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THE NEBRAbKA
INDEPENDENT.
January 4, 1C00.
6
77"
njTjTjvxruii.TLn.riri"iii,ii-- '
UNCLE SNOWBALL.
TrraoaaJ ItekollrkanaBa"
Army Cook Who Viewed lb
War from lb Rear.
All rnewela U cussld. De most of dem
to cussider dun de udders. Caliber OS
wuz fur arid away de cufcaideat one ob de
ball lot. Ue could turn Juek fur de ud
ders, and gib dem high and. low, and y it
beat dem out ob de game of cusldnes
ebbery time. I don't believe In menu-lea
a a jineral rule, and yit It wuz allur a
meracle to me how much cussiduebi
could be crammed Into one mewel'a
bide widdout twcUin' him bigger'n a
balloon. '
Moat ob de time Caliber 63'd be ao
patient and good and inneraunt dat
V4 lub him like a brudder. He'd tote
bbery t'lng I could pile onto him and
mi on top all day widdout a grunt, and
trot erlong at de head ob de colyum, ao's
rU be de fust one inter camp when we'd
top, and hab Mistub Joe'a sup poll
ready fob him afore anybody else's.
He'd be hongrier'n a meat ax fob corn
and hay, and yit wag his little paint-
brash tail like a dog's when I'd tote
him an arm load ob cottonwood brush
fob his suppeh. He'd flop eround dtm
addlebng ears ob bis'n in a pleased,
'a HMDWiy"-
AW
i k
ie 4
MG AN' CAUD10R 5.
thankful way, e if I'd bnuig him de
heist fodder tlnr wuz in Vlrgiuny, and
deta jjreiit big, otl, litmblike eyes ob
his'nM turn on mceieif he'd wiy: "Ton's
a jewel uml uiy hot friend. 1 nebber
kin lub you cnuf."
But u'ler tie fcurgecw luu fixed up my
boiles free or four tiniets, 1 lamed, iu
bitterin'KH ob lu-jirt, tint when he looker!
'at me Out iv-tvay I'd better keep a niile
from his heels, and hub a big dub
handy.
For diiys ufore we nnwlc dat forced
night niarcb t'ruiigh iSnli-ker's Clap lull
head off de rebels from Washington,
Caliber G5 had been so awful good dat
1 wuz fikeercd. 1 ktiowed lie, wwe layin'
fur sutufln, but whut dat numliu wuz
I couldn't guess. ' Dat wuz de dumb
fuKootion ob it. Yon nebber could tell
when and whnr he'd breok out. He
wuz cuuninger dan a Kheep-kiliin' dog.
I hit night eblierybody and ebbery
thing wus; u-pilin through Snicker's
'Jap ez if d world wuz comln' tub on
end. It wuz "Forward I Forward!
0.uick timel I)ouble-iniekl" ebbery
luimiit wid men and teams and can
nous. I wuz ridln' on Caliber 05, on
top ob a hull lot ob cmnp truck, und he
wuz doiu jest splendid. I wuz ahead,
ob ebberylmdy else, jest behind de reur
ob de regiment, and in front ob de urn
bulauees and company wagons. We'd
' dun come tub dat place you'll reineui
ler whor it's a steep rock all de way
down on one side, and a steep cliiT
straight up on dc udder, wid only room
enuf foh de roud. Dor's only one sich
place in de gap, and ebbery body knows
it De night w uz rz dark ez pitch, und
Caliber t:S had nebber been dar afore
in his life, but dnt bli turned fool sraart-lu-sH
a nirwt 1 has told him dr wuz his
chance. 1 done felt Mm sot hiB fore
legs down solid and stiff, nud stop. My
hair rir., fur I knowed what wuz com
ln'. Dc uuibulunee driver run into us, but
Caliber C5 nigh kicked the head offen
bofe his horses in two sweeps, widdout
budgin his forefeet tiiore.'n if dey'd
growed dnr.
, "Co ahead Our, you mullet-headed son
of a Scnegiimbian slush-biler. wid your
measly, inump-faced niewel," swore de
ambulance driver. De fust thing dat I
could lay my hutuls on wuz de frying
pan. 1 pulled it out nnd begin Inrrupin
Caliler 6S ober his bend. I knowed
It'd be no use toward mot in him till he
got ready, but it relieved my feelings.
