T H E AMERICAN
o
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41) U t :,..;( ti!'
I I l,.r. ),, I' : !
Hl.1 ' t1 f
n l! s "i
1 1 ,H '1 ' ''
K lr I 'urn,
s-ll ll- ' '
riu,
f ws rtippK II iniihltVt r
member what his real nnnm ., he
rut h lit Mlow when
li fir I came out t( dm hospital and
lgan to stump about on his woolen
leg. Peg was name tli hoy gave
Mm.
Three year t:o there was a letri
. cnurg of yellow fever down In
Florida Ihe smallest child who read
the Time will remember about it,
Hundred of people died, ninl hun
dred of lit I ! children were lelt fat her
lend, nml motherless, Ami homi-les. It
was n urnl Christmas time In Florida
three years ago,
1 'eg' fn! her nml mother II veil In
Jacksonville, right in that part of tho
city whero the fever was tho worHt,
Anil, seeing their neighbors ono by ono
cnrrieil out ntnl buried, they prow
frightened, for thoy thought their turn
might come next. Ho one night they
crept out. of i ho c ity, ami not on it
train lioiiml for tint north Chicago.
1'og's fa tlii-r wa a iinwic-t imu-Iht, and
lie had an idea that in tlm grout city
lie had road ho much about, whore
there were no ninny rich people, lio
would Iiml plenty o"f work, Anyway
there wo no yellow fever in t'liirno
and that was something. Hut tlo-y
liad stayed in tho Houth too long. Ho
fore tho train win half way to it m des-
tlnation they went both taken nick,
Ami whon It wan whispered About that
they had eomo from Jacksonville
there wn a panic; and the train wn
stopped in order that tho nick one
might bo carried out,
Tho instinct of Mi)!f-iir(Herviitlon
leftiU jmopln to do MelllHli and eruul
thlnRH Aoniet iniitu, Hurely It did in thin
Inntaneo, fur thitMo poor peopbi wero
loft Alono by t ho nido of tho railroad
to dip.
It happened In the nilil:, ami Vt
trho wiin fant imlei'i in tho corner of
tho iPAt with bin father' coat around
Qilin wan over looked by tho peoplo
who worfl no anxioiiN to get bin Kick
iarotitA out of their way that they
imvor thought of t int child.
Tho train rat t led on and on until It
wiin mornlhtf, and then l'c woko ntr,
I'oor lit llo IVk, ho wan all alono, fii
Jather and mother wero ono, "Thoy
got off tho train in tho nilit," Nonis
ono told luni, Nobody had tho boart
to toll blin the truth arid ho wouldn't
liav undrNtood if tiny had, for ho
wan only R year old, lint hit did ut
fbimtand that ho win alono and t hat
bo km hungry, Ho ho betjari to cry,
jiwt a any bl llo boy would bavotlomt
mnder tho niiiuo clrcunrntameM, Of
roiiro t1i people wero worry for I(t,
but their fear wan utroiwr thAn thoir
vompnANion and they dated not go
near him,
k The Pjindiietor not him nfimolhinK
to fat and told biiu Mint when they
t got to Chicago bt would m-nd biin to
Vlg hoiiHO whero t hero were ft lot of
chiidrwt, Atid l'efi beiMi to b com
fort ablo, (or ho wo only ft baby, you
oeo, mid couldn't boo peeled to un
der! and what a "ad plight bo wa In,
tintbeweat oppowiln to I'eu lay hi
father' violin, carefully dono up in it
cane. Thl violin had alway been hi
Mjinlal pride, and tlm lit tie boy womb
rod bow hi father could havo foi'Kot.
Ictj it, Anyway, It inuxt not ) left In
tho car, ho'tboindit, o when tho train
Blopped nndtbo conductor camo to
iUk biuitohi newJiomo, 1'c car
ried with him the violin, nml that wa
mil ho had In t ho world. It vnon't
mim'.U ffipltaito b.imi lifo with in n,
vrfnt city, wa It? Hut then, you mm,'
Fio didn't underNtand,
On bl way from th train Pes bmt
lidlit of t ho conductor, and whllo run
ning About, to find him bo xliptmd and
foil, A truck wa pAiift wit.li a bi
iron af upon It, and one of tho wheel
rolled riht over a poor lit tlo v$ that
lay ip It way. !' didn't remember
any more until bo found Mmelf In ft
bi room lylritf on a lit tlo whit e cot,
Around him were a lot of of her cot,
eiu h with A child Upon it. It wa tho
children' ward in a charity bopltal.
