PLATTSMOUTH SEMI -WEEKLY JOURNAL MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1922. PAGE FOUR Chz plattsmouth journal PUBLISHED SEMI-WEEKLY AT PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA Entered at PostofTlce, Plattsmouth. Neb., as second-class mail matter R. A. BATES, Publisher SUBSCRIPTION PRICE $2.00 PER YEAR IN ADVANCE Truth Is a stranger to fiction. ' :o; ; Nothing: is as bad as it is rumored. :o: Nobody believed a sign. . :o:- Russians don't looks. "No Smoke" BEHIND THE TIMES get 'by on their -o:o- Density of Mars is three-fourth3 that of the earth. f-:o: Liberia was recognized as a repub lic in 1847. o:o Jack was an old English term ap- plied generally to servants. o:o Ninety per cent of the men look ing for argument are single. -:o: Nearest distance Mars comes to the earth is 35, 000, 00J miles. :o: Come on bdck, summer, we didn't mean what we said about you. :o: When you see cigarette stubs park ed on the piano, hubby is boss. :o: Telling the folks not to be jealous is like telling item not to worry. :o: Motor cars are becoming cheaper, but gasoline is still fighting the war. o:n - Our idea of a genuine Irishman is one who knows how to spell Fhilla lagh. : o : "Girls are no longer shy: com plains a woman. They're shy on clothes. :o: Reformers are objecting to danc ing without lights. Called on account of darkness. Nobody but a durn Jool is always right. . :o: Senator Pepper is keeping out of the public eye. 1 :o: Slave trading Is Increasing by leaps and bounds in Abyssinia, Af rica. White men with rifles round up the blacks, chain .them together and ell them on the auction block to the Abyssinia slave masters. This state of affairs is exposed by reporters for the Westminster G-a zette, conservative English news TARIFF AND FOREIGN TRADE The United States last year raised more than six times as much wheat PUBLIC SALE! Vn ran alwav tell who has had grapefruit for breakfast by the nt wearinS splotches on the spectacles. :o: One way to scatter seeds of kind ness, is to sprinkle sawdust on the icy sidewalks. -o: o- Small tree is f-till growing on the roof of the courthouse of Greens burg. Indiana. N :o. Some vocalists remind one of t.u If the movies say they will pay Will Hays only $100,000 he must take a mighty small salary. o: "Make Work a Pleasure" head lines the Digest. Make work and there will be enough pleasure. : :o: ' All the people who think they're paid what they're worth could hold a convention in an upper Derth. :o: "A lot of Jdiots who don't believe in Santa Claus believe in the ground hog," snorts the Atchison Globe. :o: "Popocatapelt Has Eruption" headline. Next week some skin salve salesman will claim he cured it. :o: Fine motto for Plattsmouth wo men these cold days: Never put off today what you can wear tomorrow. :o: A preacher has been made dry di- dector of Pennsylvania. The wets say they have a real "kick" coming. :o: He who doesn't stop to fight, but runs away, may be able to wear his diamond .stickpin still another day. Clothes don't make ithe man. Try S paper. It reads like a page from the his tory of 60 years ago. Men progress unevenly. Sonie- These other nations object to see ing America first. :o: A girl isn't a jewel because she has a rich setting. :o: When eggs dropped it was the speculator who . broke. :o: "Two Saw Way Out of headline. They took it. :o: Jail" Five paydays hath September, Ap ril, July and December. :o: Most dangerous case any doctor has is his medicine case. -:o: And Ford talks just in the inde pendent -way we always imagined. we'd fancy if we had a billion dollars. -:o:- "Small town women take up cig r.ret.te smoking." v Strenous times ahead for the volunteer fire depart ments. :o: In the good old days, it was the than its melody. If we are going to have a busine. revival the anvil chorus will never do for the choir. :o: Why did the Lord make a man who can sit and watch someone play checkers all day? -:o There is an unusually large crop of early spring predictions. :o: Beware, Oh, take care, lest our rubber heels slip up on us. :o: The new income tax blanks are shorter. So are the people. o:o as It ex-DOTted. and exnorted morel. i. i