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About The American. (Omaha, Nebraska) 1891-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 6, 1892)
THE AMERICAN, J3 MK OCT f Ml HAMl t.u 4 . n titMit-r. tH up Kt ir4 MhU!ii(f t.mr Hata 1tnT tt.t nt sy aw.m.l that I N4 o tM Hhr Mom f d lee ).uH lea I 'ml 4 jr m fi' in y hn.i i.,t 'j,. ty at H I dMt t.et Vhv" 'If' Wl ' hnV IttlitifrH wa. lth tf.1jp short Nar4 cm Ms rMw aed an nrtlia smtl M h h new titti-, q ,! honnh ml tli Mrt rwm. Vmi o yotieh honah tin dn ulsht la jMliorv at aalkln' home along lb miim twt i li ,Hiy ,Ui k ah an' couldn't vry fur, 'N' oVn Ml at one h, a man 'HnttNl Imfoh tins .r' I frighl en, ah, tut-rlMe fi lehtn'. toppe-d-d, rtlit twkui, bonah." And what tllJ this mnn J Ned J ln.itnu the Jttdire. "Well sah, 1 dunna wevvcr V ! you ah Vtleve It or n sah. but dat man bed foh bundles under hit ahm.V " "Which arms'" Koh Uod, sab, I can't o,ulte dUrtv member, but It must 'vo boon bees ulT ahm. 'N' don do man comes up w'ere I wni standln' 'n' ho says, says ho. ilho Nod. hoah's foh ham'ms,' 'N' 1 'spose, younh honnh now Uut I soo how oboryt'lng1 w doy wot do foh ham dat wm purflscatod, sah. Now. w'on dat man says, 'lleah's foh hums, ' I didn't lay nothln'. Do might bo foh ham an' do mlghtn', but dat dldn' Vldor mo. Hut w'en ho went on W says, -Say. Uno Nod, you tako done foh ham home V koop dem foh mo till next week, V Ml gib you two o' 'em,' co'se 1 took 'em lak any oolohod gent 'inen would. Uut how do you 'sposo dat I o'd tell doy wai itolen hams, snh. Is what I w'd lak tf knowf" And thus Unc' Ned oonoludod hit defense, and took hii teat, assuming a rery grlovod expression. "Describe the man who mot you and told you to take oare of the hams for him. " said the judge. "Wa-al," said Uno Ned slowly, cocking one eye and looking up at the ceiling to help his memory, "it's put ty hvhd to say, youah honah, fur it was dank, turrible dahk. Uut ez neat 7, 1 kin recolleo' he was a short, thick et sort of a man," (speaking very lowly) "wld klndah bow legs, putty big, wld a bea'yd on hees chin, V ei near ez I could soe he was kindah dah-kk complected, " describing him olf as accurately as any one could have done. Then there was a roar In the court room, says the Minneapolis Trlbuno, but "Uno' Ned" was finally acqulttod, as no one could provo that ho had committed the theft. MEN WHO BLOW OUT THE OAS. Are Mot Prod not of ths Parse rphr's llrsln Tht 1'rU flnrd. "'Welf, said a clerk in a Jersey City hotel to a Mall and Express reporter, you would be surprised to see noma of the country men who come Into this town. Moit of our customers are cat tlemon. Many of them come on all tho way from tho fur Wost with con signments. People think thoe para graphs about blowing out the gas are written up in newspaper ottloo. Why, I tell you we have to watch for that Tery thing all the timo. We send a watchman over the house every fifteen minutes during the night, and It av erages three timos a month that ho finds a room with the gas blown out "1 struck the funniest experience, however, abuut two weeks ago. The watchman came down and said gas was escaping from Na 83. I rushed up and knocked at the door. Aftor ropeated rapping the old 'Jay,' In a voice that sounded as though he hod all the bed clothes over his head, felled: 'M'way fr'm here, now. I don't want no foolishness.' " The gas Is turned on In your room,' 1 shouted. Open the door.' Upon nothln,' ho yelled bauk. O'way fr'm there.' "I put my shoulder to the door, and with a crash the look smashed and the 4oor flew open. 'What in thunder did you do with your gas Mew it outP' I asked. 