WITH SOME REAL
COMING ALONG
Well, anyhow, we stood at the top
Thursday morning, By putting it over
the St. Joe bunch Wednesday while
Sioux City was laying off, we led the
league for a little while, at least. But .
we are not wearing any enlarged caput
on that account. The season is young
yet, and the uncertainty of baseball is
one of its chief charms. Hut we are go
ing to be in the pennant chase all the way
if we don't accumulate a bunch of , crips.
limps Clark would be a good official
if he had better judgment on balls and
strikes, could properly judge close de
cisions on the bases, had a pair of good
lamps and enough judgment to get in
when it is raining pitchforks. Barring
these minor defects he is a good umpire.
Johnnie Jones' experience in front of
our 'Lopes at Sioux City may not prove
him unable to "come back," but it did
demonstrate that if he is coming he has
not yet arrived. And we'd just love to
see Johnnie back in his old form. Men
like the schoolmaster add a lot to the
game.
Two games at Des Moines and our Mr.
Despain had to take the guarantee both
times. Will somebody please explode a
stick of dynamite under Grandfather
Higgins!
Parson George is a bit slow in round
ing into form, which should be some
thing of a warning to other young and
aspiring slabsters. There are some
things a baseball player can not dally
with and remain in the game long.
Nine home runs in a doubleheader at
Sioux City. Some time ago we resolved
not to mention the pillbox again, and we
will not. But we can not refrain from
a little something, so here goes: ).'!!
! ! biff! !! ? (!"
With that out of our system we feel better.
While condoling with our emaciated
friend, Mr. Towne of Sioux City, we can
but rejoice that Marty O'Toole is not
likely to return to the Packers. The
weakening of Sioux City by Marty's ab
sence rather strengthens every other
team in the loop.
"Ty" Cobb allowed President Taft to
grasp his hand the other day, and we
don't blame William a bit for feeling all
swelled up about it.
Southpaw Aitchison has been secured
from Brooklyn by the Towne-Fairbroth-er
combine. Aitchison went up from
Wichita last fall. He will add some
thing to the already strong Packer out
Sunday we clash wit h the rejuvenated
Rourkes, and if the weather jinks has
been squelched properly we expect to
meet something like 5,000 of our admir
ing friends at the pay gates at the
Beach. Pa has injected a lot of fresh
cayenne into his bunch and we may ex
pect to have a battle royal on our hands,
but we are sanguine and sanguinary.
Robertus Unglaub seems to have won
back his batting optic, for he has been
leaning up against the ball so hard of
late that its seams have made huge dents
in the Robertus willow.
. , An umps must.be feeling mighty peev
ish to banish Unglaub from a game. No
body ever heard our manager with the
pied line name use a profane word, a
blackguarding phrase or a naughty
name. He is naturally full of fizz and
fights like a terrier to win, but he is al
ways gentlemanly about it.
Barring Des Moines, which is so hope
lessly in the ruck that it couldn't get out
with the aid of Archimedes and his lever,
the race in the western loop is still any
body's. Topeka, standing seventh,
could land in top place inside of two
weeks by a winning streak if those ahead
broke even. It would pay the seven
managers to get together and put up
enough money to induce Granfather
Higgins to retire to the Home for the
Aged and Infirm and let a man born
since 1837 take charge of the "Boosters."
By the way, every time we say "Boost
ers" we have our fingers crossed.
Another feature about the Sioux City
ball park. When it is necessary to get
a home run to win all that is necessary
is for some Packer to hit the ball smart
ly, while another Packer lifts up a bit
of fence and lets the ball through for a
home run. That's a new one in baseball,
but Umps Clark let it get by him last
Tuesday.
Without meaning to be at all personal
we have no hesitancy in saying that the
trick turned by Kerns upon Topeka in
cates that Kerns isn't to be trusted any
further than a six-months old baby could
throw that Bull sign by the painted tail.
What the bleachers should do to Kerns
every time he shows up ought to be a
complete sufficiency.
Both Denver and Omaha had the rab
bitfoot with them last Monday. Both
teams were in the awful wreck near In
dianola, but barring a few minor bruises
both teams came through all right.
If Muscatine thinks our Mr. Despain
is one E. Z. Mark, then Muscatine has
warts on its thinkery. Muscatine dick-
SPORTING DOPE
ered for "Babbitt' Rondeau and signed
the papers. "Rabbitt" played like a
house afire and then sustained an injury
that will keep him out of the game for
weeks. Whereupon Muscatine wanted
to gig back. But our Mr. Despain
murmured : "Nay, not so," adding a little
bit by way of emphasis. The Muscatine
manager acts like a geek willing to pinch
the dollar till Miss Liberty busted her
corsetstrings.
The "yellows" seem to be growing
more numerous in Joetown. Lincoln
has but a few of the yellow-kidney kind,
but sometimes they get mighty vocifer
ous. It was the "yellows" that put Joe
town out of professional basebali for
several years. The real fans of that
burg ought to get busy with hobnail
boots.
Wait ! In due time the greatest base
ball contest in the history of the game is
yet to be pulled off, and in Lincoln, too.
It will be between a team of picked
Spavs from the Elks and a selected team
of Ringbones from the Ad club. The ad
mission fee will be 25 cents, and every
body wTho remains the entire game will
receive something less than $20 each.
The receipts will be appropriated for the
purchase of arnica, salve, anti-septic cot
ton, bandages, liniment, P. Davis pain
killer, Spts. Fru. and Weidbuzzer.
Every ambulance wagon in the city will
be lined up in the park usually reserved
for buzz buggies, and professional nurses
will have reserved seats in the south end
of the grandstand. It will be far from
idolatory to worship that game, for there
can not be anything like it on the earth,
in the earth or beneath the waters that
cover the earth.
WILL
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