CI A' Kit At wi.t,r.jiir,n -i m.o A P.fAL f'CZT. at III ! IM.In'l Want Him la Mart la a lietil. "Ye, air," wr ut on tb r"ntlemiiT) from Cornc)!ville a lie tln-r ij h! pnuta and took a neat in th i: tor's tilQce, "t h-rr ain't nouw a-talkin. I'trt? got one o' t lit KuartPKt boys to hum )e ever an I've some in town toi.iy wii b tbe sole obji-ct o find in a pl;f for him w litre he uiitcbt have a chaixe to 1ft bis great, big useful twa nr.H'riMj." "Indeed?" interrogated the editor weari ly "Ad J in what channel does your son's talent run f" "Oh, It's all to writin," cam the answer. "all to writin. Ton my soul, It jeM beats all the way that boy kin write. W hv, sir, he's got yard an yards o' stuff writ out up to bam, an i m swindled if he can t beat anything I ever heerd. He wriu-s po'try. 70a know, an that's mighty bard to write. We've only bad 'bout a dozen real poets, anlnd yer, so Bays the teacher to hum, an Biy boy's a-coin to make another one." The editor gave a sib and looked as if be would like to hear Gabriel sound tbe note that time wan no more. "Now, this here, as fur as I kin remem ber," went ou the hayseed visitor, scratch tng at bin head, "is one of bis ponies pomes, mind yer, an my boy writ it:" "The trees wax full of leafy leaves; The sun shone bright an fair; The birds wui sing-In sweetly, an The wind blowed through the air. "Now, what do ye think o' thatf Don't that rhyme immensef Well, my boy writ that, an be's got barrels more Jess like it. Now, I've beerd as bow some men make Blighty big wsges writin stuff fur papers, n I'm la town today to make arrange menU fur my boy." "Well," tbe poor editor managed to say, Clslng bis eyebrows, "if you want your y to enter a newspaper office, I think I an give him a job." "That's tbe way to talk. Wbat'U it bef" MI can make bim tbe 'devil.' " "Devil f I s'poM that's one on a paper that jeaa writes stuff what makes people roar an keeps up tbe old Harry all tbe time, "No; it is not that." "Iteckon It's one that prints the paper then?" not so hilariously. "No." "Well, what Is it then, and how much'll kegltr "Well, It'a the position of one who Is tit learning tbe printing trade. He will required to delve In grease, oil and ink, and his wages will be t-J a week." "Hah I" excluimed the farmer, jumping 0 his feet. "Delve In grease, oil and ink D git $3 a weekl Why, you old bald beaded SckHss, if my wife'd hear you say such a ing she'd fill yer mouth full o' smashed teetb. Delve In grease, oil and inkl Bay, look-a-berel If you'll jess lay down that there pen an come out on the sideMfllff gum diiHt if I won t wittier tjrfoiiHtitut ion over tbe hu)l.s3iivwfrAly sou's a poet, he s, an" ye've Insulted him. Ye kin jess cratcti my name off yer book, for I'm mithered if I'd read a line in yer rotten Id paper for $471" And the door banged after him. Boston 'Courier. His Conclusion. When General Tom Thumb and his wife were on their return from their wedding tour In Europe, they stopped for a day or two at Hartford, but did not place them wives on exhibition. Tbere happened to be in Hartford at the time an old farmer from tbe neighborhood ft Litchfield Hill, who heard that Tom Thumb was In tbe place and resolved that M would see him before he went home. The farmer found his way to tbe hotel where Tom Thumb was stopping, and was old to go, If he wished to see him, to a cer tain room on the second floor and rap on the door. The farmer went np and knocked, as he was bidden, Dut it happened that the worn was occupied by a certain Colonel Jones, a prominent politician who lived in an adjoining county and who was a man f enormous stature, measuring almost 7 feet in height. Tbe colonel had already been rallied a lit tle on the fact that his next door neighbor down the corridor was Tom Thumb, and when the visitor knocked at his door be was rather out of humor. "Come in!" he called out. , The farmer opened the door and peered in. "I'm a-looklu," he