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WHY THEY WANTED A REPOR TF.Tt.
'Whca I waaVorkinsr on a St. Louis
paper," saul au oUl newspaper reporter
over his midnight lunch". "1 hail rather
queer experienca. I dropped into the
office one evening after dinner and the
eity editor asked me to go np to
Chouteau avenue and see what was
wanted. A card had been received ask
ing that a reporter' should call. I
'thought that perhaps thero was a'wed--lng,
or something of that sort, and bo
I went to the house. I rang the bell.'
.A young woman opened the door
'Step into the pnrlor, please,' she said.
I removed my overcoat and hat and en
tered the parlor. There' were three
j'onng ladies sitting in the parlor, which
Xros handsomely furnished. The young
Jady who opened the door followed mt
into the apartment. I sat down, and,
'to mako inyself agreeable, chatted
about some conventional topic. All the
; young ladies engaged in the conversa
tion, and before I was aware of it 1
t found an hour had slipped by. No one
had said anything to me about what the
reporter was required for, so at last I
masked:
. "'Well, miss, can you inform me
what it is that you wished a reporter
for?' .
"The 3'oung ladies at this all smiled
;ond looked at one another. I thought
that there was something interesting
-and I finally asked boldly:
" 'Well, I'm a reporter for the Demo-
crat. What can I do for 3rou?'
" 'O,' said the young woman who hnd
opened the door, 'I'm sure there is
nothing.'
" 'Well,' I said, 'why was the presence
of a reporter desired?'
"All the young ladies smiled and at
last one of them said:
."'Why, Cousin Annie is engaged to
;ft reporter, and as w e had never seen a
reporter we thought we would write the
""-oflicc and have one call, so that we could
look and sco what kind of a person a re
porter, is.
"At this naive reply I rather wilted
and as soon as I could I pot ont of the
house. I often wonder now what sort
--t it vnrx fivis thoSn vonncr women im-
pil n renortor to be." Cincinnati
'I'Jio IHiioy Suvod.
' Detective "I have discovered, sir,
"that your confidential book-keeper, lIr.
De Clerk, is a defaulter to the extent, of
many thousands of dollars. As he has
lived plainly, and has not gambled in
stocks, he must still have nil your money
in Lis possession; but if we arrest him,
you will never get it, of course; and if
xv-i; corner him and try to compromise
-r half or two thirds, he will probaWly
skip to Canada with the whole boodle."
jBnsi ijp.sk Man "My goodness! Mr.
De Clerk!"
i Mr. Do Clerk "Yes, sir."
. Business Man "Mr. De Clerk, a few
lays njro I refused you the hand of my
i .lau;rhter, and I afterward employed this
I gentleman, who is a detective, to look
I ,xwclosely into your personal character and
letail to your correct habits and busi
ness aptitude that I have changed my
-iniiid. You shall have her." New York
Weekly.
. llHt ICcotiofiilziiiir Holler Tube).
French engineers have recently' been
testing boiler tubes with ribs or flanges
on the inside, the invention of Mr.
Jean Serve. A larger sursace for ab
sorbing the fire's heat is presented, and
a saving of fuel ranging from one-third
to one-seventh has has been indicated.
In experiments on a Ilhone steamboat
. it was found that with ordinary copper
tubes the combustion of one pound of
coal evaporated seven pounds of water,
and the sniode issued from the boiler at
ft temperature of 680o f., but when the
tubes were taken out and the Hanged
: ones inserted, the evaporation immedi
ately rose to nine and a third pound of
water per pound of coal, and the heat of
the escaping gases fell to 4(50 degrees.
Tlie fSlcclrlcal OmiilbiiM in London.
TIh3 electrical omnibus lately left the
depot of the Ward Electrical Car com
panv, and ran to Ens! on Nation. Some
. ol tlie directors and cue managers oi tlie
Liverpool tramways company were
awaiting it, with Sir George Baden
Powell, M. J, and Mr. Moulding, the
chairman of the sanitary committee of
the Liverpool corporation. The omni-
.'lms returned by wny of Enston road,
Great Portland street, and llegent street,
Hay market. It came through the
crowded traffic without exciting au3r
alarm on the part of even private car
riage horses.
t'Kcn of clonic.
Mr. Birch (who has told his scholars
the story of Sir Walter Raleigh's using
his cloak to enable Queen Elizabeth to
pass over a puddle dry-shod, and who
wishes the class to understand that
Raleigh was a thorough gentleman)
''Now, children, that you have heard
this pretty storv, what do 3-ou think of
Sir Walter Raleigh ?" Tommy Twiggs
."Was he lookiu' for an ofiie'e?" Puck.
Adding I'ritvlxo.
