PAGE FOUR PLATTSMOTJTH SEMI -WEEKLY JOTJBNAL THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1922. XZbz plattsmoutb journal PUBLISHED SEMI-WEEKLY AT PLATTSMOUTIL, NEBRASKA Entered at I'ostoffice. Plattemouth. Neb.. a second-class mail matter - a R. A. BATES, Publisher SUBSCRIPTION PRICE S2.00 An apartment home. is no place like "Why is it bills never miscarry in the mauls. :o: It's easy to chase any man you get on the run. :o: A woman's idea of economy is to have things charged. :o: The mule is very apt to bo behind with his business affairs. :o: Black face comedians are among those born to blush unseen. :o: Every man is more or ltss a gos sip but he refuses to admit it. :o: The great silence you hear is peo ple discussing the Arbuekle trial. :o: Signs of spring: Patches of base ment floor peeping through the coal pile. :o: It never rains o nthe unjust if he can get hold of the just man's um brella. :o: From the fruit preservers we get our jams and from the wet goods dealer our jim jams. :o: - Advices from the south indicate that the first robin Is advancing north slowly but surely. :o: Now that the pope is elected and the arms conference is over, more attention can be given to spring gar dens and the weather. :o: It may l.e freely admitted that the Los Angeles reporters are energeti" enough in the Taylor murder case whether the police are or not. :o: The suggestion to burn Holly wood up or down would be .well enough, were it not for the suspic ion gained from current dispatches that Hollywood is too :o: 'wet" to burn. Governor Russell of Mississippi, seems to be in a tad box, and his ex lady love i-imply waited till Falty Arbuekle got off the front page to air the wily governor, and make him pay the price of his folly. :o: B. C. Forbes says conditions are improving, in spite of the doleful ness of many people. It is hard for him to reconcile the anxiety about European business when the British pound sterling is today higher than it has been at any time in two years. o:o A certain dentist has introduced the practice of pulling teeth (to mu sic. For an absolutely appropriate accompaniment he might revive that old favorite, "The Battle of Prague," which all young ladies of fashion us ed to perform. The cannon would muffle the yells, and the movement 'entitled "Groans of the. Dying" come in as a fitting finale. "It don't take a man long to bag his pants at the knees, and to make a finely tailored suit look thoroughly disrepu table that's the man of it," avers Dainty Dorthy. but she goes on to eipiaiu that the man who is making use of our cleaning, steaming and pressing services is keep ing his clothes in much more presentable condition than when he got acquainted with us. And it doesn't cost much, either. Goods Called for and Delivered RMON iljournal office lob PER YEAR IN ADVANCE Bullion is a bubble that is easily punctured. :o: London bridge has a rent roll of 5750,000 a year. o: o Some of the modern traveling kits are full grown cats. :o: The unwelcomo guesfc is generally the last one to realize it. :o: Some bare-faced lies are old en ough to wear full beards. :o: A philosopher is one who doesn't complain of other people's troubles. o :o About the only emergency a lot of fellows ever arise to is the alarm clock. -:o:- Vou can't be polite nowadays with out somebody wondering what you want. :o: The best way to be siire of getting ud in the world, as to get up in the morning. :o: As a rule people buy oil stock and then investigate. Even Plait tsmouth is aware of that. :o: The trouble with sober second thought is that it frequently arrives too late to be useful. :o: When the honeymoon is on the wane', she begins to find him out nearly every night. :o: . Winter in the middle west is com ing to be like some people's troubles most of it never happens. :o: It is said that there are over 2, 000,000 bachelors in the United States. Cupid must be losing his aim. :o: "Imprisonment gives me -a chance to find myself," says Madeline Oben chain. She knows where she is at. :o: : Why didn't the Russians think to print their rubles in bright colors? It would have been more cheering. -J :o: The girls did a lot of knitting during the war. But now the boys who fought yarns. our war are spinning -o:n- Mrs. Asquith says American wo men are linferior to he American men. Don't kid us Margot tell that to W. L. George. :o: There are several millions unem ployed in .this country, but