THE NEBRASKA INDEPENDENT
January 23, 1896
REPRESENTATION
Pcpulirt Leaden Consider it Leng ud
Well
EOW TEE PABTY WAS POOTDED
Hereafter Thoee Who Vote the Ticket
Will Make the Platform
Harmony Reached at Laat
St. Locia, Jan. 18, 1896. Special
correspondence. There is a much larger
number of the committee here than was
expected. It was thought that only
about forty members would Lave been in
attendance but there were over double
the number. The following are the mem
bers of the national committee:
Connecticut Robert Payne.
Massachusetts Geo. F. Washburn, E.
0. Brown and 1'eter Gardner.
Maine 11. S. Uobbs, Henry Botts.
Maryland A. A. Dunning, Dr. M. 0.
Elxey.
New, Jersey John Wilcox, J. It. Bueb
anan. Pennsylvania V. A. Lotier, J. II. Les
lie and J. I). Aikiu.
Minnesota I. Donnelly, K llalvorson
and M. B. Martin.
Missouri A. Rozelle, Lamar; 0. D.
Jones, Eden la.
Nebraska S. C. Stockton and V. 0.
Strickler, J. 11. Edmisten.
North Dakota Walter Muir, W. T.
McCulloch.
Oregon J. W. Marksburry.
South Dakota Fred Zipp.
Vermont A. J. Beebe, Charles 8. Louie.
California H. R. 8 Law, Jesse l'omid-
etoue, E. M. Hamilton.
Idaho J. 11. Anderson.
Iowa W. H. Calhoun, W. L. Scott, A.
J. Westfall.
Kansas S. II. Snider.
Louisiana 0. W. Bruce, T. J. Guice, T
J. Mills.
Mississippi G. W. Dyer.
.North Carolina W. It. Lindsay, Thos.
B. Lbhg.'S. Q. Wilsan.
Twnneasee J. 11. McDowell, John Telli
t corse, T. J. Ogilvie.
' Texas D. E. Lyday.
Virginia J. 11. Hobson, Haj. Mann
Page.
West Virgiuia-S. H. Piersol, John E.
Stanley.
11 tah James Thompson, William A,
McKenzie, N. B. Dresser.
Washington C. W. Young, M. F. Knox
D. B. llauna.
Wyoming H. D. Merritte.
Illinois H. E. Taubeueck, Eugene
Smith, J. D. Hess.
. Indiana M. C. Rankin, C. A. Robinson,
Frazier Thomas.
Michigan J. 0. Zable.
Ohio Hugo Preyer, J. C. H. Cobb.
Wisconsin. Robert Schilling, C. M.
Butts, Henry O'llrien.
Arkansas J. W. Dollison, J. M. Pitt
man, E. It. Kay.
Colorado S. S. Horvey, P. S. Jenkins,
F.H. Sythe.
Georgia-J. H. Turner, C. H. Ellington
Dr. J. F. Brown.
Kentucky J. G. Blair, W. G. Scott.
District of Columbia T. A. Bland, Lee
Crandall, Mrs. Annie L. Diggs.
The committee was in executive ses
sion from 10 o'clock in the morning till
7 o'clock at night, with the exception of
two hours for lunch, when an adjourn
ment was taken from 12 till 1 o'clock.
At 7 o'clock an adjournment was taken,
and at 8 the committee again met in ex
ecutive session. There were two princi
pal questions to be considered. One was
the matter of the date of the conven
tion; another, the basis of representa
tion upon which the delegates should be
be elected. This latter occupied nearly
all of the afternoon. It was warmly
debated. It was naturally interesting to
learn why such an apparently trivial
matter should lead to such a lengthy
discussion. The reason is realy to be
found in the composition of the populist
party. On the old basis delegates were
selected from each state, according to
the total voting population of the state.
Thus the eastern states had a great
majority over the western. Some of the
leaders of tbe populist movement now
desire to change the basis, making the
. total populist vote of each state the test
in the Bending of delegates to the popu
list convention. This, it is estimated,
. would practically give the control of the
party to the southern and western states.