An old vag who had leen in the habit
of calling on a certain business man on
Griswold street for dimes was asked the
other day how much he would take to
keep away for all future time.' He
thought for a moment and then replied:
'G;ve me 50 cents and I'll never bother
you again." "I'll do it. Here, let me
draw up a writing to that effect." An
agreement was drawn up and the vag
read it over and laid it down with the
remark: "I can't do it; there's some
thing cold-blooded about that." "But
yon agreed to." "Yes, I know; but
think of a man selling his manhood for
50 cents! I'd starve first!" "Well, how
much do you want?" "A dollar." "I'll
e-plit the difference with 3'ou." "Well,
I'll sign, but I want a proviso inserted
that I do not hereby lose my self-re-pect,
and that I do not forfeit the
"-right to come up stairs and strike the
man in the next room if I get hard up."
It was added, and he signed and went
off to strike a free lunch counter. De
troit I ree Press.
ItlUnnmrd. Finite.
x. Prof. Moebius has proved, as lately
Ftated to the Berlin Physiological so
ciety, that the anatomical arrangements
of the firing fishes fins and muscles
make flight impossible. The fish
simply shoots up out of the
water wheu frightened and .is car
ried along by the wind. Tlie buz
asing of the fins, which has been urged
is proof of real flight, is produced
when a strong current of air strikes the
tins of even a dead fish, and the rising
over the crest of a wave or the bulwarks
01 a snip 13 explained by the ascending
x.ui.cuib oi uir prouueeu wnenever a
trong horizontal wind strikes an elo-
-"uea object like the wave or ship.'
... . :
. uaua utarrh cure is a liquid and is
taken internally, and acts directly on the
unjou ana me mucous surfaces of the sys
t-em. Write lor testimonials, free. Manu
(actured by v
v . J. F. CHENEY & CO. Toledo, O.
THE FAITHFUL CLOCK.
AUl.o-Jsh my lianas are on my face,
An l oli the time 1 go on tick; .
Trust me. mine is a worthy case.
.Th slow may tkink 1 am too qmcc.
But fast and slow at once may ee
At any time good works ia me.
Good hours from day to day I keep;
No one down early, none up late,
Una ever caught me fast as-leep.
If 1 1 un down. I loe my weight;
If I should tJike a single drop
'T would break me, and my works woefS
stop.
A man wound up ism a fix, - ' '
But win J me up and I can cro. ,
Though hard the timet, I play no trlclca.
And yet it ia on tick I do
The const jnt work of my two band -A
task the workman understands.
I ometimps strike, hut only hit
The laggards who are out too lat;
And some of them hare little wit,
And skulla to thick that if my weight
Upon their btupid headsehould drop,
They would not know what made them stop.
George W. Bungay.
BREAKING THE SPELL
How many acres of lnnd dfti yfou
say?" asked Miss Caxton.
"Five-and-fortyj ma'am,'' said
Major Bluff, leaning back in his chair
with the complacency of one who sees
in the future a snug commission.
"Just on the edge of the river fine
arable land, aud a part of it well
wooded. Couldn't be a better prop
erty. "And a large house, you tell me."
"Thirty-six rooms, Miss Caxton.
Intended for a summer hotel, but
proved a failure on account of being
too far from the railway station."
"That would form no sort of ob
jection to me," said Miss Caxton
twirling her ej'eglasses meditatively.
"Not the least in the world!" said
Major Bluff balancing the office-ruler
on the third finger of his reft hand,
and if you want to secure a bargain
now is your time."
.'.'I'll go out and look at it," said
Miss Caxton, who, if she was any
thing, was prompt.
She did so. She saw Olney Hall
outlined against the orange
glow of a March sunset, with the
ruddy reflections yet lingering on
the woods rising up in the back
ground and the blue range of hills in
the distance.
"It's a nice place," said she. I'll
buy it. At the price it is certainly
a cheap, piece of property."
"While she was waiting for her hot
cup of coffe, before the one-horse chaise
started to convey her to the railway
station, five miles away, she asked a
a few questions of the rosy landlady..
"Going to buy Olney Hall?" said,
the lady, as she brought in hot but
tered mufiiins. "Well I'm glad
somebody is croinsr to buy it. I'ts
been a drug on the market ever since
She checked herself here and pre
tended to be busy arranging the neat
little butter-pat "and pitcher of cream
on the napkin covered tray.
"Since when?" Miss Caxton asked
with alertness.
"Since the neighbors got up that
ridiculous ghost story about it,"
said Mrs. Hutf hings, with a forced
laugh. "Of course it's all nonsense,
but people will talk"
"What was the story?" asked Miss
Caxton.
"Oh, nothing to signify. Hutch
ings wouldn't have no patience with
me if he knowed I had spoken of it,"
pleaded the women.
"Since you've said so much you
may as well say the whole," observed
Miss Caxton, fixing on the shrinking
landlady that judical gaze which had
appalled many of a successive gen
eration of school girls.
"Well, the Olneys was a dreadful
quarrelsome family," reluctantly
spoke Mrs. Hutchings, "and some
thing was always wrong there. Old
Jabez Olney hung himself in the big
circular hall, with a rope hitched
over the banister-rail; and Mrs.
Peter Olney was flung from a horse,
lest in front of the door, with her
head agin the stone step, and never
drawed two breaths afterward.'
"That might happen to any
body," said Miss Caxton as she
added another lump of sugar to her
coffee.
