COMING ALONG WITH SOME REAL SPORTING DOPE
And just to think that the smartest
game on the local lot this season was last
Tuesday's game with the despised tail
ender Des Moines team. Thirteen in
nings, 3 to 2, with our beloved 'Lopes on
the small end of the score. But the Des
Moines outfit Avon the game because it
deserved to win. The wonder is that the
Des Moines team loses so often. Indi
vidually it has a pretty classy lot of play
ers. Houston would adorn the pitching
staff of any team in the loop. Siling
Bill Dwyer would strengthen not less
than six teams if located on first. Mat
tick lacks a lot of being the poorest center
fielder in the loop, and Anderson is show
ing vastly improved form since he re
tired from Pa Rourk's outfit. We lost
that game because Des Moines outplayed
us. ITouston had our hired men feeding
from his right hand at all stages of the
game. Yet Brer Fox of our owii beloved
'Lopes pitched in a way that would win
eight out of ten games.
Sioux City has been sliding cellarAvard
with all the rapidity of a man thinking
up a new one to tell his wife as he hurries
home after being out late. It has been
the worst case of slumpthe loop has ex
perienced. But the streak of bad luck
seems to have been broken. He who counts
the Packers out of the running has an
other guess coming.
No use talking that aggregation of
Hollanders from ol' Joe Robideaux's vil
lage has got a jinx on us somewhere. We
wollop 'em all, only to go down before
the Hollander like a tomato plant before
a cutworm. Why this is thus we can not
say. We can only talk about being out
lucked, swear at his Umps and kick the
cat when we get home. That we did get
the worst of the umpiring in the first
game of the series is beyond question, and
but for that we'd copped the first game.
But we lost the other two because we
were outbatted and outfielded. But we
are still lingering in and about the .600
mark, and if we can stick there we'll make
the team that grabs the bunting go to
beat the band.
Paulopolis Cobb has slumped fearfully
in his batting. We know why, because we
were once young ourselves. It alwajs
has a bad effect on a young man's nerves.
Time was when we had periodic attacks of
the same thing ourselves, and we moped
around like a kitten with the distemper,
gazed vacantly at the moon, sighed dole
ful sigs, spent our lonesome moments
in wandering about in the moonlight. We
greatly fear we will have to prescribe for
Paulopolis' case. The prescription will
be drastic, but effective.
Parson George has rounded into form
at last and from now on the 'Lope pitch
ing staff is going to set 'enj afire Around
f he loop,
THE YEARNING FAN
I want to get out on the bleachers,
Unmindful of withering heat,
Along with my wild fellow creatures
Who there on equality meet.
I want to set my voice a roaring,
And chriek at His Umps till I'm
hoarse ;
I want to dance juba when scoring
A man on the home team, of course.
I want to fill lungs full of weather,
And eyes full of cloud and of sky;
A hint of the woodland and heather
Out there where the wide stretches lie.
My brain is a cobwebby attic;
It's grimed with the dust of the years;
My limbs have grown weak and rheu
matic I long for the pastime that cheers
I want to see Unglaub so natty;
I year for His Umps strident call.
To get on the bleachers I'm batty;
I've just got to see 'em play ball!
I want to get out on the bleachers
And sit with the genuine fans;
To take a full part with the screechers.
Unmindful of hot sun that tans.
I want to sit sans coat and collar
And munch on the ; goobers, and yell ;
I want to stand straight up and holler
When the home team's batting ike
well,
You know how you feel when the batter
Leans up 'gainst the leather kerflop !
And then, midst the noise and the clatter,
Scotts safely to second and stop.
I want to pump air in my bellows
And get some more blood rich and red ;
Rub elbows with jolly good fellows
And get the moss out of my head.
I want to yell "robber!" and "rotten!"
And whoop as I did when a boy;
The cares of my busines forgotten
Out there at the ball game O, joy!
Here, give me a big sheet of paper,
My pen and a bottle of ink!
I'll show you the real proper caper
I'll stay here and toil, I don't think!
There, let this neat sign be adorning
The front of the old office door:
OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO
O A GREAT AUNT DIED YES- O
O TERDAY MORNING. THE FU- O
O NERAL THIS P. M. AT FOUR O
OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO
W. M. Maupin in The Commoner
We are off for a hour of the east end
of the loop, and Ave expect to grab off a
majority of the games enough, at any
rate, to keep right around that .GOO mark.
The Grizzlies also start off on the road
and wre expect to see them stopped in their
mad career. Sioux City is home, for a
stay of a couple of weeks, and we'r? bet.
ting our four-dollar dog against any four
one-dollar cats that the Packers wind it
up with a much better standing in the ,
percentage table.
With all due regard for the ability of
Robertus Unglaud as a first-sacker, Ave
yearn to see Jack Thomas back on the
first corner. As a first sacker the agile
Mr. Thomas can give 'em all cards, spades
and little casino and then beat 'em out on
the count.
If it be a violation of good morals to
attend a Sunday. ball game wc confess to
a couple of grevious sins last Sunday. .
First Ave saw the game, and secondly Ave
muttered some pretty strong language in
our OAvn ear concerning a feAv yelloAArs 'who
sat in our part of the grand stand and
grouched because the 'Lopes piled up the
errors. Considering the gale that -'blew
and the way those Hollanders Avere
smashing the ball, the AAonder is that
error column didn't show up three or four
times as big.
Our capable .hired men will be home
again on J une 28, and that's to be the big
noise in local ball annals. It is to 'be a
big reception to the Antelopes, and the
Commercial club is engineering the deal.
We expect to meet and greet about 7,0f!0
of our friends at the park on that eventful
day. The Aveather man has been Avarned
of a direful fate if he interferes. Arrange
your dates so as to be there on June 2S.
After sereral seasons as the possessor
of the tailenders, and a season or tAvo
without any team at all, Pueblo is crazy
with joy over having the team that is
right up behind the leader. Isbell's
bunch is playing ball for fair, and the
beauty of it all is that the fans of Little
Pittsburg are giving it a support that
makes that which Wichita accorded it
look like the Irish section of an Italian
day parade.
The proposition to secure Gonding's
release from Pa Rourke's team and make
him an official umpire has one draAvback
it is so blamed good that President
O'Neill is not likely to listen to it.
Gonding knoAvs the game backAArards, has
rare judgment, the confidence of the
players and the respect of the fans
That's more than can be said of 75 per
cent of the umpires selected by O'Neill,
who persists in giving the affairs of the
Western League Christian Science treatment.
Cut it out, fellows ! We mean the um
pire batting. It was no credit to Lin
coln that Shoemaker felt it necessary to
ride away from the grounds with the vis
iting team last Saturday, AA'ith a police
man, hanging on to the back steps of the
carriage. We &Jntft tat iy felt jm
