THE FAKMEKS' ALLIANCE, LINCOLN, XEB SATURDAY AI'K. 4. 1891- X The Farmers' Alliance, rCBLISHEO WEEKLT AT CORNER 11TH AND M STREETS, LINCOLN, NEBRASKA. ENLARGED AND IMPROVED. J. BURROWS. Editor. J. M. THOMPSON. Business Ma'gr. VK trwt our reader this wek with In Vf AlMASCeolanred to nearly oou Die iu former else. We intend u add to it value d I tort ally a much as we htve to luslte. We hope to be able further to enlarge it tot erven ooiumn quarto, and will do to a toon m our patronage JuiUfle lb PREMIUMS. Th Alliance one year and Looking Backward port paid.... II 50 Ditto and Labor and Capital by Kellogg 1 40 Ditto and Car's Column 1 50 " Our Repnblican Mon archy by Venier Voldo 1 40 The above book (or aale at thi office Ditto and Cushlng's Manuel pa per cover 1 30 Cloth cover 50 or aent post paid as follows; Looking Backward 60cU. Caesar's Column 50ct. Labor and Capital......... ,....20cU. Oar Republican Monarchy .... .25cU. Cushing's Manuel, paper covers. ,25cU. " cloth " ...50cts. AddreM. Alliance Pcb. Co Lincoln Neb. FARMER'S OPINIONS. We Will Get Even. IWrllten for Thb Fahmkhh' Am.iakcb I aee tome thing- wort ever day, That do look rather queer; And more to since the blamed hot wlndi, glnged off our crops last year. I can't see why our government Won't lend a helping band. By loaning Just a little dust, To irrigate our land. Wo don't ask Uncle Ban to give To us hit shining- stamps; But loan them at the same percent. He charges thieving banks. They ute our Uses to explore Death Valley's burning sand; Hut not s cent to irrigate Nebraska's arid lands. We work like thunder every year, Halt corn, rye, wheat, and flax s And hardly make enough to pay Our two per cent and tax. And then, sometimes, the Lord tor gelt To send us any rain; The hot winds hold the edge on us, And ws don't raise a grain. When we petition congress then For aid; they only say, "Well, that's too bad; I wish it bad rained. Ahem! now let us pray." ' Then after prsyerthey pans a bill To enlarge the White House grand ; Dut not a cent appropriate To wet Nebraska's land. And then they pans a bill to buy, A cottage by the sea; For tho widow of some congress duck, Or a toy, for Babe McKee. And then they fatten up their pets, - The noble red skin braves; And for the farmer? chestnuts now, Don't mention them, they are slaves. They smile on railroad high freight rates, That keep our prices down; They shake old Jay Gould's thieving hand, And on the farmer frown. With our tax they build monuments, And call them awful grand: But not a red cent will they loan, To wet Nebraska's land. O well ; these patient farmer slaves, Someday to Heaven will go; And gaze on burning oarcassos, , Of government sharks below; And when they call with awful voice. That almost rends their lungs, iA Amin will tho faritiAr lAnn ) cool their roasting tongues. X v ..v , Tocc4)lthclr roasting tongues.s Farm and City Laborers. (rant, Neb., Feb. 2J. 181. Editor Alliance: I believe the city laborer prosperity depend upon the prosperity of the country laborer. The fanner alter ye&r of toil and economy. finding be has not been able to make both ends meet, begins to reason thusly : I have worked on the farm sixteen hours per day for a number of years; have de nied myself all the comforts and luxuries of the aire, and have become schooled to wants and hardships,aad have node moralizing habits. I will leave the farm and go to tiie city, and learn trade or profession. If I deny myself as I have on the farm I can at least make a living and perhaps lay up some thins for old see. It is bad enough to live in the country and be denied the comforts of life, but in the city it is like standing In water up to your chin yet held in a position so you cannot partake of it. If the city laborer wishes to bet ter his condition he must vote to keep the farmer satisfied with the choice of his profession. How would it do to legislate and discriminate in favor of the fanner until tho gold-bug would go to farming from choice. Better do it, than drive all the intelligent farmers into the cities without trade or profes sion. If the producers ask for anything the old parties bowl "paternal govern ment." but they give railroads land- grants and factories bounties must do ft to induce capitalists to invest. But what are they doing to encourage the farming industry? Nothing, absolutely nothing:, t.ltv workmen come over, ana help us dethrone tyrant King Gold. The ballot is the only weapon whereby we can peaceably conquer, capital win strike back so docs a rattlesnake, and