WILL MAUPIN'S WEEKLY THE WAGEWORKER WILL M. MAUPIN, Editor Published Weekly at Lincoln, Nebraska, by The Wag eworker Published Company. "Entered as second-class matter February 3, 191 1, at the post office at Lincoln, Nebraska, under the Act of March 3, 1879." POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENTS. For Exciseman. I hereby announce myself as a candidate for the nomination for member of the ex cise board, subject to the decision of the republican primaries. FRED KIND. For Water Commissioner. I hereby announce myself as a candidate for the nomination for water and light com missioner, subject to the decision of the re publican primaries. O. M. RUDY. For Water Commissioner I hereby announce myself as a candidate for the nomination for the office of water commissioner, subject to the republican primaries. If nominated and elected I pledge a square deal to all, without fear or favor P. B. S PRAGUE. For City Attorney. I hereby announce my candidacy for the nomination for the office of city attorney, subject to the republican primaries. FRED C. FOSTER For City Engineer. I hereby announce myself as a candidate for re-nomination to the office of city engi neer, subject to the republican primaries. ADNA DOBSON. L. C Pace. Is a candidate for councilman at the pri maries in the Sixth ward. SHORT ARM JOLTS As usual sentiment seems to be divided on the harem skirt. .The Washington legislature has adjourn ed. How did they do it? Naturally this telephone merger propo sition is creating a lot of talk. Without the recall we object to extending the terms of office of any public official. Did anybody expect Japan to admit that she was trying to mooch a coaling staion on us? It seems that Mr. Cochrane is also one upon whom the office persists in thrusting itself. Richmond Pierson Hobson is now repeat ing his "I told you so," without any evi dences of stuttering. In the matter of election frauds Omaha is adjudged not guilty, but warned that if ever she does it again she'll be spanked with force and expedition. You know Nebraska is the best state in the union. Now let's all make it our busi ness to tell that great truth to all the world. There's a room and a weleome in Nebraska for about a million industrious home build ers. Let's go after them right away! If all we hear of Omaha is true, why all that trouble about settling her waterworks question? We greatly fear that Representative Randall of Texas is in contempt of one Joseph W. Bailey. Nebraska wheat is looking fine, and wc are not worrying a bit over the appearance of any war clouds. Nebraska is the best agricultural state in the union. The trouble is that Nebraska isn't telling anybody about it. The proposition to tatto married women goes only half way. What's the matter with putting a brand on married men? The men who are making Nebraska are the men who should have the most to say about how Nebraska should be made. Illinois is going to prohibit the harem skirt by law. Just as if that would stop the women if they take a notion to wear 'em. Some of these days, maybe, Nebraska will elect a legislature that knows the dif ference between economy and parsimony. And to think that the members of the house and senate sifting committees have, to do all that work for a measely $5 a day ! Perhaps the expenses of the postoffice department could be greatly reduced by limiting the amount of red tape consumed. The next time Bailey resigns he won't. He was almost frightened to death beforo he succeeded in getting the first resignation back. If Senator Skiles and Senator Bartos really -want to settle it without wasting the state's valuable time, we'll clear the base ment of our office and let them go to it. Somebody is overlooking a bet. We haven't yet been informed that all of Mexi co's troubles today are directly due to the fact that Mexico is on a bimetallic basis. If President Taft runs short of language, while on those southern golf links, we know a lot of western progressive republicans who can supply him with an unlimited vo cabulary. Of course France is interested in this United States-Mexico deal. Something like forty years ago France and Uncle Sam had a little deal on concerning Mexico, and France hasn't forgotten it. It took the supreme court of ' the United States quite a while to explain to us the difference between the constitutionality of the corporation tax law and the unconstitu tionality of the income tax law. Edgar Howard wants Uncle Sam to ac quire Mexico so that bull fighting may be suppressed. Uncle Sam, however, will wait until he suppresses a tfew little things before he takes on any more clean-up jobs. The' white slave traffic, prize fighting, cours ing meets, sweat shopping, and kindred evils. ..,..-. Politics is a funny game. A few months ago a lot of "drys" were kicking because "wets" went over into their primary, now they are quite sure it is proper for them to play the same game to their own advan tage. . .... . If we are to be excited to any sort of frenzy over that Mexican situation its pro motors will have to get busy before the baseball season opens. After that time we'll be too busy to fool with such little matters. Col Roosevelt is hovering around the Mexican border. But if he thinks he can rough rider his way back to Washington he has another guess coming. There will be no Kettle Hill stunts if ever Uncle Sam goes after Diaz. The sixteen million "acres of untitled Ne braska land would be eagerly sought after by home builders if Nebraska would only make known the fact that she has that much land of that description ready for use and occupancy. Pass that publicity bill! A liquor firm in Kentucky sends a sou venir jug with every order for its product, and a line on the jug says: "Try me once and you will use me again." Correct. And try it often enough and you will find your self incapable of using anything else. WILL MAUPIN'S WEEKLY A JOURNAL Of CHEERFUL COMMENT Dollar A Year Fifty-two doses of Nebraska Opti mism a dose a week for a whole year. Send the Dollar to Will Maupin's Weekly, Lincoln, Nebraska. P. S. Send the Dollar Today. Printing of Every Description Promptly Performed THE WAGEWORKER PRINTERY, 1705 "O" Auto 2748 - The Good Kind