TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER
ESTING ITEMS.
FPlim ( taw Da-aUatavt4 mm
The man who judges the wheat
sarket by the size of the baker's loaf
i a sure loser.
A Chicago preacher tells us that
Mows waa the father of socialism.
Gearly a mistake. Moses was the
lather of C-ershom. Exodus, 11, 22.
And of Eliezer. Exodus. : vlii, 4.
Some are endowed with good tem
per in a much greater degree than
others. The gift can however be in
creased by the effort to cultivate it
Each one can nourish it In himself
If he only conies to appreciate its
value su!ticiently. Let the motive
be present and the sacrifice will be
forthcoming.
William Novak, a person who
keeps a saloon In Chicago, is a hu
morist who should be sent to tiie
penitent ary and kept there. He
puts snuff Into other men's beer and
kills them. This Is but a feeble
form of wit It is not nearly so hu
morous as pointing a loaded gun at a
friend, rocking a rowboat or lulling
a chair from beneath a person about
to sit down. Mr. Novak lack? in
ventiveness. He should be perma
nently retired.
Toe young bloods of England who
enter the array pursuant to custom
and in onrormlty with a long-prevailing
style, are having more seii
ous matters in Africa than to hunt
wild game or bask in tropcal
luxuriance. They have teen'
having several kinds of fighting
lately; and, however the enemy may
fare, there Is always a list of deaths
that carry sadness to the homes back
in England. This constant eddeavor
oa tiie part of that country to extend
her domain is attended with a good
many drawbacks.
'TiiK fate of the Kearsarge, which
went on a reef in Central American
water, has been the fate of many
of the old style of American
men of-war. Yessels constructed at
the time the Kearsarge was on the
ways were not provided with water
tight bulkheads and apartments. A
hole punch d in any part of them
meant ao almost instantaneous flush
ing of the lower decks and escape
from sinking was next to impossible.
The 11 S. 8. Ashulot which struck
Lamock's Rock in the China sea in
1882. went down in less than thirt--ve
minutes, notwuhstand ng ever
artifice taught at Annapolis to pre
vent it was practiced. Less fortu
mate than was the Kearsarge, the
Ash dot lost eleven men. Hulls of
vessels of the Kearsarge class are old
and have weathered the storms of too
many years to admit of their being
safe. They should be put out of com
mission before they cause loss of life.
Many women expose themselves
recklessly to robbers. They go into
thoroughfares and public places car.
tying costly bags on frail chains or
frailer clasps. They wear diamonds
fn their ears from breakfast all day.
They advertise their ossession of tine
watches by showing them conspicu
ously on their gowns, in most cases
secured bv slight attachments. They
carry well filled purses in their hands
and often lay the tempting articles
down absent-mindedly in stores and
oa cafe tables. At street corners,
when waiting for cars, they will open
wallets disclosing rolls of bills, and,
having extracted a small amount of
change, will drop the wallet into an
Mitslde pocket where the observant
hief will easily find It, hustling the
ansuspecting victim In a crowd or
sitting beside ber in a car. A rich
woman of New York whe is missing
went out early in the day with sev
eral thousand dollars' worth of dia
monds on her person. It is feared,
and Justly, that she has been waylaid
for the jewels. The wonder is that
mora women are not robbed.
Some of the Indians on the Navajo
reservation attended the World's
SaJr, where they wer.; atta hed to
aoine of the side shows. They earned
a little money, but their visit to
civilization did them unexpected
good in another way. They were
particularly impressed with the show
of floe fruits, and since their return
Cher have shown a great desire to
become farmers. Lieut E. H. PI u tu
mor, who has charge of the reserva
tion, thinks - they should be en
couraged. Ao appropriation of 15,000
ar M,000 be thinks will be tufflcient
to aire them f start It Is nothing
ear for Uncle Sam to help his Indian
wards to settle do wo as farmers.
Tstsre are thousands such among the
ftvtsl tribal, aad they are fairly
gjte;V3ua. Too Indian takes to
CxwUZj tts It ft otar his old
CMOiCt al hasiaass It to
Ctt tzl tost . to all
sand dollars the money can hardly be
used in a better way. We spend
millions In war to kill the Indiana
Now It is time to begin to settle
their future in more civilized ways.
