31attsmoiilh Journal
TLAIT.-ilOU'l il.
NKKKAXA
THE JOKER'S PARADISE.
Things go by contraries in China, we're told;
We'd like to be there for a day:
We're weai- it writing of Incident old
That occur in the same prosy way.
There the kind servant pirl, she explodes, we
presume.
And Mows up the kerosene can.
While the mule Is kicked Into a midnight of
gloom
By the hoof of the meek hired man.
The buzz-saw rubs up against some one to see
If he's really and truly alive.
And is all mangled up to such a degree
That it can't for a moment survive.
There sons all are staid, sober, earnest young
men.
With giddy and profligate pas.
And husbands find wives who can bake now and
then
A cake quite as good as their mas'.
The old waj-back farmer comes Into the town
With a strange deck of cards In his Bleeves,
And fulls on the sharpers and does them up
brown.
As their pockets of cash he relieves.
The gun which so often brings Borrow and woe
Because It has strangely exploded.
Is blown out of sight since It really don't know
That the man whom It fools with Is loaded.
In China our jokers could take their old jokes
And turning them t'other end to
Jfiipht work them all oC on susceptible folks.
As something entirely new.
The reason there's nothing fresh under the sun
In the newspaper columns to-day
Xs because everything that may happen is done
In precise'y the old-fashioned way.
Nixon Waterman, In Chicago Journal
A HASTY JUDGMENT.
Why Gerald Changed His Opinion
of ATinjg Leighton.
"Gerald! Bless the boy, I believe
he's dreaming-."
"No, mother, not quite," Gerald
Trevor answered, arousing hastily.
"Only thinking. What was it you
wanted?"
"Young' people are apt to be think
ing- on the morning- after a party, es
pecially when they didn't pet home till
past midnight," Mrs. Trevor said, dryly.
She shrewdly suspected of whom her
6on was thinking-. "I have an errand
for you at the 6tore. These things are
wanted IVe written out the list, 60
you can't forget."
"A necessary precaution!" laughed
Gerald.
"A written list is as safe as any
body's memory," Mrs. Trevor replied,
not choosing- to argue the point.
Gerald was passing out when a young
lady hurried in to say eagerly, "Oh,
Cousin Gerald, will you do me a favor
by the way?"
"Why not, if I can? What is it?"
"Annis Leighton promised to lend
me that book of Miss I'arloa's. If you
wouldn't ruintl stopping for it I'll
write a line if you'll wait a minute,
on'y I hate to stop for anything till
the morning work is done up."
"You needn't bother. I guess 1 can
command sufiicient language to tell
Miss Leijrhton you sent me for a book
6he promised you."
"Do you really think so? Now I
shouldn't wonder a bit if it took you
nearly twenty minutes to get it said,"
remarked his second cousin demurely.
"Rut, of course, I am the more grate
ful fur your willingness to sacrifice the
time for me, and I am really very anx
ious to get that book and try house
keeping as a fine art." '
"All right. It won't be my fault if
you don't have a chance to try it by
this afternoon." Gerald answered with
a manly unconsciousness that his sen
tence would have been far more wel
come without the last words.
His mother knew better, and when
Gerald drove off thinking only that
Cousin Hattie would make a model
housekeeper for somebody, some time,
Mrs. Trevor said grimly: "You're
downright obliging. Hattie., to give him
an errand to Annis Leighton."
"He would go there anyway," Hattie
replied, shrugging her shoulders. "And
he might just as well bring me my book
and save the trip."
"You think it is a settled thing,
then?"
"You'd have thought so if you had
teen their eyes last night. Like as not
he'll ask your blessing when he comes
back."
"Well, I don't know as I'm sorry."
Mrs. Trevor remarked slowly. "Annis
is a guod girl, though not the girl Fd
have chosen. I'm no admirer of blue
stockings myself, and from all I can
hear Annis reads more books every
year than I've read in all my life. I
don't know where she gets the time, I
am sure. My housework keeps me
busy. I don't know what sort of a
cook she is, nor how she keeps things.
Still she's a good girl, friendly to every
body, a good chnrch member, and
smart as can be, if a body likes to hear
a young girl talk ' about science and
politics and such like men's business.
Gerald likes it, and no doubt when she's
married she'll take a pride in herhouse
Veeping, too. I'm not going to com
plain." "I'm sure I've seen prettier girls,"
commented Hattie, glancing- at the
mirror.
