T H
AMER CAN
THE FAlt-lNO APPLE.
laeory Mblch lroaiM-e I t'ellpee 1 hal
of Mr Ua lo.
WMle Sir Iaao Newton Id!;
wandoriiij: his waj through ths
shaJy avonuos of an apple orvhard
but a fow centuries Wok his silent
thoughts ere abruptly disturbed by
harp crack upon hU cranium.
t'u nnuiverlDjf his sonses he dls
covered Hint a largo, rip deaeenJ
ant of lh forbidden fruit ha I be
come detached from a Wfll -laden
branch and for soma unknown reason
bad made it way toward tho ground,
though incidentally nioctin with "
obtaclo which retard d (W murse,
Thia alaapla Incident m1 Mr. New
ton tt) lUtuklutf and ho wondered
why tlio applo t-hould fall dowuwurd
and not upward.
This rvo rise, to additional med
itation, while others took U the
study and It was finally contended
that there was a force which caused
11 things to sink to the earth, and
0, upon Mr Isaac's discovery. tlu
laws of attraction and gravitation
wero founded, until now the New
tonian theory la recotfnUed In
physios a a scientific truth.
liobort SUitenson In a lecturo be
foro tho San J ranelseo academy of
clenre recently nti.de It known that
tho Illustrious Isaac was "not In It,"
to to epoak, and that bis theory as
regards the falling of an applo down
ward was simply the product of
diseased Imagination.
Mr. Stovenson does not bold that
an applo should make its way hea
venward to feed the eng-els, but con
tends that the Newtonian laws have
nothing to do with the production of
the laws of gravitation, and that If
the world revolved at a greater ve
locity than lis presont limit the In
habitants thereon would be enabled
to walk about in the air without the
least inconvenience, while upples
would fall upward, downward, east
ward, westward or any other dlreo
tlon at the mercy of the wind.
lie further contended that a hori
zontal bar would reach the ground
much quicker than a falling
body, and concluded by stating upon
authority that the common saying,
"the sun rises," 6r "the sun sots," Is
positively fake, as the aun Is quite
stationary, whilo it Is tho earth that
revolves once every twonty-four
bours, thus meeting the sun dally.
Itlitomnrt In Central I'ark.
One of the most pleasant sights ol
Central park, on pleasant afternoons,
says a Now York paper, "is to see
tho procession of women bicyclists
who ride in bloomers and seem to
rejoice in their emancipation from
skirts. They have ceased to exolta
astonishment and almost comment,
and certainly demonstrate the com
mon sense and appropriateness of a
dress that is not only cool, sensible
and comfortable but modest and be
coming. The latest bicycles for wo
men are now being male without
the drop bar, and we may expect to
be able to discriminate between tho
tuxes when on wheels only by the
ullness of the trousers and the
charactor of the back hair. An au
thority on tho subject, who rides
every day, tells mo, however, that
the majority of tho women will
always prefer tho drop bar as being
more distinctive and feminine."
Uo Ati.mu ! ove Kntif
There seems no reason to doubt
)t Monkeys are full of frolic for
ts own sane, and enjoy themselves
most of all when playing mis
Ohio vous jokes. A terrier performed
his tricks so consciously that when
no one praised it for them, it used
to become quite sulkv. A flock of
geese have boon known to cause
number of pigs to run the gauntlet
between them, merely to hear the
squealing of the porkers as the? were
bit at by tho bird There was a
soldier's horse that was wont to be
fastened by a r.ver's bank, and the
creaturo had the ill habit of kicking
at passinir men. in order to make
them fall Into the water. The jack
daw will watch boys at their games
with evident appreciation o; the fun,
and tho amount of rojruishness In
kittens Is perfectly notorious.
' ot ili" K'lilt iif thi' S .'item.
Banks strengthens hi i memory by
the use of a system of mnemonics,
to learn which ho paid tne inventor
$25.
Rivers intrusted a package to
' Banks' care the other evening and
the latter apologized next morning
for having failed to deliver it.
