"THE
AMERICAN
A PAINFUL SITUATION.
Am It Wm Oaly Bolt! by tho tmrt
Arttoa f tho Lailt- Bathvr.
Cleveland World: mere vai an ex
eHncly thrilling eene at Itoulevard
bathing beach Thursday evening. It
waa yet daylight, and the weather being
cool, many wandered about the bea.-h
or lounged on the pavilion, hesitating
about taking a dip. There were two
persona In the water, a young man and
a young lady companion, and of course
the watchers, having nothing else to do.
kept them constantly in Bight. What
I d time those two young people
uad in the water! They acted as
though they were sole proprietor! of
the whole chain of great lakes and
evenbody envied them. Suddenly the
young man dropped Into the water and
called to his lady companion. The ex
citement In the pavilion was Intense.
Had x been seized with cramps? No,
for the young lady, after a brief confer
ence with her submereged male friend,
ran to the shore, across the sand as
fast as her bebloomered legs could carry
her, up the stairs and Into her dressing
room. The situation became absolute
ly painful, for only the young man's
head could be seen peeping from the
wavy depths, and he was evidently
waiting Cut for what?
In another moment the young lady
tripped down the steps, across the
beach and into the water. She car
ried something bright red in her hands,
waded over to the spot where the young
man was quietly waiting, and handed
it to him. "What was it?" everybody
aid.
The next move was the young lady's
sudden disappearance from the billows,
and as fast as she could she ran into
her dressing room.
And the young man, where was he?
In two minutes from the time of the
girl's disappearance a male figure ele
gantly attired in a red undershirt cau
tiously emerged from the water, made
a break across the sand, up the stair
way into the dressing room, and was
soon lost to view,
"Wonder what the trouble was?"
everybody asked, and the curtain
dropped.
Worse Than JalL
A slender little man with his hat
pulled over his eyes and his hands
burled in his trousers' pockets hovered
uneasily about the door of the South
ern police station yesterday. His de
jected countenance and nervous man
ner attracted the sergeant's attention.
"Want to see any one?" inquired the
officer.
"No one in particular," and the little
man glanced uneasily up and down the
atreet.
"Well, what are you hanging around
here for ?"
"I thought mabbe you could give me
some information."
"Well, what is it?"
"Is it a crime to crawl in through a
window and steal a watch?"
"Well, I should say so. That's bur
glary." The little man's worst fears were
confirmed.
"What is it the state prison?"
"That's what. Was it in the day or
night?" inquired the acute police
officer.
"Night."
"That's burglary in the first degree."
"That's tough, but I guess I'll have
to stand it," and the little man wiped
the cold perspiration off his face.
"Have you been burgling?"
"What kind of beds do burglars get
In here?"
"A blanket or two on the floor."
"Don't they get anything better when
they surrender themselves and con
fess?" "Yes; they might get another
blanket"
"Well, take me in. It's tough, but I
guess I'll have to stand it."
"You don't mean to say that you have
committed burglary?"
"Yes; give me two blankets and lock
me up."
"Tell me about it."
"Well, it was this way. I was
strapped and the old lady wouldn't give
me a cent out of the stocking that she
keeps hid, and she said she'd break my
neck if I soaked anything. After she
got asleep last night I slipped outside,
pried open the back window, crawled in
and stole my watch and chain. Then I
took it down on Third street, and
soaked it for $3. Give me good, thick
blankets will you, sergeant?"
"But a man has a right to break into
his own house and steal his own
watch."
"He has?" and the little man Jumped
up in the air and cracked his heels to
gether. "That takes a load off my
mind," and he seized the officer's hand.
"But your wife was up here and re
ported it awhile ago, and I'll have to tell
her the truth."
"Lock me up, sergeant. I'll take
only one blanket if you'll lock me up,
now."
The last seen of the little man he
was on his way to the wharf to drown
himself.
JTIn Historical Knowledge
One day recently in a Dundee school
the teacher was examining the class
"How did Charles I. die?"
The boy paused for a moment, and
one of the other lads, by way of
prompting him, put his arm up to his
collar to signify decapitation. Boy No.
1 grasped, as he thought, his friend's
meaning, and exclaimed, to the great
amusement of the class: "Please, sir,
he died of cholera."
An Obliging Judge.
Judge Can you pay these fines and
costs, sir?
Prisoner Please, yer honor. If yer
give me time I kin.