"Oh, yes; that might. But there
was Alice Olney!"
"What of Alice Oleny?"
"She aud her father had troubled
about the attentions of a vouns:
man in the neighborhood" said Mrs
Hutchings. "He locked her up stairs
in her room, and she got out upon
the roof and throwed herself down
Some says so, and some says she
lost her balance wavin' her pocket
handkerchief to her beau, and fell
accidental. Leastwisie she was
killed. And since that day some of
the neighbors declare solemnly that
they see her, all in white, on the roof
every Ash Wednesday night! ,
"Ash Wednesday night! What
has Ash Wednesday night. 'to 'do
with it?"
"fJh, didn't 1 tell your niveryone
o these dreadful things happeneu,
takln one year with another, on
Ash Wednesday. That s the queer
part of it," said Mrs. Hutchings.
Miss Caxton set down her cup and
saucer with a clatter.
"That ascounts, in some degree.
for the extraordinary cheapness of
the property," said she. "But
shall not let it daunt me. People
will build up a ghost story on the
most absurdly insufficient founda
tion, nowadays."
"Just what Hutchings says," cried
the landlady. ,
Miss Caxton bought Olney Hall
at a bargain. She fitted it up for a
nrst-class young ladies seminary,
and had it failed with pupils when th
summer vacation drew to an end.
For Miss Caxton was an excellent
teacher, and did not lack in executive
ability.
Undoubtedly, as she told herself,
the ghost rumor detracted from the
desirability of the premises: but one
or two hints from a spectacled law
yer as to suits for damages, in case
of too much neighborhood loquacity,
exercised a truly marvelous influence
in silencing people's tongues and the
"sweet girl graduates" and thir
mates disported themselves on the
moonlight lawns, floated down the
sunlit stream in delicious little boats,
and organized botanical excursions
into the wood, undisturbed by any
visions of the supernatural.
"Olney Hall was a bargain after
all," said 1 Miss Caxton, as she
turned over the leaves of her ac
count book and ledger with a satis
fied smile.
But as the season'approached where
in the ghost was said to make its
annual uninvited visit, Miss Caxton
could not repress a certain uneasi
ness. "It is very ridiculous of me," she
said to Mrs. Bibb, her housekeeper
and confidant, "but I shall certainly
feel better when the month of Feb
ruary is over."
"My dear Carolina" said Mrs.
Bibb, who feared nothing in the
world or out of it.
"Yes, I know," said Miss Caxton.
"But you must remember there is a
fallible spot in every armor and 1
think this is mine."
Mrs. Bibb looked at the illumina
ted calendar that hung above the
mantel.
"Well," said she. "Ash Wednes
day comes on the fifteenth this year.
To day is the tenth. Your season of
probation will soon be over now."
"I do not suppose that one of our
sixty pupils have heard that ridicu
lous nonsense," said Miss Caxton.
"Not one!" said Mrs. Bibb decided
"If we can pass over tins nrst an
niversary, we are all right," said
Miss Caxton
"We are all right!" automatically
rr, ated Mrs. Bibb
Ash Wednesday, like the Ides of
March arrived, and not the keenest
eye could have detected the least
change in Miss Caxton's demeanor,
as the slow hours crept on, settling
at last into the warm purplish twi
light of a winter night, in which hung
the crescent of a young moon, silver,
pale and pure
Tea passed over, the last yawning
school-girl went unwillingly to bed,
and Mrs. Bibb wa3 just returning
from administering a does of laud
anum and sweet oil to the youngest
pupil, who was afflicted with earache,
when one of the housemaids bounced
out of the dinning-room door and
stood before her as pale as a sheet of
paper.
"Please, ma'am," .clasping Jaer
hands over head, "it's there!"
"What's there? What's there?"
sharply demanded Mrs. Bibbs.
"Why, you know, ma'am," said
the porter, who was close behind with
an empty coal scuttle in his hand by
way of excuse, "and we knows, and
all the village folks knows "
"And everybody knows, gasped
the fat old cook, "except those dear
lambs in the dormitory up stairs.
Ain't it Ash Wednesday night, into
the bargain?
"Are you all crazy?" sternly de
manded Mrs. Bibb, holding her lamp
high above her head, like a statue
of "Liberty Enlightening the World."
or have 3rou been drinking:
"Hush, Louisa! said the calm
composed voice of Mi3s Caxton.
"This matter is best settled by being
enquired into, My good people,
lacing the little crowd which was
now augmented by two or three more
scared maids, the knife-boy and the
gardener's assistant, "what does all
this mean?
"It's Ash Wednesday, mum,', mut
tered the cook, ftomewhat cowed by
her mistresses magisterial aspect.
"It's the ghost!" cackled the
rr ci T
dener's assistant.
"On the ruff o' the house!" whis
pered the original housemaid. "And
1 seen it with theseeves! And there s
some things as flesh and blood can't
endure; and a month's warning,
ma am, please!
"Give me a shawl, Mary Anne,"
said Miss Caxton, taking Mrs. Bibb's
arm, "Oblige me, my dear Louisa,
with yonr company for a mmute.