the wo man with a family of small children is not among them. :o: We may as well begin a". ready to listen to tales of how the killing frosts of spring have killed JT all the peaches and kept up the prices. : :o: The man who married his mother-in-law certainly took a round-about way of getting even. We would like to hear the outcome of that case. :o: We do a lot of fool things, we saw a man take off his overcoat, hang it over his arm and step on the penny scales to get weighed the other day. :o: Officials of the esteemed Police Ga zette have, been fined for printing some of the things you read while waiting your turn at the barber shop. :o: Considering the fact that the world is moving at the rate of 66, 000 miles per hour, isn't it strange how easy it is for trouble to keep up with a man? :o: - A man was arrested on the streets of Zion City the other'day for smok ing a cigar. There are some brands of cigars (the smoking of which is a crime anywhere. to: Why worry? The chance of being killed on a railroad train is only one in 5.673,000. You are in much grav er danger of being sued by some wo man for seduction. o:o . The government has gradually re duced the number of federal officials and employes until there are now only half a million of them. Looks like a safe margin. :o: It has just about gotten so In this country when a woman gets old en ough to quit worrying over her hus band's absence she begins worrying over her daughter's. - . : :o: Margot Asquith Hkes men better than women, because, she says, wo men are o undecided. And 6be is right. Same wooden change their hus band's find very day. One reason that Washington could bold the record for truthfulness i6 because he did not have to make any campaign speeches to be elected pres ident and had no tincome tax returns to make out. :o: Henry Ford says the modern flap per is all right, and that should set tie it. Mr. Ford knows so much about small cars and nitrate plants that it is inevitable he would know all about young women. :o: Possibly Mr. Newberry is not en joying the senate as fully as if noth ing had been satid how he got in, but it beats going to the penitentiary and talking to a pardon attorney about how to get out. ;o: . According to the theory of our fee a: rabbins officials Nebraska can surround herself with a stone wall and live alone. We are destined to learn to our bitter sorrow, however. that It can't be done. :o: Charlie Chaplin had a $100,000 credit balance with a New York brokerage house that went into bank ruptcy the other day. If Charlie can find anything funny in this he Is truly a great comedian. :o: Carter Glass emphatically and cir- cumstancially denies that the feder al reserve bank "deflated" the farm er. Then who did it? The farmer in sists in a large continuous and un failing voice that he was deflated. . :o: Atlanta has banned the "shimmy" dance; Zion City has (flattened out the the world and the Kentucky leg islature is going to abolish ancestors and the Darwin heresy. Who says the world isnt progressing? Or mov ing, anyway? -:o: Senator Kellog's statement that a mutton chop costs more in a Wash ington hotel than a sheep costs In Colorado may be accurate, and then you don't have to tip the Colorado ranchman for each sheep he secorts toVthe market. :o: ' Well, the Hollywood investigation wanders a little further away from the Taylor murder every day. Per haps at the risk of a break in the continuity there should be a flash back to keep the audience from for getting what the thing is" all about. :o: For the broadening of Mary Miles Minter's newly discovered art it U a pity that this twinkling screen star was not in rushing distance of a mirror so that she could have dis covered what the frozen expreseioa on her face when she saw that Mablfl Normand beat 'her to it and fainted dead away right there in front of the whole show at the Taylor funeral. ,o: One sartorial observer disputes that statement that President Hard ing is the "best dressed man in Washington." Indeed, says this cri tic, the president does not qualify as even well dressed, inasmuch as ne wears his trousers too long, so that they bunch around "his ankles. Well, we move to amend, making "-best dressed" to read "best covered." Will this satisfy the raging critic? :o: At a convention of New England hair dressers one speaker said .that a red iheaded (person has about 90,- 000 hairs growing out of the scalp. Press dispatches