TlfE ALLIANCE
INDEPENDENT.
CHUKCH SOCIABLES.
Yes. I am going to hare tbe sociable
next Wednesday, and here it is Thurs
day. Well I shan't do nothin' this
week; but Monday 111 sweep, 'n'
Tuesday make a mess o' cake, and
prob'ly a little bread; and I'll have
to cook some meat vittles or old Al
miry Fawkes '11 think it's awful, I
s'pose. Yes, I know 'tain' t none o'
her business, but she makes it so. an'
land! you might just as well say don't
notice a streak o' lightnin.' She'
dreatful inquisitive."
And having delivered this long
speech, Mrs. Abbalinda Bassett wiped
her hands on her aproa and settled
herself to entertain her guest Mrs.
Jonathan Charles, who had "drop
ped in" for a friendly chat in the
afternoon.
Don't you dread it awful Abba
lindyP" asked her guest. Them
church sociables had ought to be
well I don' no' what hed ought to be
done to 'em, but they're enough to
make the hair turn grey. I hed it a
year ago. an' such a lookin' house you
never did sea Looked as if there'd
been a hog-rasate. I tell Jonathan
that if ever he has a sociable when
I'm dead, I'll turn in my grave.
Speakin' o' graves, reminds me of old
Mis' Tubb's fui'ral last week; you
wasn't there, was youP"
No, I wasn't an' I've been dret
ful sorry ever since, for they said the
corpse was very lifelike. She died
very sudden, didn't sheP"
Yes, ruther; but they knowed she
was dead, and wasn't buried alive,
the way I know Samanthy Bliss was.
Why. she was warm round her back
bone, an' I told old John and the doc
tor. But John, he said. 'She's dead
fast enough,'- says he; but there, I
alius felt's though she was buried
alive, "
"You don't say soP" said Mrs.
Bassett. "But who was out to the
fun'ralP I hain't heard nothin' about
it yet"
'Well Elden's folks was over; V
they arst us to stay to supper after
the fun'ral. 'n1 Sarah Ellen an' Mar
thy did; but lookin' at the corpse
kinder turned my stomach, so I didn't
stay, but afterwards I wisht J hed. tor
the girls sed they hed a real good
supper baked beans 'n' hulled corn.
But the tablecloth was dretful soiled.
Why, Sarah Ellen said she never see
sioh a nasty tablecioth. But 'Land!,
sez I, what can you expect? Old
Mis' Tubbs was sick nigh onto six
weeks afore she died, and Jeem's
wife wasn't never a notable house
keeper." Well what kind of an address did
tbe parson give you?" inquired Mrs.
Bassett.
Pretty good; but to tell the truth,
I didn't hear half of it for I was
lookin' at Mis' Gideon Abbott's new
bonnet"
"Did he praise the corpse a gre't
sight?" asked her hostess.
Oh, yea ruther; he allm wus a
marster hand to praise and proclaim
the virtu's o' his p'rishioners when
they was dead. But there, I tell Jon
athan rd a good sight druther he'd
praise us while we was livin'. I think
he's kinder"
"Yes. so do I; of course I don't want
to say nothin' ag'in' the elder but he
k kinder priggish. Why. one day
larst spring, durin' house-clean in'
time (an' you know what that means,
everything topsy-turvy), I arst 'em
here to luooh 'twas one Sunday, an'
. they had to go right off to meetin' at
the Centre so I hurried an' got 'em
some bread an' meat vittles', an'
clean forgot to ask the elder to
ask a blessin'I Of course it was
Inexcusable o' me, but I was so
flustered gettin' their lunch, an'
the coffee wouldn't git done nor
nothin'. Well he would 'a' passed it
over. I guess, but Mis' Stevens she
cocked her head up an' shut her eyes
and sez. Uosiahl' she says, as if the
heavens was fallia' But I was dread
ful mortified. I don't think she had
any call to do that "
No, she hadn't' replied Mrs.
Charles. -She hain't so dretful good
but going 'thout say In grace once'd
hurt her. There goes Marthy Tubbs
now. Oh. she reminds me. You'd
ought to heve seen bow she took on
at the fun'ral almost had the hys
terics, an' had to be carried out!"
"Do tell!" e claimed Mrs. Bassett
"Hut did Jeem's wife take on very
bad?"
-She hadn't much chance, for her
four children was climbin' all over
her. Well 1 must be goin'; I've got
to get a hot supper, for Jonathan. V
Caleb alius oomes home hungry I'll
be up ter the sociable."
Yea I'll bait you will" said her
hostess, as the door closed behind
her; un' all ready to make remarks
about the tablecloth V everything
else. Seems ' sif this sociable would
kill me. I've got so much to do; for
I know old Almiry Fawkes '11 find a
speck o' dirt under the spare-room
bed, if it ain't no bigger'n a pin
head."
