)
IPIattsmouth- Journal
C. A'.
$lli:itMAN, Publisher.
TLAlTSilOUTH. t i NEBRASKA.
FISHERMAN JIM'S KIDS.
Fisherman Jim lived on the hill
; With his bonnie vlfo an' his little boysi
'Twuz "Blow, ye winds, as blow ye will
Naught we reek of your cold and noise I"
For happy and warm were he an' hi.
And he dandled his kids upon his knee
To the song of the sex
Fisherman Jim would sail all day.
But when come nlsht upon the sands
His little kids ran from their play,
Callln' to him an' wavin' taeir hands;
Though the wind was fresh and the sea
was high.
He'd hear 'em you bet above the roar
Of the waves on the shore!
Once Fisherman Jim sailed into the bay
As the sun went down in e cloudy sky.
And never a kid saw he at play.
And he listened in vain for the welcoming
crv:
In his little house he learned it all.
And he clinched his hands and he bowed
his
head
"The fever:" they said.
Twuz a pitiful time for Fisherman Jim
With them darlin's a-dyin' afore his eyes.
A-stretchin' their wee hands out to him
An" a-brcakin' his heart with the old-time
cries
He had heerd so often upon the sands.
For they thought they wui helpin' his boas
ashore
Till they spoke no more.
But Fisherman Jim lived on and on,
Castin' his nets an' sallin' the sea:
AJ a man will live when his heart is gone
Fisherman Jim lived hopelessly.
Till once In those years they come an soldi
"Old Fisherman Jim is powerful 6ick
Go to him. quick:"
Then Fisherman Jim says he to me:
It's a long. Ions cruise you understand
But over beyont the rapln' sea
I kin see my boys on the shinin' sand
Waitin' to help this ol' hulk ashore
Just as they used to ah, mate, you knowl
In the long ago."
fo, sir! he wuzn't afeard to die;
For all night Ion? he seemed to see
His little boys of the days pose by
An' to hear sweet voices forgot by me!
An' just as the mornin' sun come up
"They're holdin' me by the hands:" he cried.
An' so he died.
Eugene Field, in Chioago Record.
THE NEW GIRL.
How She Won Friends in Spite of
Her Queer "Ways.
On a pleasant September afternoon
hack drove up to the doorway of a
western seminary. At one of the win
dows which gave upon the entrance
was a group of girls, who looked down
eagerly to see whether the girl inside
was old or new. It was a new girl
who alighted. A plump, short-waisted,
large-waisted girl who wore an ordi
narily good wool suit, made after the j
prevailing style in the country village
whence she had come.
"What a fright:" cried Miss Lily
Maud Twillets, with a giggle. "What
do you suppose she has come here
for?" Lily Maud was wasp-waisted
and wore a train, and, in her own eyes
and those of her set, was an extremely
stylish person. She was now chew
ing gum with all her might, so that
her words and her giggle had a choppy
sound.
"I don't know," giggled Rose Marie
Sipp. "Some folks are so queer."
The rest of the stylish set said noth
ing, but they looked out at the new
girl and giggled. She looked so funny.
She set her foot down easily and
actually bent it as she walked, instead
of clumping along. She dropped a
parcel and stooped as easily as a child
to pick it up, and her gloves were so
loose that she could really hold things
in her hands!
"If I looked like that," declared Lily
Maud, "I wouldn't go where I could
be seen. Why, she's a perfect sight to
behold." And then she giggled and
all the rest giggled with her as the
new girl entered the hall door.
From other windows other sets of
girls had looked down upon the new
arrival. Their comments had not
been so foolish and unkind as those
made by the fashionable set, but th
new girl had created an unfavorable
impression. The hall, as she stepped
into it, seemed gloomy and cold, and
a chill fell upon her spirits. Her inde
pendence forsook her, and all at once
she was but a timid girl of seventeen
and a half who had never been away
from home alone before. The room to
which she was shown was small, but
it had two windows, one to the north
and one to the east, and both looked
out on the pretty grounds of the semi
nary. She could see groups of girls
walking about, and 6he wondered
which of them would be her friends,
for she was modest and did not hope
to win them alL Making her toiiet,
exploring her little room and its closet,
trying to determine just how the fur
nishings could be arranged to the
best advantage, with every now 'and
then a glance from the windows,
whiled away the time until the sup
per bell rang, and 6he, in rather a hap
py and expectant mood, descended to
the dining-room. A little self-conscious,
she walked across the room to
the place assigned her, and, when the
meal began, glanced timidly about.