said, "for General Tom Thumb." "Sir," said the colonel, raising himself to his full height, "you see him before you!" "I want to know! Ho you Tom Thumb?" "Yes!" "You don't say sol" said the farmer. "Waal, I guess you've grow ed some sence yon had your pictur' took, hain't ye?" Youth's Companion. A Laughable Story. A few workingtuen were discussing the fames of great scientists in Manchester. The name of Darwiu cropped up. One of the company, less learned than the rent aid: "Darwen; I kua that place. A've beeu char mouny a toime." ,lGet out, you fooll," said another. "We're nut talkin about the place called Darwen, 'but the inon. llevn't ye nivver heerd o' Darwen? Why, if it hadn't been for Dur weu we b'ouid all hev been chatterlu mon keys, and nut gentlemen, like we are." Sheffield Telegraph. A Philosopher. "Terrapin," said Mr. Dreflleshort, "is one of those thiugs that come high that you don't have to have." And he laid the bill of fare down and heerfully ordered fried liver. - Chicago Tribune. Bore Trace of Hie Guilt. "Harold Honesteele," said the beautiful girl in scornful tones, " 'tis useless for you to try to deceive me. You have been shav ing yourself; your face betrays you!" Puck. The Yery rirst Tklag May it you were I, what would you dot tfacs well, nrt or all, I'd let me itaa yvu.-Llfe. r4 Oat. 84 Claudia OK I was sa my, vert sorry to mi y ouv warn 1 oaiiwi ruwy. t.Uiro-1, too, iMrtlwl It el euur, Hut 4 toll tttewby fw tw m my, vry eurry, CUtiD4u I'd jut ana yMi uur the bmt art BtiaUaa Wo. a. -Truth. ff.J m 3fc, r ffHE PUZZLES Co. 8RS. Thm Coning of Santa f !. Comlne with merry fwt to rouna and old. Where no and tee would block his onward way; Strive tbey in vain bis eager stj to stay. For Santa C'laus Is eurlxut as bold. Why should be not know what tbe ovens bold? Koch odors tempt bim. and he most obey. Schoolboys and matrons, grandbires, maidens gray. Forirl ve bim If be warms bis fingers cold While waiting. Arrows from his mystic pack Wlsa fellow, see him choose! These (from mr bows) With shaft of silver, tipped with Jewel rare. Aimed with the skill which love alone imparts. Shall strike the center of the coyest hearts. Lest Santa Clans be slighted, then beware!" Take one letter from each line of this verse and you will find an acrostic which spells a Christmas greeting. The letters will be tbe same in distance from the be ginning of each line. Co. 34. A Cola Punl. Insert tbe name of a United States coin wherever a coin Is shown in the illustra tion. How will the sentence then read? St Nicholas. Mo. 88S. Double Acrostic. The letters in each of the following 18 groups may be transposed so as to form one word. When these are rightly guessed they will answer to the following definitions: L Relating to color. 3. Half a poetic verse. 8. A name for buttercups, given them by Pliny, because tbe aquatic species grow where frogs alound. 4. Just 5. Benumbed. 6. Shaped like a top. 7. Tbe summer solstice, June 21. 8. Mineral pitch. 9. Layers of earth lying under other lay ers. 10. The more volatile parts of substances, separated by solvents. 11. Accused. 13. The goddess of discord. . 18. The utmost point 1. I match rx. ' "Slit' hit wic. 8. I run clau II, '4. A limp rat, I. 5. Fed, I set u' A. I run at liet. 7. Hi mm mused. t.' I'ut a kbam 1j. 0. As tar tubs. 10. I rust cent. 11. Dime peach. 12. Carl is odd. IX Exliy tiuie. When tbe above letters have been rightly transposed and tbe words placed one below the other, tbe primal will spell a festal time, and the finals will spell an anniver-1 sary of the Church'of England held on tbe 128th of December. ' No. 386. Something Mice. Johnnie enjoyed his Christmas dinner greatly. Oh, yes; but tbere was something lacking, in his opinion, so he set about sup plying tbe deficiency. First, he took a quarter of a mince pie, then a very small piece of chocolate, next a crumb of tread, and to these he added a bit of cranberry sauce and tbe