PHILOSOPHY BY THE WAYSIDE
SMILE AND HUSTLE.
When your plans go all awry,
Smile and hustle,
Not a bit of use to cry.
Smile and hustle.
Waste of time to fret and scold;
Brace, and get another hold;
Meet the future brave and bold
Smile and hustle.
Some big scheme wound up in 'wreck?
Smile and hustle?
Bad luck smite you in the neck?
Smile and hustle
Be a man among big men,
Grab n hold and try again,
Spit upon your hands, and then
Smile and hustle.
When a brave man hits the bumps
Smile and hustle.
Then is when he up and humps,
Smile and hustle.
Waste of time to weep and wail,
Just forget that small word "fail,"
Don't moon 'round till von go stale
Smile and hustle.'
Everybody has bad luck.
That's the time to show your pluck,
Smile and hustle,
Say, "Hard luck, goodby to you,"
Start off on a tack that's new,
Keep straight on with purpose true.
Smile and hustle.
W. M. M. in The Commoner.
After all is said, the fact still remains
that the men who' enjoy life the most are
the men who do the most to make life
enjoyable for others. The man who has
nothing but money is a mighty lone
individual. The man who has friends
who love to meet him and who are
cheered by his companionship, is richer
than Midas ever dreamed of being.
THE OFFICE HOY SAYS.
De guy w'ot's alius growlin' about git
tin' de woist nv it is de guy dat's genrul
lv gittin' w'ot's comin' t' him.
A lot o' fellers make de mistake o'
finking' dey kin make deir peace wit'
(Jod wit'out niakin' peace wit' deir feller
men.
De harem skoit attracts jus' de kind
uv attention dat wimineu who wear dat
kind o' skoits like t' attract.
De woild owes ev'iy man a livin', but
de man has gotter keep presentin' his bill
ev'ry day .
A lot o' feller git credit f'r bein' gen-
rus by writiif letters t' de poipers.
(Soils dat trapsey de streets o' nights:
will lind demselves on de second-hand
counter. And de guy w'ot's willin' t'
take second hand goils in de matry-
monial market don't genrully amount t'
mutch demselves.
De woist trubble about booze is dat it
hurts woist de people dat don't drink it.
If you don't believe dis jus' ask de wim
min folks an' de kids.
De woist t'ing about most reformers
is dat dey start on deir woik too fur
away frum home.
David says he wus in a hurry w'en he
said dat all men is liars. Dave could a
taken his time f'r sayin' it wit'out ini
provin' much on de talk.
If here ain't do hell a lot o' fellers
won't git w'at's comin'' t' dem.
It's a dinned sight easier touchin'
some men's hearts dan it is touchin' der
pocketbooks.
W'en a man tell you dat deir is as
many chances t' git rich now as deir ever
wus, he is talkin' like I do when I lie.
Prayin' f'r de sick is all well an' good,
but de sick benefits paid by de union is
w'ot keeps t'ings movin'.
MIXED.
Father "What do you mean by being
saucy to your grandpa?"
Son "Grandpa is the meanest oF "
Father "Look here, young man; 'you
mustn't talk about my father that way. I
want you to understand that my fattier is
enough sight better than your father ever
was, and that is, I mean that I am bet
ter than my look here, young man, you
chase right olf to bed and don't let me
hear anything more from you tonight!"
THE REASON.
"I wouldn't marry the best man on
earth," remarked Miss Passay, throwing
her pointed chin a little higher in the
air."
"Of course not you couldn't," retort
ed Mrs. Nubride, who has been married
just three weeks.
MANY REASONS.
"What reasons did Codgers give for ig
noring the order of the court?"
"He gave none but he has about a hun
dred and fifty million."
"A hundred and fifty million reasons?"
"Yes. Each one preceded by a dollar
mark.
NUMEROUS.
"Is Bingerly a business man?"
"I should say so! He tends to everybody's."
DISPROVED.
Mrs. Bugleigh "It is all nonsense to
say that a woman can not keep a secret."
Mrs. Batman -"Of course it is,"
Mrs. Bugleigh "My Easter bonnet
cost $33, but Mr. Burleigh does not know
it, and I'm not going to tell him."
GOOD STORY.
When Pharaoh's daughter looked ..-id
found
Young Moses in the rushes,
She picked him up and wiped him oil'
With kisses and with blushes
At least she said she found him therv.
Though 't strikes me as a hoax ;
But, anyhow, the story went
With Pharaoh's daughter's folks.
A lot of men of ordinary abliity have
acquired a reputation for wisdom by
just knowing enough to keep still at the
right time.
A lot of silk skirts cover cheap cotton
lingerie.
The worst fooled man iii the wror!. I is
the candidate who believes every thin 'm
hears. , .
WHAT THEY ARE SEEING
AVhile the "Lincoln Boosters" are tour
ing the North Platte country, chiefly
along the lines of the Union Pacific, they
are privileged to let their eyes rest upon
a bit the finest agricultural country
lying out of doors. From Kearney to
Callaway, up the famed Wood River
valley, the "boosters" saw a. modern Gar
den of Eden. From Gothenburg to Sid
ney they saw a country just coming into
its oayii, a country ; that is. held back only
by antedulivan tax laAvs that permit the
holding of the vast tracts of fertile land
by speculators, thus depriving anxious
homeseekers of opportunities to acquire,
homes. But despite this handicap, the,
vast stretch of fertile territory west of
Kearney and included iii the Platte Val
ley, is coming into its own. Intelligent
methods of farming have taken the place
of old methods that served well enough
back east in the old days. Now the coun
try once deemed good only for grazing is
developing into a producer of agricul
tural products superior to many other
sections noted for productivity.
AN ENTERPRISING FIRM
One of the largest dispaly advertise
ments ever appearing in a daily news
paper recently appeared in the Grand
Island Independent, and was that of
Wolbach Bros., clothiers and furnishers
of that city. The advertisement, which
occupied four pages, was printed in two
colors and was displayed in the highest
style of the typographical art. It was
written and designed by C. C. Johns, the
firm's efficient ad man - and secretary
treasurer of the Nebraska Press Associa
tion. Wolbach Bros, have always been
extensive advertisers, which fact ex
plains why they are among the largest
clothiers and furnishers between Chi
cago and San Francisco. It is doubtful
if this firm's business is exceeded by that
of any firm in America doing business in
a city no larger than Grand Island;
