The American. (Omaha, Nebraska) 1891-1899, June 14, 1895, Image 3
THE AM ERICAN 5 "1 TALK OF A HALO." BeuarLable IVn of Smewbt Infidel Traik-tM If. The Truth-Seeker Company, of 2? Lafayette place, New York, ha jut i ued a well-written and strikingly hu morous and can- tie poem entitled "The Tale of a Halo." The characters in troduced are St. Peter, St. Michael, St. Patrick, Boekebub, and others. It deal largely with life In heaven and hell, and begin a follows: St. Peter was gazing one day by the gate At a sijn on the rampart, and, sad to relate, Ills face wore a look of surprise and chagrin, For the sign bore the legend, "No Smoking Within." While Peter was dozing, a cherub had passed And high on the rampart had made the sign fast; For the heaven-born privilege he had abused, And the smoke from his pipe was through heaven diffused. And the smoke from the pipe had a smell of Its own, Too strong for the incense that hung round the throne. Then he picked up his pipe, his to bacco and stool With a grunt of disgust at the new fangled rule, And passed through the portal of jasper and gold Where smoking was not by the by-law controlled . "Strikes me," quoth the saint, "such a rule would work better If posted In hell and observed to the letter." And filling and lighting his pipe as he spoke, He seated himself for a good, quiet Bmoke. Then follows the description of jeal ousy and warfare between St. Michael and St. Peter Michael now belngen gagedHin looking up Peter's record, that he might rob him of his office as gate-keeper. Michael discovers con cerning his rival that he had been Bomewhat tough, but finds nothing con clusive: fie closed with a sigh; he could find nothing newer Pertaining to Peter, and, though he was sure That hell contained people much Better than he, The fact that the pope and the most holy see Had made him a saint, put It out of his power To question his claims to his heavenly dower; For papal authority governed his own, And often exceeded the pow'r of the throne. And Michael, though premier and chief in command, Had little control over such of the band Of saints as held office, and this but in creased His wish to have Peter disrated at least, As to why he was given the care of the keys- It was one of the high and mysterious decrees In which the archangel had not had a voice. 'Most every one thought that the pope had the choice. Be this as it may, the appointment had been The source of a deep and mo&t painful chagrin . To the rest of the saints, and it almost had brought The most of them down to a point where they sought, By prying and spying and telling of tales, And pitiful dwelling on smallest de ' tails, To oust the old man from his saintly estate, - - "r-1 -a IWDW And have him relieved from the care of the gate. Toward the last comes the fight be tween St. Peter and St. Patrick, and then there was a conference between St Michael and Beelzebub. What fol lows is thus described: "Excuse me," said Beelzebub, making a bow, "You'd better keep Peter just where he is now. He's backed by the power of the church and-hello!" Just then a commotion was heard in the row Of listening angels. St. Patrick ap peared In a very excited condition; he cleared At a bound the short distance of space that remained, And, raising a hand that was bloody and stained, He made, ere the wondering fiend was aware, The puissant sign of the cross in the air. The inmates of he&ven were not in a state To care much for anything, little or great; But what now occurred was sufficient to cause Their faith In their senses to waver, because Of the wondrous effect of the sign on the fiend. lie tremblingly lowered hi head till be'd screened III eye from the pantomime; then, a low whine Came whimpering forth, and he turned; but the sign Wa repeated right under hi nose; then he fell On hi face, giving vent to an ago nized yell; Then Michael, astonished, endeavor d to speak. But hi word were submerged in an ear-splitting shriek! For the wrathful St. Patrick now pressed the attack And traced the great sign of the cross on hi back. And a murmur of wonder arose on the air From the angels and host, as the shrieks of despair Rang out over heaven. St. Pat.ick now placed His foot on the neck of the fiend he'd disgraced. And standing in tatters, bospatter'd with mud, His knuckles disjointed and covered with blood (The bleed was acquired from the gate keeper's nose), His features disfigured, one ear In re pose, One eye flashing fire and the other closed tight- He looked like a typified genius of fight. The puzzled archangel now tried to In duce The saint to desist, but he found it no use. He met him with volleys of stinging reproach, And seeing the wondering angels ap proach, He roundly abused them. I cannot repeat The language he used; It would sully my sheet. But when he had finished the torrent of scorn He shouted to Gabriel: "Gimme thot hornl Gimme thot inshtrument gimme it quick; He nades a good batin'. 