THE AMERICAN
3
CONFESSED SHE DIDN'T DO IT. I WHEN THE "PROFESH" MEET.
Tfc lit t la tilri Ilutlnlrd th Ks
prtatius f Her .Hty M !.
Something dreadful hmi h-ipeuf J at
the Queeusville dtsirkt stbuol, says
Philadelphia Time. May Greene, the
belle of the village, h.iJ snutRsled her
Sunday gash out of the bureau, and,
"unbeknownst to her nwher." had
worn it to school. Her triumph, how
ever, was short-lived. She had hung
the sash moi! careful!? on a hook in the
cloakroom while she ran out at recess
for a good romp. On her return she
was dismayed to find that it had been
cut In two pieces. Every scholar was
carefully questioned, but no one, of
course, knew anything abeut it. The
teacher accordingly announced that
when the afternoon session should open
She would lay all lessons aside and hold
a court of investigation. She herself
would be the judge. May Greene 6hould
be the plaintiff and every scholar in
turn should come up Into a witness
box. rigged up for the occasion, and tell
exactly what he knew about the mat
ter. She also said that If anyone would
confess bia wrong-doing before the
opening of court he would be pardoned
and all proceedings stopped. Two guilty
boys, discarded beaux of the gay
coquette, were now pale with dismay.
Tbey had told untruths when privately
questioned and now they feared they
would not be able to brave them out
before the awful court ordeal es
pecially since It had begun to be whis
pered around that tbey knew more of
the matter than had at first appeared.
They therefore hit upon the following
expedient: The youngest child in the
school, little Annie Cork, was the pet
of the county. If she now could be In
duced to confess to the cutting of the
Bash surely she would be pardoned on
account of her popularity. She was
therefore beset by the guilty young
sters, who, by dint of dire threats and
large bribes, and by urging confession
upon her as a duty, finally secured her
bewildered consent "to confess." When
the afternoon bell rang the scholars
came In promptly, looking askance at
the awful witness box and at the muti
lated finery floating out from the teach
er's desk. The judge was about to open
court, when in came the criminals
triumphantly leading the Innocent
child between them. They informed
the judge that Annie Cork had come to
confess, and, officiously placing her on
the witness stand, they withdrew to
their seats. The child's helpless atti
tude was too much for the tender
hearted judge, who took .her by the
hand and said gently, "Well, dear,
have you really come to confess?"
"Yeth," she faltered, oppressed by
the earnest stillness In the room; but,
gaining courage from the judge's kind
ly manner, "Yeth, teacher I'th come to
confeth I'th come to confeth that I
didn't do It."
A Religion Colony.
The World's Christian Co-operative
Colony has been incorporated. The
purpose and objects detailed in the
articles of incorporation show that "it
won't do a thing." It will engage in
milling, mining, argriculture, horticul
ture, gardening, stock and poultry rais
ing, deal in real and personal property,
do a wholesale and retail commission
business, fruit growing, canning, pre
serving and pickling products, con
tracting and building wharfing, dock
ing and dyking, constructing, Improv
ing, building, equipping and managing
railroads and other means of trans
portation; slaughtering, marketing,
baking, cooling, packing and launder
ing; operating eating houses, and in
fact engaging in all branches of busi
ness and trade. It will issue checks in
payment of labor and for goods de
posited, redeemable in real and per
sonal property. The principal place of
business is San Francisco, and it is de
signed to exist fifty years. Eleven
trustees or directors shall be elected for
a term of one year. The trustees for
the first year are G. W. Wilderman, D.
McRea, Thomas J. Weaver, J. Knud
son, Lewis W. Spencer, N. C. Ander
son, Mrs. A. Anderson, Mrs. R. Kin
cald, II. G. Derbaum, John D. More
land and C. K. Welch. The capital
stock is $50,000,000, divided into 500,000
certificates of membership at ?100 each,
and each holder can draw dividends
upon one certificate only, tne dividends
to be 90 per cent of the net earnings.
No certificate holder shall have more
than one vote, and no proxies will be
allowed. All money and property real
ized from the sale of certificates shall
constitute an investment and expense
fund. Ten of the trustees subscribed
$100 each, and G. W. Wilderman 20,000
acres of land.
Life-Saving Sleeve.
A new use has been found for balloon
Bleeves, through the ingenuity of an
enterprising inventor, which promises
great results.
"The 'bustle' inside the Bleeves has
up to date been adopted somewhat
warily, as hardly filling a long-felt
want. But now a silk life-preserver
Is to take its place, which can be in
flated at will, and enables the wearer
to float In perfect ease on the water.
Sailing parties made up largely of
ladies will leave the man at the helm
very much at ease, with each female
member of the company transformed
Into an animated life-preserver; for if
ones moves carelessly on the deck and
gets blown overboard there is no dan
ger of a tragedy. The balloons will also
add no little to the sail area in fair
winds. The life-saving sleeve will
doubtless prove a big thing, and all
that it is puffed up to be.
Horse Shoe Made from Paper.
