1 s sap Indispensable f Fcr til aches Irom hni to foci St Jacobs Oil T htt euritiva qualities to reach (lie PA!ttS end ACHES J ff t!,e tr.nrrn (jn-.l!. H t- re- Uvo Cirstuem promptly. Pric. 25c. tnJ 50o. 1t!,in Tiilnilm are tlirbit dy-Pfi-lil 111. .11.11,,, n,.r ,,,,. 'A liuwlr.-il in lilt, .tin nf Uin,, hme in-ti mild In tin. I'nttcl Mnt, H MI".I1 vcur. l',iltllli'li,ii I,,,..,. t r'i 1'iirii. li-k lu-ailni'lie, lly..ln.-, lui.l I'ri-uili, wire thn.Kt, ana i-vt-ry l,- aP tic arl.lntf I. u .ii i ' . 'innm-h arn reltt-vi'il it iiiri-,1 hy ltlmm 'l'uliiili' wHI Ki'iipmlly niva ri'lli'f nlililn iinty mm i ii. 'I'lic iiif. Hni lui'kntti i I'li.mgU lor uiOliiuiy i . .i-Ioim. All driisgl'in ull lUciu. WESTERN SUPPLY JOBBERS OF CO. PUMPS, WINDMILLS 2nd PLUMBING MATERIAL BELTING and THRESHER 8UPPLIES. PACKING and ELEVATOR REPAIRS. 8:0-812 N Street. . LINCOLN. NEBRASKA MANAGER WANTED liiistworihy ladsr or lentleman to rnanate bini ipss in Dili nniy and adjoining territory for wtdl in, I favorably known house of solid financial Hand' "-"v," ""'! cash itiliiryand eipensea V ml enrn Monday by cheik direct from headiuar ti'ti. Ipi-na money advanced; position Beruitt noil'., fcupprii'nre nut essential. Address T. J. COOPER, Manager. Como Block, CHICAGO, ILL. Not She. "What's that you are putting on the t liandelier?" asked her old bachelor uncle. 'Mistletoe," bhe answered. "Oil, I see. lint, aren't you afraid of microbes?" "What!" exclaimed (ho pretty girl, In artless surprise. "In the niistlo; t.n'?" Chicago Tribune. The Oat Wonder. The Editor must tell Its renders of this miirvcl. It originated with the largest farm feed growers In the world, .luliii A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Win. It has stiff struw, stands up like n fitoiie wall, is wlilte, heavy, and has lmi ears, tilled to the tip with fat, plump kernels. It is u great gtuoler, 80 stocks front one kernel. It VOU WILL SKNI) Tills NOTICE AXD 10c aVl STAMPS to above address, you will Ret a sam ple of this Oat Wonder, which yielded in 1903, in 40 Rates from 250 to 310 bu. P-r acre, together with other farm seed samples and their big catalog. OV. N. U.) It Isn't necessary to erect a monu. tnt'tu when you bury animosity. Some men are too busy to take rest until trie undertaker gets them. The Odd Korean Flag. The Koreans, who have lately re called their minister In Washington, at tract attention for one reason If for no other. Their peculiar flag adorns i heir legation huildinR. The body of the flag is white, and In tho renter Is a design about tho size of a foot ball in ren and blue, looking very much like huge entwined roinnia marks. On i lie top, bottom and Bides are short lines of dots and dashes, reminding one of the Morse rode alphabet. May Subpoena Roosevelt. If the Miit Instituted by W. A. Wales, an attorney of Hinghanipton, igninst .John Mitchell, president of tho I' tilted Mine Workers, for $200,000 iatnages, comes up for trial at Uing hiimpton, the defense may summon President Ronsovelt and Senators l"nit, tjuny and l'e.-.rose. Wales ns M ils tlm? in October he proposed tho plan which resulted In tho settlement d' the st like and that for his services lie lias never been paid Louis N. I lainnierling. confidential agent to Mr. Mitchell, says thnt President Hooso Mil and Senators Quay, Piatt and Penrose will he called to testify that 'he plan was formed before Wales went to Wlllf'sbarre ar.d made his T-uggostLin. DOCTOR'S COFFEE And His Daughter Matched Him. Coffee drinking troubled the family of a physician of Grafton. W. Ya., who describes the situation briefly: "Having Buffered quite a while from vertigo, palpitation of the heart and innnv ilbr.r dnrnn momenta of tho ncr- vous system and finding no relief' from usual methods of treatment, A thought to seo how much there was In tho Postuiu argument ng..lnst cof fee. "So I resorted to Posttim, rutting off the coffee and to my surprise and satisfaction have found entire relief from all my sufferings, proving con clusively the baneful effect ot coffee and the wav to bo rid of it. "I have found Posium completely takes the place of coffee both in flavor and in taste. It is becoming mord popular every day with many of our people and in havlnu great demand here. Mv daughter, Mrs. linng. has been a sufferer for a long time from at tacks of acute Indigestion. Uy tint dismissal of coffee and using Posttim In Its place bhe has obtained com ph-te relief. "I have also heard from ninny oth ers who havo used your Postum very favorable accounts of Its good effects. "1 prescribe Postum In place of rof fee In a preat ninny cases and 1 It Pevo that upon Its merits Postum will