Through the enterprise and piuck
of Capt Wigeins, a sturdy British
seaman, the practicability of using
the Kara Sea north of Europe as a
route to Siberia has become estab
lished. Capt Wiggins has been ex
perimenting with this route twenty
years, lie has lea-ned where the
best channel lies, arid hereafter there
is likely to be considerable commerce
go through this route. Next season
Russia will ship 17,00) tons of steel
rails for Its trans-Siberian railroad by
way of Kara Sea It is an interest
ing i.uery whether the navigability
of this sea is wholly due to better
knowledge of its channel, or whether
it may not be because the arctic cli
mate In Europe is becomjng milder
than it was in the earlier times when
this route was tried and condemned
as impracticable. If this route to
China andIndia had been tried aud
found practicable before the dlscov
ery of America, the memorable voy
age of Columbus might have been
postponed to a later date It was
the discovery of Ie Garua, that the
wiiter route to India could be had by
passing around the Cape of Good
Hope, that delayed for many years
the early settlement of the New
World which Columbus di-covered.
As American college professor, re
cently returned from abroad, com
plains of the reception be met with
at the United Mates legation in
London. I esiring to visit the mili
tary Academy at Woolwich, the pro
fessor, in compliance with regulations
governing admission to that Institu
tion, appli -d to the Secretary of the
American Embassy for a card. This
official asked for some Identification,
and the professor produced- bis pass
port, bearing bis signature and at
tested by the ! ecretary of State
This was not deemed sufficient, and
the applicant for favors was informed
that he must bring a letter from his
banker. His letter of credit, also
bearing his s gnature, was produced
aad rejected as being insufficient to
estallish identity. The man of learn
ing refused to make further efforts to
impress on the Secretary's mind that
he was the person he represented
himself to tie, and departed. The
professor should reflect that the r ec
retary was doing h i best to earn his
salary. That probably was the first
work he had performed since he ac
knowledged on behalf of the minis
ter, the last invitation to Lord Pedi
gree's dinner. The Secretary of ao
American legation is often obliged to
work overtime U find work to do,
and the professor should not censure
the on in London for having gotten
out of his visit ail the labor there
was in it
Ojnk Andrew Jones was prosecuted
in a Chicago police court the other
day, and he seems to be one of those
first-class fellows to retire from active
circulation in any community, if the
stories of the police are (correct
They say he robbed the corpse of his
room-mate and sold thy body to med
ical students for d ssectlon. It ap
pears that Jones roomed with a young
man named Johnson, who was taken
ill. The latter wrote to his old
mother in Jackson, Miss., asking for
aid to get home. The old woman
worked Hfteen weeks in order Vo save
money enough to buy a railroad
ticket from Chicago to Jackson. In
the meantime Johnson bad died.
Jones received the ticket f'rged John
son's name and sold the ticket to a
scalper. Then he sold his room
mate's corpse to a medical college for
$10. Jones was arrested on a charge
of forgery, but the case was dis
missed because the only competent
witness was dead. 11". was then ar
rested on a charge of larceny, but
was again dismissed because the sale
of the ticket had been entrusted to
him. Again be was arrested cn a
charge of obtaining money under
false pretenses. On this charge he
was held. Jones Is "the meanest
man" that the world has so long been
trying to Identify. Salt him down.
Lay him away. There Is no room
for him in any town unless it is
grated and barred.
America.
The outlying islands of the West
ern Continent were first discovered
by Christopher Columbus upon bis
initial vovage of disco ery in 149',
landing , upon what is now called
Watting Island, on October t of
that year; subsequently vUlting the
Island of Cuba on Cctober 11 and
Ilayti on Lecemher '. Upon his sec
ond voyage he discovered the Island
of i orto Klco on November 15, 149,'i,
and the Island of Jamaica of Mar 3,
The continent itself he first
discovered a. the month of the
Orinoco River, August 1, MM. In
the previous rear the coast of Labra
dor bad been discovered by the Cabota
on ana 24, and in the same year toe
Atlantic Coast of North A merlca was
explored by gebastlaa Cabot
U wt3 til', lot ta
IS 1. T a a.
WHEN GRAN'PAP UT HIS CORN- j
COB PIPE.