every hasty blow struck at It will not be elective. John it. ulf.k. Something About Insurance. Alexa, Neb., Feb. 1, 1801. Editor Alliance: In your issue of the 14th Inst, we find an article on mu tual insurance, in which the question Is raised: "Would it be more economical to establish a state mutual, with separ ate departments for fire and wind poli cies, or allow local companies to con duct the fire business?" In our opin ion, if no other issue than expense inci dent to conducting the business, was al lowed to enter into consideration, we would at once pronounce in favor of ttate companies. Men acquinted with the practical operation of insurance are aware that the percentage of loss In certain localities Is greater than others, caused sometimes by natural conditions such as exposure to disastrous prairie fires, and at others by artificial condi tions peculiar to the case. To illustrate, we will call your attention to an exam ple of what we consider an incentive to destruction. Mr, A lives in a rented house upon a farm owned by Mr. B. Mr. A has do pecuniary interest in the house. He ha his household goods in sured for 1200, when they are in reality worth less than 9100. Mr. A can now destroy both house and household goods and gain 100 by the transaction. Again, suppose Mr. A builds a house in a town at a time when the town is booming, his house Is worth (according to the stock company's rate for estimat ing value of buildings) $1,000. Now suppose tho town has no railroad, and in a few years a line of road is opened within five or fix miles aud new towns are laid out, tho value of property in the old and deserted town decreases 75 per cent. Mr. A's house is still worth fnoeordinff to the companv's rule ill. 000. w hile in reality it could not be sold for $250. If insured for two-thirds of its value, to wit: $600.00, he can now burn it and gain $410.60 by the operation. The above may seem to some of our readers extreme cases, l wish to say that they are very frequently met with, and that I am personally aware of just such cases now in existence, consider now the condition of the western half of this state as compared with the eastern half and you will readily see that the in ceutive to destruction is much greater in the west. I heir embarrassea finan cial condition, tho questionable value of their land and the general exposure to prairie tires, I do not believe that thoughtful and conservative eastern men will care to go into a state fire in surance company upon the mutual plan. With wind storms it is very ditlerent A man may easily destroy his house by lire but I have never met one (even mong the members of the present leg stature) who was windy enough to low his house away, lours most re spectfully, Ku hard Willakd. More About Irrigation. Editor Au unce: As the subject of irrigation is being discussed privately nd publicly, I will try and give to the eaders of your paper my views upon he subject. I havo long since conceived he idea of damming the draws and can ons, asfthe most economical, the best and In every way the most feasible plan for supplying moisture and Inducing more frequent showers, and I am well v Wlstled that If a sutllelcnt numbct of (ponds were constructed throughout the (country such a thing as the toss of Yrow either by drouth or hot wind Would lie a thing of the past. And right .here let me say that the burning of the Waits from oft the prairies U one of the blef causes of hot winds, and w ill alo oner or later drive ott aud extenal "V- bc'.h nall ac! chicken and there for should be prohibited by law, Now, there iwiu to be diveisity of pinion as to where aud how ie pouds should 1 constructed ly own opinion U that the build ic or ihjuii promiscuously over country wouM t uu wring great vi dla iwnMt. white at the me time our roads are almost Ilu jalle, and will remain anuatd the many draws are gv'UHl or tilled up. Ml we aie Uttldlujf dam why But put thriu where they wiil ann the double pur lo of (Uttis am! rd bed, ant' ntr; oue mutt admit that a roadbed at I I 1 1. A dam would be superior to a dam built elsewhere, and surer to be kept in re pair, therefore it seems to me that the section lines and the regular laid out roads would be the proper place to put them. And now, as the country most affected by drouth is very largely in the hands of speculators and loaa companies, who could scarcely be expected to build and maintain pouda not even for a bounty, and consequently, the greater part of the country would be without ponds, I therefore suggest that