PAGE POTTS
Che plattsmouth lournal
PUBLISHED SEMI-WEEKLY AT PLATTSMOUTH, NEBRASKA
Entered at Postoffice. Plattemouth, Neb., m eeond-cU mil matter
R. A. BATES, Publisher
SUBSCRIPTION PRICE $2.00
When an idle goes!p meets an idle
rumor they ibot.li go to work. .
:o:
Some girls think they have got to
be fast to catch a husband.
:o:
Some people grow under responsi
bility and others merely swell.
:o:
There is one thing about the good.
They either die young or outgrow it.
:o:
No matter bow cheap, the mcx-t
costly thing is a marriage liceiue.
:o:
v Figuring on your marrying is eas
ier than marrying on your figuring.
:o:
Even if beauty is only t,kiu d?ep,
why would anybody -want to skin a
:o:
One man got drunk on bay rum
the other night and saw sorrel night
mares. 0:0-
Out where they hide moonshine
in the bushes it pays to beat around
the bush.
-n:
It isn't always politeness that
makes a man let a woman get on a i
street car first.
-0:0-
Ilowever, it ds far mere import
ant that a man should know when to
be funny than to know how.
:o:
You never know how much mon
ey a woman can spend until you tell
her to go as far as she likes.
:o:
Dentists say teeth cause our worst
ills. Must Hie right. Without teeth
there would be no toothache.
-:o:-
Forty New Yorkers are said to
have died in one day from poisor.id
liquor. "Dead drunk" is right.
:o-.
Who can explain to the 4-year-old
youngster how the rabbit can be
dressed when it has its fur off.
: o : o
Well, wo ar not alone in our af
flictions. Tue legislatures of twen
ty other states are in session.
:o:
Won't it be rotten lu:k. alter all
counties in Nebraska get good reads,
to find that everybody is flying.
:o:
If it is true that France is proud
of her debts, then she might take
ove rours and exult to the limit.
0:0
These men who always want to
start something are never around
when you want something started.
0:0
The Katsudoshashin Kabushhiki
Kaisha is a Japanese movie trust, so
maybe that's why they wanted to
fight.
:o:
When the watchdogs of the treas
ury' get tired of barking, they will
all lie down and go to sleep, and we
will hear nothing more from them
at this session save an occasional
growl.
"It don't take a man long to
bag hi3 pants at the knees,
and to make a finely tailored
rult look thoroughly disrepu
table that's the man of it,"
avers Dainty Dorthy.
But she goes on to explain
that the man who i3 making
use of our cleaning, steaming
and pressing services i3 keep
ing his clothes in much more
presentable condition than
when he got acquainted with
us. And it doesn't cost much,
either.
Good Called for and Delivered
n
I PMCNE V,7fjt OPPOSITE!
I 16 6 N-Lli5JCUKNAL OFFICE
J
PER YEAR IN ADVANCE
The female vamp Is a myth. She
is merely what an old maid thinks
a woman must (be in order to attract
a man.
:o:
Every society woman wants to
know ail about the latest wrinkles,
but she does not want to see them
in her face.
:o:
Denial ds made of the report that
the king of Spain is to visit the
United States. Alfonso probably has
troubles enough at home.
:o:
Marshal Foch Ls undoubtedly hav
ing one heluva time trying to ex
plain to the folks at home what those
various American college degrees
mean.
:o:
Probably the wide difference be
tween the words "domestic" and
"domesticated" can be illustrated
no (better than by applying them to
the noun "servant."
-0:0-
Rfliqtihtya The gasoline tax is be
ing pointed out by McKelvie as a
great scheme for raising revenue in
Nebraska. Yes, arid it will also raise
the price of gasoline.
:o:
It is popular to declare that' there
must be a reduction of taxes, bqft,
insofar us state expenditures are
concerned, it is a declaration, not
necessarily backed by common sense.
:o:
General Ludendorff in his book ad
mits that Germany made many mis
takes. And the sad thing about it is
that Germany Is reminded of her
mistake every time an indemnity
falls due.
:o:
Mayor Shank, republican ruler of
Indianapolis, has appointed his Dem
ocratic wife as a memher of the Park
commission. Well, even a republi
can has to do something to keep
peace in the family.