a . . . i. I - IUL I UUllt VUCllun uil wnai is iuuhji xnan twenty-seven times as much as at the old L. D. Todd farm four miles It imported. We manufactured five! north and one mile west of Nehawka, times Aa mnM, fi oo I six mile3 east and one and one-half . , . . miles north of Weeping Water, five and exported eleven times as much mie8 west and 0Q anJ one-alf as we imported. We raised 191 times miles south of Murray, on as much corn as we exported and ex- Mondav. Februarv 20th ported one and one-half times as commencing at 10 o'clock a. m., much as we imported. We raised! with lunch served at noon, the fol- twioe as much cotton as we exported lowing described property: and exported ten times as much as 9 Head of Horses and Mules where on this earth you can find we imported. We exported more than! to- Zr men in every phase of barbarism six times as much beef as we import-1 an(j 7 years old gray and brown in and civilization. ed and 839 times as much pork and foal to Belgian stallion, wt. 3,000; 1 ine enure nistory 01 mans evoiu-i pors proaucis as we lmportea, saysi,',lc i " -' jw . tion toward civilization is crammed, the Chicago Tribune. ,,- u"l. V "L V" I m, , . i&iiiu cianiuu, wilt? uuiiv- somewhere, into this year 1922. These figures will be of interest skin eeldine r, years old wt 1 00- Would you like to go back into the to the farmers, and should be of in- one sorrel gelding, 9 years old, wt. mists of history and see man in the I terest to every person in the coun- 1.200; one bay mare colt, coming very first stages of civilization? I try who believes that the present y i" No need to go back. Just 'take a business depression is -due in a large J eau 01 YaiIie trip to the Philippines and watch part to the inability of the farmers Ltein heifer, fresh soon; one coming the dog eating Igorot headhunters, to sell their products for a good yearling heifer; two Holstein bull lowest form of human life. price. Those interested should im- calves; one Guernsey calf. Low as they are, they have thel press the lesson upon the tariff mak- 65 Head of Duroc Jersey Hogs germ of government, a council slt-lers now struggling with their great I Ui uyk!5 a"u " narrows. ting on stones arranged in a circle, task in Washington. , r6. " . , . f ' uiie i-HJui -iiw uriiucK uiiiuer, new; with the stronsest Igorot on the! It should be obvious that the far- Targest stone and calling the meet-lmers' interest v.ould be far better .ing to order with a war club for a served by encouraging exports than gavel. I by impeding imports. Farming is net From the Ieorot. you can move an infant indutsry. It is the most upward, somewhere finding a peo-j highly developed productive indus one 12-inch Mollne fiantr nlow. new: one McCormick mower; one Indepen dent gang plow; one Jenny Lind cultivator; two New Departure culti- Western Belle riding lister with float ! cnie one, JOJ?n ,e corn vitaier PUBLICS ALE ! The undersigned will Wf lie auction on the F. W. Noltlng farm 4 miles west and mile north of Plattsmouth, on Thursday, February 16th Commencing at 10:00 a. m. sharp, with lunch served at noon, the fol lowing described property, practical-' ly good at new, and stock in excel lent condition, to-wu: 11 Head of Horses and Kules One team of gray marca, nine years old, wt. 2,600; one team black geldings, 5 and 6 years old, wt. 2,800; one span bay mules, 4 and 5 years old, wt. 2,200; one black mare, 5 years old, -wt. 1.500; one blaok mule, coming 2 years in June, wt. 800; one black smooth mouth mare, wt. 1,300; one black mare, 9 years old, wt. 1,400; one black mare, 4 years old, wt. 1,200. 