It will have the effect of uniting all the
reform elements of the different political
parties and enable them to get together
under one banner for victory m the com
ing election.
Now is the time bo subscribe. To say
that the Opportunity will uever return
again would be to predict tbe impro
bable, but there is no time like the pre.
sent and no better use to which a dollar
can be put.
A Simple Change.
"Professor, how does the hair-cut suit
"The hair Is altogether too short a
tittle longer, please." Fliegende Blaet-
ter. - -
A New Metal.
Glucinium is the name of a new
metal which seems to be destined to
become of great Importance In the very
near future. On account of Its peculiar
qualities It will be used especially for
electrical purposes. As Its atomic
weight is 9.1 and. its specific gravity
2.00, Its tractive power is considera
bly greater than that of iron, and its
conductibility is equal to that of sil
ver. Glucinium, therefore, is more ca-
pable of resistance than iron and a bet
ter conductor than copper, and In addi
tion to all that it is lighter than alum
inum. If these claims for this new
metal should be confirmed for practical
use, there is no doubt that glucinium
will be used extensively for electrical
purposes, the more as its commercial
value will amount to about $20 a pound,
or 150 times less than the same volume
and tea times less that the same weight
of platinum..
This paper and The Silver
Knight both tor one ' year for
91.15 in advance.
AGRICULTURAL DKFKESSION
What the Plutocrats Say the Canse
Otitis
Even the bullet headed plutocrats down
east are beginning totalk about the agri
cultural depression. A lot of them held
a meeting in New York city last week.
One of tbe speakers started off all right
but be soon got into the old rut. He
said:
"The subject of agricultural depression
is hardly second in importance to the
solution of the slavery question, for the
interests ol the entire population of the
United States areequally involved in this
question. This is tbe second conference
of this nature in the history of our
country, the first having been held jn
Philadelphia in 1785. The present de
pressed condition of agriculture in our
eastern states and tbe consequent depre
ciation of land values has been the sub
ject of much anxious inquiry, for when
agriculture ceases to be sustained by
fairly prosperous conditions for anv con
siderable portion of time not only are
those who are directly engaged in its
work unfavorably affected, but all other
classes and interests in society become
i. i ' . ...
more or less uisiuroea.
That shows the speaker is just taking
nis nrsi lesson in tn nnrtr nu rr
Farmers Alliance, bnt in the begining1 of
ine next naracraun ne talis flat iiimn
and says:
"Many of the serious losses occuring on
farms are due to the farmers tii
It is estimated that the manure derived
irom the domestic animals in this state
in one year, if properly returned to the
soil, would bn worth in vnlno tuui nnn
- - - " V W, WV. V,
000. The loss sustained from theneglect
in ne proper care oi these valuable
materials, both in
not less than 150,000,000 annually.
Too many cows are kept on many dairy
farms that have not the capacity to pro
duce a Iroflt on fond Pnnnnmorl . turn
cows being kept to make the produce
a 1 a. I i i m
inai one snouia. ioo many acres are
not properly fertilized and too poorly
cultivated, nroducinir minimum inutouri
of maximum crops."
Now that is the same old song sung to
the same nlol oerntin tiinn wo hmu Vw.n A
I a..v .. U U V.
so lone in Nebraska. This tvpn in
economics does not stop to think that if
wesfiouia produce maximum crops we
would tret no more than we do now tnr
the minimum crops, unless the volume of
money was increased. A big crop and
where would prices be? Then the old cry
of "overproduction" would be raised
again.
No Mr. Plutocrat von can't fnl na with
that kind of talk anv mom. Thom win
be agricultural depression just as long as
.... 1 .L. I.J i . . . .
e nave uiegoiu sranoarn, and that too,
whether we have maximum crons or
minimum crops.
Will the State Journal Explain
The amount of money that the Ameri
can people owe to people of foreiirn na
tions is so large that is has become a
menace to the prosperity of our country
and the Independent will keep the
amounts constantly before its readers..