:o:
Innocence and virtue are highly'
lesirable in a church organization,
but probably there should be some
one in authority worldly enough to
keep the pew varnish from getting
into the communion cups.
re:
These folks who worry us with
statistics showing how our great
country wastes in chewing gum
each have they some plan of col
lecting it and using it again, or
what is it they have in mind?
:o:
Isn't it strange, but, as the Jaw
makers at Washington view it, the
only way we can get the farmer out
of financial trouble is to enable him
to (borrow more money for a long
term and at a low rate of interest?
:o:
Mr. Beakman and Miss Goldman
now declare that bolshevism is noth
ing less than Asiatic barbarisms. We
understand they don't mind ordin
ary barbarism but this Asiatic va
riety simply "won't go down with
their refined natures.
:o:
The British government is offer
ing a liberal prize fcr the inventor
who will devise an airplane that will
go straight up in the air at anytime.
The matter is respectfully referred
to Governor McKelvie. He is up in
the air all the time.
:o:
Prohibition authorities are now
up against the question of whether
dentists should be allowed to pre
scrd.ble whiskey for their patients. If
a decision is rendered in the affirm
ative it will mean a great epidemic
of tooth pulling .in this country.
:o:
A Chicago dispatch says Harold F.
Mccormick is not going to marry
jMary Garden, and he is not going
I to marry Ganna Walska." Perhaps If
you put your mind to it, you also
(tcouId name a person or two whom
;Mr. McCormick is not going to
, marry.
i :o:
j Because his weetheart had gone
to a dance -with another fellow, a
( Nebraska young man threw a live
skunk through the window into the
dance hall. 11a bad to invent some
1 thing to X it the occasion, since Hen
ry Ford has practically outlawed the
ancient protice of loosening the taps
on the rival's buggy wheels.
:o;
Explaining sJbout that proposed
department of puhlic welfare, a
Washington dhpatch says this new
department. If created, will assem
'ble a number of welfare agencies
now attached in anomalous fashion
to governmental departments which
they have no concern. Isn't that rath
er an unkind way. of putting it?
A man with e, frown had better
take another lxk-
;o;- -
They don't have sleeping cars on
the road to success.
. :o;--" -
Here it is. the 17th of January,
and no hard winter yet.
o:
The flyer who stayed up 26 hours
-:o:-
Men's idea of heaven is a country
store, a hot stove and an argument.
:o:
Persimmons are not good to eat
until frost bitten, nor afterwards.
:o:
America will 'be better off when
the knows instead of the noes have the latter were emptied of their ali
it. Jen guests.
:o: . j There ds a legal way to do this,
The attic of today ia no longer the 'and federal authorities are now un
place of storage for family heirlooms 'jertafcing to apply it.
only.
-:o:
Detective Brandeniburg says he
knew Baibe Ruth when 6he was a
chorus girl.
-:o:-
Washington reports that an alleg
ed Japanese plot is to be nipped. All
right. Nippon.
:o:
If egotism has anything to do
with genius the world would be fill
ed -with genii.
:o:
"The world needs more (blushing,"
declares a headline, flatly. Well, it
has plenty of cause.
:o:
Ail men are a little lower than the
n A- (t 1 A IWT O VO T
angels and the distance keeps vary
Ing from time to time.
:o:
Harding says he will meet the
farming troubles. Hope he doesn't
shake hands and pass on.
:o:
A Plattsmouth girl has been
squeezed so often she is beginning
to look like a soft lemon.
:o:
A Boston physician tells us that
exercise kills germs but he doesn't
tell how to make the therms exercise.
0:0
There are many happy homes in
this country, and then there are
those that are kept in apple pie or
der. :o:
"Bvtry time you have a desire to
reform something." go out behind
the !barn and look yourself over care
fully. "T"
' . '. ;o: - '
The Gldbe says an Atchison young
man is looking for a rich girl, hav-
ing been told that opposites should
marry.
-:o:-
Some old fashioned persons real
ly .believed mumps could be prevent
ed hy rubbing the neck against a hog
trough.
:o:
In a way the traveling salesman
is just now the most independent of
men he seldom takes" orders from
anybody.
0:0
"Recipes for. late suppers" is the
title of a new 'booklet. What is need
ed more ds a booklet containing ali
bis for them.
