TOPICS OF THE TIMES. A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER ESTING ITEMS. am Crtll-V" B una I poa ta M ri f taw Uay-MlxaHml Ir r'nesn't make a room any cooler to put a trie e ar und the walla TMk pleasing conviction still re mains that we can beat base ball h'ngland at A forel 'dv" advertise for work. W h pe she ii4 accusioniet to the management of 'taiesi.'eotIe:iien.'' Nodt denies the right of the bald -headed man to strike when the lies take bis crown for a tennis cout. A pest of lady-bugs 1 reported at an Eastern finale. The village be ing a summer resort, of course it has do gentleman buns. A Mi"i ki paper mentions that De Kalb County sent to the Legisla ture two men who could neither read nor wr te. It would have spoken tetter for the Pe I- alb Intelligence ir the pair bad been sent to night school. mmmmmmmmmmm Hkrr DowfN bullet-proof coat ban not itood the latent test it was suh iected to by the German military au thorities. If the inventor is still Ismii upon succenn, however, he should come to Chicagoand apply for a spec! men of a citv alderman' bullet proof and braen cheek. Bees are curious little an ruals. before storing honey In a tree, for , instance they will clean the tree of ! ail rotten wood and refuse. When j this ia done, they are ready for work: J but a bee never begins business until be is thoroughly ready to carry it on, and tben he never does it by halves. A New Zelasd chief has just ar rived from his native land with a pair of wives whom be is taking to j Utah, believing that there he can as sociate with both ladies on e ual terms. The miss-ona ies have evidently t Im flammed him. There Is no other section of the 1 nited States in which thf man with two wives gue t jail with quite the celerity that marks his career in tub, Til k. b hind hand farmer is at a disadvantage in every deal cannot j make his own terms, has no feeling j ot ndependence, can establish no ' business methods, cannot procure j help when needed, is bringing his ' cbl.dren up with lose principles. : Self de ial will cure this. Count on cash in hand, not '-money coming:" live upon home productions unt 1 the ' point is gained. A hundred in the I pocket is ten thousand times better j than a hundred in debt. " j The typewriter on the field of bat- ; tie is a curious Bight. It has not 1 quite reached that point vet, but it was to be seen at the recent Hritisn military tournament io the mimic ac tion. To.nruv Atkins, mounted on a cycle, whi h was surmounted by a' 1 emlngton, rone into the a ens, and typed the messages taken from the signalers, while a trained war dog carried the dispatches to the rear. Whether all this would do in real warfare leiua.os, of course, to be The frequent reference to the j "Midway" io the newspapers, peri- j odlcal. and the everyday speech of j the people proves that the unique ' thoroughfare on the Word's Fair (rounds took a wonderful bold upon the imagination of those who visited that most peculiar feature of the Far. Tho 'Mid way" has found en trance to church exhibitions to so elety festivals and oul lie amusements of various kinds, and Midway" seems to t ea word that lingers longer v on the lips of the people than any other term connected with the great Columbian festival of last year. It is not generally known that every crowned head in Europe, except the Sultan, is descended from two sisters, who were born only about 150 years ago the daughters of Duke Ludwlg liodolph o lirunswlck WolleabutteL The elder--the Prin cess lClizabetb, who married E top ror Charles the Sixth of Germany, and i Use soother of the famous Em- Marts Theresa Is the ances- I Of ail the Roman Catholic roval fanlllw of Europe The younger sister tb Princess Antoinette -was t&S) grandmother of Frederick Tjllltaa. the Second of Prussia, and fives war arc prang the Protestant sxyclfaSBlUw of En rope including t of KSMssa aon ureeoa Csca nswassfal test' as that which OLtXtf ftmor for tbe soldier tt tea undergoing at tb -, 4 hail at at. aha aaaat ' ;;JtCwM Cays of Bsali- JO