- will be obliged to whip
China piece by piece, but sue seems
eiermine.i that each piece is to re
ceive a sufficiently terri.ic drubbing.
A Londoner has invented a
"psveunwiUc state. " It is doubtful
ow-ever, whether one can get ahead
fester on it than he can on the old
fashiooed liquid '-skate."
"tHrfJar and his eldest sen are
-"ield to be crazy. As their ap;.ears no
' Particular reason for believing the
-UMT, the mat er is probably less
humu mn uiau ayycdis.
Tub Acme .Puncture -Proof Com-
tmny is one of the eew Chicago cor
rorations licensed 'by the Secretary of
5- If the name goes for anything
H certainly is not a "soap-bubble'
IVkHmtn
The French are engaged in a laud--able
and statesmanlike attempt to
' 'Meal M adagaecar. This is different
ktrB the effort of some hungry Mis
"otirl farmers to steal a treasure box.
-It is ou a larger scale.
' i
Tae latest mean thing said
bout It by brutal man is that
Tcry woman ought to be allowed to
rot twice in succession: once to ex
press her convictions and once after
.she bas changed her mind.
B5st)N is clamoring for a half-cent
Coin. The Transcript says: "Give
wa back the half-cent coin, and letus
earn our sorest needed lesson
wconomy. The half-cent was co ned
from 1792 to February, l5i. Why
it discontinued:'"
"'The Chinese General whose legs
'"enabled him to run away from the
eoe of sl-tiigbter and defeat fast
'fctKnigti to tetl the Ivmperor that he
-bad whipped the Japanese and get a
ai4) present for It could make a
Twrtnne In Ame.ica selling gold
Uklct
A TxAn focused the sun's rays
tipbn the head of a trierid so that the
lock, redolent of bay rum. burst Into
Baai-v Warm-haired people are pro-wel-Wally
tiMck-tcnrereil, and so
here is little surprise that the man
' wrtwte scalp now resembles a map of
the Minnesota forest tires, fails to
ee the joke.
Wmw&n article in the London
Times It appears that one of the
prime results of the recent English
liarr maneuvers was to demonst ate
that torpedo boats are almost useless
As before dis overlng this fact the
rulers of the Queen's navee built 13(1
torpedo-boats it may occur to the
British taxpayer that for f'.ritannia
V rule the waves is chiefly profitable
tj shipbuilders and government con
tractors. Gkiting mad not o: ly sours the
disposition, but also the bodily secre
tions, and reacts unfavorably on the
Mood and nervous system. A pecu
liar poison has lieen separated from
W found in the perspiration of angry
ejr frightened persons, and their sail
's ry fluid, if inoculated by a bite is
Qwgerous. Keep cool and clean, lest
"fow develop poisons that react as
web on yourself. A fit of passion
My he the immediate precursor of
m three-week? spell of inflammatory
rheumatism.
Aoain the familiar lines of school
V declamation leap to the lip.
"TJrjTjrj onn. come all. this rock shall
Cy trocn its Arm base as toon as L"
Gbrbett defies the whole outfit If
ctumpton can really bag the en
X3t key-welght and middle weight
tiMn io one wsek, and so measura
Cf reduce the noble army of sluggers,
MM uaile upon tbe courage and
limiM kit herculean undertaking,
jrjrt ad m Corbett'i vocation is there
f Hiwrlfclnf exhilarating in this bis
CtA Ml iMt etaileace to tbe world
""is very parasite is Infested
ic pa ! i
" Inratri ti UosuaOi again
. 1 1
by the Pi.s an tM-t'e. The farm
er' work fur its e t rpation mill le
abiy asstel by a green worm le-s
than an inch id lengih. which :e: cis
on the weed and drtro it Li'er
aliy millions of thee wimn are found
on a small aiea of tbe ground where
tbe thistle grows and tier exh.'iu t
its sap, when it withers, it is an
annual plant, g owing fom tbesecd,
so it does i,ot come u i iigaln from the
root next year. Wherever the seed
falls and a new plant sprouts in the
spring the worms will 1 present ti
attend to its case. Ti e worm is said
to attack no other vegetation.
S:nte the laws of nature have
come to be bette." understood we do
not hear so much about "nitsterious
dispensations of I'rov dence" as we
formerly did; but such terriric visita
tions as the recent tornado in Niiune
sota and Iowa seem to come in th.it
category if anythng does They are
calamities that fall without warning.
