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About The farmers' alliance. (Lincoln, Nebraska) 1889-1892 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 4, 1890)
GUARDING THE TONGUE, B . If each of us. a pass through life, Would bridle and curb the tonjnta, And ppea k of only the plcaeant things To be noid of every one, What a wonderful difference there would bt t Between this world of ours And the paradi.s it might become With all pathways strewn with fiowera Bow surely a little reflection ' Will hIiow u a plain as the day. The mistakes we made when we hastily Allowed onr tongue full sway. When the day is done and Avethinkit o'er, Ah me, that it should be true. There are few of us who can honestly say There is nothing we would undo. Too often the faults we clearly see la others are faults of our own, And those who dwell in houst-s ot rla Bhould be wary in casting a stone, flo, have charity, much charity, The loveliest virtue of all. And look well to the member unruly, For it's prone to slip and fall. . Good Housekeeping THE EVENT OF OUR LIVES. My wife and I were a happy couple. We loved each other, and we had two children," who were as pretty and healthy and nice-mannered as parents could wish. We were also rich, and when one has love and wealth, not counterbalanced by bad health or bad temper, one has pretty nearly everything that can render life delightful. We had, indeed, only ne subject of complaint; sometimes we found -existence a trifle monoto nous. "I think," my wife would say, yawning, "I really do think life is too uneventful. It is quite stupidly flat. Why doesn't something inter esting happen?1' "Well, what should you like?" I would rejoin. "Shall, I hire an assas sin to stab me at the opera? or a gypsy to steal the children? or" "Nonsense!" cried she, laving her pretty hand on my lips. "Of course, I don't mean anything fearful and hideous, like murderand kidnapping. I don't know what I mean, anything would do, so long as it was exciting and unusual." "This, however, was the one thing in which I couldn't gratify her, for one can't buy unusual events by the ounce, or keep them bottled in one's ellar. So I tried to assuage her longing with philosophy. "We are both young," I said. "Who knows what may happen be fore we keep our golden wedding? We must wait!" "Wait!" exclaimed my wife. "Yes. the end of the world is coming, but we shan't live to see it." Time, however, proved that I was right. ,One day she received the following letter from her only brother in Australia: "My Dear Lucy I havejust nursed hack to life, alter a long and danger ous brain fever, my great friend, George Stormont, and as the doctors concur in saying a sea voyage is the best thing lor him, I mean to put him on board the Mount Vernon on the 28th, and l i nr a n t i tv i enipnira on 10 iMigiana. jus only relation, a married sister, lives in Scotland, so I am desiring him to go straight to you, as I am sure you will be willing to put him up for a short time till he is equal to a long railway journey, and I feel confident you and Frank will pay him all the attention you can for my sake. "V he recovers on the voj'age. you will find him sociable and agreeable and up to everytliing; but the doc tors tell me that ho may not be quite himself fcr some mcnths, and if so, you will see him as he is now a silent individual, rather eccentric, prefer ring solitude, and always mooning about the place and wandering into rooms where he" has no business. But one must excuse the vagaries of an invalid, and I trust that you and Frank will bear with him, as I said before, for my sake. "No more "now, as I am busy with my usual avocations, and extra busy looking after Stcrmont. With much love to you all, ever your affectionate brother, "Ebgar Aerowsmith. "P. S, Stormont will arrive a fort night after this letter." He came, however, that evening. We were -astonished, but we hastened to welcome him, and found him in the study, a small, spare man, with a .short, dark beard, and cropped black hair. He rose slowly from the easy chair in which he was seated, and looked at us foolishly. "We are very glad to see you, Mr. Stormont' said I, taking his hand. "How are you? Better I hope." "Not much," said he, in a wearied tone, and putting his hand on his heajd. "Country air will soon setyouup," said I. "How did you leave Edgar?" "Edgar wrote you were corning by the