THE AM ERICAN
5
"1 TALK OF A HALO."
BeuarLable IVn of Smewbt Infidel
Traik-tM If.
The Truth-Seeker Company, of 2?
Lafayette place, New York, ha jut i
ued a well-written and strikingly hu
morous and can- tie poem entitled "The
Tale of a Halo." The characters in
troduced are St. Peter, St. Michael, St.
Patrick, Boekebub, and others. It
deal largely with life In heaven and
hell, and begin a follows:
St. Peter was gazing one day by the
gate
At a sijn on the rampart, and, sad to
relate,
Ills face wore a look of surprise and
chagrin,
For the sign bore the legend, "No
Smoking Within."
While Peter was dozing, a cherub had
passed
And high on the rampart had made the
sign fast;
For the heaven-born privilege he had
abused,
And the smoke from his pipe was
through heaven diffused.
And the smoke from the pipe had a
smell of Its own,
Too strong for the incense that hung
round the throne.
Then he picked up his pipe, his to
bacco and stool
With a grunt of disgust at the new
fangled rule,
And passed through the portal of jasper
and gold
Where smoking was not by the by-law
controlled .
"Strikes me," quoth the saint, "such a
rule would work better
If posted In hell and observed to the
letter."
And filling and lighting his pipe as he
spoke,
He seated himself for a good, quiet
Bmoke.
Then follows the description of jeal
ousy and warfare between St. Michael
and St. Peter Michael now belngen
gagedHin looking up Peter's record,
that he might rob him of his office as
gate-keeper. Michael discovers con
cerning his rival that he had been
Bomewhat tough, but finds nothing con
clusive: fie closed with a sigh; he could find
nothing newer
Pertaining to Peter, and, though he
was sure
That hell contained people much Better
than he,
The fact that the pope and the most
holy see
Had made him a saint, put It out of his
power
To question his claims to his heavenly
dower;
For papal authority governed his own,
And often exceeded the pow'r of the
throne.
And Michael, though premier and chief
in command,
Had little control over such of the band
Of saints as held office, and this but in
creased His wish to have Peter disrated at least,
As to why he was given the care of the
keys-
It was one of the high and mysterious
decrees
In which the archangel had not had a
voice.
'Most every one thought that the pope
had the choice.
Be this as it may, the appointment had
been
The source of a deep and mo&t painful
chagrin .
To the rest of the saints, and it almost
had brought
The most of them down to a point where
they sought,
By prying and spying and telling of
tales,
And pitiful dwelling on smallest de
' tails,
To oust the old man from his saintly
estate, - - "r-1 -a IWDW
And have him relieved from the care
of the gate.
Toward the last comes the fight be
tween St. Peter and St. Patrick, and
then there was a conference between
St Michael and Beelzebub. What fol
lows is thus described:
"Excuse me," said Beelzebub, making
a bow,
"You'd better keep Peter just where
he is now.
He's backed by the power of the church
and-hello!"
Just then a commotion was heard in
the row
Of listening angels. St. Patrick ap
peared In a very excited condition; he cleared
At a bound the short distance of space
that remained,
And, raising a hand that was bloody
and stained,
He made, ere the wondering fiend was
aware,
The puissant sign of the cross in the
air.
The inmates of he&ven were not in a
state
To care much for anything, little or
great;
But what now occurred was sufficient to
cause
Their faith In their senses to waver,
because
Of the wondrous effect of the sign on
the fiend.
lie tremblingly lowered hi head till
be'd screened
III eye from the pantomime; then, a
low whine
Came whimpering forth, and he turned;
but the sign
Wa repeated right under hi nose;
then he fell
On hi face, giving vent to an ago
nized yell;
Then Michael, astonished, endeavor d
to speak.
But hi word were submerged in an
ear-splitting shriek!
For the wrathful St. Patrick now
pressed the attack
And traced the great sign of the cross
on hi back.
And a murmur of wonder arose on the
air
From the angels and host, as the shrieks
of despair
Rang out over heaven. St. Pat.ick
now placed
His foot on the neck of the fiend he'd
disgraced.
And standing in tatters, bospatter'd
with mud,
His knuckles disjointed and covered
with blood
(The bleed was acquired from the gate
keeper's nose),
His features disfigured, one ear In re
pose,
One eye flashing fire and the other
closed tight-
He looked like a typified genius of
fight.
The puzzled archangel now tried to In
duce
The saint to desist, but he found it no
use.