7 Head of Cattle Four Holstein milk cows, .three fresh now and one to be fresh in spring; one Shorthorn milk cow, fresh now; two heifers calves, under a year old. Two dozen pullets. Farming Macninery, Etc. Two farm wagons, good as new; one truck wagon; one top buggy; one Deering binder, 7-foot; one Deerlng mower, good as new; one hay rake; one Budlong lisc, 16x16; one 12 inch Bradley gang plow, with extra shears; one 14-inch walking plow; one 14-inch Moline riding lister, new; one John Deere two-row ma- drill; one Western Belle walking and SO rods check wire; one ithree- ple in the civilization and mental try in the United States. Its success! aster; one 16-inch walking plow,! . , A - i m ii. I , i , . , I with rnllintr rntter- nno 5ccnHr-.nl uevtiopmeni or any cenaury oi me is iouoaea upon superior iiuiurat re- ; " i jn sources and practical methods and I jaresvjiie corn fiprnpinfn w nrtii PTnmsi.in n Errptcrl rf line rnouern youngster neeas no as-1 si-stance. -:o:- Ilere is another thing that is wor rying us: If a cat has nine lives, how do her kittens keep up with mam ma's birthday? :o: ' The general public prints have Experience is the one school no body ever graduates from. o- Some husbands are easy to please while others are henpecked. :o: The more they let us vote the higher the taxes seem to go. :o: "Flirting da dangerous" headline. Yes, you are liable to marry. :o: Some of these leading movie men ought to be leading a plow. ' ' :o: Health hint: When trying to beat a train to a crossing succeed. :o: The man who thinks the world can't do without "him, hasn't tried it. : :o: The 1922 model girl thinks it is better to be naughty than naught. :o: In answering a wrong number over the phone the ' "h." Our farmers, applying stalk ruttor! two finrinfioiri u-rnre- mcii 1:- D 500, 1.000 or whatever scientific methods and advanced me- one hay rack, new; cne set lV3-inch e DeL iaCK' oe grmastone, one of years may be. chanical aids to .their broad acres, fj e. E!.Lf hAr.T ffkettle two SoSilon oU oSr'- people started on the can compete -with the agricultural La 1flf, fcof ', a 0, relo; one Ford car, just overhauleu; past. These- people are born behind the I economies. times 100, the number Probably all same basis. I production of any part of the world, What made them progress at dif- I if they have an unobstructed market ferent rates of speed until today wej If we want our farmers' prosper vv-s x ... " oT yellow seed corn; one Ford car, uy wireiess leiepnone. me uniuese marKei ior manuiacturea prouucis, i ij)20 model, and other items too nu by slow mail and couriers, the Afri-I they must have an outlet abroad.. Thel merous to mention can native by a relay of torn toms or J figures quoted above prove that point. I Terms of Sale smoke signals? I Thev cannot have a foreign market A11 umsof ?10 and under, cash mt j- .! jt ... j-lin hand. On amounts over $10 six vuuiaie nas mucu 10 uo vmu 11. unless loreigners sen enougn goousi t. . ..., , ' , 1 section harrow; one two-section ty cant ir n i c,La-ln- ittitri , tnu jcuujr LiJUU naia- f . . 1 : 1 rri . ,rAMjnAM Luiiivaiuisj jne iiug-nauiuivu corn elevator, with power; one Ther- kerosene engine, new; precedes the But most important is leadership. I here to pay for our food surplus It is leadership, on the wrong 1 1. . A 1 1J. and bellows, and some blacksmith oue siea : ,.aB. DWW fr,r,ia- n tnna r f nrain-o v. o . p" wasaer; one b-ioot roaa orag; ernl bushels of potatoes; some cWk-I Id?a hS w.ate!;e,r . on fw,d ens; some oats and corn; 10 bushek T ' xjauxi e,ts of new fly net3; two ton;3 Ibaled timothy 'hay; about five tons loose "ti'mothy hay; some household good, and many other articles to numerous to mention. Terms of Sale giving bankable note bearing 8 per " "1- e, o .t"- ofF c imori.,.n v Q 1 n . noli t r0T- cnr.1Im V' t . ! XJMCL 1V X VltfUJI. Ul O IlllU XUO track that causes the decay of civ ilization after a period of rapid ad vancement. You see the spirit of "all centuries 111 i s i i ti tion clause would provide will pre- removed from the premises until set- $er Sen? r from' HE vent this. On the other hand, of course, we ol not want dumping to bring our :o:- The wise man of Plattsmouth says some neonle are too coon to le truth' - .... . - . . , . . - .1. . frt ?