utiie Into general URe." Name plvca by Postum Co, Uattlo Creek, Mich. lxok for tho famous little book The Kosd to Wollvllle," In each pkg. t,y IN FAVOK OF TRUSTS. WHAT A VOTE FOR LICAN PARTY THE REPL Z MEANS. Some Facts Over Which the Wool Grower Will Co Well to Ponder Be fore the Coming Election Compe tition He His to Meet. It Is rather singular that about alt the products of the farm that have uo real tariff protection are advancing In price very materially but wool, the one product that Is protected to the verge of prohibition, is standing still, and in some classes even declining In price. Cotton ha been bringing more than the average price the fi rm er and sheep ranch nun are getting for wool. There is no tariff on cotton, no protection fosters its growth, w hile the tariff on wool Is eleven cents a pound. I low can our protection en thusiasts explain this anomaly, which, according to their theory, shows that the duty cm woo! Is still too low? Why don't they amend the tarifV and give tie; ' farmer more protection instead of standing pat? The imports of for eign wool are Increasing. The last report ot Commerce and Finance, Is sued by the Department of Commerce and Labor, Riven the imports of wool for the eleven months ending Novem ber for l'.ioi In pounds us 1 1 1.7 IS.4!)0; i:o2, n;i,r,:u,.ns; w3, ii;;!,2"s.3,.i2. Thus for the same period foreign wool has been coming in the past year at tlie rate of over liltv million pound:! more than in l!ml. What is the reason for this in creased competition of the foreign wool growers with our home product? In spile of nearly 100 per rent pro tort Ion the sheep Industry Is not so prosperous as it was w hen we had free wool tinder the tariff of 18!M. The price of woolen goods Is declining from the lnnbllity of the great ma jority of our people to buy wool cloth ing. Cotton and shoddy have largely taken the place of wool from the sheer necessity of the family with limited "neonies to meet t' e increased cost of living. The Importation of foreign wool is principally of the coarse grades, used in the manufac ture of carpets. That class of wool our wool growers cannot supply in sufficient quantity to supply the de mand, and the high ta-iff only adds to the cost of the articles made from It. The farmer, when he buys a car pet or other product made eif coarse wool, ppys it big tax on it, with not even the compensating advantage of an increased profit on the wool he himself raises. Those farmers who do not raise sheep are practically un protected by the tariff, all hough near ly all agricultural products are includ ed in schedule fl of the tariff law. yet the surplus of agricultural products raised abov.- what this country can consume, when sold abroad, must com pete In the world's markets and the price Is lixed by the foreign buyers. The price paid In the home market is controlled by the price the surplus brings, so in that raso protection does not protect the farmer. Theie are a few exceptions to this rule, Including those who raise sugar cane, rice and wrapper tobacco, but the trusts that control the market for those products get the largest slice of the profits. Some farmers who live near the Cana dian border may lie slightly protected from their Canadian neighbors hy tho lack of competition on eggs and vege tables, hut this advantage, if any. is ( more than overcome by the Increased price of what they purchase. The farmer that votes to continue the protective tariff votes to protect and foster the trusts, anil not only pays the tariff tax to the government but a much greater tax on about all he buys to the favo. ed corporal ions. SECRETARY SHAW ASSAILED. Republican Officeholder Denounces His Statements as "Miserable Un truths." The report given out from Repub lican sources Hint Secretary Shaw Is soon to retire from the cabinet should be true. If the charges made by Gen. II. II. Thomas are substantiated. He accuses Secretary Shaw of violations of the civil service law and of playing petty politics In his removal from the ofllee of appraiser of the p rt of Chi cago. In a letter to Secretary Shaw, Cieiieral Thouins says: "On the 17th of December lust you w rote, ostensibly by direct ion of the president, requesting my immediate resignation on the pretext of 'secure ment of more vigorous administra tion.' Had you stopped there I might have had some respect for you. but. you evidently thought a lit ! tHffy would sweeten the bitter ditse, so vim told me the resignation was not wanted for the purpose of giving somebody a place, and that 'there was no politics In It.' I will not rharae terl.e the statements as lies, for that might be construed ns