J'cK wonderod if thi wa the pbn o tbo
-conductor bad told him about, And
the.n bo wonderod what rnado all tho
children o pale, and why they wore
all in bod In the daytime, Huddonly
bo became conaciou that hi left wa
burtintf dreadfully, lie put hi baud
down to eo what wa tho matter and
found only a tnmp with ft bandana
about it, Tbo Ik wa roiio, A white
capped nunte wa standing by who
tola him bo rnumt bo quiet,
"Where' my leu?" ho ankod.
"Trie doctor bad to cut it off, bo
.Atme you loll and ft wagon crunbed
it."
"Won't they put it back on aainf"
lanki-d
Tbonuritodid not miIo he wa
too orry for her poor little pat ient
1,0 do that, but olio had to tell him,
"Hut bow can I walk?" anked the
llttln fellow, oitifullv.
"Yon will have a nice wooden b"
aid the nunw. "Of course, it won't
lie finite like a real one but you can
-walk, and now you miiHtn't talk any
jtioro. Hero I a nice bowl of broth
or you, and then you rnuet takeyour
medicine and ro to lwp,"
Tlicro vere manv lonif dav in the
lionpitAl, but At taut tho bttlo bay
wa allowed to get up. A wooden pe
wo fastened to the Hlump whero hi
3co had been, and ho learned in ft few
pl' to walk unon it.
One dav tho little boy beard a hand
organ in tha st reet. It played a tune
bin father used to play, ana mat re
minded him of tho violin. He asked
About it, and the nurse told him iiiat
t.en ht-t
I lint tin t
, f t' l'l
, ,,. in ( ,n nf
i Un'u!,l JJ( A
i .-- p t l ti mr ut
,1,1 bo l I, I I
.1 ( bM , Otvl
. . I til t t iln
t, tt env
!,, I It tr(
i ItOlllH," l-llt tt
,, )i,i,m In) Ti;ilit
l i.l , ifOed
find t In n called
, lu 1 1 tt'd,
n mi tlirhntne A fW
Mum lime tame,
. s lut dinner that
t i l to tliinV it rt
wei'Wi Win) l.i"
Tliebi) bud lift
day, fti 1 tin v
i'i.-,t treat, hn! I'-fnuMit t eat.
Tliice fiwi' liim ! in bmt btoat
Unit (billed I'l'i. d day long he
t Intuijht of t be hi i ! hm away hi n
in Jai knhvilli. It cn't A fpb if lid
home at all. fr I'e,: parent were
poor, but tline ft mother In it,
and tho poor hi tie boy wajutbe
inninit to learn that a homo without
a mother 1 a y lot lorn place in
deed. l'i'u' mother mnl to tillhbnetorie
on t'iiri! ma niylil when they oat In
front of the lire. In tho mint hern
houae theio ate bij lire place whero
they burn plno Urn, and tlm bent
place in tho world to hear a t'hrlat mas
Hiory Ih in front of a crm kling pino
lire.
I 'eg tried to remember on this
Chrialma eve, an he lay all alone in
bin little hard bed, what, It wa that
mot Iter told him on I lie niht befoco
Christmas IiihI year. What ft long
Hum no it seemed, by mid by it
camo back lo him tho old sweet
story that mothers havo told their
children on all t he Christina eves
( lint ever have been or ever will bo.
Tho story of the lll tlo child liinl, lay
in tho tnnnuer away over in Hethlo
hem, wit h t he glory of heaven about
IiIh head and in his heart a love neent
enough to redeem tint whole world
from its sin. Tho prettiest part of
tho story as I'eg remembered it wa
that over t ho hills among t ho t nrs a
host of atiKcl sang to the shepherd ft
song of peace and good will and bless
ing, and that ono of tho stars, so
much brighter than the other that
it Rcomod to light tho wholo world,
raiiin down nutnf the sky and umdod
tho wise men to the place whero they
might find tho precious gift t hat (iod
had given the world, This wa tho
first Christmas day, and tho gold and
silver add jewel which tho wise rhon
brought to lay at the feet of Jesu
wa tho first ChrinUun gift that ever
were given,
lVg lay and thought It all over: ho
could not go to sleep, A terrible feel
ing or loneliness camo over rum. It
wasn't a bit like ChriNtmts, All tho
Other boy wero nuud asleep, I'eg
crept out of hi litilu bed and hobbled
over to the window, llo looked hway
over tho city with it thousand of
light. A faint soun 1 or chiming tiell
came to him, A clock in a far away
Bteetilo struck ten time.
lliero must bo music over there,"
thought I'eg. J wish I could hear if."