:o:
Japan has not yielded their posi
tion on Shantung is unchanged, del
egates say. So, unfortunately, is their
position in Shantung.
:o:
It looks as though Mr. Lloyd
George and Mr. Dempsey never would
succeed in getting anybody to stay
in a ring with them.
:o: ;
When a minister has' trouble with
his car he doesn't sWear, but his face
bears a different expression from the
one seen in the pulpit.
;o:
A Philadelphia book publisher de
mands a 25 per cent tariff on Bibles.
Salvation has been on the free list
too long, ' the publisher 'believes.
:o:-
New York club girls are debating
the propriety of smoking, and opin
ion seems to he divided, some hold
ing that girls ought not to smoke in
ipulblic.
;0:
"The price of wheat," explains
one (baker, "has very little to do with
the price of bread." Except, of course
when the trend of wheat prices is
upward. ,
to
America exported less merchan
dise to Europe in 1921 than in 1920,
figures show. Well that's not surpris
ing Europe exported less money to
America.
to:
There is nothing dull In the motor
car manufacturer's life when Henry
Ford is a competitor. But what this
country needs now is a Henry Ford,
in the shoe business. :
0:0 -
Vienna ds agitated over the pros
pect of losing its art collections to
America, but realizes it's going to
have hard work keeping them in the
absence of a Vienna roll.
-0:0 . -
Maybe the government 'is trying
to accomplish too much all at once
In making New York dry. 'Possibly
I it wouW do (better A first y asking
the illegal saloons to close from 3 to
5 in the afternoons.
PIATTSHOTTTH SEMI-WEEKLY TOTTRNAL
DEPORTATION OF CRIMINALS
There r thousands of .alien im
prisoned in various penal inati-tu
tions In this country, for good and
sufficient reasons.
There la a certain social satisfac
tion in seeing criminals paying the
rnnTPn fllnnal nonaltv for Iheir primes
- . . Mn(mflllv CMiilrW .nrlBonpr r
far from being a imiblic asset.
The country would be better off
without them.
Many a state -would save a lot of
money now spent for upkeep and
support, and might also save the
cost of new penal institutions to sup-
pi em en t those now overcrowded, if
A law enacted early in 1817 au
thorized the deportation of an alien
criminal.
1. -When he has 'been sentenced
to one year or more for crime com
mitted "before he has "been in Ameri
ca five years.
2. When he has been sentenced
more than once, disregarding the
number of years' residence here.
3. When it can ibe proved he com
mitted a felony or misdemeanor in
volving moral turpitude before en
tering the United States.
Dittie attention was paid to his
statute during the war.
Subseouently some aliens have
(been deported under the third clause
.....
but hardly any under the first and
second.
Now it is announced that states
desiring it may take full advantage
of the opportunity to get rid of thedr
undesirable alien prison population,
with the co-operation of the federal
government.
The matter rests mainly in the
ihands of the judges before whom
the alien convicts were tried. The re
lief should be welcomed.
:o:
HOW WE TRUST EACH OTHER
How we Americans love each oth
er! You get into ordinary conversa
tion. All of ais are convinced we are
being robbed by somebody else. Our
next door neighbor ds a good fellow
personally. But as a (business man
we know iie is a pirate.
' The salaried is suspicious of his
employer. He knows his grocer is a
conspirator. As for the store down
town -where his wife trades, he calls
it the daylight robbery. So, too, the
dealer in notions looks darkly on the
clothier. Both the clothier and the
notion man blame the jobber and
the farmer. The farmer is convinced
he is the victim of the Board of
Trade.
The Wall street broker is certain
the country is toeing held up in the
price of meat and eggs.
With all this 'brotherly love so
widespread, isn't it a good deal of a
miracle that the country is able 'to
rock along and not fly to pieces?
A BIG SUCCESS
The Jeffersonian banquet at the
Fontenelle on Saturday night in Om
aha was one of the toiggest successes
of its kind ever held in the state.