They can be neither predicted nor re
sisted. Their work s dope in a mo
ment and they are gone, while their
conduct Is so eccentric as to fo estail
any attempt to escape them. Like
death by 'Ightnlng, they are fatal to
only a small percentage of the total
population; but, as no one tan pro
vide aga nst be; ng included in that
percentage, they must I classed
among the inevitable risks of life in
the regions where they prevail
S'ime of the papers are chronicling
as a new an i wonderful surgical
operatlou the supplying of a nas:il
organ to a latient in ( baring ross
Hospital, London. The patient sacri
i ced one of his own angers, which
was half amputated and bound into
the required position, where t grew
so kindly that It was completely sev
ered from the hand about four weeks
al ter the first adhesion was effected.
But is this new.' Was not the so
called "Taliacotian operation" suc
cessfully performed fully nfly years
ago on tbe other side oi tbe Atlantic?
And did not that consist in making
a new nose out of a portion of tbe
patient's arm, which was partly sev
ered, so that the blood cou'd cir it
late freelv through the semi-detached
portion while it was gaming the de
sired adhesion to tbe face? If meti)
ory be not at fault these quest ons
may be answered in the affirmative.
The historic Appomattox Court
House Postoriice in Virginia has had
its name changed by the postal
autho Hies Tbe count seat was
removed to another village thiee
miles distant and carried tbe name
Appomattox Court House with lu
Hut this does not make any change
necessary in the name of the poty.
0!!ice except to drop the superfious
wo ds "Court House," which are no
longer Itting. The substitute name
selected for the postolice Is "Surrender."-
Ioubtets the man who
devised the name thought it an Im
provement. It Is really ambiguous,
for the word 'surrender" does not of
Itself tell who were vh t rious. "Ap
pomattox telis the whole slorv. It
is firmly stamped on the popular
mind, and as Abraham rLincoln said
of Gettysburg, -'the world will never
forget what was done there."
The death of Prof. David Swin
removes a conspicuous figure from the
intellectual, religious and social
world of ChiCTg'). lie was regarded
by many as easily the foremost
preacher in Chi' ao. and they showed
their devotion to him for years by
the most liberal her niary and per
sonal support. He had a national
reputation as a liberal th nker and
writer He was a representative fit
advanced theology: yet he had a
method of dreamv expression in wh eh
he clothid his beliefs that the tu t
too critical orthodox regarded as satis
factory, while it was accepted also
by the radicals. He was an effective
preacher of the gospel of grace, hu
iiuniiv charir.v and crood will. All
the infiuence of his teach.: gs .:-r!XMt.'?j; i
good He knew no sectarian lines (((. a (.oat (jr a pajr of 8h()ei An or.
nor exclusive creeds. His rclig on . cl i n a ry price is a box of percuss. on
was one ol universal hen 'volence and ' caps In other parts, a goat or a
tolera'ion: he respected every sincere couple of buckskins will buy a girL
faith and loved every honest
mind,
Probably much that is contained In
Pope's "Universal Prayer" came
nearer to his cm ession of faith, If
he bad onethan any ether arti les
of Lellef clothed in human language.
An Ominous Krror.
The Tar-ney family Is somewhat
noted In political life. There ate
three brothers, Adjutant General
Tarsney of Colorado, who was re
cently tarred and feathered. Con
gressman Tarsney of Missouri, and
Tim Tarsney, Jormerly a member
from Michigan. The story Is told of
Tim that when sent at one time to a blni Irom Africa on the hark Liberia,
Connecticut cltv lor a campaign I which moored at the Empire Stores,
spee h he was Introduced with ev n foot or Main Street, Brooklyn, yes
more than the usual flights of ora-l terday. was a number of monkeys of
tory. The chairman after dwelling' all shapes, sl.es and ages. The cap
upon his great deeds for the tain went ashore to report, and on
ntin .nH taiiimr how h, ! returning saw the monkeys be
name had become
a house
hold word throughout the land,
leaced over and whispered: "What
is your name, sir?" Upon receiving
the answer, be continued: "I now!
hare the most gratifying pleasure ol
introdu log to you Congressman
Larceny "
AN IMPORTANT RULING.
