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About Will Maupin's weekly. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1911-1912 | View Entire Issue (May 5, 1911)
bill passed. How about the garnishee bill? That passed but was vetoed after an able argument against the bill by the legislative committee of the Federation. And how about the state printing bill? That is now a law and it vitally interests a lot of good union workingmen. And the resolution for a commission to inves tigate and report on the compensation of workiingmen? That was adopted, and certainly it is a matter of interest to or ganized workers. Organized labor was treated with marked favor by the last leg islature. THE ANVIL CHORUS Governor Savage was villified and abused to the limit because he pardoned a convicted embezzler who had served less than half of his sentence. Governor Mickey was equally abused and villified because he pardoned a woman convicted of having killed her husband, but whose guilt is doubted by thousands and whose innocence has since been declared in a suit she brought to recover on an insur ance policy held by the husband she is al leged to have killed. Governor Shallen berger was hanged in effigy for having paroled a man convicted of killing a neighbor in a quarrel over some stray stock. Governor Aldrich has just paroled a physician, who was convicted of having killed a girl by a criminal operation, the physician having served only three months of a term altogether too short if he was as guilty as the jury declared hi in to be. Now let the anvil chorus begin. Of the four executive acts cited the last strikes Will Maupin's AVeekly as being the most reprehensible, but it does not pretend to sit in judgment upon the chief executive of the state. MEASURING THE DIFFERENCE Last Monday, cold, raw, chilly and un comfortable in thirty-seven different ways, 400 fans assembled at Lincoln and saw a mighty nifty ball game, even if we did get the short end of it. On the same day just four lonesome fans sat shiver ing in the Topeka yard when time to call the game rolled around. There was no game in the Kaw town. All things considered there is just about the differ ence of 49C out of 500 between the two cities. The difference between the ball clubs will be stated a bit later in the season. PROGRESSING "Young Smarleigh lias settled down and is now in business for himself." "Things looking good for him?" "First rate." "What business is he in?" '.'He is courting Miss Lottsdo, and it looks like he had made a hit with her." PHILOSOPHY BY THE WAYSIDE GOD BLESS HIM! Here's to the man who smiles on you And gives you a cheery "howdy-do;" And falls in step when you're walking lame From the bruises met in the world's rough game; The man who gives your hand a grasp That makes old trouble fairly gasp; Who says "hello!" and "howdy-do!" And makes the world grow bright for you Here's to the man you chance to meet In busy mart or the crowded street, When you are fairly down and out And lost in niiiv of deepest doubt ; Who slaps your back and cries "hello!" With face alight with friendship's glow; Who says "hello!" and "howdy-do!" And makes life take a brighter hue. Here's to the man of big, brave heart Who dares from the crowd to step apart And lend a hand to the man who fell To the very brink of the lowest hell; Who says, "Hello! what cheer, old scout?" And helps him up to the right-about. Who says "hello!" and "howdy-do!" And starts him off on the way anew. Here's to the man unknown to fame Who loves all men and plays the game Of this life square, and scorns to make A profit big from a friend's mistake; Whose eyes light up when he comes your way And passes a pleasant time o' day; Who says "hello!" and "howdy-do!" And smiles, and gives new strength to you. Will M. Maupin, in The Commoner. Say, if we could make bets on 'our hind sight, wouldn't Ave have a bank roll? The servants who assisted Joshua on that memorable day were the original hold-up men. Nothing like being used to it to make defeat seem trivial. . The man who thinks he knows it all never fails in trying to tell it. If men voted only as they pray the election judges wouldn't be long count ing the ballots. MISQUOTED. "Say, Binks; I understand you called me a liar." "You have been misinformed. I said you were so afraid of the truth you'd go around the block to miss it." "I have often noticed," remarked Uncle Rastus, "that a lot of men worrv themselves into untimely graves over misfortunes that never happen," from. Now lie seems to be rolling in riches. What has happened?" "Three drinks." . THE REAL SPORT. Any fellow can smile who wins And the game winds up his way ; But it is only the sport who grins When he goes bump in the fray No trick at all to smile and shout When you win out in the game ; But here's to the man who, down and out; Can smile on just the same. MANY LIKE HIM. "Poor man; are you really looking for a job?" "I am, ma'm." "Well, I can help you, for I know a man who wants to employ a good strong man. He lives at 234 Splice street." "Thank'e, ma'm. I'll know what part o' town t' keep away from now." "Thank goodness!" "What for?" "For the news that the price of prunes has gone up 50 per cent. I am boarding." MEN WTE WOULD LIKE TO SMITE. The man who says "I told you so." The man who shouts, "That's just what I said would happen." "The man who says, "I said to Binks, standing right over there on that corner, that so and so and so and so and so." The man who says, "I win 'steen hun dred dollars on the results." The man who says, "I predicted the re sult, and I've never missed a perdiction yet." A couple of years ago the Gas company announced that it was out of politics. The attempt to drag it back into the arena -was dismal failure, THE CAUSE. "An hour ago Bilkins was bemoaning the fact that he was go hard up he didn't know where his next meal was coming WHO WAS THE JOKE UPON? When the Lincoln Country Club was first opened a bright young gentleman of color was employed to superintend the matter of fixing up the tall cold ones for the thirsty gentlemen returning from the links. Shortly after the opening a curi ous malady seemed to have become epi demic among those given to- occasional visits to the thirst assuaging department of the club, and malaria, overheating, ptomaine poisoning and various other explanations were given. One day the chairman of the house committee was called to one side by the colored gentle man and given the following informa tion : ". "I desiahs t' say sah, dat we is out o' mineral watah, sah, an' f ugge dat we have another supply." "What kind do you want?" queried the chairman of the committee. "O, de same kind, sah, dat I'se been usin' t' make dem Molly Taylahs an' high balls an' sich, sah." "What kind is that?" I kaint perzactly tell you de name o' de watah, sar, but it's de kind w'ot has de picture o' de red bird on de bottle, sah," was the startling and explanatory reply of the colored gentleman,