Representative democrats from ev
ery nook and corner of Nebraska
were present, and enthusiasm reign
ed from start to finish. Our old
friend, W. D. Oldham, of Kearney,
was toastmaster, and you can bet
your 'bottom dollar he performed his
duties in the proper manner. He is
a democrat of the first water, and
after our own heart, and never
minces matters. The speeches of Sen
ators Harrison of Mississippi, and
our friend Hitchcock were worth
coming many miles to hear. It would
appear from the grand meeting that
the democrats were up and coming,
and meant Reorganization with a
large capital R.
:o:
There is considerable complaint at
the reckless running of automobiles,'
and especially after night. The reck
less driver hasn't any sense, anyway,
and the time isn't far distant when
he will have to have a license and
stand an examination as to his fit
ness to- run an auto.
-:o:-
Henry Ford is understood to be ne
gotiating for the purchase of the
French navy, which is admitted to
be old and a little run down. Mr.
Ford may have no particular use for
the French navy, (but possibly he
Jusf cant resist anything that rat
tles. .
:o:
Food prices are declining, and oc
casionally you see a sign offering a
meal lor 25 cents. But those who
have tried the meals say they aren't
very long passing a given point.
;o:
Mr. Lenine will Ibe disappointed if
the Genoa conference Is called off as
a result of the change in the French
government. It was the first party
he had been invited to in years.
, -:o:
Books! Books! Books! We have
them till you can't icst, at the Jour-
nal Ofloe.
SYNTHETIC BOOTLEGGERS
Some people profess not to be dis
turbed at the persistent reports that
these German chemists have learned
how to make synthetic gold. Indeed
not even France appears to (be alarm
ed at the prospect of the Germans
raking up a pile of old iron if tilings,
brass fittings, and applying a few
drops of concentrate of trihypo-fooz-
:lum and then hacking up a Reich
j'band truck and hauling a ton or so
of pure gold to pay another install-
';ment of the reparation bill. France
( doesn't give Fritz credit for being
clever enough to 'figure it down to
that fine point. But Prof. Irving
Fisher is different. Prof Fisher is
'worried. In fact Prof. Fisher left
some time ago lor Germany to see
whether it is so or not.
you see, Professor Fisher has a
great deal at stake because he ha?
written' several (books, all based on
Jthe theory .that gold is the proper
basis for money. In fact his whole
theory amounts, practically, to shav
ing a little off the gold dollar whec
prices go up. But you can see foi
yourself how the Fisher weighted
gold would be knocked into a cock
ed hat if these Germans get to boot
legging synthetic gold around ovei
the world hy the shipload.
But those -who are skeptical about
the matter have comfort in reflec
tion that even if the Germans find
synthetic gold it will cost more tc
make it out of scrap metal than tc
dig it out of the ground and smelt
it out .of the' ore. You know, the
man who learned how to make arti
ficial diamonds had to give up the
business Jbecause the manufactured
diamonds cost more than the natur
ally formed stones. And then just
consider how much more bootleg li
quor costs than the genuine stuff.
Why won't dt he the same with boot
leg gold?
0.0
THE IMAGINES Y PROSPERITY
The financial difficulties with
which thousands of people, in every
part of this country, are afflicted
are in many cases, casualties of war
in a remote but true interpreta
tion of the word.
To the war inflation and its inevi
table temptation to speculate, they
fell an easy prey.
With prices of every conimoditj
tbooming 'and stocks booming, with
tales of fortune made over night, tc
buy and go on (buying seemed to of
fer the chances of gaining instant
wealth. So men, and women as well,
fcought shares in mills and banks, or
they bought lands, going into debt
There was nothing offering that
some of them did not buy.
The collapse came, as it had .tc
come, not only in this country but in
all countries.
One .hears much of the opportun
ities enjoyed by those whe
could not or did not go to the front,
in contrast with the soldiers and
sailors, but, were it possible to make
a survey one doubts if the average
wealth of those who stayed at home,
trading and earning, would .be as
certained as now greater on account
of these opportunities.
The opportunities had their dan
gerous and inseparable acocmpani
ment. The weakness of human na
ture, the shortsightedness of merw
obstacles to wealth getting, as they
always are. A few, an extraordinary
few, made and saved money, but the
great majority are as poor now as
they would have been had the elusive
and imaginary prosperity never ar
rived. Unless the young men who went
to the front were gifted with pre
science far greater than those of their
fathers and older (brothers, they, aa
a class, lost nothing of property
gains by their absence. Those who
were wounded, or lost health, or
made the supreme sacrifice, are in
another class.