imparl! imen tary. hut I will say they are miserable untruths, nnd yon know them to be,, and must have known that I know them to be. Had not you agreed with Senutor Hopkins in August to appoint llloy, and haven't you carried out the eoniTiict ? "Hut 1 have other nnd more serious charges to prefer against ou. The Republican party prides Itself upon Its devotion to tho civil service law, and you have sworn to enfi rec that as well as other laws Let us see tlie performance. In A i Tit last there r curied a vacancy In the tobacco exam iner's ofllee, which carried a salary of $loo. There being no ellglbles to select from, you appointed Mr. Labium for a thirty days' term at $lo per day. You reappointed hi in each month until Sept. 2. when n competitive ex amination was held, in which he par ticipated and failed to pass. A half liorcti of them did pass and some nt th 'in well up In the nineties, and the law made It one of oitr duties to ap point one if the three highest, but you set aside the law and have apMiinted l-ahiuin five times since." Secer'.iiy Shaw has appointed In place ot (iener.il Thomas human I lli.y, who win tnntingcr of the rain paigtl which resulted 111 the electimi of A. F. Hopkins to the Culled States Ki mile, ho t Ii lit one charge Is proven, for there certainly is "politics In it." Secretary Sluiw may try to pose as a civil service reformer, hut from the appointment to filer he has mad ho must be Julgo'l to be a spoilsman of the rampant stripe. From the parti san standpoint there is nothing to complain about In the effort to reward political strikers, but as the Roose velt administration claims to be most ardent In the cause of civil service re form, the double dealing and subter fuge employed In rewarding its friends with otTlciul positions is de spicable. As the president directed Secretary Shaw to carry out this po litical deal, It will be but retribution if his own head falls in the basket, when somebody more politically use. fill demands it. "To the victors belong the spoils," is the strenuous way politics are run ning nowadays. Republican Bluff Or Worse. The Republicans have fooled the people so often and so long, or at least they think they havo done so. in r? gard to prosperity and its causes that tliey think the people will believe whatever the Republicans tell them. This Is having a demoralizing effect upon the Republicans and is making them even more reckless of f.cts than formerly. If the Republican lead ers In Congress assert that black Is whlto they fully expect a majority of the people to believe it, at least on election day. The Republicans have but one cause for prosperity the Hingley tariff act and continued Republican administra tion. (iooiI crops In this country with high prices, occasioned by scarcity abroad, cuts no Ice, in their plan of salvation, for all of these things will be reversed if the wicked Democrat:) should get control of the government; al least, so the Republicans unhesitat ingly tell us, for haven't we had ex perience in the past? Now that we are In the midst of a severe depression in industry ami that hundreds of thousands are out of em ployment entirely, while millions aro working at reduced wages, the Repub licans continue to prattle about "Re publican prosperity" and to assert that we are more prosperous than ever before. When the Hon. J. G. Cannon was nominated for opeaker of the House, he said, in a speech to the Republican caucus: "The people never were so well and perfectly employed as now." In a speech In the House on Dec. 1, Congressman Hepburn of Iowa tin bliishingly stated: "To-day every man in the United States who wants to work finds em ployment In the great labor fields of the l.nited Mates, and at a compen sating wnge. When has there been a time when the distribution of wealth was as great as it is now, and when the humblest and the poorest had so large a share of the accumulations ot each year as now? There never has been a time." Of course the Democrats quickly ac cept such challenges as to the present condition of industry and business. Th"y are having long lists of wage re ductions' and closed mills printed In the Congressional Record. They are also printing numerous statements from leading Republican papers and from trade journals which freely and frankly declare that we are now nt the beginning of what appears to be a period of depression and are dis cussing the probability of the extent of this period. But what do the Re publicans care for these facts when they are confident that, they can de lude the voters into believing that everybody Is prosperous? Are the people really hypnotized on election day by these leading Republicans? Will the people ever open their eyes and see the facts for themselves? When they do there will he a big nnd tiiied collection of Republican states men out of jobs. Times will surely get bad right away; very, very bad. Miles and Young. If an added proof were needed that President Roosevelt and 'Secretory Hoot went out cf their way to ad minister a snub to General Miles, It may be found In the fulsome compli ments paid to General Young In the onim- retiring him when he reached the age limit. General Miles was dis missed with a cold and blunt order, and administration apologists claimed that it was m.t permissible to do otherwise. 