"She'll do well enough," Mrs. Trevor
answered dryly. fcihe knew Hattie
would have been quite willing, but in
her secret heart the mother was rather
glad Gerald had chosen some one else.
"Hattie's a nice girl, I know," she told
herself, "but 1 like Annis's frank, out
epoken vays best. It isn't best for
pirl's to e so smooth and shrewd and
almost sly- H Gerald could only have
fancied Tellie East now but boys will
choose for themselves and not for their
mothers.'
Meanwiile Gerald was whistling hap
pily alonr the road, forgetting all about
Hattie anl her good housewifery, for
getting eilie East, though he had met
her and had noticed how neat and
pretty ah; was forgetting everything
but Anns, bright, keen-witted Annis,
who coul hold her own with any man
in town on almost any topic wise,
queenly, jentle Annis, who had not a
peer In tb world, he was sure. How
enjhan ting had been their conversation
last night! How her eyes sparkled with
intelligence and sympathy! How pret
ty her home was that little brown cot
tage with its broad porches covered
with vines and bowered in flowery
shrubs! She would be all alone in the
pretty sitting-room, he knew, for Mrs.
Leighton was away, and the lively
brothers would be at school or in the
held with their father. Annis would
be alone, sewing, or perhaps busy with
her books or music lie knew just how
fresh and pure and dainty she would
look. He must be careful not to stay
too long, but why the door was open!
Should he steal softly upon her, or
He stood still in the open doorway, in
utter amazement, and not untinged
with displeasure. The pretty sitting
room, hitherto always so neat and
dainty, was now unswept, nndusted
and in decided confusion. Worse yet,
through a half-open door could be 6een
the breakfast table still covered with
the morning's dishes over which the
flies buzzed merrily. What did this
mean? Half-inclined to retreat, he
knocked loudly.
There was a sudden stir, and in a
moment Annis came out of her room.
Her crumpled dress, disordered hair
and sleepy eyes told plainly of a morn
ing's nap, though after that first start
she came forward to greet him as grace
fully as ever-
"You find me rather a lazy bones this
morning," she said, brightly, though
coloring slightly as she closed the dining-room
door. "Come in, please."
"No, 1 won't detain you," Gerald an
swered, stiffly, thinking how his moth
er resented an interruption before her
house was in order. "I only called by
Hattie's request for a book she said you
promised to lend her."
"Oh, yes!" brightly as ever, though
the pink deepened on her cheeks. "It
is here, I think. Hattie seems to take
a great interest in cooking-."
"Yon are not ill this morning?" he
asked, almost anxiously.
"Oh. no! Quite well, only tired Here
is the book. Wait one moment till I
pick a bunch of roses for your mother."
He waited, but the charm was broken.
The untidy house, unwashed dishes,
disordered hair and crumpled dress
were fatal flaws in his peerless dia
mond. Asleep at that hour in the
morning, with the work all undone!
To be sure, it was late w hen they got
home last night. She might be excused
for wanting a nap, but surely the
breakfast table Slight have been
cleared first. He was sorely disap
pointed in her, and showed it in spite
of himself when she brought the rose
with that arch unconscious smile.
"Thank you. Mother will like them.
I am sorry you found last night's pleas
ure so fatiguing."
Annis flashed a 6harp glance into his
face and then stepped back with a
changed expression.
"I think 1 shall survive it," she an
swered, coldly.
Gerald didn't whistle any going home,
and the keen-eyed mother saw at once
something was wrong. What it was
was not so easy to say. Hattie had a
Strong suspicion. Had not Mrs. Green
whispered to her last night: "1 expect
the Leighton's '11 be glad when their
ma gets home. Annis neglects the
housework shameful. Always on the
go. When she ain't off enjoying her
self somewhere, she's over helping those
sick Thompsons. Well, charity's all
very well, but I say charity begins at
home, and a woman's first duty is to
keep her own home decent."
Yes. Hattie had a suspicion, bat if
Gerald said nothing, why should she?
So she studied Miss Parol a and mani
fested great interest in cooking- and
housewifery with a clear conscience.
Nor were there any definite results
to arouse her self-reproach. Gerald
praised her progress when it was called
to his attention, and ate her fancy
cooking unconsciously when it was not,
but never approached nearer love-making
than to remark gayly that some
body would have a treasure of a wife
by and by. He had no fancy in that
line himself. Because one's diamond
proves mere paste, shall one snatch up
the first pebble that lies in his way?