She was not used to such a large com
pany. Directly opposite her sat Lily
Maud and Rose Marie and, the presid
ing teacher being absent, they pro
ceeded to make merry at her expense, j
In a thousand little ways they man
aged to convey to her that they found
her amusing. Under this treatment
the new girl grew awkward. Sh
blushed and made all sorts of little
blunders which, under happier circum
stances, she would not have made,
and she answered what was said to
her at random, and not at all to the
point For the first time in her life
she was nervous and confused.
"Her name's Matilda Martha Bebb!
cried Lily Maud, as the new girl dis
appeared up the stairs. "Ain't it just
like her? Matilda Martha Bebb:" she
repeated. "Matilda Martha Bebb! I
wonder where on earth she came from?
Eebbville?" At this brilliaut speech
Rose Marie giggled more than usuaL
Matilda Martha Bebb meanwhile hur
f vor. True ife'is a democrat and not
',,.of our stripe politically, but honor h
tints I T"- ' BIStfrn (uwh . 1 -A
ried along1 to he' room. Her lips were
tight shut and her blue eyes were very
bright. There was an ache in her heart
and a lump in her throat, but not for
the world would she have let those
seminary girls know it. She had no
room mate and from that day she stood
alone. She would make no advanees.
How did she know but that all the
pirls were like Lily Maud and Rose
Marie? She would not try to find out.
It was bad enough to be scouted with
out bavins' the additional humiliation
of feeling1 one's self repulsed.
The seminary town was also a river
town and in the winter had a bleak
and penetrating air. Nevertheless, on
Sundays the girls perched little hats
upon their heads and took the long
walk to church, wearing no overshoes,
and with their throats quite unprotect
ed; for high cloak collars had not yet
come into style. Matilda, however,
knew nothing of this Sunday after
noon custom, and she had been tausjht
to clothe herself comfortably. Down
she stepped on the first Sunday morn
ing of December into the hall where
all the girls were assembled. On her
head was a pretty and becoming hat,
slightly larger than the others wore,
her cloak was unusually heavy and a
long boa was wound around her throat,
while on her feet she wore a pair of
high overshoes.
'Did you ever!" whispered Lily
Maud. 'Isn't she
guy';
Matilda
saw the whispering and the
and her lip tightened.
glance,
"I shall not yield. I shall not yield
an inch," 6he told herself defiantly.
"Did you see that?" asked Annette
Watterson, when the girls had started.
"That girl has courage and grit. I
have no fancy for that silly, chatter
ing Eet, but I shouldn't like to have
them eye me over as they did her."
There was no danger for Annette,
however, who was the only daughter
of a senator. Whatever she did was
right in the eyes of Lily Maud. It
might seem 6trange that the teachers
did not put a stop to this petty perse
cution. They did not know it was go
ing on. They saw in Matilda a grave
and serious young girl who was per
fectly respectful to them, who stood
fairly well in her classes, and who
seemed to prefer to be alone. And
she was such a relief to them that they
were prepared to grant her any rea
sonable privilege. And so, when she
modestly said that she could not prac
tice her vocal lessons in the hearing of
the other girls, they set it down to
natural timidity and permitted her to
go every day to the conservatory down
town, which was under the manage
ment of the seminary professor. The
girls wondered a little, but, on the
whole, thought nothing of it, for they
all looked upon Matilda as very or
dinary, though, with the exception of
the stylish set, they treated her with
civility.
"Matilda Bebb's father and mother
are here tosee her," announced Jennie
Thompson one afternoon. It was the
week of the spring vacation, when
few, if any, of the srirls went away.
"Oh. I am so sorry!" exclaimed An
nette Watterson. "Do you remember
last spring when Celie Dawson's par
ents came to visit her? Mr. Dawson
poured his tea into his saucer and blew
his breath over it to cool it, and he
ate with his knife, and he talked with
his mouth full, and Lily Maud and
Rose Marie and the rest giggled, and
looked at each other, and Celie turned
red and then pale, and looked as if
she'd sink. I never saw anything so
pitiful. And I've always thought that
was why Celie didn't come back this
year. And now I suppose Matilda will
have to go through the same thing,
"But not in the same way," said
Alicia Davidson. These three were the
exclusive set in the school. "Girls,
what do you sa3"? I've been watching
Matilda a good while. If she comes
out of this all right shall we make her
one of us?" Three slim right hands
were laid on the table one above an
other, and the compact was made.