KanlurT Liable for laiunerg to Kaipluy
lajurl by Another a UrviNMirM.
Two trams on the hrie 1 a lioa I,
appioacijiiig each oilier from opi jo
sh owe. turns, were ooih greatly l
hinJ tin t, ana "t e running on
s; ecial orders from uiiou to
lia, -em lv ttie tram dispatcher at
Home Nvii.e A:oui as ih- day ,.li'
paitlie; was le.iviiig and ll;e night
dispatcher wa louiing on, Uih
t:ani wire wait ng at differeut la
lions fo oidi-rs. The nignt dis
puicber asiea the retir mj day dis
t au lier to gne tue orders, whii b was
(tone.
At a later hour the night dis
pat. her, ha. lug forgot u-n the older
beut l.y the dav dispatcher at his re
quest, d rei ti d one of the trains to
proceed lyond a station where it
was wa ting to meet the otner. The
or'b-r wasotjejed. acoltiMou resulted,
ana ihtt fireman was terribly hurt,
losing l.otn legs aud suffering other
m iuries.
Tae old doctrine of law Is that a
nia-ler is not responsible lor injuries
caused to a ser.ant through the neg
ligence .f a fellow servant. This is
still held to he the law where the
servantsare of e jual rank and neither
Is working under the oiders ot the
other. Ir six men are handl ng a
bar of la 1 oad Iron, and bv the care
lessness of one It falls and smashes
tbe fool ot another, tbe employer is
not liable.
But in several States it has been
held that where the employes are
not e (Ual lu rank, but one is work
ing under the orde s of another If
the Inferior employe is in ured
through tne negligence of tbe su
perior, tbe employer it liable. The
superior employe represents the em
ployer, and Dis act is the employer's
act. The boss of a gang of bands is
the "vice principal" of their coimnoo
employer, to use a technical term in
law.
In the Krie Kail road case the tram
dispatcher sent tlie order, signing
the division superintendent's oame
over Dis own Initials, according to
the usage of the company. He repie
sented the company, aud was the su
perior of tlie ti emaa who was in
jured. His act was tbe company's
act. :
This deels on derives additional ln-!
terest fioiu the fact that trie opinion
Was written by Judge tvuius W. l eek j
haw. who U regaraed justly as one of 1
the ablest and must enlightened jur- j
ists la the L nited States. He de
clared that the doctrine was not free
loin dl ,,tulty, especially in many
cases In determining whether one
employe Is sujerior in authority to ;
tbe other. Hut this lie regarded as j
mainly a matter of fact to be settled
by the jury. The p.inciple was cor- I
rect J
In sorue ten States of tbe Union
the highest courts have beld to this '
rule of law, and in one case it has j
been aftirmed by tbe Supreme Court
of tne United Manes. In the case of :
a claim for damages against a Wis-!
consin railroad company a locomotive i
engineer, having been Injured by fol- !
lowing the orders of the conductor of j
the train a suienor employe the
federal Sup erne ourt gave final !
judgment against the railroad com-,
piny.
In Illinois and other ' tales there
bate been repealed efforts to procure
legislation making employ rs liable
in all cases for damages in case of In
jury to employes caused by the negli
gence of co-employes, even If of equal
authority but It has been thought
that this was carrying the principle
too far. Of course, if it should I
emlxKlietl in a law it would apply to
all employers alike, individuals and
firms, as well as corporations.
The l'n or a Wife.
In the earliest times of purchase a
woman was barter d for useful goods
or for services rendered to her father.
In the lattor way Jacob purchased
Kac.hel and her sifter Leah. This
was a iieena marriage, where a man,
as in Genesis, leaves his father and
I hi m ther and cleaves unto his wife
'and they become one flesh or kin
j the woman'. The price of a bride In
I Iritish Columbia and Vancouver Is
J land varies from t'ZO to t-IO worth of
articles. In Oregon an Indian gives
' for a wile horses, blankets, or buffa
lo role ; In Californ.a shell money or
horses; In Africa, cattle A jxior
J)aruara will sell a daughter for one
cow a richer Ka r e pects from
three to thirty. With the lianyai, if
noth ng be given, her raml cliiiu
bur children. Iu Uganda, wbere no
i assing to Afia, we nnj ner pnee is
sometime, nve to nrtv rouptes, or at
others, a carload ef wood or hay. A
; princcM may 1 purchase for 3,001
roubles, in Tartary, a woman can
lie obtained for a few pounds of but
ter, or whe e a rich man gives twenty
small oxen a poor man may succeed
with a pig In KIJa, herequlva ent
is a whale' tooth or a nius eL
These. nrt siftjilar prices cl-cwhere,
are eloquent, tsstimocy to the little
value a sa age sets on bis wife.