1 tiit when Gen. Young retired it was with extreme difficulty that the secretary of war found words enough to express Ills compliments. P.y calling attention to their own lit tleness the detractors of Gen. Miles only emphasized his greatness. The (Viuimuicr. Secretary Shaw Again Effervescing. Secretary Shaw finds much time these busy days to get away from his irksome tiensury work at Washing ton nnd to make stump speeches in various parts ot the country. And when he does get away, he puts even Senators Foraker and Lodge in tho shade as original Roosevelt men. Ho bubbles with fine adjectives descrip tive of the superlative qualities of the Roosrvcltian administration. He told the members of the Marquetto club nt Chicago on Lincoln's birthday that no Issue and no candidate could b'fit Roosevelt. He said, "He the Isjsue what It may, the result of the next election Is assured." Of coiirso Hint settles it. Whole Session A horse can but ealini t be wise President of Congress Wasted. be led to the water, made to drink. Like Roosevelt can call a special session of congress, but he cannot make the Republican major ity of that body pass legislation that he recommends as urgent and Im poitaiit. The late extraordinary ses sion of Conmeis in November enacted one important measure: that Is, It was of the greatest lniH,rtanee to tho law givers, but, ns far as the public was concerned, they could very well have awaited the regular session for Its piHSMte. This sole law was a Joint resolution providing for tho payment of mlleace to the members. Our Economic Attcrny General. Attorney Geferal Knox, In reply to an Inquiry, reports that In the last car he has expended about 2."iO00 of the J"tm. Voted him to assist III proseetiHlnf the triMa. At the rat" he Is Vorhifg the npproprintioti will run hi ili'pm t tin in i,,i I ; -vm. Fven a Republican Congress expected n lion I twenty time h nuirli activity as he has displayed. BaBUuaWaBatMBraaaaM . laarfaBaaaaJanBC Commoner RAILROAD BONDS AND FARM MORTGAGES. - Secretary Shaw has permitted the ac ceptance, as security for government deposits in the national banks, of all bonds which the savings bank law of the state of New York permits the sav ings banks to invest In. As a result, th secretary accepts first mortgage railroad bonds of companies which have paid dividends on their stocks for a period of ten years. It will be remembered that the Aid rich bill Introduced in the senate pro vided for tho acceptance of railroad bonds. The Aldrich bill did not pass, and, Indeed, received small encourage ment outside of financial circles, and yet Secretary Shaw has undertaken to demonstrate that he is a law unto him self. The Wall Street Journal does not ap prove of Secretary Shaw's action in this respect. The Journal says that it would not be inclined to enter serious objection If this were but a temporary expedient, and not to serve as a prece dent. The Journal takes the pains to say that It has no intention of "casting discredit upon railroad bonds, which constitute some of the best securities that the world presents;" but we find that the Journal fears the logical result of the acceptance of railroad bonds. It explains that In the light of Secretary Shaw's action "the farmers of the coun try may legitimately claim that If the government is to plare its money on railroad bonds, it should not discrimi nate against their mortgages." That would seem to be very natural: and yet. It is not at. all likely that Wall street generally will agree that the farmers could legitimately make such a claim. When a few years ago the populists proposed that the government should loan money on farm mortgages, the proposition was met with sneers by the Wall street magnates; and the plan was not at all popular throughout tin country. And yet, when It. Is proposed to loan money on railroad bonds. Wall street Is very generally favorable to the plan, while there does not appear to be, throughout the country, any consider able disquietude with