'No,' he replied, I didn't blow the gas out 1 knew bettor than that' Then how did it come to be turned on, as I found UP' 'Well I s'pose 1 didn't quite un derstand tho durn thing. When I got ready to go to bod 1 turned It off all rltfht 'oough. Then 1 lit it again to get the hang or work In' It. Then I put It out again, and just as 1 did so I thought now I'll have a time finding that meanly handle In the dark and turn It on when I get up. So, bofore I went to bud I jist turnod it on so'i to have It all ready to light when 1 got up.' " II the Wflftiit. Tatrlck was an employe In ft gro cery whero the soarolty of help hnd compelled the grocer to tako In an assistant who wai entirely without experience. One riiiy tho grooor, in weighing out a purchase to a custo mer, searched about the scales for romothing. "Patrick!" ho railed out "whoro's tho pound welghtP" "The pound wolght Is it. Sure It's Mlsther Jones that has the pound weight" Mr. Jones has ltP What do you meanP" "An sure, dUn't yer tell me to be porllto to the regular customers?" Of course." "Well, thlnl Mlstkor Jones comes In the next dny fur a pound of tay. An' says ho, when I axed him what quality o' tay he wud have, 'Whatlver ye give me,' says ho, 'give me the weight? So I putt In the pound weight In the package wld the tay, perllte like, an It's himself that's gone wld It!" Youth's Companion. 1i iiARr cio. Ik t,4 ! IliM mm ri!M .! tiling " aid At.tM IWt tt ' Uitr4 will) t-i of I ()' o!uH Htint "mefHil hmn (Hlitae IfcM liHtt-e ol wn In " tt leoirtH H"Aikfj lt I l ' S0( 1 Jmi. jf. We wore Rthln l.vr" tm i" ln, rrf.l (,. I . N'.vebW hnl.iniih abor4. ftft't (NiuUn t raUh a ',tix,f4 Ihlnit One fine Miinmtr Anf, whn the nn shone on the hy ami the nHUh xr(il In the , whn we nlUl quite fsraeay to th Imi.l of Milfe nl frujf, hr tW I know It winild wnie thst IM drop into hy nio4 vor welt, on this beautiful tiny, with hot a olouil lit the attire tky an 4 all nature tltdg on very guiHl tonns with lUulf, we bimrd a low, rumbling sound in the dUUnom It wm like the moaning of the wind whn whiskers are aearoe, or whn the board of ald ermen H'ls up an opposition show, It enmo from the land of the applejack, which strikes several tlmns In one plnoo, especially if taken through a straw, and grew louder and louder, Fear and fright were visible In every eountonnnco, and we finally went below and battened down the hatches. Then It grew hot down there! Why, ono of us set au old hou wo hitd on board on an omolot soulllo, and sho hatched out a dish of scrambled eggs. All this time tho nolxo was getting loudor and louder, and tho ship was trembling from stum to item -pout and we were trembling and shivering. Then it grow loss and less, until finally It oeasod alto gether, and we plucked up suftlclant courage to open tho hatchos and to vonture on dock. WolL to out a long story short a swarm of Jersey mos quitoes had desconded upon us and had oarried away every stitch of can vas." For a moment but a momont only, there was an Intense and dramatlo silence, broken only now and then by the low gurgling of a disappearing cocktail. Then tiie I. M. gave a pre liminary hem and started In at top speed. "I can testify to the truth of that story, " he said, while tho assembled liars looked astonished. "I was sail ing past the samo spot about two days later and heard tho samo identical noise, It grow loudor and loudor in the same fashion until wo discovered It to bo that samo identical swarm of mosquitoes. Hut, gentlemen, every one of thoso samo mosquitoes wore canvas pants made out of those same Identical sails." CALLING UP BIQ GAME. VI bio Too Wtut to Call a Moot foe Mutt Talk Moos. Joe Francis, tho well-known guldo, was in liangor lately, remarks the News. In rolntlng)Nomo of his exper iences Joe Nuid: "Whllolwas with a party In the Biooso-cttlllng season, noarKaglo lake, we were out one night and suddenly came upon some young College follows who were on a hunting trip and had evidently heard about calling moose, but did not know anything about tho art for one of them was Innocently calling, in a soothing voice, 'inoosey, moosey," as If a moose were called in the same manner as kittens. "A few nights later we were out and heard a strange noise at a point on the lake not far off, I said I thought there was some one lost for that was the only way I could account for the noise. When we got near enough I shouted to tho fellows, and asked them what was the matter. They replied that they wore calling moose. 