MOW A LOVER WAS UNOONI.
A Maaa Trie la Wfcw k Wirt t r-
taaa.a4.
U"ar baa bruara out la wrtaia
)icUd arnu boarding hou. "MJ
il along or ni.idrti fair," lb ltlr
baing. la fact, tbe landlady's daua
tsr, aajri ths Cleveland lNd r. Amoo
lb boarders U a bluhir rduraU-d for
ifaar who, rxtiablr can kuuck
graat varlrty of sounds out of a
Hno In a -t-o Urns than
amy other peraoa la thl tow a.
Ttr art ml an-hs past thla -tit-man
baa bws In tha babtt of
Mleiinj. In tha parlor, aftrr tha r
tiTMnvnt of the other ttuanlrrs. aad
voklDR (H-t atralna for the dflcrla
ttoa of tha fair girl hpn-lDtx'fura men
Uoaed. Thow who priifraa to bas ob
talaad Inalda Information dwlars that
ha did much sighing, considerable -lag
with soulful eyea. and . whls-
parings of airy nothlnga ,xtwrn
lanra, all or hicn was rougiy vv
)ctd to by tha lM-Ktft-d men around
him. Upon various occasions the dn
tlraian from arrons the water was r
Ounated to perform for tha benefit of
there beside the tandludy'a daughter,
but he strongly objected to thla. Oc
casionally he would throw a little fit
upon the keyboard for them, but he
positively refused to sing for any one
save the sweet girl, although It waa
known that he had a fine voire. At
first the gentleman's attentions to the
landlady's daughter were rather enjoy
ed by her, but they soon became so
fervid that abe shrank from them, es
pecially a she knew that everybody
ls In the house waa aware of what
waa going on, and waa disposed to
ragard the whole business as some
thing to be laughed at. So a few even
ings ago she Intimated to some one
that abe would be glad of an opportu
nity to rid herself of the foreigner's
attentions, and a plot waa arranged.
After dinner she was to remain In the
parlor, with her adorer, and ask him
to ling for her, being assured that
something would happen, as soon as
he began, to bring matters to a head.
She carried out ber part of the pro
gramme, and, having drawn several
long sighs and gated at her In mute
admiration for a long time, the lover
touched the piano for the customary
boom-boom-boom, p-r-r-r-r-r amp-amp
' nop, and began to alng an amatory
oDg from the Italian or something
else that nobody In the house, save
himself, could understand. Then, of a
sudden, there waa a fearful racket up
on the stairway. Forty-thousand tin
cans seemed to be fastened to the tails
of as many dogs, all of which had been
turned loose at once. Tha lover's
oong became a feeble pipe la a chaos
of distracting sounds. It waa as If
a presidential election night, a boiler
hop, and the entire Are department
had been consolidated and well shak
en before using. The young man's
face became white and he stopped
singing, whereupon the sweet girl
clapped her hands over her empurpled
visage and rushed from the room. It
la alleged that people three blocks
away heard the gentleman gritting his
teeth, after the other racket had sub
elded, and his wrath was In no wise
diminished when he began to under
stand that the girl whom he adored
had been a party to the humiliating
ordeal through which he bad passed.
At present the piano remains unused,
aad an ominous quiet bangs over that
boarding-house. The foreign gentle
Ban Is still there, and It Is understood
that as soon as he can learn the
ante of the man who engineered the
plot the latter will be invited to choose
ala weapons. Thla is why some of the
then have ceased to regard It as a
Joke.
IMAGINED HE WAS ILL.
ImUUiIm Who Had Hmi Diinklaf
Frlghtoad at Prleads' Haaiarka,
From the New Orleans Tlmes-Demo-
rat: Faith cure may not be able to
cure actual Ills of the flesh, but Imagi
nation can give them. In this city
lives a very bright man who has sent
his family away because of the fever.