respect to the proposition. Perhaps American people have be come quite accustomed to accepting the Wail street view ns being the correct one, however Inconsistent its protests, rgainst one plan may be with it'i cham pionship of another plan. It Is but n short step from the ac ceptance of railroad bonds as security for government deposits and- the iv roptnnce of railroad bonds as the ha-i for national bank circulation. Ii' tlie secretary of the treasury can, without cxpre-s authority of law, accept rail rond bonds as security In the one case, there seems to be no reason why he may not, without authority of law. ac cept railroad bonds In the oilier case. To a man like Congresinati Shafroth the words of praise bestowed upon him for his manly action are worth more than congressional honors or the sal aried emoluments thereof. It Is worthy of note thnt the only congressman who ever resigned a seiit after learning that he was not honrstly elected Is a democrat. A dispatch to the Cincinnati Inqiiiii"-. under date of Live Oak. Fla.. February lil, quotes Mr. llryan as saying: "Mr. llanna has grown In public estimation during the last eight years, his recent elrdion demonstrating his inirensing hold upon the people of his state, lie won his place nt the head If his pirty in the actinic and In the nation by his extraordinary exniitlve ability and by his klll in organizing the forces that control that party. F.veti his political opponents recognized the strength of his persifr.nlity and his many admirable qualities, lie was one of the tno.,t forceful men In modem polities." Judging by the appointment of "Doe" Jamleson. It must be evident thnt President Roosevelt Is n strenu ous civil service reformer only when the appointment of spoilsmen will not serve his purpose better. If It Is true thnt .Mr. Siliwnb. tpour lug of the shipbuilding trust, said: "All Is lost i-bvp I'ltior." thin. Imbed, a his assets pituoly small. It seems that the only thing doliu At the bt-ailqiiaitets of The Hague penie trlbiinnl Is the mailer of ja'i1- ) ulstltiR in tlie d'se t( li t The Light in the Window. Comment CLKVICLAND ON TRI'STS. The Montgomery Advertiser in a la bored editorial attempts the defense of Mr. Cleveland's administration. It ns serts that Mr. Cleveland in "his last annual message, December, ISilli, de nounced the trusts in the strongest pos sible terms, declaring that 'their tend ency is to crush out individual Inde pendence and to hinder or prevent the free use of human facilities and the fill! development of human character.'" Yes. he used those words after the election of his successor and after his surrender to the corporations had caused his repudiation by his party. Hut why did he not do something to destroy tlie trusts? He did not. enforce the existing law any better than Presi dent MiKinley or President Roosevelt, neither did he recommend any specific measure for tlie extermination of the trusts. After a term of inaction dur ing which the trusts constantly grew he went, through the farce of kicking at them as he left the White house and the insincerity of his effort Is shown by the fact that he would lie the unani mous choice of the trusts today if they were allowed to select the democratic candidate, provided tliey thought he could be elected. The trusts would con tribute more liberally to his campaign than to the fund of any other man who could be named .by the democratic party, for they would feel more certain of being allowed to make the money back out of the pockets of the people, regardless of its effect on tlie demo cratic party. INSTRUCT. A casual reading of the corporation dailies is enough to convince any one that there Is a concerted plan on foot among the reorganizes to prevent in structions. "Selei t good, conservative men," they say, " and leave I hem frc to act according to their judgment." In every district they are working for a delegate who will follow the dictation of Wall street and If they can succeed In sending these men uninstriiolcd, Wall street will write tlie platform, name the candidates and control the organization. If the voters are heard at all tliey must he heard In the pri maries tind in the county conventions A motion to Instruct for the renftlrmn- Hon of the Kansas City platform will draw the line lmtwtcn those who wan to miiKe an honest light ami those who want to surrender the party Into the hands of t lie flnnneieis. The Sioux City Journal nys that Wall street Is coining around to Rote e veil, which Is proof that a grent light bus "dawned upon Wall siieet." The .loiirtial Is mistaken. It is not a new light ; It is merely Wall street acknowl edging the