PHILOSOPHY B
The easiest thing in the world is to sit
around and "knock" on the men who are
trying to accomplish something.
Just because there are hypocrits in the
church is no reason why you should not
be a Christian. There are more hypo
crits outside of the church than in.
When we say of a man that "he is his
own worst enemy" we usually mean that
he hasn't got sense enough to do his duty
to himself.
If a man agrees with us about politcs
and religion we are pretty apt to over
look whatever faults he may possess.
Baalam's ass opened its mouth and
spake.
It was to grumble.
Since that day all the asses have been
grumbling.
YOU CAN TRUST HIM.
The man that readily gains the con
fidence of babies and dogs.
The man who is chary of advice and
quick to help.
The man who never forgets that his
mother was a woman.
The man would rather give a flowei
to a sick friend than to scatter a whole
hot house's contents over his grave.
The boy who is not afraid of being
accused of being "tied to his mother's
apronstrings."
The boy who tries to keep his mouth
as clean as his mother would have bun
keep his hands.
Perhaps you have noticed it that
whenever a man wants to excuse himself
for working little boys and girls he a I
ways begins telling how early in life he
had to go to work, and how hard he had
to hustle.
If the man had any heart and told the
truth, wouldn't you naturally think he
would hesitate to make the little one's
miss their childhood?
A pessimist is a man who thinks that
the worst is yet to come.
An optimist is a man who don't give a
darn how soon the worst happens, just so
it does not happen to him.
r THE WAYSIDE
"You fool," exclaimed the exasperated
owner, "you complain of your feed when
I. give you sweet alfalfa hay. Why, your
father was content to live on weeds and
thistles."
"I know that,? retorted the mule; "but
my father was a jackass."-
THE FRIEND.
Here's to the - man with the handshake
; i, 'true,. . - .: 3 :.,t
And the friendship that you know's true
'3 blue, :
Through thick and thin will stand by
you l
God bless him! -
Here's to the man with the friendship
stout
Who, when all others are put to rout,
Will stand by you when you're down and
out J
God bless him.
. .. . mmmmi
But as for the man who passes by .
With hands in pockets and downcast eye
When you to the brink of ruin draw
nigh
w f !
TWO MEN.
He waxed rich because he exploited the
toil of little children and hopeless
- women. He reached high place by walk
ing upon the prostrate bodies of weaker
men. And people called him .successful.
Another man shared his meagre, earn
ing with his less fortunate, fellows. Fie
caused little children to smile and hope
less womanhood to look with, brighter
eyes to the future. He remained poor and
obscure because he would not take ad:
vantage of his neighbors. And p ple
called him a failure.
However, God may render differert
, verdicts when the time comes. j
OLD SAWS RESHARPENED.
A bird on the hat means one less in the
bush. ,
A stich in. time may prevent an enJiir
rassing catastrophe.
A fool with money is soon spotted.
As remarked in the beginning, the sub
tleties of the judicial mind are not to be
fathomed by the average man.
A demented man was recently found
wandering about the streets of Cleveland,
O., with $200,000 in his pockets. Turn us
loose in any city with that amount of
money in our pockets and we'd be worse
than merely demented. We'd be abso
lutely and undeniably crazy.
A Methodist minister assigned to a
small town in Illinois by his bishop, early
discovered that he could not live honestly
upon the salary paid by his congregation.
As he would not live dishonestly he
sought and found work in the village
barbershop, where he made good on the
"first chair." Another man, not a minister
has just closed a contract to pitch for
the Washington baseball for three years
for the lump sum of $21,000, or $7,000
a year, and he works less than six months
a year. By working every fourth or fifth
day for six months in the year, this base
ball pitcher draws down more money
than sixteen times the wage of the aver
age American preacher. Yet there are
those who wonder why the ministry does
not appeal to more men, and why base
ball appeals to so many.
Paris humorists have established a co
operative paper. If all the men in this
section who think they are humorists
would put up a dollar a year each, they
could keep a pretty sizeable paper go
ing on the subscription money alone. An
other Paris paper will devote a page to
the "grumblers." Over here we would call
them 'knockers.' And if all our
"knockers" were to get busy and contrib
ute regularly to any one paper, it would
have to issue in from three to twenty
eight page sections every day to avoid an
accumulation of "copy" that would soon
fill up all the available space between the
basement floor and the roof.
The rejoicing of democratic democrats,
over the triumph of last fall will be some
what tempered by the selection of Sena
tor Martin of Virginia as leader of the
democratic minority in the senate. Mar
tin is just as good a democrat as former
Senator Aldrich, and no better. He voted
with Aldrich on the tariff bill almost as
often as he voted with his democratic col
leagues. He is a reactionary, utterly out
of sympathy with the reforms the people
are demanding and which they will se
cure in spite of the opposition of such as
Martin and wholly in line with the
predatory interests.
Elbert Hubbard would make divorce
easy. In fact he would make divorce un
necessary by making marriage a mere
agreement to be broken at convenince.
It must be said of Hubbard's argument
that he believes in it to the extent that he
practices what he preaches, so far as law
will allow,
The fool curses his ill-luck. The wise
man profits by his failures.
' The approval of one's conscience is not
always an infallible guide. A conscience
is a mighty easy thing to train.
When a man looks for an excuse he
doesn't need his spectacles.
ANCESTRAL NOTE.
Every hear a man declare that he is a
republican because his father was? Or
some other men declare he is a democrat
because his father was?
Every time we hear such. a statement
we are reminded of the story of the mule.
A mule complained bitterly to its own
er that it was being --worked, too hard and
given too little to eat. .
SOLOMON.
They say that Solomon was wise
The wisest of the ages
The very top-notch kingpin of -
Philosophers and sages.
But when he took three hundred wives
Into his life to share it, -It
strikes me that old Solomon
Had buglets in his garret.
But when a thousand concubines
With all those wives were listed, '
It is a cinchold Solomon's ;
Think factory was twisted. 5
They calkjiim wise! He was a. fool j
And ne'er from serfdom fell free; ; :
No man is wise urittr such a bunch
Of batlets in Ms belfry. r - r