from New Orleans say Miss Birkhead is red haired. We mention this merely for the informa tion of Gov. Russell of Misslsippi. A man who has no more sense than to stir up the enmity of a red headed woman deserves to lose his office. :o: One branch of the Kentucky leg islature has passed a bill prohibit ing the teaching of the Darwin the ory of evolution in the schools and colleges of that state. There will now be a mad rush of Kentuckians to find out what the Darwin theory is about. o.o We can famish you Drank books most any kind at Journal office. LUNGARDIA is "without a rival" in ordinary or deep-seated Coughs and Colds, difficult breathing, and for the relief of whooping cough. The wonderful results following its use will astonish you and make you its life-long friend. Your money back, if you have ever used its equal. Danger lurks where there is a cough or cold. Safe for all ages. 60c and $1.20 per bottle. Manufactured by Lungardia Co., Dallas, Texas. For sale by . Weyrich & Hadraba Your Boy Can Earn from $1.00 to ' $10.00 a Week. J Nothing to sell. No money required. Quick, easy Just an hour or so af ter school. We want good, honest, industrious boys just two in each town and commounity. Write TO DAY for further particulars, a post card will. do. Address Oox 240, Platttmouth Uebxaska THE CASE OF MR. WILSON The other day in Boston a tele gram was delivered to Harold D. Wilson. The telegram was signed "Blair, Commissioner," and was dat ed at Washington. It merely said: "You are hereby removed from posi tion head prohibition field force for Massachusetts at close of business Jan. 27. You are instructed to turn over office," etc. Mr. Wilson seems to have landed on the outside of his of fice with a loud noise and an inter view for all the Boston papers. And the more interviews he hands out the more embarrasing it gets for repub lican Massachusetts. Mr. Wilson says that before he was dicharged he was offered a bet ter job in the prohibition enforce ment service elsewhere: "If I am so tempermentally unfit, why tender me a similar job anywhere an the United States other than Massachus etts? Do we require a different kind of law enforcement officials' in this commonwealth than any other state in the Union?" Commissioner Blair admits that he offered to make Mr. Wilson a general prohibition agent in another 6tate, ibut declares at a subsequent time, "It is evident ifrom his statements that he tempermen tally is unfit for the position which we tender him." All this would sound like a squab ble of small importance but for an added feature tr two. One of these is revealed tin the comment of Lieuten ant Governor Fuller of Massachus etts: "Wilson may have talked too much, tout it is my opinion that if he had not raided the Quincy House he would nat have been fired." Accord ing to the Springfield Republican, Mr. Fuller said that if Wilson had 'pursued the regular channels in raiding the Quincy House his pro would have been given advance in formation." Incidentally, Mr. Wil son's successor is alleged to have served time in the reformatory at Concord a quarter of a century ago, although he has lived an exemplary life since that time. The charge then was theft from the mails. Within more recent years the new prohibi tion officer has held positions in the office of the government Fuel Com mission, In the United States' Treas ury department, and was prominent ly connected with several religious and church organizations. As for Mr. Wilson, he proposes to make all sorts of trouble at the elections this year. :o: We rather .admire Senator Tom Watson, now, more for his courage than anything else. He Is making it hot for the republicans w.ho voted for the admission of Newberry as a member of the senate, and was not a bit lackward in his defence of right and against wrong. He as now after Secretary Mellon's scalp. He says the secretary of the treasury is holding this -position illegally, and according to the constitution of the United States he should 'be called up on to resign. He is more than twen ty times a millionaire, with so many irons in the fire 4 hat it makes him disqualified for the position. Go for them, Tom. Give it to them right and left, and the people will stand by you. :o: In 1921 $800,000,000 worth of automobiles and accessories were stolen in the United States, $30, 000,000 worth in New York alone. One of the New York's army of as sistant district attorneys in report ing