A German veterinary surgeon has
discovered a method by which horse
shoes can be successfully manufactured
from paper. The paper Is Impregnated
with turpentine to make It waterproof.
The Inventor claims that a horse wear
ing these shoes cannot slip on greasy
roads.
Ai I n hang of Imrrmlnf I'rrsoa&l
An actorlne and an av;oret: met on
Main street and the following fw.-t-tiasa
conversation rusued:
"Hullo, Gladys!"
"Howdy. Lionel!"
"Ain't Keen you in a year, dear girl."
"Nop. Ueen south with a repertoire
company. Hall show; three-night
stands: variety performance after the
drama."
"What plays were you doing?"
"You -guess."
"Tncle Tom's Cabin?'"
"Right."
" 'Ten Nights In a Bar Room? "
"Correct."
"The Hidden Hand?"
"You're off there. Tbe jaspers pre
fer 'East Lynne' now."
"What did you hold down, Gladys?
"Little Eva in 'Tom. Willie, the min
ister's Bon. in 'Ten Nights;' Lady Isa
bel and Madame Vine in 'East Lynne,'
and, of course, I did my skipping rope
turn in the concert."
"Gad! You always were one of the
most versatile women in the profes
sion. It reminds me of the time when
I was out with a snap of that kind and
had to play Richelieu and Humpty
Dumpty on alternate nights."
"What are you doing now, Lionel?
You look prosperous."
"Oh, I'm In great luck this summer.
I'm tending soda-fountain In a drug
store up the street. I expect to play
leads with Henry Irving next season,
though."
"Yes, you do! Tell that to the Sal
vation Marines. I'm eating, myself,
though. That Is, I eat when tne guests
at the dairy kitchen, where I sling hash,
get through. I've written to Sam Jack,
and I think I'll be leading grand
marches again next season, or perhaps
Kiralfy will let me be Stalacta, the
Fairy Queen. Well, so long, Lionel! If
you get strapped before you leave town
come up to my tunnel and I'll stake you
to a meal ticket."
"Ta-ta. Gladys! Remember that
you're on the free list at my soda foun
tain for the rest of the summer." Ex.
THE NEW DAILY SCHEME.
I Tbe friends at Omaha are trjlc? to
raii-e sufficient capital to start
i American daily. Tbey already have
j a fair .tart, but desire the areU'ance of
riem? evervwberti In the United
i Siate. Can you take one or mure
J share,! nani untof true AtucricacUm?
jTbU U their p'an:
! Io aner to repeaU d requeU we
have flcally contented to undertake the
ttu-k of starling a Daily American In
Oiuala. Thin would If an ta thing
to do if i ople w le to act ss tbey talk.
Yet It will not be Inij ibl, even If
they co rot, for tlere are thousands of
ptitr!oU'Wl o are arxlous to bave the
niw anxious lo give tbe I'rotet-tant
tireschers ss fair a fcearlwr as Is ae
on! i d U I D 1 1 liftr ud itn
lecturers of the Ji tuit Sherman stamp
who will it Dond to rur call for sub
scribers for U ck to enable us to estab
lish a Daily American.
We bave consulted with our friends,
and they bave suggested this plan:
Increase the capital stock of the
American Publishing Co. to tK0,000.
Divide into lO.OtK) hares of 115 each.
Begin business when flOO.OoO bas
been subscribt d
Each fcUckholdtr must be a sub
scriber. t Subscription price of tbe puprr, first
year, will le 110;. 18 tbe second, and
whatever tbe directors decide there
after. Tbe manage mentof the company will
be placed In tbe hands of a board of
directors, who will be elected from
moDg the stockholders by a majority
of the steefc- represented at the regular
annual meeting.
Tbe Indebtedness will not be over 40
er cent, of tbe capital stock at any
Ime.
If you want to helpestabllsb a Daily
American, fill out and return to this
office the following blank, keeping this
statement as our part of tbe contract:
Hair Ropes and Snakes.
"There is a common superstition
among western cowboys that a rattle
snake will not cross a hair rope," said
Superintendent Brown, of the Phila
delphia Zoological Garden, the other
day. "The cowboy don't mind a rattle
snake much, anyhow, but when be bas
to spend the night in the open, he fre
quently takes the precaution of encir
cling his camp with a rope of this de
scription, and then goes to sleep with a
quiet mind. I often wondered if thero
was any truth In this belief, but never
happened to have a hair rope and rat
tlesnake handy to test It, until one day
when a friend of mine came from the
West, and we began talking on the sub
ject He had a hair rope with him,
and we decided to try it on the snakes
in the reptile house. We shut the
building up, made a circle with the
rope on the floor, and put seven differ
ent species of snakes Inside of tlfe rope
circle. Every single one crawled over it
as if it wasn't there, and since then my
friend has lost faith In its protective
powers." An old campaigner says to a
reporter for the Inter-Ocean that this
was a poor test. "A hair lariat must be
made purposely for this use, and the
sharp projections of the butts of the
hair be made prominent. A hair lariat
can be, and is, made as smooth as any
other lariat. They are strong, but use
less as a protector from snakes. I have
used one in places where snakes were so
thick that half a dozen could be run
from under a single bush, and never
knew one to crawl over or Inside of my
bed."