This question lays at the foundation of
nearly all of onr financial troubles and
we feel that it is our duty to continually
press this matter on the neonle. The
French people nre more in debt than we
are, but none oi their debts nre held in
foreign countries, it is ull owned by their
own people. We wrote up quite a long
article on our debt abroad in our issue of
last week. The first official statement
we have of the debt that our neonle owe
j , ' " -
to people in other lands was made by
David A, Wells who was sDecial com
missioner of the Revenue during 18C9.
The statement was as follows:
Governmsnt bonds.!...... $1,000,000,000
nmw auu UlUIMUipai aBDU, 1U7,0UV,UUU
nmiway uaoaa , ,, j.,., 130,000,000
Dvuno..,.,,,, , J I 0,VUU,WU
MlBwllaneoim stock and bonds 15,000,000
Ileal estate mortfrnpws 25,000,000
Money ou deposit In this country, or
leiiipuraruy invested 75,000,000
Total,.... $ 1,466.500,000
The (leht hflA hnon nmnmnlntinf, Atrui.
since 18G9, and it now amounts to the
enormous sum set forth in tbe table be
low: Thenmonnt that we were in debt
lKflft St JdK MA AAA
.........,.,... vi,vu,uw,vw
Interest on Ibe above amount Irom
is to 1X05 8,100,000.000
Eipendltureby the Americans trav-
Alilltr ihm.H 1 BAA AAA AAA
uwu. l.AW.VW.VW
The curry lug trade tor twenty six
" z.Duu.uw.uw
Total S8.SB5.B00.ooa
Deducting from 'the above amount
the excess ot exports lor twenty
six years over the Imports ...2,35fl,31,961
Grand total $6,009,183,049
As we have less than $ 600.000.000 of
gold in this country which is under the
ruliug of tbe Treasury department, the
only money to redeem all the balance of
our circulation and at the same time
must takecare of morethan $6,000,000.-
000 of foreign debt can the State Jour
nal or any other gpld bug paper tell how
b can oe uone.
While you are not bnsv. snnnosn vnn
tret up a club of subscribers for this
paper, feend us three yearly subscribers
with $3 and we will send you this paper
fre for one year.
Any Cord Will Do.
The Peoples Tribune, of Washington,
makes the following hit that would fit
a northern republican as well as south
ern democrat, exactly.
At a recent prayer meeting, a demo
cratic brother prayed that God would
cause the democratic party to hang
togetner, wnerupon a populist present
shouted, "amen", amen!" This led the
democratic member to make the follow
ing amendment to his prayer: "Not, oh.
Lord, in the sense our populist brother
means, but in the spirit of accord and
concord."
"Any cord will will do, good Lord: any
cord will do," interjected the populist.
The pastor immediately made a rnle
that hereafter politics should be kept
out oi tne prayer meeting, and that no
brother should read the Tribune.
If the mayor of Lincoln can close all
the gambling houses in the city for one
night, how is it that hecannot keeDthem
closed? Where are the good times that
tne gamblers were going to bring with
them? .
When you need shoes iro to Webster A.
Rogers, 1048 0 street. They will sell
you good goods at gold standard prices.
i'E OLD PARTY
Ex-Governor Gibbi of Texai Leave the
Democrats
BOTH OLD PASTIES ARE FRAUDS
We can Have Money to Build Warships,
Pay Big Salaries, Fire Salutes and
Make Trusts but None to do
Business With
Uncle Bam. "Allee Timee Basted"
There has been a sensation down in
Texas. Ex-Governor Gibbs one of the
great political leaders of the lone star
state has bidden the old party good bye
and cast his lot with the Populists. The
Huston Daily Post has a two column in
terview with him. It is spicy reading
from start to finish. The interview is in
part as follows:
"We can get money to build war ships
to float around the world and fire salutes
and to pay big pensions to tbe already
rich, but when it comes to doing some
thing practical for the benefit of the
masses we are as the Chinaman says:
'Al'ee timee busted.'
