She Re, ndi.ted the Charg.
At the iwu'x service In u Yorkshire
pnrinli t?it vlrar tried to convey th;
lossou that I ho irucst heroic mid hero
ines are those who tin nolile deeds la
the secret corner of tha home, where
Done cut) we or nilnud.
"Few of you seem to think," he con
cluded, "(hut your wives staying at
borne uiKximplalnliiKly to nilud tho
children and riure the lunula are
heroines, ami yet tbelr touching devo
tion to duty proves them to be bo."
It certainly hadn't struck one old
farmer In this way before, and as soon
as he got home he promptly told his
wife that the vicar bad called ber I
heroine.
"Whatever does that meanT asked
the good lady.
"Oh, It means a woman who stays In
f bouse Instead of goln art to show
herBen," explained the farmer vaguely.
"Then I'm not a heroine, an' I'll
thang t' vicar to mind what he's say
In'," snapped the wife. "I go to bis
church as much as f other women do,
an' be must be blind If he can't see
me. Why, I'd five different colors in
t' bonnet I wore last Sunday!" Lon
don Spectator.
The First Balloons.
The chemical philosophers have dis
covered a body (which I have forgot
ten, but will Inquire) which dissolved
by an acid emits a vapor lighter than
the atmospherical alf. This vapor Is
caught, anions other means, by tylmt
a bluddcr compressed upon the bottle
In which the dissolution is performed.
The vapor, rising, swells the bladder
and (Ills It. Tho bladder Is thou tied
and removed and another applied till
as much of thin llht nlr Is collected as
is wanted. Then a large spherical
case is made, and very lnrt;o It must
be, of the lightest matter that can be
found, secured by some method like
that of oiling silk against all passago
of nlr. Into this are emptied all the
bladders of lljjht nlr, and If there is
light air enough It mounts Into the
clouds upon the same principle as a
bottle filled with water will sink In
water, but a bottle. (Hied with ether
will floaty It rises till It comes to nlr
of equal tenuity with Its own If wind
or water does not spoil it on the way.
Such, mndum, Is an air balloon. From
Dr. Johnnon's Letter, Sept. 22, 1783, to
Mrs. Thrale.
Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonsta."
The story runs that Beethoven's
"Moonlight Sonntu" ulwnys so called,
though he so rarely gave a descriptive
name to any tf liU works wus com
posed on an occasion when he hud
been playing to some stranger folk
by chnuce. Walking with n friend, he
overheard In a humble house some
one playing with much feeling a bit
of one of his sonatas. He paused to
' listen. In a muuient the music ceased,
und a girl spoke luiiin,ly of her wish
to heur some really good concert. The
volco was so appealing that the com
poser stepped wlifcnut hesitation to
the door and knocked. Admitted to
the wondering host, lie said, "I will
pluy for you," and played wonder
fully till the lamp burned out. Then
with the moonlight tilling the room he
, began to improvise the mysterious
delicate breathings of the beginning
of that wonderful sonata, then the
tricksy elf-like second part, and the
glory of the close. Christian Science
Monitor.
Long Words.
While our language docs not contain
such long words as are found in some
other tongues nor so many words of
uuusual length, still we have several
that aro awkwardly long for conversa
tional purposes. Wo have "phllopro
genltivenecs." with twenty letters; "in
terconvertlbllitles," with twentj-oue;
"iiitereoinmunlcabllllles," with twenty
two; "dlsproportlonableness," with
twenty-three, and "transsubstantlatlon
nllsts" and "eontradistlnguishnbllity,"
each containing twenty-four letters. An
effective little word Is "syuncategore
niatlr," as It manages to compress
eight syllables into seventeen letters.
The longest monosyllables contain
nine letters, and there are four ex
amples: "splotched," "squelched,"
"strengths" and "stretched." New
York Tribune.
Printers' Marks.
The Interrogation mark or "point"
(?) was originally a "q" and an "o,"
the latter placed under the former.
They were simply the first and last
letters of the Latin word "questio."
.So, too, with the sign of exclamation
or Interjection (!). In its original pu
,rlty it was a combination of "1" and
"o," the lutter underneath, as in the
question mark. Tho two stood for
lo," the Latin exclamntlon of Joy.
'The paragraph mark is a Greek "p,"
the initial of the word paragraph. The
early printers employed a dagger to
show that a word or sentence was ob
jectionable and should t c'Jt out
A Silent Man.
Jorklns There's Terkins-you know
Ferkins entered into an agreement
with his wife soon after their mar
riage, twenty, years ago, that when
ever either lost temper or stormed the
other was to keep silence. Bob And
the scheme worked? Jorklns Admi
rably. Terklns has kept silence for
twenty yeurs.
' Take Your Choice.
From Sir John Lubbock w e take this
ennobling thought: "You may see In
a shallow pool cither tho mud lying
at the bottom or tho imago of the blue
sky above."