Monkeys 'n the IllKKltiff.
Among other irsons and things
hich capL ilogeis brought with
thought safely secured below In boxes
up in tbe rigging, some grinning,
some laughing, but many of tbem
crying wiin own.
Tbey bad been locked up all night
" enough, out bad escaped through
mka pane, and there being no
tweoanut tree in sight, climbed up
the r aging and stays to take oh er
vat ion-. The i ilk-ran a so biou.'ht
snakf. pigeons, and boa constrictor
in large iiuml er-, and also many c it
ore 1 people the missionaries ha I in
duced ti go out ani sett e In Llt': la
ail b-.'lp hrisiunue It, hut whore
turnd io disgust, saving tbilthe
ioiniry.is no good. They bad to
work hard to support the converted
who insisted uisiti loaSng while as
for money, they never saw a red cent
in the co'o.eJ republ c. ew Vork
Advertiser.
Hi Kei'f iiirlu Passenger.
A gri-ly tory was related yesierday
by a gue-t at the Weddeli Mouse,
' who had jU-t retu tied fiooi a trij
across the ocean He wis (i. ('. K oil
ier of Akron, who has sient the last
months iu Knrope Mr. Kohler re
turued last week, reaching New Vor
by the Lloyd steamer Maasdam on
Saturday. "It was on the return
trio,' he said, " and among the pas
sengers was a man whose intellect
bad suffered impairment, and who
j was constantly watched:by an attend
aoL. It was tils cu-tom t s.l at
. table, during meal time, and gae at
the ceiling for long periods, occasion
ally taking a mouthful of fjod. The
last ioeal we took with him was
marked by a clrcuiu.-tance whl h was
far from being pleasant
The dinner was over and the
ladies bad left tbe tabl , a few gen
tlemen remaining to smoke and have
a good time together. Tbe strange
. passenger was at bis usual recreation,
evidently trying to look a hole in the
ceiling. The enjovment of the little
paity was long continued. The s ew
ard entered the room presently, and
after wailing it one side a short lime
asked us If we weie not ready to
leave tbe saloon, as we bad evidently
flu shed our dinner. One of the
party answered that so far as he
knew we were willing to remain at
the taole for some time yet 'V ery
well then,' said the steward, 'we will
do what we came In to do'
"He motioned to tbedoor, and sev
eral men came In with a mattress,
which was laid upon the lloor. What
did tbey do then hut take hold of our
frien I. h of the disturbed inletle t,
and lift him out of his chair ami lav
htm on the stretcher. They com
po ed his limbs and co ered his face
and carried mm out or the roosa,
while we stood speechless. Then we
discovered that he had died durlny
the meal, silting bolt upright in hi
rhair. and as it had been thought
that no one wouid notice the fact he
had not been disturbed until, the
room was nearly empty. We did not
continue o,ir jollity any longer that
day." Cleveland l eader.
Saw Ml Krror.
"I have just called, Miss Simpson,"'
said the angry lover, "to say fare
well, but lie: ore I say It 1 want you
to know that I have discovered vour
falseness and I despise ou for it."
Why, iillly, what Is the matter?"
"Ob, you know well enough. .May
be I didn't pass tbe gate last even
ing and ee you with your head on
anotber man's shoulder Wbo is the
unhappy man?"
'Hut. billy, I haven't seen any
man hut you, dearest: honest 1
haven't."
Wo, I suppose not. Then, maybe,
1 am blind, d-af and dumb, and an,
idiot Maybe you didn't have com
pany last evening?"
"No one, billy, but my best friend,
Emily. No, 1 didn't and 1 think you
are a wretch "
And ou didn'tstand at lliegale'"'
"Oh, yes, we did. We were count
ing the stars in the big dipper mak
ing wl-hes 'ja them "
".',h. yes. I suppose I was blind.
Now, maybe you'll describe Emily to
me?"