the figures declares that auto mobile thievery is organized on a countrywide basis "and along Stan dard Oil methods of efficiency." He states that the high powered cal more than anything else is responsi ble for the Increase in these crimes. He suggests the creation of a stat and national clearing house for the detection of automobile thieves. The advent of the automobile has facili tated crime as well as pleasure. :o: . That Indian chief who died the other day at the age of 187 years doesn't impress Arthur Brisbane. The chief could remember the war of 1812 and was married eight times. But, says Brisbrane, "In the whole 137 years he lived less .than Keats lived in that one night when he read through "Chapman's Homer!' In his 137 years of life he knew less of life than Napoleon knew in ten seconds as he took the crown in his own hands and put it on his head." And yet the Chippewa chief knew more happiness than-either Keats or Na poleon. :o: President Harding says that the conference at Washington ha "drawn the indictments of national dishonor." Burke, more wisely, de clared, "I do not know the method of drawing up an indictment against, a whole people." But we live and learn. - Yet there must have been "some" evolutionary process from Burke to 'Harding. :o: , ALFALFA HAY FOR SALE On ray. farm two miles east of Mur--T. H. Pollock, Plattamouth. 2tw WHY HARD TIMES? What started this busane,ss depres sion? Long haired economists ad- vance different theories. j One theory. is that prices and pros- perity and hard times travel in cy-, cles ike the teeth of a saw, roughly j 20 vears ud 30 years down. This theory is advanced by economists who have noted that panics come periodically. I during periods of prosperity, go on, ,a spending jag. Then the thrift , in-; stinct, Which makes squirrels hoard nuts for winters; asserts itself. Peo-j pie stop buying, production falls off,' men are thrown out of work. j Psychologists' step in at this point and talk about "social hysteria" the emotional waves that periodical ly sweep a nation or the world and start wars, religious revivals, danc ing epidemics and reform movements like prohibition. - : Supporting this theory: The pres-' ent world depression first showed it self, faintly in India, early in 1920. It broke out violently in the Japan ese silk market in March, 1920. ;t rav eled round, the world. .reached us two months later. None of these theories get to the bottom of the matter. The fin?t symp tom .of business depression in Amer ica -was the "overall parade." It was a red flag warning that people were about to stop buying. ; Why did they stop? High prices were only partly 'to mame. i'eopie flush ' with money, will pay any price, as long as they get real value. The overall parades started when people discovered that, in most cases they couldn't get certain articles of clothing of good quality at any price. You recall those days. It seemed that nearly everything went to piecos lmt , n a st xvaa nut to n?p When all is said and done, the causes of hard times are spiritual. r,very acnuu -i.as, au ti..,, counteracting reaction. There are rare exceptions, proving the rule, but the great underlying law of econom - ics is what Emerson called the i of compensation we get no iiifir i out of life than we give. Honest value and hard work pro duce prosperity. After a while, pros perity makes many, people reckless- ly, greedy and dishonest. The reac - tion from this is hard times, sent by wise providence to cleanse our economic, morals. You've noticed that you're getting hetter quality now. That means, we are on the road back to good times. There never will be a panic if every one always will give honest value. :o:- AR1IY AND NAVY BROOMS By way of emphasizing the inepti tude of most public service- agencies Gen. - "Hell-and-Maria" Dawes cited an instance of the navv's buying at ..iv 1Cn ,- " tion brooms when it might have had for nothing 350,000 "just as good", army brooms. That is all very well for the entertainment of the laity, but dt is calculated to arouse he.J, 'r o i , . . . . , junuorij -win revue our meujui ics ui somnolent tax payer and give a had; the service rendered; both at home; quarter oi an nour to certain wen nu wi iucic uj x.c-u v ,1 . vfiUnftH b ',., t,. TTio''rs. sewers, knitters, canteen, motor. Sam for a customer. What does this man Dawes moan1 hy butting, in that way and spilling . a lot of other people's beans? What , . . . 