In her room Matilda, who, before
the girls, was grave and serious, was
beside herself with joy. Xow, slipping
up behind her mother, bending over
her and taking her face tenderly in
her hands to kiss her, now seating her
self on her father's lap and throwing
her arms around his neck
"I declare. Mattie," said Mrs. Bebb,
"I 'most wish we'd come sooner. We
didn't know how glad our little girl
would be to see us, or we would. We
kind o' thought maybe you'd be
weaned away from us. Sonie girls
are." Mr. and Mrs. Bebb were very
plain people, but they had reasonably
good manners. They were not likely
j to do any of those dreadful things
i which, when done by Mr. Dawson,
had proved so mirth-provoKing. But if
Mr. Bebb had been a Chesterfield he
would have been funny, because he
had to be, vou know. He was Matilda
Martha's father, and she was queer,
When he seated himself at the table
at his daughter's right hand his face
was beaming with the kindly interest
he felt in all girls, because his Mattie
was one of them. And Mrs. Bebb, who
sat at Matilda's left, looked about her
with the same geniality.
To Lily Maud this was excruciating'
ly funny. The teacher again being
absent she looked ai Rose Marie and
giggled. From thir places Annette
fcnd Jennie and Alicia were watching
with anxiety. Matilda's face was
Hushing. Was she going to be ashamed
of her plain old father and mother?
No, she was not. Her head went up
imperiously. Her blue eyes flashed.
And then, with a grace and dignity
jhe had never shown before, she de
voted herself to entertaining her
father and mother. If they had been
a king and queen she could not have
shown thrm more Reference and re
spect. Mrs. Bebb saw the situation in
a moment. "Those girls are laughing
at us," she thought, and then, with
exultation: "But Mattie isn't ashamed
of us, bless her!" The supper was over
at last, and the slow moving- crowd
making its way toward the stairs.
"Won t you introduce me to your
father and mother, Matilda?"
Matilda turned to look into the
friendly eyes ol Annette Watterson.
teoffoDsT G'b wood Times.
1 ..... , . " y
, Constipation and sick headache pr-
Her eomposnra almost gave way, foi
close behind Annette she saw Jennie
and Alicia looking at her with the
same friendliness. Her lips quivered
with sudden joy, for now her parents
need not know how alone she had
been. And so the little party left the
dining-room, Annette walking with Mr.
Bebb, Alicia with Mrs. Bebb, and
Jennie with Matilda.
Ain't that funny?" cried Lily Maud.
But Rose Marie's answering giggle
had a melancholy sound. It was some
thing at the seminary to be seen walk
ing with Annette, Alicia and Jennie.
That was a memorable week for four
girls. Mr. Bebb every day gave his
daughter and her three friends some
delightful treat. It began to bo
whispered about that Mr. Bebb was
1 11; u. iiiis lb a uiisiiifto. xiif, n
not. Mr. Bebb was rich. Matilda was
happy, ner blue eyes shone. Her
healthy cheeks were rosier than ever.
Once more she was the light-hearted
girl who was glad to oblige every
body who came in her way. And so,
though she was sorely frightened at
the thought of it, she consented to sing
for the soprano on Easter Sunday, be
cause she was suddenly called away
and had no one to take her place. On
Sunday the four girls did not walk to
church with the others. They rode with
Mr. and Mrs. Bebb. The other girls
were in their places in the north gal
lery when Mr. Bebb's party entered
the church. Matilda was not with
them. Quietly, and with a beatinpr
heart, she had slipped in at the rear
entrance and up into the choir" loft.
And here Lily Maud's wandering eyes
presently beheld her.
Look!" 6he whispered, nudging
Rose Mirie. "Ain't that funny?" Rose
Marie looked, and a bewildered ex-
rr i- s
pression stole over iier iace. iaiugn
were taking such odd turns this week.
As the choir rose all eyes were fixed
on the new singer. W ho was she, this I
happy-faced, wholesome-looking youn r i
creature who seemed attuned to Easter
day? All fear had left her. She for
got the audience before her. She
stood as unconsciously as a little child
and, lifting up her heart to the
heavens, her rich, sweet, fresh voice
floated out and filled the air. It was
nothing so very difficult, but it was
exceedingly well sung, as the audience
felt, with a thrill of delight.