Whan (raa'peB lit hi corncob ipa, how qalat
all t blags arew
TtthU Km i-mli lrrl u aroana th bmuth ws
Our roudh. aapalat oafcam chain and wailed
fur tbe tale
TtH ever folluwa 1 that event , not ot did gran -
pap 'it
To flht attain, and yet attain, tbe win at ton
To traTck) Indian ; bant tba baar ; thara la tba
bat-sir s slow.
Ha lived again hit hot hood day. What nun-
Waka at i he n etulou of tba boor wbeo gran "pap j
ax nil pi pa.
Par gruijjap was a pioneer ; hia bona it. ready
Had hewn tba tree that made his bom within
a new. lonnd laud.
Ha Lad an endlese atock of yarns a million,
mora or lean
The hutury of bis early life within a wUdernees.
And wnen be aocbettmee quit forgot, and told
some story twtoe,
Ko one obKctea ; bo nor whan he'd chance to
teU ooe Ltie :
For tales like Ms nUr lost their charm those
svriea of the type
That gran pap nse to" lU us as he smoked his
corncou pipe.
Oa, good old man, who long hatb slept the sleep
tnat uringetb rest
A patriarch uum a tribe that e'er will call yon
blest
Cod Id you come back and Join that gronp
around the roaring blaze
And tell, aa in the lung ago, th.e b-geuda of th
days
Wban strong with y- nth and hearty toU yon
trailed t be forest through.
How wo old that group, though changed with
Tears do nouor unto youl
And maJiy a feu.biiug band, gmn'pap, away
warm tears would wipe
As you'oj draw yoor armchair to tbe fire and
light yoor corncob pipe.
Inter Ocan.
AN ARTISTS STORY.
'rnfortunately," said the eminent
Royal A' ademiclan, leaning his elbow
on the mantelpiece and gazing down
into tbe Are, unfortunately I have
made up my m nd ne.er to lie Inter
viewed. I am afraid I cannot mate
an exception even for you."
Then, seeing the -S. S." man's face
fall, tie added k ridlv:
However, if you promise to sup
press my name, 1 will tell you the
story of my ilrst success, ami even if
you do not care to publish it, yuu
will have something to take back to
your editor.
"I began life Very low down on the
ladder of pros: erlty. My attic-studio
was In Uoosegreen, ilHromersmltb,
and here I used to spend my time
chiefly in enlarging p .otographs for a
firm in Kdgeware Hoad.
It was in the autumn of 18 (and
then put a dash, don't vou knew )"
and the eminent Academician crossed
over to see that it was put down
right. "Yes, that's It, go on.
'At tbe time when my more for
tunate brethren were returning from
their summer holidays loaded with
sketches to work up during the win
ter I was sitting at the portrait of a
city magnate. It seemed a hopeless
task trying to put any expression into
that heavy, podgy, pudding face. I
struggled on reproducing the photo
graph, until I could smell the smell
of a city dinner and see little scraps
of turtle floating in tbe air. Then
1 threw down my penc.l and gave It
up In despair.
That was too much for my empty
stomach. Tbe whole air ot the room
was Impregnated with that bloated
alderman, w.tn bis tiny pig-like eyes
and dilated nostrils snl;ting for feed.
I lighted my pipe and threw myself
back In a low wicker chair, sick or
my inartstlc artist's life and dis
gusted with my work.
uddenly there come a gentle rap
at the door. I started. It was very
unusual with me to have visitors so
late In the day.
The man who entered was the
moit remarkable man i nave ever
seen. . lie was tan ana tnin so torn.
that, to my overworked brain and
tired eyes, It almost seemed as if I
could cee right through him.
His face was a deathly white, and
his eyes burned with a steady, con
stant light that frightened me.
Their sole expression seemed to me
their intensity, and when the fire
light sell on tbem they turned a deep
blood-red, like a dog s eyes in the
sun.
At first he entirely overlooked
me, although I had sprung to my
teet as he entered. He crossed over
to the easel on which the portrait of
that ghastly alderman was hanging,
and he walked with a silent BhuTe,
almost without lifting his feet, that
suggested to me that he might be
mad I know not why.
He tapped the wet canvas with
bis knuckle, and said, still without
looking at me:
"Vou paint portraits, I believe?
Ah, you paint them well; you must
paint mine '
'He spoke in a quiet, determined
wav, as if he were used to command.