tzmtor at .so.nu.ti. , i ei'i MNikiiiK ma a i"i ui aui aim i stovepipes. Aid v b-u one Mt of 1 dentists has ejUippcd ...an so per fectly with protectee apparatus that the weapocs ..f another .set cannot! hurt them, toth sides may at? ree that ! they are wastng time aud money in uuut;era!.ie fool.shness. aDd nation fi av decide to reason together rather thaD to t'y at eacn other's throats over every trill ug di ; c Ity. I was good news when the Coiu iu sioner of Immigration resolved on tiie deoortatiou of Mowbray, the tngiish anarchist who landed io New VorK in contravention of law, and who insolently tiled "first papers' of application for natural! at ion. The fei.ow has I een convicted and im prisoned for crime ir. England, and, therefore, is contraband. This is no time tor dealing tenderly with the uiutderous scum of Kuropeao cauitais. We have a law prohibitory o. the im portation of such stuff, and it is a law that stio .Id I e enforced to the letter. Almost without exception the men who have been active in plott ng or prompt io executing law. less huvcotts and violent assaults in piopagalion of them are of foreign birth or parentage. With one ex ception ail of those who were hanged ior coin licit? In tne llaymarket massacre were foreigners. From .ost to .Vowbray all the noisy pro mulgators of undisguised anarchy are foreigners. To the industrious and virtuous immigrant this country still offers a hearty welcome and a pleasant home, but it has no place fo the foreign-born pauper, the foreign-born cri.oinal, the foreign born lai-orer who is brought here un der contract to wor for less than the Americaa wae rate, or for the foreign -born anarchist. Maimtal jealousy, everybody ad mits. Is an ignoble sentiment: and ail will admit, theoretically at leat, that a due or even an undue ad miration for the beloved object is a high compliment to the ob ect and to the man w ho has chosen her above all others. How few there are though who have the broad-mindedness to live up to the theory. A man in New Jersey has that broad-mindedness. The husband of a beautiful and much loved wile, he went to his daily work with the most unbounded confidence in her. In bis absence the tempter came, in the shape of a young and handsome man and sought bywile to win the affections of the beautiful wife. He failed miserably. The wife was as true and good as she was beautiful. When the wooer be came too ardent she screameJ; the neighbors came in: and the m staken youth was handed over to the police, who took him to the station bouse. Did the husband arm himself and proceed to "gun" for the assailant of bis home? Not a bit of it. He simply made up a picnic basket aud gave it to the se geant in charge with instructions to g.ve the young man a good meal. He regarded the young man's infatuation as a genuine tribute to his wife's beauty as well as to bis own good judgment in marry ing her. -I don't blame the young man," he said; "be probably could not help it." hucb exhibitions ot charity are rare Perhaps on tbe whole it is well that they sbou'd be so. They are interesting, however, for the evidence they afford that there a e some men in the world who can rise above prejudice and even under ro ocation live up to tbe theories of their calmer momenta. Bala' lienoltactiona ofPaganlni. In Lis gossiping recollections of Pegent street, George Augu-tus ala says that among the dwellers in tbat thoroughfare was tbe world-famous violinist, PaganinL "iiim 1 remem ber well," ays Mr. Jaia. "not in l.egiot street, but at Irightn a bo it 1X34, a gaunt, weird man, with long bla k bair ar.d hoi ow cheeks and dashing eyes. I never see Henry Irving w th"ut recalling lagaiinl to my mind. I can remernissr vividly the impression created within me by bis plav. It was that he had got in side his violin a devil, and the im prisoned fiend demon was now shriek ing, now menacing, now suppli at ing and now seeking by aressing en dearments to obtain bis IHrtv rotn the maklclan with the fiddlestick who wis grasping his I end-tenanted fiddle so