COMING ALONG WITH SOME REAL SPORTING DOPE
Every game sees the usual bunch of
"yellows" perched . in grandstand or
bleachers. They see a ball game lost if
a home player makes a bobble, and they
are ready to throw up their tails and quit
like a quarter horse in a seven-furlong
race the minute luck begins going against
them. These "yellows" make the real old
time" fan crazy. Your real fan is the
gazabo who can riz up on his hind legs
and holler like a Comanche Injun when
the home team is playing a losing game,
He is the d. g. sport who can give a
cheery word to the player who has just
messed things up and wish him good luck
on the next one. That's the boy that
makes a hit with the players who are do
ing their best to earn their stipends. We
always feel like taking a poke at the "yel
low," but being of a somewhat cautious
disposition we have heretofore refrained.
Some of these days, however, we may for
get ourselves and get into a whole bilin'
o' trouble. But if we do some "yellow"
will come, out of it with a shriek for ti e
ambulance.
Last Tuesday Ilerr Unglaub, than
which there is no headier, steadier play
er in ball togs, mussed up a couple, "and
immediately he got the belching of a lot
of "yellows" who just knew he was a
dead one. But Bobiculus just muttered
a few "Praise Johns," spat upon his
palms and went to it. A bit later those
same "yellows" were lauding him to the
skies.
Mr. J. Fox is a regular old plowhoss
for steadiness, and a regular Crescus for
speed when speed is necessary. And
Brer Fox is also in the immediate vicin
ity with the timely swats. In last Tues
day's game he actually batted 1,500 an
almost unheard of percentage. Of course
the know-it-all dopestears will disp. re
this percentage, but it's true, just the
same. We'll admit, however, that the
percentage is arrived at by giving Brer
Fox a little present of 500 for doing it
so gracefully.
Parson Farthing arrived on the
scene of action Tuesday and found Presi
dent Donald somewhat gruff and unre
sponsive We would regret it very
much if it became necessary to take up a
little slack in the back of the parson's
cap, but we have hinted to our check
signer, Mr. Despain, that he must put
on the stern look and assume the unyield
ing attitude. Just as soon as the parson
evidences that his salary wing is in order
we will consider having Mr. Despain re
sume cash transactions.
Losing a game and dropping from s?c-.
ond to fifth place as a result is rather
unique. That is what happened to the
Joetown bunch last Monday, when it lest
a game to the Wichitas by a score of 14 to
1. .
A JEREMIAD.
O, let me lie in the tall grass high,
By the banks of a dank bayou ;
Where winds that sigh as they pass by
Give many a dismal "who-o-."
O, lay me deep in untroubled sleep
Where the cat-tails blow and bloom;
For I wail and weep , as the long days
creep
With their gobs of grief and gloom.
O, hide it o'er the dad-binged score
That gives me the mully grubs;
I'm sad and sore and smeared with gore
Of my bally gang of dubs.
O, woe is mine, for my bunged-up nine
Has shattered my fondest hopes;
And I peak and pine for some real sun
shine And a team like the Antelopes.
From "Lugubrious Lucubrations of a
Lamentable Lobster," by Pa Rourke.
We claim that Midget Smith is the
only man on the team capable of picking
out a wild pitch for his third strike, and
not only getting away with it to the ex
tent of landing safely at first, but actual
ly bringing in two runs with it. That's
what our Fremont discovery pulled off in
the game with Omaha Wednesday.
Soo City offered to loan Harry Welch
to Des Moines recently and the offer was
declined. Is that the same Welch who
was touted as having batted .470 a year
or two ago?
As it is our duty to "O. K." the repjiir
bills we know it took 700 pounds of nail
to fasten the grandstand at Antelope
park together after last Tuesday's ses
sion with Pa Rourke's aggregation. Hd
that fateful eighth ininng lasted a few
minutes longer we would have been un
der the painful necessity of building a
new grandstand.
During the Omaha-Antelope series
Kneeland gave no evidences of being the
kind of an umpire to call for the abuse of
any real ballplayer. The attack on
Kneeland at Omaha last week was a
brutal outrage, and the Omaha players
guilty of it should have been eliminated
from base ball for a month or two. It is
said that most of the spectators who at
tempted to mob Kneeland were women.
We doubt it. They may have been
"ladies," but we hold too high an opinion
of Omaha women to believe that they
would be guilty of any such thing.
It's up to Wichita, Denver and Line ln
to put a crimp into the winning streak of
the Skoo City bunch. Cap'n Andreas ss
pulling his team too far ahead to make it
pleasant contemplation of pennant possi
bilities. Captain Jinx seems to have a hammer
lock on the Rourkefi. In the series here
this week they seemed to have a lead pipe
cinch on the games until about the last
minute, then Cap'n Jinx walked in and
laid his cold, clammy claws upon them.
We had to put three new boards in the
front of the box occupied by Pa Rourke
after that second game. He gnawed ',m
so full of holes that they threatened to
fall apart.
Herr Unglaub's experimental shift of
the batting order seems to have vindi
cated itself. Monsieur Gawnyer has been
swatting safely with commendable regu
larity of late, and Manager Bob has also
been connecting well. Then Cole, now
third up, has been going along nicely.
Anyhow, since we switched the battling
list we have pulled down a majority of
the games which makes it all right, all
right.
There is a growing feeling in Western
League circles that President Tip O'Ne.ll
isn't giving sufficient attention to league
matters, being too busy with other affairs,
chiefly that of scouting for Commie. Tf
O'Neill would spend about a week in ea-h
city in the circuit and watch his um
pires working he might make a few
changes. -
With her team in second place and only
two games behind the. leaders, Wichita
turns out 2,100 on an ideal Sunday after
noon, and on the following day, after a
win turns out less than 300. No wonder
Izzie is growing balder every day. No
visiting team has ever been compelled to
take the guarantee in Lincoln. And we'll
wager a cookie that there isn't a city in
America that supports professional ball
that averages as many paid admissions
per game as little old Lincoln, Nebraska.
Nor is there a more loyal bunch of fans
than those of Lincoln. Nor is there a
team that tries harder to keep itself in
the good graces of the game's supporters
than the Antelopes. Just take notice of
the number of games that the 'Lopes pull
out of the fire on the home grounds.
That's because the fans are there with
the rootlets harder than ever when the
'Lopes are behind. We know right where
we are going to plant that flag pole if we
win the pennant, but we are making no
pennant claims as yet. However, in con
fidence we will state that the team win
ning it away from us will have to scrap
for it in a way calculated to make ba&e
ball history.
Tis the uncertainty of the game that
makes base ball popular. Now we hand
tin cans to Denver, and Denver passes
'em on to Wichita. Then we hike down to
Wichita and are decorated with the same
old cans we handed Denver a wreek or two
before. Coises on the luck!