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About Will Maupin's weekly. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1911-1912 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 30, 1912)
Will Maupin's Weekly EDITED AND PUBLISHER BY HIMSELF ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR Editorial Rooms, 436 Bankers Life Bldg. Auto Phone B2994 Publication Rooms, 126-132 North 14th Street Entered at the postofflca at Lincoln, Nebraska, as second-class mall matter, under the Act of Kress of Xarefc t, 1ST. OUR NINTH ANNUAL EDITION. This is the ninth annual edition of this newspaper, and we hope we may be pardoned for a few personal words in relation thereto, Will Maupin's Weekly is conducted for just two purposes to profit its editor and to boost for Nebraska and those Nebraskans who are striving to accomplish things worth while. It will not knowingly boost a bad man or a bad cause, nor will it refuse to boost any good man or good cause. It looks upon the bright side of life, leaving nthnrn to noke around looking- for the evil and the dark. It has an unbounded faith in a glorious future for Nebraska, agriculturally, commercially and industrially. It is seeking constantly to learn the best about Nebraska and tell it to all the people. It would rather work diligently for a month to find something good to say about Nebraska than to have someone bring it information derogatory of this good state. It knows that Nebraska is the greatest agricultural wealth producer per capita among the states, that Nebraska offers iv. t a. 2 J . nil 4 Via Dtstas tn li nmaaanlrara anri invMtnn and that Nebraska soil and climate cannot be beaten by any similar area of territory under the canopy of heaven. And knowing these things it seeks only to prove it to all the world. There is always room in its columns for a boost for Nebraska and Nebraskans, but never a line for the "knocker" or the "kicker. We want you to help us to boost. We want you to help us spread information concerning Nebraska. We want you to help us tell the truth about Nebraska, and tell it to all the world. We ui neurwu u uv usvu - e to put Nebraska even with her sisters. The trouble is that when we tell the bare truth about this glorious state people immediately class us with Munchausen, Mulhatton and Ananias. We've got to give it to them by degrees. Tell a resident of that provincial strip of the United States lying east of the Alleghany mountains that in 1911 Nebraska produced $400,000,000 of agricultural wealth, $200,000,000 -of livestock wealth and $200,000,000 of wealth in the shape of manufactured goods, and he, remembering only that this used to be designated as "The Great American Desert" upon the school maps of his boyhood days, win wins ms eye, xap ma "re- head significantly, and think, if not say, "You are an awiui liar. But it's God's truth, and that truth Will Maupin's Weekly is trying to impress, first upon Nebraskans themselves and then upon the rest of the world. We are just a bit proud of this annual edition, and proud of - the enterprising business institutions that helped to make it pos sible. It is, however, only an earnest of what we expect to do in the future in the way of boosting Nebraska, provided Nebraskans will help. We want you to help boost Nebraska. You can do it by help' ing to circulate Will Maupin's'. Weekly, by patronizing the busi ness institutions that evidence tneir enterprise oy patronizing wis booster organ, and by always talking about Nebraska. We are learning more about Nebraska every day. Maybe, if we live a hundred years we will have learned a small part of what there is to learn about the wonderful resources and possibilities of ' this mreat commonwealth. But as we learn more we tell more and we want more readers to tell it to. A dollar a year, in advance. And if you are not satisfied your money will be refunded. WILL M. MAUPIN, EDITOR. In this good year of 1912 Nebraska's total production of wealth, agricultural, horticultural, live stock, dairy and manufactured, will exceed the enormous total of $700,000,000. We challenge any other . -T , 1 111. J 1 ' AnnUn Biate to equal ieurasiia. wcuiu jjmuutuuu yL .ayi.a. Once more : The counties of Richardson, Nemaha, Cass, Otoe and Johnson raise more apples every year that the entire state of Colo rado. The state of Nebraska raises more apples than Oregon, "Wash ington, Idaho and Colorado combined. By the time the bells announce the arrival of 1913, Nebraska hens will have made a yearly record of 240,000,000 dozen eggs, worth not a cent less than $35,000,000. Now let Nebraska emulate the hen