De udder ambulance bumped into de
. head one, and he swore wnss dun de ud
ders, ez wuz his priv ilege. De company
wagons bumped into the headquarters'
wagon, but dcy didn't dnre to tub curs
de headquarters' teumster ez dey want
ed tub, but took it out on one anudder.
De wagon master he cum up, and swore
wuss dan all ob dem put tugedder,
which wuz hi right.
He wnntcd to git at me, and frow de
inewel and me ober de cliff into de gully
below, but de road wuz so narrow he
couldn't pass de Wgotia, and had tub
take it out In swenrin.
Den de aids begin tub come up. wid:
"De ginerul's compliments, and what de
bell't de matter?"
Dey talked ob doin all sorts ob nwful
things. Borne wanted tnh send n com
pany through de woods on de uddur
aide, so's tuh shoot acrost and kill de
mule. Some wanted tuh send men tin
on top ob de bill tuh heave rocks down
and smash bim. None ob dem talked ob
Uppln' up behind de inewel. Dey'd bin
too long In de army foh dat. Caliber
M' heels kept de ground In de renr
clear ob all eomrre. Nobody seemed
tub keer a fleeter what huppened tub
de culled gentleman on de mawel while
dey wuz a-killln him. Dar wuz too many
niggers round de army, anyhow. One
wouldn't be miBsed.
After a couple hours I'd quit poundin
Caliber C5 wid de frjin pan, 'katie 1 wuz
done tired out and'd settled down dat I
wuz tuh die somehow, and dat very
soon, when suddenly, ez if he'd jest
thought ob it, he picked up his fore feet
and went trottin erlong ez if be wuz in
ez big a hurry ez anybody else tub save
Washington from de rebels.
Eberrybody wuz too tired dat night
when we got tub camp tuh kill de
mewel and me, ezdey wanted tnh. De
next vday dey had a power ob udder
things tuh think erbout more Im
portant dan all de mewela and all de
niggers dis side ob Kingdom Come.
National Tribune.
BATTLE OF CHICKAMAUGA.
It Brought Disaster t'poa tho
Maa'a Ho Pea an
Urn Roost.
Old
I stopped at the farmhouse on the
battlefield of Chickamauga and asked
the old farmer sitting on the doorstep
if be lived there when the battle was
fought and could give me any particu
lars about it.
"Yea, sab lived right yere," be re
plied as be stood up, "and 1 shall never
forgit that fout. When I got up in the
niawnin' and when out to milk 1 seen
about 1,000,000 Yankee soldiers around."
"Thar was 4,000,000 of 'em, Samuel,"
corrected his wife.
"Yes, 4,000,000. sah, and they had
guns and swords and was powerful mud
about suthin', I was lookin' around for
the cow when a monstrously powerful
glneral rode up to rue and axed if they
might hev a fout on my land. I told
him I'd see the ole woman and let him
know."
"And I said I reckoned they mougbt.
If they'd be keerful of the garden sa'ss
and not let the pigs out," added the
woman. ,
"Yes, that's what you said," con
tinued the husband, "and when I went
out to feed the hawgs I told the gineral
so. lie seemed powerful pleased about
it and said he wouldn't forgit my kind
ness, I wns feedin' the calf when an
other monstrouMly powerful gineral
rode up and wanted to know if he could
git some brenkfant, I told him I'd see
the ole woman and let him know."
"And I Enid he could if he paid fur it,"
put !n the wife,
"Yes, that's exactly what you mid,
Hanner, and 1 went out and told him so
lie smiled nnd bowed and made his hoss
prunce around, and bimeby he cum in.
He ate six Itaters, three slices of fried
pork and a monstrous sight of bread
and butter. , I axed him if he was mud
ut Hie con feds, and be said he was. I
axed him why, and he said he'd dun for
gol, but was mad all over jest the same
and was bound to give 'em down the
ken try. J told him it was again the
Itible'to fight."
"So did 1," added the wife.
