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About Will Maupin's weekly. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1911-1912 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 22, 1911)
i HERE are no more Christ mas stories to write. Fic tion is exhausted; and xl'Jv newspaper Hems. un wu. 1 .W .W- . yM best, are maauEacturea ny Who have married early and hare an engagingly pessimistic view of life. Therefore, tor seasonable diversion, are reduced to two very question able sources facts and philosophy. Ws ill begin with whichever you choose to call It Children are pestilential little ani mals with watch we have to cope un der a bewildering variety of condi tions. Especially when childish sor rows overwhelm them are we put to ear wit's end. We exhaust our paltry store of consolation; and then beat them, sobbing, to sleep. Then we grovel ia the dust of a million years, and ask God why. Thus we call out of the rat-trap. As for the children, ao one understands them except old maids, hunchbacks, and shepherd does. Now come the facts in the case of the Rag-Doll, the Tatterdemalion, and the Tweaty-tifth of December. On the tenth of that month the Child of the Millionaire lost her rag doll. There were many servants in the Millionaire's rssc on the Hud son, and these ransacked the house and grouatls. but without finding the hast treasure. The Child was a girl f fiire. and one cf those perverse lit tle beasts that often wound the sensi bilities of wealthy parents by fixing their aCLevtkcs upon some vulgar, in expensive toy instead of upon diamond-studded automobiles and pony phaetons. The Child grieved sorely and truly, a thing inexplicable to the Million aire, to whom the rag-doll market was about as interesting as Bay State Gas; and to the Lady, the Child's mother, wfeot was alt for form that is. nearly as. as you shall sec The Child cried inconsolably. and. grew hollow-eyed, knock-kneed, spin dling, and rorykilverty In many other respects. The Million aire smiled and tapped his coffers confidently.. The pick of the output of the French audi German toytnakers was rushed by spe cial delivery to the mansion, but Ra chel refused to be comforted. She was weeping ror her rag child, and was for a high protective tariff against all foreign foolishness. Then, doctors with the finest bedside man ners and stop-watches were called in. One by one they chattered futilely about peptomacg&sate of iron and da vcyxc.s anl favpophosphites until their stop-watches showed that Bill Rendered was under the wire for show ec place. Then, as men. they advised, that the rag-doll be found as soon as aosslble and restored to its mourning, parent. The Child sniffed at thera-! awtics. chewed thumb, and waited' The Child Grieved Sorely and Truly. for her Betsy. And "all this time ca blegrams were coming from Santa Oats saying that he would soon be here and enjoining us to show a true. Christian spirit and let up on the poolrooms and tontine policies and. platoon systems long enough to give him a welcome. Everywhere the spir it of Christmas was diffusing itself. The banks were refusing loans, the pawnbrokers had doubled their gang of helpers, people bumped your shins on tie streets with red sleds. Thomas and Jeremiah bubbled before you on the bars while you waited on one foot, holly-wreaths of hospitality were hung In windows of the stores, they who had 'era were getting out their furs. Ton hardly knew which was the best- bet In balls three, high. moth, or snow. It w as no time at which to lose Ute rag-doll of your heart. If Doctor Watson' investigating !rienl had been called in to solve this Bystertoa disappearance he might .hare observed on the Millionaire' wa a copy of The Vampire. That would have quickly suggested, by In duction. "A rag and a bone and a hank of hair." "Flip." a Scotch ter rier, next to the rag-doll in the child's heart, frisked through the halls. The hank of hair! Aha! X. the unfound quantity, represented the rag-doll. .But. the bone? Well, when dogs find. .bones they Done! It were an .easy and a fruitful task to examine Flip's fore feet. Look. Watson! Earth . dried earth between the toes. Of (course the dog but Sherlock was not there. Therefore it devolves. But topography and architecture must in tervene. The Millionaire's palace occupied a lordly space. In front of it was a lawn close-mowed as a South Ireland man's face two days after a shave. At one side of it and fronting on an- He Sat Betsy on the Bar and Ad dressed Her Loudly and Humor ously. other street was a pleasaunce trim med to a leaf, and the garage and stables. The Scotch pup had ravished, the rag-doll from the nursery, drag ged it to a comer of the lawn, dug a fccle. and buried it after the manner of careless undertakers. There you. nave the mystery solved, and no checks to write for the hypodermical wizard or fl pun notes to toss to the sergeant. Then let's get down to the' heart of the thing, tiresome readers the Christmas heart of the thing. Pozzy was drunk. Not riotously or helplessly or loquaciously, as you or I might ge, but decently, appropriate-? ly. and