firmly by the tb oat Paga nlci played a fantasia on tbe violin at a concert g.ven by my mother at Brighton, at which the p ima donna was the enchanting M rie Mallbran; and the Illustrious violinist gave me next day. small boy as 1 was, n a very large Mil and a skeleton' suit, a banknote for ilio." ( old Have Her av. During tbe rehearsals of "Romeo and Juliet" at too London Lyceum, Mrs. Stirling, who is the most vener able of actress, took oc aslon to re mar that the nun was not neces sarily old, that she boold be repre ss led as middle aged, at and she at pealed to Mr. Irving. "iy dear Mrs. 8Urllag,"Mt4 th aiaassrar with delicate satire, "yow My sank ibe Ban Jsjat as youtfe.al a you aa " Wsiat has I loltlMeM fasn- ancsl harel saeiiwf btr waw srosft wr AGRICULTURAL NEWS A FEW SUGGESTIONS FOR OUR RURAL READERS. j llrwriptiua of a r"icrjr tilled t Cm lor Our II ad ml !'( 1hr Tlmbrrl atrttH brrr - -C m th (oiu vrral -Crnt-ral Agri. tliu"t Vrrt n1 otrl I reeders of thorough' red strains of i-wiuc not til wi-h to bae a neat lai idiog for their tine !K k. but alo one wh ch will .ermil the reparation of many 'n.i viduals. The accom panying illustrations. from the Aineilran Agr.culturists, present in 7IU. 1. l KlmPE, TITS TTKW OF MODEL TIO (.Kb I. Mg. I the elevat'on. and in Fig. 2 the ground plan of such an orna mental structure. This mo el pig gery Is fitted with conveniences for easily caring for one hundred to one hundred aud twenlv-tlve pigs. Tbe liox, a, by the window Is to re eive the swill, and the truck, c, In the passage was to hold tbe mixed leed of swl.l, gra n and hot water, or milk from Ibe set l ilers. h, and from the truck the pigs are led as it is drawn lrom one end or the passage to the other. The four p, ns which come in the center behind tbe kill ing room, and the boiler room, d, can Le shut olf from tbe pens on each no. 2. uround pl a ii or piooebt. side of tberr, and so are ma h warmer, and can be used by the breeders while the pigs are (julte smalL Tbe other pens ae to accom modate six large pigs or ten smail ones. The upfier tory of the center square is used for the sto age ot grain and of straw for bedding, I e hrp lo l In working either farm or garden tools, see that tbey are in perfect or dei t;.e wheels well oiled, tbe belts tght and the blades sharp aud poll-.hed. It is a great n.lstake to try to do good work with a rusty: d ill h'e, or to use a sh vtl-uluw or cultivator that Is i-o dull tbat it re quires a man's strength to keep it on tiie ground, In addit.on to which it ove. taxes the hordes lo pull iu It not only can not cut the weeds ofT properly, t,ut the ground is not thoroughly stirred. Have the blades taken out and ground, or, if very blunt, send them to tbe shop to be pointed. A hoe should l kept bright and shaipalall times: it will then cut up the wee s.ainl meil x the ground w lb vc y little exertion on the p.art ol the worker. The ed tor uses a c file for tills sharpening, having the men take tbe file to the field with us. One file will last lor several days. It re quires but a few minutes' work lo get the hoes sharp, and the extra work done is wortb the wages ot an extra gcxid man. A (iermao whom tbe editor bad in his employ sa d the filing of the hoes was not a good thing, but it was not many days be fore be came to tbe opin on tbat it s .ved h s strength to have a sharp boe. A sharp hoe will cut through c. oils and among high weeds, wbeie a dull hoe will not i,e able to p ne irate. W hen the hoe Is wet, rub .1 ;!ry, and then rub on a little coal ol just a little will answer. Haiti more American. alan of Irrigation. Prot O. II. Fullyer says lack of water is reducing the area cu tivated in Kansas. he uest on is not sini p y of putting in one or a few crops that have tbeir 1 mg and renu sr per lodsor seed time u I lure and harvest, but to select a var ely that will most fully occupy both the farmer and Hie s II. Crops in which skill in grow ing, barves.lng and marketing count for much are chosen. The farmers Of that portion whe e water is within