It was nonsense to think of Annis
any longer, hah! What sort of a
home would a man have with such a
wife. He could not see her now, how
ever fresh and dainty her dress might
be, without thinking- of that disorderly
room and unwashed dishes. He even
noticed or was it Hattie's remark that
made him notice that a tiny rent care
lessly made in her pretty blue muslin
on the night of the party was still there
when she wore the dress again several
days after. Jove, what a housewife
she would be. Yet he was no more in
clined to marry a mere household
drudge than before. He felt more in
clined to swear eternal celibacy.
But fate threw pretty Nellie East in
his way presently one of the sweetest,
most modest girls in town, and known
to be her mother's right hand First, an
unruly horse acted as Cupid's assistant,
then a pelting storm in which Gerald's
umbrella proved a welcome refuge
After that I suspect good Mrs. Trevor
had a hand in causing several meetings,
until Gerald's increasing fancy made
further strategy unnecessary, and in a
few months from the time of that
morning call Nellie was Gerald's prom
ised wife.
If Annis wore the willow she did not
proclaim the fact. She carried herself
throughout with herown bright, gentle
independence. . and remained on the
mcst friendly terms with Nellie, though
tool and even a little disdainful some
times toward Gerald. Then, one day
came a revelation Gerald never forgot.
It was at a sociable. Some one had
criticised the absent Annis as a "blue
stocking" too wrapt up in her books to
be a practical friend or housewife,
when old Mrs. Thompson flushed up
indignantly.
"A 'blue-stocking' is she? Well,
maybe, but she's ten times over the
friend in trouble that some of your
spick-and-span fine housekeepers be.
She'd rather read her book than scour
her kitchen floor, I s'pose, and no
shame to her either. She's got brains
enough to understand books" (with a
malicious insinuation in the tone.)
"But when our folks were so &ick la&t
June she was over there all but day
and night. Just hurry through the
work at home skimp it, too and over
thed come. Yes, I know you ladies
couldn't spare time, you was so
busy scrubbin your doorsteps and
makin' yonr lemon pies. But Annis
Leighton ain't that sort. She don't let
her neighbors die for want of help
while she's fussing and primping. She
could quiet our Charlie when nobody
else could, and she nigh wore herself
out doing it, too. You mind the night
of Drew's party? Annis had been with
us pretty near all the night before, and
half the day. She would go to the
party because she said they were 'lot
ting on her for some charades or some
thing, but the minute she got back she
changed her dress and ran over to our
house. She stayed till daylight. Then
she went back and got breakfast, and
was so dead tired she laid down while
the boys ate, and when they finished
she was fast asleep. They went off
without waking her, and I believe
she'd 'a slept all day if somebody hadn't
happened to come and wake her.
That's the kind of neighbor Annis
Leighton is. She told me once she
hadn't opened a book nor sewed a
stitch for a fortnight except a little
mending she did for me. She said her
own fixing- could wait."
Gerald escaped from the room at the
first opportunity. He was confound
ed, dazed and bewildered. Was this
Annis Leighton, the girl he had
spurned despised and deserted be
cause, forsooth, she was worn out with
generous toil for others?
What a horrible injustice, what a
cruel wrong he had done her! And now
it was too late to repair it. He was en
gaged to Nellie East. The cruelty
must go on, and who knew how she
might suffer? In his bewilderment he
almost ran against Annis herself, com
ing slowly up the street, and involun
tarily a part of his feeling broke forth.
"Annis, I have Just heard just dis
covered what a blind fool I was. Can
you ever forgive me?"
"What for?" Annis asked with
startled eyes.
"For misjudging you so that day I
called for the cookbook for thinking
that a neglected house meant idleness,
when it really meant unselfish devotion
to the comfort of others."
"Oh! You have found that out at last,
have you?" she said, with an amused
smile.
"Why didn't you tell me then, An
nis?" "You didn't ask me and I hate brag.
Besides I was provoked I thought you
would find out some time."
"Yes, now when it is too late to do
any good," Gerald muttered, under his
breath.
Annis heard, however, and the soft
color he remembered so well tinted her
cheek again.
"And why too late?" she asked quick
ly, a bright fearless meaning in her
glance. "We are both very much alive
yet, and may be for years to come
and I like to be respected now as much
as I did then. Besides, Wg-g-ing- your
pardon, I think a man ought to learn
that appearances are deceitful before
he is married, and not to be blindly
accusing his wife of waning affection
because her corns ache or of hypocrit
ical machinations because she is plan
ning a birthday surprise. Nellie is so
sensitive, it would hurt her cruelly."
