Nebraska Newspapers

    THURSDAY, JANUARY 26, 1922.
PtAffSJf6ufff SEiil-WEEKl,? JOTTRjTAl,
PAGE FOUR
Cbe plattsmoutb loiifnal
PUBLISHED SEMI-WEEKLY AT PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA
Entered at Postofflce. Plattsmouth. Neb., aa second-class mall matter
R. A. BATES, Publisher
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE $2.00
The man who is easily insulted
ought to be.
o:o
A girl with a pretty knee can grin
and bare it.
:o:-
A man without principle never
draws Interest.
:o:
Most people round out the year
Ijy quarreling accounts.
:a:
"ir flapped me every day
1921," rays a New Ycik wife.
:o:
livery tiii.e a ru-w yt-ar rolls in
in
it
beKins to roil rUht out
a. u.
-:o:-
A dollar doesn't go far us it u.:cd
to, lut then neither does a skirt.
o:o
Hew many self-made men have in
reality been made by their wives?
Peace lias her horrors, no less than
war. Six wild's fairs are promised.
The trouble with a lot of wives is
that if given enough rope, they skip
with it.
-:o:
Uncle Sam would get in a lot more
revenue if he would levy an outgo
tax instead of an income tax.
-:o:
Well, now that we know why a
chicken cros-ses the read, jvill pome
one please tell ,us why they cros
their knees?
The German officer who sank the
Lusitania has received his just de
serts once more. This time he was
killed in Paraguay.
:o:
When a man's wife asks him a
question in a voice that revels off
on a high, key, he knows that :he
knows the answer without his re
plying. :o:
Cuba wanted to borrow 50 million
"dollars In this country and gets five.
And there may be other respects in
which Cuba resembles a govern
mental department.
:o:
If it Is true that the earth is mov
ing northward at the rate of one
foot per year, it won't be more than
lO.tfOu years unil all southern Dem
ocrats become damyankees.
:o:
It would be a bit strange, wouldn't
it, if Senator La Follete were expell
ed, from the G. O. P., to find him
self on the outside looking in at New
berry on the inside looking out?
:o:
Statistics compiled by R. G. Dun
& Co. show that during 1921 there
were 19,600 commercial failures in
this country, with liahalities of $61S.
000,000. The number was much
greater than the year before. When
SSS0 failures were listed involving
$295,000,000. In 1919 business was
remarkably secure with only 6.4 00
defaults totaling J114.000.000. Or.
the other hand in 1913 the failures
were more than 22,000.
"It don't take a maji long to
bag his pants at the knees,
and to make a finely tailored
suit look thoroughly disrepu
table that's the man of it,"
avers Dainty Dorthy.
But she. goes on to explain
that the man vho is making
use of our cleaning, steaming
and pressing services i3 keep
ing his clothes in much more
presentable condition than
when he got acquainted with
us. And it doesn't cost much,
either.
Goods Called for and Delivered
dsn
A
PMONI
10b
E' J &'j'Ji i
vj.-i zsy&
PER YEAR IN ADVANCE
"Did England or Ireland win?"
brings to mind George Bernard
Shaw's "Who won the San Francis-
co earthquake?"
:o:
Personally, we think it Is nice for
a man to be always cheerful, but 44
gets on our nerves for a dentist to
whistle while at work.
o:o
Henry Ford will get Muscle Shoals.
Perhaps the government Is safe in
letting him lhave It. Taxpayers have
no voice in such matters except to
iay the Itaxes.
:o:
Meat users regret to hear that Ar
mour & Co. lost 31 million dollars
la-st year, but all and severally they
went as far as they could to assure
the packers a profit.
:o:
Th-e people, generally, are on the
lookout for normalcy to appear with
a cap "X." But disappointments
never come singly. Promises of these
kind are like pie crust, easily (brok
en. :o:
In Chicago, where Mary Garden's
admirers are numbered only as the
sands of the sea, there is talk of
changing .the name of the metropolis
to Garden City. Ain't that just too
sweet?
-:o:-
Miss Booth, head of the Salvation
Army, says women who use rouge are
cheats and ithat they paint with the
intention to deceive. But, of course,
it isn't the crime it might be if tfiey
all succeeded in their intentions.