Feed Him. '
If you want to wlu the gratitude of
a doe. feed him. As to men, tne ma
terial difference is the quality of the
food.-BaltImore News.
Flcure It Out Far Y'turtslf.
If you want a hard case there Is the
case of a man who late ot night
bought a bottle of whisky lit a public
house price. 3. (Id. says the Loudon
Globe. lie handed over a five pound
note, and the publican would not
chnngo it. "All right," said the cus
tomer. "Give me the whisky and Ms.
Cd. and keep my five pound note."
Next morning the customer came in,
plauked down four sovereigns and
said, "Give me back my five pound
note and we shall be straight." The
publican and the sinner looked at each
other. Can you tell at a glance which
got the better of the bargain when the
customer went away with his Ave
pound note In bis pocket?
The question puzzled a whole office
full of literary, financial, sporting,
philosophical and editorial men until
It reached a girl of eighteen who la en
gaged In dealing with cash. All the
rest were calculating on paper and
reaching the cesult by devious ways.
The cash girl saw It In a flash of the
eye. ' Do you? . 8 but your eyes and do
It In five seconds If you wish to beat
the cash girl.
Wonderful Victoria Falls.
"It Is well nigh Impossible to de
scribe a scene of such wonder, such
wlldness." says Lady Sarah Wilson In
her "South African Memories" of the
Victoria falls. But Bhe gives this
graphic description: "Standing on a
point flush with the river before it
makes its headlong leap, ' wo gazed
first on the swirling water losing it
self lu snowy spray which beat re
lentlessly on face and clothes while
tho grent volume wus noisily disap
pearing to unknown and terrifying
depths. The sightseer tries to look
across, to strain his eyes and to see
beyond thnt white mist which ob
scures everything, but It is an impos
sible task, and be can but guess the
width of the falls, slightly horseshoe
in shape, from the green trees which
seem so far away on the opposite
bunk and are only cuught sight of
now and then as the wind causes the
spray to lift At tho same time his
attention Is fixed by a new wonder
the much talked of rainbow. Never
varying, never changing, thnt perfect
shaped arc Is surely more typical of
eternity there than anywhere else."
Curran and Lord Clare.
Curran, the Irish advocate, was on
terms of Intense enmity with Lord
Clare, the Irish lord chancellor, with
whom, when a member of the bar, he
fought a duel and whose hostility to
him on the bench, he always said,
caused him losses In his profession
al income which he could not esti
mate at loss than 30,000. The inci
dents attendant on this disagreement
were at times ludicrous in the extreme.
Oue day when It was known thnt Cur
ran was to make an elaborate state
ment in chnnccry Lord Clare brought
a large Newfoundland dog to the
bench with him and during the prog
ress of the most material part of the
case began In full court to fondle the
animal. Curran stopped at once. "Go
on, go on. Mr. Curran!" said Lord
Clare. "Oh, I beg a thousand pardons,
my lord! I renlly took it for granted
that your lordship was engaged In con
sultation!" Two Smart Actors.
In a popular historic drama the ac
tor who takes the part of Napoleon is
required to read aloud a document of
considerable length which is brought
to him by General Berthler. This,
being written at length. Is seldom com
mitted to memory. A short time ago,
however, the property master at an
English theater mislaid the document,
ond Napoleon, who was new to the
purt, received instead a blank sheet of
paper. For a moment ho was aghast;
then, eager to escape from his pre
dicament even at the expense of a
fellow actor, he handed the paper to
General Berthler. saying, "Rend It to
me."
Tho other actor was not In tho lenst
confused, "Your majesty." he said.
handing it bnck. "I am only a poor
soldier of fortune, and you must ex
cuse me. I do not kuow how to read!"
His Emancipation.
Away back In 1771 Josluh Woodburv
of Beverly, Mass., thus published his
happy emancipation from matrimonial
woes:
Beverly. Sept. 16, 1771.
Ban away from Joslah Woodbury, coop
er, h house plague for seven long years,
llusury Old Moll, alias Trial of Venge
ance. He that lout will never seek her;
he that shall keep her I will give two
Bushel of Beans. I forewarn all Persons
In Town or County from trusting said
Trial of Vengeance, l have hove all the
old (shoes) 1 can Unci for joy, and all my
neighbors rejoice with me. A good Rid
dance of bad Ware. Amen!
JOSIAH WOODBURY.
Not Troubled.
Xrat Tenntit-I abkefi yci when I
snted this place if you toad ever been
tfouMed by e'ukkeu itaeta, and you
Bald no. Every one of my chickens
was Btolen last night, and I am told
that the neighborhood has been Infest
ed with chicken thieves for years.
Suburban Agent I never keep chick
ens, A Narrow Escape.
"What! You n widow, dear cousin?"'