"The fact is, Kivers." he said, "X
forgot all about it.''
But how about the f'25 system of
mnemonics "
"That system," retorted Banks
hotly,' "is all right I forgot to ap
ply it-that's alL"
Truthful, I ut Not Polite.
Edith What a quick turn tor rep
artee Harry Prince has.
Mabel But he never says anything
to wound one's feelings.
Edith And he is so gallant! You
should think the world of him. He
was so prompt in your defense the
Other day. Somebody remarked:
There are no frills on Mabel Stone,"
and Harry replied: "On the contra
ry, she is distinctly plain." Boston
Transcript.
Hound to Have Something.
Little Boy If you pray for a thing
and don't get it wot's that a sign off
Little Girl That's a sign it isn't
food for you.
Little Boy Well, I've prayed for
most everything and didn't get It
Guess I'll pray for a new catechism
next time.
In a Fix.
Boy Teacher, I wish you would
make that girl quit winking at me.
Teacher Why don't you look
ome where else?
Boy Because if 1 do, she'll wink
at tome other boy. Texas Sittings.
EXPERIENCE.
Arllat om Sketrhlef Toar
I'rope
lata XmI of Maaaee.
'I bad an experience last year
which I think was sufficiently thril
ling to satisfy the most adventurous
mind." said A. It Cooj-er, a M.
l.ouis art it t, to a Globe-Pemocrat
man. "I was down in (Georgia on a
sketching tour, and one afternoon
wandered off Into the forest and sat
down on the trunk of a fallen troe to
contemplate the beauties of nature.
1 bad only been there ft few minutes
when my interest was riveted on the
wouderful saffron and gray hues of
one of the exposed roots of a tree
near where I was sitting. These
views were almost metallic, and I
regretted that I had not brought my
oolors with me, so that I could make
note of them. In ga.lng about me
1 observed on one of the interlacing
bows above me a similar effect,
though this time it was of a green
ish olack tint
" hlle sitting and admiring those
lovely elTects of color, to which the
sun gave tinseled beauty, I was sud
denly seized with fascination,
which even now I recall with sense
of horror; in that second of lime I
realized that a green snake of con
siderable size was staring at me
with its luminous, flame-colored
eyes, within ft short distance from
where I sat The next Instant I
happily recovered myself, and start
ed to my feet. At the same mo
ment the saffron-gray trunk near
me, which I had so greatly admired
only ft few minutes before, slowly
unwound itself; it was another rep
tile of the same kind. My supposed
greenish-black, metalllo tinted
bough had at the same Instant wrig
gled down to an open space, un
pleasantly near my feet, and several
tendril branohes, as I had supposed
them to be, commenced to show
signs of snaky animation. In fact,
much to my consternation, I found
myself to be in a very hot-bed ot
anakes; the place was Utorally alive
with them.
"I am no naturalist, and I cannot
give you their names, neither can 1
tell whether their bite would kill ft
buffalo or ft butterfly, but I only
know that it was with ft feeling ot
immonse relief that I found myself
safe upon the highway, and lost no
time in putting a considerable dis
tance between myself and that dread
ed spot
SALSBURY WAS FOOLED.
Bow tha Wild Writ Manager TFaS
Taken In by Fallow Countryman.
One day there came Into my of
fice in London," said Mr. Nate Sals
bury to a New York Advertiser man,
"a very Impassible looking man,
about six feet two inches high, and
wearing a monocle as if it had been
glued into his eye. He looked me
all over and then said:
" -Aw-1 say, is there any one, aw,
who cau show mo around a bit, you
knowP I represent the Graphia'
" 'Well, you look It.' said L
"Yes, aw. I aw wanted to do a
bit of pictures and writing about tha
how. you knaw. '
Well, lam at your service,' I
rep. led. 'I'm sorry that Colonel
Cody is not net a'
'Cody, Cody, Colonel CodyP' he
aid. 'And who may he be? I say,
I don't knaw tho fellow.'