An Annual Drank.
The oldest temperance society In tht
world is the abstaining commune in
Achlyka, in Siberia, all of whose mem
bers are strict teetotalers every day in
the year except one. Regularly on the
first day of September, year after
year, all the adult members of the com
mune assemble In the parish church
and e....." one takes a solemn vow be
fore the altar to drink no wine, beer or
spirits "from the morrow" of the fol
lowing day for the whole year. "The
clause "from the morrow" is intro
duced in order to give them a reward
for their virtue In the shape of a whole
day of drunken carnival. As soon as
they leave the church they begin to In
dulge in a horrible bacchanalian drink
ing, which continues throughout the
day, until neither man nor woman in
the village is sober. This Is naturally
followed by considerable physical suf
fering and then mental remorse, where
upon the penitent parish enters upon
Its twelve-month of model sobriety, and
aH live like the Rechabltes. Some stu
dents Imagine that this queer proceed
ing may be a prehistoric tribal custom.
Landmark Gone.
The granite monument marking the
Mexican boundary line at Tia Juana,
In San Diego county, was upset last
January by a flood, shortly after It was
erected by the international boundary
commission. This elaborate eaaft fell
Into quicksand. Strenuous efforts were
made to recover it. The sand was
probed for a depth of twenty-five feet,
but no trace of the lost monument could
be found. It has been necessary to buy
a new site for another monument, lOOx
100 feet, and erect a second shaft
thereon.
1'olson In a l ove Potion.
Lena Dahl of Westfield, S. D., put a
love potion In a bottle of cold coffee be
longing to Henry Halseth, with whom
she was in love but who did not return
her affections. The charm contained
strychnine and Halseth nearly died.
The fortune teller who sold the charm
to the girl has vamoosed to avoid ar
rest and Miss Dahl has not yet been
taken up by the man she loves.
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blank for our Information, as we.ido not
want to have a Romanist associated
with us In business:
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The followinginumbers of shares have
I.ito tkl-PS.
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up a I'Strlutie daily aik-r in Omaha:
Oumtis.. Neli...
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ttlnliT. Neh
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MiiiueNiHKiii Minn....
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There are to be 10,(MKI .bare. J-Jich
share U 11.), ptyaMo win n tHXI.tXK) has
Nh-o MitiM-ritN U. 1 be cMpital stcK'k I
to lie I L'rtHkHi. Hnw oiany harvs will
you want? Lrt us have a daily.
r-TAT or ( mo, 'itt or Toi.kihi. i
I.i i 'i tv
Kkask J IiiknIlT uinkt's onth Hint li Is
tbe Minor uitrim-r of ilii tlrin of K. J.
mknsv & Co.. UoliK buolnt h In I he t'lljr nf
loiiMio. uiiniy sun mho nror-iniil. itiul Mini
mil llrm ii. y I In- sum of UNK III N-
1HKI I III LA (if fur es h hiiiI evi-ry ess of
( ATAKHll ilisl csnnol lw cured liy I lit- use of
Hai l s i atakuh l i hk
HUXK J. CIIKNKY.
Haorn lo before me sinl sulwrllx-d In my
presence I Ills Bib Uuy of Ih-ii-inlH-r. A. ll. IsmI
il,-A t A. W il.KAWiN.
lPr Aljf Notary I'ulillc.
Hall's ('Hlsrrli Ture Is taken Internally
anil arts illrertl on (be bUssI and murium
kurfsti-' s of tbtt system, Ci-ad for tentlmou-
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K. J. t'HFNEY CO.. I'rous . Toledo. O
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CHKMIO. ILL.
A Visit of Jesus Christ
TO
I'OPB l'l US IX.
One of VICTOR HUOO'B wlttliwt and most
sarcastic poems, translated I rum tbe
. French by
GHASR ROYS,
WASHINGTON, O. O
631 F Strsst,
Christ takes a look Into the Vatican; con
verses with one of tbe pope's guarda and t
cardinal.
Hlnitle. copy If C
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The life of Victor II'ikoi The Canon Laws and
their source j A. P. A. Principles from auth
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I y the French Koman Catholic, hlilorlai,,
LauiHrtlne; Ttie Marriage Contract, Hint
must be signed by a Protestant lo obtain
Koman Catholic bride, with cabinet 4l
half-tone ulcture of the author.
A. P, A. SONGSTER.
Only One in Existence.
REV. O. E. MURRAY, A. M. 8. D.
The best collection of Patriotic Music eiti
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The Roman Papacy
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THE PRIEST,
THE WOMAN,
4 WO
TBI
CONFESSIONAL.
BT REV. OHA8. CHINIQDT.
This work deals entirely with the practice!
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Fifty Years -wmi-Chureh
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its secret workings, written bvone whnougt,'
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Maria Monk
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