How lightly she spoke! But Gerald
could not so easily drop the graver
view of the case.
"I shall never forgive myself. Such
a stupid blunder to have altered per
haps the whole course of two or three
lives!" he said and then could have
bitten out his tongme for such presump
tuous clumsiness.
But Annis only laughed, and her an
swer was as frankly bold as his words.
"Oh, well, there is no harm done
though more by luck than good man
agement, I grant No need to regret.
Nellie is fair and true and tender
enough for any man, no matter where
you find him. And I well, Ernest
Howells is good enough for me, at any
rate!"
"Brother Howells the young minis
ter? Are yoa engaged to him?" Ger
ald gasped, a sense of great relief cu
riously blended with keen mortifica
tion that he should have been replaced
so soon if, indeed, he had ever had
the sure place he fancied in her affec
tions. Annis assented, a happy pride in her
dark ej-es. No wonder. That young
minister, earnest, eloquent and fear
less, was a man of whom sweetheart or
wife might well be proud
"1 congratulate you," Trevor said, as
soon as he recovered his breath.
"Then you will find it easier to forgive
me, since there has been no harm be
yond a passing vexation."
" 'Good to forgive, better to forget,' "
quoted Annis, lightly. "Though I sup
pose we had better remember the les
son. It isn't safe to rely on Providence
to save us from the consequences of our
own blunders. I, for one, don't pro
pose to go to parties again till the
house is in decent order. There's Nel
lie. Dear little girl! I'm going to tell
her that you and I are friends again!"
Ada E. Ferris, in Arthur's Home
Magazine.
A Sad Time for Actors.
The critic met the old-school actor on
the highway, and observing a pale
melancholy in the face of the Thespian,
he said: "What's the matter, Hm
leigh? You look blue."
"I am blue," returnea Hamleigh.
"These new-school actors are knocking
us old fellows completely out."
"What seems to be the trouble?"
asked the critic.
"I am not educated cp to tb stan
dard," said Hamleigh. "A man to be a
good actor nowadays has got to swim
in real water, or ride in a race, or nian
age a buzz saw, or be an expert farm
hand I can't swim, ride, or milk cova.
and I am as afraid as of death of a buzz
saw. Result, ruin!" Harper's Maga
zine. The common clover furnishes an
excellent illustration of the sleep of
plants. Every evening as the sun goes
down two leaves fold together, face to
face, while the third closes over them.
GRASPING AT STRAWS.
Republican Exuberance Over the Rhode
Island Election.
One of the encouraging 6igns for de
mocracy is the eagerness with which the
opposition seizes upon the slightest po
litical event that can be tortured into
evidence of popularity regained with
the people. The republican organs of
high and low degree are especially
jubilant over the news from Rhode
Island. A clear view of the situation
fails to justify their exuberance. The
republicans were in a minority at the
previous state election in Rhode Island,
but they were in power and simply as
serted the right of possession, despite
the fact that they were outvoted by
the democracy. The democrats of that
tate polled about the same vote that
hey did a year ago, but six thousand
new republicans put in an appearance
from some unexplained quarter and
scored a victory.
If it could only be assured that this
new vote was brought out by patriotism
and not by cash the outlook for the re
publicans in Rhode Island would be
more encouraging. They held the
government as against a superior num
ber of democrats, and it is better for
the reputation of the state that they
have a title which they can defend
upon moral as well as legal grounds.
But experience enables every reading
man to understand the political re
actions and to realize that they go to
the feelings rather than the convic
tions of the people. Time and again
the voice of the electorate has made
itself heard with results such as those
recorded in the recent elections. There
is little in the election of a constable,
an assessor or even a mayor to indicate
a change of belief as to the merits of
the tariff question or a sound financial
Eysteui.
It would be idle to say that there is
SOWING
THE n ARYEST.
not unrest and disssatisfaction result
ing from causes which voters are not
analyzing with the same care which
they will exercise when their votes
upon the national issues are to be cast.
By many the ills that exist are hastily
charged to the administration, though
they had their origin in a system which
at the last national election the people
of the country denounced with a near
er approach to unanimity than any
party has attained in years There is
dissatisfaction because some of the
f-ervants of the people at Washington
ar-e not complying with the orders
they have received from those who are
tk real rulers of the country, and
titre has been an expression of resent
ment. But all this does not go to the root of
the matter. Men do not abandon a
creed because some of those professing
it prove unworthy, nor do they surren
der political convictions because some
of those whom they have trusted prove
recreant. The evils of a protective
tariff are as great as they ever were,
and at no previous time have their dis
astrous effects been so apparent. The
menace to a sound and honest financial
system was never more aggressive than
it now is. The wrath of the people
will le visited upon those who have
betrayed them, not upon the principles
which they indorse or the party which
is wommitted to the support of such
priociplcs. Republicans are united by
the cohesive power of plunder and have
no higher purpose than to be in power.