inoffensively, as becomes a; gentleman down on his luck. Fuzzy was a soldier of misfortune.; The road, the haystack, the park, bench, the kitchen door, the bitter round of eleemosynary beds-with--shower-bath-attachment. the petty, pickings and ignobly garnered larg-j esse of great citites these formed. Ice chapters of his history. Fuzzy walked toward the river, dewn the street that bounded one! suie rf the Millionaire's house and; grounds. He saw a leg of Betsy, the. lost rag-doll, protruding, like the clue to a Liliputian murder mystery, from! its untimely grave in a corner of the! fence. He dragged forth the maltreat ed infant, tucked It under his arm. and went on his way crooning a scng of ris brethren that no doll that has' been brought up to the sheltered life should hear. Well for Betsy that she had no ears. And well that she had co eyes save unseeing circles of black: for the faces of Fuzzy and the Scotch terrier were those of brothers, and the heart of no rag-doll could withstand twice to become the prey of such fearsome monsters. Though you may not know. it. Gro gan's saloon stands near the river and near the foot of the street down which Fuzzy traveled. In Grogan's, Christmas cheer was already rampant. Fuzzy entered with his dolL He fan cied that as a mummer at the feast of Saturn he might earn a few drops Iroa the wassail cup. He set Betsy on the bar and ad dressed her loudly and humorously, seasoning his speech with exaggerat ed compliments and endearments, as one entertaining his lady friend. The loafers and bibbers around caught the farce of it, and roared. The barten der gave Fuzzy a drink. Oh, many or us carry rag-dolls. "One for the lady?" suggested Fuz zy Impudently, and tucked another contribution to Art beneath his waist coat. He began to see possibilities in Betsy. His first-night had been a suc cess. Visions of a vaudeville circuit about town dawned upon him. In a group near the stove sat "Pig eon' McCarthy, Black Riley, and "One-ear" Mike, well and unfavorably known In the tough shoestring district that blackened the left bank of the river. They passed a newspaper back and forth among themselves. The item that each solid and blunt for eigner pointed out was an advertise ment headed "One Hundred Dollars Reward." To earn It. one must re turn the rag-doll lost, strayed, or stolen from the ' Millionaire's man sion. It seemed that grief still rav aged, unchecked, in the bosom of the too faithful Child. Flip, the terrier, caperei and' shook his absurd whis kers before her, powerless to distract. She wailed for her Betsy In the faces of walking, talking. ma-ma4ng. and eye-closing French Mabelles and Vio lcttes. The advertisement was a last Riley came from behind the riove and approached Fuzzy in his one-sided, parabolic way. The Christmas mummer, flushed with success, had tucked Betsy under his arm, and was about to depart to the filling of impromptu dates else where, "Say, 'Bo." said Black Riley to him, ."where did you cop out dat doll?" "This doll?" asked Fuzzy, touching Betsy with his forefinger to be sure that she was the one referred to. ."Why, this doll was presented to me by the Emperor of Beloochistan. I have seven hundred others In my country home In Newport. This doll " "Cheese the funny business." said Riley. "You swiped it or picked It up at do house on de hill where but never mind dat. Tou want to take fifty cents for de rags, and take it quick. Me brother's kid at home .might be wantin to play wid it. Hey what?" He produced the coin. - Fuzzy laughed a gurgling; Insolent alcoholic laugh in his face. Go to the office of Sarah Bernhardt's manager: and propose to him that she be rei leased from a night's performance to entertain the Tackytown Lyceum and Literary Coterie. Ton will hear the duplicate of Fuxzy's laugh. Black Riley gauged Fuzzy quickly with his blueberry eye as a wrestler does. His hand was itching to play the Roman and wrest the rag Sabine from the extemporaneous merry -an-drew who was entertaining an angel unaware. But he refrained. Fuzzy was fat and solid and big. Three inches of well-nourished corporeity, defended from the winter winds by dingy linen, intervened between his vest and trousers. Countless small, circular wrinkles running around hiss coat-sleeves and knees guaranteed the quality of his bone and mijpBcie. His small, blue eyes, bathed i- the moisture of altruism and wooxiness. looked upon yon kindly yet without; abashment. He was whlskerly. Whis kyly. fleshily formidable. So, Black Riley temporized. "Wotll you take for it. den?" ha asked. "t ' "Money." said Fuzzy, with hnsky firmness, "cannot bry her." He was Intoxicated with the artist's first sweet cup of attainment. To set "Money," Said Fuzzy With Husky Firmness, "Cannot Buy Her." a faded-blue, earth-stained rag -doll on a bar, to hold mimic converse with it. and to find his heart leaping with the sense of plaudits earned and his throat scorching with free libations poured in his honor could base coin buy him from such achievements. Tou will perceive that Fuzzy bad the temperament. Fuzzy walked out with the gait of a trained sea-lion