Ami abnost unconsciously ho began,
to out on hi cloth. Then he took
hi violin mid Mole down the stairs,
If is wooden leg made a noise, ho ho
th'd an old st of king around it.
J'eiididn t really know that ho wa
running away; ho only knew that ho
wanted to get whero tho music was
One of tho windows downstair wa
unfastened and lie crawled out; then
ho hobbled away as fast a bo could
toward the sound of tho bells ho
Ciultl hear them quite plainly now.
It 'i a cold mght, tho wind blew In
from tho lake with a breath like ice.
i'eg' thin jacket, did not keep him
very warm, Mil he duln t mind it
much, for somehow he felt that over
there whore the bells were ruigiugsomo
thing very pleasant awaited him,
Jt was a longwey and the sidewalk
were slippery, but, Peg, holding tight
to hi violin, kept, on, At last he
reached the belli, llo stood under tho
very shadow of tho cathedral, Tho
big window were one blaze of light,
and from ono of them looked down
upon tho little shivering boy t hat face
full of divine compassion that basso
comforted all hem t-broken and lone
ly one who ever saw it.
It was ft picture of Christ, tho shep
herd, an 1 in hi arms ho boron poor
helpless lamb, I'eg looked at the
picture wistfully, Justihen tbo great
organ played and a beautiful voice
said: "llo shall gather tho
lamb in hi bosom," Peg
st-retched out bis arm to the picture.
The big tears wem- running down hi
cheek, freezing AS they fell, It seemed
to him that there came a smile upon
tho tender face of tho shepherd and
then, In spile of tho cold, in spito of
tho fact that be wa all alone, t here
camo into hi heart a feeling of peace,
lie felt warmed and comforted he did
not know why, Willi his lit tie numb
ed hand be undid tho violin, seated
himself ngninst the stone front of tho
church, and began to play. It was a
simple bttlo melody, but somehow
there seemed ft strain of heart break
In it, And the people who were coming
out of the church stopped to listen.
They never forgot the picture of tho
little pAle-faced cripple standing there,
the snow falling on his bare bead, and
the face of the Divine bheplierd slim
Ing above him.
riuddeiJy a man pteppod out of the
crowd and ran up to tbo child.
"Where did you get that music?" he
asked, in such an eager voice that I'eg
wa frightened, but he lowered hi vio
lin And answered: "My father wrote
it and this is my father s violin.
"Your father!" gasjie! the man, and
tken he seized hold of tbo littlocriiiplo,
lifted him tin to tho light, iiushcdback
his hoir and looked into bis face, "It
is. it ia!" ho cried. "O Ood, my fath
or. I thank thee!" and. folding the bt
tlo boy clone to bis heart, just as the
Hhepberd above wa holding tlielamb,
lie leaned against the stone pillar and
sobbed out bis joy. For it wa Peg
own father. Ho had not died that
nifht when they left him by the side
of tne track, though tho mother had.
Some people who had lived near
I b. it ( . 1 i" '
t. -V I t :l ..
l;4t ( : I-
M t in i. t '
t!.- ,
1 I'! ! It i
is' I
V.-t Wi I,'! '5
t . I ) fi pi V I 1 t '
t' t !' A I'! ' l-!'-
In i n I ' i; i
! I t Kl-
l-tti tl ir In.i'l :
. " ' ! ! :
noli I n I I I 1 '
bci-.l. i t '
bun, nidi hmt b1''
liiitl 'b'l') " I'd 11
JW bn-l otilv ' (
I H t I -1 f i 1 . li e
folks sn,t I Vi it st. t " Moid be
ff.-t m'! It Stlil.t t.. I i,K ., n
I 111 in I, It .It! f. 111 j.-l
I'll t.il , .,. I J M',. t. .1.1
h.,1,'..S M ,1't t'"i V("
I,. i t, (..) J i.i (, in. I ,
hit W I It. ,H,.,. 1,1,1 'lif till
WIM,). l ng .Lnv, ,l j di'iivV ft Wl j
tlllirf I,, , iin. , tl,,. p. i.) i il
- 1 lf tr-.l stfunl lo ititilit tl ii. iv
it as t il i m!j In'd by tb 'd
fl tn-r Sill I Mill iie I Hiit'bl i! I hi
cool i nut i. 1 mo ti I .i' hit i.( t In ir Imp
V I I'M i h'l'lii'h and p.ir l-.ll!eiit
jib-l I'i'if A lortii took of! bis but end
pni-. t tiinnti l no I I l,e i i' In li li 'I
It to lbs bum.