Me is lonesome and he was drank a
good deal since his wife went away
Night before last he drank Just a little
too much, and several of his friends
put up the joke afterward of telling
him that he had "away too much" and
that people were talking about his
drinking all over town. That scar
him and he determined to quit and did
so. still, the memory of his drinking
clung to him and yesterday afternoon
he met some more friends, who In
vlted him to drink. He declined.
whereupon they told him that he did
right; that he had been drinking en
tlrely too much and was looking very
badly. In ten minutes the imaginative
man was actually pale and In half an
hour be was weak. He confessed to
one friend that he was not yet sober
from the drinking of the night before
and was urged in vain to brace up in
a cocktail. He said he felt drunk al
ready, whereupon one friend, with
very little medical knowledge, but as.
sumption of a great deal, told htm he
bad a form of delirium tremens quite
common among hard drinkers who
quit suddenly, a species of nervous let
down similar to the reaction from vio
lent overstimulation. By 9 o'clock, last
night the Imaginative man had actual
ly gone to a physician to put himself
under treatment.
Yua.-I've lust invested in nr. a.
of
tsose salt and pepper suits. Crimson-
boa wen, ma oudos as a It would
fee good for at least two seasons. Tan
ker Statesman.
Certainly.
"A Kentucky man has recovered
hsm which was stolen several years
ago. It had become petrified." "Pet
rifled That's hard." Cleveland Plata
Dealer.
txriRT CHiCKrw riCKtu.
sw wm i-ia-a r .. m rr
fWa mm CKtwt.
ktra Pora Oordoo llnti f ldnga.
soar CrawfordsvUtc. Ind..' wUI aoaa
make an rihlbtUoa be.ora a Jury ut her
remarkable deiterlty la picking rhkk
eas, In order to wla a lawsuit growing
out of ber recent a.otnnt aad assr
rtage. Home uoatbe ago ktai Good
man, a tkrlfty Hebrew, settled la La
doga, and began a whoksale puwluy
buaiiMs, employing hia aistrr-In-law.
Miss Uura Gordon, as a chicken picker
la his slaughter-house. The IlltW lady
waa very pretty and an espert picker,
becoming. In spits of her work, the
belle of the town. fla sou fell la love
with her most ardeut admirer. Thomas
ftrann. owner of a sawmill, and mar
ried him. In spite of the protest of her
relative. Her elopement can4 quite
a sensation and her brother came poet
haste from Chicago, offering her $Z.M.
It te suld. If she wuald renouuee the i
marring. She Indignantly refiu.ee ana
was renoonced by ber family. The bll-
toroesa thna eagendered gTew apace
and finally Mrs. Urann sd Goodman
for $60 alleged to be due her for pU -Ing
chickens, at 1 cent each. In Good
man's poultry-bowse. The trial ol the
cause was a most eieMJng one. as both
factions were Intensely bitter. The
Jury, however, disagreed, some of the
Jurors not believing It possible for ths
plaintiff to pick 6.000 fowl In the short
time In which the oompliUnaut allege
he did. Mrs. Brann at once I Misted
that the court set the cause down for
an Immediate rohearlcg and spiritedly
declared that at the next trial she
wonld remove all possibility of sunk a
handicapping doubt. She has arranged
with the court that at ths nest trial
the Jury shall go with her to a local
poultry-house and witness a practiced
demonstration of her ability as a chick
en picker. She proposes to have twelve
hens killed before the Jury and to
dress them while they wait. Mrs.
Bruin's friends say abe can pluck the
feathers from fowls almost as fast as
they can be killed and brought to ber.
HOW BARNUM WON HIS WIFE.
He Kmw I low Haaabar Mar, as Wall
as the raMle.
Barnum was mayor of Bridgeport
and a widower. He was lonesome and
his beautiful home, Waldemere, on the
shore of Long Island sound, waa not
much visited, except by sightseers,
says an exchange. He became Interest
ed In the beautiful daughter of John
Fish of Soutbport, England, a retired
manufacturer and solicited her band In
marriage. Barnum waa well advanced
In years and knew his fame as tbe
prince of showmen was not sufficient
to win the prize. In fact, the fame
might hurt his suit rather than help
it, for Miss Fish greatly disliked the
notoriety attached to the "greatest
show on earth," and after she had
marrted Its owner always managed to
hold herself aloof from the publicity
her husband loved so well. But the
old showman's knowledge of the Eng
lish love for celebrity led him to play
a winning card. He had his photo
graph taken with Waldemere as a
background. The picture represented
him seated In a showy landau, har
nessed to four beautiful black horses,
his coachman on the box and two
footmen behind. Under the photo
graph were the words, "Lord mayor
of Bridgeport." A copy of this picture
was forwarded to Miss Fish and Bar
num always thought it "did the busi
ness. " At all events, it was not long
after Miss Flab received the picture
that she became bis wife.