01 bruk me old shtick On the head of St. Pater before Oi got In Jlst gimme thot bugle; 01 want to be' gin!" And, seizing the horn from the trum peter's hand, Who gave it in spite of the leader's command, He yelled to his victim, "Come, git out of this! Yev been lang enough in the raglons of bliss," "Hold on!" said the archangel. "Pat rick, don't strike The fiend when he's down, It is" "Hold your tongue, Mike! An' doan't interfere wid me; Ol'm me own boss Ye'd better go practice the sign of the cross!" A most disrespectful and impudent speech. But Patrick, like Peter, was out of the reach Of Michael's authority; hence he was forced To witness a scene he wjuld not have endorsed. St. Patrick, now grasping the tall of the foe And jerking him upward, delivered a blow On his head with the horn; then he shouted, "Git out!" And away went the twain, while a jubl lant shout Went up from the host. He continued to whack The terrified fiend on the head and the back ('Twas hard on the trumpet), and straight for the gate The tandem rushed on at a furious rate And often the fiend would endeavor to rise, And as often the saint, with a growl of surprise, Would hang his whole weight on that suffering tail, And cause such a plan of escaping to fail. Yet he might, even so, have got out of the place But heaven's great portal was slammed In his face. St. Peter was terribly thrashed in the fight, And this Is the way that he vented his spite; For Patrick had let himself In with the key, And Peter had left the gate open to see What happened; and now, as the devil drew near, With Patrick made fast to the tail In the rear, In frenzy of rage and unsaintly chagrin He closed heaven's portal and locked the fiend in. Then heaven's great legion came down with a rush, All shouting and howling; they met In a crush Surrounding the two, where they strug gled and fought To reach the discomfited fiend who had brought Such trouble upon them. The first who arrived Were jammed Into the center; the near est contrived Some blow to deliver, though not very true (St. Patrick got mud, and the devil a few), And other climbed over the head of tbe rt, E; ch making the sign of the cros on hi breast. And around In a center the slgzag wa borne With Patrick still pounding the fiend with the horn. The above are a few line from 70 Illustrated page. The hook which 1 entirely humorous sell for 50 cent The Truth-Seeker Company, 23 La fayette place, New York. EXTOSED THE IHIKCH. Member of a 1'ulUh Roman Catholic (bun-h ltebukes a Minister at the Altar. The covetousnesi, greed and parsi mony of the Roman Catholic church are proverbial, but It is difficult, often, because of those concerned, to ascer tain facts. The secrecy maintained by the authorities extends to the subordi nates, and the Influence wielded by the former makes the latter very chary of telling the truth they do not know what damnation may be in store for them. Occasionally, hoever, the truth leaks out, In suite of the pope and the devlL We have received the transla tion of an article published in the Pol ish paper Echo, published in Buffalo, N. Y., May 10, 18U5, which Is both In teresting and instructive, and the facts of which we incorporate in this article. It appears that on Sunday, May 12th, the Rev. Father Flaczky, a Polish priest, occupied the pulpit, and occa sioned an exodus from the church com parable with the exodus from Egypt, for only a few old and helpless wemen remained to listen to the conclusion of U e ceremonies. He took as his text: "The evil of money," preaching strongly against the present abuse of that commodity, and endeavoring to show to bis congrega tion that money was their groat and only idol; that they thought of little else, and nothing of the future life and Its promises. All their ambition seemed to be confined and restricted by the almighty dollar. At once there was a murmuring heaid throughout the church, and one man got up and cried out aloud: "That is enough, father priest. Do not pu ach to us any more about human cove ton ness; for if any one sins in that dli c-tlon and runs after money, it Is you." Then h turned to the congregation, and in the name loud and Imperious tone of voi exclaimed: "Let us go out! Let us hear no more of such nonsen-e!" And, our report goes on to say, the people, thinking It was the voice of God, went oat and left the church empty, save for tte presence of some old women, too devout to hear or too weak to walk. The priest was compelled to get down from his position at the pulpit and leave the church with many better than he. The next day he left the parish, which was already too uncomfortable for him, and, seeing the position he had placed himself In, he sent in bis resignation to Bishop Ryan. But by some mental obliquity that functionary did not perceive the need for the re tirement of his lieutenant, and told the "father" that he must return to his flock, even though they did not desire to have him among them any more. This is only another example of un wise church management, not only on the part of Bishop Ryan, but on the part of all other prelates. They do not recognize that this U a free country, even In the matter of religion, and that a minister can be as obnoxious as a politician, and that there is an equal rigbt to get rid of both. Besides, the Polish people are pecul iar, and the recent history of Detroit and Cleveland shmld show the bishop that they are not to be trifled with. The best thing he can do Is to recon sider his decision and have Father What's-hls-name removed, and the wishes of his parishioners satisfied. After all, it Is from them that he gets his bread and butter, and he