"Yes, I remember you told him so,
and he didn't deny it. He was jest goin'
to pay fur his breakfast when another
monstrously powerful gineral rode up
aud axes fur me and wants to know if
he kin fout on my land. He was a con
fed, and he was bustin' mod. I told him
I'd see the ole woman about it and let
bim know."
"And I says he kin fout if he didn't
tip over the rain bar'l or break down
the plum trees."
"Thut's what you said. Hanner,, and
I'll swear to it, and the Yankee was so
npsot that. he went away and didn't pay
fur bin breakfaRt, Then the confed Raid
he wns hungry, and he ate five 'taters,
"WHY, WHAT Alt' TO' LeOOKIN' KI R.
STRANGER?"
fo' slices of fried pork and heaps and
heaps of bread and butter. I axed bim
whut he was mad at, and he said them
dratted Yanks had stole bis feather
bed. I told him it was ugin the llible to
fout, but be didn't keer shucks. He was
entin' away when a man steps in nnd
says the fout was ready to be fitlrn,
and the monstrously powerful gineral
hurries out and don't pay fur his break
fast." ."
"But 1 told yo' to go arter him," said
the wife.
"Yes, Hanner, you did, and I went
along; but jest then- the fout begun.
Sakes alive, but I never wont to see an
other sich timel"
"What did you sve?" I asked.
"Why, the awfulest, powerfulest
sights in the world, sah. They tore
down the hogpen, upsot the hen roost,
wrecked the mewl shed and tramped
all my garden sass into the airth, and If
I hadn't stood right thur' with a club
they'd hev stole all our soft snap nnd
hard cider.r
"And is that all?"
"Is that all? Why. what ar' yo look
In fur, stranger? Mebbe yo'd druther
sumbody else would tell yo about this
fout sumbody who wasn't yere!"
"Yes, mebbe be'd druther P added
the wife, as I started for the gate
Chicago Evening News.
LULLS IN BATTLE.
Dariaff th Hottest EnBgemeat of
the Civil War Tbere Came Mo
' naents of Quiet. ,
"When we enlisted in April, 1861,"
said the captain, "our company be
lieved in some way nut understood and
not to be explained we would march
immediately with the rest of our di
vision to fcome selected tpot and light
a battle with the confederates, and that
when this bad been st aled to our sat
isfactiou we should fight another and
another until the end of three mouths,
when, with a score of victories to our
credit, we would march home in tri
umph. "A a matter of fact the three months
expired before we ilred a gun, and our
first real battle came upon us after
11 months' seasoning In marches and
skirmishes. 'After a leisurely march
across Kentucky and Tennessee, with
some experiences that made us believe
ourselves invincible, we plunged, with
slight warning, into the battle of Shi
lob. It was like being caught in a
cyclone, bewildering and terrifying,
but in blind obedience we did what
was expected of us, and at the end
waited for the next baUle, which we
believed would follow quick on the
heels of the first. But there came a
lull in which officers and men relaxed,
and la which tlhe army took what the
boys called picnic excursions after an
enemy that evaded us. Then in the
course of six months we engaged in
a foot race with Bragg's army back
across Tennessee and Kentucky, and
were caught in the thunderstorm at
Perryville wltfli no umbrellas up.
"There came another lull and more
marching and, atthetnd of two months
of waiting, Stone River. That was a
terrible struggle between two well
dieciplined armies, each 50,000 strong,
and men lived three years in three days.
But after the storm came another calm.
When our regiment moved through and
beyond MurEreesboro two days after
the battle we felt sure we would strike
the enemy at the crossing of every
stream. After we had marched three
or four miles whi,t seemed to be a
squadron of cavalry bore down upon
us from the front. But instead of de
plojing into line of battle we came to
the front face on the side of tie road
and presented arm toGen.Rosecrans.
"Old Jlosy wna In excellent spirits,
and as he rdtle along the line said: 'I
remember you, boys, in West Virginia,'
and made remarks complimenting the
regiment to bis chief of staff. After
this meeting we knew that fighting for
the possession of Murfrecsboro wis
over, but we supposed we were to pur
sue the enemy. We marched rapidly
for ten or twelve miles and that night
with the other regiments of our brigade
formed in line of battle along a high
ridge facing vhe Cripple Creek valley.
