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About Will Maupin's weekly. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1911-1912 | View Entire Issue (April 21, 1911)
PHILOSOPHY B The easiest thing in the world is to sit around and "knock" on the men who are trying to accomplish something. Just because there are hypocrits in the church is no reason why you should not be a Christian. There are more hypo crits outside of the church than in. When we say of a man that "he is his own worst enemy" we usually mean that he hasn't got sense enough to do his duty to himself. If a man agrees with us about politcs and religion we are pretty apt to over look whatever faults he may possess. Baalam's ass opened its mouth and spake. It was to grumble. Since that day all the asses have been grumbling. YOU CAN TRUST HIM. The man that readily gains the con fidence of babies and dogs. The man who is chary of advice and quick to help. The man who never forgets that his mother was a woman. The man would rather give a flowei to a sick friend than to scatter a whole hot house's contents over his grave. The boy who is not afraid of being accused of being "tied to his mother's apronstrings." The boy who tries to keep his mouth as clean as his mother would have bun keep his hands. Perhaps you have noticed it that whenever a man wants to excuse himself for working little boys and girls he a I ways begins telling how early in life he had to go to work, and how hard he had to hustle. If the man had any heart and told the truth, wouldn't you naturally think he would hesitate to make the little one's miss their childhood? A pessimist is a man who thinks that the worst is yet to come. An optimist is a man who don't give a darn how soon the worst happens, just so it does not happen to him. r THE WAYSIDE "You fool," exclaimed the exasperated owner, "you complain of your feed when I. give you sweet alfalfa hay. Why, your father was content to live on weeds and thistles." "I know that,? retorted the mule; "but my father was a jackass."- THE FRIEND. Here's to the - man with the handshake ; i, 'true,. . - .: 3 :.,t And the friendship that you know's true '3 blue, : Through thick and thin will stand by you l God bless him! - Here's to the man with the friendship stout Who, when all others are put to rout, Will stand by you when you're down and out J God bless him. . .. . mmmmi But as for the man who passes by . With hands in pockets and downcast eye When you to the brink of ruin draw nigh w f ! TWO MEN. He waxed rich because he exploited the toil of little children and hopeless - women. He reached high place by walk ing upon the prostrate bodies of weaker men. And people called him .successful. Another man shared his meagre, earn ing with his less fortunate, fellows. Fie caused little children to smile and hope less womanhood to look with, brighter eyes to the future. He remained poor and obscure because he would not take ad: vantage of his neighbors. And p ple called him a failure. However, God may render differert , verdicts when the time comes. j OLD SAWS RESHARPENED. A bird on the hat means one less in the bush. , A stich in. time may prevent an enJiir rassing catastrophe. A fool with money is soon spotted. As remarked in the beginning, the sub tleties of the judicial mind are not to be fathomed by the average man. A demented man was recently found wandering about the streets of Cleveland, O., with $200,000 in his pockets. Turn us loose in any city with that amount of money in our pockets and we'd be worse than merely demented. We'd be abso lutely and undeniably crazy. A Methodist minister assigned to a small town in Illinois by his bishop, early discovered that he could not live honestly upon the salary paid by his congregation. As he would not live dishonestly he sought and found work in the village barbershop, where he made good on the "first chair." Another man, not a minister has just closed a contract to pitch for the Washington baseball for three years for the lump sum of $21,000, or $7,000 a year, and he works less than six months a year. By working every fourth or fifth day for six months in the year, this base ball pitcher draws down more money than sixteen times the wage of the aver age American preacher. Yet there are those who wonder why the ministry does not appeal to more men, and why base ball appeals to so many. Paris humorists have established a co operative paper. If all the men in this section who think they are humorists would put up a dollar a year each, they could keep a pretty sizeable paper go ing on the subscription money alone. An other Paris paper will devote a page to the "grumblers." Over here we would call them 'knockers.' And if all our "knockers" were to get busy and contrib ute regularly to any one paper, it would have to issue in from three to twenty eight page sections every day to avoid an accumulation of "copy" that would soon fill up all the available space between the basement floor and the roof. The rejoicing of democratic democrats, over the triumph of last fall will be some what tempered by the selection of Sena tor Martin of Virginia as leader of the democratic minority in the senate. Mar tin is just as good a democrat as former Senator Aldrich, and no better. He voted with Aldrich on the tariff bill almost as often as he voted with his democratic col leagues. He is a reactionary, utterly out of sympathy with the reforms the people are demanding and which they will se cure in spite of the opposition of such as Martin and wholly in line with the predatory interests. Elbert Hubbard would make divorce easy. In fact he would make divorce un necessary by making marriage a mere agreement to be broken at convenince. It must be said of Hubbard's argument that he believes in it to the extent that he practices what he preaches, so far as law will allow, The fool curses his ill-luck. The wise man profits by his failures. ' The approval of one's conscience is not always an infallible guide. A conscience is a mighty easy thing to train. When a man looks for an excuse he doesn't need his spectacles. ANCESTRAL NOTE. Every hear a man declare that he is a republican because his father was? Or some other men declare he is a democrat because his father was? Every time we hear such. a statement we are reminded of the story of the mule. A mule complained bitterly to its own er that it was being --worked, too hard and given too little to eat. . SOLOMON. They say that Solomon was wise The wisest of the ages The very top-notch kingpin of - Philosophers and sages. But when he took three hundred wives Into his life to share it, -It strikes me that old Solomon Had buglets in his garret. But when a thousand concubines With all those wives were listed, ' It is a cinchold Solomon's ; Think factory was twisted. 5 They calkjiim wise! He was a. fool j And ne'er from serfdom fell free; ; : No man is wise urittr such a bunch Of batlets in Ms belfry. r - r