Mount Vernon, but surely she isn't in yet?" remarked Lucy. "1 got off earlier than I dare to hope," said Stormont. "In the Monte itosa there was a berth, and it was thought better that I should not delay." "That was the mail which brought Edgar's letter?" said Lucy. "Yes," said Stormont. After that he relapse into silence, and we could only extract monosyl labic answers from him. , We saw that he was fatigued, and I presently showed him to his rooms, two apart ments on the ground floor, which Lucy's thoughtf'ulness had provided. "My wife fancied you might like to be saved the stairs," I said. He thanked me warmly. "It was very kind of. Lady Dennis," he said. "I sleep badly, and often take a walk in the early morning, so this will suit me exactly, as I shall be able to leave the house without disturbing any one." "Take care none of my servants mistake you for a burglar," said I, laughing. "Oh they won't do that," he re turned, with a smile. So I left him, and as he was very quiet and taciturn, and his brain evi dently still extremely weak, Lucy and I found that his presence made very little difference to us. "Don't mind me." he said the next day. "I feel exhausted, and conver sation tires me. But I am not ill, and you wiU please me best and serve me most if you will let rae go my own way and not concern your selves about me." So we left him to follow his own de vices, and as he preferred to have his meals in his own room, we saw vary little of him. "It's too bad,? said Lucy to me. "I did think Mr. Stormont would have been an exciting element. I hoped we should have had the house crowded with nurses and brain specialists, and that perhaps ,he would have gone suddenly mad, and you would have restrained him .in some hei oic manner. Instead ol 'which he is as humdrum as possible. At least he might have gone a little crazy." ; "Well, he may yet," said I. "He has only been here a week to-day." ' That evening Johnson demanded an interview with me. "Well, Johnson?" I said to this old and faithlul domestic. "I'm not easy about Mr. Stormont, Sir Francis," said Johnson, careful ly looking over his shoulder, though he had as carefully closed the door behind him when he entered. "What about Mr. Stormont?" 1 inquired. "He's an uncommonly queer gen tleman. Sir Francis," replied John son. "Several nights I've found him wandering about my pantry, and yesterday he frightened Mrs. Rowe out of her wits by coming in when she and me was holding a confiden tial communication in the house keeper's room. Mrs. Itowe's heart is weak, Sir Francis." I couldn't help smiling, for it was no secret where the weakness in Mrs. Itowe's heart tended. . "What explanation did Mr. Stor mont offer?" I asked. "None, Sir Francis," said Johnson. "He put his hand to his head and looked bewildered," and then went off. He's been caught upstairs by the girls just the samo, and Jane met him at your dressing-room door. And it makes it worse because he walks so soft. We ain't none of us angry with the poor gentleman, Sir Francis, but we think he's stark mad, and we think there'll be murder if he ain't looked sharp after." "I hope not, Johnson," I said. "This is just what Mr. Arrowsmith prepared us for; his words were: 'He goes mooning about the place, and wandering into rooms where he has no business.' I can't turn my brother-in-law's friend out of my house be cause he's odd.' "I hope nothing may come of it, Sir Francis," said Johnson solemnly. "I trust not," said I. "Mr. Stor mont will go soon. Meantime don't let any one frighten her ladyship. There is nothing murderous in a ten dency to poke into strange places." Nevertheless, I felt somewhat un easy, and watched my guest narrow ly. But there was nothing in his de meanor to warrant my apprehen sions, and I presently forgot John son's revelations, and ceased to lie awake at night listening lor sudden shrieks. Stormont had been with us a fort night when we went to a ball at the Duke of Bengal's. Lucy donned her diamonds, and I thought she looked very beautiful in them, and told her so. I was just kissing her - when we suddenly found that Stormont was in the room. Lucy blushed prettily at being caught in her husbaud's arms, and I dare say I grew hot. "We are going to a ball," I stam mered. "I was just telling my wife her diamonds became her." "So I heard," said Stormont. ! "May I look atyonrdiamonds, Lady Dennis?" He