last of the turkey. After combining these he bad something so white and so dellclously crisp that he knew at once that the missing article of food bad been supplied. A Literary Cariosity, A western paper is responsible for the following: A few days ago a supposed dead bull wan seen lying by tbe side of the track on the Northern Pacific. Tbe matter was promptly reported to the superintendent's office, and he in turn sent out an order in tructing tbe section foreman to remove tbe dead animal. Shortly afterward a re ply was received which distinguishes the foreman as a man of superior tact, although his rhetorical powers have doubtless been sadly neglected. The epistle runs thus: "The Kupt Sir, The bull that was killed by the train, was not killed, but she died from eating too much buckeyes and ain't ded yet, but will bury him tomorrow. An swer if I shall skined bim. Thos. O'Flah erty, Sec. Fornian." Confiding. Down in Virginia a robbery had been committed. The linger of suspicion pointed to a negro servant, and he was arraigned before the local justice, who happened to be the negro's old master, to whom he was still intensely loyal. He made no defense or denial as the judge laid the evidence point by point, against him, and sentence was about to be pro nounced when suddenly the real culprit was discovered. "Why didu't you say you didn't do it, George?" asked the justice. "Why." said the faithful old servant, "you's a hones' man, judge, an If you say I la the man, den I is the man, but you see I ain't tbe man." Youth's Companion. Mo Puller. The man was driving a sorry old horse along the road, hitched to a light wagon, when he met a chap from town. "Mister," he said, "air you from the city?" "Yea." "What do you think this horse of mine OQght to bring there?" "He ought to bring a load of wood or track, I should say," laughed the traveler. "Hut he wou't," sighed the owner, never letting on he saw the joke, "and that la why I want to sell him. "-Detroit Free Irese. What lloeldod Ilia. "It's no uwv" said the poet to the barber, "I will hav to get my hair cut" "All right Want It prvtty short?" "Ciuae up. I want the job attended to thoroughly." "IMig hair Wu't Is style any mors," ven taml tbe barber In au effort to be genial "It Un'l the atylrt 1 care tor. Just a few minute ago I wu Introduced to a man, and he Mid, 'Which do yon play, football or the pUuo?"-Kchiig. HI Argassewt "But why should 1 give yoa money lt toad of work ?" said the householder to (be tram jv "It's mr simple, sir returned the tramp. "If I did the work, you'd hate to have It dune ever again. I'ut stub, a poor hand at wk. It's money la your tkt to pay we ad UH we gu,HIUrpr'e lkar. Two ! ti4ef Aaal Stor KVwtrdw llr hi another ly that ka Mt a water y giave. landlady-Vkn I It? Ktr ttirdrl this Mtoher of tlk. Puck A nXllXXATI IIAllli fIL- If if t T . 1 . . OoEg'atn'ated A f mark able Case of Being Completely fared ot Paralysis After Neatly Three Yean of Suffering a'd Eminent Physicians Had Declared Their B st Efforts Bffled. Newspaper men ai a rule place little credence in patent medicine s'oriea and peldom bother to even read thera Thin is not to bA wondered at when it is taken into consldera'ion iiow often they are called upon by unscrupulous persons to fabricate and publish stories of re markable cures and perhaps print a picture of the mythical man or wouino supposed to have been cured. That all medicine advertisements ara not mere "fakes," and that all newspaper men are not tqually prejudiced is proven by a story published in theCIncinnati Tlmee Star of a well-known newspaper man whose life was saved by reading an advertisement.