"1 threw up my hands at that I
had spent hundreds and thousands
of dollars to give London some
knowledge of Colonel Cody. I had
filled the town with such advertising
as it had never known before.
-Colonel Cody la Buffalo Bill,' I
replied.
Aw, yes; I say, does he speak
any English?
'Well, be speaks a little.'
'Born in Amenlca?'
"No; in Patagonia. '
'I aw, say, is he dangerous?"
No: perfectly harmless.'
'Dear met born in I'atagonia. Is
that New York?'
"1 looked at him in despair. It
was a hopeless case. I was wonder
ing what to do with him when he
dropped his monocle and English
accent and said with a grin: 'The
drinks are on you, old man.'
They were, too, for I had known
him several years ago as a New
York newspaper man."
An Infanlout Trip.
Quite a ghastly story is told of ths
British general postotlice, concern
ing "invisible ink. " A postman had
long been suspected of stealing
sheets of postage-stamps, but the
crime could not be brought home to
him. One day he was found with a
square foot or two of them in his
possession, and confronted with his
official superiors. He maintained, as
on former occasions, that he had
bought them for his own use.
What! these?" exclaimed his chief,
at the same time passing a moist
brush over one of the sheets, where
upon the blood-red words, "Stolen
from the general postoffioe," started
out like name upon it An eye-wit
ness of the occurrence described it
as most melodramatic, and the in
genious chemical contrivance at
once brought the thief to his knees.
Argonaut
Mniclea of the Hand.
The muscles of the hand reaoh
their highest perfection In man; no
other animal has a true hand; the
muscles of the eyes, ears and nose
show that several groups, which in
the lower animals are very highly
developed, in man are In an almost
rudimentary condition.
Ouo Old Lady's t'plnlon.
Don't you think," asked the en
tbusiastio young minister, "that the
time is near at hand when wars will
be no more?" -
Goodness, no!" exolatmed Mrs.
Jason. "War's about the only chance
the men folks has to show that they
A THRILLING
air really any use."
SHE WAS ONLY INQUIRING.
tlaroUIng Her Himii'i ITllleg
aha Met no Warm liwrtloa.
A curious looking woman weal
Into one of tho bigs; dry goods
stores and looked a-., d curiously.
She was jutt at cur'n i .. too. as she
looked.
lo you live in to, n?" said she to
tbe young lady clerk.
Yes," wat tho reply.
Who owns this store?''
"That gentleman." ald the clerk,
pointing to the proprietor.
"1 be ood to you?"
"Well, not any more than he Is to
the rest," said the clerk, blushing.
"You married?" said the woman.
"No," said the clerk.
"No thought of It 'mebbe?"
"Well, yes, I have thought of it"
"Got a tentleman, I hope," said
the curious woman, as she handled
and inspected the f oods she was
buying.
-How old be you, ralgnt I ask, if
it ain't an impertinence? I don't
know's it's any o' my business," she
added apologetically, "but I'm aw
fully interested in mos' folks. I
think it s our uty to get as well ao
quainte.l as we can in this world.
By the way," she continued, 'I'm
cur'us to know where you get your
dresses muilo. I want to hev a new
dress and I'm bound to hev this one
In style. How much did it cost ye?"
The young lady, if we got the
story right, was V this time In a
regular state ol uiiid and she an
swered as best sho could.
The answers were evidently satis
factory, but there is a limit to the
patience even of a dry goods clerk,
for when the woman said to her;
"Is that your engagement ring?"
the little lady behind the counter
flashed out in proper' resentment:
"None of your business, madam."
"Shoo," said the curious woman,
without any other apparent resent
ment "You needn't be so tetchy.
Hope I bain't seemod meddlin.' I
didn't mean to be."
And then they both smiled and
they pat ted good friends, for this is
a funny world and the curious wo
man doesn't know yet that she is
Impertinent
From Central Asia.