TITLES IN JOB LOTS.
Itallaa rarllaaaaat May
aba a Maa a
rrlBM hf M.OOO.
From the Troy, N. Y., Times: Here
tofore American girls have found It a
comparatively simple matter to buy
tltlee, but the American men have
been compelled to remain plain, un
adorned citlsens, wKbout handles to
their names. All this Is to be changed
If a bill which the Italian government
proposes to submit to parliament be
comes a law. According to the provi
sions of this bill any one desiring to
become a prince may secure that title
by planking down $8,000. Five thou
sand dollars will purchase the title of
marquis, $4,000 the title of count, while
titles of baron will be sold in job lota
at $1,000 each. Here is an opportunity
tor that class of Americans who pine
for the mark of nobility. Perhaps,
however. It they wait a little longer
other European governments In strait
ened circumstances ' will enter into
competition with Italy and tltlea will
be sold on bargain counters at big de
partment stores.
He Kaew It.
It is one mark of a quack, whatever
school he may belong to, that he never
admits his own Ignorance. A "hedge
doctor," a kind of quack In Ireland,
was being examined at an Inquest on
his treatment of a patient who had
died. "I gave him Ipecacuanha," he
said. "You might just ss well have
given him the aurora borealls," said tha
coroner. "Indade, yer honor, and that's
just what I should have given him next
If he hadn't died." Hospital Gatetts
Berlla's Divorce Beaord. '
A statistical tab's giving the number
of divorces In Germany during the
last twelve years baa revealed the fact
that Berlin, of all ths cities of Europe,
can boast th greatest number of di
vorces. Even In America its recort Is
only beaten In Utah and a few west
ern states. In Berlin thirty-two di
vorces are granted tor every thousand
marriages. After Berlin oomas Ham
burg, wtth twenty-eevsa, while Paris
Is tar behind with only twenty -on
A Biylmlwa
The American Mu:uai of Na:aial
Hiuuy Is souo to begin a systematic
eiplurstioa of the coasts of A.a and
Nurth America from the A moor rlvtr
.n Asia to the Columbia river oa our
rontinruL The objn t Is to study the
tarloas pe plea loliajUiug theae re
gions Id order to settle. If pokaible, tbe
question w bet ber Annua once iro.a.d
to America by of Kamchatka and
the Aleutian Islands. Among the prin
cipal thlaga studied will be tbe vari
ous languages now spoken In north
eastern Asia and northwestern Ameri
ca, and siune Idea of the extent of this
uubjwt may be obtained from the al
leged fact that "between the Colum
bia river and Bering Strait ten lan
guage are found that are fundament
ally distinct, and these languages have
thirty-seven dialects, which are mutu
ally unintelligible." On the Asiatic
side. It sppesrs, the confusion of ton
gum Is not quite so great, although the
asm ber of distinct languages epoka
there Is seven, and the number of mu
tually unintelligible dialects ten. The
eiplorstlons are to cover a period of
six years, and the money has been fur
nished by a wealthy New Yorker, Mr.
Morris K. Jessup Youth's Companion.
Take Toar
Prof. Harry Thurston Peck, in The
Bookman. In describing what the
stranger may see in Liverpool If he
baa the quick eyes of Prof. Peck
notes a curious Instance of church riv
slry. Something of tbe sort may be
observed In other parts of the world,
though usually leas frank In methods.