1 told them to keep still or they would frighten every moose In the state. I never hoard such an un earthly sound is. my Ufo as they were making. "I toll you, whan you want to call a moose you must talk the moose lan guage through a birch burk horn. Karly In the season when the bulls are fierce, they are more easily fooled; but it is no child's play, and If you tackle ono that has boon culled and fired at then you have got to got in some fine w '.. " ll4lvl by Appxarannas. Not long ago a young lloston man carrying a very large ear trumpet whloii was not for his own use, but for his deaf father's, was crossing the Common. A new arrival stopped him with a loud question! Bay, you tell ino the way to tho Providence deepow." Hostonlans are noarly always polite to strangers who Inquire politely their way around the crooked streets of tho Hub, but this stranger was not polite., The young man raised tho ear trumpet to his ear, "I bog your pardon," he said. "What's the way to the Provldencs doopowP'' the strangor raised his voice. What did you sayP" Twenty pea plo hnd now collected. ' What's tho way to the I'rovidoneo-dopotP" roared the In quirer, "Why, I'm not doaf," said the Ilos tanlan in a pleasant voice, and every body except tho rude stranger laughed at the rudo stranger's astonishment Youth's companion, A Tempitraiira Lrrlurn, An old colored man, who rocontly addressed a temperance meeting in this stato, said: "When I sees a man going homo wld a gallon of whisky and a half pound of meat dal's tern p'rance lecture nulT for mo, and 1 sees It OJory day; I knows that everything in his house is on the samo scale gallon of misery to every half pound of comfort." Uoiton Traveller. A VINV mMit UttfftHAUO. Mk fot ! Him n ntot t I W tttA it was In tU trow 4 (m tl.e (aiieay ia'l,Hm U,t tai1 tl iH (Hat the man HM OH the Vtfi,a trurk Mb h't fcrt fiU4 ! 'c( I.Uoyr 4 a Ua ft4 In lts oiinilb a tlrw 4v l't It M t Mntitr nt thS lm Ia4 trra itM Irt IvttM tbal I lM4 lots ol lniiltttloft kl han4 tHtetuett tk wm it an4 said I II tll ) hal I'm keetng ty. all. Il a 1)11 fh rsienue I'fflcm In Honlh tMI In (( tar tin's (ha gtttrt titan In the eountry and fan thin both handiA" A aeooiitl man vaion up and a)dati It's miabty lurky thing h's ft. Ing po, nalurod t day. I'm lold that he kuM im mn In K'ttlut ky one bunday morning imonuse he hspnil td have a hiM.U.'hrt " A third man know where ihedopir adu had Im.iI out a Ininlly. declares the Ivirolt Hmt Pro ami a lourth and fifth relaliK! other instances of oold-blooded tnunlor. The man didn't seem l know that he was being watched ami lionll He snt with the sun nt his back, and by and by we saw him begin to nod. and his pl)m foil nt his feoL "The tiger sleeps!" whispered a little in mi with mutton-chop whiskers. He sleeps now, but beware when he awakes. Ho was no doubt the man who kilted eight negroes just north of ma on tho cross- rond. I was wondering why tho village constuble didn't arrest the bad, bnj man, when a tall and slatternly woman about 40 years of ago opened the door of a mean looking shanty oppo site the depot and looked up and down the ono long street Then she looked across at us and fhndod her eyes with her hand. She made out the blood-thirsty desperado on the truck and came straight across to him. The truck was closo to tho edge of the platform, and she grabbed the man's leg and shook him awake. "Wbn what's the matter?" he growlod, as he lookod around. "You, tbar' ax woodpile git!" replied the woman, as