Forecasting the Weather.
Of all the scientific departments the
weather bureau was started with the
least amount of knowledge of its par
ticular subject. Independent observ-
ers had gathered a small amount of
disassociated facts and based conclu
sion as It suited them upon the facts.
But meteorology was a very indefinite
thing, strongly flbered with bad guess
es, myths, traditions and theories. It
was like the German grammar ol
which Mark Twain complained. For
every page of rules there were forty
pages of exceptions. When the weath
er bureau was started It was with lit
tle worth while. It had to map out a
campaign of study, and there was no
way of telling how long it might be
before the study would permit of the
laying down of rules. Every one
knows that the bureau Is far more effi
cient than it was. It Is getting the
hang of the weather, learning Its mul
titudinous tricks, Its coyness and
treachery. It is In the nature of the
case a slow affair. Toledo Blade.
Not to Be Deceived.
"John," she asked after she had fin
ished packing her trunk, "will you re
member to water the flowers in the
porch boxes every day?"
"Yes, dear. I'll see that they are
properly moistened regularly."
"And the rubber plant in the dining
room. You know it will have to be
sprayed, about three times a week."
"I'll remember it."
"I'eq afraid you'll forget the canary
and let the poor little thing starve."
"Don't worry about the bird, dear.
Ill take good care of him."
"But I feel sure you'll forget about
keeping the curtains drawn so that
things won't all be faded out when, I
get back."
"Don't give yourself a moment's un
easiness about the curtains, I'll keep
the house as dark as a tunnel."
"John, I'm not going. You have
some reason for being anxious to get
rid of me." Chicago Record-Herald.
' The Druids.
The Druids were evidently of very
great antiquity, for there cannot be
much doubt that it was one of their
customs that Virgil had In mind when
he wrote in the "Aeneid," vi. 142. that
the "only means of access for a living
mortal to the world of spirits was the
carrying of a golden twig which grew
In a .dark and thick grove." The re
semblance of the story to the Druidlcal
rite Is perfect. The Druids practiced
their rites in' dark groves. If a mis
tletoe was discovered growing upon
an oak a priest severed it with a knife,
and a festival was held under the tree
at which two milk white bulls were
offered as a sacrifice. This was a sac
rifice to the sun god, and the mistletoe,
from Its pale greenish yellow tint, was
regarded as a kind of vegetable gold
and was accordingly looked upon as
being a fit offering to the sun. New
York American.
Catching Speed.
Two wild eyed horses, wearing. dilap
idated harness and drawing a battered
delivery wagon, stopped at the stable
door.
"Just had a runaway!" panted the
driver.
"Then, for heaven's sake, don't put
those horses In with the other horses
that will soon go out on a trip." said
the bead hostler. "If you do they'll
run away too. They always do. Be
fore I learned as much about borses as
I know now I brought on a dozen
runaways by doing that fool trick.
The horses that have Just been, on a
spree are still worked up to fever
pitch, the rest of the horses catch the
spirit of the devil from them, and as
soon as they get out they take a
b9ftder."-tfW York TJmea.
Patience.
Patience Is the most important fac
tor In making a success of life. No
great work was ever accomplished
without a wholesome amount of this
attribute practiced by the achiever.
Eager to Go.
"My good man, how did you happen
to be thrown out of work?"
"I got out," replied Weary Wombat,
with dignity. "I didn't hafter be
thrown out." Washington Herald.
Hope Deferred.
Singleton I understand your mother-in-law
is very rich. Does she enjoy
good health? Henpeckke Enjoy It?
She positively gloats . over it Ex
change. Conscience is harder than our ene
mies, knows more, accuses with more
nicety. George Eliot.
Deep Mourning.
The manager of the theater racked
his brain in vain.
"We must do something," he repeat
ed bitterly. "People will expect us to
do something to show respect to the
proprietor now that he is dead."
"Shall we close for the night of the
funeral?" suggested the assistant stage
manager.
"With this business? You're a fool,
laddie, a fool. No; put the chorus In
black stockings."
And it was even so. Sporting Times.
A Virginia Dish.
In a baking dish place alternate lay
ers of sliced apples and sliced boiled
sweet potatoes, each layer sweetened
and flavored with nutmeg. Add a
lump of butter, pour over a little water
and bake slowly until the top is nicely
browned. Serve in dish in which It Is
baked. National Magazine.
Friendly Candor.
"Is he a friend of yours?"
"Well, he seems to think he Is. He
never meets me without feeling that it
is his duty to tell me something that
will leave me unhappy for the res bf
the day." Chicago Record-Herald.
Loyal.
"I have no patience with Dubbins.
He sneers at Velasquez."
"Well, I don't care much for foreign
ers myself, but if Velasquez is a friend
of yours 1 don't blame you for getting
sore." Birmingham Age-Herald.
Too Willing.
Tramp Mister, would you give me a
nickel for a meal? Pedestrian For a
glass of beer, more likely. Tramp
Wotever you says, boss; you're payin'
for It. Exchange
Mislaid.
"I mislaid $50 last night"
"Hard lines! Can't you think where
you put it?"
"Yes. 1 put It on the wrong card."
Toledo Blade.
Two of a Kind.
Polite Neighbor Everybody .says
your husband is such a wide awake
man. Mrs. .lobbies. Mrs. Jobbles iwlth
a sighl Yes, and the baby takes after
him!
There is no utter failure In trying to
do wjjfliys good.
The Retort Caustic.
Artist's Friend (patronizingly! I
think those thistles Id your foreground
are superbly realistic, old chap! Pon
my word, they actually seem, to be nod
ding in the breeze, don't you know!"
Ungrateful Artist Yes. I have had
one or two people tell me they would
almost deceive an aagj"
The Central National
Bank
OF LINCOLN, NEBRASKA
Capital - - . .
Surplus and Undivided Profits
Deposits ....
$150,000
50,000
1,700,000
The bank that stands for the upbuilding
of Lincoln and Nebraska. A square deal
for all who give it patronage is its motto.
Castle, Roper & Matthews
UNDERTAKERS
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