-:o:-
A New York bank iteller reports to
the police that his wife has been
missing for several days, and so has
his" chauffeur. He should wait calm
ly. They'll need money before long.
because- they took the motor car
along. ,
:o:
"Extravagance holds husbands,"
declares a woman who advises wo
men to spend all the money they can
wheedle, pick or extort. It is refresh
ing anyhow, to hear some one for
mulate a theory supported by the
experience of the race.
:o:
Samuel Gompers, of the Federation
of Labor, is opposed to the constitu
tipnal amendment insuring equality
for women. Mr. Gompers perhaps
misunderstands the' purpose of the
amendment. It really .means to estab
lish legal superiority for women.
: to:
A Texas legislator moves to abol
ish the senate tin that stale, and says
he is convinced that with a single
chamber the legislature can do its
work more speedily and more effic
iently than it doea now. But what
makes him think speed ard efficiency
are a legislature's objective?
:o:
Electrical engineers have succeed
ed in operating a typewriter by wire
less. This means that eventually a
stenographer may spend the winter
in California take dictations from
the boss in Florida, and write the
correspondence on a -typewriter in
Platt.-Triouth, all by wireless". But
they'll .still spell and punctuate by
guess.
:o:
Thero is sound sense in the plan
'of the American Good Roads associ
j ation to ubolish all immodest hosiery
( and underwear advertisements from
'billboards along highways. The place
I for inimode:t ads is in publications
' where the attention of the reader Is
not fo likely to be drawn away from
the very serious bufiiness of steering
a motor car.
:o: "
Sa far iis German- is concerned,
American business men are between
the dsvil and the deep sea; ithey
! would like ito see her, rehabilitated
o that she can pay her debts and
buy their 'goods, but at the same
jtima they are afraid that once sh-a
gets well on her feet again she will
j walk off with the lion's share of the
world's' business and the profits that
go therewith.
-:o:
"Not a ton of coal will be dug
while I am in jail," declared Alex
Ifowat, as he was being led. off to
Jail more than three months ago.
Now he has called upon all the min
ers who had Joined to help make that
threat fffective, to return to work.
The pit- now is, though the coal bas
liness. which kept the Howat miners
at work theretofore has been divert
ed to Illinois, - Oklahoma, Arkansas',
Missouri and other states, and the
Ijowat miners will probably contin
ue idle until the "Kansas operators
can build up a trade.
Who sadd we wouldn't have any
winter.
-:o:-
Don't work 166 harfi frying to do
too lttfcie.
:o:
Cold feet often keep a hat one out1
of trouble."
:o-.-
Some folks have
others have lost it.
:o:-
got ahead and
It's nice to think a girl is as whKe
as she is powdered.
o:o
Would you call a clock that failed
to go off a false alarm?
-o:o
The coal dealers are happy.
But
the consumer not so much so.
:o:
If a woman's place is in the home,
lots of them are out of place.
:o:-
The man who kills time is the as
sassin of his own opportunities.
:o:
The ice man is happy that is the
fellow who puts up his own ice.
:;
Which calendar do you use, the
one that looks pretty or the other
one.
-o:o-
Two heads are better than one.
except in the matter of keeping a
secret.
o:o
It is only the very pretty woman
who can insist on her own imper
fections. .
:o:
Final pTOof that the Irish govern
ment is in operation is at hand it
has contracted a iloan.
The treasury says there are 500,-
000 new peace dollars In circulation.
We demand a recount.
:o:
You can't say that a man is hold
ing his own when he puts' his prop
erty In his wlfe's name.
o:o
Thin people are raid to be the
hardest workers but fat ones ray
that's why they are thin.
:o:
We are forever and eternally
against burying the political hatch
et. The thing might get rusty. .
o : o-
A Chicago man who claims rela
tives robbed him of his two hotel3
didn't know much about hotel keep
ing.
:o:
Fortunately . a young man can't
even imagine 'that his ibest girl"" will
look like her mother a few ' years
hence.
-:o:-
"I will sue anyone who says I mar
ried Marilynn Miller," says Jack
Pickford. How do you like that, Mar
ilynn? '
:c7:
Twenty thousand persons were
convicted for violating the Volstead
act during the year 1921. This prob
ably represents about two per cent
of the violators.
:o:
Calendars are scarcer this year
than ver toefore.' There is no longer
any paper famine as there was dur
ing the war, but the crop of dates
was very short.
:o:
One thing about H. G-. Wells he
strives to please. He is reported to be
writing two books at the same time.
one entitled "The Wonderful New
Era," and the other "The Horrors of
the Next War."