a tax be levied upon real estate with the privilege of working it out or paying it the same as other taxes, the lund thus created to lie designated as a road fund to be used in the constructing and maintaining of dams and improving the roads. This plan, if adopted, would compel each and every landowner to contribute his share towards improving his prop erty and the country in general, which would be but just. In conclusion let me say to ail those who may read this article that this sub ject is one of great importance, and should not be lost sight of until every section of land shall nave one or more ponds of water and every quarter sec tion be the home of a bappy.prosperous family. W. J. S. Are We a Civilized People? In asking this question I don't wish to insinuate that the people of the United States are less civilized than any other nation on the earth. I shall admit that w are superior to many other nations and far above the savages and nations of former times. Yet, I shall contend that we are far from be ing civilized in the full sense of the word. Politicians have often told us that we are almost perfect; that we are the most enlightened nation on the earth; that perfection will come when they are elected to office. Can it be that we are civilized when nine-tenths of our people have no homes of their own when they have no access to the soil of their native land unless they pay rent erstwhile to some landlord or despot, when the mines hundreds of feet below the surface of the earth are owned or claimed by speculators and capitalists; when all the means of trans portation are in the baads of monopo lists who charge what they please for transportation without hindrance; when a thing, a mere creature of man, called money, is made a king that controls everything, even love must be subject to its domain, and that king monopo lized by a few traitors to human rights, who by Us use continud to draw the substance from the people who hare already paid to these despots in the shape of interest, more than i,uw per capita. When nearly one-half of our people are control lea by popes and priests oi some kind, most ox whose teachings are false; when one-balf of the adult population of our nation have no voice iu the laws by which thev are governed and the other half in a state like Nebraska are denied the right lo contest an election evidently fraudulent owing to the power of the money king and the high courts above them; when all the labor necessary for the subsis tence of the people Is performed bv less than half of the people and most of them who perforin the labor are robbed of their wages ami earnings and many reduced to tramps and beggars, when there is an abundance for all to live in luxury If rightly divided. When more than hail of our young men are unable by their labor to prepare themselves homes, and therefore are deprived of tho pnvilcce of having wives, for they have no homes to take them to. The result is a large increase of prostitution lor our gins, w hen, as yet, no gener ation has passed away without having to go througn a bloody war, wherein the strong prevail and the weak are destroyed whether in the right or the wrong. Y ben a few thousand capital ists own more than half of the wealth of the nation. When, at the same time we have millions of people deprived -of the very necessaries of life aud many in almost astarvingcondition. Therefore we are not civili.ed, and cannot be un til justice is established and equal rights prevail. O Give ut a rest from old politicians, Popes, priest and old superstitions, From Democrat and ltepublican party pledges. Lawyers, doctors, courts and judges. Save our boys from tolling like slaves To make soft beds for heartless knaves. O cut ui loose from old party ties before it's too late, and our nation dies. John Bhyan. Anniversary ot Alliance No. 278. , Fort Kearney Alliance No. 278 cele- rated tho anniversary of its organiza tion one year ago, Feb. 52nd. It was a pleasant day and the Alli ance men with their families assembled in the school house opposite the historic grounds of Fort Kearney. A more har monious gathering you could not find. We brought our dinners and Improvised tables by placing boards on top of the desks with table cloths spread over them. After the dinner was cleared away the house was called to order by Dauiul UtH-ox. lie read the membership roll, which showed titty one names en rolled. We had somo short and pithy speeches. W. . Dungan In his own happy views talked on the doings at the capitol, S. K