easy reach by windmill pump-seem in a lair way to rank the highest In In telligent effort to make the most out of the forces and apolian' es with which they work. Tnls it one of the com i ensat on of irrigation The same amount of land may be made to yield much gr ater return, but toao this more thought mut be given to the woi k 'J he people of such re g ons be ome well to do not to say wealth,,; they are reflned and edu cated. Irrigated comities russaln a greater population per square mile. Tbe people are collected in villages and hamlet. Th r greater variety of produ tlons give thsm a good liv ing and un oppnituolty to mak Ulr sttrrouodlogs pleasant and artotia Hcary TaloatV U Okie Dairy 0e isluBr and oeafal tarn nr. he) oao ssaka tao u r. par mm easier by via tar dairy lag tbaa ktsMittlsiMiar mm by bavlag 5i sLEi. p 5 V-te i hs iow calve in spring, as rnt, Uiiun. iri uo. lie ia not 1 olher-d much with cow. aiid earir-r lo milk wiilie he isgmwiiig bisouius.-ercrr Winterdairymgdiver-il.es farm io austres,ud luruishes that some thing to do in wl.tter, the of which s tbe cb ef obstacle 1 1 pjccei-s of Northern farmers. Hut It requires ensilage aud warm stables lor cows in winter to make winter Jai.r.i.g pru..tatle. It Is harder also to xA-e the fail-tarmwed caives paf!-1' cau-e inl k is more expensive in win ter and they aie apt to get less of it, and partly because when milk it U ant sooie! iaieo lo be given cold, and throw the caif into an attack of soirs With some cheaer substi tute for milk, ant c ire not to give the alf an? cold feed or dnnk, the fail caif can be kept iu tlinlty con dition. Ijrnoplnc C'hlrka, Drooping chlcxs may lie suspected of lousiness first of ail, as ibee para riles are deadly to the youug, tender things. Tney should he examined carefully and if so infested should be dusted witb insect powder and the ne-t chaimed. The poultry house should be well fumigated with burn ing sulphur, being closed during the o erat on. The hen should also be powdered as tbe chicks are. Over feeding is often the cause of tbe drooping rum lamed of, and as soon as a young chick Is seen to hang Its winirs, or aopear rough and weak. It is to be immediately looked after. Sometimes it will be found that tbe vent Is closed by sticrfv excrement and this, or course, will be quickly fatal if not attended to. Tbe open ing should be carefully freed and greased with a little sweet oil. Tbe lood stiould be cracked wheat or corn meal welted witb water. Pure water must be supplied freely. Corn th Com rg CrraL Not a few t aref .1 otervers of the signs of tbe time pre .let that lie fore the new century dawns corn will reach a higher price than wheat, which can be produced tbe round world over. Already the money value of this distinctively American crop is m arly double that ot the wheat crop of the country. As a food it is fast ga mn,' high fa or among Ibe people of the Old World. It is ealt. raised and does not ex haust the soil, and has leen the sur est and greatest sour e of wealth for this country. The corn bell is a lim ited one. considering our immense area. land within its limits bis never shown any permanent depre ciation. Iu the course of events farm values in this corn belt must range higher and prove more p out able tb.n mines aud mineral wealth. The Ttiahrwll Sirawharry. Hut few newly introduced fruits hive received so favorable eucom urns from ex e t e aud profesiional fruit growers a have teen shower d upon tbe Tim bre. I strawberry, the original stock of which Is owned by E. V. ite.d, lirl Ige port, ( bio. yvll tho-e who have seen it and tried it pronounce it. a var cty of unex ceptional merit. THK TIMHHKLL. The flow rs are plst Hate; berries very large, unifo mly con cat, of beautiful 1 crim-on c lor: II r i, and of excellent quality; season very late. Itsfol ago is strong and healthy, and the plants are wonderfully produ live. ror ijual ty, healthiness vigor, and "arge averag ste combined, the mtio d cer claims that there is no other variety to e .ual Iu Kwe -t I'malKM. 