And Miss Caxton; accompanied by
the faithful Mrs. Bibb, and followed
by a stream of quacking and whisp
ering retainers, opened the door and
walked out upon the lawn.
There stood Miss Parker, the mu
sic teacher, Fraulein Ohibach, the
German instructress, and the rest of
the maids, staring up towards the
roof of the old Hall.
"Didn't I tell you so?" said Miss
Caxton. "There is nobody there.
How could there be?"
"Wait!" gasped Miss Parker. "It
was there iust now. It comes and
goes!" ,
Almost as she uttered the words a
white figure glided across the roof in
full view, plainly outlined against
the starlight.
Mrs. Bibb could feel her friend
start, but the irresolution was mo
mentary. Like a female Napoleon,
Miss Caxton turned once more to the
crowd.
tiave the goodness to remain
here, said she," and be silent. Ghost
or reality, I mean to investigate this
affair. Mrs. Bibb will accompany
me.
"Certainly!" said Mrs. Bibb, with
alacrity.
"Oh, please, mum, don't," whis
pered the cook. "There don t no
luck come to nobody as meddles with
But Miss Caxton and her lieuten
ant paid no attention, keeping on
their way through the hall, up flight
alter night of chilly stone stairs, un
til at last thev climbed the ladder
and emerged into the frosty star
light; nearly running into the arms
of Mary De Barreter, the eldest ot
the graduating class, who' stood
there staring into the ky, while close
beside her crouched Nettie Vane, the
valedictorian of the year, with a fur
lined cloak muffled around her, while
Miss De Barreter was wrapped in a
white flannel blanket folded above
her other srarments.
"It s Miss Caxton!" shrieked Mary.
"And the Bibb!" screamed Nettie,
totally forgetful of her - manners.
"Oh, Polly, we are lost!"
Miss Caxton laid her hand, smooth
as velvet, yet firm as steel, on the
shoulder of the white vision.
"Miss De Barrester," said she,
"may I enquire what you are doing
here, at this time of night, and in
this remarkable costume?"
"It's me, Miss Caxton." confesses
tlie conscience stricken valedictorian
"I'm telling her stars. All about her
future husband, you know, and the
rivals she is to have, by astrology."
"By what?" echoed Miss Caxton.
"Uncle Jamie's.Greek servant that
came home from Constantinople with
him taught me," said Miss Vane;
"and Polly's natal star is on the
meridian to-night, and on we didn't
suppose you would know.""
xou are two very naughty girls!"
sternly spoke Miss Caxton. Step this
way, please", both of you, towards
the parapet."
Uracious goodness! You re not
going to throw us off the roof, are
you?" said Miss De Barreter, with a
giggle.
"Mary Ann, Thomas, Peter all ol
you," said Miss Uaxton, in a voice
like a well bred trumpet, "I wish you
to observe that Miss De Barreter and
Miss Vane have taken it into their
wise heads to go star gazing to
night. Now are you satisfied?"
"Satisfied about what?" said "in
nocent Nettie, t
"The servants sawyou up there,"
said Miss Caxton, "and I suppose
must have taken for you"
"Burglars! Oh! how funny! cried
Mary, dancing up and down to keep
warm. As if there could be anything
to steal off the roof. But please.
Miss Caxton, you're not very angry
with us, are you'f You won't write
to our parents?"
"This must never happen again!"
said Miss Caxton, severely.
"No, indeed!" cried Nettie Vane,
Jffgmg and kissing her. "And it
was no use! I couldn't find Cassiop
eia's chair, and the pointers of the
North Star had got clear around in
the wrong direction, and old Con-
stantine's system wouldn't workl
And 1 am quite sure that astrology
is a humbug from beginning to end?"
Miss Caxton lectured the two girls
up stairs, having hist secured the
kev.
Mrs. Bibbs went down stfiirs, and
in her return lectured the thoroughly
conquered servants.
"Let me never hear the word
'ghost' again" she said, "on pain oi
instant dismissal, without a charac
ter." ,r ;: ;:r: ": "-'
"No, mum; we won't!" said the ser
vants in unison. "But it was Ash
Wednesday night!"
"Which only proves, sternly ut
tered Mrs. Bibb, "that you can be aa
great fools on Ash Wednesday night
as upon any other night in the year. '
And the domestic force of Olney
Hall were unprepared with an an
swer to this overwhelming argument.