- So remarkable and interesting is tbe story that it U here reproduced as published in the Times Star. Mr. Charles B. Noble, tbe well-known litterateur, who has been suffering for nearly three years with paralysis, was upon the street today, cheerful and ncUve and the recipient of congratula tions from his many friends. There is a bond of unity between all newspaper men, so that Mr Noble's case appeals to every member of the craft as well as to every one atllisted as h was. Mr. Noble has spent the last three years in tiaveling from city to city seeking skilled physicians, to whom he baa ap pealed in vain for relief. Knowing this, a reporter expressed surprise at the io markable cure, but Mr. Nobb,' after executing a iig to show that h3 was as sound as be looked, let tbj reporter in to the secret of his cur-. "It was a bard tiiru I had of It," said he, "but the last medicine we take is always the Qno that cures, and I have rakius ,'fti8t. I was paralyzed on March 9. 1890, while in the emolov of th David Williams PublWiing Com pany of New York City as their repre- ixmt.utlvA (mm CMnp.lnna.ti T found the traveling a great help to me, both in a hnmcial ana a literary way, Dutbuuueti- lw utnfAlran ftnurn T ura.a at. RnmoiHUtt. O , 150 miles from Cincinnati, I was in capacitated for both writing and money making. Luckily my literary produc tions had been remunerative, and I had a snug bank account laid up, but these three years have maae a drain on it, "I scught a score of physicians, going to the best specialists in Cincinnati, Chattanooga and Pittsburg. Twelve Cincinnati doctors, pronounced my case InmtrfLhla. hut T would not rlve ud. and after seeking in vain for relief in Pitt- burg and Chattanooga, consulted the haat mAnlotil talent in ChleUCO. II O to January 17, 1893, 1 bad spent S2.50O for doctors and medicine ana was aoout to give up in despair when I got hold or ri. VVUHom'fl Pink Pills for Pale Peo ple, through readinj the advertise ments. "Frnm t.hn first week of UsinfiT the remedy I made a steady improvement, and on April iz, l put up my cane aiier using it thirty months. I certainly be this mAdlnina Is all the DroDrletors claim fo it, and that it will do all they say It will. 1 take pleasure in recm monrllntr It In all simiUHv afflicted. Like many who have tried medicine in vain 1 was aouDtiui 01 its vaiue at urst, and only used it when I grew desperate. Now I can not praise it too highly. It has restored me to health and strength and I feel grateful accordingly. Dr. Whittaker uronounced it a hopeless case of locomotor a'axia. 1 "Yep, I know there are many wno will fanjy anything you say about my case in au advertisement, but If they wut any corroboration, lft them ad dress me at the Y. M C. A. bulking, and I will cheerfully answer all inquir ies If stamps are enclosed." Pink Pills, whi e advertised and handled by the drug tradu as a proprie tary article, are notconsidered a patent medicine In the sense 'that name applies. For many years previous to their gen eral manufacture tbey were used as a prescription. At first their great re storative powers were not fully reoonn ized and they were chiefly prescribed forimpure blood and general weakness. Their remarkable success in such ra'-es, and the fact that tbere was nothing in la. that could do anv harm. even if they did not do any grod, led to their being tried in cases wnere me fckill of the 1 hyslclan and the power of the medicine had entirely failed. Their power of restoration seemed to border ou lua marvelous. They proved to be a never-falling specific for such diseases as locomotor ataxia, partial paralysis, St. Vitus' dance, iciatlca, neuralgia, rheumatism, nervous headache, the after effeot of LaGrlppe, palpitation of the heart, pale and sallow complexions, and all diseases of the blood such as icrofula, chronlo erysipelas, etc. They are also a specific for troubles peculiar to females, such as suppressions, irregularities, and all forms of weak nets They build up blood and re no re the, glow of health to pale and sallow cheeks. In cae of men they effect a radical cure In all cases arising from mental worry, overwork or excesses o. whatever nature. Pink PUU are sold la boxes (never Id Lkw f.irm