approached and gazed admir ingly at her necklace and earrings. "Beautiful!" he said several times. "Diamonds of the first water. I know something about diamonds; my great-uncle was a diamond mer chant." "If you were going with us, you would see far finer diamonds than mine," said Lucy. "The duchess has diamonds that are absolutely price less, and such a quantity! She has them sewn on to her dress, and two detectives close to her." "I wonder she dares walk about in such precious things," observed Stormont. "At large parties it is impossible to say what bad charac ters may not siip in." "Well, as a matter of fact, she doesn't walk about," said Lucy. "A few years ago she hurt her spine out hunting, and she is alwajs on the sofa." "Wouldn't you like to come with us, my dear fellow?" said I. "Thank you, I think not," he re plied plaintively; "I should like it, but I fear the noise and heat would hurt my head, Thank you. Lady Dennis, for letting me see your treas ures. I hope you keep them careful ly?" "Oh yes! Frank keeps them in his strong box, and when we travel they go to the bank," she replied. "Frank will lock them up tomorrow as safe as a church." "To-morrow, not till to-morrow?" exclaimed Stormont in a horrifud voice. "No," said she; "why should he tire himself? Nobody could take them out of our room." At this moment the carriage was announced, and I carried Lucy off. It was a grand ball, and the duchess lay in state, covered with superb diamonds, and watched by acute and intelligent functionaries. In the course of the evening a gentleman like strnmier, with a lonp;, fair beard and rather long, fair hair, addressed me and asked il I could point out Sir Francis Dennis. I told him that I was the gentleman in question, and bowed courteously. "You will excuse the liberty I took," he said, "but I believe my old friend George Stormont, is staying with you. I ouly heard of his where abouts to-day, and at cockcrow I start for the Continent, or I should have called to see him. Perhaps you will e ay that you met Col. L'Estrange." I was pleased with the colonel's manner. -and we entered into a con versation, and after a time he begged me to present him to the duchess. This 1 did willingly, knowing that the poor duchess's chief pleasure lay in talking with agreeable people, and after that I lost sight of him. It was late when he left, and on reaching home we found Stormont walking in the drive, smoking. He followed the carriage quickly and helped Lucv to alight, and we stood talking in the hall for a few minutes "And the duchess and her dia monds?" inquired Stormont pres ently. "The duchess and her diamonds were all there," said I. "By the way. Stormont, I met a friend of yours Col. L'Estrange. and I introduced him to the duchess, who, I under stand, was charmed with him." "He is a very nice fellow," said Stormont; "quite a ladies' man. I wonder what he was doing there? However. I musn't keep you, Lady Dennis, you must be very tired." We went upstairs, and, as usual, Lucy's diamonds were left on her dressing-table. We had done thisTgo repeatedly that if never occurred to us to do differently, notwithstanding the astonishment that Stormont had expressed. But we committed the indiscreation once too often. The next morning Lucy's exquisite dia monds were gone. ' An unusual event had happened at la&t, but it was too serious tor jok ing. Lucy was too miserable to get up, and at length I left her to her maid, and went down to breakfast alone, pondering what steps I should take. I had hardly poured out my coffee when Stormont came in. He held an open letter in his hand-, and seemed quite alert and cheerful. - "Good morning," he began eager ly. "I've heard from my sister. She is in London; has come up on purpose to meet me and wants me to join her to-day." "Indeed," said I absently. "Your sister Mrs. Macdonald in town oh!" Stormont looked at me, surprised. " Anything the matter?" he said. "Lady Dennis not well?" "Well, yes, something is the mat ter," said I. "Something deucedlydis agreeable has happened. My wife's diamonds have been stolon." "Good Lord!" exclaimed Stormont. He was so taken aback that he literally fell into a chair and sat staring at me. "Those diamonds?" he said at last. "Those splendid diamonds? I have no words. Did you lock them up?" "No," I replied, "I've been a con founded fool. But the diamonds were close to us, and we don't