state as he is for the prosperity of Lincoln.
As Nebraska prospers, so Lincoln prospers.
As Nebraska loses, so Lincoln loses. Let
us all work together for Nebraska.
The probability of securing any legislation
regulartory of the stock yards at this session
seem remote. This is a subject that comes
up every time the legislature meets, and as
usual there is a diversity of opinion as to
the merits of the- question. Time was when
it was not unusual to introduce stringent
regulatory bills for the mere purpose of
holding them up and at the same time
holding up the stock yards company.. No
one has dared to hint that any such motive
was behind the bill two years ago, or the
Ollis bill this year. Perhaps the Union Stock
Yards Company at South Omaha is making
a rather big profit but the company is also
making a mighty good market for Nebraska
livestock. And we doubt if the average cor
poration during the last five years has made
as much profit on its investment as the aver
age Nebraska farmer made on his.
JUST INCIDENTAL AND ACCIDENTAL
Being Merely Little Quips and Jests About People You Know. Mostly Sent in over the Phone
But a Few Evolved from Dreams and Visions. . . . . . . . . . .
Two years ago the legislature appropriat
ed $40,000 for the expenses of making a phy
sical valuation of the railroads. A small
army of well-paid people have seen to it that
the money was expended but although al
most if not quite eighteen months have
elapsed since the work began, no report has
been submitted and now comes the proposi
tion to appropriate some more money and
enlarge the work of the board. A well
managed corporation could have made the
valuation in half the time already consumed,
and well within the amount appropriated
for the purpose.
The Lincoln charter bill went through
the senate last Wednesday. It is mere
ly patching up an old charter because a
lot of public-spirited gentlemen fiddled along
for two years trying to frame a really good
charter and didn't get to. first base with the
work. Because of this Lincoln will have to
worry along with an archaic makeshift for
at least two years more. One of the im
portant ' changes in the charter is increas
ing the salary of the mayor from $1,000 a
year to $2,500 a year. The change is a
good one. The editor of Will Maupin's
Weekly may yet. take a notion to run for
mayor of Lincoln on a platform of his own
framing and adoption. He might not poll
a vote, but he would have the satisfaction
of knowing that he had given Lincoln voters
the opportunity of a life-time to vote for a
mayoralty candidate who thinks that men
should be elected to municipal office for
some other reason than that they hold cer
tain views on questions that have about as
much place in politics as a prohibitionist has
for traveling for. a wholesale whisky house.
The lower branch of the legislature con
tinues to discuss the initiative and referen
dum bill, , thus giving self-appointed guar
dians of the palladium of our sacred liber
ties an opportunity to stand between the
people and the desire of the people to knock
the tar out of their own liberties. A rather
involved statement of the situation, to be
sure, but descriptive, just the same. A lot
of eminent statesmen seem heartily in favor
of the initative and referendum if only it is
not enacted into law. . .
A Serious Problem Now
Will Maupin's Weekly made its appear
ance last week. This is a "weekly journal
of cheerful comment" and is characteristic
of' its 'publisher, -who-is -a good writer arid
of'a Rumbrous. bent. Albion" Weekly News;
Going Some.
Colonel Murray of the Beatrice Creamery
loves a good negro story, and can tell them
with all the unction of true southerner. Here
is his latest : ' .
"A couple of negro section hands were
working away one day when they were
joined by a new hand who' had a 'bad face.'
An hour or two later the new negrp had
picked a quarrel, and pulling a gun began
shooting. The other two men fled for cover
and having reached it in safety, one said to
the other: '
"'Did yo'-all hear dat las' bullet?'
" 'Ah done heerd it twict,' said the other.
" 'How-cum you t' heah dat bullet twict,
nigger?' asked the first one.
" 'Huh ! Ah done hca'd it de fust time
when it passed me, an' de second time when
Ah dun passed it,' was the convincing re
ply." -
Misjudged.