The next day wc lounged in the thick
growtJi of small cedars awaiting or
ders, so we supposed, to attack. But
the next day our wagons came up,
tents were pitched, nud we remained
there six months, grsdua'.ly whipping
the ridge init a formidable fortified
camp.
"Early in July we swung forward and
drove the enemy to the line of the Ten
nessee and marched and counter
marched in the mountainous country
to tie south of Chattanooga with as
little anxiety as tlhough we were on a
picnic excursion. Even when we crossed
the Tennessee river and flanked the
enemy out of Chattanooga the men
were unconcerned and frc,iosome, and
they continued in this mood until they J
were caught in the storm of battle
at Chickamauga. This tame eight
months and eighteen days after Stone
lliver. Then came a lull of nearly two
"I HK.MKMUKR YOU, BOYS, IN WKST
VIRGINIA."
mouth, and the battle of Chatta
nooga was fought. This was followed
by a period of rwt from fighting for
most of the army unttil the opening
of the Atlanta campaign in May.
"After the battle of Rcsaca the
march on Atlanta waa almost a con
tinuous skirmish. After the capture
of Atlanta there was a lull for the army
of the Cumberland until the battles of
Franklin nnd Nashville. Our regiment,
which bad expected to fight half a
dozen battles in as many months, real
ly participated in only eight battles in
four years. At the utmost limit we
were in service MOO days. We spent 14
of these in actual battle, but this was
more than enough.
"When-two armies came together in
bnttle it was like two strong, wrathful,
well-clad men. loaded with bundles,
meeting on Madison street bridge, and
springing at earh other's throats. Bun
dles would be thrown this way and
that, hats and coats would go off.. If
evenly matched, the victor nt the end
of the fight would be almost us exhaust
ed ns the defeated, nnd as unfortunate
in the matter of clothes and bundles.
If the man who hnd been whipped had
strength enough to walk away, hfs an
tagonist might not have strength
enough to follow bim." Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Aa Oldvrisaer.
The sun-dial Is oca of the old-timers.
Chicago Daily News. 1
Poverty sad Pride.
Mr. Minks Have you culled on the
new neighbors next door?
Mrs. Minks Indeed I haven't, nor I
won't, neither. They're the trashiest
kind of people poor as church mice,
I'll warrant. They sends their washin'
out.
"What of thatn.
"I s'pose they is ashamed to show the
rags in their own yard." X. Y. Weekly.
So I'nkJnd of Mrs. JenklnsoB.
Wife Dear me, it's a rainy Satur
day, and I'll have the children racing
about the house all day and breaking
things.
Ilusband What have you usually
done on rainy Saturdays?
Wife 1 have usually sent them in to
play with Mrs! Jenkinson's children,
but she has moved away. Stray
Stories.
A Work of Art.
She's a charmtrs little witch.
And she doos a fancy stitch
On a crazy patchwork cushion that Is the
er.vy of her mother;
nut It would make you smJle.
To behold the wondrous style
In which she stitched a patch upon the
trousers of her brother.
Chicago Dally News.
OTHER VICTIMS.
Thomas My dear, H'b a shame the
way that creature bowls! If I bad a
bootjack I'd throw it at her, and then
perhaps we'd get some sleep. N. Y.
World.
A Cynical View.
THis life Is a delusive cheat;
When we hava solved the question
Of what Is BaTs for us to eat
Wo d e of Indigestion.
-N. Y. World.
. 1
F.usllj Remedied. V
"What is the matter?" asked the
prima douna's friend, ''You don't eeein
marly as clever and original ns you
used to be."
"I'm so glad you mentioned it, dear.
I haven't been reading the pap?rs late
ly; but I'll charge my press agent at
once." Washington Star.
Dueineaa Tranaactloa.
"I see by the papers that old Bul
lion's heiress was married yesterday
to that .French cdunt."
"That so? Who gave the brid
away?"
"Nobody. She was sohl. It was dis
covered this morning that be is not a
count." Omaha W'orld-Herald.
Kot Eieallnm.
"I thought you said this was a real
istic novel."
"Isn't it?"
"Judge for yourself. It contains the
statement that they were married and
lived happily ever afterward." Chicago
Post.