"She did not seem at all frightened,"
commented Annette after the service
was over.
'She sings in our choir at home," re
sponded Mr. Bebb.
"To think, Jennie," said Alicia,
that we let such a girl as Matilda go
so long witnoui recognition. a om
ashamed of it. As long as I live I
think I shall bo on the lookout for nice
girls. But I shall never be thankful
enough that we made friends with her
before we knew of her money and her
voice. We never could have done it
afterward." But there were plenty of
others who could, and did, and the re
maining weeks of the school year were
made very pleasant for Matilda. She
used to stand before herplass andlaugh
sometimes, as she looked critically at
her own reflection. "The very same
Matilda," she would say, "but not
queer any more. Who could be queer
with money and a voice?" And then
she would laugh again and look lov
ingly at the pictured faces of Annette
and Jennie and Alicia. These were the
friends who had come to her in that
hour when she had most need of
friends, who had taken her by the
hand when they supposed her to be a
poor, plain girl from a country village,
and with no future. And these were
the friends whom she felt she 6hould
love as long as she lived, for Matilda
Martha Bebb, along with her voice
and her money, had a grateful and af
fectionate heart. Chicago Interior.
"TRAMP ALL RIGHT."
Bui It TTas Queer to Find the Diversity
President In That liaise.
Dr. E. Benjamin Andrews, president
of the Brown university, a delegate to
the Brussels monetary conference and
a well-known writer on social, econom
ic and religious subjects, has never
been accused of being a dandy, and
he delights in doing just such things
as is told herewith. The Providence
delegates to the big Baptist anni
versaries at Saratoga have got back,
and they know something funny.
This is what it is:
As the Baptist train en route swung
by a little station up in lork state
the eagle-eyed operator discovered the
jure of a man stowed away on the
rear platform, hat pulled down over
his eyes, safe from view and every
thing else except the curling dust and
flying pebbles. So the operator wired
ahead to the next station as follows:
Look out for tramp on No. 56, rear
platform. Jones." The operator at
the next station promptly pulled np
the train and the conductor went to
the rear to investigate. There was
the man a big, broad-shouldered fel
low, his hat pulled down over his eyes,
covered with dust, and so generally
rough and tough looking that the con
ductor didn't hanker after a tackle.
So he sent for the brakeman. What
followed is indicated by the dispatch
which Operator Jones, at the back
station, received a few minutes after
from his brother operator. Here it is:
"Tramp all right. Going to the Bap
tist convention with a ticker. Takes
his water straight, and is president of
Brown university." N. Y. Advertiser.
Too Much Acting:.
A stage-struck youth was studying
the ' part of Hamlet for an amateur
performance, and, as is usual in such
oases everything that he said savored
somewhat of the morose Dane. It
happened that one morn in tr he came
across an excavation, with two or
three men digging below, and, with
the "gravedigger's scene" in his mind's
eye, demanded, in tragic tones:
"Whose grave's this, sir?" and paused
for a reply, but none came. Again he
demanded: "Whose grave's this, sir?4'
But this time a voice that appeared to
proceed frotu the bowels of the earth
replied: "Get out, ycr born idiot, we'rt
only layin' a g-as pipe." TiJ-Eits.
wjqnju purtauie cnuie ana tools. io re
us. io re-1
f horned
move me useiesa weapons of
cattle at ten cents per bead
THE REPUBLICAN RAISE.
It Was the Tariff Instead of the Workinjr
mD'i Waces.
McKinley, the logical candidate of
the republican party for the presi
dency, says that there are two ways of
checking importations one by impos
ing a full or prohibitive tariff and the
other by lowering wages.
Then it ought to be found that a full
or prohibitive tariff increases wages
both in the special lines of protected
industry and generally throughout
the country. McKinley made a tariff
and the result was lowered wages in
the most fully protected lines and a
tendency downward in all wage-earning
occupations. How is this?
It ought also to be instantaneously
apparent that wages are first increased
in the particular line where the pro
hibitive duty, is levied and subse
quently increased from industry to in
dustry until everybody is getting good
wages. But instead of being so in
stantaneously apparent that the intel
ligent workingman can see the swell
of increase starting from the particu
lar point and lifting the level of the
whole country, it is never apparent at
all. and the workingman must take
McKinley's word for the blessings that
attend a prohibitive rate.