iv that (loieD or hundred. aud the publio Is caution! against numerous Imitation tom in tm at M cento a box or six botes for IJ to, and may bt had of all drut?gUs or direct by mall from tr. Williams' Mrdlrlae Company, Hheatady, N . Y., or liriH'kvlll. tint. The nrlmalwhtoh Ihrse Pill are sold mk 1 rour of treatment toexrnlvo M compared with 01 hemmed or nudiesl treat, meat. Warth Wtatarn Una Palae lia ne) MatCMcao Train ).. A lae car for Uneola lopla is now atta hod dally to the ChUa llo HrJ, leaving UnooU at l; Mobiur n rtlois raiv. for tit ket. berth rMirisUoAi rail at city onto UUU trV or depol t or. i aai Ith strMU. J. V WOLFE, Bos 333. Lin J .V a firr cu.,i e lol of t-Urm vtil' ti be B" oflrrs t prlrato ttaie tmrrina mi bio j'nni? miw tttr a public I ur n. 1 bene pm are cboire IndiviUuaU and ebolc-eT 6rwl. re 1 y uco irei an Orient, 12 H7: wollei l K'swi. behyusy Wliken2n4. I7.7T7 IbAl recently sold for ?.''' li". and Ubn ntr4 boars. The dam are equally good and muck run or iik-. lecumBeb, Van Ue and U. S t jd. Come and m, or write fur what yua want. Furnas County Herd. BIG BERK HOGS AND Holstein Cattle. A few young males left. Orders hooked fur sows bred. Choice fall pigs cheap. S"e my premium pig offer. H. S Williamson, Beaveb City, Neb. L. H. SUTER, Neligb, Nebraska 'i uWIMfr'ww)nf Proprietor of ELKHORN : VALLEY : HERD or polapd-Chlpa Swipe. Have a splendid lot of plus for sale. Mostly slrc-d by Free Trade's test, wboH sire was sold torsMuu Tbis nerd nas no superior Kaator ent. Prices on Sprlrg Pigs range from III to f-JO, according to quality, L. H. ctb, Nellgh, Neb. SUre CUre for Piog ttfp chickei) Cholera.! I have a positive, tried, proved and guar anteed cure for hog and chicken cholera, which has stood tbe test of six years without ever making a failuee to my knowledge or that I ever heard of. It has been used successfully In hundreds of cases. My father is and has been for forty years a leading hog-ralser in this county, and ha lost many bogs from rbotera. but has never lost a bog or chicken from cholera since the discovery of thU rem edy. One dollar will buy ennuph of the ingred ient at auy drug store to cure 50 to 75 bead of hogs. I will send any ersou tbe recipe for only fifty cents Bend today, use the remedy and you w 11 never lose another hog or chicken from cholera; don't wait until they begin to die. Keferences: My HostmaNter, Kxpress Agent, or Pastor of Baptlxt Church, of which I am a member, or any bublness bouse or good citizen ot this town. Agents wanted Ad dress, Mks. Rachkl V. Thomas, C'owarts, Alabama SEND ONE DOLLAR KOK THE Lawton Lamp Stove ! Will heat a room at a cost of TWO CENTS a day. Will beat a room In ten minutes. Will fit any lamp chimney. One agent wanted la every town and city. Ad dress, Lawton Lamp Steve Co , Chelsea, Mass. IOWA FEEDSTEAMEK Given away if It does not save its cost In one year. Martin & Morrissey M'fg Oompasyi Omaha, Neb, FREE SILVER AND PEERLESS FEED GRINDERS Will make a Farmer Happv. Ilri nils mnm ffpaln ai.L Mdeirree of HiiBneNii than anv . TiMVj' inim ,11111. v ' 1 1 1 11 in ,-(i -v 1 11 ii, "spi'O- a oats, etc Ann ennuKli fir . " any purpose. Warranted not to choke. We warrant the PKKKLBH8 to he the ltKST and C'lfKA I'KST MILL ON KARTII ! WnMuiftt once fur prioeswiU atfelivy. TiMr ia iuiny iu Uii, mill. Mlda fmlT hw thm JOLIET STR0WBRID6E CO., Joliet, III. jr awi iw tntj vaamriuii wauua, ia w KrifltKt.k OMAHA JACK BARN. Imported Spanish & Italian Jacks. Write for particu lars. Addresa J. U.IiuUATI tilth & Vinton, Omaha, Neb , k . a- Y xcKMitm HtxtK makkh ami m via rri Ta U ntm tawttwtt ter a hmi; Nona itulM liatt( ttitlri Mr Iiutftl ttris, S -IU , aa lwp n Mmnl Hm kls f . SH.I sUmm f Mk tl !' m yt ut attu ihulMjia. rU riH ireurtif ak'iUaH I al r rtt aa. w ku M T i A H'X 1. 