Judge Yes, sir. Six months, at your
request. Texas Sittings.
HOT COBN1 HOT CORN!
How la Blrt and ( aok Ibu ftvtMa
abla lrgrttila.
Ia buying corn e!ect those ear that
are thickest and best filial. Test the
corn by piercing a kernel with lha
thumb nail. If the milk flows freely
it is in good condition. He sure the
husks are green and the corn white.
There are many ways of cooking corn,
but the most popular anj the best way
is to boil it, says Philadelphia Times.
To do this properly, remove the out
side busks, turn down the Inside ones,
leaving them on the ear, remove every
particle of silk and cut away any im
perfections from the ear; turn the in
side husks back, so that they com
pletely envelop the ear; tie them to
gether with a strip of the husk and lay
them In a large, clean agate kettle;
cover deeply with layers of the outside
husks, pour In enough cold water to
Just come to the edge of the corn,
but not to cover the layer of husks.
Now, cover the kettle with the lid,
stand It on the stove with a quick Are,
and after it comes to a boll let It boil
Just four minutes, then set It off the
stove where it will keep hot. Cover
a large platter with fresh green husks,
out-standing like a fringe. Lay a large
napkin in the center and, removing the
corn from the kettle, pile It on the nap
kin, then fold the four corners of the
napkin and serve.
Roast Corn. Remove the husks and
silks from each ear .and lay them in
front of a bright coal fire or under the
flame of a gas broiler; turn frequently
till each ear Is a rich brown all over;
roll In a napkin and serve at once
with plenty of fresh butter.
Corn Fritters. Grate the corn from
six ears Into a deep bowl; add to this
the yolks of three eggs; stir them well
with the grated corn; season with half
a teaspoonful of salt and a dash of red
V, 1 .. 1. f, ....... 1 .
to tl is add a pint of cream or rich
milk and enough flour to make a stiff
batter; beat the whites of the three
eggs to a froth and stir them very
quickly into a batter; have a kettle of
smoking hot fat ready, and with a
large spoon or ladle drop the fritters
into the fat one by one, and let them
fry until a light brown.
Why Farmers Are Not I'ronperons.
"Do you know why our farmers are
not more prosperous?" asked Jim Mc
Cue, the Marin county rancher, poli
tician, horse doctor and philosopher.
"Well, I'll tell you," he continued,
without waiting an answer. "It is be
cause the farmer, rancher and dairy
man thinks he must sell everything to
the commission merchant or the re
tailer. He drives into town with a
wagon load of butter and eggs or water
melons, sells them In ten minutes for
whatever the storekeeper will pay,
plays pedro the rest of the day and
goes home with a couple of plugs of
tobacco, a bottle of whisky and some
bad cigars. Then at the end of the year
he wonders why he has made nothing.
"Once a San Rafael butcher went to
a neighbor of mine to buy a steer.
" 'What do you want for him?" asked
the butcher. 1
" 'Oh, about $30.
" 'Beef Is worth only 4 cents on foot
now, and he won't weigh over 400
pounds. I'll give you $16 for him.'
"'AH right; take him.'
" 'I can't take him right now. Be
sides he's too poor to kill.'
" 'All right; leave him here till you
get ready to take him away.'
"The butcher left him till fall and
then he weighed about 700 pounds.
When he took him away, the farmer
said:
" 'When you kill that beef I'd like
to have a quarter.'
"'All right; I'll send It down.'
"A few days later the farmer stopped
In at the butcher's shop to settle up.
" 'Oh, yes; g'.ad to see you. Got your
bill all made,' said the butcher, and
he handed out this statement: 'Mr.
Farmer, creditor, by one 400-pound
steer, at 4 cents, $16; debtor, to one
hind quarter of beef, 185 pounds, at 10
cents, $18.50; balance, $2.50.'
"The farmer had given his beef and
$2.50 for a hind quarter rather than
put In a day slaughtering, and then he
wonders why there is no money in
farming. If he could Just raise a crop
of brains he would be all right."
How Many ! They Kat?
"Can you tell me," said Will to Bob,
"how many apples Adam and Eve ate
In the Garden of Eden?"
"That's a chestnut!" Bob answered.
"Eve ate one, and Adam ate, too; that
makes three."
"You don't add correctly, Bob. The
total Is 163."
"How do you make that out?"