"The canalization of the Trinity river
at a cost of 11,000,000 would save the
producers of Texas about 92.50 per bale
on their cotton freight, but our repre
sentatives won't demand it either be
cause it will scare eastern Democrats or
won t appear economical. If Texas is
safely Democratic what is the use of giv
ing them any relief? If we canalize the
Trinity river it will save tbe producers
leveral millions every year, bnt it will
make the holders of railroad stocks and
bouds in the east mad, and they won't
put up any Democratic campaign fund.
Instead of canalizing the Trinity they
will build a warship at a cost of $5,001)',
000 and call her Texas and let Texus
girls baptize her, and this won't hurt or
onend the railroads and will quiet the
'mud-sillers ,' who will vote the ticket.
although the ship won't float. This is
the game that the Democratic and Re
publican leaders give the people, and
then tell us that this Ufa government of
the people, by the neonle and ior the ueo-
ple but which people?
"Even the National government and
monarchies limit the amount of fees mi
officer can pocket during a term of office,
bnt this people's democratic administra
tion fixes no limit, and when the neoole
talk about reforming this abuse, the
leaders begin to talk tariff or silver or
huut some popular individual to put in
office.
'Populists could not give us anvtliinir
worse than the official fee system, ami
the ornamental railroad commission in
state politics; and in national politics no
more extravagance and demoralization
and unequal taxation than the last
Democratic and Republican Comrress
gave. In Congress they could demand in
Dehali of the people of Texas fair treat
ment in a tariff bill or an appropriation
bill. They could be earnest if not elo
quent, honest if not polished, and preach
ami vole Mguiiist the autocratic tenden
cies of Democratic and Republican Con
gressmen. They might reduce expenses
to a basis where the money in circulation
would abide more in the pockets of the
people than in the government treasury
or official pocket, books. They might
cause 1 he people to find out that iust as
efficient officers could be obtained for
one-fourth the present salaries, just as in
the best and most honest days of the
republic. They might tench the world
that the mud-sillers of America make
just as good office holders as beasts of
burden. 1 hey might prove to the world
that republican governments can reform
themselves, and that democratic institu
tions can live beyond the usual age of
corroding corruption.
"If the mud-sillers of our social and
political organism are ignorant, they
may compensate us for their ignorance,
by their economy and honesty, just as
old Andrew Jackson did. If he makes a
a good tax producer in time of peace,
and a good soldier in time of war, why
not a good office holder? It is not as
brutal or expensive to us for him to
murder the queen's English as the
queen's subjects. He may have sense
enough to run the government mill for a
lair ana equal toll and return to the pay
as you go policy. He may not have a
university education, and yet know more
than the financier who killed the goose
that laid the golden egg. No matter
how uncouth the mud siller may appear,
when he gets behind the pie counter with
the ofticial apron on, he will be trans
mografied into a thing of wisdom and
beauty, and handle the official baton
and draw the official salary with a grace
ot a bir M lies irovvley and a Sir Roger.
If he can't shoot ducks on the Chesa
peake bay, he can go over on the Virginia
side and make coons and o'possums
thinK the world Is at war.
"If he gave us as much trouble as a liv
ing Congressman he would at least com
pensate us when he died by an economical
funeral as Peffer says that any good
ropulist will be satisfied with one gov
ernment paid mourner. The shrewd
Tankee Congressman could get away
with no more of the Populist wool and
hide than be has of the Democratic wool
and hide. If he did not prove himself a
good performer and breeder we could
turn him out on the commons and try
a new breed, for after all government is
an experiment. ay not give the Popu
lists or mud-siller the benefit of the
doubt, for we do this much for the crimi
nal? If he can raise any tnore political
hell, or make times any harder, or be
bossed any more by corporations, than
the Democrats and Republicans of today
it will be because he gets up earlier and
puts in more time at it. It will require
great wisdom for him to get up a more
Dolly Vardon tariff or financiul system.