fact that Its attempt to be fuddle the people was a dismul failure. Pending settlement of the vexed question as to who is "father of the new invy," it might be well to help the child get rid of a whole lot of use less nurses who get most of the baby's malted milk. J Adam llede's contention that the di niocratlc parly should disband mav be founded on the fact that he can not understand why it did not after he left it. J. Adam mistakes the size of the hole he left. ,L? Slo.it Fassett still Insists-that we are under treaty obligations to Korn. Strange (hat .1. Sloal falls to keep nn with the pnnrssloii. Were we not also under treaty obligations to Colombia? And whnt's a little tnntter like a treaty with. a world power when that power wants to gobble something? Pott master General Payne has l.isued nn order that only l!e telephones shall lie allowed In poMoflh rs. Why? Well, the fact that Mr. Payne Is a stock holder In the Hell Telephone loinpany may have had something in n the order. Dr Harper siivs (hat irlthism of Mi. R,n kel'eller Is not burred I'roni Chlt.i: university. Certainly not, but tieiihei I any professor in Hie unlverslt.v barred from thrusting his head Into ii lien's mouth If he leally wntils lo ilu Dr. Hal per is too aw fully Innoieiit. It appears lliat gned has not been so thoroughly shackled Hint It ian not r-n i!.: h lll'o It p'iili'1 ir.d i'- ,: for the g. o. p. i niiipaiuli f.ind. The gentlemen who are shrieking so loudly for harmony." are ihe geini.. tneii who rul ed the runiptis That r,et i luv.ild n il be ovei In !,'"! Courtesy of The Commoner. Sl'RRlCNDKIt DKMANDKD. Some of the organizers profess to believe that the silver question is the only obstacle in the way of harmony. As evidence that complete surrender is demanded it Is only necessary to cite the recent experience in Ohio. The democrats of that state uinile a fair test of this matter lasl fall. Mr. Clark', the man namd for the United Stales senate against Mr. llanna, was a bolter in islili and made speeches for the Palmer and Hui-kuer ticket. On other questions lie was with the parly and had shown his sympathy with the peo ple by supporting the reforms for which Johnson wns contending. Relieving that his sympathies were right, tin democrats, at the request of Mr. John son, nominated him nnd th" silver men ns a rule supported him. but in spite of the fad that the republican papers took pnins to advertise that he had not changed his opinion on tlie sil ver question he was defeated by an overwhelming majority. His advocacy of (be gold standard did not. save him, nor did it conciliate the reorganize!-.-. They make a great deal of noise about l(i to 1. but they are not content with a surrender on that point. They In sist that tlie platform, candidates and the party organization shall represent organized wealth on all points and that the democratic party shall be a minia ture edition of the republican party. Nothing less than this will 'restore the kind of "harmony" they want. HK HOLD AT Till1' PRIMARIES. The Louisville Post says that In 1SM! and l!)0ii the democratic party repudi ated the platform of 1K!C. and adds: "Now if the democratic parly has again changed Its opinion there Is no reason why it should not have th" equal boldness to repudiate tlie plat forms of isiui and Hum." Are the post and the people whom if represents will lug to make th" test of the election of delegates to the national convent ion tile quest ion as to whether the national pint forms of lSlnl nnd Jimo shall be re pudiated? If the Post leally desires to be bold, will it be willing that the boldness be displayed at the primnricn rather than reserved for the convention tloor. after delegates have been elected on the so-called harmony platform. FOUNDATION OF MORALITY. In his address nt Chicago. Bishop John I.. Spalding sounded this wn:n Ing: "If the present methods continue a few individuals and trusts will soon control the means of production and distribution and this In an era In which money Is the mightiest form of social Influence and dominion. I'd these ft w individuals nnd corporations will be long nn authority nnd power greater than any history makes know n - an authority nnd power whiih are Incom patible wli!i poliiiuil libeity anil pop ular iiisiiiuiior.s. If our national wi I fare cense lo resi on a foundation of religion and morality It will vanish." It seems I hut nn Invest igat ion has brought mil the fact that 20 per cent of the gas meters In New York City measure loo fjsl nnd that the gas wns In many msen adulterated. This Is the natural result of a private monopoly, but would not exist under municipal ownership. It will