Practical Jokes. -
A practical joke is a sorb of trick
played by one person upon another,
in the hope of making hir.i uncom
fortable and ridiculous. To put one's
friend in an absurd situation, to in
terfere with his rights, to do some
thing which will hurt him in body
or mind, not very deeply perhaps,
yet really, is the object of the prac
tical joker. I have never in my life
been able to see the least good, the
least innocent fun, in practical jokes,
but I have seen a great deal of evil
and mischief resulting from them. I
cannot think of a person addictedlto
practical joking- as anything but
mean anu couLempiiuie. ror now
can we honor the disposition which
takes pleasure in cruelty;
Some years ago, just at dusk, a
maid servant in a certain beautiful
home took it into her head that it
would be rare fun to dress heself in a
sheet and frighten another one of the
servants. So she slipped into the
grounds, hid herself behind a
tree, and waited her oppor
tunity. Dancing merrily along,
singing with a voie'e like a bird,
came a sweet little daughter of the
house, who had been sent on an
errand to the lodge at the end of
the green avenue. The merry child,
sensitive to her finger-tips, caught a
glimpse of the straight, stark figure
skulking behind the oaks, and was
so frightened that a few months
afterward she died of nervous
shock the physicians said, which
then began its fatal work. -
In one of our New England col
leges a youth who had been study
ing hard that he might enter the
Freshman Class was startled from
his sleep at midnight by a party of
fellows in masks, who proceeded to.
make sport for themselves by the
stupid process called "hazing" their
companion. They had their silly
tun, hut it is to he hoped that none
of the number engaged in it can ever
think of that night without a pang,
for it made the youth insane.
I don't like to believe that any of
my readers engage in this wretched
kind of jesting. If they do, it is be
cause they have never looked at it
from the right point of view. There
isn't among my friends one, I am
sure, who would be happy in making
any one else miserable
I saw Fred the other day perched
in a nook 'way 'way up in a tall
tree, anl I thought. "What a splen
did climber you are, .bred, and how
nimbly you'd run to the mizzen-top
if you were a sailor boy!" I knew
that Fred was as sure-footed as a
cat, and had eyes like a squirrel, and
the grip of a monkey, so I was not
alarmed on his account. Not so his
mother. She came to the door,
called "Fred! Fred!" and finally des
cried him in his airy nest, from which
"his voice fell like a falling star."
Then she was greatly distressed and
frightened, and I was disappointed
in Fred, because, instead of relieving
her fears at once, he said:
"Oh, pouf, mamma! there's no
danger. Why are you so excited?
I've been here dozens of times."
He did descend at last, but. a true
gentleifcan and Fred means to
be a gentleman would not have al
lowed a woman to be frightened even
for an instant, especially when the
woman was his own mother.
The spirit which leads one not to
care when a friend is suffering ter
ror on one's account is the same
which makes the practical jest pos
sible. Aunt Marjorie's children
must banish this if they would make
their little world happy. Harper's
Young People.
An East Saginaw family ihat is
supported by public charity scraped
together money enough to pay the
tax on a $3 dog.
CUKBEST EVENTS.
The Southern PresbyterianGeneral
Assembly has voted ayes 113, noes
31 against the doctrine of Evolu
tion. But even that hardly settles
the vexed question. -
; .
.
New Yobk City has one physician
to about every four hundred people;
Paris, one to about 1,475. In the
whole of France there is about one
physician to 3,000 inhabitants; in
England one to every 1,200, and in
the United States one to every 750.
Chief Shay, of the New York Fire
Department, has been retired at his
own request for disability. He will '
receive f 2,350 a year half the
amount ot the pay of a chief in act
ive service. As Mr. Shay is not yet
55 years of age, this pension seems
like a royal reward for civil service.
..'.- '-.,.'"."
The chattel-mortgage shark is a
man who has a deep very deep in
terest in his patrons. A case has
been exposed by the New York press
in which a hard-hearted wretch, is
seeking to compel a woman to pay
$111.70 for the use of $300 for
three months. - .
Master Jabez Bailey, of Fitch-
ville, Conn., has broken six sheep to
harness, and he drives them about
the village daily. He is not 15 years
old,but has broken oxen and horses.
He is going to tackle pigs next, and
if he is successful with them will try
breaking a team of hens, and next
geese or turkeys;
At Heading the other day a young
man who had hired a livery team
returned to the stables, when it was
seen the horses had been overdriven.
Without any ceremonv the vounsr
man was lifted up bodilv and
thrown into trough. It is said
to be an old custom in Eastern
Pennsylvania to duck men who abuse
horses or fail to pay their bills.
At certain seasons of the year
there is a mysterious disappearance
mnia. It is strange that such
things occur in cycles, and that in
this country, where the communica
tion is so general anq minute, at cer
tain intervals a number . of people
may disappear from a place and
their whereabouts remain a mystery.
Where do they all go to and what
becomes of them?
There is a most wonderful poplar
tree growing just beyond Sharp Top
Mountain, a few miles from J asper,
Ga. It has two trunks, both per
fectly developed, and standing two
or three feet apart at their bases,
and look exactly like two smooth,
straight poplar trees. At a height
of 30 or 40 feet these two trees come
together and form one perfect body
from where they join to the top.
There has been discovered, four
miles south of Rattlesnake Springs,
Washington Territory, an extensive
ledge of marble, in which beautiful
trees or plants of moss are as fre
quent and as clearly defined as in the
moss agate, though the marble is
not translucent. The body of the
stone is mostly white, with splotches
of pink and blue between the bunches
of moss.