"Some of these one-gallused fellows in
the cross timber know as much about
what constitutes good government as
some of these political dudes who pose
as statesmen and teachers of democracy
and get on both sides of silver and the
railroad, and every other political ques
tion, and expect Dt-mocrats to make
jumping jacks of themselves in trying to
lollow them.
Every man who receives a sample copy
of TheNkbraska Indepenpent may very
properly consider it un invitation to sub
scribe. The Annex restnurnnt in as good as
any in the city. Give them a trial.
GOOD
h Great Wave of Prosperity
For the last twelve mouths the old
party papers have been shouting that
there was a great wave of prosperity
abroad in the land. In every locality
where business was at a "low ebb" the
local old party politicians and news
papers would give various reasons.
Short crops would have to bear the
blame at oae place, low prices at an
other, and so on to the end. Tbe year
1895 has passed into history. There
have been but few years in our national
history that have produced more of sor
row, disaster and bankruptcy than the
year 1895. And if with the closing of
' the year the future bad bright prosprcts
we might overlook tbe past, but such is
not the case; the prospects for 1896 are
not bright. The outlook for business is
not nearly as good as it was one year ago,
Prices of neariy all manufactured goods
a year ago were tending upward and
the employes of a large number of fac
tories received an increase in their
wages; many a manufacturing plant
that had stood idle since 1893 started
up. But today everything is changed.
Prices of nearly all manufactured troods
are declining, everything that the farmer
produces brings a low price, and prices
are declining from day to day. R. G.
Dun & Co. make the following state
ment in their last report, dated January
17th:
"The situation could hardly be more
perplexing for business men. Practical
merchants, manufacturers, or bankers
can have little sympathy for those who
minimize their difficulties."
This was written in New York where
we are told that business is prosperous.
A little further on in the same report we
find:
"But four large failures within a day
or two indicate that the sameconditions
cannot continue without much embar
rassment." ,
It will be seen that the wave hits in
spots. Quoting from the report: "Do
mestic trade shown by clearing house
payments to be 28.8 per cent less than
1893. Railroad earnings for the first
week in January are 13.5 per cent less
than 1893.
THE IRON INDUSTRY.
"The pig iron output weekly January
2 was 207,471 tons, a decrease of 9,325,
4.3 per cent in December, and unsold
stocks increased 92,125 tons, or over
20,000 weekly, while the great steel
companies, whose stocks are not quoted,
proaucea in uecemDer 34U,y3o tons.
The production is so far beyond the pres
ent demand for finished product that
temporary stoppage of many furnaces
is expected." ,
Whenever the iron industry suffers.
every otherindustry follows in its down
ward tendency, 'the report savs that
the supply of finished goods is so far
beyond the demand that production
must stop. Again the report says:
"Shipments of boots and shoes for the
week huve been 23 per cent less than last
year, but many of the factories are run
ning full and orders are scanty, buyers
still believing that prices must get
lower."
lhat great wave must be takincr a
short lay off. The crowning part of the
report is contained in the following:
"New York, Jan. 17. R. G. Dun &
Co will say to-morrow in thefr weekly
rtview of trade:
"Failures for nine davs of January
have shown liabilities of $5,568,000,
against $4,522,531 last year in ten days.
and f 9,041,225 in eleven days of 1894.
rainres ior the past week have been
much larger in magnitude, numbering
395 in the United States, against 373
last year, and 81 in Canada, against 60
60 last year."
1 here were 22 more failures durine the
week than last year for the same week
aud more than a million dollare more
of liabilities. These figures should
arouse the American people. The pluto
cratic gold bug State Journal and
Umaba Bee will tell you that it is all
caused by the Wilson Tariff bill. Can
the Hon. C. H. Gere of the State Journal
or Mr. E. Rosewaterof the Bee explain
to the people of Nebraska how it is that
Canada has 21 more failures for the first
week of this last year than for the same
week last year. You can not blame the
Wilson bill for that twenty-five per cent
increase of bankrupts. Neither one of
these gentlemen will attempt to explain
this great increase. If the Wilson bill
had anything to do with the business of
Canada it is supposed to favor the busi
ness men of that country.
iso man living can give but one reasou
and that is Canada iscursed by thesame
finacial pulicy that the Uuited States is.