"No I il go home," said lY's tat It
ri;aiidlbiy nml Pig an t b'lie-
Hunt' miy Miorc. I be whim lout ni l-
lenly uiottn a bemitilill pla.e, lull of
hue and hd.p!tnt, end tby
. ..' . . .i .
pittHed ilown the ! n't I hi re ca me t it
tbnu tiom onollurdHirih A jubilant
chorus, singii u:
I'ibi o mi vmili, k. nut l!l 1'iwni'l mm,
Jn ',",U"'
TME ELEVATOtf M AN'sT'NODLBM
Why Do Mt, All Whiatl In Ml
Convfjynnoe,
Mike, bo it known to you, I tho elo-
vntor inn n!
Mike is more than this. He 1 a
philosopher a sort of mitgo in his way,
i .. i ... i . . .. i . ...
-inn, w iiiti is more, is nil aeui.o Bin-
dent of human nature who read men
a well as book and daily news- li't' fnmi lr. .tones for a set of teeth
j)(lp(,,,H you bought from him and haven t
Just now he Is hard at work trying j1""'. y,"," j,,t, try to get them then!'
to solve a problem that occurred to aid the tall woman, as she pinched
him t he other day. i her lips together in dellauco.
"I've been pulling this elevator ropo 1 " 'Vcll .na.lan.,' I pleaded, hope
, ,. ., ., , , ' you II make mo no trouble. Ill havo
ho long," said Miko tho Other day, (o got those teeth.'
"that I've got inosl, things about this I " 'Your lingers will bo bit il you do,'
business down pretty lino. Hut there's nho flashed.
one thing t hat got mo and that I' "After I saw nil argument was futile
can't make out. I called in a wit no in tho shape of a
"What I can't understand is why 'policeman, n-nd wo proceeded to open
every man who gets into mi elevator tlWt woman's mouth,
want to whistle. Of course, it's the I "Cmally she seemed very docilo and
regular thing for boy's to whistle in opened her mouth, I put in my hand,
nnv placo they happen to be, but with , heii suddenly lliomi chops closed,
men it's different. There's n good and my! how my lingers did hurt,
many men that don't whistle and1 "The policeman got out the teeth
don't want to. f know 'cm a soon finally, but I carried my right hand in
as I see 1 hem. There' bank presi-
dents. Hank president can't alTord
to, Then there' editors; they don't
whistle much either, No ono oversaw
ii poleeoiunn whistlo when any one
was anout,
:a;:nz slvi'ss
nml before they have gone up ton feet
their mouth are puckered up and
they are trying to whistle. It never
fan. Men who would never think of
whistling no sooner get into this box
than they try to mako mocking bird
fif theuiselves. And such whistling a
it is, too. Most of it is like tho squeak
of a cart axle t hat want greasing.
I've looked this here thing over and
over, and I can't make it out. I'd
like some smart js'ison to tell mo
what there in in an eleyator that not
men to whistling?"
Her I a chance for psychologist to
come to the front, Mail and Kxpress.
FUmnrkabln Stone-Throwing.
Tho old oyingthat"Prnelieomake
perfect" must be taken with ii grainof 1
allowance. Perfection i a rare com-
...,i,.,. i, i ,.... - . ...... .miii,
IIM'i III ti I'OV I'HTi III' i i" in it? linn i-m.ii;. '
even in the most unexpected places,
men who havo attained to tho most '"""
astonishing proficiency in some one1 "1 nk of yoii.ft realer sacribco
thing to which they have devoted than tlm , he sighed,
themselves. The IturaJ New Yorker ro- 1 J ''?!' "f " "",t W was trans
ports a striking instance of this kind: figured into a woman now. ,
A man died recently in Pcnns) Iva- '' Y '"' , Wr)y
nlft whr. ,,. r.u.i.lllv b.lb'ienl . f.nt. A, med, "t.O gO W 1st lllld II V III ft tlllf
Kiiijit physically, and whocould throw
slimes will, an aimns unerringasthat
of tho most skillful handler of the rillo,
Ho had a large leather pouchatta bed '
to one side of hi coat, in which hoab
ways carried a goorl supply of these
arefully selected missiles. With these
ho bagged every year no small quan
tity of gamegrouse, quail, rabbit
and sipiirrels.
llo count kill ft bird on the wing or ft
rabbit at full speed almost a easily
a at rest, A favorite method of dis.