Democracy is the par-y of independent
thought, and when it expresses indig
nation at men or methods it has no
thought of abandoning the great work
of reform on which the safety of the
jrovernmect depends. Detroit Free
1 'ress.
There is much more at stake in
the national senate than a difference
of tariff percentages on the various
classes of foreign imports. The as
sault maU;1 by the group of so-called
"conservative" senators upon the very
vital.-, of the tariff-reform bill free
coal, free iron, and lead ore, and free
suar brings into view this funda
mental question: Can the govern
ment be rescued from the corrupting
domination of privileged wealth under
which a generation of republican rule
Las placed it? Baltimore Sun.
'''' y
- -
A RIOT BREEDER.
American laborers Damaged by the ITo
tection Poller.
Perhaps there is no more serious men
ace to American institutions than is to
be found in the conditions prevailing
in the mining district of Pennsylvania,
where the late riots have thrown an
extensive community into a state of
terror and almost of anarchy. The
latest phase of the strike is that the
Huns -and Slavs accuse the Irish and
Germans of having worked up the riots
in order to create prejudice against the
former, and thus secure their expulsion
from the region. Thus the conflict is
seen to be one in which foreign popu
lations fight out their national differ
ences. Under our high protective system we
have carefully excluded the product of
the "pauper" labor of Europe, but we
have thrown wide our gates to the
paupers themselves, and the American
laborer has no protection against the
competition of a class of men whose
antecedents and native surroundings
render them dangerous to free institu
tions, as well as incapable of properly
assuming the responsibilities of Ameri
can citizenship. The Poles, the Huns,
the Italians, the Russian Jews come
among us and establish their own com
munities. They drive out the Amer
ican laborer, because they are accus
tomed to live more meanly than he,
and will work for less wages than he.
The protectionists who hire them pre
tend that their object in asking protec
tion is chiefly to make wages higher,
and Tom Reed, of Maine, who is the
spokesman of this party, announces a
new school of political economy which
makes wages the measure of a coun
try's prosperity; because, he says, un
less wages are high, wage-earners will
not spend much money. That is the
whole argnment offered by him. Yet
THE SEED.
Chicago Herald
in the most highly protected region of
the United States labor riots are of
more frequent occurrence than any
where else in the land, and these riots
are invariably the work of pauper
Europeans, -s ho have come here to be
employed by the men whose solicitude
for the wages of labor does not prevent
their employing this troublesome and
irresponsible class, because this class
works for less wages than our own peo
ple will work for.
It is a serious question this grafting
onto the Anglo-Saxon stock of the in
ferior and deteriorated races of Europe.
The men and women who mide Amer
ica great were not bred from that class
of Europeans who supply the rioters
and the anarchists of the world The
infusion of such blood can only do
harm, as harm it has already done.
This country welcomes honest men,
men capable of comprehending what it
means to be a member of a common
wealth that guarantees individual lib
erty to every member; but it has no
piace for the ignorant hordes whose in
stincts rise little higher than those of
hungTy wolves. Louisville Courier
JournaL Republican Lies.
Every intelligent person knows that
for the past two years the republican
newspapers of the country, almost
without exception, have been asserting
that the public debt was decreased
under Harrison by a much larger
amount than under Cleveland The
amount usually given is $75,000,000. If
any correspondent questions and asks
for the figures he is given those of a
bonded debt, the republican editor
paying no attention to the increase in
the unbonded debt. This erroneous
statement has been reiterated so often
that there is no republican, and hardly
a democrat, who has not accepted it as
true. It is useless to show a republic
an that he has been lied to. Lies are
his daily food. But there is no reason
at the present time, when he is not ex
cited over political matters, why he
should not have a little truth thrown
at him, and the proof that the public
debt was decreased under Cleveland
502,000.000 more than under Harrison
made so plain that the next time he as
serts the contrary it will give him a
pain in the neck. N. Y. World
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.
The Christian church has one
preacher in the foreign field for each
t.wo hundred at home.
The gifts of Christian Endeavor so
cieties to the American board and the
woman's board, during- 1S33, amounted
to $13,535.
