Will Maupin's weekly. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1911-1912, May 26, 1911, Image 7

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    ishment." But as a general proposition
Ave hold that an average of one kiss a day
between husband and wife would prevent
a whole lot of divorce suits; also prevent
quite a mess of domestic misunderstand
ings.
TAKE YOUR CHOICE
In a late issue of the Outlook, Theo
dore lloosevelt, after a few prefatory ob
servations, continues :
"In exacting the same spirit
I state the convictions of The Outlook in
expressing its hearty reprobation of the
conduct of those labor leaders who, with
out waiting to know anything of the facts
of the case, have at once flown publicly
to the defense of the alleged dynamiters
whom Mr. Burns has now arrested, and
who talked about the arrest as being
part of a conspiracy against labor unions.
"No worse service can be rendered by
labor union leaders to the cause of union
ism than that which they render when
they seek to identify the cause of union
ism with the cause of any man guilty of
a murderous attack of this nature. I
have no idea whether the men arrested on
Mr. Burns' staetment are or are not
guilty ; the labor leaders in question have
no idea whether or not they are. They
are entitled to an absolutely fair trial. If
they have no money to provide counsel
for themselves, then it would be entirely
proper for any body of men to furnish
them the requisite funds, simply as an
incident in securing them a fair trial.
But it is grossly improper to try to create
a public opinion in favor of the arrested
men simply because the crime of which
they are accused is one committed
against a capitalist or a corporation, and
because the men who are, charged with
committing it are members of a labor
union."
William J. Bryan, in an editorial, has
this to say:
"The country will suspend judgment
while the courts deal with the charges
against the labor leaders MeNamara,
MeNamara and McManigal. The crime
committed was a heinous one too hor
rible to impute to anyone without posi
tive proof. No punishment is too severe
for men who resort to such crimes, but
the public will sympathize with the mem
bers of the unions in assuming the ac
cused innocent until they are shown to
be guilty, and in condemning the resort
to kidnapping of the accused. If the evi
dence should show the accused really
guilty the unions will be as quick to con
demn them as the outside world will be,
for organized labor has no greater enemy
than the man who resorts to violence,"
PHILOSOPHY BY THE WAYSIDE
WHAT THE OFFICE BOY SAYS
from the truth. Strife there always will
be, and always should be but it is the
open, fair and above-board strife that
. means the development of trade and com
merce. The two cities have too much in
common to waste any time in enmities
and jealousies. Omaha is and will con
tinue to be the big city of Nebraska, its
greatest wholesale and manufacturing
point, but it will never be so big that
(here isn't room for another big, busy,
growing city like Lincoln. Why wouldn't
it be a good idea for the Lincoln Com
mercial Club to invite the Omaha Com
mercial Club to come down some day this
summer and take in the town, and later
in the season return the visit? The truth
of the matter is, Omaha is getting so big
and so proud of her progress that she is
in danger of becoming provincial. Come
down or up to Lincoln and get better -acquainted.
"Now look what you've gone and
done!'' shrieks the lumber combine, point
ing its accusing linger at the press of the
country. In other words, the lumber
combine would have been able to continue
its defiance of law had the press not com
pelled notice of the combine's iniquities.
The lumber magnates seem to believe
that their crime consists, not in violating
the law, but in being caught in the act.
All of which reminds us of the explana
tion offered by the convict to the mis
sionary who visited him. "Why are you
here, my poor friend?'' asked the mis
sionary. "Because I sneezed," replied
the convict. "How is that?" asked the- ;
puzzled visitor. "'Cause when I sneezed
it woke up de guy whose house I was
robbin' an' he called de cops," was the reply.
Governor Aldrich has notified the coun
ty attorneys of Hall, Dodge, Otoe and
Douglas counties that they must get busy
and enforce the Alberts law against prop
erty owners who rent houses for immoral
purposes, or permit their property to be
thus used. The social evil is rather a
ticklish subject to discuss in a newspaper,
but Will Maupin's Weekly ventures to
make a few remarks thereon. There are
those who argue that a "red light" dis
trict is a necessary evil. We deny the
assertion, but we will not very strenu
ously oppose the "red light" district if
those who argue that it is a necessary
evil will kindly recruit its female popu
lation from their own households, giving
over their own wives, and daughters and
sisters for what they claim is the good of
society at large.
Judge Orr of Atlanta, Ga., has sen
tenced a recalcitrant husband to kiss his
wife his own wife, not the judge's at
least once a day. Not knowing the wife
in question we are not prepared to render
an opinion of the merits of the judicial
decision. It is barely possible that the
wife belongs to that class which would
make such a sentence illegal on account
of its providing "cruel and unusual pun-
Jealousy is lookin' f'r somethin' youse
don't want t' find.
Most any feller could be as prosper--ous
as a pawnbroker if he took as mutch
intrust in his bizness.
Life is alius miserabul f'r de guy with
an in growin' grouch.
God Almighty ain't a goin' t' balance
up some fellers accounts jus' because dey
give a lot o' money t' charity.
On de square now, don't you rather
cotton t' de liar dat c'n do it smooth?
Every once in a while I see some feller
. diggin' up a pile o' money t' pay f'r one
o' dem "soft snaps" we offun hear about.
It's durn foolishness t' try an' drown
sorrers in whisky. De only result is t'
make 'em float t' de top.
A whole lot o' parents is flxin' up di
vorce cases f'r deir sons an' daughters
w'ot ain't out o' short clothes yet:
De guy w'ot sits down an' waits f'r
opportunity t' knock is usually asleep
when she raps on de door.
I hcv seen wimmen weepin' oyer th'
woes o' de burglars and porchclimbers in
de pen who wouldn't weep a drop over
de trubbles ov de poor little kids down
in de slum district.
I ain't never heard o' no hungry man
feelin' better after lookin at one o' "de
Carnegy libraries.
De guys wot say dat "red light" dis
tricks is necessary are usually de gr.ys
dat make 'em possible by grindin' da
faces o' de poor. De man dat defends de
"red light" districk ought t' hev t' send
his own sisters down dere.
If de goils t'ink de way dey air doin' up
deir hair dese days is attractive t' de
men, dey ought t' have a heart-t'-heart
talk wit' deir brothers.
Next t' de ol' maid dat trys t' act like
a schoolgoil, de most painf idlest sight t'
me is dat of a kid chawin' terbacker
'cause he t'inks it makes him look like a
man.
A lot uv is givin' widout gittin' be
cause dere is so many w'ot is gittin' wid
out givin'.
De Devil alius gits especially busy
w'en de choiches send deir pastors off on
a summer vacation. Dere is one good
t'ing t' say about de Devil he attends
strickly t' business all do time,