sleep heavily." "Whom do you suspect?" asked Stormont. "No one," I said. "All my servants have been with me for long. Some, one must have been secreted in the house." "And what are you going to do?" he asked. "Can I do anything in town? 1 must go up by the 3:15." We discussed the subject all the morning, and Stormont's indignant interest was very consolatory, and when Lucy appeared she was greatly cheered by his sympathy and hope fulness. He was certain that the rogues would be taken and the dia monds recovered. "You are very sanguine," said she. "You seem quite well today, Mr. Stormont" "I feel much better," he replied. "Joy is a fine doctor, and the ex pectation of seeing my sister has made another man of me. Then this astrocious burglary excites me to a pitch I can't describe. Lady Dennis, you shall recoveryour di amonds. I shall run down on Saturday to hear the news. A talk will be so much more satisfactory than letters." I drove Stormont to the station. By his advice I had not called in the local police, but telegraphed to London for a detective and I should meet him by a train which would ar rived soon after the '5.15 departed. "By the way," said Stoinniont, as we stood waiting on the platform, "about Col. L'Estrange what was he like?" "About your height," I said. "Thin and fair, with a long beard and lonjr ish hair. notmilitar3'-looking at all." A very peculiar expression came over his face, and he whistled softly. "My dear fellow,', he said, "that's your burglar! How these rascals get to know things passes my compre hension, but somehow they do I have a friend a Col. L'Estrange but he is stout and extremely dark, and wears a moustache only. I wonder he didn't pay his attention to the duchess's diamonds also." So he had. A gentleman came up at the moment, and after shaking hands, said, excitedly: "Heard the news, Dennis?" "Only my own, Shaw," I replied, dismally. My wife's diamonds have been stolen." "By Jove!" cried Shaw. "And the duchess lost twenty "of her finest dia monds last night, cut off her dress, while the detective stood by." We told him about L'Estrange, and he listened with interest. "We think it is a celebrated bur glar of the name of Paxton, alias Grubb," he said, lowering his voice. 'That's what the police think. They sav no other man could have done it." ,"I thought Paxton was safely out of the way," said Stormont, "Sure ly I remember hearing of him when I was a lad. Wasn't he concerned in the great diamond robbery of Grey Towers in'69?" "He was," replied Shaw, "but he's on the loose again now, and the police have been watching. A fort night ago Mrs. Howard lost her dressing-bag, with 2000 worth, of jewels in it. Paxton was suspected, and traced to Canterbury, then ga ve his pursuers the slip and disap peared." "He has probably been lying perdu intheneighborhood,"said Stormont, as the train came. "Dennis, write to me at Morley's if I can help you in the least. Au revoir till Saturday. Thank you beyond words for all your kindness." That evening as we sat at dinner, Mr. Stormont was announced. I rushed out. But the Stormont who stood before me, with Edgar Arrow smith's letter in his hand, was not the man who had gone to town that afternoon. In a moment I had real ized the truth. Stormont the first was Paxton the burglar. . Certainl a very uncommon thing had happened at last, and when Pax ton, was caught it all came out, how he had robbed Mrs. Howard, and hid ing In my grounds, had heard Lucy rejd her brother's letter aloud; how as Col. L'Estrange, undercover ol my introduction, he had robbed the duchess; how, as he stood on the platform talking of the burglary, the duchess's diamonds and Lucy's were actually on bis person. There was no doubt that Paxton had been su perlatively clever, and in my admira tion or his talents aud my sorrow that they were put to such ill uses, I forgave his chucking over his delight at having "gammoned that fool, Sir Francis." My dear wife never sighs for extra ordinary events now; we both think we have had enough of them. We are as happy as ever, for burglars cannot take away love and children, and good health and sweet temper. But we are happy minus the dia monds, for Paxton got themabroard before he was caught. I wanted to give Lucy some more, but she wouldn't let me. "I couldn't bear the responsibility again," she said. "Give them by and by to Baby's wjfe." As for the