"The stranger." writes Prof. Peck,
"will is pleased to observe near the
Prince's Park two small dissenting
chapels that are evidently rivals In the
work of saving souls, for each has a
large tin sign Inviting spiritual
custom. Both salute the wayfarer with
'Welcome All!' but one describes Its
exercises alllteratiyely as 'Brief, Bright
and Brotherly, while the other, with
perhaps a profoumler psychological in
sight into human nature, says nothing
about the brightness or the brotherll
nees, but gets down to a definite basis
on the question of brevity In announc
ing (as though It were a surgical oper
ation) that It Is 'All Over In One Hour,"
adding also, still more reassuring. 'Ser
mon Positively Only Fifteen Min
utes.' "
Mlavery ea British Soil.
A form of slavery has received the
official sanction of the British govern
ment. When last year the 200,000 in
habitants of South Africa known as
the Bechuana were disposed of 200,000
square miles of territory, the govern
ment did not know what to do with the
natives. It was therefore decided to
open a slave mart, and the Cape Times
tells of the prices tor which the blacks
were sold. The natives were brought
to Cape Town in batches of some 200
at a time and sold for periods of five
years to those who wished cheap la
bor. Able-bodied men were sold for
ten-shillings a month, and youths and
women for seven and six pence a
month ($2.50 per month for men and
11.87 for the youths and women).
This money Is paid to the government
Although this form has existed but
three months some cases of gross
cruelty hsve been reported. The New
Time.
Had Hosaands to Born.
Two Virginia old ladles, Mrs. Betsy
and Miss Jane, one a widow who had
been blessed with two husband, and
the other withering on the virgin
stem, were talking thlngB over, writes
correspondent of the New York
Press. Jane asked Betsy where she
burled her two hasbands. "Why,
Jane," was her reply, "I didn't bury
them at all. The first wanted to be
cremated, and I did It for him, and
when the second died I didn't want to
show , partiality, so I cremated him.
too." "M7, Betsy, isn't tt too bad! I
haven't had any husband at all, while
you have had 'em to burn."
Japaa's rinaaeea.
Great navies cost money. It has
been said by an English writer that
England has no vessel In eastern wa
ters that could stand up against any one
of the three Japanese battleships.
while the entire fleets of Russia and
Germany In tbe Orient could be easily
destroyed by Japan. The increase of
Japan's navy has been marvelous, but
It has brought an increase in taxes,
The land tax has been increased from
21,500,000 yen to 39,000,000 yen, the tax
on sakl has been increased 40 per cent,
and the public debt Is rapidly growing.
Clmdy Philosophy.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A young
colored philosopher waa employed In
one of our atores at a salary of $3.50
a week He told his employer one
morning that he was going to leave,
having got a better place. "A better
nlace?" echoed his employer; "what
wages are you to get?" "Three dol
lars a week." "But that Is not s
much as you get hers." "No," said ths
boy; "but then It's better to do leas and
not get so much than to do more and
not get enough."
Moral: Shun SoUar Water.
Frank Klopfensteln, a Gallon, Ohio,
barkeep, was handling a bottle of selt-
ser the other day when it exploded.
His wrist was so badly cut that only
nrompt attention saved him from
bleeding to death.
stnaws HW BaalaaM.
Chicago Record: "It does Aunt Lu-
clnda so much good to go to a new
doctor." "Why?" "H always hunts
np a new disease for hsr."
TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE.
Uao WUI IW Mtt ay tfc
Aamrica urn Slay S. 1
The people of America will have
very unusual chance to aee a total solar
eclipse right here at home on May 28.
1190. Astronomers are even now study
log the meteorological tables for past
years In order to find tbe localities
promising clearest skies, says the
Washington Post Tbe line of totality
first touches the continent on tbe Paci
fic coast In Mexico, north of Cape Co
rientes. pursuing a northeast cours.
leaving Mexico at the mouth of the ..io
Grande, crossing the gulf of Mexico and
entering the United States at Atrhata
:ya bay, Louisiana The breadth of
tbe line Is about fifty miles. The eclipse
will be total at New Orleans at about
8 22 a. m., Washington time. The
eclipse will be vuslbl in Macon. Ral
eigh. Norfolk and intermediate and
neighboring points. Crossing tbe ocean
the land first to'icbed la near the port
of Coimbra. Spain, passing southeast
across southern Euro; and the Medi
terranean sea. Thus all the astrono
mers In both hemispheres will be with
in easy distance and with every facil
ity for using any amount of instrumen
tal equipment The greatest duration
will be two minutes, nine seconls.
about tbe middle of tbe Atlantic oc--i.