(5 Hi n f l?t. AA11 II t n- Irs in i ll ' i nere is sun ntiie activity in tae -' j .icv .vrixm., . , grip or a cranberry famine. silk shirt industry. Is It waiting for the soldiers' bonus? o: o When a girl falls down she would lots rathers break her leg than have a hole in her stocking. :o: Lots of birds think they are wise as owls because they are always shooting at something. , :o: Our new dollar .was designed by a foreigner. Foreigners always did have designs on our dollars. :o-. In Washington a man wants the city government to pay him because a fire engine splashed a lot of greasy water on bis coat. The complaint is unreasonable. A citizen is lucky now adays if the government doesn't take his shirt. -:o: There i;i one about McKelvie that he has killed himself -with the re publican party. Well, he can hitch up with the Non-Partisan League. :o: The reform editor of the Atchison Globe favors a return of the old fashioned long skirts that trailed the The defeat of the gasoline tax bill was a glorious victory for the peo- i pie. o:o Some of the modern hair styles were in vogue 40 years ago in Eng land. :o: -:o:- When the movies go into politics ground, because they kept the wo- a means their death knell sooner or men from gadding around. later. :o: Now it is disputed that Sheridan was twenty miles away, a id testi mony is offered to show hii famous aj ride covered only seven. Well, well, it doesn't matter he got there. -:o: In the olden days all juvenile Some men go through life looking as .if their wives had caught them -0:0- T"V7 I- 7T I l Vi . - 'f r h 1 rr m -J "It don't take a man long to bap his pants at the knees, and to make a finely tailored suit look thoroughly disrepu table that's the man of it," avers Dainty Dorthy. "But she goes on to explain that the man who Is making use of our cleaning, steaming and pressing services is keep ing hiJ clothes in much more presentable -condition than when he got acquainted with us. And it doesn't cost much, either. Goods Called for and Delivered phone: s4aCTjOUKNAL OFFICE crimes were blamed on yellowback novels. The yellow-back novel is al most obsolete today, yet crime is more rampant than ever before. :o: The Russian government hints that it has a damage claim against the United States, but hasn't yet dis closed the nature of it. Perhaps it is for sending Berkman and Goldman over there. :n: Henry Ford wants to build a series of dams and put the Mississippi riv er to work. The Father of Waters has been loafing for a long time, and may not want to go to work for a living iu his old age. -n: The American Constitutional Un ion which is attacking the nine teenth amendment is somewhat han dicapped by the fact that the amend ment is part of the constitution it is seeking to -preserve. ; :o: ' as.. r . , t . . . 1- ,1 t j iia.'iuiiYiue toai sirine 13 auueu uled ' for April 1. The Kansas coal miners al;io chose a period of great ' depression and widespread unemploy ' ment to call a strike, but at least they did not make it on All Fools' day. :o: A Des Moines man in filing a pe tition in 'bankruptcy listed under lia bilities $(10,000 of delinquent ali mony payable to hi3 former wife. He is planning to go into the movies as the tflan who put the "alley" in ali mony. : :o: One. naturally supposes that when a woman attains the dignity of be ing president of a woman's Equal ity league she would no longer.bend to the mere details of life, like going Would you say that bread is com ing down because we kneed more dough? . :o: Full many a germ of vilest intent serene is trying its best to make us lank and lean. :o:- Three New Yorkers who believed What a bootlegger told them were burted the other day. :o: Kansas City woman is taking her first vacation in 100 years'. That is why she lived to 100. 0:0 Congress has stopped free garden seeds and the chickens will have to eat Worms next spring. :o: Chicago only averaged three mur ders a week last year. But business was dull (in. every line. :o: The world gets more efficient ev ery day. Making love takes only half as long as It once did. :o: In the stone age, men used clubs to get their wives, but now they use clubs to hide from them. :o: "Men can do anything better than women," claims an employer. How about men chorus girls? :o: "Carpentier Knocks Out Our Cook" headline. That's the advan tage of being a fighter. :o: After making out the income tax most of us look like accidents com ing back from happening. :o: Since there is no "h" In the Rus sian language, how do they say what kind of a winter this hi? n of the past still animating the dif-1 labor standards down to the