Few words passed between ua He
wanted me to begin at once, in spite
of the fast fading llht, and I
Immediately placed a fresh canvas on
tbe easel.
There he sat like marble, his
death like lace Immovable, his lips
tightly closed.
"1 worki d away, inspired by the
solemn beauty of his face. A terri
ble fascination impelled me, and I
never worked faster or better.
In two hours I bad lompletely
mastered his face, but the light of
the eyes no brush could paint
' I'm afraid 1 can't see any more
to-night,' i said. 'Can you spare me
another sitting to morrow?'
"He rose silently, and glanced In a
satisfied way a' tbe canvas.
" 'Same time to-uioi row,' be said
and then disappeared.
" Well, to cut a long story short,"
went on the famous It. A., ' the
mysterious stranger came and went
in the same silent way for three or
(our days, until I had finished his
Dictura
When tba last sitting was over,
he bald out bis hand. Thank you '
he said; "at last I bave bad Justice
lone. Yoo mlht keep tba picture
until I Ufof the aiooe;,' and tbea
ha die speared
"rfom that day rvarv oaa who
IeasaMt ny atttflo aisntraJ tfca
itf tlrcicc fit Er
brot her artists ad vised me to show It
at the Academy, and as three months
bad paned ana 1 nad never heard a
word from my silent patron, I
thought there could be no harm in
doing so.
"It was hung on the line and, as
you doubtless remember, attracted
very considerable attention. In those
davs it was the custom to put a fancy
background to portraits, and 1 had
cho-en from among my sketches a
wild craguy ravine, sombre and pre
cipitous, wbkn seemed to harmonize
with that striking figure It was a
memento of my last summer's trip to
Scotland. From all sides congratu
lations poured In. and from that day
to this 1 have never reaped to climb
the all pery ladder of fame.
"After the academv had been
opened a few days, a city solicitor
called upon me.
" -I believe,' he said, 'ou are the
painter of picture No. 45", at the
Academy?'
"I acknowledged I was.
" 'May I ask,' went on my visitor,
looking curiously round my 6tudio,
may I ask,' he repealed, 'who was
the original of that portrait and how
long it has been painted':"
'"His name, unfortunately, 1 do
not know. As for the date' and I
0 ened my dairy. 'Yes, here it is
August -list,'
" Are yo:i quite sureV said the
solicitor eagerly stretching out his
band for tbe book.
"1 showed him the entry, and he
seemed almost stupefied.
" 'Did be suggest that background''
' 'Only by his striking personality.
1 had a sketch of it in my ortfol o
and picked it out when the Idea was
suggested that I ought to send It to
the Academy.'
" 'Thank you,' he said. 'I am ex
tremely obliged." And before I had
time to ak any questions ho had
vanished.
'About three mornings afterwards
I came across the following para
graph in the Morning News:
THE SOlTTmU IfTMTKKI.
"A mo't extraordinary trial U now attaot
ln Bt:. Lt on 10 Kcollainl. It appears that
laHt Kiinimt'ra certalu Mr. (iil hnnt was
traveling in Aberdm-n with bin wife and
friend. One morning Mr. Gilchrist Inft the
bolul on a mountain cipedition. Iroin wbitib
he nevr returned.
"Th su"pioloas of hl friends were
aroud by the marriage of Mrs. tiilcbnat a
fww week alter Ibe dianler Willi a certain
Mr. Freeman, who had bnon their traveling
companion. They could, however. And no
traces ol foul play.
"In this year's Academy there appeared a
portrait of the deceaned. Hubee'iuent in
vestigation show ed it had been painted lbre
or four months arter his death. The artist,
however, could throw no fresh light upon
the mystery, of wlib h the most extraordi
nary iealure waa that the background
which he aeleeted by chance was a sketch
o( tbe very district In which Mr. Gilchrist
bad disappeared.
"His relatives determined to sift the mat
tor, and eearching the eia t spot in the
picture, they have found tbe body, with a
rusty dagger Imbedded in bis side.
"The weapon was at once identified aa the
property of Mr. Freeman, who is now on
trial for the murder ot Mr. (Jlk-hilst.
"The prisoner confessed his guilt
and wasseutencedtodeath." London
Short Stories.
SUPERIOR VITALITY OF INSECTS.
r.((s Often Uninjured Even After Sob
iacted to Intense C'uld.