Maying rus ssiu wa rosei upascyvnif
.1...1.. ...i .i i.:.., ....,( ,. ,c,.
'laying his skill was to set upaseythtv
Wdl'liT, ,-',jii7 I,., nr., 'I linn, el, I i,,-
tancoof ono hundred feet cut apple
in halve by throwing them against
the edge of tbo blade, lie could al-
most exactly halve two out ol every
tnroe Apple no tnrew.
No Economy, No Man.
Bl ingines i a curso to the Individ
ual ruled by it; but thoughtless prod
igolity is no virtue. The Individual
who doe not and will not practice
,.... U ,.. lini.l,, tn ,ii,l nfc
.7. vi.w.Mj, .r. . ......... . - . .. ...
length, that no Pa not nmg eiiner to
prodigal with, to ja act ice economy
upon. That eccentric but wise-headed
old philosopher, liogenes, once taught
in S lesson n; Hiiuiuer in i why imwui-
iarlyhisown,
piogenes, begging, a wa the custom
among many philosopher of ancient
t iuios, asked a prodigal man for more
than any ono else, A bystander, nee-
i , g thi, s,.id to him,-
7,i ..,' i. iv.,.!-
find a liberal mind, you rnakethemost
of him."
"No," said the philosopher, "but I
moan to beg of tho rest again,"
meaning that tho prodigal man would
noon have nothing to give.
Fact That Sound Llkn Motion,
Where I the novelist daring enough
to match this? Mr. Charles llrayley.of
1 pi'7 ftl iMiniiiimri. I nnv itim ii vi
Hrighton, Mas., eloped with her fui.
hand' brother. Ilrayley got a divorce
t -...I ..... tri.
The
became the leader of a society for the Aw"illy uu,' ft"' '"P- , 8katt)d a11
aid of fallen women, and also remar-1 over the river with them,
ried, Mrs. Urayley No. 2 also eloped i !;frc.,;ul . . . . T .
wilh the name brother, and amona . "Oh, it wa such un! Hut I went
those who called to offer consolation
to Mr. Ilray ley was wife No. 1. Hhe
made a special journey over from
Lynn, for t his purpose, sayinu: "I am
interested in this sort of work nw,
And I will do all I can for Charles."
Homebody ought to do something lor
thebrother-in-law. Waterbury Amer
ican, i
i
UllHt A t 1 I MI'I- At 1VH tV
At I I 1.1 H MIIMIII'IOI H,
iw t I'R I ... I t lt.',. .m-.t A
ff 1 t tl' H. nli,
. A I III1
I'tH ' I iitt V t inns
tiii'l
1,'ivnv yitu TwelM,
Tlicn f"i"l !. jtt t it, I lu'f they
pnm f be tioni t"!:nj stiii tt 1 1"
Itl'M ksbte 1 I it. bun Ill itnl npbtiliS
I In) hate in tie, ;) the ft. lemi
do. lib le.
' I'mnit abb t ou'M to, Murpliy, lnn ,
H,,,.,),, Min,,n nMd n do?, il olber.
,. . . i i ,. i',.iu
were thus t Hl'iIi '1 W In II I nlist a He
Mall flni bun told tme that dipped
1 1 he climai,
"Two years ago," said be, "I bad
j very sore lingers, and I i.ev. r t ill How
,0,', h" rn ,,,,rL
"Tin re wa a dentist on Olivestreet
Ibat bad sold a woman a set of f.tNe
, teeth on time payments, hhe didn't
.keep up tho payments and the dentist
na nut to us to get out a writ of ro
plevin. I went to execute it. I
knocked nt t be door.
"'Are you Mrs. (Smith?1
'V,i
r
I "'Well. I havo a writ of replevin
, I"'K for two weeks alter."