Henry C. White, of New York, in
a letter to the Tribune, says: There
is really no ground for the theory of
the formation of a deaf race of men,
simply because out of the 33,000
deaf mutes, fully eighty percent, lost
hearing from sickness or from purely
accidental causes, and the defeat is
not repeated in the offspring; on the
other hand, congenital deafness ha3
been decreasing, as is shown by the
annual reports of every State insti
tution in the land."
A gigantic whale that has been ex
hibited lor some time in JJernn was
recently transported to Vienna, but
on reaching the Austrain frontier the
custom authorities refused for a
long time to pass the monster of the
deep, on the ground that "such a
thing" was not registered in the cus
torn tariff! The Austrains seem to
have a prejudice against whales, for
this one does not seem to have had
a friendly reception from the popul
ace 111 Vienna either.
A young Hollander, who had been
working "in disguise" as an ordi
nary laborer in several of the large
furniture factories of the West, turns
out to be the son of a wealthy cotton
goods " manufacturer at Henejtoff.
He came to the country to learn the
wood manufacturing business, and
will return to his native country,
where he will establish a sash, door
and blind factory, equipped with the
latest American machinery. This is
an improvement on the general rtm
of foreigners who came to t his coun
try "in disguise" as fortune hunters
and disturbers of peace-loving minds:
1
Half a Shine.
A man with very muddy boots was
accosted by a juvenile polisher with
the usual question: "Black your
boots, sir?" "No." "Black 'em for
two cents!" "No." "I'll do 'em for
nothing!" "All right!" The young
hopeful set about . his work with
great energy, and soon had one boot
in bright, shining condition. Then,
turning up his face to the blackee, he
gravely announced: "Now, you'll
have to give me five cents to do the
other." .
Thick brown paper should be laid
tinder carpets if the patent thing is
not to be had. It saves wear and
prevents the inroads of the moths,
which, however, will seldom give
trouble if tarred paper is placed be
neath the edg
Pavement of American Pine.
It anneais that wood pavements have
met with greater success in some of the
countries of Europe than iu onr own,
the reason assigned for this beinqr the
fact of their having a foundation of con
crete to rest upon m the former, at the
same time receiving more- attention
there in the way of maintenance than
here. Owing to its hardness and resin
ous quality, American yellow pine, it Is
stated, has become the favorite wood for
this purpose in Hamburg and Berlin;
and official report says that Frederick's
Bridge, Berlin, which was paved in the
spring of 1879 wilfll the wood in question,
is still in good condition, while the ap
proaches, paved with granite block,
have twice since required repaving.
The Opera platz, also, in front of the
Empcror'a palace, was paved seven
years ago, partly with yellow pine and
cypress, at a point where the traffic is
greatest, while at other points stone
blocks were used, the laying of the dif
ferent surfaces with these several ma
terials being at the same time. Accord
ing to the report, the area covered with
the wood pavement is at present the
one thnt is best preserved.
The Down.
C. Hills, in the Breeders' Gazette,
says: "My judgment as to the special
qualities cf the several breeds of mutton
shee has been given very frankly, with
out any purpose of detracting from the
merits of any to which they are justly
entitled or exaggerating as to those for
which I am most partial. As stated be
fore, in this extensive country of ours,
with its varied soil and climate, it is safe
to sny that all of the Down breeds can
be introduced into some parts and bred
with profit to the breeder and great ad
vantage to the country. In all our large
cities there has for years past been a
good demand, at liberal prices for first
class mutton. This demand, is now ex
tending to the smaller places and gradu
ally our people are learning to appre
ciate and make use of it more and more,
and it is reasonable to assume that in the
near future we shall .become like onr
British ancestors, a nation of mutton
eaters.
1,000,000 riiUd-Wtdowa.
Edward Everett Hale, talking before
the Iiamabai association in New York,
on Monday, in furtherance of a fund for
the child-widows of India, mentioned
some interesting facts. Ho said that in
India there are 100,000,000 women.
Twenty million of thejse are widows, and
nearly 1,000,000 are "child-widows"
under the ago of 19 who are enduring
a bondage worse than slavery. He said
it was the custom for a man in India to
have as high as 100 wives, some of whom
were compelled to marry as early as 8
or 9 years of age. When the husband
died his numerous wives joined the vast
army of ulaves. These widows are com
pelled to wear one dress, have to eat one
meal a day, are never allowed to speak
to a man, excepting their own flesh and
blood relations, and cannot marry again,
except to a man iu their own caste,
which very rarely happens. Philadel
phia BecordL
Where Work Is Pleasant.
Neglected Wife-"Why don't you go
to work?"
Husband fa ne'er-do-well) "I ain't
got no tools."
Neglected Wife "Deacon Smith of
fered yon five dollars to fix his fence,
and A'ou have a saw, and a plane, and
a hammer and nails. What more do
you want?
Husband "The saw ain't no good,
and I nin t got no file to sharpen it.
(Jul bmith km hx his fence hisself.
Same Husband (ten years later) Hist!
Sajy wife, I have escaped from the
penitentiary. Gimme somo other
clothes, so I kin light out agin."
ife "My, my 1 How did yon get
out?
