NO PLACE TO WIN AT CARDS
THIS HAPPENED IN MISSOURI
Custom In American Club at Manila
Makes Lucky Player "Buy"
for Everyone.
"When you play cards at the Amerl
can club in Manila," said an American
Just returned from the Philippines,
"the worst thing you can do is to
win."
Of course there were exclamations
and questions.
"Well, you see. it's this way." con
tlnued the returned one. "At the club
the game they play is 'vingt-et-un,' in
which, as you doubtless know, one of
the best things a player can do is to
get what Is called a 'natural.' But, in
Manila, the trouble is that the getting
of a natural Immediately places its
possessor at the mercy of an unwrit
ten law comparable, in its severity, to
the laws of the Medes and Persians.
"As soon as it is known that there
is a 'natural' on the table everybody
in the clubhouse hurries to the club
bar, with hoarse cries of 'Natural!'
'Natural!' Not only that members
rush to the doors and windows of the
club, bawling 'Natural!' out into the
streets, whereupon every American
and Englishman within hearing
charges into the club like a maa bull
and makes toward the bar, without a
word.
"There is but one thing for the pos
sessor of the 'natural' to do. And, I
ask you. where are his winnings when
he has done it?"
HISTORY OF OLD FORT LEE
Consisted Merely of Earthworks and
Was Abandoned by Order of
General Washington.
The Fort Lee. of revolutionary days
wag on top of the Palisades, about
two miles up the river from the vil
lage of Edgewater, where the Fort
Lee ferry has its New Jersey landing
In the strict sense of the word, it was
hardly worthy of being called a fort,
since it consisted merely of earth
works, of which not a vestige is to be
seen today.
Tradition Bays that the fort was
laid out by Gen. Israel Putnam, and
some of the historians thus account
for the fact that the defenses were
rather expansive for their purpose.
At first it was called Fort Constitu
tion, but was soon re-named Fort Lee.
This temporary stronghold was
really constructed to co-operate with
Fort Washington, on the New York
side of the Hudson, in the defense of
the river. In the beginning it was be
lieved that the two defenses would be
able to turn the British war fleet back
and prevent it from getting up the
river to West Point.
But from the first Washington is
known to have questioned its useful
ness and It was on his' orders that it
Was finally evacuated. In November,
1776, all that was left of the American
army in New Jersey abandoned the
fort and set out on its historic retreat
to Philadelphia.
Tradition says that there was a fort
under the cliff of the river front at
some point not far from Edgewater
earlier in the revolution, but there is
no authentic record of its existence
and it therefore cannot be credited.
Literal Obedience.
Figg Talk about green servant
girls I My wife told ours to put a
'little nutmeg in' the custard she was
making this afternoon.
Fogg And she didn't do it?
Figg Oh, yes. she put a little nut
meg in, all right! I came near chok
ing over the blame thing
Maupin-Shoop Publishing Co., 1705 O
Printers who Please
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incoln sPaper Co.
Office and Warehouse
1315-17-19-21 P Street
Wholesale Dealers in
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Twine
Toilet Paper
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1115 P Street
George P. Sights, Proprietor
American Plan
Excellent
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Meals 50 Certs ,
Reasonable Rates
Cuisine Unexcelled
Miss Majcrc, "Manager
Visitors to t0 Pair Will Receive
Special Attention
A cozy, home-like stopping place.
Take the 1 2th street car. Get off
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1227 G Street
For an tlpftc-Date Line of
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li44 O Street '
Editor Mixed a Wedding Announce
ment and the Advertisement of an
Auction Sale.
A Missouri editor who was brimful
of hard cider sot a wedding account
and a sale mixed, and served to his
readers this dope:
William Smith, the only son of Mr.
and Mrs. Joslah Smith, was disposed
at auction to Lucy Anderson on my
farm, one mile east of here in the
presence of 70 guests. Including the
following, to-wH: Two mules, 12 head
of cattle. The Rev. Jackson tied the
nuptial, the least weighing 1,250
pounds on the hoof. The beautiful
home of the bride was tastefully deco
rated with a seewash calf, a spade, a
sulky rake, one feed grinder, one set
double harness, almost new, and Just
before the ceremony was pronounced.
Mendelssohn's wedding march was
played by one milch cow, five years;
one Jersey cow, to be fresh next April,
carrying a bunch of flowers In her
hand and looking charming In a gown
made of light spring wagon, two boxes
of apples, two racks of hay, one grind
stone, mouseline deori trimmed with
about 180 bushels of spuds. The groom
is well known and popular young
man and has always stood well among
society circles of 12 Berkshire hogs,
while, the bride is an accomplished and
talented school teacher of a splendid
drove of Poland-China pedigrees if
desired. Among the beautiful pres
ents were two sets of knives and forks,
one spring harrow, one wheelbarrow,
one go-cart, other articles too numer
ous to mention. The bridal couple
left yesterday on an extended trip,
term of 12 months time, extended to
responsible parties, otherwise spot
cash luncheon will be served at , the
table. . After this Mr. and Mrs. Smith
will., go to housekeeping In a cozy
borne at the corner of Main and Doc
tor R. L. Granby, auctioneer. Nation
al Monthly.
UNCLE HIRAM TO HIS NEPHEW
His Dissertation on the One Priceless
Treasure Which All Men .
Share Alike. ....
"Steven, my boy,'' said Uncle Hiram,
"one man may have more talent than
another or. more courage or more
money, but there Is one thing that no
man on earth can have any more of
than you have, and that Is time. ,
"Did you ever stop to think of that?
Or maybe you haven't come to it yet.
that of the most precious thing of all.
the same being, I . repeat, time, no
body, no. matter who he is. can have
any more than you have. There can't
be any favoritism or special privilege
or gouging or monopoly in time. You
get what's coming to you anyway, and
no man on earth can take It away
from you.
"And Isn't this something to be
cheerful over? .Why, Stevey. It's the
grandest thing going to think that of
the most valuable thing of all we've
got as much as the man that rides by
us in a $10,000 automobile. But, and
now I'm getting down to tfte sermon.
Stevey, this most precious - thing of
all is the thing of which we are most
wasteful.
"We get. our full share of It sure,
but we waste It ourselves shockingly'.
"Don't waste time. Stevnjy, please
don't. As you feel now you've got a
million years ahead of you, more or
less, plenty of time; but time Is one
of those things that once lost can
never be recovered. Don't waste a
minute of It. When you play,. play;
sink the shop; forget it utterly; but
when you work utilize all ypur time.
Don't dawdle it away." ;