The stay-at-homes, with occasion
al exceptions, are certainly no bet
ter off now than they were. What
war "prosperity" gave, it took away.
: o:
WE'RE FOR IT
Mr. Anderson of Washington is a
lawmaker after our own heart.
He has introduced a bill in the
House providing for .pure baseball.
We don't know what it is all
albout, hut we are for it just the
same.
If it is possible to get a purer or
better brand of baseball then the ar
ticle with which we are now being
served, it Is a consummation devout
ly to be desired. -
The gentleman from Washington
ha3 encumbered his bill with so much
legal verbiage that we don't know
exactly what he 1s aiming to accom
plish, but, -whatever dt is, we are
sure it s all right.
If he can make umpires more hon
orable and players more upright, un
der dire threats of punishment, we
are willing to let him go as far as he
likes.
By all means, let us have pure
baseball. Nest to poor liquor, it is
Nebraska'a greatest need.
DISABLED VETS
PROTEST AGAINST
STATE ASYLUMS
Declare Men Hopelessly Farmed Out,
when Chances for Recovery
Good if Given Care.
Washington. Jan. 16. Asserting
that the more than 3,500 mentally
disabled former service men now
placed in state institutions were vic
tims of such "gross neglect, indiffer
ence and profiteering" as constituted
a "black reproach of the honor of
the nation," the Disabled American
Veterans of the World War, in a me
morial presented today, to President
Harding, urged immediate action by
the government looking to the treat
ment of all such cases in federal in
stitutions. Neglect of the cases in
state institutions, the memorial said,
is committing to permanent insanity
Tiany of the victims who by timely
treatment probably could be cured.
Describing the condition of "con
'ract" cases of this class in the in
stitutions of the state of Ohio as
typical of thce in "practically every
itate," the memorial asserted the
government had "farmed out the
nsane ex-service men of Ohio to
tate asylums which are notorious
y overcrowded, undermanned, and
inadequately equipped to treat and
are for them,'" while it has not pro
vided one federal institution for this
purpose in the state.
The Longview asylum of Hamilton
county, Ohio, the memorial said, "is
o overcrowded that 240 inmates
leep on the floor like cattle every
night."
Of the mentally disabled placed in
ill the institutions of the state, of
vhom. it was said, physicians be
ieve half might be cured by treat
ment, not one, the memorial as
erted, was receiving medical treat
uent of any kind for the mental dis
3ases and curable cases are being
laily doomed to permanent insanity.
Vone of the institutions, it was fur
her asserted, segregate their tuber
cular patients.
An average profit of $300 on each
patient out of the $547.50 annual
-naintenance fee paid by the gov-
irnment was shown in figures for
fhe nine institutions of the state
ziied in the memorial.
In hundred3 of cases, it was as
serted, relatives are refusing to com
mit mentally disabled veterans who
might be restored to useful citizen
ship, to conditions in the "contract"
tsylums, most of which, the memor
al said, are "nothing more than
iockups."
Congress was urged to take early
action to remedy the situation.
NORFOLK. WILL BE HOST
OF THE FIREMEN TODAY
Norfolk, Jan. 16. The fortieth
annual convention of the Nebraska
Volunteer Firemen's association will
open here for a three-day session to
morrow. The vanguard of the dele
gates, expected to number 1,000. are
filling the city .today.
C. R. Frasier of Gothenburg, pres
ident of the association, is here and
v HI open the convention in the Aud
itorium at i o'clock in the evening.
Other speakers at the opening ses
sion will he Mayor John Friday.
Senator John McGowan of Norfolk,
Kev. Walter Rundin of Mitchell. J.
Roy Carter, president of the Norfolk
association. Following this session
the firemen will hold memorial ser
vices in memory of departed com
rades. 1
John Martin of Fremont, vice Dres-
ident of the association, is being
boomed for presidency. Several oth
er onices are in contest.
North Platte, Columbus, Fremont,
Gering and Scottsbluff are in the
field for the next convention.
SUITS TO QUIET TITLE
Two actions to quiet title have
een filed in the county court by
Attorney W. A. Robertson, being the
case.s of George P. Meisinger vs.