STORY ETTES.
A young fellow who drank much
more than was good for bim was ad
vised by his friends to take the goid
cure, but be refused. "But," protested
bis friends, "your physician says that
if you keep on drinking you will sure
ly soon go blind. Now. the question
is simply this: I)o you prefer being
cured of the drink habit and retaining
your eyesight, or do you prefer to keep
on drinking and go blind?" The young
man paced the floor for some time and
was in a brown study. Finally be
turned to his friends and, with a re
signed expression of countenance, re
piled: "Well, I guess I've seen about
everything."
When Meade's army was marching
out of the Wilderness, a drum corps in
passing Grant's headquarters caught
sight of the chief and at once struck
up a tben popular negro camp meeting
air. Every one began to laugh.
"What's the fun?" Inquired the gen
eral. "Why." was the reply, "they are
playing, 'Ain't I Glad to Get Out ob ds
Wilderness!' " Tbe general smiled at
the ready wit of the musicians and
said, "Well, with me a musical Joke
always requires explanation. I know
only two tunes one Is 'Yankee Doodle'
and tbe other Isn't."
Mr. Justice Maule once went on cir
cuit wth Judge Coleridge in a part of
the country where the high sheriff was
a shy and modest, man and very much
alarmed at having to entertain his cyn
ical lordship. Coming home in his
coach with the two judges, he thought
It his duty to make conversation for
them. He observed that he hoped
there would be better weather, as the
moon had changed. "And are you
such a tool, Mr. Jones, as to imagine
that the moon has an effect on the
weather?" said Maule. "Really, Bro
ther Maule," said Coleridge, who was
politeness Itself, "you are very hard
upon our friend. For my part, I think
the moon has a considerable effect up
on It" "Then," said Maule, "you are
as great a fool as Jones Is." After
which conversation In the sheriff's car
riage languished.
Hindu rint Steps In EngiUn.
A native has been caught at Calcutta
scaling th9 wall of the premises into
the compound of No. 3, Chowringhl,
dressed in a complete suit of European
clothes. The man had, on the previous
evening, concealed himself Inside a
shop, and had employed his time till
morning in fitting himself with a com
plete suit of clothes, Including a white
shirt, with studs and links, a red tie,
carefully put on, black socks, a pair
of boots, a watch and chain, handker
chief, and even a pocket knife, with
a straw hat and stick. He even went
the length of writing his name inside
the bat On being caught he said he
wanted to learn English, and as a pre
liminary step thought it best to dress
blmself In sahib's clothes. Bombay
(India) Advocate.
Greedy little Flan.
The little fish known as miller's
thumb the fresh water sculpin is
one of the natural checks on the over
production of trout and salmon. It
eats the eggs and the young fish. It
is found in all trout waters as fast as
examined. It is very destructive. At
an experiment once made in the aquar
lum of the United States fish commis
sion In Washington a miller's thumb
about four and one-half inches long
ate at a single meal, and all within a
minute or two, twenty-one little trout.
each from three-auarters to an inch
In length.
Asking Too Hmh
"We are mad," exclaims the editor of
a paper in the backwoods of Tennes
see. "Darn the people! Bow can they
expect us, out here, twelve miles trom
a railroad, twenty-nve miles from a
river, millions of miles from heaven,
about two miles from the devil and
about 200 yards from a whisky shop, to
get out a lively newspaper!"- New
York Tribune.
A Bnddwa galsara.
Miss Tommey "I red the other day
that an eminent scientist says 'kissing
Is a cure for dyspepsia." Mr. Spatts
"Isn't it odd, Mlsa Tommey. that I have
an attack of dyspepsia at this very mo
ment?" Harper's Bazar.