8 weet potatoes can endure quite a period of drought, but the rows must be kept clean, however, or weeds and i ra' grass will put in an appearan e, robbing the potato plants of moisture aud rendering cultivation di.iculb The vines may be thrown on either side of tne row lo permit of the cul tivator, or may l bunched around tbe trunks on the nil s. Keep the soil locse until tbe weeds are de stroyed and the vines cover lb ground completely. farm Nnfta. N am Mai, will thrive If overfed. It will teem lo gate rapidly lor awhile, but, sooner or later, the di gest ve organs become Impaired and disease re -u I is. Thk .Massachusetts Experiment Station made an experiment in feed ing ski m milk lo calves and tigs, The result showed that it was e uiv alent to selling m. Ik at ode a hun dred. Tiik voung steers are the ones that pay Tbey should be well-bred, i-o as to grow rapdiy. There Is no neces sity lor keeping a steer longer than when It is to ree vearsold. Tne great est gain In weight is when tbey are young JixOK farming Is simply the follow ing of the pub ished experience of those who have devoted years of toil and thought to Improved methods of farming, and tbe most irogressiva men are those who profit by the teaching or others. Wiikn the giound lecomes very dry the roots or beets and turnips are apt to split with the sudden start they will make with the first good rain. Tbe prevent ve is cultivation to keen tbe soil crumb y and as a mu ch. thus preventing evaporation of tbe moisture tbat may lemain io th so L T 'K "Farm and Fireside" ear tbat tagging grapes as soon a th bloom ba fallen will prs.eat rot Tb trait U much asor beaut. I ul ba grow la bags Om poantf BMallla bags ar need. Tb bag Is op, draw eararnlly ovar tb baaob sad piuaed aKit tM fro vbssb tbe haw la growl SPREAU OF ENGL'SH Dm Larclj to fc a upllrtir V It -'-war aa4 Inllrrtlnua Tbe rapd pead of English i la gciy to ie at rib .ted to tne sim plicity f its g annua . which le le-a rompl rated than Viat of any ol er Weu-rn nauoii It marked jfvi-ity of in. tct ions, a distingiiiahe I. for example from the (ierman, a ureal iHiint iu its la. or. and tnu it s uch e is er for a t.ermaii t le m Log ih Wii.iii fur an Eniihmaii it American to learn (.cm. an. Ju tiie other hami tbe exiraordiua v orthographic in ronsisiency oi the language is a de rided drawback, and there islitte d'ubt that if Ei.giish were written on phonetic rincii Ies, as pani-h or (lerman, its spread would lie mueh more rapid, to say nothing of (he great Uwn this would te lo the Anglo-Sa .ms themselves, who sx-nd yearso: unneceaary toil in learuing to read aud wtite the r own lan guage. Il is not likely, however that any change wit. lie made in this direction in the near lutuie, at least in Eng land, fo the English as a nation are noted for their conservative habits, aod, although they m-ovni-e t e gieat advantages of a phouclic s s tcru. are in no hurry to ad pt it Any i bange io this respect must probably be looked for to America, where a few inuovatio. s have been aires y Introduced Thus, the spelling vigor," '-favor," ' honor," etc.. are American innovations, as are alo '-plow," '-traveler," "cen ter," 'theater," etc t ther more recent forms, as "program," and "catalog," are alrea-iy well estab lished In Au,er.ca but have found little favor in Kngland. English speakers mav be divided into four great branches, as follows: (1) Tbe Ea opeao, ( ) tbe Ameiicau, ( it tbe .voulh African, and ) tbe Auslrala-ian. Each of these branche- has iu peculiarities, and the diver gence lietween the four is becoming moie marked every year, Of tbe extia-Kuroiieao branches, America, although ihe o.dest, has diverged least from the pa ent system. It is su prising what a number of Ameri can words have teen Introduced lut'i Knglan I, many of whicb are now considen d Indigenous to the soil. A lar'e pioportion of the slang tpoken by the middle cla-ses in l.ngland may also 1 said U ave an Ameri can origin. On the other band, tbe Americans hive retained m .ny good old i nglish words which have