:o:
A New York importer and a re
tail Jeweler have gone to the courts
over a pearl necklace said to ibe val
ued at $1,500,000. It may be valued
at that figure, rtmt it isn't worth that
mudh, and nobody but a woman
with a $15-a-week brain would
think of wearing that much jewelry.
:o:
A correspondent wants to .know
whether Friday is regarded as an
unlucky day because people are hang
ed on Friday, or whether people are
usually hanged on Friday because it
is regarded as an unlucky day. This
iis a3 bootless as -is a discussion of
whether they are policemen because
they are fat or they're fat because
they are policemen.
LUNGARDIA is "without a rival"
in ordinary or deep-seated Coughs
and Colds, difficult breathing, and,
for the relief of whooping cough.
The wonderful results following
its use will astonish you and make
you its life-long friend. Your
money back, if you have ever used
its equal. Danger lurks where
there is a cough or cold. Safe for
all ages. 60c and $1.20 per bottle.
Manufactured by Lungardia Co.,
Dallas, Texas. For sale by
Weyrieh & Hadraba
You Can Earn from $1.00
, . to $10.00 a Week.
Quick, easy just an hour or so af
ter school. Nothing to sell, and no
money required. We want two am
bitious boys in each "town and com
munity. Could you use some EXTRA
MONEY? If so", send your name and
address TODAY a post card will .do.
Address Box 240,
Plattsmouth : ' Nebraska
THE FARMERS' LOSSES
Not 6no? in the last fourteen yean
were farm crops worta" so lfittfe as in
1921. Thlia low vailutf is not due to
thef small harvests last year, for the
y,iTd of (the principal grains was!
lafger itham In the elghtt of the last
iforufrleen seasons says the Kansas
Oity Star.
' The corn crop was the largest, but thority to. do what the courts, un
one, iin history; the wheat yield was der a defective law, could not do.
above the ten year average; the oat I As the judge of the qualifications of
yield was approximately normal. It
was the distressingly low price of
these and either crops which made
t)he financial return for 1921 so dis-
couraigin-g.
In round figures the 1921 crop
was wtorth $5,600,000,000. In 1920
farm crops were worth $9,000,000,
000, and in 1919 $13,700,000,000.
Thus the farmers' Income from crops
Jn 1921 will be about $3,500,000,
000 less than in 1920, and $8,000,
000,000 less than lin 1919. This means
that the farmers' spending power
has been cut almost in half, in com
parison with lat year and almost di-
vided by thfee In comparison with
1919.
Some producers of commodities the
farmers buy, consider that they have
accomplished a noteworthy achieve
ment by reducing itheir prices to the
1919 basis. If the farmer had receiv
ed half as much for his produce this
year as Ihe gat in 1919, he would
hare a fourth more money to spend
'than he has. To equalize prives it
will be necessary to go back to the
1908 basis.
In the meantime, the farmers'
taxes have increased, interest rates
have advanced and the farmers' debts
have not declined.
:o:
ANOTHER NEW RADICAL
One of the chief American indoor
sports consists Of holding a meeting
aird launching a new political par
ty. Every little while we have to re
cord the birth of some new party
wOiich it is proclaimed is godng to
push the old parties right of the map
'but usually a year or two later
finds the old parties still doing bus
iness and the new ones gone.
The latest thing In the line of
new parties has. just ibeen trotted out
in New York. It is called the Work
ers party but that is only the narae
of it, as the real object of the lead
ers as to work Yhefcr followers. Any
one can Join who will promise to
think and act just as he is command
ed, and ask no questions. The pur
pose of the party is to overthrow the
present government In this country,
wipe all traces of capitalism and set
up a communistic state such as that
of the Soviets in Russia, so that ev
eryone will have plenty of money.
The leaders denounce the labor
unions which, ihey say are merely
pTayfrng into the hands of tihe capi
talists. What is now needed, they
said, is recruits for the workers ar
my, who will be under orders and
will fight as soldiers wfaen told. Mil
itant Marxism must be substituted
for tfheorizing and debating, they
said, and the red flag must "be kept
flying.
:0:
CONCERNING METHUSELAH
There are some things that we
flatly refuse to swallow, no matter
what those darned iconoclast high
brows have to say about it.
The latest effort at disillusion
ment attempted by a so-called man
of learning Is aimed at our old friend
Methuselah.