The Sacrlf io Too Great,
The momentous question had been
propounded. Largo pearly tears
I clung to her drooping cyelashe and
7 l wilh, rot,on',i,,Mt
tetirn havo clung and bosom havo
heaved under similar circumstances
,. tho days of tlm cave dwellers,
... ... ,' ., , i u,
Ho held her band clasped to Ins vest,
! I poor," tho youthful
iuppliant faltered,
1 A gloriowscitirago invested her being,
H. ll!u,i .,u
,81 ' I IT, , ,,
"Mr.-Mr.-Alfred.
It wa her answer, ft sinelo word,
sequent with unutterable lovo and
trust.
"Alfred."
"My life."
"11 am not afraid of poverty."
He folded her to his bosom, fairly
Intoxicated with joy,
J'"1 ""V'1'1 Uvo n Io
c'Ai ,"; '1"!'1"'"' . .. ,
A look of pain Ibtl.ed iieroa his face
t - , , ,
and he was fain to bow his heaa to
dWut?" . ,. ,.,
"' Wl 1rft,n'
tVv r'i ' V '
ll" bravo jady blutcln-d and ft pit-
con expression ot terror toon po.
Session of her face,
"Alfred,"
Ifo could only sob,
"Doyou ask mo
Hbo had to stop ami shudder nwhiln.
"Do you ask ma to live to to live
in ft flat with modern conveniences?"
His silence was his acquiescence and
hi doom, Palo, but diguilied, she
-
boiniced him.
, ... . i , , I'll.,, 1
"' "IMt '"', ym K"","'l,t H,fl
,U'"J roiTitrko;!,
Mechanically bo moved toward tho
u Jy'
You need not call Again, sir,"
And so they were not married.
Cliicago Tribune.
A Little Boy Fun.
American Mother ''Where in tho
WOrld havo you been allt
. tn am...
,0'ien women to ileal n.
i all thi thn? I've
,l, ilnu.i.
i " ,..v..
little ways, down to tho docks,"
I "Horrors! 1 told you not to go on
' tlmt doi-k "
I ,. . i .
"Oh, I didn't go on tho dock, I went
down alongside of it t o throw stones
on tho ico. It wa great fun,"
ohl"
... . ...
. . "yp-: , lh0 J1! " fc K
thrfiugli, tho ico wa so thick."
i i tit m -
days."
IV II rl IIMilSlllH IV i V 1 1 V
"till, there' plenty of ico there yet.
It wa so thick I walked out ft way,
and it didn't crack hardly at all."
Humph!"
"And when I walked it didn't wave
up and down scarcely any. Ho I put
on my skate to eo if it wa further
on my skate
it
"wnatwi ion io a me tnau youi
I ! wre at the shopboingsharpen
! fid'
"Hkates! You told me that your
! ed.
through an air-hole.
"Horrors! I"
"It wa real funny bow it wa. I
went in ono air-holo and a man pulled
mo out of anothor one further down
Ko I heard. I don't remember any
thingaboutit.but It wa awfully jolly
Then they took me to a hospital."
"What?"
I liVnei'trt T fliuf fl f 'im 'Ttlttv'pA
Tt.i' 1 . . m 1 Ai.-I ibrt
.!,.. ','. .1 i K , -I"..? I l '
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st'OI I i i in I ,i l , i . III . l.tit.- Ut
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i.lw M lt
A f.i'ii'i r i i'i i l t , ' m j! il
01 t I i 1 1 , . oik, " 1 &el tb
it-., --.i. . (u a (iiii ui ii, ( ,t t..
iiiji"i I li t Wlb Pii tenll
Wi r t OtK-f t", t. , , I 1
Tint sit it.iwn nii'l Wftiii'l, No
Answer i line, lie wailed ti!l late in
t be i t t'ltiitg, i ill tut ntiw i f
Pal ly t h in ut iiioihiitj be ifliue:ii
n,;'iin an I was h iinb d a dipnti li
nn a tin niat it e ii ply.
The opi iattir cipienseil bis Mnpa
I by,
" 'Twos a lit He louh to k,, p jon
so long itt suspense,"
"Look beie, toung feller," said the
fanner, "I'll stand all the suph ne.
A. woman that 'll hold hark hi r on
swerto a proposal of marriage nil
day so ns to send it by night rates is
lest the economical Woman that I've
been a-waitin' for,' Chit ago , lout 'mil.
