SOME VERY FINE SAMPLES OF HUMOR
The Lincoln Daily Star, which is
making the very best possible presenta
tion of a cause that it is impossible to
.present with logic and reason, asks Lin
coln voters to remember a few things
when they go to the polls next Tuesday.
Addressing the individual voter the
esteemed Star says :
"He ought to remember the tre
mendous task imposed upon this city's
friends to tic ice defeat the passage of
a capital removal bill that would hare
seriously disturbed property values
here."
"Capital removal'' was thought to be
a sandbag by representatives of the
liquor interests. It was about as danger
ous as a stocking of mush. There never
was a minute when the threat of capital
removal frightened a sensible citizen of
Lincoln, and if defeating the scheme
was a "task" the task consisted in the ef
forts of the liquor interests to make it ap
pear that there was something doing.
Kef erring to the University of Nebras
ka the esteemed Star says:
"He ought to remember that a spirit
hostile to Lincoln resulted in the paring
down or the university appropriations
some $300,000 below the figure needed to
maintain the institution adequately."
That assertion is utterly without a
basis of fact to stand upon. The LTui
versity of Nebraska has never secured
from the legislature of Nebraska all that
it really needed. The legislature of 1911
appropriated more money to the ITnivei
siy of Nebraska than at. other !egid.i
ture in the state's history. So mi:li for
that "argument'' in favor of a return, to
license.
"lie ought to remember that there wa
a spirit of hostility toward JAiuoln
which resulted in the enactment of n l ;
for the establishment of an agriculi Ural
college in the southwestern part of the
state.''
Some of the warmest advocates of the
southwestern agricultural schools are
citizens of Lincoln; others are the de
voted friends of Lincoln and anxious for
her progress and development. The
southwestern agricultural school was
established because it is needed, and its
fiercest opponents were men who attack
Lincoln bitterly at every opportunity.
Will Maupin's Weekly, which can not by
any stretch of the imagination be de
clared "hostile to Lincoln," advocated
the establishment of that school.
"He must remember that a spirit of
hostility to Lincoln, which teas absolute
ly new and unique in legislative affairs,
developed in that session of the legisla
ture which resulted in the rigid limita
tion of every appropriation for a stitc in
stitution located in Lincoln' ,
Does the esteemed Star mean to say
that it represents an element that is will
ing to deprive th.e unfortunate wards of
the state of the comfort and care to ,
which they are in all decency and hu
manity entitled, simply because Lincoln
refuses to accept that element's ideas
upon questions of excise. If the Star is
willing to admit that it is fighting the
battles of such an element, Will Mau
pin's Weekly will not for a moment un
dertake to deprive it of that glory.
"License saloons in your city or we'll
starve and freeze and neglect the unfor
tunate wards of the state now in the
state's institutions in and about Lin
coln!" Is that the ultimatum? If the
Star is proud to represent that sort of
people it certainly may have the field all
to itself so far as this humble little news
paper is concerned.
"He should remember that the dele
gation sent from this county, with one
single exception , teas wholly unable to
cope with the alarming situation pre
sented and that, on the contrary, every
effort of the Lancaster county members
in behalf of Lincoln interests simply in
creased the hostility."
Without seeking to deprive Represen
tative Eager of a single iota of credit due
him, we seize this occasion to ask the
esteemed Star to specifically point out
some one thing just one that Mr.
Eager accomplished for Lincoln that was
at all out of the ordinary. If we remem
ber rightly Mr. Eager's greatest desire -was
to secure some certain changes in the
charter. With his own vote he stood with
a "wet" majority, yet he absolutely failed
to get a single change that he wanted.
"Every voter should well consider
whether or not it is his desire to continue
and intensify hostility. If it is, he should
vote to sustain this politcul conterie re
ferred to. If it is not, he should vote to
oust it and the policy it has pursued to
make Lincoln known to the world in
derision as 'The II oly City.' "
Honestly, now, esteemed Star, where is
the "hostility to Lincoln" most manifest?
What lines of business are the men en
gaged in who are making the loudest
"holler" about Lincoln's excise policy?
Will Maupin's Weekly knows that the
loudest "knockers" on Lincoln are the
men who profit directly or indirectly
from the liquor traffic ; the men who have
been driven out of the liquor buiness in
Lincoln; the men who have been denied
the right to indulge their appetites to the
full; the beneficiaries of the "side lines"
dependent upon the license system.
It was Josh Billings, we believe, who
said : "It is better not tu kno so mutch
than tu kno so mutch that ain't so." The
esteemed Star is asking the Lincoln vot
er to hold in memory altogether too
many things that are not true.
CHEER UP!
Come now, cheer up ! The election of
Mr. Armstrong is not going to injure
Jvincoln's business; nor is, it going to
make Lincoln's prosperity unbounded.
Mr. Armstrong is a capable, successful,
enterprising and energetic man of busi
ness. Being wise in this day and genera- N
tion, and not a fool, he wrould not, if
elected mayor, sacrifice all he has built
up in Lincoln merely to play into the
hands of some faction or special inter-.
ests. me city will have a good chier
executive if Mr. Armstrong is elected
mayor. It will not go to the demnition
bow-wows if he is defeated.
Cheer up! If Robert Malone is elected'
mayor the city will go right ahead just
the same. He is a capable, honest, ener
getic and successful business man. He
will strive to do the right thing by the
city for the reason that he is honest and
the possessor of good horse sense. But if
Mr. Malone is defeated the city will not
go to the demnition bow-wows. Will
Maupin's Weekly, while having a pref
erence as between the two mayoralty
candidates, is not rendering any of its
nether garments. If we believed that the
future of Lincoln depended upon the
election of either one of these estimable
and capable gentlemen, we would be
looking around for a new location.
Frankly, and without in" the least depre
cating the abilities of the two gentlemen,
we are of the opinion that there are at
least 500 men in Lincoln quite as well
fitted as either of them for the position
as chief executive. We would feel hu
miliated in spirit if we thought other
wise. So, Mr. Voter, make your choice be
tween the two or take Mr. Oyler, the
socialist, if you prefer confident in the
knowledge that no matter which mayor
alty candidate is successful, Lincoln is
going to keep right on growing and pros
pering. Lincoln's affairs will be safe in
the hands of either, because the people
are, after all, supreme.
"KNOCKER" VS. "KICKER'
Will Maupin's Weekly boasts that it
is never a knocker. Carried to its logical
conclusions this means that Will is satis
fled with everything that occurs or ex
ists, and is willing it should remain so.
This is an absurdity. He may to a cer
tain extent refrain from putting his dis
likes into his WTeekly, but he has them
just the same. Lauding good is in a svMise
knocking evil. It is just as essential to
point out evil as it is to suggest and ad
vise good. We venture the statement
that Christ used ten words condemning
the sinner where he used one to justify
the righteous. The fault of knocking lies
altogether in the manner of knocking. To
knock on a grouchy, pessimistic spirit is
repugnant; to knock in a suggestive opti
mistic spirit is admissable and advisable.
Minden Courier.
We opine that Bred Richmond fails to
differentiate between the "knovker" and
the "kicker." Will Maupins Weekly,
proudly boasts ihat it never "knocks,"
but as a "kicker" it has well developed
muscles. The "knocker" sits around and
wliinej and criticises, The "kickers,"