According to a writer in the New
York Evening Post, Methuselah did
not live to be 969 years, or anything
like that figure, as we reckon time
at the present. He Insists that the
years of that period were only lunar
months, and as a matter of fact Me
thuselah only reached the age of
7Si years.
We positively decline to have. this
scientific stuff rammed down our
throats.
The Bible says Methuselah lived
to be 9G9 years', and was then gath
ered unto his forefathers.
We (believe what the Bible says.
;We believe, furthermore, that from
the age of 21 to 969 Methuselah vot
ed the straight democratic ticket,
took his likker the same way and
that he held the office of Justice of
Peace and used spitting tobacco.
:o:
UNREQUITED LOVE
He loves a girl.
Day amd nighit lie thinks of her.
His mind dwells ever upon her beau
ty. He tStes Ms nails.
Her presence is always wiith him.
He thinks of her the first thing in
the mOTmhrg; he dreams of her in
ittfoe nighit, when tih'e loon screams
across the lake.
With" all the devotion of his soul
he loves her, but she does not make
him haippy. For he is a miser, and
she is the woman on the silver dol
lar. .
:o:-
For regular action of the bowels;
easy, natural movements, relief from
constipation, try Doan's Regulets.
30c at all stores.
THE NEWBERRY CASE
When the Supreme Court of the
United States, on a technicality, re-
versed by a decision of five to four
the lower court which had sentenced
Truman H. Newberry to the peni-
J tentlary for his corrupt candidacy
for a eat in the senate, it reminded
I the senate that the body had the au-
( its own members, said the Supreme
Court, "the national government is
uul wiiuuu.1 puwer to protect risen
11 i i . . i t a
against corruption, fraud, or othvT
malign influences."
The senate, to whom the Supreme
Court thus passed the Newberry
case, has bow disposed of it, and in
stead of protecting the national gov
ernment against corruption it has
condoned corruption.
And in doing so it presents the
unprecedented, the pusillanimous
spectacle of pretending to condemn
corruption, yet "vindicating" the
man who profits by corruption.
Conceding that too much money
was expended to elect New-berry and ;
declaring formally that "the expen-j
diture of such excessive sums in be-
nair or a candidate, either witn or
without his know-ledge or consent,
being contrary to sound public pol
icy, harmful to the honor and dig
nity of the senate and dangerous lo
the perpetuity of a free government
such excessive expenditures are
hereby severely condemned and dis
approved," the senate thereupon
seats the man who profits by this
crime against "sound public policy,"
against "the honor and dignity of
the senate" and against "the per
petuity of a free government." .
Whereupon Newberry issues a
public paen of gratitude for this
"vindication" and "exeroneration"
of himself and "all concerned"
the same being his family and friends
who put up the money to buy his
seat, he claims, without his know
ledge. The senate, by its own resolution,
has vindicated and exeronated no
body. It ha3 condemned Newberry's
crime but approved Newberry, the
criminal.
It has not vindicated and exoner
ated Newberry, but has prostituted
itself to Newberry's own level. Or
rather, it has prostituted itself to
deeper depths of degradation than
that of Newberry; for it is not like
ly that this poor creature himself is
capable of conceiving so preposter
ous a scheme of degradation as that
to which the senate of the United
States has deliberately descended in
the disposition of his case.
: :o:
HAVE YOU THE COURAGE
To meet failure and obstacles on
every hand?
To meet jrour enemies with love
for hate, good for evil?
To move steadily towards your
goal with a serene mind when you
know thait others ridicule and con
sider you a failure? '
To remain in Obscurity to support
a parent, or a helpless sister or
brother, when you have the con
sciousness of the ability to do big
things?
To boar the blame which belongs
to another because you do not want
to bring piain to others?
To erpeak the truth when a lie
would help ycu out of a difficulty?
To forego extravagance so that
you may provide for the future wel
fare of those dependent upon you?
:o:
WHAT EVERY WOMAN KNOWS
That edirca.aion is a great thing.
Chorus girls ride in limousines
while school teachers walk to work.
That a woman's waitch is great to
tack down a stair carpet with or to
throw at a cat.
That it is no fun to smoke. a cig
'aret when nobody is locking.
- That the woman who occupied the
apartment last had perfectly atroc
ious taste in wall paper.
That a bird on the hat is worth
three hundred that have not yet been
killed.
That a man who knows hov to
embroider and knit is never going
to be a wizard at finance.
That she can keep her husband
from kissing the cook by doing her
own cooking.