In the United States and British
America there are 33,17 Sunday
schools. These are attended by over
10,000,000 pupils.
Of the 84.276 Protestant clergymen
of England and Wales, only 222 are of
foreign birth; while of the 2,511 Rom
ish priests. 305 are of foreign birth.
London is stirred over a discussion
touching religious instruction in the
public schools. The non-sectarian in
fluence in school matters is growing.
The Evangelist relates that when
somebody once asked Dr. Philip Schaff
how he was able to accomplish so
much literary work, he replied laugh
ingly: "Oh, that's easy. You must
get up early and sit up late, and keep
awake all day."
The pennant for last spring's New
York state intercollegiate field day has
at last been officially awarded to Syra
cuse. The reason for the delay was
that there was some dispute as to the
eligibility of certain contestants. The
field day this spring- will be held in
Syracuse, May 30.
Teaching the children temperance
should be an important department of
school work. There are encouraging
signs of the excellent work done for
the good cause in the instruction in
regard to the effect of alcohol on the
human system, which is in practice in
all state schools, and all states and ter
ritories except six. Pittsburgh Cath
olic The late Mr. S. M. Hamilton, of
Baltimore, Md.. bequeathed $20,000 to
the trustees of the Seventh Baptist
church, of that city, the interest of
which is to be used in city mission
work, under the direction of that
church. The Seventh church has, in
addition, some $10,000 at interest, which
will enable it to do a fine work in city
evangelization.
The city of Charleston, S. C, has
six public schools, four for whites and
two for negroes. The white schools
are as large and commodious as those
for the colored pupils. The population
of the city is five-twelfths white and
seven-twelfths colored. Owing to the
fact that so many colored pupils have
to be turned away, two large private
schools have just been established
where payment is required, one having1
2:J0 and the other 400 pupils.
Dr. F. E. Clark, president of the
United Society of Christian Endeavor,
is receiving a fund for the erection of a
Christian Endeavor Technical school in
Japan. It is to be in connection with
the earthquake orphanage of Yoko
hama, in which two hundred of the
children orphaned by the terrible
earthquake are leing sheltered The
work of feeding, clothing- and educat
ing the children is conducted on faith,
like the Bristol orphange, which George
Muller founded.
In Madrid recently Don Andres
Gomes, a dean of the church, was
flogged with all the ceremonials exac
tions of the ancient form. After ex
pressing repentance for having been a
freemason he was taken in solemn pro
cession, led by priests and friars, to
the official residence of the bishop,
wher his upper garments were taken
off. As he knelt the bishop whipped
him with cords over the bare shoul
ders, while the priests chanted
"Miserere MeL"
Hitherto the English and American
Bible societies have enjoyed the priv
ilege of circulating magazines and
tracts and of maintaining- traveling'
agents in Russia. But recently the
various establishments at Kief and
other large cities in the dominions of
the czar have been closed by the police,
the doors locked and sealed, and the
t employes ejected. Moreover, steps are
: now leing taken to put a stop to the
facilities which the societies have hith
erto enjoyed in the exercise of their
labors and in the extension of the
sphere of their operations.
Thinking of Something Else,
i Judge Peterby is very absent
minded. An interesting family event,
i which had been expected for some
' time, had occurred. The judge was at
: his desk studying- some abstruse
j problem when the door opened, and
servant announced that it was a boy.
! "What is his name, and what does he
' want? Is he a messenger boy?" asked
j the judge absent-mindedly. Alex.
sweet, in lexas suungs.
As Oood as Dead.
He What's this terrible thing I
hear? I am told that you are not a
widow, but a married woman with a
husband still living and yet you have
engaged yourself to me.
She Don't let that worry you, my
love. We will never meet him. He
does not move in our set. Puck.
Cnrtons.
"nave you got any brothers?"
"Yes, one."
"That's strange! I was just talking
to your sister and she said that she had
two brothers." Hello.
A Delicate Question.
First Girl Don't trust Jack, he's a
g-ay deceiver.
Second Girl Do you speak from ex
perience? Hallo.
No man is a greater stickler for
honesty than the grocer who dispenses
thirty-eight cent and forty cent butter
out of the same tub. Puck.
The power of steam was discovered
by a Florentine officer, who was idly
experimenting- with a glass bottle and
a few drops of water.
The first line of Eusian railrcad
was opened from St. Petersburg to
Charsko-Selo, in 1S37, a distance of six
teen miles.
Albert is from the Saxon, meaning1
All Bright; thirty-two king and
princes hare borne this name.