she pointed across the street The man got down In a shambling way, shuflled across the road after her, and a minute later was working with the ax at an old knot before tho door. The man with the mutton-chops was the only one who kept his prosenco of mind when the climax came. He calmly lit a olgar, tossed tho stub of the old one away, and spouklng to the score of us said: Oentlemon, it's my opinion that all immediate danger has passed and that it will bo quite safe for any of us to go around the comer of the freight bed and tako a drink!" HEPHZIBAH'S SPEECH. Sorlbaw, Phirlians and Iffpunrltai, I , (JonlU Koop lltttar School, The old-time residents of a small town In Maine were faml.lar with two grlm-visnged and dark-complexioned individuals who traveled about tho country, each bearing a huge puck or bundlo on her bark. In winter they used a small hand-sled to carry their goods end belongings. They wore known as Hephtlbnhand Polly Austin, ays the Youth's Companion, Hophzlbah was said to have deal. Ings with familiar spirits, and conse quently was feared and shunned by thote who knew no better than to be lieve the story. Children especially were sometimes frightened to meet tho two women, although they were never known to barm any one. One day Hephzibah and Polly came down tho village stroet lust at tho noon recess of tho schooL Tho children re garded them quietly until they were supposed to bo out of hearing. Then a shout went up, "There goes Hip and Poll Austin." Unluckily thoy were within hearing, and the children, seeing Hoph.lbah drop bor bundle and run toward them, flod for refuge into the school house. To their horror sho followed; arid, going up to the teacher, related her grievance and askod redress. J lie teacher reprimanded tho chil dren, and ordered them to their seats, although recess hnd just begun, This, they supposed, was tho end of the who affair; but they were mistaken. Hephzibah grabbed the door case with both hands, and, loaning forward, aid: 'tiorlbes, Pharisees and hypo crites, I could keep a better school than this. " Then sho Joined her sister, who was waiting for hor at tho door, and both went on their way. Her meaning, undoubtedly was that sho would main tain a bettor discipline among tho scholars, and teach them to be civil, oven to tramps, like herself. Tllr Laiklnt-. An army officer writing from Fort Bohuyler, N. Y., says: "I rood with much amusement tho tVetoh In a late Argonaut entitled Our American Army,' and it reminded me of tho story of the Irish drill-sergeant in tho Kngllsh army. A squad of newly en listed men are paraded for his in spection and a preliminary drill. His little vlsorless forage cap is canted to one side as ho struts up and down the lino, tapping his leg gently with the Inevitable cane or switch. At last ho halts in front of an understood, round shouldorod victim, steps back a pace, places his arms uTrimbO, and solilo quizes: -Well what kind of a man wud it bo that 'ud go and Mist a kan garoo for the ormy with a hoomp on his back like a doir scaaping a pot fShtip out hero. Wud yo know yor faclnisP Right faeo. All, there ye go to tiro luft yor sowl, don't yo. know yor right hand from the loftP Which hand do ye bless yerself wldP Ye don't bless yerself at oil, eh P 8o ye are a heretloP Git book to tho ranks.' " WHEN YOU'RE IN lot an tiling rnuuuTaUtl on tin margin ! this !WE WANT lUt MHlDH MM NH lillTIH. NoTIoNh oiusi:th. Ill M1TS. HllOfX i.a mi's rruNisiiiNtiH. , (;U)i:h. MKN'.H miNlSIMNtiS. HATH. MIM.INKHY. DUl'CH. rUKSCKII'TIONH. 8TATJONKUY. CUOCKF.HY. (JLARSWAUE. HAUNKSS. 