:o:
CHEERING FIGURES
Farmers', in the depth of gloom,
should take cheer at this:
For the first 11 months' of the
year, wheat exports from our coun
try were 269.497.21S bushels In
1921, against. 192,383,961 in 1920,
and 138,566,764 bushels in 1919.'
And, for 11 months, corn exports
were 118,811,271 in 1921, against
14.720, 33? bushels in 1920 and 9,
666544 bushels in 1919.
This again proves that falling off
in foreign trade is largely a price
hoax. The consolation is that these
big grain exports will cut down the
carry-over. That favors higher prices
if or farmers in 1922.
T. J. SOKOL'S ANNUAL
ruiiw-M' Pill H
T. J. SOKOL HALL
Saturday, January 28th
Five ash Prises Awarded
Gents, 75c
Everybody Invited!
MUSIC'OY Tf!E RACAPATORS!
BUG AHCUOri!
The undersigned will sell at Tub
lfrc Auction on what is known as the
F. M. Young, Sr. farm, two miles
east of Murray, on
Wednesday, February 1st
The following described property
Eight Head of Horses
One black mare, nine years old,
weight 1450; one black horse, ten
years old, weight 1450; one bay
mare, ten years old, weight 1400;
one brown gelding, six years old,
weight 1300; one black mare, five
years, weight 1300; one black mare,
four years old, weight 1400; one
colt, coming one year old.
Thirteen Head cf Cattle
Three milk cows, one giving milk,
two fresh soon; seven head on full
feed, consisting of three cows and
four spring calves; one two-year-old
heifer; two calves, four months old.
Forty-Six Hcgs
Seven head of stock hogs, twenty
four fall piss; nine SO-pound 6hoats,
ono 250-pound barrow; one brood
sow; four pure bred Duroc gilts with
pedigree and breeding certificate.
Bred to Critic and Sensation boars.
Farming' Machinery, Etc.
One John Deere binder;., one John
Deere riding lister; one Bradley com
bined lister; one Case 2-row ma
chine; one John Deere disk harrow;
one Keystone disk; one John Deere
pang plow; one John Deere corn
f-lod; one wagon and box; one truck
and rack; one hay rack; one Cen
tury riding cultivator; two Jenny
M-cnrmic'ki
ljina cultivators; one
mower; one bob sled, nearly new;
PO
JOHN ED. FRADY
AUTO REPAIRING WELDING!
Careful Attention Given to All Work
CALL PHONE 58
EverstGe
T -
Mm YOU BUSWiJP WTH IT
We all knoW the famous race between the hare and the
tortoise. The fast spurts made by the hare didn't get him
anywhere, but the plodding tortoise kept right on step by
step and won. ,
Before
you invest in what
mak
' . i l 1
losing your money.
Put your money in our
You will receive 3!2
i, uuic.jii aau asK aDOUt
armers State Bank
FLAT TSMQUTH.. NEBRASKA
Ladies in Costume, 35c
Spectators 25c.
one 3-section harrow; one 14-inch
walking plow; one 1-horse drill; one
hand corn sheller; one sweep feed
grinder; one . 3 II. P. gasoline en
gine; one 2-tub washing machine;
three sets 1-inch harness; one set
fly nets, nearly new; fifteen tons
clover hay in barn; one Monarch
range, nearly new; numerous other
articles.
Sale starts at 10 o'clock. Lunch
served at noon.
Terms cf Sale
All sums of $10 and under, cash.
On sums over $10 a credit of six
months will be given, purchaser giv
ing bankable note bearing eight per
cent interest from date. Property
must be settled for before being re
moved from the premises.
H. L. CREAMER and
ALVADOR NICKLES
OWNERS.
W. R. YOUNG, Auct
W. G. BOEDEKER, Clerk.
FOR RENT
An improved ten acres close in,
aI?o house and three lots. d&w-3t
R. B. WINDHAM.
Impure blood runs you down
maks J'Qits an easyvjetim for dis
eases .errpure Diooaana soiiu di
gestion Burdock Blood Bitters. At
all drug stores. Price, $1.25.
FEERUARY RED BOOK
They are here at the Journal of-
'ice. Come in and eet your copy ear-
j Jy and don't risk missing it.
MiCli - OuiCK
MEMWNMAmi
looks like a "auirlr
. - .
if. W
may save you from
bank.
interest on a savingg accoam
S