The eggs of insects bave greater
l ow rs of vital ty than any others.
A case was published of an egg pro
ducing an insect eighty years after It
must bave teen laid, and the scien
tist respons ble for lb s statement
thinks the power of vlviflcation may
endure in these eggs for an 1 rule (In te
per od. Many eg,8 of Insects are ex
posed to the air without any covering,
and many are sheltered too si ghtly
to be secure from the frost. This,
however, the are able to resist, re
maining unfrozen, though exjosed to
the severest cold, or, still mor : sur
prising, are un njured by its intense
act on, n covering their vitality even
after having been frozen into lumps
of ice. On exps ng several silk
worm eggs for Ave hours to a freez
ing mixture which made Fahrenhe t's
thermometer fall to '! degrees below
zero rpo lanzi found that they were
not frozen nor their fertility in the
s, lira test degree impaired. Others
were exposed to a degree of 3'i
degrees bebw zero without be
ing In u red. The quality of the
eggs of snails is, perhaps, even
more marvelous. These eggs, if des-
s lea ted in a furnace unt l they are
scarcely visible, will always regain
their original bulk when damped, and
the young will be brought forth as
though tbe eggs had never been in
any way Interfered with. Ne thei
beat nor old seems to have any in
jurious effect upon their vitality fot
they have been froen Into ice or
any length of t me and when the ice
is melted will be found to be wholly
uninjured Baltimore American.
Kalndeer Meat mm Food.
A clergyman, the Tievercnd Mr,
WallKwho has lived several ycare
on the I'orcupine river In the
Lritisb northerly possessions, writes
enierlainlngly of his manner of life
in that frigid region.
'Many times." be says, "I have
subsisted almost exclusively on rein
deer meat It is very good, and I
may sav it Is about the onty kind of
meat you don't get t red of. 1 think
It it better, all things cons dered.than
beef, and that you can eat It longer
without its palling on you. It is a
venison mire than anything else.
The Indians eat it almost exclusively,
and they are very big and strong.
Some of tbem are six feet high, and
the average Is about Ave feet, ten
Inches. They are genuine orth
American indians,and not the Aleuts,
Eskimos, or mixture of the two.
i keep an Indian hunter, and he
s&ppiles me with all tbe reindeer
meat 1 want He also brings me
go use, duck, bear, and other game as
1 need Ifc I hsvs learned to shoot
pretty wall myself, as the white man
do in that region or anywhere eon-
tifnous to It Tba ducks and goose,
l&t ta reindeer, are ranarkably
aood aatiiMr.n
OF LA-
Owwrwore htw KIIU. bat Worry Slays Its
Tamaaaaaa
I Ha well-known that the late Sir
Andrew Clark had a contempt for
tbe view thai bard work hurts a
man, says the London News. From
the latest of tbe series of articles re
producing in tbe Lancet Instruct. ons
given by him in clinical medicine at
the London hospital, we make the
following interesting quotation, re-1
viving in bis own words a bit of
autobiography, with the substance '
of which our readers are already fa- j
miliar: I
"Labor li the life of life. And I
especially is It tbe life of life to tbe
delicate. And when any organ is
sick, it Is then truer tnan in health
that even in sickness and delicacy it
Is better for the organ to do what
work of Its own it can, provided it
can do It without ln,ury. And lean
say to you from a considerable ex
perience of tuberculous pulmonary
disease. 1 can say with .perfect con
fidence that those wh i have done
the bei have usually been th'ise
who have occupied themselves the
ma-l 1 never knew my own
en is
"They both died of phthisis,
the age of U 1 mveif went to
deira to die of phthisis. Lut I
par-
At
not die, and on coming back I had
the l'ixki luck to get Into this great
hospital, and in those days they
were not very pleased to have the
!-cotchmen coming to London to oc
oc upy such appointment. The
members of the stair had heard that
I had tubercle and they wagered 100
to I that I would oniy have the ap
pointment six months at most. The
reason given for that was that I did
not eat and worked too hard.
"I got the appointment Thirty
eight or thirty-nine years have gone
cince that time, and it is all the
other doctors that arc gone. Only 1
am left here on the staff an old gen
tleman not dead yet"
There was one little mistake here,
as the editor of the Lancet points
out Sir Andrew Clark had for the
moment forgotten that Dr. W. J.
Little was still alive.