A single gold standard. It is strange
that the people of this country will allow
themselves to be ruined by the gold bug
gers and plutocrats of Wall Street. What
a picture we have piaced before us. Not
a bank from the Mississippi river to the
Rocky mountains that has any money
to loan to buy and crib corn or to loan
to farmers to buy and feed steers with.
Phil Armour and the balance of tbe big
four at Chicago are the only ones thut
can buy and crib the corn and they are
getting it at their own prices. They
nave pressed down May corn to about
28 cents per busshel, which is about five
cents lower than May corn has been for
thirty-three years. The way to change
this set of conditions is for the people to
rise up in their might and vote the gold
bugs out of power. The man that votes
for McKinley, Reed, Allison, Harrison,
Cleveland or Morton votes for a gold bug.
As far as the money is concerned these
men will Decontrolled by Wall Street and
will veto all legislation that is intended
to increase the money volume in the
country.
An Inte-xstlnc; Development.
The gas "s turned low.
Scarcely a glimmer gleamed.
Young Camera clasped in his arms
the slender form of the beautiful heir
ess, Angelica McFadden, and her
roseate cheek pressed the vest button
nearest his heart. Angelica's dulcet
yes!" to the momentous question
which concerned the life, liberty and
pursuit of happiness of these two lov
ing hearts still trembled upon the en
raptured air.
"And yet,' exclaimed young Camera
exultlngly t' rough the circumambient.
Impassioned darkness, "and yet they
say that ncp'Mves are developed in a
dark room!" New York World.
to. Miles' Nerve Plasters ESa atsllflrugflste.
TAKE NOTICE!
Book and Job Printing
In all its branches.
County Printing
Lithographing . .
Book Binding
From the
Engraving
Of all kinds.
Blank Books
In every style.
Legal Blanks
otner nouses
Stereotyping
From superior hard metal.
Printers' Rollers
Made by an
material.
Country Printers
Having county or other work, which they cannot
themselves handle, would make money by writing
ns for terms.
The Independent Pub. Co.,
Lincoln, Neb.
LINCOLN'S MAYOR.
Mr. IV. Morton Smith Asks Him
Wbere tbe Gamblers and Pros
titutes Assessment Goes.
The following taken from The Courier
a republican weekly published in Lincoln
is self explanatory. Many republicans
in Lincoln are fast growing sick and tire,
of their boodling mayor and city council.
"As mayor of the city of Lincoln. Frank
Graham is a paid servant of the people.
It is his duty to be frank and honest with
his employers. There are certain things
bis employers, the people, would like to
know, and it is to be hoped that Mr.
Graham will manifest the same, accom
modating spirit that he did before elec
tion. Mayor Graham's employers would
like to know thereason for his paroxysm
of official zeal which lately caused the
sudden closing of the gambling houses
for one night. This is a very simple
matter and the mayor ought to be will
ing to tell his employers all about it.
They have a right to know. There is
another thing. It has been reported
for some months that there is such a
thing as an "assesement fund." Now,
Alayor braham, what is the "as
sessment fund?" Is it a' fact, as cur
rently reported, that six or seven gam
bling houses pay $100 a month each
into the hands of an officer of the city,
for official protection? If so, what be
comes of this money, amounting to
$000 or $700 a month? Is it correct
that this sum is further augmented e&ch
mouth by contributions from certain
leeorts in the reservation ? Now there
are good reasons for believing that there
is an assessment fund of this sort, and
the people are genuinely interested in
finding out what becomes of it. If you
are turning $600 or $700 a month into
the city treasury you should not let
your excessive modesty prevent you
from making proper acknowledgment
of your philanthropy. Of course it is
not supposed that any improper use is
made of the $600 or $7L'0. But the
question is, what is done with the
money?"
A Novel Remedy.