He met him with volleys of stinging
reproach,
And seeing the wondering angels ap
proach, He roundly abused them. I cannot repeat
The language he used; It would sully
my sheet.
But when he had finished the torrent
of scorn
He shouted to Gabriel: "Gimme thot
hornl
Gimme thot inshtrument gimme it
quick;
He nades a good batin'. 01 bruk me
old shtick
On the head of St. Pater before Oi got
In
Jlst gimme thot bugle; 01 want to be'
gin!"
And, seizing the horn from the trum
peter's hand,
Who gave it in spite of the leader's
command,
He yelled to his victim, "Come, git out
of this!
Yev been lang enough in the raglons of
bliss,"
"Hold on!" said the archangel. "Pat
rick, don't strike
The fiend when he's down, It is" "Hold
your tongue, Mike!
An' doan't interfere wid me; Ol'm me
own boss
Ye'd better go practice the sign of the
cross!"
A most disrespectful and impudent
speech.
But Patrick, like Peter, was out of the
reach
Of Michael's authority; hence he was
forced
To witness a scene he wjuld not have
endorsed.
St. Patrick, now grasping the tall of
the foe
And jerking him upward, delivered a
blow
On his head with the horn; then he
shouted, "Git out!"
And away went the twain, while a jubl
lant shout
Went up from the host. He continued
to whack
The terrified fiend on the head and the
back
('Twas hard on the trumpet), and
straight for the gate
The tandem rushed on at a furious rate
And often the fiend would endeavor to
rise,
And as often the saint, with a growl of
surprise,
Would hang his whole weight on that
suffering tail,
And cause such a plan of escaping to
fail.
Yet he might, even so, have got out of
the place
But heaven's great portal was slammed
In his face.
St. Peter was terribly thrashed in the
fight,
And this Is the way that he vented his
spite;
For Patrick had let himself In with
the key,
And Peter had left the gate open to see
What happened; and now, as the devil
drew near,
With Patrick made fast to the tail In
the rear,
In frenzy of rage and unsaintly chagrin
He closed heaven's portal and locked
the fiend in.
Then heaven's great legion came down
with a rush,
All shouting and howling; they met In
a crush
Surrounding the two, where they strug
gled and fought
To reach the discomfited fiend who had
brought
Such trouble upon them. The first
who arrived
Were jammed Into the center; the near
est contrived
Some blow to deliver, though not very
true
(St. Patrick got mud, and the devil a
few),
And other climbed over the head of
tbe rt,
E; ch making the sign of the cros on
hi breast.
And around In a center the slgzag wa
borne
With Patrick still pounding the fiend
with the horn.
The above are a few line from 70
Illustrated page. The hook which 1
entirely humorous sell for 50 cent
The Truth-Seeker Company, 23 La
fayette place, New York.
EXTOSED THE IHIKCH.
Member of a 1'ulUh Roman Catholic
(bun-h ltebukes a Minister at
the Altar.
The covetousnesi, greed and parsi
mony of the Roman Catholic church
are proverbial, but It is difficult, often,
because of those concerned, to ascer
tain facts. The secrecy maintained by
the authorities extends to the subordi
nates, and the Influence wielded by the
former makes the latter very chary of
telling the truth they do not know
what damnation may be in store for
them.
Occasionally, hoever, the truth
leaks out, In suite of the pope and the
devlL We have received the transla
tion of an article published in the Pol
ish paper Echo, published in Buffalo,
N. Y., May 10, 18U5, which Is both In
teresting and instructive, and the facts
of which we incorporate in this article.
It appears that on Sunday, May 12th,
the Rev. Father Flaczky, a Polish
priest, occupied the pulpit, and occa
sioned an exodus from the church com
parable with the exodus from Egypt,
for only a few old and helpless wemen
remained to listen to the conclusion of
U e ceremonies.
He took as his text: "The evil of
money," preaching strongly against the
present abuse of that commodity, and
endeavoring to show to bis congrega
tion that money was their groat and
only idol; that they thought of little
else, and nothing of the future life and
Its promises. All their ambition
seemed to be confined and restricted by
the almighty dollar.
At once there was a murmuring
heaid throughout the church, and one
man got up and cried out aloud:
"That is enough, father priest. Do
not pu ach to us any more about human
cove ton ness; for if any one sins in
that dli c-tlon and runs after money, it
Is you."
Then h turned to the congregation,
and in the name loud and Imperious
tone of voi exclaimed:
"Let us go out! Let us hear no more
of such nonsen-e!"