"Why, as you said, Eve ate one (SI)
and Adam ate, too (82). Add 81 and
82 together and you get 163, don't you?"
Bob thought a moment and ex
claimed: "I guess they ate more, after all.
Eve ate for one (841), and Adam ate,
too (82); total, 923."
"Oh, I can do better than that." said
Will. "Eve, for one, ate one (4,181),
and Adam, too, ate one (281). That
makes a total of 4,362. Can you beat
that?"
"Yes, indeed! How is this? Eve ats
one, for one (8,141), and Adam ate .one,
too (812). That is a total of 8,953. Now
It's your turn."
"I'll quit," said Will. "They niusl
have eaten the whole crop."
Revival of the Minuet In London.
It looks as If the minuet is destined
for a time, at all events, to resume its
graceful sway in the ballrooms of Eu
rope. One or two attempted revival!
have been fairly successful during thi
London season.
THE NEW. DAILY SCHEME.
The friend at Omaha are Irving' to
rati sufficient capital to start an
American "daily. They already have
a fair start, but diire the assistance of
fiends everywhere In the United
Slate. Can you take one or more
shares, on account of true Americanism?
This Is their an:
In answer to repeated requests we
have finally concerted to undertake the
tak of startle? a Daily American in
Omaha. This would be an eay thing
to do If people were to act as they talk.
Yet It will not be Impossible, even if
they ao not, for there are thousands of
patrloU-wbo are anxious to have the
news anxious to give the Protestant
preachers as fair a hearing as Is ac-
oidtd to Ft nan irlttts ud itinerant
lecturers of the Jesuit Sherman stamp
who will rcsnond to our call for sub
scribers for stock to enable us-to estab
lish a Daily American.
We have consulted with our friends,
and they bave suggested this plan:
Increase the capital stock of tbe
American Publishing Co. to 1150,0(10.
Divide into 10.000 shares of 115 each
Begin business when ttl00,000 has
been subscribed
Each stockholder must be a sub
scriber. C Subscription price of the paper, first
year, will be tl0; t3 the second, and
whatever the directors decide there
after.
The management of the company will
be placed In the hands of a board of
directors, who will be elected from
among the stockholders by a majority
of the stock represented at tbe regular
annual meeting.
The Icdtbtcdnef" will not be over 40
erctct. of ibe cspital stock at any
lme.
If you f nt to helpestaMIrb a Daily
American, fill out and return to this
office the following blark. keeping this
statement as our part of the contract:
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blank for our information, as we,,do not
want to have a Rtmanist asEcciakd
with us in business:
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The followinginumber6'ofksbare8have
been spoken for in the acbeme to get
up a patriotic dally paper In Omaha:
Omnlia. Nfti ., t.tMaaiirra.
Chli'llKO. III. . vm
Kroauvlllv. Nib... It "
V litrrr. Neb ... 7
KiMiiie, la
Miniifi.ii! Minn t "
H..r.-n. .. N. t. ..."
KmiHMa Cliv. M J "
I'Hrainli. Vi yo 1
Marlnn. Ohln J
H Molm-H, la j M
There are to be 10.0IKI shares. Kach
share Is 115, piyaMo whin IIOD.IMK) has
ooeq sunwcriiN'u. i do capital t(K-lc Is
to be IIM.Oimi. How many shares will
you wanty Let us have a dally.
State or Ohio. Citt or Toi.kuo, i
!.! oim r. i
Vuntin J.( hknkt makp ohiIi that h In
tlii M-nlor imrlniT of lh tirm of K. J.
i II I M 1 IF., WfllllK I'llMllll'nn III 1 IIP t II J ll
Tiilrilu. I'oiint j ami Stair forvsulil. iiikI llmt
nlil nrni lll uny tlm Hum nf UN K III N-
1'ivr.ii I'tii.i.iii." rur t'ai'n ami evi'ry chhi tir
Catahkh that ranmit liecuri'il by the um uf
llALl. S I'ATAUHH 1 I KK
r K N K J. t'HKNKV.
Pworn to tvcfiire me ami NiilmcrllK'il In hit
prtMMiu- tlilHOth Oay of Iim ,-ii,U r A. 1 InkV.
)Kt I A. VV ISLKASiiN.
lP' ALf Notary I'ul.llc
Hall's Catarrh Cure In taken Internally
Uhll ,llHh.l..H tl.U U..4
Kurfiii-rs ot the nyatiiin. ftnil for ti'Mtnion-
min. iriw.