duke, he never wearies of chaffing me, and calling me Col. L'Estrange's confederate. LondoD Society. That Troublesome Trunk. I stumbled over an old-fashioned hair trunk as I jumped on the front platform of a crowded horse-car in Morrisania the other afternoon, says a New York Star reporter. A spruce looking young dude was using it as a foot-rest and when the conductor came out to collect fares he told the young man that he wanted an extra fare for carrying the trunk. "I've paid my fare, and that's all you get from me," said the dude. "All right snarled the conductor; "Then off it goes," and a. moment later he had bundled it off into the roadway. A couple of blocks farther on the conductor, who had been glowering at the dude all the way, said: "I to'd vou I'd throw it off, and I did see?" " "What's that .to me?" said the young fellow, quietly. "It isn't my trunk." While the conductor was running back after the trunk the dude stepped off the car, and, with the remark "serves him right for thinking I'd own such a looking thing," disap peared in the gathering gloom. tm Why Mary Had to Go. Mrs. B. recently visited her rela tives in the East and left her little daughter at home in charge of Mr. B. and Mary, the servant. When the mother returned the father was out of the city for the day, but the little daughter detailed all the events of importance that had transpired during her mother's absence, and amongst other things acquainted her with the fact that she knew some thing she had promised papa not to tell. The mother did her best to per suade the child to divulge her secret, but without avail. When the father returned and entered the room, and after he had fondly kissed and embraced his affectionate, wife, the youngster exclaimed: "Papa, I've told mamma all the news, but I didn't tell her anything about your kissing Mary." The little rogue vas just about as discreet as her papa was when he told her to keep mum. No amount of explanation on the part of Mr. B. could satisfy his wife and Mary had to go. Des Moines Graphic. Anxious to Get Letters. "I wonder more and more all the time," said a letter carrier to a writer in Parlor and Kitchen, "what makes people so anxious to get a letter. If a person is expecting to receive a challenge to fight a duel, or the reply of his lady love to a proposition of marriage, or even a check for $25, I can be eager and excited about it. Why there are some people upon my route who, I really believe, don't do anything else but sit down and wait for me to come, or else stand at the gate or window to watch for me. . If I say 'nothing to-day,' they groan and slink away. If I hand them a letter they fly with it into the house as if they had found a pocket-book." Practical Rather Than Senti mental. "Do you remember when and where, we first met?" I heard a loving wife ask her husband. "Certainly, my dear." "I'll wager you don't," she said; I don't believe you can tell me now." "The first time I met you," he said quite readily, "was at a charity ball at the hall," "So it was," "she said, quite pleased; "it i3 very nice to know you remember so well." And when she left the room he turned to me and said: "For heaven's sake don't say anything; but I remember because that night some fellow walked off with an $80 overcoat of mhoe, and I had to go home without any." San Francisco Chronicle. Use of Safes. Foreman Dakota Slasher I see the big safe you spoke of has arrived, "Yes; had it hoisted in this morn ing. Beauty, ain't it? Ten feet square on the inside, walls a foot thick, solid iron. I just tell y ou, nothing can go through that." "But you say you can't raise mon ey to pay the printers; what do you want of a big safe like that?" "Oh, that isn't to put money in. It's for me.to get into when my great reform crusade starts." New York Weekly. A Neat Compliment, Auber, who was chapel master at the Tuileries under the second empire, was a confirmed bachelor. One even ing, as the Empress Eugenie was chat ting with him, she asked if he never had regretted remaining unmarried. "Never, madame" replied the witty old man "and less than ever now. when 1 think that Mme. Auber would be nearly 80 years old." San Fran cisco Argonaut. Luna and Lunacy. The old idea that Luna and lunacy have an intimate relation appears to be not wholly without fonndation, according to ths Pall Mall Gazette. This, at an3r rate, is demonstrated