long ago drouiicd out of our home vocabu lary. Cbamber' Journal. CUNNING OF THE COYOIE. Hot A t raid to II Hear a Mao Whom Ha Knows u Ba Vaarnaad. The barking habit of the coyote Is very douiikc, and his o'd name of larking wolf is very apprupr.ate. When collecting mammals in Wyom ing, sajsa wlter iu M Nicholas, it way a very couimoo thing for us to bear tbe coyotes around our camp set, up a great barking Iu choru- at the first sign or daybreak, ;ust when ihe ro.steri tiegio to crow on Ihe farm. It is a wild and unc Itivaed k nd of bark, ending iu a falsetto howl, and resemble the . ry of the jackal of In dia more nearly than any other scund 1 ever bea d. Hut ."sir Coyote Is cute. He knows e actly the distance mat constitutes lair rifle range, and he knows )ut as well whethtr the si ranger Is armed as does ihe stranger himself. bell bunting-ln the S.:o sbone Mountains In in , 1 wanted to kill a coyote ror a special purpose, but never on. e succeeded in getting a fa r shot, even at - u yards, ror ten days we banged nwav industriously at every one wc saw. but never touched a bal -. r inally. at Lor be It's ran b 1 leit the expedition and started north by stage, leaving be.h nd me ri le re volver, knife, and even scis ors. Just two hours after I had said good-by to my shooting Irons and taken the buckboard stage," we saw a coyote ahead of us. dose to the trail. t ing us c ;ming he selected a soft sp t, sat down w thin thirty rods of the trail and waited for us. We drove up stopped as we got opposite him, and si ill he did not run. That vil lian sat there cool I v without moving a muscle, i ut with a leer that plainly said: "Now, don't you wi.-.h you had your old gun'r" W hen wo got thiough making faces at him and wishing for a gun or a revolver, or even a common sione to fire at him, we drove on, aud then he got up and went hunting for jack rabbit To th s day 1 bave been puz.l Ing over the question: ' How did that crazy rascal tind out so i uickiy that both the driver aod 1 were totally un armed''' That bed d know perlectly we. 1 I have no doubt whale. er, for no coyote ever walled like tbat for a man with a gun. Had Tough (Stomach. Not long ago ram l.amond went shooting with a small party of city hall friends. When the parly reached iheir camping grounds ihey found an empty rback that bad ev dently been octumed b. a similar crowd uol long before: The commissary department or the party bad neglected lo provide anything io the nature or sjllds, and as scon e.ueuce the sportsmen bad n it, when tbey rea bed tbe shack, partaken or food forover eight hours ' lr 1 knew or a wolf that bad suf fered such pangs of hunger that are now goawlng my vitals, 1 would viect a monument to his wolf-blp In Lincoln Park," said Kavmond, as they stacked their guos In lb corner of th rhanty. On of tb silent members of the parly, who bad one been a pros pector lo Colorado and who bad many time refreshed hlmseir on th baoua dls ovred in a dsserted shack, began to os a ouod" to sc what ba might dUeover. lag few mosaenu be Mid: "Well, boy, tb Lord has pro vided." Aad b draw from a b i a chunk of b.oi l.ghtly ibe or sear, but .0 laoly gooi Cfl'' "' from th ..Ufidi..t ol rr""a of fj ui-hiiig hunter. Tbe Ui ever, was haded witn shout.' !. and i"- ' minutes the were lei u' ou the baiu 'J hrf -e.-ond dav of their stay tbey teee.ved a cad Horn tne owner of toe stuck, who l.vcd jut tsroi h the timiH-r "av, lellers.' -aid the old farmer. vou am't eat uoihiu' )u" lonod rliuiid bete, have ye' I le t a hunk o; ham here with ado e of rat polv.n on IU an' it u-tcame to me when I heard you hootin' thai yu might tlii.ik it was all li.'lit an' tackle it" We've eaten every bit o. it." re ' turued Kavmoutl. -and 1 never ae anything liter in my life For one. 1 don't p oK-e to uo into paroxysms aud die at this late hour " i ot a man in the party was sick, ! and tbey all onsi. er themselves j fairly touh men. Chicago Post. Onr Farm. One of the last of the bullefms of the eleventh census tells how many farms there are In the I