"Yes,"
"Well. that'B a lucky escape for me.
Do you know, I nearly married you
once." Bon Vlvant
' A Roatt.
"It takes Freddlo so long to make up
his mind."
"Why should It? He has almost no
tnaterlal to work on." Cleveland Lead
r.
Frugnlity Is founded on the prlncl
le that all rlclcn have limits. Burke.
No Toadying.
Among the good old ways of "merrle
England" is thp tendency to democracy
prevalllLH 12 h"r boys' schools, par
ents can be u.wured. It is said, that no
pampering will full to the lot of their
sons, however exulted may be their
rank or great their possessions. An
English paper tells the story of an
Indian official of high rank culling
upon tho house muster in a famous
Jubllc school, where a young prince.
Ion of a rajab. was being educated.
This official brought a special message
from his master, the rajah, to the ef
fect that be wanted no favors or ex
ceptional treatment of any sort ex
tended to his son on account of bis ex
alted birth.
"You may set the mind of the rajah
at rest on that score," said the bouse
master, struggling to keep back bis
smile before the dignified anxiety of
the Indian official "If the authorities
were inclined to discriminate in the
prince's favor, the boys of the school
would set tbe matter right Among
them generally the rajah's son an
swers to the name of 'Nigger,' and I
understand that with bis Intimates he
Is familiarly known aa 'Coal Scuttle.' "
' Sinieter Motives.
Two men William Jones and John
Smith were neighbors and deadly en
emies. They often crossed swords in
court and out of it. and Jones, being
what might be called more clever than
Smith, Invariably got the better of the
encounter. In the end so cowed was
Smith that the slightest move on the
part of Jones mude him nervous and
suspicious, and with the remark, "1
wonder what object he has lu this?"
he colled up all his reserve faculties to
combat the fresh attack which poor
Joues never contemplated.
Oue day a friend called on Smith and
greeted him with:
"Well, old man, have you beard the
uews?"
"No," said Smith. "What news?"
"Jones Is dead. He died last night
at midnight," replied tho other.
Smith paused, drew a hard breath,
raised his hand to bis forehead and
thought, then blurted out: '
"Dead, did you say Jones dead?
Grent heaveus! I wonder what object
be has In this?"
Lights His Pipe In a Gale.
I write as one who has smoked in his
tine more matches than most people,
and it will be understood how I regard
tho bus driver's ability In lighting a
pipe. A gale may be blowing, tho
horses requiring special attention, his
left eye engaged on the reflection of
tho omnibus in shop windows, a pas
senger inquiring who won the Derby
In 1SS4, constables issuing directions
with tho right arm, a fare balling blm
from- tho pavement, and nmld nil these
dlstructlons he can strlko one wooden
match, hold It In the curve of bis baud
and the tobacco is well alight Also
while hats are blowing about the
streets in the manucr of leaves in uu
tuuin bis headgeur never goes from its
place, rarely moves from the angle de
cided on the first Journey. I have al
ways assumed that bo takes It off at
night before retiring to rest hut to
purt with it must mean a terrible
wrench. London Express.
Spontini'c Decorations.
Casparo Spontlni, the composer, re
garded himself lu tho light of a demi
god, and when inspirations crowded
upon blm he douned a wide, toga
like gown of white silk with a border
of gold and a fez of white silk em
broidered lu gold from which a heavy
tassel hung down. With great dignity
ho But down before his desk, and if
a grain of dust was visible on the
paper on which he penned his music
be rang the bell Impatiently for his
servant to remove tho obstacle. Spon
tlni owned so many medals and deco
rations that they could no longer be
accommodated on his breast At a
grand musical reunion at Halle an old
musician remarked to a comrade, "See
how many decorations Spontlni has,
while Mozart has not oue." Spon
tlni. who overheard it replied quickly,
"Mozart, my dear friend, does not
need them."
A South African Animal.
There is a curious looking animal, in
South Africa that looks for all the
world like a piece of toast with four
legs, a head and a tall. It resembles
a pussy cat about the forehead and
ears, but its nose Is distinctly that of
a rat while its tall Is not very dis
similar to that of a fox.' This strange
animal is called the aard wolf and
doubtless dwells In South Africa be
cause, Judged by his looks, he would
not be admitted Into good animal so
ciety anywhere else.
Why He Deaired a Cannon.
It Is related that an Indian chief
once approached General Crook and
wanted to borrow a canned.
"Do you expect me to loan you a
cannon with which to kill my sol
diers?" tho old veteran inquired.
"No," the chief replied; "kill soldiers
with a club. Want cannon to kill cow
boys." Thermometer Down.
Little Willie Say, pa, doesn't It get
colder when the thermometer falls?
Ta-Yes, my son. Llttlo Willie Well,
ours has fallen, ra How far? Little
Willie About five feet, and when it
struck tho porch floor It broke.
Her Prize.