"Why, she had on her Knox hat,
her black blazer suit, a white shirt
waist, with a black satin tie, and a
white duck vest. You know Emily,
BHIV "
Hilly "Um-m: I see. "
And what might have been a mod
er.i tragedy was averted and Hilly
made up at once. Indianapolis : en
tinel. When a Trout In II tin (try.
A curious incident, showing that
trout will not be easily frightened
from a hook when they are hungry,
is fld by a Maine sportsman. lie
felt a good bite, but before he could
haul in tne nsn it Drone loose ana
Shot away. He readjusted his bait
and made another cast. In a minute
tbe hook was ayain taken, and he
pulled In a two ixjund trout. It was
booked in the side of the mouth,
while uion tbe other side a piece
more than an inch long had been
torn from the Jaw, and tlu wound
was (-till bleeding. This sh .wed con-!
clusively it was the tame fish that
had just taken the hook and b id got
away. 1 he oinguia. pi t was that a
fish so badly wounded should bite a
second time. Bangor News.
bight Wood.
Light wood is one of the mot use
ful Southern products, especially In
EPrida where it is used by all sorts!
of country folk, and particularly by '
the butiters. A cord wood stick car
ried .nto the wilderness will cut up
into fragments w th which a do. en
meals may be cooked. The rich,
resinous pine makes a quick hot fire,
especially suited to open air cocking.
A nkw scrubbing machine Is
whirled over the Hour like a lawn
mower. It soaps, wets, rubs, and
dries the l!oor, and two or three
movements of the machine make the
boards shine.
TiiKcaoltol at Washington, It is
said, has cost the country JO,U,U,oO(J
to build and keep In repair.
Is buying presents, give
something she can wear, and
girl
boy
something he can e t
A wicsTKKN man never thinks he
le doing we I unless be has an offset
to w?ary b 11 be owes
ALL ABOUT PENS.
Thej Mere Sat SaiK I IVrfwHua I'alU
Sharp poin el bodkins, nmde of
broue of bteel, or of non, were tbe
Drst p-ns. and they were u ed for
cutting out lctler and hicroglvphics
in the l.mestotie. sandsione or stea
tite of i.aslern countries. Six h i:.s
were also uttd fo wilting on A
Syrian tablets Ihe table's were
oi.ide of soft clay, and alter leceiv
lug inscri' tions were dr.ej in the sun
or bai,ed iu the lire,
Iu the far Last anJ iu fgy t the
can. el's hair pencil soon took the
j.'la e of the metal bodkin. With the
petieil letters were pa nted on the
s. ns of atiimjls aud the back of
trees In in ,cb the same manner that
the Chinese draw them on paper at
the pre-ent dav.
la Persia, Gree e, anil Syria, wax
and lead n tablets came into Use, and
the slylus became their popular pea
The stylus was made of bone, Ivory
or metal, with one end pointed and
the other t attened. The flatten d
end was Used to erase errors made in
writing.
The use of parchment and papyrus,
however, called for a m re tlex.ble
pen than either the bodkin or tbn
stylus, so reed pens were invented,
tor making these pens a peculiar
kind of reed was used, which was
shaped to a point, and split, similar
to the pens now in use.
Io A. U 5;i3 It was discovered that
quills made much better pens than
reeds. The t,uills of the goo.se, the
swan, and the crow were u.sed princi
pally, r-everal centuries later, when
writing paper was Introduced Into
r ngland. the uuill was still the fa
vorite writing Instrument However,
the quill pens Lad been greatly im
proved, and those from Uussia and
Holland were excellent.
in the earlr part of tne pres-nt
century there was adeiirm I for some
thing better and more if .ruble than
quit! pens. Accordingly a great
many experiments were made with
horn, gla-s, tortoise shell and finally
with steel, silver and gold. It was
soon !ound that eiis made of horn
and tortoise shell soften under the
action of the ink and were not so
good as i.uill pens. Nor were the
silver f vet very good. The were
too elastic and too easily worn at I be
points.
In io:i steel was tried In Wise's
"barrel" pews, but lieing txiorlyiuade
and very expensive, tbey were not a
success. At Klr.i.inghaiii, England,
in I "20, the- manufacture of steel
pens began in earnest. and they provert
to be excellent The first gross of
Meet poos sold to ltirmlnghan
brought t'M at wholesale.
