Will Maupin's weekly. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1911-1912, January 05, 1912, Image 2

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    TH A T'S THl?.""TJr.lCF.T ll
PICKED UP IN PASSING
Dr. Farnham loves his joke, but be
neath most of his jocular remarks is
a sub-strata of hard common sense.
Oue of the best things Dr. Farnham
has perpetrated lately was his com
ment upou the LaFollette conference
in Chicago.
"I see that Judge England and
Charley Whedou and Frank Harrison
all attended that conference,'' said
Dr. Farnham. "I also note that Harri
son went on a couple of days "ahead
of the other two, and that while Whe
dno went over the Burlington, England
went over the Rock Island. This wss
not without purpose. The three of
Ym didnt dare go together for fear
they'd fall out aud have a scrap be
fore they got there."
""Those cold weather stories told by
CVl. F, M. Woods and Mh. TrihotF are
pretty good ones- but 1 can beat W
both," said S. II. Burnham Wednes
day. "Col. Wood and Mr. Trilhotf spoke
about IS degrees below zero, but you
must remember that was in the winter.
Eight years ago last August I was in
New York City and went to Madison
Square Carden to hear Patti. Jt was
the hottest day I ever experienced, and
many people succumbed to the heat
in the big audience before Fatti made
her appearance. When she appeared
she received an ovation. She sang a
couple f songs and was wildly en
cored. She came out and bowed again
and again, but the great crowd insist
ed on an encore. Finally the famous
dive- reappeared and sang that beauti
ful old soug, "When the cold, chilly
winds of November,"' and she sang it
with such telling effect that he llud
sno river froze over eighteen inches
thick as far north as Albany.''
The failure of "Success"' is giving
the paragraphersr an opportunity, all
right. "Success'" was a monthly .mag
aaine founded and edited by Dr. O. S,
Marden. How many people in Ne
braska know that Dr. Marden formerly
lived in Nebraska! He was one of
the original boomers at Kearney and
was landlord of - the famous Midway
hotel that burned down in the late fall
of. He is a genius without a
balance wheel. " Success" was a hand
some magazine, and in some respects
was one of the best in the country.
Doubtless Dr Marden edited it with
high ideals, but on more than one oc
casion we' have declared that if we
were tb father of a boy and desired
that boy to grow up to b a "sissy"
and "saphead,! w would make sure
that his only literary ,pabulum was
"Success."
"Thia discussion about the 'high cost
of. living, " remarked Dr. P. L. Hall
the other day, "reminds me of a thing
or two. It is costing me a whole lot
more to live the days than it did
when I was first married, but that is
because I live differently now, al
though not more happily. I was a
young physician . without a practice
worth mentioning when I was married.
My wife and I went to housekeeping,
and my office, was, at my residence..
Our house consisted of one room,
which was a big one, to be sure, . I
didn't have money enough to have it
partitioned off by a carpenter- so wife
and I partitioned it off ourselves
with a piece of chalk. We just drew
a 'chalk line where a partition ought
to be, leaving an unmarked place for
each door. Then we took good care
never to walk through a partition, but
always to pass from one room to an
other through a door. Itwas some
discomfort, but it was more than com
penUi by the fun we had trying to
ep from stepping over those chalk
lines.
We have real partitions in "our
house now, and many other things we
didn't have in those early days. Hut,
as a matter of fact, ! think "we enjoyed
life fully as much then as we do now.
The luxuries of those days are the
necessary things today or we think
they are and that may explain why
we are complaining about the 'high
cix-t of living.
Pratt one day this week," is to hear
a man who thinks nothing of wiping
the beer foam from his lips with a
bar towel that 700 other men have
used, kicking like a bay steer over
the impurities in the water from the
Rice welL
"Just the other day a friend of
mine stopped me on the street and
hollered about the impurities in the
Rice well water, and while he was
making his holler he pulled out his
plug of tobacco to take a chew. Just
as he was inserting the plug between
his teeth he dropped it. We were
standing on the edge of a downtown
crossing, and that plug fell in the
filth that usually accumulates on or
near a busy crossing. But my
friend, without pausing in his com
plaints, stooped over, picked up the
ping, swiped it across his eoatsleeve
and then took a generous chew.
"Somehow or other I couldn't take
much interest in his complaints about
"impurities' after that.. It would take
more impurities than ever have been
discovered in Rice well water to injure
a man like that.'