Johnson on labor and eapital. J. V. Movers. Ioe farming pay?. He proved thiit It did not. U'tsuntrttd ti murk. K. U- Stuead ioke on the Fu ture of the Alliance, he thinks the time Is uot fsnlisiaut when labor organiza tions will Mt the earth and that the rainier, AllUuce will be the brightest star In the constellation. J. Kenton, spoke on the condition- of our state !:! rvnrks were to the point ami Ml of dry humor. An original poem written for the occasion History of the Alliance In verse, clowrtl with a aoug from the Alliauee iongter. Thus ruded one of the most pleasant of social gatherings, Mae. Ji t.u A. S ia, A ttnihi boy wuii ia every K'ftmiu tluitrii't and town la .iTk, to nail up alttnw. tlUtrt-ute tflrruUrs, etc. A wrmnni mo ani koi watrs wiii be ein-tt la the LiV that Mild bt r.-ferrut'et with ui p. c 'Jt I'Mti liTiiiHi titti AuiMi. 121U!rrt, Uik'oIb, NvU A Synopsis of the Newberry Bill. The Newberry maximum freight rate bill fixes a limit which railroads in Ne braska may charge for carrying freight. On an average these rates are 60 per cent less than present rates. The provisions of the Newberry bill apply, unless otherwise provided in the act, to all railroad corporations and railroad companies and to common car riers engaged in Nebraska in the trans portation of freight by railroad therein and are also held to dpply to shipments of property from any point within the state to any other point within the state. The term "railroad" as used in the act includes all bridges and ferries used in connection with any railroad. The term "transportation" includes all instrumentalities of shipment or car riage. The provisions of the act apply also to all firms and companies and to all associations of persons whether in corporated or otherwise that do busi ness as common carriers of freight upon any of the lines of railway in the state, as well as and in the same manner as to railway corporations. All freight or property to be trans ported by any railroad company from any point in Nebraska to any other in Nebraska is classified in the act un der what is called "the Nebraska classi fication," and any other classification which would raise the rates on class or commodity of freights above the rates prescriled in ..the act is prohibited and declared to be unlawful. Freight shall be billed at the actual weight unless otherwise directed in the classification. Twenty thousand pounds shall be a car load, and all ex cessive weights shall be at the same rate per hundred pounds, except in car loads of light and bulky articles, and unless otherwise specified in the classification. When the classification makes an arti cle "released" or "owner's risk," the same at "carrier's risk" will be the next rate higher, unless otherwise provided in the classification. Articles rated first class "released" or "owner's risk," if taken at carrier's risk, will be one and one-half times first class unless other wise provided. All articles carried ac cording to the classification at "owner's risk" of fire leakage, damage or break ago must be so receipted for by agents of the railroads and so considered by owners and shippers. Signing a release contract by a snipper shall not release the railroad company for loss or dama ges caused by carelessness or negligence of its employes. In the fourth section it is provided that all railroads touching the same point in the state and where such rail roads receive from and deliver to each other freight, shall, at a pro rata cost to sucn ranroaas, ouna ana maintain switches for common use in transferr ing freight from one road to the other, and shall receive and forward all such freight according to the provisions of the act. That whenever a shipper of freight from any point in the state to any other point in the state, must ship over two or more lines of railroad to reach the point of destination, the rail road company at the point of shipment shall make a through way bill to the point of destination, and the rate charg ed for such shipment shall not be the sum of the two or more local tolls, but shall be according to the rate fixed for the shortest mileage distance by any railroad route between the point of shipment and the point of destination. No charge shall be made by any rail road for transferring freight from its line to the line of any other railroad. Section 6 provides "that whenever any railroad company in the state shall, in a proper action, show by competent testimony in court that the schedule of rates prescribed by the act are unjust and unreasonable