in search of other cafes to conquer. Though the dusk of twilight was hardly yet apparent, lights were begin ning to spangle the city like pop-corn bursting in a deep skillet. Christmas eve, impatiently expected, was peep ing over the brink of the hour. Mil lions had prepared for its celebration. Towns would be painted red. Tou. yourself, have heard the horns and dodged the capers of the Saturnalians. "Pigeon" McCarthy. Black Riley, and "One-ear" Mike held a hasty con verse outside Grogan's. They were narrow-chested, pallid striplings, not fighters In the open, but mare danger ous in their ways' of warfare than the' most terrible of Turks. Fuzzy, in a pitched battle, could have eaten the three of them. In a go-as-you-please encounter he was already doomed. They overtook him Just as he and Betsy were entering Costigan's Ca sino. They deflected him, and shoved the newspaper under his nose. Fuzzy coulj read and more. "Boys," said he, "you are certainly damn true friends. Give me a week to think it over." The soul of a real artist Is quenched with difficulty. The boys carefully pointed out to him that advertisements were soul- ' r 1 Fuzzy Entered the Millionaire's Gate and Zigzagged Toward the Softly Glowing Evidence of the Mansion. less and the deficiencies of the day nzight not be supplied by the morrow. "A cool hundred," said Fuzzy thoughtfully and mushHy. "Boys," said he. "you are true; friends. ITl go up and claim the re? ward. The show business is not what it used to be." Xlght was falling more surely. The three tagged at his sides to the foot of the rise on which stood the Mil lionaire's house. There Fuzzy turned upon them acrimoniously. "Tou are a pack of putrj-facei, beagle-hounds," he roared. "Go away." They went away a little way. In Pigeon McCarthy's pocket was a section of two-inch gas-pipe eights inches long. In one end of it and in. the middle of it was a lead plug. One half of it was packed tight with solder. Black Riley carried a slung-shot, being a conventional thug. "One-ear" Mike relied upon a pair of brass knucks an heirloom In the family. "Why fetch and carry," said Black; 'Riley, "when some one win do It for "y-? Let him bring It out to us. Hey what." - "We can chuck him in the river." said "Pigeon" McCarthy, "with a 'stone tied to his feet." Touse guys make me tired." said -One-ear" Mike sadly. "Aint prog ress ever appealed to none of yes? Sprinkle a little gasoline on Mm, and crop Im on the Drive well?" Fuzzy entered the Millionaire's gate and zigzagged toward the softly glowing entrance of the mansion. The "three goblins came up to the gate and lingered one on each side of It, one beyond the roadway. They fingered their cold metal and leather, confi dent. . Fuzzy rang the door bell, smiling foolishly and dreamily. An atavistic Instinct prompted him to reach for the button of his right glove. But he wore no gloves; so his left hand drop ped, embarrassed. '- The particular menial whose duty it was to open doors to silks and laces shied at first sight of Fuzzy. But a second glance took In his passport, his card of admission, his surety of welcome the lost rag-doll of the daughter of the house dangling under his arm. - Fuzzy was admitted Into a great hall, dim with the glow from unseen lights. The hireling went away and returned with a maid and the Child. The doll was restored to the mourn ing one, Sne clasped her lost darling to her breast; and then, with the in ordinate selfishness and candor o" childhood, stamped her foot and whined hatred and fear of the odious being who had rescued her from the depths of sorrow and despair. Fuzzy wriggled himself Into an lngratlatory attitude and essayed the Idiotic smile and blattering small talk that is sup posed to charm the budding Intellect of the young. The Child bawled, and wjts d-agged away, hugging her Betsy close. , There came the Secretary, pale, -poised.-- polished, gliding in pumps. and worshipping pomp and ceremony. He counted out into Fuzxys hand ten ten-dollar bills; the. dropped his eye lpon the door, transferred it to James. Its custodian. Indicated the obnoxious earner of the reward with the other, and zJiowed his pumps to waft him away to secretariat regions. When the money touched Fuzzys dingy palm his first instinct was to take to his heels; but a second thought restrained him from that blunder of etiquette. It was his; it had been given him. It and, oh, what an elysium it opened to the gaze of hi" mind's eye! He had tumbled to the foot of the ladder; he was hun gry, homeless, friendless, ragged, cold, 'drifting; and he held in his hand the key to a paradise of the mud-honey that he craved. The fairy doll had waved a wand with her rag stufTed hand; and now wherever he might go the enchanted palaces with shining foot-rests and magic red fluids ia gleaming glassware would be open to him. He followed James to the door. He paused there as the flunky drew open the great mahogany portal for bim to pass into the vestibule. Beyond the wrought-iron gates in the dark highway Black Riley and his two pals casually strolled, fingering under their coats the Inevitably