8ADDLE8. HAUDWAHK. HOUSE- FURNISHINGS. GHOCEHIKS. VKGKTAHLES. FUUITS. CONFECTIONERY. worthy oods, the lowest living an teeing every exactly as rep low price busi eral.all over the propose to thr THE BELL N. E. DYNAMITIC US' WORK. The frae JJ of Horn lis Filling the Pris on Throughout Half, Romk, April 20, A bomb was ex filoded lo the main street of Corleono, Hicily. All tho windows in tho neigh borhood were broken but nobody was Injured, The innkoejrs wero fright ened at;d all places of business were closed immediately. A half hour later an anarchist was arretted panting a pla card on a church door. The ploeurd an nounced that the time had come for anarchists "to write their demands in blood," and 'exhorted Hlcilian anarchists to follow the examples of their col leagues ' in l'aris, "No more words, but deeds, deeds, deeds," were tho closing words of the manifesto, Beven printers wore ar rested arid a great quantity of inlliiiii maUiry literature dated May 1, in red letters was affixed. In Faimza, near Itsvmina, one of the centers of the May Day riots in former years, a bomb was exploded at the en trance to the "periecture of police at H o'clock a. Hi, The door and U-jwere blown away.the whole front of the build ing was cracked and houses nearby were damaged badly. Four iiolleemen were injured seriously try falling rollings, and one on the ground floor received from a flying piece of stone a blow which will probobiy jirove fatal, Throughout Italy the police are milk ing larue nimilMtrsof arnmt on susoiclou. The plan of keeping anarchist susiMtct in prison otuy until arter May nay iihs been aliawloned, All anarchists lire being held and tried for criminal con siiiracy. Ileports from Havenna, Uenoa, t lonmeo, Palermo and Naples, say that anarciilstsstre lieing arretted try uo,eus arid that by Haturday the tirlsons will lie full, The plans of tlie (tollce In all cities are said to lie the incarceration of all dangerous person, and the eventual conviction, so that the backbone of the movement In Italy will be broken, I'arls l'lMr(lil-Homes KsplolUd. Fakm, April 29. The anarchists have placarded this city with May Day ap peal to worklngmen to make a supreme effort to terrorize the Iwurgeoise, In all the barracks an address has liecn dis tributed addressed to the soldiers, an- iiculing to them fur sympathy. The po lice are at work tearing down the jilv carus, ine ract mat the aoaress must have 1oen introduced into the barracks in each case by soldiers has revealed a new source of alarm. Iteglrneutal com manders have been warned if they interfere with the anarchiste that tliev and their families will be marked for death by dynamite. The notice will make a dritK"t raid In all the niianililut quarters of the city. iJotulx were ex ploded before five houses in Langeac, in the department of Haute Loire. The uoors and windows were broken and the occupant wr? thrown into a rwiiio. Nobody wai injur" "I More trouble is expected to tni on ilay Day. i,vOk Conntf fur Ulir, CliiCAfW, April 2f.-Tlie Iienublican prliiiaH b'iT ratiulted in a victory for tho I if r fiwtlon, Hie governor securing at 1 t A t. hnadrod delegates from tVH)k contitr. Tioene. with the ilbiratia atrcitdy tustmcted for Fifur, will give blia c mtni of the state convention, and mcl-fsJlr tsares hii rotciiliiilcs. To smile a welcome on you at the liv; new Hell 1 )epai tment Store, ami to lie ijiven an opportunity to offer for )our inspection a line of Merchandise of al most every description, which, for variety and reliabil ity is unequalled in Omaha. We are here to build up a business, and we mean to do it by selling only trust baits" or "leaders ' to entice you into the store, but will sell everything at leader prices. We can't say all wed like to here, but just come in and see us. We'll show you just the goods you've been looking ior not too high or too low, but just the right quality at just the right price. - COME TO-DAY. DEPARTMENT STORE CO., Cor. Dodge and 15th Streets. ntHHOVUt IIKI'UI1I,I(JA!. The Mlnnaapulls lllgatln Inatraatad far Harrison Warner for (lovarnar. JtrmmH Cm, April 20. Tho Ro- publican state convention nominated Major William