by the commissioners in lunacy for Scotland that the seasons have a distinct influence on asylum statis tics. The tables of admissions dur ing the years 1880-7 show that there are two well marked periods one in which the number rises considerably above the average, and the other in which it falls considerably below". The average monthly numberfor the eight years was 1,699. During the three months of May, June, and July the number was 628 above what it would have been if the average num ber only had been admitted. On the other hand during the months of Oc tober, November, December and Jan uary, the mum ber was 462 Mow what it would have been if the average I number had been admitted. The tableshows furtherthat this rise and this fall are preceeded by a gradual rise and a gradual fall the rise tak ing place during February, March, and April, and the fall taking place during July, August, and September. "The special frequency," the com missioners say, "with which asylum treatment is resorted to during the period from the middle of April to the middle of July corresponds with what has been observed by asylum physicians that there is a tendency to an exacerabation of the mental disorder of patients in asylums dur ing the early part of summer; and it is interesting to notice also that statistics of suicide in the general population shows that this occurs most frequently during the same period." The greatest number of recoveries take place during June, July, and August, and they are fewest during the months of November, January, j and February. The regularity in the rise and fall of the numbers is twice interrupted by a fall in April, and the j fall is interrupted by a rise in Decem ber. "It is considered probable that these interruptions are due to some causes which recur regularly at these periods, because they are well marked m character; and it is suggested that the December rise is occasioned, in part, at least, by the annual statu tory revision of the condition of pa tients in asylums during that month. The revision is made bv medical offi cers of asylum with a view to deter mine whether they can pro erly give the certificate of the necessity for further detention in the asylum, which is anually required to legalize the continued residence of all patients who have been three years in au asy lum. The occurrence of thelnrgenum ber of recoveries during the months of June, July, and August is probably due to the large number of admis sions during May, June, and July, as more than 48 per cent of all the re coveries which take place during the first year of residence occur within three months of the date of admis sion." Another Wonderful Plant. There has been discovered in the forests ot India a strange plant, which possesses to a very high degree as tonishing magnet fc power. The hand which breaks a leaf from it re ceives immediately a shock equal to that which is produced by the con. ductor of an induction coil. At a distance of six meters a magnetic needle is affected by it, and it will be quite deranged if brought near. The energy of this singular influence va ries with the hours of the day. All powerful after two o'clock in the afternoon, it is absolutely annulled during the night. At times of storm its intensity augments to striking proportions. During rain the plant seems to succumb and bends its head duringa thunder shower. It remains there without force or virtue even if one should shelter it with an umbrella, No shock is felt at that time in break ing the leaves and the needle is un affected by it. One never by any chance sees a bird or insect alight on the electric plant; an instinct seems to warn them that they would find their sudden death. It is also im portant to remark that where it grows none of the magnetic metals are found, neither iron, nor cobalt, nor nickle an undeniable proof that the electric force belongs exculsively ; to the plant. .Light and heat, phos ' phorescence, magnetism, electricity, jhow many mysteries,and botanical problems does this wondrous Indian plant conceal within its leaf and flower! Women Ahead There. Tho constitution the state projec tors in Wyoming have been framing contains a peculiar feature or two that may not facilitate its entrance upon statehood. It is the only new state "iat has ever abolished the distinc tion of sex in the voter. This instru ment not only provides for female