level of ferent nations. And the same con-1 European pauper labor, but with the trasts exists among people of the changed conditions growing out of same community. I the war, an effort should be made to Many people, like the Abyssinian I draw it Wisely. We capnot safely act slave traders, are thinking in terms of the year I860. Others are centur des behind the times, still others thousands of jars 'behind. A very .few like Edison, Einstein and Tesla are centuries ahead of their time. They are forerunners of the average men of the distant fu ture. :o: tied for. MONT SHRADER, Owner COL. W. R. YOUNG. Auct. W. G. BOEDEKER. Clerk. WANTED COUNTY MANAGERS Large corporation manufacturing upon the assumption that a theory noncompetitive product that has con , , , . iciusiveiy proven unai it aiU3 in pro- once good is always good even un- dllcin larger croo i3 cnenine der conditions which are greatly al- branch in each county, and requires tered. :o:- M0RE MONEY Every one dreams of getting a le gacy from a rich uncle. Such wind falls come to a few people. But not to many. The great majority can never get ahead, never become fi Mr irV p.itrik Castle cave nancially independent, unless they birth to her 21st child at Newark, save patiently, persistently and with N. J. Eighteen of her children are a system. RECORD living. The oldest is 26. A few will comment about Mrs. Cassale being an exceptionally valu- Man works for monev. If he saves money will work for him. Thrift is an absolute necessity, to able citizen, increasing our greatest Provide comforts for old age, for the kind of national wealth man pow er. Most folks, though, wtfll shiver at the thought of having to support 21 children. All right when Mrs. Oassale started, but now only a mil lionaire would brave it. High cost of living is what keeps the averaee family small. Millions rainy day, for protection of family Ben Franklin was the greatest ad vertising manager for thrift that ever lived. So National Thrift Week appropriately observed the .anniver sary of Franklin's birthday. It is a good time to trike stock of one's" ability to save money and to devise plans -for stimulating one's of mothers would be glad to have savings instinct the only sure door 10 cbildren If they could afford it. :o: MARRIED to comfort, tune. independence and for th e services of a capable man to act as manager. Applicant must be com petent to handle large sums of mon ey, hire and handle help. $500 re quired, fully secured. This proposi tion should net a live man S5.000 o $10,000 per year. Big advertis ing campaign already started, full page ads in national magazines. When writing give full -particulars in first letter to secure interview. Applicant must be able to go to Kansas City, Missouri, for instruc tions. Unless you can do so at once meet all requirements of this ad and your reputation is faultless, save your stamps and our time. Will pay all expenses to and from Kansas City if you qualify. This is a real opportunity and presents itself but once in a Tfetime. Write or wire immediately. National Nitro-Bac-ter Corporation Ltd., Transportation building, Chicago. 3t Three per cent off for cash. Property must be settled for before leaving til XllCG MRS. WM. M. N0LTDIG, Owner. CHRIS TSCHIRREN, Administrator. COL. W. R. YOUNG, Auct. H. A. SCHNEIDER. Clerk. CELEBRATES BIRTHDAY From Saturday's Daily. Yesterday was the ninth birthday anniversary ol little Miss Germaine Mason and in .honor of the occasion a number of the little friends were enterialned at the Mason home. Games were indulged in and at an appropriate hour refreshments of ice cream and cake were served. Those in atendance were: Lucrle Connors, Hazel Speck, Jean Hayes, Maxitie Cloidt, Ruth Pickett. Dorothy Ma son, Louise Burbridffe. Eunice. Bur- bridge, Florence Nelson, Louisa Al bert, Josephine Janda, Ruth Warga, Leona Hudson, Esther Shindelbow- er, Helen Price, June Lohman, Ralph Aia;on, ana Harry Connors. HAVE COON HUNT VISITS CITY SCHOOLS -:o:- THE GREAT HOAX Can you explain this? The census renorts that 21.849,266 males and More gray bairs! Weeping, wail ing and gnashing of teeth. Exports 21.318,933 females, 15 years of age