and advertise her products. Here's something to think about. Nebraska is 45 years old. No other state has made a record of development in 45 years that will come anywhere near equalling the record made by Nebraska. Nebraska stands first among the states in the production of agricultural wealth per capita. She ought to be advertising her resources in a manner worthy of her. In less than fifteen years Nebraska has reached second place among the winter wheat producing states. Her wheat crop this year will exceed 50,000,000 bushels. "We have so much to say this week of Nebraska and her won derful productivity that we have no time or space to fool away on politics. For governor next time, Hugh Jones, manager of the Antelopes ; for lieutenant governor at the same time, "Pa" Rourke of the Oma-hans. The Nebraska dollars spent with Nebraska manufacturers do double duty. Keep Nebraska dollars at home. Mark this prediction: Before 1920 South Omaha will be the largest live stock market in America. Keep Nebraska's crop money in Nebraska to build up Nebraska business institutions. This ought to be Nebraska's greatest year. Nature has been more han kind. A BIT OF PLEASANTRY ALONG THE JOURNEY BY WILL M, MAUPIN JUST LIKE HEAVEN. The preacher in the pulpit stood and talked of harps and strings, Of golden streets, and jasper walls, and crowns and other things. And eloquent he waxed about the angel chorus strong That wings its way about the throne in sweet melodious song; Where congregations ne'er break up and Sabbaths never cease, And all about its perfect joy, and love and rest and peace. Till all were carried to the skies on flowery beds of ease. He drew a picture of the place in words he knew would please. He had his hearers all wrought up about that golden clime Until it seemed they could not wait the meet and proper time To don their white ascension robes and .swiftly fly away To Jordan's fair and happy land where shines eternal day. "Let all," the pastor loudly cried, "who want to join our band And go to that celestial home now rise and proudly stand!" Then came a mighty rustling noise, and all rose to their feet Save one lone stranger who sat tight and never left his seat. "My brother, I cannot believe," the pastor cried, "that you Prefer to join that other throng we know as Satan's crew And journey on that downward path that surely leads to hell!" "Well I guess not!" the stranger cried his voice rang like a bell. "Then why," the pastor asked of him, "did you not stand to show That you with us to that fair land would love to quickly go?" "Because I'm pretty well content," the stranger said with glee, To stay right here Nebraska is good enough for me!" Shout, "O you farmer," at a man now and he will hliiKhinclv L . ' O-af Lbow in acknowledgement of the compliment. It is an intimation that he drives a six-cylinder motor, milks a herd of cows with pedi grees as long as the moral law, wears silk underwear and carries a bankbook showing a balance running into five figures. To Be Sure and of Course. . ' ; . Hand in hand they wandered through the garden, while the setting sun was painting beautiful tints upon the western sky. 'I love the very ground you walk on," he whispered into her shell-like ear, pressing her hand fondly as he whispered. "Sure thing," replied the wise Nebraska maiden. "You know this is papa's farm, and that I am his only child." The Evidence Seemed Conclusive. "They say your husband has been exhibiting evidences of in sanity?" "Yes, judge; he has been talkin' crazier than a bedbug for the last six months." "What's he been talking about?" "Well, all th' time he has been talkin' o' sellin' our Nebraska farm for $125 an acre an' goin' up into th' northwest country an' payin' $400 an acre f 'r land." Without "pausing to confer with other members of the lunatico inquirendo the judge made out the commitment papers. ' "It's a plain case, either of mental delusion or of mental inca pacity, ".remarked the judge. Whereupon his colleagues nodded affirmation. Did Not Impress Him Greatly. There was a burst of sarcastic laughter and St. Peter turned his head with a frown. "WTiat's that noise over there?" queried the aged keeper of the keys. "Oh, that's the fellow who landed here from Nebraska a day or two ago," replied the Recording Angel, loosing up irom ms records. "What's the matter with him?" "I suppose they have just finished showing him around and telling him what a splendid place this is. Those Nebraskans al ways laugh that way after we've made our claims." The Retort Courteous., 1 After having been shown all over Omaha by his friend, the vitor from the City of Brotherly Love remarked : "But your streets, your city plan it seems so .crude, so nap- hazard, you know. You ought to visit our city and see how beauti fully it is laid out." , . "Oh, that's all right," replied the Omahan. "If ever Omaha is as dead as Philadelphia I guarantee it will be laid out just , as beautifully.' , She Knew a Thing or Two or Three or Four. A mighty pretty little miss who lived in Broken Bow Was courted by a gallant youth who came from Kokomo. She listened to his pleading strong with mighty willing ear, And blushed a pretty rosy red whenever he'd appear. 