suffrage but establishes a new educa tional qualification. The voter must vote in English and read in English, and, if not a native, must be fully naturalized. This is a marked change from the practice of the other new states and some of the others in the west with a large alien born element. Women have had the right to vote in Wyoming in nearly all its history, and have sat on juries and held the lower judicial positions. But an ap plicant for admission, coming with this condition, may be discovered by wary congressmen to have insuf ficient population. St Paul Globe. A "penny famine" is now what threatens the large cities of the West and Southwest. The people have learned to use the long-despised 1 cent coin, and the needs of circula tion have increased far beyond the power of the government laehinery to supply them. The PI. iadelphia mint is two months behind with its oiders for these pieces, in spite of keeping at work night and day turn ing them out. HE LOVES HIS HOME. No Other Spot in All the World Is So Dear to the Cape Codder. To the Cape Codder, like the Ice lander and tho Swiss, his native province is tho best the sun shines on, says the New England Magazine. So unique, emphatic and persooal the Capo and its towns have become to those reared here, that a cape man finds nowhere else so glorious as home, so full of such sweet memories. Tho Cape colors him all his life the roots and fibers of hlra. Ho may get beyond, but he never gets over the Cape. Make him a merchant nt Manila or Calcutta, a whaler at the north pole, mate in Australian waters, a million aire on Fifth avenue, a farmer In Min nesota, and the Cape sticks to him still. He will eel in odd hours to his life's end tho crook tide on which he floated inshore as a boy, the hunger of the salt marsh in haying time, the cold splash of the sea spray at the harbor's mouth, tho spring of tho boat over tho bar when ho came home from fishing, with the wind rising on shore out of tbo gray niphfc clouds seaward, the blast of the wet northeastern in the September mora when under the drip ping branches lie picked up tho wind fall of golden and crimson apples, tho big-flaked snow of the December night when ho beauei his first sweetheart home from singing school; and he will soe, iu dreams. erhaps, tho trailing arbutus among tho gray mosses on the thin edge of a xpring snow bank, the bubbliDg spring at the hill foot near tidewater, the fat, crimson roses under his mother's windows, with a clump of Aaron's rod or lilac for background; tho yellow dawn of an October mornlug across his misty moors, and the fog of the chill pond amjuaf the pino trees, and above all, l he blue so.i with its hoadlanJ, on which go tho whito w in god ships to that groat far off world which tho boy had hoard of, and tho grown man knows so well. An Irlsli American Poo-IUh. Xo end to goo stories are told of Patrick Gleasoii. mayor of Long Island City, illustrative of his native shrewd ness and aptness at repartee, says th New York Star. Years ago, before he same into public life, Gloasou got possession of an aba idoaod stroet-Ciir track and proceeded tc run one car up on it. In tliis enterprise ho was a regular l'oo-liah. being superintendent, starter, conductor, and driver. One day a lady gavo him 10 cents and complained when he failed to return any change. Cle ison referred her to the Miperiiite;)dent. On arriving at the end of the lino ho stepped quickly into the ottieo and took his seat at the desk. When the lady appeared to make the charge ho ree?ived her with all the cotirtosy and dignity in tho world. and heard her through, and then told her that she would have to make her complaint iu writing. This de cision displeased her and she ox el imeu: "Why, you're only the driver! 1 will see the superintendent. " f beg your pardon, madam, " ropliod Patrick; "when I'm on tho car I'm the driver, but when .I'm behind tho desk I'm superintendent. You'll have to make si formal complaint in writing or your case will uot be considered." Tho lady left disgusted. An Kditorinl Necessity. House Agent "Lot me. see, I have a very nice vacant flat, sir, on " Applicant "Won't do. I don't want a Hat. I must have a house.' 