such railroad shall be exempt therefrom as provided. All such actions shall be brought before the supremo court in the name of the rail road company and against the state of Nebraska, and upon the hearing there of if the court shall become satisfied that the rates prescribed are unjust so far as they relate to the railroad bring incr the action, it may issue its order directing the board of transportation to permit such railroad to raise its rates to any sum- in the discretion of the board, provided that in no case shall the rates so raised be fixed at a higher sum than thatcharged by such railroad on January 1, 1801. Whenever any railroad company in this state shall claim the benefit of the provisions of this section, it shall be Its duty to show to the court all matters pertaining to the management thereof, and if it shall appear that the railroad company is op erating branch lines of railroad in con nection with its main line, and all in cluded in one system, then it shall be the duty of the company to show to the court upon which branch the prescrib ed schedule of rates i9 unreasonable, and ouly such branch or branches shall be exempt from the provisions thereof; provided that in no case shall a rail road company lie allowed to pool the earnings of all tho linos operated under one management, where more than one line Is operated; for the purpose of lowering the general average. The act empowers aud directs the board of transportation to reduce the rates on any class of commodity in the schedule of rates whenever it shall seem reasonable to a majority of the board so to do. The board of trans Donation Is also empowered and direct ed to revise the classitication of freight made In the act whenever it seenu best to do to, provided that no change shall be made, which shall Increase the rute to a sum higher than that tixed in the act. When any reduction or revision is made it shall be the duty of the bn-ird to ca i'0 notice thereof to be published two succeasUe week in a newspaper printed at Lincoln, giving chang-. am date wheu they am to fit into eltect. In csmi of a tiutatlun of the prm Moos of the act, th otiendttrthall b liable to the pernio or persons lelumi. for tare tlmra the amount of iUtuir,tauu!utd IU hall also tn liable lo roil of tult All rattrtiad or trt tlivtmnf which R,M t buUlln th state within to , vr nr i after the iM2 of the act phalli exempt trout the provisions thereof wotll I'e-Mtinlirr 81, 11. ! You will Hd the St. Char!aa.!olh leadia vrWuetf rent at wmiwoih ai Simbe, Hu So, tlth St., I,!cola Resolutions. Resolutions passed by Bladen Alliance No. 130. at a regular meeting February sin. iji. Whereas the Monopoly Brigands without regard to political application, have formed the demo-republican party of Nebraska and given the people of this state another proof of therotteaness of our institution by denying the people in the person of their Governor, uon. John II. Powers the right of fair trial their treason bringing the highest tribu nal of justice of our state into well merited contempt, and by acts of law lessness under the law seek to hush our cry for justice and Whereas the conspirators fain wouid gag the advocates of right and through their hireling press, the Ike, World Herald. State Journal, etc , misrepresent and malign that true and tried able ex ponent of our principles, J. Burrows and also everyone f our representa tives who is true to his pledge in state, senate and house, and Whereas certain things for sake of publicity called men have merited the indignation of true men (and hanging were it expedient) for their treason against their sovereign people in aiding and abetting the monopoly anarchists, instead of staying by the people and justice in the hour of trial, as the inde pendent voter stood by them on the 4 th day of November. Hesolmd, that we here express our en tire confidence in Brother Burrows and wish him God speed in exposing the traitors both in camp and out side, and pledge ourselves to not support the bribe taking press, and do our utmost within the limits of justice to confine said papers to the bank, the bar and the saloon, where they properly belong. '- Resolted that mob law is unbecoming (out side Omaha) in our enlightened common wealth, and therefore the traitors, Collins of Gage, Taylor of Loup and Turner of Saline, should receive no bodily harm at the hands of their incensed, constituents, bnt we desire that each of the culprits named, receive enough rope and shame (in the absence of grace) to hang