Husband "I dng forty feet under
ground with a two-tined fork, and then
cut my way through two feet of stone
wall aud ten inches of boiler iron with
a saw made ont of a tin dinner plate."
rsew lork Weekly.
Oregon, the Paradle ot Farmers.
Mild, equable climate, certain and abundant crorn.
Bept I'm 1 1. grain, gma and atock country la tna
world. Full in form at I un free. Addres tUe Orejfu
Immigration UoarJ, l'ortlaud, Orezou.
A New League.
The New York Mail and Express has
discovered a league of men in that city
who are pledged not to attend evening
parties so long as the women wear low
necked dresses. The reason for this
pledge is not excessive modesty on the
part of the men, oh no, but the instinct
of self-preservation. It is complained
that the rooms where low neck dressed
women are displayed, have to be kept so
hot for the benefit of the women, that
tlie men suffer from becoming over
heated so that they take cold upon pass
ing out into the open air, pneumonia
follows and death ensues. Thus deco
letto dresses are actually killing off the
men, who are none too .plenty at the
best. '
In 1830 ''Brown's Bronchial Troches"
were introduced, and their success as a
cire for Colas, Coughs, Asthma, and Bron
chitis has been unparalleled.
Troops have gone to
to eject settlers.
the Cherokee strip
. Sheriff Sale.
Smoke the Sheriff SaleSejjar. A straight
10 cents Havana Cigar for 5 cents.
Peach yellows are on the increase in the
Delaware peninsula.
There are 85S soldiers drawing a pension
of $72 per month.
When Baby was rick, wo gave her Castorla,
When sho was a Child, cue cried for Castorla,
When she became Miss, sho clung to Castorla,
When che had Children, she gave them Castorla,
The centennial celebration at New York
cost $2,000,000.
The source ot the Mississippi river has
been discovered in two lakes 110 feet above
Lake Itaska.
The production from the machinery ot
the United State is more than equal to
the labor o! 500,000,000 men.
FOR STRAINS AND SPRAINS.
NEW AND STRONG CASES.
. A Surprise. Sortoa, Zlasi., Job It. ItSI.
X wii& to lnfora r ei wbat I eoatidcr meit wos.
- dcrfol. YMterday I apralncd my anal on a enrfc
atoa and at Bight could only stop on mjr foot with
groatest pain; fot a bottU of St. Jacoba Oil and
appUcd It fraoly; to-day I ara about my bualaoaa
. aa asaal without felin( any IneoiiTtnlenca.
. r. A. GATLOU).
Strained Ankle. Clcreland. 0., Jon 35,- ISIS.
Was la bed with atrainad anal; aad can;
omplataly cared by Bt. Jacobi 0U. Ho return ot
At Druggists and Dealers.
THE CHARLES A. VOGELER CO.. Baltimore, UL
JOSEPH H. HUNTER,
ttLIWilUi
Or asiv .far
evertlee lYraa tlase to tlsae la a.
wmi4 tVesa ItoaUre. wtU t eoa to aoy
tala -. that
factory
i. ! rloo. tar rsaaislcstwasa
The Term Applied.
Tramp (to pedestrian) "Would yon
be kind enough to give me 15 cents? I,
want to buy a clean collar and have my
boots blacked." Pedestrian "What tV
your profession?" "I'm on the rail
road." "Brakeman?" "WeU'er-kind
of a brakeman; : I'm nearly always
broke." Pack. . :
Can the sale ot an inferior article con
stantly increase for 24 yeiire? Dobbin
Electric Soap has been on Unnrket ever
since 1865, and is to-day aa eve the bent
and purest family soap 0B ad Try it.
Your grocer will get it.
BxPoelmaster-Ceneral flatten.
Ex-Postmaster-General Hatton i a
familiar figure on the streets of Wash
ington to-day, and he is a remarkably
successful newspaper man at present.
His high official position brouslit him
wide acquaintance with public men, and
his well-known reliability in hia inrer
donrse with men of all secss and croedf .
mako him the best real news-getter of
the Washington Post. He can go into
the rooms and offices of prominent men,
and in private conversation learn from
them many facts concerning current
eventswhich they would not communi
cate to the average newspaper reporter,
because they would fear that the infor
mation given out might not be proiwrly
handled and prudently given to the pub
lic. But they all trust and like Frank
Hatton, and by reason of these facts ha
is doing a remarkable business in
Washington in the newspaper field.
A Piece of Her IHIitd.
A lady correspondent has this to say:
tT nvan tsx nl if a a . I An -v 9 w - - v
certain class who object to eai'ertisinr.
when it costs them anything this won't
cost them a cent. I suffered a living death
for nearly two years with headaches, back
ache, in pain standing or walking, was be
ing literally dragged out of existence, my
misery increased by drugging. At last, in
despair, I committed the sin ot trying an
advertised medicine. Dr. Pierce a 1 avonte
Prescription, and it restored me to the
blessedness ot sound health. I honor the
physician who, when ho knows he can cure,
has the moral courage to advertise the
fact." The medicine mentions 1 U guaran
teed to cure tliosedclic?tediaeasAs peculiar
to fu males. Read printed guarantee on
bottle-wrapper.