What tickles me,' observed Tom
"If I had a bit of Carnegie's
money. observed Fred Cornell the
other day, between real estate transac
tions. "I'd put into operation a
scheme for the benefit of humanity
that would make Andy's library stunt
look like three lead dimes. And at
the same time that I was doing hu
manity a service I'd be making more
millions for myself.
"What's my idea? Why, I'd buy
up six or ten square miles of good,
fertile Nebraska land that is now
idle, cut it up into SO-aere tracts and
put on each alternate tract a family
taken out of the congested districts of
our big cifies I'd provide each one
with a comfortable cottage, outbuild
ings and farm tools, together with a
team, a cow or two. and a few hogs.
I'd stake them until. they got started,
weeding out the incompetents as time
progressed. I wouldn't give them the
land, but would sell it to them on
mighty easy terms, waiting until they
could make the land pay for itself.
Every tract thus improved would
double the value of the other tracts,
and that's where I'd double my money
and at the same time be doing hu
manity a great service.
"The whole trouble with onr social
system is that the men who have got
sense enough to pull off a stunt like
that haven't got money enough; and
the fellows who have got money
enough to dj it haven't got sense
enough. Th's is a badly balanced old
world."
I
"People who imagine that the
plumber's harvest is in winter have
another guess coming." said Ed Fry,
the well known plumber last Monday.
Any plumber - will tell you that he
would far rather keep busy on new
work than to keep busy on frozen
pipes and burst waterbacks and that
sort of thing.
."We plumbers have grown accus
tomed to jibes about the size of our
bills, and all that sort of thing, but,
just the same, I don't know of any
millionaires among Lincoln plumbers;
.and if any of the complainants think
we are not earning our money I wish
they would work a few weeks in the
surroundings and under the condi
tions that the average journeyman
plumber has to labor in and under."
The theatrical firm of Cohan &
Harris is peculiar, in that Cohan, who
has a Jewish name, is an Irishman,
and Harris who has an Irish name,
is. a Jew. . They married sisters, who
are" Jewesses. Cohan is the proud
father of four or five lusty kiddies,
but Harris is childless. Every once
in a while Harris forgets and asks
Cohan :
"How are the children?"
Fine; how's the canary?" replies
Cohan.
"You go to the devil." growls Har
ris, who proceeds to carry an allAlay
crouch.
The same ticket or price tag that was on the garment from the
beginning. Not a figure has been changed. Now you do the figur
ing. Just select the suit or overcoat you want, look at the price tag,
deduct one-fourth from the price marked and hand us the balance.
25 Discount on all Suits & 0 coats
This is a square, fair One-fourth Off Sale. We make no -preservations"' every Suit and Over
coat in the house goes in this sale. Know what it means when we say "25 per cent discount?" It
means a great deal. It means one-fourth off from . former prices that were already as low in many in
stances as others' "bargain prices." Our discount prices are really your golden opportunity.
JUST AS WE ADVERTISE
A bona fide one-fourth off sale. Not a ticket or a figure changed. You figure the discount for
yourselves. All our famous Bradford and Clothcraft Guaranteed, All Wool Clothes included in this sale.
$10.00
12.85
15.00
18.00
20.00
22.50
25.00
SUITS AND OVERCOATS
25 per cent off our already Low Prices. Note the Savings.
Suits and
Suits and
Suits and
Suits and
Suits and
Suits and
Suits and
Overcoats
Overcoats
Overcoats
Overcoats
Overcoats
Overcoats
Overcoats
- 0
$ 7.50
9.63
11.25
13.50
15.00
16.88
18.75
Good, Dependable, Honest Clothes. Good because they are the best clothes made. Dependable
because we guarantee them. Honest because we have bui! our business on them and they "Have
Made Good."
ON
THE
CORNER
SPEIER & SIMON
WE SAVE YOU m6nEY
ON
THE
SQUARE
MEN AND MATTERS
(Continued from Page 1)
was hooted at by the proponents of
the measure. But that is just what
has happened. Indeed, the only con
victions under the anti-trust act have
been against labor unions and labor
leaders. It has now come to pass
that if men strike against injustice
they are haled into court and prose
cuted under the anti-trust law. And
the strikers do not have any oppor
tunity to secure delay, either, not
being millionaires with tremendous
financial and corporate backing. It
has taken nine years to bring the
beef packers to book. It took but
three days to book the leaders of the
strike on the Illinois Central Kail
road. Yet there are those who won
der why there is a growing suspicion
that the courts are being used by the
rich and powerful few against the
poor and helpless many.