The night of the sociable bad come
at last; the house was in good order,
the children (who had been kept in
the kitchen all the week) arrayed in
their Sunday best were sitting sti31y
on chairs in the sitting-room.
At five o clock poor Mrs. Bassett
with trembling fingers, put on her
best alpaca, There was not a speck
of dust anywhere except in John's
room. "But there." she thought
nobody' 11 ever think to look in that
out-of-the-way place, way under the
eaves.'!
John was her grown son, and his
room generally had the appearance
of "chaos and ancient night" for it
was very dark, with only one window,
very near the floor; a box served for
bureau and washstand. with a cracked
piece of m rror hung above it Bows
of hooks ornamented the walls. But
John was not particular as to whether
his clothing was on the hooks or on
the floor. But poor Mra Bassett
hurried on her dress and prepared to
meet her guests.
She gave a few touches to the "best
room," as she passed through it
straightening a t dy here and a rug
there. The room looked decidedly
like a sepulchre opening to receive a
new occupant The air was very
chilly, though a fire burned in the
soapstone stove, for the room had not
been opened since the April ho ise
cleaning. and it was now nearly Octo
ber. The horsehair chairs were set
at regular intervals round the room.
Several ova. frames hung on the walla
containing photographs of the de
parted Bassetts; and also a silver
coffin-pi ate bearing the name of
Abraham Bassett framed very care
fully. On the large center table were
a few bookd the Bible, "Life of
General Grant" Fox's "Book of
Martyra " and a rarely used diction
ary. A very stiff silver vase, con
taining some fresh flowers, stood ex
actly in the middle.
On the mantlepiece, which was very
long, and could not boat of a cover,
were two more very stiff vases, some
china figures, a squirrel colored a
hideous brown, cracking nuts, and
some more photographs that looked as
if they might have baea brought
there from the Egyptian oatacombs.
The carpet was of very bright red
and green, with circles and hexagons
about two. feet in diameter. Alto
gether, the room had a most cheerless
look, as if the chairs and rugs were
afraid of being moved an inch from
their proper place.
Soon the guests began to arrive,
among them Mrs. Charles, in her best
black silk, with her knitting work;
and presently the hum of voioes
arose, b oken now and then by sounds
of laughter.
But now the odor of strong coffee
began to pervade the house, and then
came supper; men. women and chil
dren passed the food to those sitting
around the rooms huge slices of
bread and butter, coffee, cake and
doughnuts.
W ith supper the trouble began to
brew." as Mra Bassett said after
ward, for Caleb Charles dropped a
pan containing the sugar bowls, re
sulting in the breaking of one bowl
and the spilling of the sugar, which
was speedily trodden into tbe sitting
room carpet by the maay feet hurry
ing over it
In the midst of supper. Mra Bas
set had occasion to go upstairs for a
clean apron, and hearing some one
moving in John's room thought,
Oh. land! there's John hiding up
here, he's so bashful! Well he's got
to come out that's all"
She opened the door and was horrified
to see old Almiry Fa wkos" examin
ing things! Poor Mrs. Bassett glanced
from the unmade bed to the - bureau
covered with every speoies of mascu
line attire. She stood for a moment
speechlesa and then, (in her own
words. ) my temper riz; oi' Almiry
raised her spetacles, and she sez, sar
castically, sez she, 'Whose room is
this, prayP In the calmest of tones
she said this, an', as I said, my tem
per riz, an' I said. 'I hain't aware as
it is any o' your business whose 'tis,
an' you walk straight out "
"But that wasn't the worst of It"
said poor Mra Bassett to Mra
Charles two days after, "for when I
oame down stairs I stumbled on Elder
Stevens and his wife a-looking very
horrified.
Ah.' sez the elder. "I b'lieve
Mis' Bassett at such plaoes as this it
is customary to to say somethln'
before proceedin' to airthly things.
I hain't been requested to ask a
general blessin'."
Kin you imagine how I feltP I'd
told Timothy ter be sure an' arsk the
elder to arsk a blessin'; an' then,
after what I'd told you 'bout the other
time, my forgetting the same thing.
I guess he'll think we're pretty
heathen. But land o' Goshen! if ever
I have another church sociable I'll be
a little older than I am now that's
all!" Daffodil in Transcript Monthly.
For Sale.
Lord Lambert English Hackney
stallion, winner of first prize at Lincoln
state fair 1890, and Imported Shire Stal
lion Stonehenge. now owned by the
Greenwood Horse Co.. Greenwood, Ne
braska. Wilt sell cheap or exchange
for land or live stock. Address,
C. D CUR YE A, Sec'y,
Greenwood, Neb.
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PUBL1C SALE
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