A Virginia gentleman, during an
athletic exercise one day, felt a sudden
pain, and fearing some internal injury
sent for a negro living on the planta
tion who made pretensions to medical
skill to prescribe for him. The negro,
having sagely investigated the case,
prepared and administered a dose with
the utmost confidence of a speedy cure.
No relief being obtained, however, a
regular physician was sent for, who on
arriving inquired of the negro what he
had given. Sambo promptly responded:
"Rosin and alum, sir!" "What did you
give them for?" continued the doctor.
"Why," replied Sambo, "de alum to
draw de parts togeder and de rosin to
solder "em."
Dueled In Calcutta.
Two respectable Englishmen of Cal
cutta fought a duel with dumb-bells
recently. After spending a pleasant
evening with their families they got
into a quarrel and were seen fighting
by a native servant. One was killed
by a dumb-bell, whereupon the other
blew out his brains with a revolver.
Timely Warning.
The great success of the chocolate preparations of
the house of Walter Baker & Co. (established
in 1780) has led
manv mlsldadiner
Of their name, labels, and wrappers. Walter
. ...
Baker & Co. are the oldest ana largesi manu
facturers of pure and high-grade Cocoas and
Chocolates on this continent. No chemicals are
used in their manufactures.
Consumers should ask for, and be sure that
they get, the genuine Walter Baker & Co.'s goods.
WALTER BAKER & CO., Limited,
DORCHESTER, MASS.
and Supplies
simplest style to the mo6t elaborate.
The Red Line Series, the handsomest Blank in the
country, printed on Bond Paper at less expense thaa
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YE SONGS OF SAMVEWEL.
ther wuz wunse a forren nashun
whutkud wallup all kreashun
in the makin uv a multitewd uv laws .
that was dux 2 ho pertaters.
& wuz all grate legislatures
when they wuzent bizzy fylin kross kut
saws
just 2 hed off whut ill feelin
mite arize frum peepel steelin
they enakted many veey pleezin laws
the expense wuz sumwhut hevvy
bu. the voters stud the levvy
& kuntinued hoin taters without paws
after sentyeries uv thinking
how thayd sware off whisky drinkin
thay enakted a prohibiterry law
gosh it kawsed a heep uv fy tin
& kept all ther wize men rytin
but thay past anakt 2 dry up evry
kraw ,
& betimes thay legislated
on most evrythin kreated
now and then repeelin sum uv nachers
laws
but ther airs & asskies rew it 1
er at leest i so kunstrew it
from the mournful way thay wipe ther
dusty maws ,
& no dowt yew offen wunder
how the kroniklers ken blunder
when thay riddikewl them ainshents &
the laws
fer we no that tribulashun
& most all this bibulashun
must arise uv korse from legislative
flaws
ah deer sriends if weed remember
that the lords no sham defender
& bad wit 2 werk reform threw nachrel
law
then weed see our legislashun
wuz but pure hallusinashun
a mere surplus produkt not werth
thrast out straw .
sam fonagraf
deeler in & breeder uv hy grade mewels
aiewltown arizony preecdin the gospul a
speshulty.
BU Bent.
Fond Father If that boy of mine haw
any particular bent, I can't find It
Philosopher What experiments hav
you made to find out?
"Very thorough ones. I gave him t
toy printing press, a steam engine i
box of paints, a chest of tools and a lo
of other things carefully selected to fini
out whether his tastes were literary,
mechanical, artistic, commercial 0
what, and I know no more than I dk
before."
"What did he do with em?"
"Smashed them all up."
"Ah, I see. He is to be a furnltun
mover." New York Weekly.
Con! In South Africa.
Owing to sei freight, expensive land
ing and carriage after arrival at port
of delivery the coal consumed at the
Kimberley diamond mines. South Af
rica, became the most costly on record,
the average price per ton being 20.
These coals originally cost at the pit
mouth about 10 shillings. The highest
price ever paid for coal in England
was between 1800-1820, when it cost 2
13s 3d per ton.
to the placing on the market
and unscrupulous imitations