'Twill be a match!" the gossips cried; but they were far from right, For much to their astonishment the youth sank out of sight. 'Why was it thus?" they asked the miss. "He asked of me," she said, ; 'r ! ' 'To live in Indiana, but I'd rather, far, be dead. The Hoosier boys may be all right, and so may Kokomo, But I'll wed some Nebraskan, and live in Broken Bow." Would Go Part Way, Anyhow. A Lincoln mother, whose little boy, has, like most small boys do picked up some words and phrases that were not exactly fit for public quotation, bethought herself of a "fitting punishment. Every time she heard the lad utter a naughty word she led him into the kitchen and vigorously washed out his mouth with a toothbrush well daubed with soap. A few days aero little Johnnie rushed into th hmiao TwiHnri i-ntn. the kitchen, grabbed the toothbrush and soap and soon had a mouth- iui ot latner. "Why, Johnnie!" exclaimed the astonished mother. "What on earth is the matter. Johnnie spat out a chunk of lather, rinsed out his mouth and re plied: "I'll tell you, mamma. That little Jones boy that just moved into that house across the street said that Cincinnati, the town" he came from, was a nicer place than Lincoln, and I told him Tie was a liar. I'm washing it out, but I'll be durned if IH take it back." We'll Not Vouch for This. t They say that every time it rains in the southern tier of Ne braska counties all the farmers in the northern tier of Kansas coun ties put "on their biggest shoes and hasten across the state line to wade in the Nebraska mud. Perhaps you wonder why they do this. The explanation is, first, they want to carry back to their own farms some rich Nebraska soil; secondly, they want to see and feel the moist earth once in a while. Easy Transaction. "Did you have to mortgage your farm to get the money ?" "Nary a mortgage." "How did you manage it?" ' "Just filled a cigar box full of soil from that alfalfa field and deposited it as collateral." . , Vocal Efforts. I cannot sing the old songs ; The words I've clear forgot Perhaps 'tis just as well I have For most of them were "rot." But this you may depend on Where'er my feet may roam, I'll sing about Nebraska Till the cows come home. Realizes What She Missed. Four thousand years after banishment from Eden (Upshur's chronology) Eve's shade secured a vacation and hastened back to earth. It chanced that she happened along a beautiful country road in southeastern Nebraska, and pausing to rest, her eyes fell upon a tree whose branches bent to earth with their load of lucious rosy-cheeked apples. "Well I stood the punishment for it once, so I guess I'll chance it again," she murmured. So saying she crawled through the fence and was soon con tentedly munching the fruit. "Well, all I got to say," she chortled, as she threw away the core, "is that if that first one I ate had been anything like this I guess I wouldn't have put in so many years at vain regretting." 5 0 Then and Now. - ,A few years ago to shout, "O, you farmer," was to hurl an insult and was quite likely to precipitate a riot. But times have changed wonderfully, don't you know. New Home of The Lincoln Business College 13th and P Streets, Lincoln, Nebr. Three stories to be erected now. ' ' This school has been serving the business men and youngt people : of the country for 28 years. The people have faith in us because -they have always found us giving first-class service at reasonable rates. . . , r - ( A Free Employment Bureau is mantained for the placing of all students desiring positions. Many students from other schools come here for us to secure them positions. Tou simply cannot afford not to investigate - the many advan tages of attending a school that has been established so long. A business education in our school is the key to the situation. ' ' ' ' - ' ' ' :. -: ' ; ; , .-. ..N Fall term open Sept. 2. Catalogs free. . E. C. BIGGER, President N. W. WAT30N, Viee-Pres. W. A. BOBBINS, Secretary. ' Bell Phone 71 Phone Auto B-1771 ' ' 325 So. 11th St Lincoln, Nebr.