"Labor Is life," said iSlr Andrew
Clark in the lecture above quoted,
"but worry Is killing. It is bad
management that kills iople. Na
ture will let no man overwork him
self unless be plays ber fabe takes
stimulentsat irregular times, smokes
too much or takes opium. If be is
regular and obeys th laws of health
and walks In the way of physiological
righteousness, nature will never al
low him or any other person to work
too much.
"1 bave never yet seen a case of
breaking down from mere overwork
alone, but 1 ad nit that it is neces
sary above all things to cultivate
tranquility of mind. Try to help
your patients to exercise their wills
Jn regard to this for will ounts for
something in securing tranquility
to accept things as they are and not
to bother about yesterday, which Is
gone forever, not to bother about
to-morrow, which is not theirs, but
to take the present day and make
the best of it, Those affectionate
women who will continually peer
into what lies beyond never have any
present life at all they are always
grizzling over the past or prying in
to the future, and this blessed to
day, which Is ail that we are sure of,
they never have."
Antiquity of tbe Pump.
Machines for raising water mav be
said to lie as old as civilization Itself,
and their invention extends so far
bevond written bl-tor.y that no one
can sav wh-n the art of lining and
distributing water betfan. kg.pt,
the land of unfathomable anti i u i ty,
the oldest civilization of the Orient,
noted not only for her magnificence
and power, but for engineering skill,
made practical use of such Important
devices as the syphon and syringe,
the latter being a remarkable Inven
tion, arid the real parent of the mod
ern pump.
Whether or not syringes were ever
fitted withlnlt or outlet valves,
tbus making the single-action pump,
is not known, butlicllows, consisting
of a leather bag set in a frame and
worked by the feet the operator
standing with one foot on each bag,
expelling the inclosed air, tbe ex
hausted bag being then lifted by a
string to retlll it with air implies
the use of a valve opening Inward,
and It Is diillcult to conceive of a con-
tinuous operation without one.
A representative piece of mecban -
PRESEffVATIVt. EFFECT
BOR.
is u occurs frequently on the sculp I horses, nursing doll babies, and in
tures of early Egypt It has tbe ap-' other ways disporting themselves af
pearanre of, and is generally believed ter the manner of Christian urchins
to be a portable pump Tbe h draullc ! of the present general Ion, tbey are,
screw is also attributed to this peo- no doubt, Just as happv as was tbe
pie, but their main reliance seems al-1 patriarchal Alxlon, and much prouder
ways to have been shadoof, seen I than If they had eclipsed I'raxlteles
everywhere along the banks of the
Nile an invention so simple, and so
well adapted to their needs, that It I
remains to-da. substantially the sime '
as It has through all the centuries 1
since history began. ,
The same may be said regarding .
tbe chain pump in China, an I oven-
tion the origin of which antedates I
tbe Christian era. This simple ma-
chine Is In such common use that i
every agricultural laborer Is In pos
session of one Where Irrigation is
conducted on a larger scale the chain )
pump Is made proportionately larger
and moved b. a very simple tread- !
wheel, and still larger ones an op
erated by joking a buffalo or other
animal to aauiuble driving machine.
New Oltlseas of France,
During 1802 4,537 aliens were nat
turallzed In France and It Is of soma
interest that 27V ot these were Ger
man i A thousand parsons from
Alsace-Lorralns acquired French na
tionality aurinc ine year, ana vo
Italians, 7 Belgians, and 83 Rus-
slana Seven thousand eighty-eight
children of Alien partau, bora on
French soil, were counted In as of
French nationality, witl.ou. choice
or option of the parents bv virtue of
the new legislation promoted to check
tbe foreign elemeut in France and to
work up an Increase of the population
which the native element falls to
maintain. Altogetner France ac
quired In one way and aoother 22,892
new citizens during the year 1S63.
Cnder Uiacipline.
I tell you what 'tis men are good
enough fur's the- go, but there alut
one of 'em but what needs takin'
down now 'an then." remarked Mrs.
Sprout, as she unrolled her knitting
work and prepared to spend the
afternoon with her sister. "I s'pose
likely they do." responded little Mrs.
I'eters, who lived In constant awe of
her stolid spouse: but It alnt always
easy to know ,est how to do it Ml
randv." 'Iluiupii! It's easy enough
If you only set aoout it" said Mrs.