For all derangements of the liver, stom
ach and bowels, take Dr. Pierce's Pellet.
One a dose.'
Great
men.
Britain fisheries emploj 250,000
For two two-cent stamps we will send
you one ot the handsomest almanac-t in
the country. "Homestead," Omaha, Neb.
It is estimated that Americans will spend
$10,000,000 in Europe this season.
In the south there are 10,000 colored
school teachers.
Joy to the World)
PERRY DAVIS' PAIN KILLER
for the entire eradication of all Pain,
EXTERNAL or INTERNAL
No fatuity should be without it. One
twenty-five cent bottle will do mor, to
convince you of the eflicacy than all
the testimonials we might present, and
we have an abundance of this kind of
evidence.
ITS ACTION IS LIKE MAGIC.
lor Coughs, Colds and Sore Throat,
a teaspoonful of rain-KHle.r taken at the
beginning ot an attack will prove an al
most never-failing cure, and save much
SUFFERING MP MONEY.
PAIN-KILLER
is an article that has combined in itall
that ?oes to make a first-class family
medi ine.
Bti AARE OF IMITATIONS.
AU Druggists sell Tain-JUlIer a?
25c, 50c, and $1.00 a bottle.
SieKCatEADAGIS
CARTERS
loUirelytured tit
these Utile PilU.
Tboy also roliere IX
OlTTLE
treaa from Dj-jpla.Ia
(Ugeatlon aud ToolIart;
uttni. A nerfnet rem
IVER
PILLS.
r
edy tor Pizzinma.Nanaen
DrowslnenH. Had Taut-
tit the Mouth. Coated
Tongue, Pain in the Hhla
TO It WD LIVER. The;
regulate the Vowels
Purely Vegetable.
Price 25 Cent;
CASTES HEDICHTE CO., NEW YOiLS.
Small Pill. Small Dose, Small Price.
WELL DRILLS,
FOR ALL PURPOSES.
Hare made 2 ft. a minute witli th
AUSTIN
4 TRIUMPH.
Send 20c for mailing
Catalogue.
F. C. Austin Mfg. Co.
COR. CARPENTER ST. AND CARROLL AVC
CHICAGO. ILLINOIS.
OTHERS' FRIEjg
imosCDILD DIRTIlusr
IP USED BEFORS CONFINEMENT.
Book to "Mothers"' MAiLinnFRrt.
BKA1F1LI REUI LATOIt CO., ATLANTA JO A
Sold bt aixtmiuooists-
EOPS 5T
TUIiATED VHKIZ
Posltltely Cured with VeeeUM Ktmedl.
Hare cured many thousand casca. Cure patlfn'
pronounced hopeieaa by tbo bent physicians. Krom
Am done symptoms rapidly disappear, and In tea
oayt at least two-thirds of all syruptoma are remov
ed, bend for free book of testimonials of miraculotia
cures, len daya treatment rurnished free by mail.
It yon order trial, aend 10 wnta In stamps to pay
Potg. PJ-.": U.UR1,N SOWS. Atlanta. Ue-
1C O0A eOCfl OO AMONTJIcitnuetuaia
f I Os-lw ls""worklnjj rr us. Asmit.
Iireferred who can furnish a litie anil kit their wtio;
hue to the busings. Spr uiomuuU may l ptxiitaldy
einjilovrd ln. A tew v.-cn ie in town n i J vitlea.
U. ('. JOHNSON ft IY low Main St.. Uk'hiuund. Vs.
N. M. 1'leane state n-s and buni rxptTt'-'iro. Sev
er mind about sending stamp It r repb'. U. K J. & Co,
PENSION
JOI1 N W.TOOII It IS.
Ijte Principal .xamiti
U.M. I'euaion bureau, Alt y
at Law, Waahinztou,
II. i;.. Ha--fniullv Prnaecmea t:iaiin
original, lncreaae, re-ratlng. widows", children !
dependent relallvea. Experience? 8 yra. In laas
war. 13 yri. In Pension Bureau and attorney since.
DETECTIVES
Wanted In crery connty. fchrewd men to act under
Instruction In our Secret bervlue. Kxpri'iic not
necesary. bend 2c. atamn. irann:tii Detective)
ltureuu Co.. 44 Arcade, Cincinnati. O.
find Plso'e Cure for
Consumption THE
t BEST remedy for
boareenesK aud to
clear tho throat.
day. Samples worth S. 1.1 KUnE.
Te Lines u
VUsterSai
Safety Rein Holder Co..Hollv. Mien.
uot under horses' leeu VVrita H-w.
Lincoln N. U.
Attobrv. Vsshlnrtnn.
P C. WILL OKT YOllll
PENSION wlHiout eelay
suMroaa tfireet Area
u.
Mas u rtoo are ssutasiss. bosiosa.
4
5a
& 4 m tVrVtjCs
-HHM-r--r--rT-
