COMING ALONG WITH SOME REAL SPORTING DOPE
Far bo it from us to kick, but wo would
advise Manager Holland of tho St. Joo
Drumerx ta take "Tex" Jonos outside of
town some night and wash out his dirty,
blackguarding mouth, using some home
made soap. After the washing he should
further deodorize the aforesaid mouth by
copious applications of axlegrease.
Shafer of the Drummers had no license
to make such a Jerusalem pony of him
self as he did at last Monday's game.
Cooper did not come within a mile of
touching Gagnier at the plate. Umpire
Wood, who officiated had no legal stand
ing or Shafer would have been chased to
the woods with a stiff fine. As it was
Shafer merely made a large, voluptious,
quivering, tiresome Balam's saddle
animal of himself, and kept it up until he
retired from sheer exhaustion. Wood had
some fearfully close decisions to make,
and he satisfied everybody but Shafer and
Jones. Then the Drummers sailed in and
won the game on absolute merit.
We have been really delighted at the
way our fetsive pastimer, Mr. Miller has
been swatting the ball when called into
action. The more we see of Mr. Miller
the more cheerfully we instruct our Mr.
Despain to sign his semi-monthly pay
check. And what we herein say about
Mr. Miller goes as to Guiseppe Dundon.
If memory is not at fault last Tues
day's game is the third successive shut
out game wriggled bj Jake Wolverton.
Jacobus pitched stellar ball all the time,
and while hit with some frequency kept
the hits so scattered that they looked like
a few flyspecks on the "big top" of the
Ringling circus. Incidentally some daz
zling fielding behind Jacobus contributed
very materially to the shutout.
We are not going to interfere, prefer
ring to leave all such matters to our
trusty Mr. Despain, but we opine that the
practice of grabbing off the balls that go
over the fence and making off with them
has met with its quietus. The delver after
knowledge who opined for a time that be
cause he made quite a hit as an athlete
in educational circles he could get away
with one of our dollar-and-a-quarter base
balls, has grabbed off a bit of knowledge
that may serve him in good stead in the
days to conie.
What's the matter with Des Moines?
Individually the "Boosters" are good
ballplayers, but they fail to work har
moniously on the field. Their mental
cogs don't mesh. And with a Higgins at
the helm it is no wonder their course is
always leading them on the rocks of de
feat. We don't wish Higgins any hard
luck, of course, but we do wish he
couldn't eat, sleep or drink until he let
go of the Des Moines franchise and gave
a real base ball manager a chance.
THE GENUINE "FAN"
Anyone can laugh and holler when the
home team's in the lead
And the score is all lop-sided and oppo
nents "off their feed;"
I Jut commend me to the fellow who can
smile and still stay sweet
When the visitors are winners and the
Home
Team's
Beat!
We contract a tired feeling when we hear
a noisy "fan"
Knock the home team when it loses like
a premium hammerman
'Stead of cheering up the locals witli en
thusiastic shout
And boosting like the mischief till the
Last
Man's
Out !
O, ft's easy to be cheerful when the home
team is ahead '
And the kalsomine in plenty on the
visitors is spread;
And it's easy for our faces to expand in
joyful grins
When we've got the foemen going and the
Home
Team
Wins !
But the man we love the greatest is the
man who smiles and smiles
When the visitors are hitting our home
pitcher miles and miles.
He is always optimistic and it does us
good to meet
With the man who keeps on boosting
when the
Home
Team's
Beat!
Say, you fellows in the grandstand, and
you on the bleachers, too
Stop your knocking! Go to boosting!
Help to pull the home team
through !
Always be a cheerful loser knocking
bears most bitter fruit
Through the goose eggs come a plenty,
for the
Home
Team
Root !
W. M. M.
And to think that mild-mannered
Davidson was suspended for a time for
raising a ruction on the ball field! We
live in daily expectation of hearing Rob
ertus Unglaub utter a real vociferous
"dog-gone it!"
Senor Applegate, on whom we have
been waiting and counting for some time,
has given ample evidence that he has
rounded into form. When in form Ap
plegate is some heaver cateherward. A
little ' wild at times last Sunday, he
steadied when necessary and gave a line
exhibition of pitching. We have been
compelled to work Knapp, Fox and Hag
erman rather hard so far, but with Ap
plegate in form, Farthing showing signs
of getting back into the game and Midget
Smith promising to develop in to a
phenom, we are going to quit losing sleep
over the pitcher situation and roll right
over and sweetly slumber when night
falls.
Graham is not giving satisfaction to
Rourke and will grace the bench for a
time at least. Graham has never recov
ered from, that injury to his knee and we
fear that a splendid and clean young fel
low who gave promise of being a great
pastimer is due for some other occupa
tion. And no one regrets it more than
the dopester of this department.
When George Stolid was sold by St.
Louis to Milwaukee he announced that
he would quit the game and retire to his
Nebraska farm near Cambridge. There
upon there was gloom in the, camp of the
Brewers. The other dav George took an
other think and announced that he would
report at once to Schlitztown. George
and his hit stick will strengthen the
Brewers materially.
Omstead is going to report to Denver,
which means that the slabster situation
of the Grizzles will be materially
strengthened. Omstead is a great pitch
er, all right, and he se ms always to have
something on the Antelopes.
Up to last Monday evening Des Moines
had won but thre games out of twenty
four and to think that our bunch of ath
letes gave them one of the three! Wrere it
not for the looks of the thing we'd fine
every 'Lope on the payroll for it.
WILL
MAUPIN'S
WEEKLY
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CHEERFUL COMMENT
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