Samuel F. Latta, et al, arid Conrad
Meisinger vs. Paul Nucholls, et al.
If you are planning to attend the
masquerades this season do not fail
to secure your masks at the Journal
office. Our line is full and complete.
uf a nrmrnTPnu a
w. Hi nuocmoun .j.
Coates Block Second Floor !
EAST OF RILEY HOTEL
tH- :-:--h- -:-m
Satisfaction and Service Guaranteed
if Yoy Bring Your
ream, Eggs, Poultry
and Hides
-TO-
ERCY 53. IFIil.
located in the old laundry building, opposite
Cloidt Lumber Yard. Phone us or call bo
fore going elsewhere.
Phone 391
THTOSDAY, JANUARY 19, 1922-
SAYS MINERS
WILL NOT TAKE A
WAjOEDUCTION
President Lewis Declares f Strike
Results the Unions Will Not
Take the Blame For it.
Shamokin, Pa., Jan. 17. John L.
Lewis, international president of the
United Mine Workers, today told the
anthracite miners' wage convention
that there must be no ibackward step
in their atitude toward the demand
of coal companies to reduce wages.
"When I say we will take no back
ward step, I say dt with an appreci
ation of w hat that policy means, and
if it requires an industrial conflict
to avoid taking a backward step, then
the industrial conflict may come,"
the added.
Mr. Lewis is presiding at the hard
coal miners' convention, which will
formulate wage and other demands
to he presented to the coal operators
before March 31, when the present
contract exnires. Wage agreements
in the soft coal (fields expire at the
same time. Predictions nave oeea
marlft liv hard coal miners that in
stead of agreeing to a wage reduc
tion the anthracite men will demand
increases', among other things.
The mine workers do not desire
any cessation of employment alter
April 1, he said, and if there is no
iwarp onferenoe. lie added, the re
sponsibility will not rest with the
union.
"The mine workers want no indus
trial conflict." he declared. "We ab
hor the thought of a strike and yet
we do not propose to avoid the re
sponsibilities of such a conflict hy
doing anything contrary to the in
terests of our people or by doing
anything which in honor we should
not be bound to do."
A representative of the general
committee of anthracite operators
gave out a statement that "full time
operations of the anthracite mines on
the scale heretofore maintained will
not be possible in the coming year
without adjustments which will per
mit reducing the price to the con
sumer." DECORATES AMERICAN OFFICER
Rome, Jan. 17. King Victor Em
manuel today confered the grand
oros; and cordon of the crown of
Italy on Major General Henry Allen,
commander of the American forces
in Germany.
General Allen came with a detach
ment of troops to attend tomorrow's
ceremonies in honor of Italy's un
known soldier..
General Allen was received in u
dience this afternoon by the king.
Afterwards he was a guest at a re
ception of the Italo-American society.
The king also decorated Major
Fecht of the American expeditionary
forces, as an officer of St. Lazarus
and St. Mauritius; Captain Summer
and Capt. Oscar Stevens as officers of
the crown of Italy, and LieutS. Jas.
Cooper, Jr., George Barth and Alex
ander McConne, as chevaliers of the
crown of Italy.
The American doughboys tonight
were guests at a gala performance
of the opera "FalStaff."
The functions tomorrow will in
clude bestowal of the American con
gressional medal on the unknown
soldier.
LUNGARDIA is "without a rival"
in ordinary or deep-seated Coughs
and Colds, difficult breathing, and
for the relief of whooping cough.
The wonderful results following
its use will astonish you and make
you its life-long friend. Your
money back, if you have ever used
its equal. Danger lurks where
there is a cough or cold. Safe for
all ages. 60c and $1.20 per bottle.
Manufactured by Lungardia Co.,
Dallas, Texas. For sale by
Weyrich & Hadraba
WOMEN
Can You Use Some
EXTRA MONEY
If you want to earn some extra mon
ey in your SPARE TIME, show your
friends and neighbors a new and
handy household article, wanted in
every home.'NO MONEY REQUIRED.
I must have a representative in each
town and community. Write me TO
DAY, NOW before you forget it. A
post card will do.
MISS M. K. OLSON,
Plattsmouth -:- Nebraska