V.J I'll KM." V A r Pr.,... T..U.I,. II
t"Suld by UruKiilHin. 7.V
ASK FOR
Howard's Colk Cholera and
IHarrhu'u licmcdy.
Halt I.a Citt. t'tah, Auxuet 4, 1HV4.-I
wish to certify to the rxri-llence of Howard'
Colic. Cholera and Dlarrhiea liemedy. It
la tho tlncHt prepHrutlon I ever uited for
children for luiiimer complaint or cholera
Infantum. Just a few drops In water soon
relieves and cum the most Ntubborn cases,
it should be used by all mot hers.
MllH. HAH AH Wll.t.AHI).
Address: HOWARD MEDICINE CO..
ls:0 St. Mary's'A ve Omuha. Neb
C. B. PATRICK,
IHAI.KH IN
701 Grand Ave., near Roby.
All orders Droniotly delivered to any niirt
of the city. MmII orderH prompt ly attended to.
7'efcffiono tl'.
CAC MEDICAL 0
9 nw, 9or ana uncr Kcmniy. W
riLAt. KALO HEAD. SALT HMEUa AM
OLD AOBEA ll III J MILK UM A fAAAf MMAAAA.
$ 500"-" W I" Aft Al Abow AIIAWAN AM
1, S) ) C. A. C. MEDICAL
AOffVT WAHTF w AtAIT
C. A. C. MEDICAL CO.
CnKAUO. ILL.
A. P, A. SONGSTER,
Only One In Existence.
REV. O. . MURRAY, A. M. B. D.
Th fi,pi-tlf.n of Patriotic MuMc evti
offered to the public for Patriotic ntbi
lnga. homes, etioul and all who lov ovi
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Word and Mualo, IOO Page. 10 Sonai.
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yon mm t w THE AMERICAN
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DARK and
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JNo'h i H'ilits. Minnurn fallowness. FlPHh
worn and IMmules. lor snip bv hII Hrnt-
c1ks lniiiiiilMtM. Price SI. SO oer Bottle,
$500.00 WILL BE GIVEN
For an )m urntile cape of Hlck Heada
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A Valuable Book
Bt A LEADING AUTHOR.
TlieRoraan Papacy
BY SCOTT F. HEKSHEY, Ph. I).
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HOSTOX.
THE PRIEST,
. THE WOMAN,
iSS CONFESSIONAL.
BT rev. chas. chiniqut.
Thti work deala entirely with the practice!
of the Confessional box, and should be read
oy an rrotestanu well as by Roman Cath
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lonal are clearly poliitd out. Price, tn cloth
11.00. aent postpaid. Sold by
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or. Cor Kandclih and Clark. Chicago, III
Fifty Years
-IN THI
Church of Rome
Bt KKV. CHAS. CHINlyCY.
This Is a standard work on Romanism art
it secret orklnns. written bvone whoouRt I
to know. The story of the aasaiwlnatlou c
Abraham Lincoln by tl e paid tH)ls of ti
Roman Catholic Church Is told In a clear r,i
convlnctre? manner. It also nlati' iilxi,
facta nKrdtni( the practices of priest an.
nuns In the convents and monasteries. 1'
has Ki4 ISr'O. UHites, and Is sent postpaid oi
receipt of t-' 0". by AMERICAN PURLIbU
I0 CO., liiif. Howard Street. Omaha Neb.
or. Cor Clark and Randolph. Chicago. 111.
COAL
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Local, National and Social Interest.
Price 10c, Single Copy;"$l year, in Advance.
FOR SALE BY ALL FIRST-CLASS NEWSDEALERS.
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TRUTH STRANGER THAN FICTION
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THERE are but few books of this character in existence which have had a
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secret and diabolical practices In the Hotel Dieu, or Black Nunnery, of
Montreal, Canada, maintain an Interest stranger than any work of fiction
This book should be read by everyone. 3 Sold by tho
American Publishing Co.,
124 E. Randolph St., S07 Main St., 1615 Howard St.,
CHICAGO, ILL. KANSAS CITT, MO OMAHA, SEB
Chicago Tabernacle Talks,
By Kvangeust Geo. P. Hall,
ST5HESE are stenographic reports of actual Sermons preached
at "A Revival that Revived," in the Chicago Tabernacle,
and is excellent reading. Paper cover,
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