And, our report goes on to say, the
people, thinking It was the voice of
God, went oat and left the church
empty, save for tte presence of some
old women, too devout to hear or too
weak to walk.
The priest was compelled to get down
from his position at the pulpit and
leave the church with many better
than he.
The next day he left the parish,
which was already too uncomfortable
for him, and, seeing the position he
had placed himself In, he sent in bis
resignation to Bishop Ryan. But by
some mental obliquity that functionary
did not perceive the need for the re
tirement of his lieutenant, and told the
"father" that he must return to his
flock, even though they did not desire
to have him among them any more.
This is only another example of un
wise church management, not only on
the part of Bishop Ryan, but on the
part of all other prelates. They do not
recognize that this U a free country,
even In the matter of religion, and that
a minister can be as obnoxious as a
politician, and that there is an equal
rigbt to get rid of both.
Besides, the Polish people are pecul
iar, and the recent history of Detroit
and Cleveland shmld show the bishop
that they are not to be trifled with.
The best thing he can do Is to recon
sider his decision and have Father
What's-hls-name removed, and the
wishes of his parishioners satisfied.
After all, it Is from them that he gets
his bread and butter, and he is foolish
to throw that away, even if those who
gave it to him are Poles. If he doesn't
look out, he will find a fight upon his
hands that it will take him all his time
to manage.
There is not much sympathy with
either side to be wasted, however, be
cause Bishop Ryan Is outwardly greedy,
and his priest only in a secondary de
gree. But the priest made the mistake
of going too far and being found out.
He was not as clever In his money
grabbing schemes as some Toledo
priests we could name. Toledo Amer
ican. HOT SPRINGS, S. 1).
If indications count for anything, the
Hot Springs of South Dakota are des
tined to become the most popular resort
between Chicago and the Pacific Coast.
They are situated in the gentle and
beautiful canon of Fall River, and are
the center of a splendidly built little
city of three thousand permanent in
habitants. The efficacy of their waters
NOW READY
The Nation I
FOR JUNE, 189S.
It contains many excellent Tapers, among which may bo mentioned the
following leading ones:
Democracy vs. Plutocracy,
By HON. M. W. IIOWAKD, M. C, of Alabama.
The Money Famine,
By HON. TAUL VAN DERVOOIiT, of Omaha, Neb.
Real Estate Foreclosures,
By JOHN 0. YEISER, ESQ., of Omaha, Neb.
Investments in American Commerce by the Pope,
By HON. HENRY F. BOWERS, of Clinton, Iowa.
Ask Your Newsdealer for It.
If he does not have it ask him to order it for you.
fipPor Singlo My For Year (TM fjA
IvU Gopu. in Advance. vPl.vU
1 Published Monthly and sold by first-class Newsdealers everywhere.
THE NATION.
t 124 E. Randolph St., 807 Main St., 1615 Howard St.,
I Chicago, 111. Kansas Gitu, Mo. Omaha, Nob.
for rheumatism, dyspepsia, and, In fact,
almost every chronic disorder of the
system, Is too well known to require
statement. It is testified to by the an
nual arrival of thousands of invalids,
and tbe departure of these same per
sons, after a few weeks, in much im
proved or wholly restored health. The
Springs are surrounded by many ob
jects of surpassing natural Interest, as
Wind Cave, equal in extent to the
Mammoth Cave of Kentucky, and far
more wonderful information, filled with
striking beauties and strange fantasies
of structure. Not far away are the
romantic Cascades, and near by are
extinct craters of geysers standing up
like holes that had been built rather
than excavated, and by their puzzling
appearance meriting the name they
have received, "The Devil's Chlmneyr."
This is but a beginning of the list of
attractions in the vicinity, to fairly see
which would entranclngly occupy a
month.
The hotels and the bathing accom
modations for guests are unsurpassable,
and nothing is left to be desired by any
grade of people, from tbe nabob travel
ing for amusement to the poverty
stricken invalid In search of cheap and
speedy restoration to health.
The Passenger Department of the
Burlington Route has issued a well
written and beautifully illustrated
folder, containing a great deal of inter
esting matter relative to this famous
resort. For a copy or for information
about the Burlington Route's rates and
train service to Hot Springs, write to
J. Francis, General Passenger and
Ticket Agent, Omaha, Neb.
P. S. Half rates to Hot Springs
May 24, June 7 and 19, July 3 and 19,
August 2 and 23.
A PoliUcal Frost.