from Un stateg f&u off$4S097 or older, in America are marneu. Do a little subtraction and it ap pears that 530,333 women must have two hsubands each. Error? No. The situation is. that about a million foreign born Amer- 418 during Decenfber compared with the month before. That looks like bad news. It is. But later, when the figures are all in, .it will be found that falling off was largely in prices that the num ican residents haven't brought their L,g q ushels? tons bales and wives from the old country. :o:- The legislature has-defeated the i: A 1.411 . . . M OA gasuwne tax vui a. ium 01 v,. thru fcer husband's pockets for loose 000 to the taxpayers of Nebraska, quarters ind half dolars.' What wild McKelvie want next? LUNGARDIA is "without a rival" in ordinary or deep-seated Coughs and Colds, difficult breathing, and for the relief of whooping cough. The wonderful results following its use will astonish you and make you its life-long friend. Your money back, if you have ever used its equal. Danger lurks where there is a cough or cold. Safe for all ages. 60c and $1.20 per bottle. Manufactured by Lungardia Co., Dallas. Texas. For sale by , Weyrich & Hadraba WOMEN Can You Use Some EXTRA MONEY If you want to earn some extra mon ey in your SPARE TIME, show your friends and neighbors a new and handy household article, wanted in 1 Ti- KftMPV TJWnTTTnFiD I must have a representative in eachjtant pacifist o pounds are going out about as usual. The "big foreign trade we built up during the war" was mostly a price hoax. That is the Great Amer ican Delusion thinking in terms of prices instead of actual quantities. :o: Is the second of February ground hog day or is it the Uth, St. Val entines Day? Judge Hall of Macon, Mo., says he knows it is the latter date. Several years ago the Judge captured a groundhog, for the pur pose of satisfying himself. He placed It where it could make a hole in. the ground, and watched its maneuvers for several years both these dates. It did not come out on the second, but It came out the 14th, when the sun was shining, and returned to the hole. The same chances were taken on the second and Mr. Groundhog didn't come out at all. , . :o: - 1 Elsie Hill, 'the bob haired mili- From Saturday's Daliy. - Yesterday A. A. Reed, of Lincoln, inspector of schools for the state of Nebraska, was in the city spending the day looking, over the excellent educational system of this city and the especially efficient high scbool building which has been In use for the past four years. Mr. Reed is one of the leading school men of the state, being secretary of the north and central association of schools and colleges, and is right up to the minute on the things pertaining to the modern school system of the state. FOR SAIE Good, cleau sawdust for sale. JOE M'MAKEN. sw Blank Books at the Journal Office Fror. Saturday's Daily. Last evening three of the young men of the -city securing a real old time coon noun' started out to in dulge in the favorite Missouri sport of coon hunting. They staged the event in the lowlands east of the Plattsmouth Water Co. pump house and for several hours the bottoms re sounded to the yelping of the hound and the shouts of the hunters as they took the trail -of the elusive coon, but the animal was so slick that the hunters and their dog were unable to get in any dangerous touch with the animal. Those participating claim that it was truly some sport and much enjoyed by them. WANTED TO BUY 15 head of good quality Shorthorn heifers, coming two years old. Phone 2913. lwk-d&w CLIFFORD ROBERTS. "Say it with Flowers" isn't half pleasing as saying it with valentines and you can find anything you want in this line at the Journal station ery shop. f the National Wo- town and community. WrLte me TO- man's party who wedflea a .ortn DAY, NOW before you forget it. A Dakota university professor and re tained her maiden name, must have taken a hsuband from the Nonpar- post card will do. MIOO 171. K. OLCON, Plattsmouth Nebraska tisan League. Asin(!lEn)QlQli)t! A Most Substantial Reduction in the Price of 46 Delco-Light" For further particulars see Isy Rosenthal, 5003 Dodge St., Omaha, Neb. s V I (