Very Good,
Hojoiirnet in barbarous countries
find the native illustrating their
talk with comparisons which sound
rather grim to civilized ears, An em
ployeo of tho Kongo Freo State
writes that bo had in his service a
black man who was almost always
accompanied by an iipo, of whom he
aeemed very fond.
Ono day the native appeared with
out the animal. "What havo you
done with your monkey?" asked tho
whit o man.
Monkey? Me eat him up!"
"You nte him! Are monkey's good
to eat, then?"
"I'm taste same like white man!"
said tho negro, with an air of keen
appreciation.
Down She Goes,
"One would suppose," observed tbo
Telegraph Editor, as tho news of tbo
wreck of tho Kider camo over the
wires, "that tho Kider would be thfe
last ship on the ocean to sink."
"Why so?" asked the sporting Ed
itor. "Well, an Kider ought to swim like
a duck, hadn't It?"
"Yes, there is that view of it; but
I here i also anot her one, with an op
posite course of logic,"
"Name it."
"Isn't it commonly supposed that
eider and 'down' are closely related'"
Pittsburg Chronicle.
Takinu Toll.
An American lady, visiting Paris,
was continually interested in the
smart little boys, in while caps and
aprons, who deliver the wares of the
past ry-cook. One day she said to
one of these boys who bad brought
her some cakes:
"Ah, I suppose you get t he benefit
of one of these cakes yourself some
times!" "What do you mean, madamc?"
"You eat a cake now and then?"
"Katthom? Oh no, midame, that
wouldn't do, I only lick 'em as Ictmio
along!"
Whero the Muse are Tabooed.
"Why," said the Chicago poet to the
c parrot who had perched near hi
casement, "do you dare such familiar
ities? Io you consider yourself my
equal in importance?"
"Your superior," replied the spar
row, wit h confidence,
"Why?"
"Jiecause anyone 1io kills mo get
two cent in addition to tire thanks of
I ho community, "In your case," tho
audacious bird continued, "ho would
only get tho thank," Washington
Post.
A Sure Sign,
"I seo tho editor of tho Huglo take
In five dollars to-day," said ono burg
lar to another,
"H'poko wo go round an' git It to
night,"
"All right,"
That night nt the stroke of twelve
they stood under tho Huglo editor'
window.
"It's no go," said one, after peeping
through the blind. "lie's broke again,
I seo bun on his knees snyin' his pray
er. Indianapolis Journal.
Small Expectations.
Tho Princeton Tiger print what
purport to be a conversation be
tween an undergraduate and hi
cousin, a young l idy,
Hhe Will you write to mo on your
return to college?
He Why er you know I, can't
write.
Wio Oh, I don't expect you to write
brilliantly or amusingly; just write as
you talk.
Good Evidence.
Now then," said Judge fiweetzer in a
loud voice, "Mr. Haiimgarl nri', you
wero present at this fray, Hid Mur
phy the plaintiff seem carried away
with excitement?"
"Nein; bo vos carriedt avay on two
piece poardf s mit hi beadt; split oben
all down bis pack."
"That will do. You rnny stand
down." Judge.
Feminine Gratitude,
Overheard in the railway station.
First Young Woman Oh, don't go
into that car, Mag; that's all full.
Plenty of seat in tho next car.
Hecolid Young Woman Oh, come
along! Some fools will get up and
give u their seatu Hofcton Tran-ecript.
hfW TMINH in for ft NO.
I '
I-, fii t r in
M.ll
0i
II e d-l
nt.
i t' nt ptiv
p"l' M
Hie ( .Hi U i"'tii'.
Nut tti Sljjbt.-nl,
; II eu .'isi'l
1 tw 1 1 rf" Cr illbtj
lhl !. il. ! V.i It A fi W - I '
i lii'.ioi wotil tb.i 1,'tifjih of tlm t
tiste u!lii','4 ii i itd lensl you,
i lh teiiiiil ii;alr wbbU b
b"-it llidirt no tAUr yeil uatvernsMy
A'liHo-l nal pi'H'e.ttii) tut IslCe elistieit
K-r ttst of ii.v , . l-eieg -i'it!b.d
whlUjo.i I eii,rt.iii..t ipn-en over tlirt
henru of iiii,iri (M more worthy!1
Mi (in Isirmet JVifectiy willini.
onbl j,m pr fer mo l nitihe
the pntposal siiMiiting or knleUeu,
Kim (oorreelly htwering her pjeV-
I think the latter way would im far
belter form,
llo Would ynu piN.for the doclar.