Hall member of the. democratic na
tional committee. Dr. Ilall is now
vice chairman of the committee, and is
perhaps better known in national dem
ocratic circles than any other Nebras
ka democrat barring Mr jBryan. A
wise and safe counsellor is DV. Hall,
and he has so often made his' militant
democracy manifest that It strikes
us as a bit unwise for Nebraska demo
crats to even think for a minute of
not availing themselves of his serv
ices if he intimates that he, will again
serve them.
It is stated that Senator Fred Volp
of Dodge county is thinking of enter
ing the lists as a candidate for the
democratic gubernatorial nomination.
Senator Tolp is a successful business
man and those who know him know
that he is well qualified to fill any
office within the gift of the people of
this state. But this is not the time for
Senator Volp to be a candidate for
governor if the democrats hope to
win in this year's election. We still
hold that John Morehead of Richard
son is the logical candidate for the
democrats to nominate, not that we be
lieve Mr. Morehead to be better than
any other man, but he is as good as the
best of them, and conditions are such
as to make his candidacy the strongest
the democrats could possibly offer.
Nebraska democrats should realize,
once and for all, that the man who
beats Chester IL Aldrieh for governor
this trip will have to go almighty fast,
and keep going all the time.
We would as soon think of the re
publicans failing to re-nominate Gov
ernor Aldrieh as to think of Nebraska
democrats failing to re-elect Dr. P. L.
It is charged that Congressman Dan
Stephens voted to retain the "mileage
graft." We haven't seen any official
vote upon that question, therefore we
are not informed as to the facts! But
if Dan Stephens voted on that question
and didn't vote to knock A out ' that
graft, we are going to pour some burn
ing words into his ears the firstj. time
we get a chance. As between "porch
climbing" or "second story jWork'.' and
holding on to that "mileage graft" we
are inclined to give preference to. the
former. . , .
Admitting our ignorance of the in
surance laws, we take occasion to
make a few remarks concerning, the
prestint flare-up over the sale of " the
Union Fire Insurance Co. td the Wood
men Insurance Co. Three or' Jfour
men, among them Ed Marshall' Being
most prominent, built that company up.
They gave the best years of their life
to the work. The time came when
they could realize something for their
work without in any degree jeopardiz
ing the interests of the policy holders.
They took advantage of the oppor
tunity. And well be hanged if we
can see where they eommitted any
wrong or worked injustice to anyone.
The policy holders in the consolidated
company are assured of just" as good
protection as ever- and thdrmen re
sponsible for building uptTa strong
insurance company in Nebraska? re
ceived something more than: living
salaries for their efforts. What's.- the
harm ? And who has been, wroaged !
..n I
The easiest thing in the world is to
stand oS and throw- dornieks at tEe
men who do things. Doubtless 95 per
cent of the 'shacks" and "eagle eyes"
and "hogheads" on the Burlington
could give the general manager of
that system points on managing the
system. We are moved to this re
mark by the efforts of one 3Ir. Son
dean of somewhere or other to east
reflections upon the work of Head
Consul Talbot of the Modern Wood
men. Under Mr. Talbot's administra
tion the Modern Woodmen organiza
tion has enjoyed phenomenal prosper
ity. While others have been criticiz
ing Mr. Talbot has been doing things
worth while. But of course men who
do things worth while must expect to
be made targets of by those who,
lacking ability to accomplish big
things, content themselves with throw
ing rocks or worse.
Will some sage or philosopher pi
tell lis why, under our boasted civili
zation and learning, we should have
these constantly recurring periods of
"hard times?" There is just as much
money in the country today as there
was three or four years ago There is
just as much demand and need for
houses, and clothing and food as ever
before, or more. Why, then, sho
money be "tight," and the country
full of idle men f Until we have solved
this social problem wouldn't it be well
to quit throwing frenzied fits over
"tariffs" and "currency reforms" and
such things!
Nobody worth while would deny to
deserving veterans pensions big enough
to insure them comfort. Indeed, we
would be more than glad to grant
pensions liberal enough to guarantee
every deserving veteran more than
mere comforts we would have them
enjoy luxuries. But this thing of
granting pensions indiscriminately is
wrong in theory and wrong in prac
tice. We remember when a pension
was granted to General John C. Black
for "total disability." That meant
that General Black was wholly dis-