The mysterious ancestry of the
pre-hlstorlo tribes of Aiexico
and of Central America has
frequently been ascribed to far off
Polynesia; but now, for the first time,
a seemingly convincing proof of this
theory has beon presented. The na
tive calendar, found only in Central
America and the southern half-of
Mexico, has been identified by Pro
fessor Cyrus Thomas with the calen
dar of the Polynesians and Melanesi
ans. Hitherto it had been thought
to be without a parallel in the entire
world. With the single exception of
the division of the year in the native
American calendar into months of
twenty days, the two systems agree
in every essential feature. The
symbols for the various days, such
as the shark, wind, rain, dog at
lizard are found to have been the
same, at least linguistically. As the
American tribes using the calendar
embraced soven different lingulstio
stocks, the calendar could not have
beon an ethnio invention. Since the
days of (juatrefagos so much new
light has been shed upon anthro
pology that it is now within proba
bility that the dolmen bearers of
Japan and of Peru and the pyramid
builders ot Central America belong
to the same family as those of Cen
tral Asia.
Couldn't due.
College Chum Who is that pretty
girl over there?
Junior The one in the blue dress?
"Goodness, no. She has a nose
like a parrot."
"The one in blaok?"
"That poaked thing! Of course
not."
"Oh, you moan the one with red
flowers in her hat?"
"No, I don't I mean the one
talking to her."
"Eh? You don't call her protty,
do you? She's my sister."
' no KsotUtloal.
"Sir, I hear you using the word
donkey very frequently in your con
versation." Yes: your ears do not deceive
you."
"Am I to understand that you
apply the word to me?"
"Why, what makes you harbor
such an unjust suspicion? Don't you
know that there are lots of donkeys
in the world besides you?" Texas
Siftings.
A Wave of Reform.
Little Johnny 1 won't be kept
after school for whispering to Tom
my Dodd any more. Mother I'm
glad of that "Yes'm, Tommy sat
behind me, and I had to turn my
head to whisper to him, and the
teacher ulways saw me." "You
won't do it any more, I hope."
Nome. I've got a seat behind Tom
my, and now he'll have ' to turn his
head. Good News.
n the Newspaper line.
BanSs, in the newspaper line
H'mph! Here's a squib credited to
the Perkins Junction Banner that I
wrote six years ago tor the Daily
Bread.
Kivers, fellow laborer Do you re
member everything you have ever
written?
Of course I do."
"What a cave of gloom your mem
ory must be!"
I rofound Theory.
Mr. Janson I'll jist bet It was the
women that started this here strike.
Mrs. Janson Eer the land's sake I
Mr. Janson That's what I said.
It's the fasnion this year fer men to
be out o' work, and them there rail
roaders wives wouldn't rest till
their husbands was in the fashion.
PACERS CROWINQ IN FAVOR.
A Marked Change of Opinion in the !'
Tea Year.
The Increasing popularity of the
pacer Is shown by the fact that out
of thirty-nine newcomers to the list
this year fifteen are of the lateral
galted variety, says the Western
Broeder. This is a very great
change from the condition of things
but a few years ago. Then the taste
of the people did not run to pacers,
and it wat fashionable to decry and
discourage them. Now most drivers
want at least one pacer, and many of
them prefer pacors to trotters, it is
said that the preference for trotters
which so largely prevailed was due
in a considerable measure to the In
fluence of Kobert Bonner, who never
fancied them. Thiiraay be true, but
we believe the preference for the
trotter is oneot much more antiquity
than this fact would, taken by itself,
indicate, it would scarcely have
been possible for any one man in
this country to have formed the
national taste. We believe that the
moro probable cause of this prefer
ence was the fact that when the
present system of harness racing
was inaugurated in the East trotting
horses were found in greater abund
ance and were, therefore, used ir
gieater numbers on the track.