themselves. hesolcea, that a copy of the resolu tions be spread on the minutes of this meeting, a copy be sent to the State Alliance, and a copy be sent to O. 01 Opinion, I II. Sailor secretary. Resolutions Adopted by Franklin County Farmers' Alliance. Editor Farmers' Alliance The following resolutions were adopted by franklin county farmers Alliance in regard to prairie tires. Whereas, These are established facts; that old grass on our prairies retains moisture in the ground; that 'moisture in the ground renders the air humid, and that humidity of the air prevents hot winds which are so detrimental to the western farmer, and Whereas, burning prairie grass not only injures Its roots, thus retarding a heavy growth, but permits the spring and summer showers to drain off rapid ly into draws thus to be lost, and Whereas, by reason of prairia fires the bare dry eartn is exposed to the hot sun thus giving rise to hot winds, which are so injurious to the farmer, therefore Resolved That every farmer in this western country should discourage the setting out of prairie fires. Kesolrea, lhat we regard as our ene my every person who unnecesarily and wilfully starts atprairle fire, especially on lands to which be has no claim, Resolved, That we recommend, that each sub-alliance take steps to prevent the spread of tires as far as possible, and it need bet to prosacute all persons trespassing against our prairie fire aws. J. W. Davis Pres. John Di dek, Sec. Resolutions. Whereas, The Xebraska State Jour nal, Omaha Bee, World-Herald and other papers ot the state have been unceas ing and unscrupulous iu their efforts to injure the cause of the independents, belittling their efforts to better their condition, subjecting them to all man ner of ridicule and rateing them with the lower animals, and dirty g birds, therefore be it Resolved By the Star Farmers' Alli ance No. 435 at a regular meeting, that we resent the insult and abuse heaped upon ns by these papers by withhold ing our patronage. Resolved, lhat we hereby express our . - . .... " . admiration for the bold, vigorous and fearless manner in which Mr. Burrows has met the assaults of these papersand for his noble defense of the independent caue. 1. (J. UL'mmere, Pres. W. L. Losea, Sec. Resolutions Adopted by Newman Alliance No 1240, of Saunders county, Neb., Feb. 21, 1S91. Whereas, Bouk & Hupert, seedsmen of Greenwood, Jscb., in order to intro duce their garden and field seed to the farmers have contracted with the urns- ba Weekly llee, in which thoy offer one years subscription to that paper frte to every person ordering two dollars worth of seed. Whkkkas. It is our omnion that tho firm of llotik & Hupert, in their offer to the people fare working for theOuia ha lee: and WhEKKAS, He consider the Omaha Bet an euemy of the farmer ami his cause; therefore be It Kesolred. lhat we will not patronize any iirm that will try to sneak such a rotten paper as mo wiiiana nee into me homes ot the farmers. Furthermore we request that these resolutions be adopted by all other lodges; furthermore tie It Rewired, l uat we send a copy 01 meso resolutions to the ,'ie k'ra and Farmers' Ai.liam k and also a copy be placed on the minutes Of our Alliance J, A. (TXX1M.IIAM. GlO. W. SI.IITHAIII.R. Ciias. F. Hi ttmar. Committee, Resolutions of Condolence. Feb. IT, IMI. W'hihka. H has pleased a Ihttne Providence to remove from our midst our frW-nd and brolhtr Fvrdiuaun Wendt; therefore be (t AWrW, By Hrer Alliance No 10IM. that we' tender cur heart tell tyiu paihy to hi U rented wife aud faintly, lher'vre it RiMtlftd. That copies of these resolu tions he sent 1Ih J AReiaV s .UAH K and lhat a copy be spread ipoi the rw ord ol our AlKance. Ho Wukinmix, IV Vm, MctriM a. v. Coperfield Alliance iaio, Howard County ty Nebraska. The following resolutions were passed by this Alliance on Saturday 24th inst Resolved, That we denounce Collins of Case. Turner of Saline nnit t, i ,1 Loup as traitors to the party, false t0 tneir pieoges ana to me aiciates of their honor. That we are proud of the record that the Senator from Hall and Hownni Counties have made thus far. Introduced by S. M. Wellman. Resolted. That it in th whioa nt tnta Alliance that the If cislntura shrtnM in. crease the appropriation for western sufferers to $-100,000. Introduced by J. O. Stearns. T. C. JLKGEIES. J. Bf.ANCl! ARI, Sc. pres. Economical Legislation Asked For. Clav Center, Neh.. Feb. 22. 1891. Editor Alliance: Please publish th following resolutions, passed by liar mony Alliance. 