Hugh McVicker, telegraph editor of the
Journal, is one of the mildest of men, but
despite this fact there are several young
ladies in Lincoln who imagine he is a villain
of the deepest dye. This is how it hap
pened :
A few nights since a little crowd of uni
versity girls were escorted through the
Journal shop by a chaperone, the idea of the
visit being to learn something about the
modus operandi of getting out a morning
newspaper. Just as the visitors reached the
-door of the telegraph room they heard Mc-,
Vicker giving some instructions to the
make-up.
"Kill Bertha Liebecke, put a slughead on
Lorimer, bury Sheehan somewhere and hold
till we get that lynching," shouted McVicker.-
"Dropped a man three stories a
while ago, will have to hold open till we hear
from him. I'll cut' Cannon and Clark . to the
bone and you'd better "
But the university girls fled with a chorus
of shrieks, anxious to get away from sight
and sound of such a bloodthirsty monster.
Sarcastic.
George Kline, city editor of the Star, pos
sesses a bunch of hair that Eli Perkins would
have designated as "Syracuse," because
"Syracuse is five stations the other side of
Auburn." A few days ago a friend made a
joking reference to the color of Kline's hair
and the newspaper man said:
"That's all right, but don't forget that
George Washington's hair was red, too."
"Huh!" snorted the friend. "ThatV the
only similarity between you and .Washing
ton, I guess."
' Mixed Up. " ' .
"I've been taking stock of some queer
things in my business," said Eddie Wait the
other day. "I've a customer named G. Sharp .
who lives in a flat and another one-named
Bass who sings second tenor-in a male quar
tet A "traveling salesman who calls on m'd
four times a, year ,1$-; named Horn, ...but he
ony "plays the flute andse'lls pianos. Cat--
gut strings are not made from the intestines
of felines, but of sheep; and the phono
graph is not a musical instrument, but the
reproducer of music made by musical in
struments. Saxhorns 'and Saxophones are
not indigenous to Saxony, and " .
But just then a possible purchaser of a
piano hove in sight and Walt forgot all
else. ,
Shades of McKinley
The "American Economist," owned, con-,
trolled and paid for by the beneficiaries of
a robber protective tariff, shrieks : "Reci
procity is but another name for free trade."
Shades of William McKinley !
"Reciprocity means the downfall of pro
tection unless the men of sanity and sense
in the republican party shall call a, halt!"
shrieks the subsidized organ of the tariff '
grabbers.
Protection, according to the "American
Economist," means one Carnegie and a
couple of hundred thousand . of ill-paid for
eigners in the steel mills, while American
born workmen walk the streets; it means
one Rockefeller and a few hundred men and
women working ten or twelve hours a day
for a wage barely sufficient to ward off
starvation ; it means a place by the seashore
and a thousand noisome tenements in disease-ridden
sections of the big cities; it
means a summer resort for one in Florida
and starvation and freezing for tens of thou-
oaiius in nit luiu iiui Lii. -
The men of "sense and sanity," in the re
publican party see this, and they are acting
accordingly. The creatures , of special in-
graft those are the men who trying to
steer the republican party upon the rocks;
Sunday Closing
Of course the Lincoln postoffice should,
be closed on Sunday. That is, so far as
the distribution of mail to citizens is con
cerned. There is no more reason why the
postoffice should be open for an hour on
Sunday than there is why the banks, or
the dry goods stores, or the groceries,
should be . open for an hour on that day.
The people who get their mail on Sunday
are not, as a rule, people whose business
is of such importance as to demand imme
diate attention. The big business and com
mercial institutions can wait until the Mon
day morning delivery. If it is important :
to get your mail on Sunday, rent a lockbox.
The postoffice clerks are entitled to" a day's
rest. Will Maupin's Weekly has often no
ticed that a large percentage of the Sunday .
mail . getters a re church members who
hasten away, from services in order to get
to the postoffice before 1 o'clock. ' Post
master Sizer should take the matter in hand
and simply announce, that hereafter , there,
will.. he..1no .mail delivery at .the ..windows,.
That 'will settle it,-and he will Kavelhe. en
dorsement oi ..nine-tenths .of. the people.