It Is said that Indians never kiss each
other. Judging from those we bar
sees, ws don't blame them.
Magnificent Aggregation of Rewards
rnttartad by tba t)arriM
870,000-
IN
-To-
ws
8100,000
A h.lM riaorttla.- C4ar.u..
. ... ., 7 ..a Vn.ai.tia
tiMra-FHa T SW-Seiaiaf mtmnm, Sataias
ws Mia-aris sviav reasoa a rioa. f g??'ZmZit . .'w
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V4k.vsf amsfltaV
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tau.s t 1 1 U-rrot trt-e Id ttis grttlMa
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READ Oil:
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VL " Xu. ahwt lltad bu.jrx. Mil; Miadlaf kua.'
areorwlnM that h... aMtlMT h owoorluaitr to arwirk hutorj l, th. r-mr. " "'
kail7.7ll IM ..I IW'i. .. ! whK-k aop-ar. wjr wauo lo abun uutaUui -a.a.la. McOUa. -a-CwMW.
I'bumaa. Buraalda. HuaaMBia, L..II1I Loa.PlcaaU. all. Sanaa.
l wa aaiiiK ai ul Ira au in tuinot iwrntu CnKlil. Im
VUU1T Tfl WW riDCTl tufuriwitlUiaun.l-rof Ui.qialu. lawhlra uaiu-...r. Willi l
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wh II i.VtiUiuin. O.Jd Liomir anl Wid. Oold Uandlarsd with otuct 1, an tlr.iit S.hk1 0.l f illod Scarf ria.
Ill iMtec (UataV or Orol'.l. WUh Ouio. Hua.i.n Bubr IHayuod or tmrnld Hloa.. la . iflany
r-u,, J yonH" iiTTIi- l-o rr.l lurfr-'O lINk i 00. or mora. V, . rwaraaua th prt. to a. J -l
tT! ik .i. li I iM it tmA Br ml
PRi7Fft FnR PhFM8 OR SKETCHES.
trtuai wt"c.iiii.mmtul II work. W.m.k.lhi..llo d...f I Utoat fra ol lh In!-
IKl la K.MI IO in iT"Tl - Mm Nu.tD T TU1 kill UV TUB I HIUIUIll.
puUwlKii to UM lama BUM. -
Qf Eft Ann If I ffini n AS
Of HIIIIWU III llll II W.
V II J U UaBB III UU mmmS lrd,.,
worlA. To do thu a tntt krw th. ti of
7( IIIKII, Of mi'ICIM.nil 7 ub-rnbfr mrriim" thrtr oHulo or nu wot iar
irmiMlion.
OLD. Tow
Ik the futun
UrsYUO JtU worm iaaviu(. , i - m a.
HOW TO GET A PRIZE EACH MONTH : "
I. aorr. .krtch. pn., .nrM, --SPif i JTX S JZZXZZZ. "iEm W
Vkl?AU . w. I lidufrululld W4U OHAiiu
St'n n'B77coMnHnbc Vflll Will
WE PAY PRIZES BEFORE TUU WIN
"'Vl "JV.? 'S." V'A ZJ.Zii,;
7 ..V "la . .... .J uu . . -.1 t ui'Attlr ..ul
Utotn:. tV caa top ibtm If .l,.larl., and D.
IJomii I UU. prove that w. kNl lV IOU I " r in IAM
. i . t.. - Miillinr Trl
ALL HAVE AN tUUAL UnANUt IU
Th.'rt.4 h no bettrr-chanof tha.
rarrfuHT.Mt rraM )OU
A niTti lavr ill h a aa w anucL vj
and MlnliUr
xttl0 of ir m1s you esvo hw arnt yt
CKKAM PI UI-ISHING t'OMPANVi ,
ith a
TLtc
Of Um
r.r - T.'T " . .. ;.....a. . uvurii itifikiinattoa
. . I . .1... .ka AM
thunlT, an nrm.n.llr In."" to us aoa irval UK; ar.
";" STlUMA.l!.
Sabi Ik AUABt, P. O. M.
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