20. ltm, and oblige: Whereas, We, the aforesaid Allianoa and all farmers are imposed upon by taxes caused by our county and town oflicials, be it Resolved, That it is an injustice to sup port a few in rplendor and ease at th enormous salaries paid them by the hard earnings of the masses whom thev oppose In securing a f.Ir portion of their earnings, and be it further Resolved, That a reduction of salaries and county expenses is needed in ac cordance with times and prices, and as there are men qualified who would be lad to accept a position at a much re need salary and be just as responsible, it would be ground for such a demand. And belt further Resolved, That in accord with the re port of the poor farm expenses and in come the expenses being $600 greater than the income, that county farming docs not pay any better than does indi vidual farming as run at present. And be it further Resolved, That it would le wise to lessen expenses in accord with income, times and prices, just as farmers must do to live. And be it further Resolved, That as there Is no coun'y report to show income and ex penses of L the same, that reports should be made w n aiistli a am a lhA iin1oratnAi1 A - A is nievs vi a J i v w uuuuoiwui auu be it further Resolved, That as we have a grand t ys- tem to prevent school boards squan dering public money some similar plan should be instituted for the public money. And be it further Resolved, That a copy of these resolu tions lie furnished the Fairfield Herald and The Farmers' Alliance for publi cation. E. (). Brown. Pres. E. E. Boyd. Sec. THE ARIZONA KICKER'S RIVAL. A Utah Kdltor Tells How He Came to tract are the Statute,' The Arizona Kicker man has a form- iable rival in the editor of the Nophl Ensign, a paper published ubout sixty miles south of Salt Lake. He had a battle with his postmaster of tho town a few days ago, which he describes as ns follows: 'While passing W. II. Gage's saloon yesterday afternoon we uteppod inside on a matter of business and were ac costed byourunesteemed, half-drunken Postmaster, John Witbeck, with the request that we have a drink with him. Being particular about our company, we politely but lirmly declined, only to be urged again and again in a brutal manner, while we jHMitively declined to accept. 1 Stepping up to where we stood, the burly bully seized us by the collar, saying: "I'd like -to strangle vou and all your associates." We then told him to proceed lo business if that was his desire, when, without further warning, the cowardly braggart struck us in our eye. This naturally raised our ire and we sHlled in to make the fur fly. We were junt beginning to get warmed up and were taking the name Interest we have ho often exper ienced in punching a sack of sand when Policeman Pitt apieared on the 6cecn and stopped our fun just as we were putting our list on our opponent's jaw. 'We went before Judge Stout and pleaded not guilty to a charge of fight ing, but after hearing the evidence of a few witnesses his honor decidod that we had fractured the statute, which would take a $2.50 bill to repair. 'He did not offer any suggestions as to where we could get bo much money, so we went out and 'dug up.' "The other fellow blundered up to the mourner's bench, pleaded guilty and deposited the necessary amount in postage stamps, which released him from custody, when he waddled bock to the saloon to renew hla alcoholie saturation, It will now be in order for him to attack our office boy." WORSE THAN SNAKES. Life Mint lie ririiiit In Quint GUdre Around M inula !! I'lt?. About tliroj miles above MUsLssippl City I called at 11 negro cabin on the highway to nsk for a drink of watr. A mule ht'iod near tho dtHir with a fore leg badly swollen, and I aokud the negro what ailed him. Bin dun bit by a teiulke, I reckon, was the reply. His own left foot wtw bandaged In plnco of l'd quilt, and when 1 looked at it he explained: ' Bin dun bit roelf, but do pUen Is about out." Lot of snako around here? I queried. Heaps of 'em. (V.e ermunn was dun bit las' wk," Whew!" An' lay boy KuWrt was dun bit dis mawnln'. Sedutdwg? He bin dun bit fo time thU j'ui. 'utii down jtf a bit." We a!kd alsml ten yals fivm th cabin and he shtesrd m two movaln tut a t r at tho i-dk'o of a Hiiip. Hi.. m1 luml! but I shuitld think ymi'd h wninl tf jour llv?e hert'!"'! ex claimed, Wall, H'a a littles akeefv, H. Viwtalt) fur de chll'im, bv.t what r rits i d whW U dftn nifttfy k t-. I rWt abldo Vm nohow, rw.. ils-r' vin. but d ui Wr U jl ttoun' loHk'ht r!fH dn ! take bold u' full r iur 1 IgltV off."