In 183:2 the republican platform de
manded duties equal to the difference
in wages between the United States
and countries which might send goods
here.
Democrats at once promised that
they would not propose a tariff in this
congress which would, not give duties
to that amount. No that they agreed
to any connection between a tariff and
wages, but that they had no desire to
at once radically reduce duties to the
extent a literal compliance with the
republican platform would require. To
fit a tariff to the republican platform
it would be necessary to figure out the
cost of each protected article. For in
stance, the tariff maker must find out
how much the manufacturers here
and abroad pay for the labor emploj'ed
THEIR "NEW" LINE
THE NOISY IIIGT1 TARIFF CURBSTONE FAKIRS ARE TRYING TO DO
BUSINESS AT THE OLD STAND. Chicago Herald.
in making a ton of iron, a yard of dress
goods and a set of table china. He
would find out that the American
manufacturer pays less than the Eng
lish and a great deal less than the
Spanish or Italian.
Hence, to reduce duties to meet the
republican platform's demand would
be to abolish them altogether. Ol
course, the republicans did not intend
to demand free trade, but to construe
their platform according to the known
facts of manufacturing production
would be to liberate trade, absolutely
and finally.
Both the republican platform of 1S92
and the logical republican candidate
for 1S96 have either lied to the Ameri
can people or have exposed a singular
ignorance of facts. The second suppo
sition is a true one in McKinley's case,
lie is probably the most ignorant man
that ever led on an economic issue in
any country. He gave himself over
early to commonplace generalizations
and has done no more in his later
career.
If he knew what he was talking
about his speeches would be wretched
and ghastly examples of falsehood.
But he does not know. He prates and
prates and prates. He never debates
a definite proposition and never -et
even proposed to encounter an econ
omist. The intelligent workingman can un
horse this prater by asking him: "You
had a chance to raise wages, and why
did you only raise the tariff?" St,
Louis Republic.
l-al;or Suffers.
And how long will the country per
mit manufacturers -paying high divi
dends to themselves out of tariff taxes
imposed upon consumers to reduce
their labor to the lowest starva
tion point? The time is close at hand
when the general government will fol
low its taxes levied for the benefit of
labor as it follows all other taxes
levied upon the people and enforce the
application of those taxes for the pur
pose for which they arc levied. In
other words, if manufacturers will
not pay to labor the tariff taxes levied
upon their products distinctly for the
benefit of labor, it is the plain duty of
congress to repeal those taxes and
make the products free. ' The people
of the nation will assent to taxes
legitimately levied and applied to the
benefit of labor, but they will not as
sent to the perversion of such taxes
from labor to enrich the manufactur
ers. Philadelphia Times.
It will no longer do to tell the
people who read the newspapers and
Io their own thinking that the fear of
tariff revision caused the pania and
hard timer.. The tariff has been re
vised and business has begun to im
prove. To deny that the hard times
resulted from republican legislation is
rendered difficult when hard times be
'i:i to disappear as soon as republican
legislation begins to be undone
Louisville Courier-Journal.
in regaru to oiowiug urwniscie ana i
ringing the bell ia dieted by a
offlf
A FEW COLD FACTS.
In palatable Evidence for the
Calamity
Howlers to Swallow.
There is instruction in the record of
failures for the last nine months as
compared with the corresponding
period in previous years.
The whole number this year, accord
ing to Bradstreet's record, was 9,251,
with actual assets to 'the amount of
Sj'J, 707,031 and liabilities to the
amount of SI 10,074,349. During tJie
corresponding period last year the
number was 11,140, with assets of
227,873,231 arl liabilities of S327.275.
100. It appears, therefore, that while
the number this year is still large, the
liabilities are not much more than
one-third as great as they were last
year.
The decrease this year is not re
markable, as the comparison is made
with the period last year which in
cluded the panic months. A compari
son with the same period of 1S91,
when the country was in the high tide
of prosperity under the McKinley law,
according to the republican oracles, is
more instructive. Then the number
of failures was S.SGG, with S71.S11.320
assets and SlS3,Sll,510 liabilities. The
number was only SO. greater this year,
while the liabilities were actually 623,
130,576 less, and the proportion of as
sets to liabilities was 3 per cent,
greater.