fatal .weapons that were to make the re ward of the rag-doll theirs. Fuzzy stopped at the Millionaire's door and betl aught himself. Like lit tle sprigs of mistletoe on a dead tree, certain living green thoughts and memories began to decorate his con fused mind. He was quite drunk, mind you, and the present was begin ining to fade. Those wreaths and fes toons of holly with their scarlet be! ries making the great hall gay : where had he seen such things be fore? Somewhere he had known pol-. Ished floors and odors of fresh flowers. In winter, and and some one was singing a song in the house that he thought he had heard before. Some one singing and playing a harp. Of course it was Christmas Fuzzy thought he must have been pretty drunk to have overlooked that. And then he went out of the pres ent, and there came back to him out of some impossible, vanished and ir revocable past a little, pure-white, transient, forgotten ghost the spirit oi noblesse oblige. Upon a gentleman certain things devolve. James opened the outer door. A stream of light went down the grav eled walk to the iron gate. Black Riley, McCarthy and One-ear Mike saw, and carelessly drew their sinister cordon closer about the gate. With a more imperious gesture than James master had ever used or could ever cse. Fuzzy compelled the medial "It Is Cust customary When a Gen. tleman Calls on Christmas Eve to Pass the Compliments of the Sea son With the Lady of the House." to close the door. Upon a gentleman certain things devolve. Especially at the Christmas season.. "It is cust customary," he said to James, the flustered, "when a gentle man calls on Christmas eve to pass the compliments of the season with the lady of the house. Tou und'stan(L? I Ehall not move shtep till 1 pass com pl'ments season with lady the house. Tjnd'BtandT" There was an ' argument. James lost. Fuzzy raised his. voice and sent it through the bouse unpleasantly. I did not say he was a gentleman, He was simply a tramp being visited by a ghost. A sterling sliver bell rang. James went back to answer it, leaving Fuzzy In the halL James explained Trie where to some one. Then he came, and conducted Fvzzy Into the library. The Jady entered a moment later. She was more beautiful and holy thaa any picture that Fuzzy bad seen. She smiled, and said something about a doO. Fuzzy didn't understand that; he remembered nothing at all about a dolL . A footman brought fa two small glasses o" sparkling wine oa a stamped sterling-silver waiter. The lady took one. The other was handed to Fuzzy. As his fingers closed on the slender glass stem his disabilities dropped from him for one brief moment. He straightened himself; and Time, so disobliging to most of us. turned back ward for a moment to accommodate Fuzzy. Forgotten Christmas ghosts whiter than the false beards of the most epo lent Kriss Kriagle were rising in the fumes cf Grogan's whisky. What had "Components Sheasoa with Lady TV House." the millionaire's mansion to do with a long, wainscoted Virginia ball, where the riders were grouped araatd a sO ver punch-bow 1, drinking the aaeiest toast of the noose? And why saooid the patter of the cab bones" hooCa om the frozen street be In any wise re lated to the sound of the saddled bant ers stamping under the shelter of ttkm west veranda? And what bad Fnxxy to do witi acy of it? The Iay, looking at him over glass, let her condescending fade away like a false dawn. eyes turned serious. She aai thing beneath the rags and Scotch ter rier whiskers that she did sot SDder stand. But it did not matter. Fuzzy lifted bis glass aad ftfw vacantia. "r-::ardcn. lady," be said, "but cotLuin't leave without excfiangia" comp'ments sheason with lady tL' house. 'Gainst principles genlemaa do aho." And then he began the mnrifat sate tation that was a tradition la the house when men wore lace raffles and powder. "The the blessings of another year " Fuzzy'a memory tailed him. Tie lady prompted: --i-Be upon this hearth." " The guest stammered Fuzzy, " And noon her who" continued the lady, with a leading satOe. "Oh, cut it out." said Fuzzy, fO '.uanneredly. "I can't remember. Orimk hearty." Fuzzy had shot his arrow. They drank. The lady smiled again the smile of her caste. James enveloped Fuzzy and reconducted him toward the front door. The harp music std softly drifted through the boose. Outside, Black Riley br-athed on his cold hands and hugged the gates. Cold though he was. Be did not think of deserting his post while Fuzzy re mained inside, "I wonder," said the lady to herself, musing, "who but there were so many who came. I wonder whether memory is a curse or a blessing to them after they have fallen so low." Fuzzy and his escort were nearly at the door when the lady called: "James!" James stalked back obsequiously, leaving Fuzzy waiting unsteadily, with bis brief spark of the divine fire en tirely gone. Outside, Black Riley stamped bis cold feet and got a firmer grip oa bis section of gas-pipe. "You will conduct this gentleman." said the lady, "down-staira. Then tell Louis to get out the Mercedes aad take him to whatever place be Ishrr to go." i