1 uol's ne Know aooiit orooins, uny-i. way? Of course, the brooms and brooms Of course, the navy needs! of a cer-1 tain sort. It should buy those bropms Greatest Mother," and notable per . ... vons and actors have been selected ciuu ixirt urg 111cm. vnu uiajuc uicic is a difference between army and navy brooms that Dawes knows noth ing about. .Possibly the navy uses ... . , , xeit nanaea nrooms. wiuie tne army;iropictjns he Nursinjr. Health, Sol brooms are right handed. Had that,jr Service, Home Service and the occurred to Dawes? Yet, in his unin formed way he goes and blabs 'to the navy that there are brooms to be had for the asking in the army stores! Not merely brooms' but everythin els 1 i i. i j uucs tiiu sums Ulill waimi, and so forth that TTncle Sam I wax buys liberally and must come under the scrutiny of the busybody budgot board. The people behind the budget system actually insist upon economy in government buying! It is un heal! of. Sanitation, efficiency, economy these are new words in the cosno eonv of certain mirvevors to the government. And they are calculat ed to play havoc with many old and established theories, such as that which holds the federal government to be a legitimate mark for any ex ploiter who can "put over a deal." Tills broom business is raising an awful dust. :o: ; A New Hampshire girl who adver tised for a job mentioned among the other accomplishments, that sje ould make a stood home nrew. sue received -twenty-eight offers of a po sition and forty-six proposals of mar riage, .two of them telegraph. Who says advertising doesn't pay? , :o: Tablets, note books, pencils, etc., for the school children, may be had at the Journal office. Your Hatch is Safer if You Use the ueen Made up with good devices, necessary to make an incubator deliver-the full batch of all good eggs. After the hatch your chicks are made safer from the bad weather if you use the Queen Colony Brooder priced at $21.50. Style K Incubator, 139 egg size $27.50 t Style K Incubator, 220 egg size 36.75 B estor ' . ' n ZZ TiiACff. RED CROSS PRE PARING A GREAT ' LIVING PICTURE ' - " i I Will oiiow me worKoi Humanitarian Societies from Ancient Days Down to the Present., . Moines. Iowa. Feb. 20. Near- lv 2000 persons, including the larg- et civic clubs, federated clubs, pa- ! triotic organizations and the most prominent state orciciais re loriiiins the living picturps of a spectacle to . . . . . i. t . . ' duced west of the Mississippi, the "Pageant of the Red Cross." They are now rehearsing the whole Isfnrv nf tlip (Ipvclnnment of hnmani tarian work rom the days of the !Good Samaritan to the Red Cross of , today, with which the delegates from states of-the Northwest from Illinois to Montana will be entertained in the De3 Moines Coliseum when they at- tend the Red Cross divisional con- Terence to be held in this city March th and Sth For the realistic world war feature ;of the production, fifty maimed' sol j jjers, some pf them blind, crippled, gassed, shell shocked or otherwise her pleasing and convincing manner badly disabled and seventy-five presented the fundamentals of parlia nurses, who were in the midst of mentary law as found in Robert's the war overseas, have volunteered Rules of Order, Revised, their services. The men . will be! The program closed with two very brought from the different U. S. Vet-j charming violin solos by Mrs. Cald eran's Bureau rehabilitation schools For the reproduction of a trench 'battle, and the Red Cross following; iup the action, army regulars will' 'appear from b ort Des Moines and Xatioual Guard officers and leaders in the world war will lead members iff the 16Sth Infantry anu oiotn t Iowa cavalry 1 ua,I- ' . Governor N. E. Kendall, of Iowa, and his official staff, will have prom inent parts in the cast of the big spectacle. Mrs. Ella Wister Haines, sister of the author of the "Virgin- Owen Wister. friend of Theo- dore Roosevelt, takes cne of the leading parts ine lieu truss as me ;i,0. ci. rvirtQ The chorus is said to be the largest ever assembled in Iowa. From 50 to 200 people have been enlisted in each of the five scenes Junior Red Cross programs or ueu Cross now being carried on in several itimtKand lor:il communities 01 me northwestern states alone. Among other pageant groups now ; .... J. 1 a rav i in process 01 training unuei I . . 1 . . ...1. .... P . 