They were srjoa manufactured is
great nu m tiers, and have been ge-t-tlng
better and cheaper all the time,
until now we oaa buy for a trifle the
best steel pen made. Europe has al
ways excelled' in the manufacture of
steel tiens. and Au.eri; m noted for
the manufacture ol gold pens Phil
adelphia Times,
BUTTED EACH OTHER.
Hbw Two NnrMl In MuTrry U7 Trim
to .-Mittlv T.-I'limr Ulnputi.
"One of the roost novel conflicts 1
ever saw between two be ligerents f
the human race,."' saW Milo Stafford,
of New Orleans, to a writer for the
St Lous GLole-lemocrat, 'took
place between two. negroes on my
plantation a few year before the war.
A dispute bad arisen between tbetu
over tbe pos-ession. ol an old pair of
trousers, and they were just on the
point t f beg.nning hostilities when I
arrived at a point where I could lake
In the scene without being observed
by them. 1 suppose most fieople wilt
call ll brutal, but i determined to
let them go abend aud pound one an
other for. a while, tb. liking the mat
ter might ,ust as well be settled be
tween them then an i there, as I
knew if I Interfered tbey wouid have
it out at some future lime, i was
not prepa ed, however, for the mo e
of warfare they selected. Immedi
ately they clasped their arms around
each other aud began butting their
heads together like a pair of sheep
That they were In dead earnest was
evinced by tbe terrible force of the
blows, which sounded as loud as a
well-exe'Utcd clap of the hauls.
There w.is no attempt at boxing. oniy
uuiimg. anu so eneciuauy was it per
formed that In a very short tune the
heads cf botb antagonists were cov.
eicd with blood. Alter continuing
the fight for aUiut t ve minutes b tb
broke away and sat down to rest ami
recover their breath preparatory to
j renewing the encounter, as neither
signified hi willingness to give up
Thinking that the affair had gone
far enough 1 stepped from where 1
had been concealed and demanded
that they patch up their dllleren es
' in a more eaceable way, and warned
them that if any renewal of hostill
ties occurred they would lie sum
marily dealt wth. This warn ng
had the desired effect an i halt an
hour later I saw them working side
by side, chatting with each other
c rdlally, as If their tecent light had
no place even In their memories."
An Arkanna Cuoiom.
It was on the Washita Itlver, in
Srinl.hArn Arkunujift- 1 hd li.n lolri
I here to stop to secure Information
' . I .. .... A l
UOOUIl a tCI bHIU lllCCB IO IllUU. A
.reached the place to find It a very
dilapidated log cabin, and In front of
it tat a long, lean man, who was so
jellow In the face that i at first took
him for a mulatto. He was stretch
ing and yawning as I role up, and he
apologized for not getting up bv say
ing: ''Scuse me, stranger, but It's about
time fur my chl.l "
"Much ague mound here?"
"HeaiscriL
"Do you live here all alone?"
"Itecgon not Tbe ole woman Is
In thar, but she's got a chill Sal it
my oldest, but she's chlllln', too.
iLube Is beyand tb mewl shed and
j he's -rot it lud tn-d .r. V' t'o
lanoi out 1-v Hi'' ug help, and .su. In
lui) be upon the riii. It sourclii I-
' iu' ua ai d evirijody has got to
cnill.' , ,
1 eiprestd in tnprh.- ani -gan
t a-k a'ter th land, but he
pel l up a shak n,' ni.gi-ranl i.d
-.stranger, d .n'1 know what lh
custom ,-. cKev liprp b it r gbt 'round
jo r- when ;i feil-r h.is a cnol he
make it his busmen t le ebiiiy ind
to 'ten I to notiiin' eie out sh iUn.
'Pee l. it's at. be kin 'lend l i sor f
to di-apuit yo'. hut from te.w to i
' (.'clock 1 -ha I hev my ha k agio Uil
cabin and t shaki ' ail the cbinkin'
out f otn at ween tbe io.'s. t otne
ba k arter ttut a id I'll aU to yo'.'
1 returned that evening and be
cheerfully gave me all des.red infor
mation, ami when 1 rode aw.iy be
called after me:
i "Mighty sorry to hev put yo' to so
mn h tiouble but we've got io folier
custom, yo' know, when we're a cii ll-
j In' but when the ch II goes of and
the fever com on, then w drap all
formalities and try to act naleral to
ever body. " i ree Tress.