Hon In longungo fervent, fierce and
outRpoken, or iiiteoso, piumioimto and
contained?
She (with considerable proinptne)
-Kervltl flere and outspoken.
lie And would you deem It Indis
creet If the proposer, during tho dec
larallon. should print somo kisses on
the hand of tho proposco?
Hhe (with arllos candor) Yos. If
there wore anything bettor and more
satisfying reasonably contiguous.
Ho If ho encountered a foeblo op
position merely, would you consider it
unwlw on tho part of tho proposer
ehould ho pass hi arm around the
propono' waist?
She (frontly but firmly) It would
be, Ithlnk. a matter of extrorao regret
if ho failed lo comprehend the possi
bilities tho situation prosontod.
Ho And In ciwo the proposed
should, after slight resistance roulizo
those possibilities would you consider
such slight resistance sufficient encour
agement to justify him in fondly fold
Ing tho propOHoo to his heart ?
She (fts boforo) Undoubtedly.
llo Thitclng It for granted, then,
that tho last situation has boon con.
aummated, can you seo any roason
why the proposor should not rightly
regard himself In tho light of a maj
nlllcont euccoss ns a wooer?
Hho (promptly) I can not
Ho Or why ho should not bo Joy.
ful In the thought that for tho nonce,
at least ha Is his and ho hors?
Sho (with somo lmpationco) No.
lie Now, appearing to you as be
longing to that sox which intuitively
Bees and understand tho peculiar pro
prieties of an omurgoney of this sort,
aro thore not occasion more appro,
prlato than other for a declaration of
love?
rihe (trifling nervously with hor
hondkorchlof) Thore are. The elo
monts of tlmo, place, and liability of
Interruption must, of course, bo prop
erly regarded,
Ho Ho you believe the
contain those oloments?
present
filio (trifling moro nervously with
hor handkerchief) I havo no doubt
of It.
Ho You also Vllsvo, do you not
tait ta to, inclinations In act all
dispositional characteristic aro found
to bo conspicuously similar, moro on
poolally in family groups?
hho (trilling most nervously with
hor handkerchief ) Certainly.
Jto Wow, for Instance, you and
your sister aro, I funoy, vivid Illus
trations of this truism?
fcho (elevating hor eyebrows) Yos.
Mabel and I am, ho fur as preference
and dislike aro concornod, singularly
1 in liar.
Ho I your sister nt homo?
riho (slowly looking him over) I
think he Is.
llo Will you toll her, ploaso, I
would like to seo hor alono? London
Tld-Hlt.
fttrnw Hill
Long ago In England men could
bo easily found who, for a certain
prlco, wero willing to perjure tlmm.
selves by falsi) swearing in a court of
law. A straw worn In one of their
ihoe sign! lied thai they wanted
employment Theso gentry could
tioiut of a high antiquity thoy hung
around tho ancient courts of Orooco,
wherei from tho manner of making
known their occupation, they wero
kjiown by tho unmn of straw hoe.
An advocate or bwyor who wanted
a convenient wllnes know by thoito
sign whore to find ono, and the collo
quy belwnon the parties wa vory
brief. "Don't you remember?" ay
tho advocate. Tho parly looked nt
the foe and gave no sign, but the foo
increased, and the powers of memory
Increased with It. "To bo sure I do."
"Then come Into court and woar It!1'
And itraw shoo went Into court and
wore it Athens abounded In straw
hoc. Thoro nro plenty of straw
shoes still, but tboy do not wear thoir
distinguishing mark.
Appearances AkhIiinI III hi.
Office boy Thoro Is a rqan outstdo
who says he has a play hb want you
to road.
Manager How I ho dressod?
Office boy Oh, he's -out 'o sight'
silk hat. patent loatber and box
coat Manager Tell him I'm not In; ho
must bo an amateur. Clothlor and
Furnisher.
In I'ront of the Morton llounn.
First Ktar Whon I played in f-'an
Francisco the pneplo took tho horo
out of my carrlago, and
(Second Star Humph! That's noth
ing; whon I appoared on tho stage In
Chicago tho people kissed all the
leather oil tho carriage." Texas bitt
ing. In Si'ir-lti O'iiio.
"What would you do, John, If I (jot,
up In the middle of tho night as some
enthusiast do, to play tho viollnP'
"i would get up and play the
ri