TALKING OF MEN AND THINGS
of Great Britain and Ireland and Em
peror of India. We'll bet a couple of
Well, thank heaven, George the
'Seenth is at last officially crowned King
silver sesterces against a plugged dime
that George is almighty glad it is all
over. We'll likewise bet the same
amount that George would be awfully
glad to swap places with some one of his
subjects who hasn't a thing to do but
loaf in the shade of the trees along some
river and fish till he's tired. That's a
cinch bet if George is as tired of being
an active participant in all this ostenta
tious flap-doodle and poppycock as the
average American citizen is of seeing
columns about it staring him in the face
from the pages of his favorite newspaper.
John Hayes Hammond, our official
representative at the coronation seems
to have been able to perform quite as
well as any of the liveried flunkies who
kow-towed to George. And Johnnie is
quite on a par with the little lordlets and
dukelets and earlets he trained with.
But the sturdy Britons who were not in
the coronation parade readily under
stand that Johnnie doesn't come with
gunshot of representing the real Ameri
cans who never sweat- a hair nor wilt a
collar when this republic's administra
tion changes.
We have been vastly entertained by
the esteemed State Journal's interviews
with Nebraska' republicans concerning
the Taft chances for re-nomination and
election, the interviewed parties being
the editors of republicans newspapers.
After carefully scrutinizing the returns
we find: First, every republican editor
who got a postoffice is cocksure that Taft
is the Great and Only. Second, every
republican editor who got turned down
when he applied for a postoffice is cock
sure that Taft is a Down and Outer and
that LaFollette is the One and Only Best
Bet. But any man of ordinary intelli
gence could have forecasted the result
and thus saved the esteemed State Jour
nal a neat little sum of money uselessly
expended in postage stamps.
Some men have queer ideas of what
constitutes rest and recreation. Now
here is our old friend, E. H. Marshall,
who has just disposed of his business and
is able to loaf around and have a per
fectly lovely time doing nothing but en
joying himself. Does he? Not much!
ne opines that he would enjoy holding a
political office and being beholden to a
lot of cheap politicians, hounded day and
night by of f iceseekers and subscription
gatherers and subjected to a thousand
worries from as many different sources.
Men get some funny notions in their
heads occasionally, and this political of
fice bug is one of them. We happen to
speak by the card, for we've been through
it. Of course, if Brer Marshall thinks
that is what he wants, all right. But
speaking as a real friend we are of the
opinion that we could best serve him by
protecting him from himself.
that Unland and Porter are earning the
money.
Frederick L. Stimsou seems to have
profited fairly well by his connection
with the sugar investigation. For "as
sitting" the attorney general, who re
ceives $10,000 a year, Mr. Stimson pulled
down the modest fee of $87,500. He had
some assistants who pulled down from
$15,000 to $40,000 each. The sugar
trust had bilked the government out of
something like $30,000,000 by false
Weighing. Stimson secured a compro
mise whereupon the government com
promised for less than 10 per cent, and
then paid half of that amount to the
"special assisants" of the Stimson brand.
Then Stimson is rewarded by being made
a member of the Taft cabinet. It's a
great game and the producer is the
"goat," always.
; Under pretense of protecting the Am
erican sugar industry the people of this
country are taxed $230,000,000 a year
on the sugar thej' consume Do you
know how much sugar was produced in
the United States last year? The pro
duction was 384,000 tons of beet sugar
and 350,000 tons of cane sugar, a total
of 734,000 tons of sugar. The total con
sumption of sugar in the United States
during the same year was 3,185,789 tons.
In order to "protect" an industry that
prodiices less than 12 per cent of what
we need we tax sugar consumers $311
a ton for every ton produced at home,
and sugar is today retailing everywhere
in Nebraska at the rate of $117 a ton.
And the funny part of it is that the peo
ple stand for it.
Nebraska democrats seem to be play
ing a waiting game in the matter of su
preme judges. There will probably be
but three democrats file for the nomina
tions, and as there are three to elect it
will not be necessary to make a fight in
the primary. With the republicans it is
different. There are already five filings
for the three places, including the three
incumbents, with more in prospect.
After attending a couple of sessions
of the excise board we make free to ex
tend our sympathies to Messrs. Unland
and Porter and Mayor Armstrong, espe
cially Messrs. Unland and Porter. His
honor, the mayor, receives a pretty fair
salary, but Unland and Porter receive
only $300" a year, and as badly as we need
money we wouldn't undergo their wor
ries a week for that amount of money.
To have to sit for hours listening to a lot
of legal rot, be pulled and hauled hither
and yon, and have one's auriculars
pumped full of hot .air and secondhand
libations well, it is an undisputed fact
In Colonial days Massachusetts used
the ducking stool on confirmed gossips
and mischief makers. Would to heaven
we could resurrect one of those old duck
ingstools, erect it on the banks of Salt
creek in close proximity to some sewer
outlet, and work it up and down a few
times with one certain mischief making
anti-saloon leaguer occupying the front
end thereof. We have progressed a great
distance since Colonial days, but by my
haldiome, and gab-zooks, we've left be
hind some almighty good institutions.
The biggest battleship in the naval
parade in honor of the coronation of King
George was one. of Uncle Sam's. Its ap
pearance in the parade will induce Great
Britain to build a bigger one, and then
Uncle Sam will build a bigger one, and
then John Bull will build a still bigger
one, which will compel Uncle Sam to
build one yet bigger, whereupon John
Bull will go Uncle Sam one better, which
means that Uncle Sam O, what's the
use? People who will stand to be taxed
for that sort of damphoolishness are get
ting just what's coming to them.
A BIG TASK
, President B. F. Bush, the new chief
executive of the Missouri Pacific rail
road, has told the public that his first
task will be to rehabilate and build up
that great railroad system. We have
heard something like this before, but not
with the same degree of authority behind
it. Candor compels the statement that
the Missouri Pacific in Nebraska has de
generated into something like a joke, and
that, too, in the face of the fact that it
should, mile for mile, be one of the best
paying systems in the state. It tapsthe
richest agricultural districts of Nebras
ka, and affords an excellent service or
should from and to the great southwest
country. If President Bush will rebuild
the system in Nebraska it will mean , a
great deal, not only to the Missouri Pa
cific but to the business interests of the
eastern part of the state.
THE POSTAL CLERKS
No surprise need be felt that President
Taft opposes the idea of federal clerks or
ganizing into unions and affiliating with
other trades unions. The president is a
friend of organized labor, provided or
ganized labor does nothing more than
pay sick and death benefits. The trades
union, however, that really does things
for the betterment of its membership ; is
not high in President Taft's favor. Mr.
Dooley has given us a pretty good de
scription of the kind of a labor union the
president and many others favor: "A
union wit' no sthrikes, no dues, no bene
fits, hardly ony wages an' dom few numbers."