This is a cold fact that the calamity
howlers will take good care to ignore.
A comparison of this year with last
by quarters will be not less instructive.
Following is a statement of the num
ber of failures and the amount of lia
bilities by quarters for the two years
1S94 and 1S03:
Failures. Liabilities.
1st quarter.. 3 l 3t f49.(K.0S $39.4:M.144
2d quarter.. .2.c-"vj 3.I7K 23.4iV.fil 131.4:tt5.0.".4
3d quarter... 2,73 4.W1 ai,liy.3if5 15G.414.b87
The comparison shows that both the
number of failures' and the amount of
liabilities were greater duriDg the first
Quarter of this year, after the panic,
than they were during thefitst quarter
of last year, before the panic. It also
OF FALL GOODS.
shows that both failures and liabili
ties for the second and third quarters
this j-ear were decidedly less than for
the corresponding quarters last year.
There was no panic during the first
quarter of 1S93, and yet the number of
failures and the amount of liabilities
were both greater than during either
the second or the third quarter of the
present year. In other words, there
have been less business disasters in
the same length of time since the 1st
of April this year than there were dur
ing the first quarter of 1893, when, ac
cording to the protection philosophers,
the country was still on the mountain
tcp of prosperity, where it had been
placed by the McKinley act.
The comparison shows that the panic
had nearly spent its force by the be
ginning of the present year and that
since the first quarter of the year fail
ures have not been more than ordi
narily numerous or disastrous..
This is another fact which the ca
lamity howlers will keep out of sight
as much as possible. It is a fact
which, with many others, demon
strates that under a democratic ad
ministration and policy the country
has been recovering from the disas
trous effects of the republican panic of
1S93. Chicago Herald.
POINTS AND OPINIONS.
McKinley is delivering the same
old speech a man and a speech with
one idea. Chicago Herald.
McKinley demauds full protec
tion. Irotection got loaded in 1S90.
Better let it stay sober a few years
St, Louis Republic
"Elect us to congress." say the
republicans. "We can't do any harm
because the senate and the president
wont let us." Such is the platform
of the grand old party this year.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The republicans in their plat
form denounce the income tax as a
"tax upon prosperity." Are we to in
fer that if that party comes into power
in the state it will levy the taxes upon
adversity and look to the poorhouses,
insane asylums, orphanages and the
like for the revenues? N. Y. World.
Gov. McKinley is denouncing the
democratic party for repealing the
Sherman silver law. When Grover
Cleveland gave it as his "solemn" op
tion that the Sherman law should be
repealed Gov. McKinley gave it as his
"solemn" opinion that the president
was right. Gov. McKinley ought to
keep a scrapbook--if he knows how.
Chicago Times.
It will not be in the least sur
prising if, long before the autumn of
lS9f,republican orators and republican
organs should be found eagerly pro
testing that the tariff of lt94 must not
be disturbed, practically claiming the
credit of its adoption, and solemnly
declaring, in the old, old fashion, that
those wicked democrats are danger
ous and must not be permitted to hold
power. Boston Globe.
office id Un run's furniture store.
i
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes is en
gaged daily in dictating his "Recollec
tions" to his secretary, but they are not
to be published until after his death.
Mrs Isabella Bird Bishop, the noted
traveler, is one of the British subjects
now in Corea. She is alone, and ac
cording to her last letters was not en
joying herself, having found the
Coreans the most disagreeable set of
savages she ever encountered, wide
though her experience has been.
The house in which Lindley Mur
ray, the famous grammarian of early
days, was born is still standing about
twelve miles south of Harrisburg, Pa.
It is a somewhat pretentions loghouse,
with three rooms and a sleeping loft,
built on the southern slope of a hill,
and facing the Swatara river, of which
Whittier sings. Murray's father set
tled there about 1730.
A number of letters written by
Edgar Allen Poe and never published
have just been found among the papers
of Dr. Rufus Griswold, Poe's biog
rapher. They are to be divided into
three parts, relating separately to Poe's
life in Richmond, Philadelphia, and
New York, will be edited by Prof.
George E. Woodlerry and published in
one of the magazines.