Warrior of Kansas City for governor, The platform endorses the protective tariff and instructs the delegates to the national convention to vote for Harrison, Late in the afternoon the committee of fifteen amioluted to canvass for the virious office decided to recommend Henry T. Alklre for secretary of state: John M, Week for auditor! , J. Wil son for treasurer) David Mnrphy for at torney general! W, ti. Hathaway for railway cominiseloneri diaries jSagle, W, V, Hubbard and Judge W. 8. Hhirk for supreme Judges; W, W. Kdwards for appellate Judge, Ht, Louis district, and ex-Congressman John D. Hale for the western district, The Iteoubllcan convention endorsed the taridldate recommended by the committee ana aojotirnou. ALA1IAMA IlKI'tllMCANS. Ths Convantlon ftpllt and Two !)( tlons Are Mamail. MoNTooMKity, April 29. Tho Ala bama Itcpuhlican met in state conven tion, but split Into opjiosing factions, and tho result was two conventions. One wing was controlled by Chlrman Mosely, of the state executive commit tee, wiiile tiie other was conducted by bis opponents, This txxly is composed largely of coloreil delegates, who accused Mosely of trying to sell out to the lnn ocratlc party. The Mosely faction elected delegate to the national Repub lican convention and adjourned, The anti-Miwey men also electod delegate and will muke a contest for the seats. Doth factions endorsed tho wlmlnlstra tipn of President Harrison, Coal Advanced. New York, Ajiril 29. Tho eastern ales agent agreed upon the following advance jmr ton in coal: (irate, 10 cents; egg, in cents; stove and nnt, V5 cents. 1 lie estimated output for the month of May will be 279.00U tons, Suit Against Ilia Noutharn I'aclne. CiiiCAfio, April 29. The Texas rail road comwiAdoriers have filed a suit against the Houthcrn Pacific railroad company for charging higher rates on wool than those lixed by tiie commis sioners. , Afra-Aiuarlrana. Omaiia, April 29. The Afro-Amori-con League of Nebranka met in conven tion. A Unit oue hundred delegates are In attendance. Dr. Klckctts delivered the annual addnws to the leugue. The llnar. Wahiiinoton, April 29. The revenue cutter Dear sailed from San Francisco for Port Townsend. The llar will (rry suppliis to the refuge station at Point Harrow, Alaska. , i .in i Tb Wathr. Wahiiinoton, April 29. For Nebrat ka and Iowa: Fair, warmer, voriubli winds, becoming south. WANT MA1.M selling them at price, and guar thing sold to be resented. This ness will be gen store. We don't ow out any M P. MAUL, HiK.'CiiHxor to liroxel k Mnul. Undertaker and Embalmer 1417 Farnam Blreet. Tsi.Ki'iiim aa, OMAHA, NEB. H. L. BURKET FUNERALDIRETOR anfl EMBALMER, 3301 OUMINQ OSTRKKT. Telephone 077. OMAHA. NEB. ESTAIIMNIIKO IN78. - "" L TIIKO. FfiODIN, Msiiufncturer of ' oMODEL9 HciiU, Unreins llrands, ('lirwl, Hlmu'lln K-s Med lliidioiit. Hi)itlrtii( of One Hirycl and lliiihri'lliii). AIhii nil kinds of line work In Iron, Htt) and llritwt, 618 Capitol Aenue (iMAHA, NEH CALK I J WINTElt, BRICK MASON, llullder and OefiiM.I Ui'tiitlrliid, Eatlmates fiirnlMhed, 1224 N. 10th ,... OMAHA, NIB K, T. A bl.KN, M, It. kykand ka k et; ko eon 3e KaniKH 111' fc, cor lliirm-y It Iff, Omaha. ALL MY OLD FRIENDS' and former eelxinirs will Hurt roe, when thy nui'd I'ltlii'f a SHAVE or a HAIRCUT, at tin eld Dined 1004 NO. IOTH ST. wlicre 1 would lit) pli'iwd to iniivt (.num. A. VINEY. WTOT DOTJTXX , Purchase Ticket nd Consign Vour Freight via tho F, E.& M, V.and S C.&P, RAILROADS. II. (i. 11UUT. General Manager. K. U. MOUKIIOUHK, J. H. HlTCHANAN, Gen. Frcght Agt. Gen. 1 own. Agt. Omaha, Nebraska. Omaha Express and Delivery Co. Tklki'IiOne 747. 'ng and Light Express Work di'llvervd to all pnrtM of the city. Moul Trunk di'llvervd to all pnrtM of the city. (Mlt.T, :u ortli lilt II I!., at I'ruK rum on M. W. ror. I'll h a Clilcaito ma. I'KIC'ES KEASUNAULfc. J. b. Tl'HNEV, Manager. .: f