be observed that the newspa pers that howl loudest about "yellow journalism" have nothing to say about the crimson and buff tendencies of the ndmlnlsirniion malingers of Washing ton court clique! '.e. The Washington Post savs: Mr. Bryan declares thnt no one will be ndmllied to the St. Louis convention who is ntitagonlsilc to the Kansas City plat form." Annniiliis was struck dead for Just such misrepresentation, but owing to chnnges the Post pninginpher Is safe-for ft time. The Iowa null-trust law has been de i hired tiucoiisiliiitlonnl on a techni cality. Some or these days It mnv happen thai the taxpiiyns will bene lil by n teehnli alily, but It uppenrs to be a very fiilnt sort of a hope. A democrat ir ndnilnlsiinilon pur. ihii-ed Willi trust money would be worse for the lonsiiiners than a repub lican admilil: nation. That's the only difii n nee. When n "mptaln of ludui lr " us, the mails to defined It Is nil'ed "rublle liiiNl'i Ii ring." When nnvhmly obe doe ib.e same tl.lu ll 1-.. ::li- d a i rime. Ii seems that China Is destined to prt humped If the door is open, nnd badly jammed if the door Is closed. The pass Ib-nd will have some dim cull y In nii 'nklnp Into lo aven that wr. Hymn Scared the Crows. The daughter of a country lector taught the choir boys a new tune at a Monday evening's practice, to bi sung oil til follow ing Sunday. Suu day mornlnc came. "Well, Sammy, " said Miss X . "I hope you haven't forgotten the new tune, for we depend much oil you." "Naw, mum, not a bit. Why, I'vo been askeering the crows with it all the week." London Answers. Scotch Dialect. "I got quite Interested In a book that a man left out In the woods tho other day." said the Cist owl. "Nonsense!" cried his mute; "you can't understand tic human lan guage' "lint this wasn't altogether human. It was by a mini named McTnvisli M icPliersoii. and it was full ot 'hoots.' " Modern Sherlock Holmes. Again the modern Sherlock wu: vic torious. "1 have discovered that It Is a girl baby," he whispered. "How did you lind thai out?" asked the mystified man. "I gave it a newspaper to play with and it tore out the bargain Males first thing." Sad Home-Coming. "At the sight of his son tho happy father fell on his neck." The Man Behind the Gun. "That," remarked the resident of the town in a whisper, "Is one of our 'big guns.' " "And who is Hie quiet little chap with him?" asked the visitor. "Tlie man behind the gun," replied the resident, "who keeps It tin from mooting off ills opinions tit the wrong time. He is the big fellow's secre tary." Dcntictry's Religious Training. Dentist (after struggling for twenty minutes In a vain endeavor to extract tho tooth) "1 must say you -yon have the firmest tooth I ever had to ileal with." Patient "I'm In nne hurry. It's grauu' practice for ye; an" it'll teach ye that we maun a' work for oor liv In'." Stray Stories. The Fireproof Drama. "How did you enjoy the play last night?" "I was a good deal disappointed. The fireproof paint on tins scenery looked Just like any ordinary paint, and I don't believe the nevj steel cur tain Is as heavy ns 2.0O0 pounds as It has been advertised." Chicago Tribune. Six Months Ahead. "I r-upose things are rather back ward in jour business now," said the friend. "Backward?" exclaimed the sport ing goods salesman, "they're decid edly forward. The boss just told me If 1 wanted a vacation this summer I'd have to take it now while we're dull." It All Depended. "Don't we go any higher?" asked the facetious guest In the Chicago ho tel when the elevator stopped at the twenty-fourth floor. "Not unless the elevator drops, sir," answered the truthful elevator hoy. Judge. Shutting Him Up. "It strikes me, Mary," mildly Ob- scrvid Mr. Slowun, "that these cakes would be decidedly belter if they bad a liHle more ginger in them." "So would ymt, John," calmly re joined the feminine end of tho com bine Tricks All Photographers Know. 'He claims to havo in vented a camera, that makes peoplo prettier than they are." "How Is that?" "By simply maklns tho lens flatter." St ray StorleH. Times Have Changed. "The hand that rocks the cradle Is Ihe hand Hint rules Ce world" not always. Bench and Bar. .lud!,e Row tides -Your fjco Is fa miliar. I've seen you before. Prisoner Yes, your honor, quite often. Judge Rowndes Ah! vhat was the :hargu the last tln.e I saw you? Prisoner I think it was 15 cents, your honor, 1 mixed n cocktail for )ou. Asking Too Much. "My denr," mil. I Ardupp. "I lure tin le a little ptep.irntl'in for your fu ture. Had my life Insured for $5,009 to day." "Oh. how thoer.htfiil of you. John." jxrtalmed Mr. A. "And con I il the money right aw a; '" , rat'!? 1SI