Baron "d'Anethan, who has just
been appointed to succeed Empress
Eugenie's cousin, the late Baron de
Beyens, as Belgian envoy at Paris, is a
brother-in law of the novelist, II. Rider
Haggard, as well as that of Mr. Hag
gard who is British minister plenipo
tentiary at Quito, and who. while sec
retary of legation at Washington,
married the divorced Mrs. Carrie Kin
nej, nee Carroll, whom Re subsequent
ly deserted and divorced.
Stcphane Mallarine has recently
made a novel suggestion to settle the
question of literary property. While
admitting that an author's descendants
should have no further rights than they
now have in the production of his brain,
he does not see why the publishers
should profit by what does not belong
to them, and proposes a tax by the gov
ernment on works whose copyright has
expired, the proceeds to form a literary
fund for the encouragement aud relief
of other writers.
Lord Aberdeen once left London
at midnight in a sleeping-car for the
north. In the morning, he saw a
stranger opposite him. "Excuse me,"
said the stranger, "may I ask if you
are rich?" Somewhat surprised, his
lordship replied that he was tolerably
well to do. "May I ask," continued the
stranger, "how rich you are?" "Well,
if it will do you any good to know,"
was the reply, "I suppose I have sev
eral hundred thousand pounds,'
"Well," went on the stranger, "if I
were as rich as you and snored as loud
as you, I shall take a whole car, so as
not to interrupted the sleep of others."
HUMOROUS.
The reason why people who see
what they think are ghosts never grap
ple with them is that they know it is
dangerous to hug a delusion. Boston
Tianscript.
Mr. Kilbradge (a visiting English
man) "By the1 way, Boston is within
a few hours of New York, isn't it?"
Miss Vinton (of New York) "Oh, dear,
no; it isn't within twenty years of itf
Vogue.
Jinks' Advice. Binks "The doe
tor advises short, quick runs several
times a day, but he says the exercise
will do me no good unless it has an ob
ject." Jinks "Buy a straw hat." N.
Y. Weekly.
The Stylish Bathing Suit. Kitty
"Did you hear about Fanny Swelton
falling into the water -this morning?'
Daisy "No; was she hurt?" Kitty
"Oh. no; but it ruined her new bathing
suit." Detroit Free Press.
"Dere's a fine word," said Plodding
Pete, as he laid down a piece of paper
that had been wrapped around a ham
sandwich. "Dat's a fine word, 'pro
crastinate.' What does it mean?" "It
moans ter put off." "Does it? An ter
fink of me bein' procrastinated Turn
six trains this week. Well, well!"
Washington Star.
Not a Dilemma. A young man was
giving a graphic description of an es
cape from an enraged bull. "I seized
him by the tail." he exclaimed, "and
there I was! I was atraid to hold on,
and I dare'nt let go." Between the
horns of a dilemma," ventured a lady.
"Oh, no, I wasn't between the horns at
all; and besides, he wasn't a dilemma.
He was a bull!"
Some of the qualifications needed
by the hardware man are that he
should be a plane man, possessing
hingh enuity;do business on the square;
not be a gouge in trade; should be a
tack-tician, an augurnizer, screw
pulous, file-anthro-pick, a good "catch"
if unmarried, keep a bar stocked only
with "nippers" and "punches," and try
to compass his ends so as to retire to
mower honor.s in this life. Hardware.
It was a little New Hampshire vil
lage among the mountains, where the
country store served as post ofiice, cir
culating library, shoe store and every
thing else combined, that a Boston
lady, glancing over the books, in
quired: "Have you Browning?" "No,"
said the attendant, somewhat regret
fully, and not knowing just what kind
of an article Browning might be, "we
have not." Then, more brightly: "We
have blacking and blueing, and have a
man who does whiteing. We occa
sionally do pinking. Would any of these
do?" Presbyterian Journal.
"Yes," said the parson, at tea
table, "young Jordan was out driving
with Miss Popinjay the other evening,
and his horse ran away. They were
both thrown out, and the buggy was
smashed to pieces. It was a Providentia1
escape for both of them; but I can't un
derstand how the young man came to
lose control of his horse." "He must
kave been driving with one hand," flip
pantly suggested the minister's eldest
son a wild rake of a boy. "Or, per
haps, she had the reins around hU
neck." said Edith, a shy young beauty
of sixteen, with a charming mien. And
then everybody exclaimed in chorus:
i "Why, Edith,:" Cambridge Chronicle.
This Mill has been rebuilt, nd furnished with
Machinery of the best manufacture