1 Ih rr it V 'Wrw ttuauU m ut Xtni, H ' tvua. II Hi tf loa S3 u,.,.rrr. .1 in-ill j n 1.1 1 U V. A li. en lUwrr. W.il Allvv. SHH St'"-K Ag-0 V'.r;ka Stat Cattle iiraa t rn)-r A!!URr, orriit imiriit'i.i.sotK,iit Hoot LIVkSIUUK UUfIKIUNiyitHUHANlS Euom 220, Eichacgs Boildicg UrrKEKM'f S: First National Itan. nfnniki Commercial National Baak. Omaha. Matumai uanlc. South Omaha. Neb. Ravine Jt I irkAniu Ran), Hm-il,. Ceniral City Bank. On tral City.' Ne. Ground S NOW used by all the principal ferders of f-tock aod u better appreciated as its merits become known. It is usd of alTkinds, and you canuot afford to feed stock for market without it There is nothing that assists so much iu fattening an THIS MEAL, and you have only to u&e n to be convinced. ONE POUND IS EQUAL TO 3lbs OF CORN. bags of lOOlbs each. Price, 10( lb8. If your di aler does not order and we will ship promptly. Woodman Linseed HUI.II 19 IfHIIItU Mopping made clean and comfortable. Do not touch the bands to wafer. Stand erect. Addrfss for circulars, f Model Hop Pail and Wringer Company MPCOkp, T EBP a SKA. ' A WHOLE FLOCK OF IDEAS. TT was a favorite saying of Benjamin Franklin that if he obtained but one J- idea from a book he considered himself well repaid for his investment. There ia a silent but potent missionary that not alone suggests ideas to men, but tells them what the thinkers of all time have done with those ideas. A missionary that represents the very fountain-head of all knowledge, that unlocks the secrets of nature and "chains the elements to our chariot wheels." This missionary is the justly celebrated REVISED ENCYCLO PEDIA BRITANNICA, and it appeals to every human being who can read. If you have any special bent or inclination for any particular branch of knowledge, open the REVISED ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA and ideas will flock to you. If you are young, with your life before you, it will" furnish you with ideag to advance your business interests and to make you a more useful member of society. If you are a tired bread-winner, it will amuse and enliven you with stories of travel, with quaint and beautiful mythological legends, and with the facts about animals and flowers. It is never wearisome, and it lasts a lifetime. It is Cosmopolitan and Democratic for it makes no distinction between the rich and poor, except to say to the latter, " I am yours almost ONLY 10 CENTS A DAY IS REQUIRED. On receipt of only One Dollar we will forward to you, charRes prejwid, the entire set of twenty volumes, the remaining $ 9.00 to be paid at th rate of 10 cents a day (to be remitted monthly). A beautiful dime savings bank will lie sent with the books, in which the dime may be deposited each day. This edition is printed from new, lurge type on a fine quality of paier, and is MmntMy bound in heavy inanilla pajier covers, whloh with proer care will Wt for years. Hear in mind tha; the entire lit) volumes are delivered to your address, with all charges paid to any jrt of the United States. This U a special o(T.'r mado only to tho readers of Tbk ALUANCB-Inoepkn-DENT aod will remain open for limited time only. Cut this Out and Stnd to ALLIANCE PUB. CO. diUAvcs tuBitmxe co.vpi.vr. fttan Jilittrm tkt tntirt $t f 20 ttilii its 4w lmnbi, ttHr lt 0 1 P-!h't vt further wt h unit 10 m'it Hi rtmainiw f J 00 U full puiJ. .Va.,,,,., W ,2f. CV4jr $f& PILES, FISTULA, s4 all ailur Dt Hlai tr4 CUt, M.,wtilMnii linlfe. iutar or tlMSlMtltlMWHl Vt lH 4WI StMt t,, auf Mt uM Iws la 4im, t tuiarw a4 fi IwaUM slvlua how (at (m aar(srs iim. t t;Oi: ;K S. r.Kow x. & Company. South Oijiaha- Ne (jfRefore shipping ask us for condition f Market ma frioes. Oil Cake. for stock Put up iL $1.50 per OMAHM keep it send us diaft or monev Oil "Works, Omaha- 7 MS lincriTO i-ffiMTPn for the asking." asi of RetUeti Xxcythptitia Brit D'mStiji itint, far wtocK tuehn nH a 4 19 nmUtin Ik $tmt mtniklf ) , , tttav(tiittstt4ttt,, r Ds Trl ft atlaar, Xium t"lftJ r'J a'1 ! trs4. W tHMl Ik WI l. Sit SHWWitl a a I'l tN rt WUI Sa4 hm tt( kiatr4 k ) uwfwl fey , IM ImmumH U tf ta II 144