PHILOSOPHY BY THE WAYSIDE
J u ,st for a Little While.
I'd like to be a boy again,
Just for a clay or two.
I'd like to roam through the old home
ways,
Just as I used to do.
Over the hills and far away,
Wandering mile on mile,
'Neath a sky as blue as it used to be
Just for a little while.
I'd like to mingle with chums of old,
Just for a day or two.
Whistling the Jiours of day away,
Just as I used to do.
Over the fields and through the lane,
Down to the old, worn style,
Healing the "Whip-poor-Will's" shrill
Just for a little while.
I'd like to fish in the clear, cold creek,
Just for a day or two.
Watching the cor k as it sinks from sight,
Just as I used to do.
Over the bridge and through the woods,
Marching in single file,
Searching with chums for big nut rtees,
Just for a little while.
I'd like to rest 'neath the old home roof,
Just for a day or two.
Dreaming dreams of the days to come,
Just as I used to do.
Over the ashes of yesterdays,
Sitting I dream and smile;
Wishing that time would take me back.
Just for a little while.
Will M. Manpin.
WHAT THE OFFICE HOY tiAYti
I ain't abuv usin' a cuss woid now an'
then, but when I hear a man usin' cuss
Avoids most uv de toime L know he ain't
got sense enuff t' think up eny new woids.
Sum uv de guys dat do de loudest pray
in' on Sunday do de most preyin' on de
other days o' de week.
After all we got t' admit dat we have
a seakin' admurashun f'r de real smooth
liar.
De blokes w'ot say dat houses o' pros
titushun are necessary would raise hell if
dey found deir own sisters dere.
Most fellers dat's hollerin' about lack
uv opportunity are only advertisin' deir
own laziness.
I ain't been woikiu' long but long enuff"
t' understand dat if I don't do no more
woik dan I'm paid f'r doin' I ain't likely
t' get paid f'r doin' any more woik.
Me steady skoit is gittin' so she ad
vises me t' save me money instead o'
blowin' it on her Vv do frozen stuff an'
de picter shows. I guess dat means me
f'r de license clerk or a nunnery.
De real foreman ain't de guy w'ot c'n
t' ink up enuff woik t' keep de hands
busy while lie's struttin' around lookin'
wise.
A lot o' people who are puttin' all deir
trust in God are goin' t' discover some day
dat God expected dem t' do a little on
deir own account.
A lot o' people wit' showy fronts are
so durned thin dat before you get deir
front door half open you are in de back
yard.
Wen I see some wimmen trapsyin'
along de street I ain't surprised dat deir
husbands are hit-tin' de flowin' bowl
purty hard.
De feller dat keeps hustlin' like hell
ain't got no time t' worry about other
people's business.
Dere is enuff stained glass in de win
ders o' de choiches t' afford comfort t' an
offul lot o' widders an' orfuns dat don't
ji'it half enuff t' eat now.
De guy w'ot does de best he kin gits
credit f'r doin' all he kin.
Dat haff o' de wroild dat don't kno how
de other haff lives don't give a dam,
either. Dat's de trubble.
It don't take God long t' put de re
verse English on de prayers o' de rich
guy in de pew who made his money
woikin' kids an' women f'r starvation
woiges.
TRY AGAIN.
What if you have sadly fallen
From the water wagon's seat,
And have landed damp and muddy
In the middle of the street?
Rise and chase it down, my brother;
On the front seat quickly crawl,
Better try and fall, my brother,
Than to never try at all.
WAITING.
"I thought you had a scheme for mak
ing a lot of money."
"I have, and it's a cinch, I'm just wait
ing." "For what?"
"O, I'm just waiting until I can find
a community with enough suckers to pay
me a bonus, for going into a profitable
business." . :
MISTAKEN.
"That was a grave error that Bingly
made?"
"Tell me about it."
"lie went into office and expected to
do things in such a way that he would be
forced into the limelight, instead of do
ing it he had to ask for a coat of whitewash."
CAUTIOUS.
"Marry me," cried the millionaire,
"and I will treat you like a queen !"
"That is not enough," replied the cau
tious damsel. "I must be assured that
you will treat me like a chorus girl."
TOM GATELY, HERO
"Don't waste any time on me; I'm all
in. Help the women."
Cooked by escaping steam until his
flesh fell from his bones, thus spake,
Tom Gately, one of the victims of the
Indianola wreck last Tuesday.
. Smiling through his horrible pain, al
though the smile cracked the blistered
flesh on his face, Gately said: "Every
little bit helps," as a friend laid a cold
cloth upon his cooked forehead.
"I'm all in help the women !"
Tom Gately was a wrestler by profes
sion. But he was more than that he
was a man, every inch of him. And
when he refused the help that he knew
would avail him nothing, telling those
who would succor him to give their at
tention to the women, he proved himself
a hero. We admit scant knowledge of
theology or of the scheme of human re
demption, but we do believe that no mat
ter what kind of a life Tom Gately lived
and so far as we know it was a clean
life the manner of his dying made sure
his eternal reward.
"I'm all in help the women !"
Scalded to the point of death, his
cooked flesh falling from his very bones,
this man of iron nerve and big heart pre
ferred to suffer alone in order that others
might be benefitted. We will continue
to build towering monuments to states
ment and soldiers, but the chances are
that one of the humble heroes, as great
as any of them, will rest in a grave un
marked save by a lowly stone. Yet the
modest slab of granite that marks the
last resting place of Tom Gately will
mark the grave of one of the world's
heroes.
"Don't waste time on me; I'm all in.
Help the women!"
Finer words were never uttered by hu
man tongue. Had we known Tom Gate
ly in life it would have been our pleasure
through all the coming days, for to know
a hero like him is seldom given to man.
God rest his heroic soul !
Always sorry to see Herr Unglaub out
of the line up, but every time he is we
go out behind the chickencoop and hug
ourselves at the thought that we have
Guiseppe Dundoii to understudy him
Guiseppe is some understudj7, if anybody
interrogates you on that point.
We dare Frank Isbell to pull off a deal
whereby he will become owner of the Des
Moines franchise,