1 1 n I ;-J Knnn s inervis iu 01 ine auuini kil un ., ... it-..,ii p'lr:eanl' .1 . t, t t;l-c nf !;,V" National Red Cross, both of , f-mi ni;i iiautMiitrn t ui 11. x. - : 1 . - nw 11 i' 1 iiiirtiiT ill Washington. D. C, are the Knights of Kins Arthur's court, monks and nuns of the 15th century, Knights Hos pitaller, a Florence Nightingale -roup, a Spirit of '7t group, Civil war. 4S states, and a symbolic group of Red Cross. wi le are anmmc n the appointment ? wine are , of delegates to iukc .m m - . ! irrm of discussions that have ueen . , . . , nii.in ..forDio ... x?rnc Persona, vice chair- I1.' innVw of domestic operations r,r the Red Cross will be present from man. i" - - nrtional headquarters a will also Dr. Richard Bolt, director of the American Child Hygiene association, and other men of national promi nence. The Western Passenger associa-, ti-n has era nted rates of one and a half fares on the certificate plan, and ....... an attendance of 20,000 is estimated for tjiejve days of the pageant and .two aays 01 iue cuuieicuw; K0Sl380a 'V 7,1 :H--!isk: 426-005 New Mexico, l2o!- Saxon mm ,o xsva $3080 ' fJoPwoihitJ; Sh Dkot' 4. aoorj ptlODas ooia w Wyoming' 85 Siof ?63'0' Incubator Swatek me xfKY B S-YHS FIRST OPEN MEETING OF WOitfAN'S CLUB LAST NIGHT The first open meeting since the organization of the Plattsmouth Woman's club was held last evening in the auditorium of the public li brary. A large audience was pres ent to greet the newly elected officers all of whom were in attendance ex cepting the corresponding Fecretary, who was detained at home by illness. After the reading of the minutes, the secretary was asked to read the constitution and by-laws for the ben efit of new and prospective members. This was followed by a discussion as to fixing the date for future general meetings. It was decided to meet on , the first Monday at 8 p. m. and on the third Friday at 2:45 p. m. This will enable the teachers and business girls to get the club work without giving up their gymnasium work at the High school and also make it more convenient for some of the other ladies to attend. A recess was given for the enroll ment of new members and at the close the secretary reported ninety four names so it is confidently ex pected that one hundred can be sent in .when application for the charter is made. Mrs. W. A. Robertson spoke at length upon civic problems which demand our attention and also in well with Mrs. Christine Coughlin at , the piano .a. C. LINDLEY RESIGNS AS GREAT NORTHERN V. P. i r l"iu I i n VII U--n omit j M ' Lindley, vice president and general "counsel of the Great Northern rail- ay' resigned today as a result, it wag announce(jF of a conflict among hejrs of Mrg j j nm Qver appoin1 ment of an administrator of her $12, 000.000 estate. Louis W. Hill, chairman of the Great Northern railway, has peti tioned for his appointment as ad- i ministrator, but seven other heirs j opp ose his selection, including Mrs. 1 Lindley, who was Clara Hill. The 1 seven heirs .ask appointment of the Northwestern Trust company, St. p.,.,i it x-as announced by President Ralph Budd that Marcellus T. Coun tryman, general solicitor of the' Great Northern, had "been named general counsel to succeed Mr. Lind ley. who will continue as a director 1 and member of the executive com mittee. Probate Judge Howard Wheeler now has under advisement the ap pointment of an administrator for Mrs. Hill's estate. SAYS VOLSTEAD LAW A MISTAKE Chicago, Feb. 20.- Bishop Thomas Gailor, president of the national F t - : ' t t uc" J',V' f,u in an addres3 here last night that he believed "the eighteenth amendment wn.? a mistake." He also said that he believed in the modification of the Volstead law. "I am in favor of morality law," he said, "and I personally observe the Volstead law, but I am opposed to P ting sumptuary laws of so drastic a character in the constitution. It nsi rt n fif tha rlrl TlinrhctrVi, v luat tiiiauer is liiuerriuiy evil. 1 am not matter is inherently evil f - PeaKing in me interests of the un- ae,I;wor,d hn in the Interests of in- telligent, understanding men." FARM LOAN ADVANCES Washington, Feb. 20. Approval of 170 advances for agricultural omi live stock purposes, aggregating is 570,000, distributed amone twontV' five states, was announced trrt ' - "JU li 1 u . . -"-j - ay by the war finance corporation. the advances Include: Colorado $171,000; Idaho, $181,000 Z' The most exquisite line of birth, day and gift cards to be found any wtere! At Journal office. . ' i