Roman Um is a political frost and a
moral mildew. It has been the wither
ing curse of nations and the blighting
Influence of Individuals. It has rusted
honesty, corroded virtue and tarnished
truth. It has blasted the glory of many
a flourishing state and overthrown nu
merous powerful empires. It has poi
soned justice, stabbed liberty, crippled
honor, blinded reason and handicapped
science. It has sought to extinguish
the fires of patriotism in the soul, to
crush the intellect and to cramp the
heart. Its papal opiate has lulled many
millions to sleep a sleep as fatal as
that of Circe. Americans, beware of
It! Exchange.
Statk or Ohio. City or Toledo, i
Luoits County. f88'
Frank J. Chknet makes oath that he Is
the senior partner of the firm of K. J. Chknky
& Co., doing business in the city 'of Toledo,
County and Stale aforesaid, and that said
firm will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED
DOLLAKS for each and every case of
I'atahkh that cannot be cured by the use of
Hall's Catahhh lckk.
FRANK J. ( UENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed In nit
presence this Stb day of December. A D. lxl.
lSEALJ Notary Public.
Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally
and acts directly on the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system. Send for testimonials,
frw. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. O.
t ff"So!d by Druggists. 73c
DON'T miss the June Ration. It Is
on sale at all first-class news-stands.
Price, 10 cents.
A. P. A. SONGSTER.
Only One In Existence.
-BY-
REV. O. E. MURRAY, A. M. B. D.
The best collection of Patriotic Music sti
offered to the public for Patriotic gather
lugs, homes, schools and all who lovs out
nation.
Word and Muaio, 100 , 101 tonga,
rlo IS Canta, Postpaid.
THE AMERICAN.
Pr. HIIoa'NERva Plasters core RHKUdv
TISM. WEAK HACKS. At druKKlsta, ouly Ko.
I
FREE HEATt
Va L'j that IJahta your lta"a
W!l 11KAT u if you nas a v
FALLS HEATER.
TtJr ulacMf stnv In mMltiim-ftlutf
room. In BuiMwfuI ijmIo Nw Kniciaiifl
yfm HlK'imt r1t). 14ml of rvfor
17 mttU Rt.v HO"! 00, MftM. m
CAC MEDICAL 6
Ovsr, Sort and Ukar ksmsdy.
Mr MISS, KALB IttAO. SALT IrkWI MM
OU MMSt II I I fc, WL LSD mt Mm
K Aft 00 ""l I" m mt tfw. mm
JU mn mm mm AW.
AfffMTt MAKTPO M,.r MM. MM UMMj
. I C. A fc. MKUIfcAL. tO. I
The A. P. A. Magazine.
It will be The sensation of the year In periodical literature. Number 1 is
just ready, and any newsdealer of the American persuasion will be glad to take
your order for a copy. If you do not like the first number you will not need to
take another. It will be one of the largest magazines published in America,
containing 90 large quarto pages filled to overflowing with matter which will
prove a mine of Information and delight to all who are Interested In the great
A. P. A. movement. It will be full of fire, and will print in each Issue a
number of pages of the hottest attacks on the A. P. A. from the Catholic
press of this country. Don't fail to secure a copy of the first issue.
Price, 25 Cents a Number, or $3.00 a Year.
I'TJliLlSI-IlSD MONTHLY.
If you have no American newsdealer In your town, fend stamps or coin direct
to the publisher. Agents wanted to sell tbe Magazine at council and
other meetings. Mention this paper when you write.
THE A.P.A. MAGAZINE.
Box 2608.
San Francisco, Cal.
"CASE FOR BI-METALISM."
By HON. PAUL VAN DERVOORT,
Commander-in-Chief of the "Industrial Legion."
6 N interesting Pamphlet dealing with the subject of "Bi
Metalism" and other economic questions. It explains the
position of the People's Party with regard to bettering the "great
Financial System of our country, and is replete with facts, figures
and interesting data. It is well worth reading.
PRICE: Single Copies 15 cents.
Six " $1.00.
Mailed to any address on receipt of price. Address,
paul, van nnnvooKT,
1110 South 3 2d Street,
OMAHA, NEB.
In the Clutch of Rome
Hound In Paper: Price
Sent on. Keceipt of Prtoe. -
BY "GONZALES."
25 GIIjNTS.
Ti's S101 Wa$ Published in Serial Form in tbe 0mara
imcrkant and bad a Vcr1 Wide Circulation.
THE AMERICAN,