The Dog and ihe Hreeoh.
In the Sportsman's Animal It Is re
corded that a sutfoik gentleman being
on an excursion with a friend, and
having a Newioundland dog also ac
lompanying him, the animal soon e
eaine lh subject of conversation,
when his master loi I his friend that
the dog would, upon receiving the
order, return and bring any a tide
left at y distance.
Tocootirm this assertion a marked
shilling was put unoer a larje rone
by the roadside hav lug been pre
viously shown t. the d ig. The two
fr ends thea rode for ibree miles,
when the dog rece'ved bw masters
signal to return for the shilling he
had seen put under the stone. Tlie
dog turned hack, and the gentlemen
reached home. but. to their surprie
and disappointment Ihe hliherto
faith ul messenger did not return
dur ng the dav.
It afterwuri appeared that he had
gone to the place whre tbe shilling
was deposited, but the stone being
toi laige for his strengeh to remove,
he ha i stayed howling at the place
till two horsemen. rhNng by. ami at
tracted by his seaming ds'res,
stopped to look at him when one of
them, alighting, removed the stone,
and seeing the shilling pui it into his
pocket, not at the time knowing it
to be the oh ect of the dog's xea-rch.
The dog followed their horses for
twenty miles, remained undistu led
lo the room where th y supped, fol
lowed tbe chambermaid Inio the bed
room, and secreted himself under one
of tbe beds
The possessor of the shilling hung
his breeches np by the herlMde: but
wben the travelers were lioth asleep
the do.' took the garn.eMt In his
mouth, an 1. leaping out of tbe win
dow, which was left open on account
of tbe sultry heal, reached tho bouse
of his Enactor at 4 o'clock- in the
morning with the prize he bud made
free with, and In the pockets of
which were found a wat h and
money, that were ret rned ujxin
being advertised, when the whole
mystery was unrave ed, to the ad
miration of them alb
The IWiy Hud Nerves.
Dr. McTavlsh of Edinburgh, wa
something of a veutrllloquist. and it
befell that be wanted a lad to assist
in the surgery who must necessarily
be of strong nerve
He receive I several applications,
and when telling a lad woal the
duties were. In order to. test his
nerves, he would say, while pointing
to a grinuing skeleton s.aiMling up
right in a corner:
"i a't of your work would be to
feed the shelclon there, and while
you are here you may as- wi ll try to.
do so."
A few lads would consent to atrial
and receive a basin of hot gruel and a
sloom. V h ilc they were pouring iho
hot mess Into tlie skill, tbe do tor
would throw hli voice so as to niiiko
it appear to pro. eed froti thti jaws of
the bony cust me:', and gurgle out:
J'r-r gr-uh, that's hot"'
This was too much, and without
exception the lads dropped the hasm
and liolled, says a wrlier lu Tid-lius.
The doctor b gan to. despair of ever
getting a suliahle helpmate until a
small boy came and was given tbe
gruel and spoon. After tbe first
spj nful tlie skeleton appeal ed to
say
"ilr-r r gr-uh. that's hot:" Shovel
ling in tbe scalding gruel us fast as
ever, the lad rapped thin skuil aud
Impatiently retorted:
"Well, blow it, caru't jer, yer
otild bony?"
The do. tor sat down in bis chair
aud fairly roared, hut when became,
to he engaged the lad on the spot
Serloux.
Pew things vet a physician uioro
than to be sent for in great ha le at
an unseasonable hour.only to find upon
arrival that little or nothing Is the
matter with the patient.
An eminent English surgeon was
called to an urgtntcas " ot this sort,
and found the pal lent, who was a
man of great wealth but small cour
age, had received a veiy slight wound
from a fall.
The surgeon's facis did not betray
bis Irritation, but be gave h s servant
orders to go home with all posslhle
haste, and return with a certain
piaster. Th(- patient, turning very
palu, said aox'misly:
' I trust, sir, there Is no great and
Immediate danger.-"
"Indeed there Is," answered the
sur. eon. "Why, f that fellow doesn't
run like a race-horse, there's no tell
ing but your wound will i eal lie fore
be geU haclf with tbe plaster!" .
Tub largest family In the world Is
that of the King or Slam. Ills ma
jesty has two official wives, eighty
eight wives of minor oruer and
seventv-two children.