is foolish to throw that away, even if those who gave it to him are Poles. If he doesn't look out, he will find a fight upon his hands that it will take him all his time to manage. There is not much sympathy with either side to be wasted, however, be cause Bishop Ryan Is outwardly greedy, and his priest only in a secondary de gree. But the priest made the mistake of going too far and being found out. He was not as clever In his money grabbing schemes as some Toledo priests we could name. Toledo Amer ican. HOT SPRINGS, S. 1). If indications count for anything, the Hot Springs of South Dakota are des tined to become the most popular resort between Chicago and the Pacific Coast. They are situated in the gentle and beautiful canon of Fall River, and are the center of a splendidly built little city of three thousand permanent in habitants. The efficacy of their waters NOW READY The Nation I FOR JUNE, 189S. It contains many excellent Tapers, among which may bo mentioned the following leading ones: Democracy vs. Plutocracy, By HON. M. W. IIOWAKD, M. C, of Alabama. The Money Famine, By HON. TAUL VAN DERVOOIiT, of Omaha, Neb. Real Estate Foreclosures, By JOHN 0. YEISER, ESQ., of Omaha, Neb. Investments in American Commerce by the Pope, By HON. HENRY F. BOWERS, of Clinton, Iowa. Ask Your Newsdealer for It. If he does not have it ask him to order it for you. fipPor Singlo My For Year (TM fjA IvU Gopu. in Advance. vPl.vU 1 Published Monthly and sold by first-class Newsdealers everywhere. THE NATION. t 124 E. Randolph St., 807 Main St., 1615 Howard St., I Chicago, 111. Kansas Gitu, Mo. Omaha, Nob. for rheumatism, dyspepsia, and, In fact, almost every chronic disorder of the system, Is too well known to require statement. It is testified to by the an nual arrival of thousands of invalids, and tbe departure of these same per sons, after a few weeks, in much im proved or wholly restored health. The Springs are surrounded by many ob jects of surpassing natural Interest, as Wind Cave, equal in extent to the Mammoth Cave of Kentucky, and far more wonderful information, filled with striking beauties and strange fantasies of structure. Not far away are the romantic Cascades, and near by are extinct craters of geysers standing up like holes that had been built rather than excavated, and by their puzzling appearance meriting the name they have received, "The Devil's Chlmneyr." This is but a beginning of the list of attractions in the vicinity, to fairly see which would entranclngly occupy a month. The hotels and the bathing accom modations for guests are unsurpassable, and nothing is left to be desired by any grade of people, from tbe nabob travel ing for amusement to the poverty stricken invalid In search of cheap and speedy restoration to health. The Passenger Department of the Burlington Route has issued a well written and beautifully illustrated folder, containing a great deal of inter esting matter relative to this famous resort. For a copy or for information about the Burlington Route's rates and train service to Hot Springs, write to J. Francis, General Passenger and Ticket Agent, Omaha, Neb. P. S. Half rates to Hot Springs May 24, June 7 and 19, July 3 and 19, August 2 and 23. A PoliUcal Frost. Roman Um is a political frost and a moral mildew. It has been the wither ing curse of nations and the blighting Influence of Individuals. It has rusted honesty, corroded virtue and tarnished truth. It has blasted the glory of many a flourishing state and overthrown nu merous powerful empires. It has poi soned justice, stabbed liberty, crippled honor, blinded reason and handicapped science. It has sought to extinguish the fires of patriotism in the soul, to crush the intellect and to cramp the heart. Its papal opiate has lulled many millions to sleep a sleep as fatal as that of Circe. Americans, beware of It! Exchange. Statk or Ohio. City or Toledo, i Luoits County. f88' Frank J. Chknet makes oath that he Is the senior partner of the firm of K. J. 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It will be full of fire, and will print in each Issue a number of pages of the hottest attacks on the A. P. A. from the Catholic press of this country. Don't fail to secure a copy of the first issue. Price, 25 Cents a Number, or $3.00 a Year. I'TJliLlSI-IlSD MONTHLY. If you have no American newsdealer In your town, fend stamps or coin direct to the publisher. Agents wanted to sell tbe Magazine at council and other meetings. Mention this paper when you write. THE A.P.A. MAGAZINE. Box 2608. San Francisco, Cal. "CASE FOR BI-METALISM." By HON. PAUL VAN DERVOORT, Commander-in-Chief of the "Industrial Legion." 6 N interesting Pamphlet dealing with the subject of "Bi Metalism" and other economic questions. It explains the position of the People's Party with regard to bettering the "great Financial System of our country, and is replete with facts, figures and interesting data. It is well worth reading. PRICE: Single Copies 15 cents. Six " $1.00. Mailed to any address on receipt of price. Address, paul, van nnnvooKT, 1110 South 3 2d Street, OMAHA, NEB. In the Clutch of Rome Hound In Paper: Price Sent on. Keceipt of Prtoe. - BY "GONZALES." 25 GIIjNTS. Ti's S101 Wa$ Published in Serial Form in tbe 0mara imcrkant and bad a Vcr1 Wide Circulation. THE AMERICAN,