1'uder the Influence.
Mr. Bender Marcha, I shaw some
thing th-tbat made m-m-my hair sthand
up straight.
Mrs. Bender Well, that shows your
heir is better off than you are. It can
ctand' up Btraight. Chicago Daily
News.
Then Silence Itelitned.
"I see beef if firm," remarked the
landlady, looking up from the morn
ing paper.
"Very firm, indeed I" grunted the
thin boarder, continuing his efforts to
dismember the steak. N. Y. Journal.
tlntefol Thing.
"There are very few woman orators,
aren't there?"
"Why, I don't know. I had the im
pression that the great , majority of
women were great tnlkers." Philadel
phia Bulletin.
Afraid to Take Chancre.
"If you think he wants to marry you
for your money why don't you tell him
that your father has failed and that you
are consequently penniless?'"
"I'm afraid I'd lose hlm."-Cbicago
Post.
Pedaatle.
The Baby Ooo, goo, oo. ool
Mother Just hear that child talk.
What must people think of him?
Father (very modestly) Perhaps he
seems pedantic to others. Detroit
Journal.
Literary Hint.
Bcribbler I'm going to writ a book
that will make folks talk.
Friend That Isn't what's needed.
Sit down and write one that will make
folks shut up. Town Topics.
Wllllnar to the End.
She Although my father is rich, I
nave never cored for wealth but as a
means to an end.
He Well, I'm ready to go as end man
at a moment's notice. Stray Stories.
The Difficult Shopper.
Firtt Clerk What a tiresome cus
tomer that woman is!
Second Clerk Yes; she always knows
what she wants, nnd she won't take
anything clse.-Cbicago Record.
Optimum.
"I shall never marry," said the bach
elor. ?You always were optimistic.! re
turned the benedict. Chicago Times-Herald.
What II Was Looking- For.
"I tell you, sir," be said, "the girls
of to-day are not properly educated.
Before I marry 1 want to find a girl
who is able to cook." ,
"Yes?" returned the other, disinter
estedly. "Don't you?"
"Can't say that I care particularly
about that."
"What kind of a girl do yon want,
then?"
"What kind do I want? Oh, I want
a girl who is able to hire a cook, and
incidentally a butler and a coachman
and a footman, and all the rest that go
to make life comfortable." Chicago
Post
Reward of Merit.
Bailroad President. That was a bad
accident, but it might have been a
thousand times worse. Suppose those
cars had taken fire! Phew! Why
didn't they?
Superintendent A laty brakeman
had let the fires go out.
President liaise bis salary K. Y.
Weekly.
Biblical Information.
"Now, boys," said the Sunday school
teacher, "can any of you name tie three
great fiasts of the Jews?"
"Ysa'm," replied one little fellow.
"Very well, Johnny. WTiat are they?"
"Breakfast dinner and supper," waa
the unconsciously logical reply. Tit
Bita. .
Comparison.
McSwatters Why are you alwaya
borrowing knives and dishes of your
neighbors? Haven't you got every
thing you need' in the house?
Mrs. McSwatters Yes, but I want
to know if theirs Is as good as ours.
Syracuse Eerald,.
Dr. Bull's Cough S rup has saved
many a life. It cn nlway be relied on
to cure the dangerous croup and whoop
im; cough. It gives immediate relief and
should be kept in every home. It only
COJfH ''fv onto a I'oHln.
A Trip to CUBA
A How enjoyable it would be.
trip is now, and the route .
Call and let us quote you
sonville, Tampa, or Miama,
City Ticket Office
Corner Tenth and O Sts.