'House?' "Yes. with a garden." Garden?" "Certainly." "Urn -well, now I think of it I have 'r.ni piace a littlo out that might suit. There i-a space of ten or fifteen square u'c' at the bae'e. It is now paved with sio;io. but tho pivement can betaken up ea-tily enough.'1 That will do."' "All right. Fond of (lowers, eh?' Xo. but I've got to have somo sort ol a. garden, you know, because I'm the editor of an agricultural paper." Ititehti of t'hlnese Husband. If a mat i be t? his wife, bat does not lirealc her limbs or maim her. the Chinese law takes no notice of it; if u wifobiats her hu-djiud she is liable tc ivci-ive JO blows, and tho husband m iy separate from her. Tho.se who have h -en shocked 'y the sale of wo men in the famine regions will be interested in knowing that the law pro vides that "he who from poverty sells his wife shall not be heavily punished; ot. the woman revert to the last hus band (that is. to the man she was bold to.") Heard Him Onre Too Often. Bilks: "Come up and hear our new minister to-day." Nobbs:"No thanks; I heard him once and have always re gretlol it." Bilks: "Why, I guess you are mistaken." Mobbs: ''Not a bit of it; he is the minister who married us." GEO. A. BELL. T. C. SHELLEY. C. W. MCCOY. S. V. McCOV. GEO. A. RELL, Hoc Salksman. BELL & Co. (Successors to McCoy Bios.) Live Stock Commission Merchants. lioom 3 Exchanurc Building-. Cash Advances on Consignments. kefehexces-ask your bank. Uniox Stock Yards, South Omaha, Nebraska. tf33 JONES, HE PAYS THE FREIGHT. 5-TON WACON SCALES, S6Q. BEAM SCX ThM S3AS3 TAEE BEAU. II Fretcht Paid. H Warranted Tor 5 Years 1 1 t - xx' .1 KMil for Terms. -llj. j&xzuxm - FARMERS' n t W n MAliAiiaA Ra JONES OF BINGHAMTON. Einghamton.N.Y The Iowa Steam Feed , Cooker., rno mont pruetical. imt eon yc nU'nt. nioht KnoinicHl. nril COOKER M Al)K. A Riant lit i ho fount ruction of it Jh-V iV'f 1 t'onv'n, any .,.. tnnt It I lur Kin.,.-!.,.. ... other, hir liKrii.n t..: larH and itrioou ...... ... ... .. HPK. It. Omaha. n'.V or MA id TIN STEAM Iowa. "'f" vwivr.ii to., Manning,. 3mG W. JKWKTT HKNDKKf ON, McCredle, Mo. J. I. IIkmukkoon iulton. Mo. W. Jewett Henderson & Co. the very lowest. Personal Insneetion Inviuil anucorresDonueiuiesolltitCMj. siimi J . ROBINSON, Kknksaw, Adams County, Xisr.u. a . j Breeder and Shipper f Reeordiil PoIhu.i China Hok. Choice Breeding ,stork t"r sale. Write for wants. Mention Tho Allium ,.. Wm. Daily & Co. live STOCK Cattle, Hogs, Sheep and Horses. CASH ADVANCES ON COXSKiN MKNTS. ROOM 31, Exchange IJuilimno, Union Stock Yards, South Omaha. Refkhences: Ask your Bankers. ixtf J. C. McBRlDE ii. s. nixu McBMDE & BELL DEALEB3 IN Real Estate, Loan and Insurance Office, 107 S. 11th St., Basement, LINCOLN, - - - NEBRASKA. Agents for M. K. &Tnnt Co. rtounen Buitt on tt u years' time. Debt cancelled In eut or Death. Anything to trade let us know of it. BEATRICE mm&m WORKS- CHA'S HEIDHART, Proprietor. 618 EAST COURT STREET, N. E. OF" POST OFFICE. EstSLlolisliecl 1863. MAKBLE AND GRANITE MONUMENTS. HEAD STONES, TABLETS, VAULTS, SARCOPHAGI. & CEMETERY" WORK OF A LL K I N DS. 3tr Branch Yards, Biowuvilleand Rock Tort, Mo. NOTICE TO MILLERS For Sale or Rent, A Roller Flouring mill with water power, one mile from Lincoln. A. J. SAWYER GAEAT-WESTEBN-FEEO- LARGE riRE-BOX, 3 FEET LONG w - IT M Kt T rZ ENTIRELY if L? W te. " 1 i, . - - - A - 1 Great Western Feed Steamer AND TANK HEATER Cooke one to three barrels feed atonn Ailing Firebox surrounded with water on top ami Bides. Any kind of fuel. Easily manajn-d n l cleaned aa a box etove. Send for Circular. Ajrents wanted. BOVEE H. M. .. 3mltt Tama, low PAY RETAIL PRICES WHEN YOU CAN SOY AT WHOLESALE WHATEVER YOD EAT, WEAR OR USE. WE2 II A. VIC NO AGHTNTS Write tor full Catalogue Sent razz. H. R. EAGLE & CO., Famisrs' Wholesale Supply Uouzcf 63 WABASH AVE.- CMIC5ACO. W. D. NICHOLS GENERA L DEALER IN Real Estate, BEATRICE, NEB. Hare some Fine Bargains In Improved Farms. Lots For Sale In Every Addition iu the City. OFFICE, .505 COUBT ST. TELE. H3. mt LINCOLN AND INSTITUTE OF PENMANSHIP, Shorthand, aud Typewrit Iiir, 1m the tx-st and lanrrat. College tn the West. G00 Student In aitnlnnwW year. Sttidents prepared for buRlnem In from 3 U months. Experienced faculty. Personal ltiatructfofi Beautiful Illustrated catalogue, college Journal, and specimen of petmmnnhi, Bent free by uddreiMliiK - JULUWUDUE & ROOiiE, Uueolu, Neto. HI 2 Z rv . f V BREEDERS AND HHI1'- I'ER8 OK PUKE III(KI f POLANl) CHINAS of tho - irT-Ji- Pivn furnished in airx a mi i i iiin inn mkiii. ith a Commission HeiGhants MABEL Emm mm r S 7Y 71