nil-cd .stales, and how much land, imnioved and un improved is included In these farms. There were In IsiiO more than four and a half million farms In this coun try, auainst a little more man tour millions In 1-0. Ibe numlr of farms increased more than ha f a mil lion, or nearly li fur cent in those ten years i hey Include more than t,on,iHM,uiM) acres, considerably more than hair of whl h Is improved. Not only have the farms greatly In creased in number and in lota! area In ten years, but a large proportion of them were improved In I8W than in ISHO. All this is very pleasant to see, from the point of view of the ceneral well being, but there Is one tendency shown to a slight extent in the farm staii-tlcs which is not altogether en couraging. The average size of the American farm in !su was 113 acre. The average sle lo Ihviu was li i acres. This Is a very small difference, quite uninn o. tarit except that It shows the tendency in the sl.e of farms to lie in the wrong direction. If many farms bad not lcome much larger In the decade through the absorption of smaller ones, or the taking up of large domains in other ways then by the homestead and pre emption laws, not even the sm ill In crease that is noted in the size of the average farm, small as it Is, could bave taken place. ur National and 'tale land legis lation should encourage neither the formation of lare landed estates nor the reduction of farms to a very small sle Either of these tenden cies would constitute a public evil, but of the two, a tendency to large estates Is undoubtedly the wore. Youths' Companion. I he Mashnr's Mlatako. An elderly ladv, says the New Yor Journal, who kt-eps a fashion able up town school and who lays no claim to good looks, tells the follow ing as a oke on herself. "The other nfghl I left tho home of a lriend half a nil e lve my hou-e. It was pou ing with lain. 1 had on a heavy mackintosh arid a thick veil, but no umorclla. 1 started to walk home, when a swell looking y tin man approached, raised h s hat with a mashing smile and aeked me to come under his umi.rel a. I took his arm with a smile and walked w th b i tit to my door. He said sweet things all the way. When 1 reached tny door I thanked bim for his shel tering escort. He suggested a Mile supper. I said ' 'Voung man. who do you take me for?' at the same time raising my veil and looking at. him in the full glare o: tho electric lUht He lumped balf way acioss the street and died: ' The devil!'" Turned to Thought of !. In Kansas they say a young fellow is sweet on a girl when be helps ber to pen the pigs. If a I eolucky ina den steals the little silk bow from the lining of a young man's hat and wears it io her shoe she expects him to propose within a mouth. In Maine the signs are favorable when a young man asks the livery stable keeper for a steady horse that will ,og along with the lines thrown ab ut the whip In Texas that ab sent m ndedness which denotes love Is attributed to a vo ng man who lorgets his revolver when he goe to a dan -e. In Lower t an.ida the ar dent habitant begs a wooden shoe from bis sweetheart to keen bis to bacco in. New York Recorder. A Fores or Saturn. The teacher had up the class io primer of natural philosophy, mid she had told the youug-tcru the stoiy or tiewion and the apple. "Now,"hh!ln,ulred, '-what makes tbe apple fall to the ground?" Not, a hand went up fo,- Mime mo menu, aod then a dirty one i-eloog. lug to a small boy slowly aro . "1 know." he sad. "We. 1," smiled the teacher, ao provlnxly, 'tell the class." ''cause it's rotten." Washington's Many Widows. There is om; widow to every sixteen and a halfol the population 'r Wash Ington; the whole number of widow., as appears by the recent, ensus reimrt toi5,ooti. Tbe excessive bfo,riloa Is accounted for by the tact that em p.oyiuent In many branches of the l.overnment service has been lotiod for tbe widows of soldiers 1 tb ir man's summery way of dealing witb hi. custom- u? makes bim rich. A M..nK.ri.T bas 12,000 'ma u la y. This is what tons sZTT.. Ml to kk mi