Sprout, with a grim smile. And then
she settled down to her story:
"I've jest ln bavin' a season with
josiah. He's ben tellin' me right
along that I looked kinder dragged,
an' last oil I spoke up an' says I, 'It's
enough t' make 'most any woman
look dragged, Josiah, to be standln'
over the cookln'-stove this hot
eather.'
"Josian, he looked all took aback,
an' he save, 'Why Mirandv, what
makes you do sech a mess o' cookln'?
Jest take th ngs easy. 1 can get
along with 'most, anytrln'; you no
need to cook up set h a v'rlety o' stuff
fer me. Now le's start right out
with breakfast t'morrer. You jest
give me a plain, wholesome meal; I
slia'tit be the fust t' complain.'
"Well he went over to his brother
Jim's, an' be wa'nt home the ref t o
that day. I knew what he relished
an' craved the most of anythin' but
'twas what give me the most work
an' kep' me all het up, an' so I Jest
allowed that that was what I'd cut
short on, seeln' Jos ah cal'lated it
didn't make no difference what he
eat
"Well, nct mornln' come, an' he
set down to the table as usu'L There
was nice piece o' pork an' potatoes
an' garden sass an' doughnuts an'
raised biscuits an' good coffee, 'Twas
a teal wholesome meal
"Josiah he I egan to eat, but he
didn't say much. I see htm kinder
lookiu' the table over once or twice,
an' he seemed sorter disanp'inted.
Finally he lay down his knife an
'ork, an' looked over at me real be
seech In', so't I couldn't scussly keep
my count'nanee.
"What's the matter?' says L
Don't youT food relish. Josiah?'
" Ye e i ' says he, 'but it's a kind
of a slim breakfast, alnt it. Mi
randy?' " -What la't you mis?' says I.
'Well, there don't seem to be no
pie on the table,' says he, looin' fer
all the world like a gre't school bo.
"1 got up an' fetched him a big
piece that I'd saved frm tbe day be
fore, an' set it in front of bim, an
you never see a man brighten up the
way he did! Hut right In tbe mid
dle of it he looked up an' k etched
my eye, an' be turned reg'lar jKppy
color.
" 'I al'iate it's some work t' make
pies.' he says real humble; an' then I
knew he'd come to a reallzln' sense.
"Thar, was all I wanted of him,"
concluded Mrs. Sorout, twitching
energetically at a refractory ksot
"I'm willln' to do for him, but I Jest
have to take him down now an' agin.
Men are all made Jest like that;
they're an awful onreasonable set If
women wasn't here to keep 'era
where they'd ougbter be:"
Without Wives and liable.
Man Is but an Incomplete being
without a helpmeet, in fact, only a
moiety of a man. waiting to be per
fected ! the addition of a "better
half."
The royalty of his natuie remains
undeveloped while he Is single
Only when he has a wife to pro
tect and cherish, and children to
train and discipline docs he attain
his true status In the world.
Alxlon, the Judge of Israel, whose
forty sons and thirty grandsons filed
oil before hlrn, mounted on three
score and ten asscolts, may be sup
pose 1 to have felt wonderfully edited
and built up by the spectacle.
How the old man's heart must have
bounded with honest exultation
when he beheld such a cavalcade of
his own raising.
Modern papas do not trot out their
offspr ng in the imposing Oriental
style; but when they ce troops of
! them capering about on hobby-
as statuaries or heated Cheops at py
ramid building. ,
Home and faml'y! what a dreary
objectless life Is hit who has not
these to are for, and what a deser)
of a world this would be without the
wives and babies.
Hure Comfort.
He cannot be an unhappy man who
has the love and smile of woman to
accompany bin in every department
of life The world may look dark
and cheerless without, enem es may
gather In his path; but. when he re
turns to tbe tl reside, and feels tba
lender love of woman, be forgets bis
cares and troubles, and Is a compara
tively happy man. lie Is but half
prepared for tbe Journey of Ufa who
does not take with b ni that friend
who will forsake blm In no emergency,
who will divide bis sorrow, Increase
bis Joys, and throw sunshine amid
the darkest scenes.
i uistimusino voniunt mar be re.
J lleved by applying to We stomach a
bet shingle or woolen pad broaght
from the oven.
f,',MV ,7-V? : .