Telephone 335
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CulthUait. out ttntl vnd lu ! tu.h l.UO, and
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nll'flPd. f wllier.l euknUMl rMr r.l lin.nH ... 10.
f 11. nil. ill w. ". .o. all fullr Hrvriw In nnr re !..
loHvimiwif. b;itii." f.,r tMa Dnor p."i caiiurr at ami a u
li !IWA g OLQJL V I T A T I O N s zrsz lj
ti iiM.r..')flcri'v i.Lw. Hifi.Mii unirarli,!inanie.. with wiM.la- Krsl
i rc-nr.:. Wt. trA 1. 1 kirm aa. p.r. a.arr.!ltt,!, n4.kir.R. KaJ
TUC UliQniOlir n rrirr Rniiiiia l,i-KaarT. S.v'l
I WHIIWIUIV nut tHt Minor grin, M
hatiie umiMt
inni ur 0a.
jTr-rremtb. bv.
ran key.
len.eo. and rhen If eonfinHl that yon a r aarintt
SJ ' vtr- '-j-'- ' ' JrT
4 H 'VHAV.U1:fid SOLID QUARTER SAWED OAK MO KM ellKtT,i'
I r )" "T'lfS'-l ' '- : i ''pl "'l(l'"eilr..l.1..iiinui to be id lwM,iM
-YXTmmm iTx'' J&ti& tlir otlirr..f-nwltli full lenrih tahle and h... In ptanH
1 . T K H ! Sd'lW .1 Iww r aiMl.leO.,rl-rtr..inMBni.h.fln..t B.u.i rf.-i. .,.....,
r-AL' "j"'r . ' " T. . ' w..n,i. MifCTMimHajnMr yon aea not amuaii.
W. A AfafaA I . ine!, rneniwa uw. .re innrrmrniT
UAT. lAean. Fnehnek A Un.are th'WtiehlT Tliahl..-Vdl tor.)
Aadrats, 8 EARS. ROEBUCK CO. (Inc.) Chicago, IU.
Hides and Wool.
DC3S0H & UK06REN
Dealers in Hides, Wool, Tallow,
and Furs. Send in your goods and
get the HIGHEST market prica.
920 R STREET,
LINCOLN, NEBR.
A. D. Culp
JohnWittorff
Successors to
John Backs.
CULP & WITTORFF
' """""
Liquors and
... CIGARS
JugTrado
a Specialty,
Fine Mot Lunch 030 to ll
Saturday night 8 to IP
915 O STREET
PAINLESS
RIG6S, Tho
Dentist.
EXTRACTION
141 So. 12th 8., Lincoln, Hi
Gold Alloy Filling $1.00
Gold Filling . . $1.00 and mp
Gold Crowns . . $b.00 and up
Set of Teeth $5 00
Best Teeth ...... $8.00
141 So. 12th at., Lfnonln, Neb.
The time to plan such a Q
W THE BURLINGTON. !
prices via New York, Jack
o
Florida
Burlington Depot
7th St., between P and Q
Telephone 25
J )!hi mi. J.k DRvfS &ml'&-f VajVCw
depot, and lrffMffi&&te&k3-i if
par the freight
a4.fr0 ud
(n Xmprovcmcnta.
Ctx Best Taluc Olrirtng JacMm.
Cardinal pcrfnt.
bt,i.0.aawltoaaaii.
...... in
aiot. mm .
Maee k
I. .at tmj I" i A.1.". f'
tcrlalHaae
3.
1
essrw & 1
faMkS
fv-j - I a a a
nunm, artnin.ie trraoie. nenoineSmrth iron .t.nd. rb.r.1 Inrt. Ml.. Arm
kwi. jKiUefonrBvitlt,n Unl.mt threadin Tinratlnr .mi til. .n"mte
tntihln wl i.r. adjn.t.blr tw.rlnr.. patent wmnn IHie"itor.lmnrnT,-d lwe
wnrri aujii.wni. eiure khw, imprnved einitil Barrier, patent neulr Ijir.
patent tr icuerd. h 4mrli .-ntnit m4 mw ae4 t.tit.'l
alr.ollrlf.eKC, CUARANTEED IKllel.l.rtre.a(w. wiM eerahl. ... ea.fv.t
eel.erk)a.eu... -rr "a altwi.w..t ta f.niUk and mir Free I
atmrtlon oo tell. )n.t linwan.nneean mn Hand do either plain or any
kind of lanry work, a to-T ear.' aialta fieamle.1. eent with eeary niaetlliie.
IT riTJTC Villi imTUIkirl Me.ael.ilMibu...ki it.iia
t...o to a,o.o, pay ynnr frelirlit ae.nt the Bin RO.
auaflad. OaUI .AaI.
reiianie.-F ni tor. i
It