The preference for one gait rather
than the other is largely a matter of
Individual taste, it used to be said
that the pacers would not stay in
these races. This has been dis
covered to be a mistake. Doubtless
the old-fashioned "plug" horses that
paced vith their whole bodies, in
stead of their legs, were not horses
of remarkable stamina. But there
has been almost as great Improve
ment in the breeding of pacers as
trotters, and there are many of them
now that the brothers and sisters ot
great trotting performers, as well
as others, pacing bred, that have all
tbe race horse quality possible. So
far as the method of locomotion
affects stamina, the pacing gait
should bo rather favorable than un
favorable to prolonged endurance
upon the track, because the move
ment of a pacing horse produces
less strain on the limbs than the
movement of a trotter. It is notori
ous that paoers come to their speed
more easily and require less train
ing than trotters, and this point is
greatly in their favor. The long
course of education which most trot
ters have to undergo is, without
doubt a drawback for two reasons;
first because it increases the ex
pense necessary to prepare them
for use on the track; and secondly.
that it increases the probability of
their being "knocked out" before
they become bread-winners.
COTTONSEED OIL.
The Many Cses to Which Thli Valuable
I'roduct Ik Now Pat.
"It is astonishing to what a mul
titude of uses cottonseed oil is now
put , and how enormously the de
mand for it has grown, and that
makes it surprising that the merits of
the oil were not discovered eooner,"
said C J. Johnson, of Atlanta, to the
Globe-Democrat ran. "For cen
turies this important part of the
cotton crop (the seed), except what
was used for planting, was either
thrown away as waste, used for en
riching the soil or fed to cattle.
Only of late years was the mercantile
value of the oil discovered. It de
veloped very rapidly. In two or
three years mills for crushing the
seed and rendering the oil sprang up
all over the South, and the new in
dustry increased, until now I believe
the cotton seed oil trust Is second
only to the Standard oil trust in cap
ital and magnitude ot its operations.
At first the product was modestly
used for cooking purposes in place
of lard, but its sphere was verv sooa
etcise. ids eyes qo not neea to oe
taught keenness, as they a e always
on the watch to supply Information
usually furnished by hearing, but
they are taught to attain treat
power of fixedness, t-o that tho at
tention may be concentrated without
diversion upon the lips of any person
speaking.
Swinging Arms In Walking.
Many people waste a great deal oi
their strength by swinging their
arms backward and forward all the
time while walking. It is a curious
fact that the practice is followed by
one of the sexes much more than it
is by the other. An observer has
taken notes upon this subject After
standing for a good while at the
corner of Broadway and Fourteenth
street he was able to allege that
nearly sixty men in every 100, and
only twelve women in every 100,
swing their arms when walking.
Most of tbem move the right arm
with the left leg and the left arm
with the right leg. A man who
gave up the habit for a time re
turned to it for the reason that It
seemed to help him to walk rapidly.
New York Sun.
Vegetable Ivory.
The vegetable ivory of commerce
is an albuminous substance fo m :d
from a milky fluid in the fruit oi a
species of palm indigenous to several
parts of Central ani South America,
but which seems to flourish best in
New Grenada ind Peru. It corre
sponds to the meat of the cocoanut,
which latter is the fruit of another
species of palm. When vegetable
ivory nuts are ripe they are covered
with a brown skin, are bean-shaped.
the interior being perfectly white
and very hard.
I arrv'e Affection.
In the course of making an affl
davit an Irishman onoe said: "And
this deponent further saith that the
only one of his children who showed
him any real a lection was nis young
est son, Larrv. for he never struck
him when he was down."
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A P. A. SONGSTER.
Only One in Existence.
BV
REV. O. E. MURRAY, A. M. B. D.
The best collection of Patriotic Music ever
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Words and Muslo, IOO Pagaa, 102 Songa,
Prioa 29 Cents, Postpaid.
FOR SAI.
Ill THE AMERICAN.
MARIA MONK.
Paper Cover 50 Cents.
This little volume relates the terrible ex
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Black Nunnery" of Montreal It has prob-
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Fifty Years
Church of Rome,
By REV. CHAS. CHINIQDY.
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PATRIOTIC
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The Most Useful Ever Published
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ALLrNEWN-
address:
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FOOTPRINTS OF THE JESUITS.
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Octavo. Cloth. 508 pages, with Portrait of Author.
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for INDIAN TERRITORY,
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