Daughter Did you have to fish
much, mamma, before you caught
papa? Mother Fish, my dear fish! I
was bear hunting. London M. A. P.
. Josh Billings used to say that when
a man begins golug downhill all cre
ation seems greased for the occasion.
PLAY TWO
GOOD GAMES
Continued from page 3.
and by a brilliant throw home made
Mr. Kelly stick to third like a barnacle.
McAndrews btruck out, but Mann
dropped the third one, and the throw
to first enticed Kelly off third, but Mac
planted his Douglas, on the sack and
returned the ball in time to catch
Kelly at home and the boat snnk
Falcnr's two-base hit waa over the
right field fence and Beal'a alacrity
in the barbs and the horse- weeds
stopped Hickey at third.
Herold, Bardwell and Kellev
down like a. Lynnhaven and as short
work waa made of McCreary, Drum
mey and Brassman. Mr. Bardwell
sawed McCreary, the Hollys' cork
screw specialist who uses Magnolia
Balm and thinks Cut Off lake is as big
as the Pacific) for a starter. Drnmmev
out on a pop. -up to Droege and Brass-
man went the JUctreary route.
Here is where the sox scored fortho
last time. Mann struck out and
Beal hit safe over short, stole second
on Delia Fox while she was replacing
a stray hair. Droege lammed a pretty
one out to center and Beal came linmp
on the hit. Fitz struck out and Droeire
took more ground thai he could re
cover in a week, and was caught off
second which sent the Sox to the pines.
At the close of this innincr the senrp
stood 5 to 5 and the Holly captain and
Manager lirantner had agreed to call
the game here to allow the Onmlm
lasds to" catch f,he4 train for home.
It was finally decided, however, even
though the eighth was finished, to
declare a draw game from the fact
that the Hollys agreed during the
sixth to call the game at the end of
the seventh, and at that time received
their expense money, and should they
play more than seven innings it was
with the understanding that they fin
ish the nine, but in this they dealt
from the bottom, turned a Jack, and
took the chips without standing for
the lust shuffle.
It was a good game, nevertheless,
free from dirty ball playing, and
everything went off without a bobble.
All kinds of boqucts were handed
Umpire Larson for his good work,
and rightly too, for the old hend is
on the job all the time, thoroughly
understands the game and makes his
decisions promptly and decisive
C 1
rcore oy minings :
IMatts. 1 0 2 1 0 0 1
Hollys 0 1 0 2 0 2 0
05
38
Hits riatts. 10; Hollys 7.
Errors Platts. 7; Hollys 2.
Umpire Larson.
When You "3ee Stars."
The man who when struck violently
on tho bend says he "saw Murs" Is not
fur from telling the truth. The t;ict
Is thut there Is u phosphorescent pow
er in the eye which does not attract u
persou's intention uuder ordinary ci.n-
dltlous. but which Is distributed mid
reveals Itself whenever the liend gets
a sudden shock and sometime even
in the act of sneezing. A blow mi I lie
hend results in a pressure i.t the blood
Vessels upon the retina, causing eiilier
total darkness or a f.ilm blue light
Which flouts before the eyes, nml it Is
in this fnlul blue light the Imagination
discerns the thousands of fantastic
forms and figures Unit by general ac
ceptance are termed stars; hence.
while the astronomical display so fre
quently meutloued may be said to be
entirely a creature of the Imagination.
there Is nt least some foundation for
tho Idea. (The true unture of the sen
sation Is never very apparent even to
the victim, for the simple reason that
It Is invariably experienced under cir
cumstances which render a searching
introspective Investigation out of the
question.
An Odd Nugget of Gold.
There have been many large and
oddly shaped gold nuggets found lu
the United States and elsewhere, but
the oddest of them all was that dis
covered at the Midbus mine, on Sulky
gully, near Melbourne, Australia, in
1887. Tho nugget was flat and almost
the exact counterpart hi contour of a
colossal human band held open, with
the exception of the thumb and fore
finger, which were closed together in
a manner so as to moke It appear that
tbe thumb was holding the finger in
place. Its greatest length was twelve
and a half Inches and Its greatest
breadth eight inches. It was of the
very purest gold, with but a llttlo ot
foreign substances adhering, mostly
between tho "fingers." and weighed
C17 ounces. It was found In the north
west main drive of the Mldbas mine,
120 feet below the surface of the earth
and at a spot only fifty feet from
where the famous Lady Brassey nug
get was discovered the year before. It
weighed fifty-one pounds of pure gold.
Nothing More to Say.
"Sir," Bald the candldato, "you prom
ised to vote for mo!"
"Veil," said bis Dutch Mend, "and
vat If I did?"
"Well, sir, you voted against meP
"Veil, vat if I did?"
"Then, sir, you lied!"
"Veil, vat II I did?"
!(CMT
The Kind You Have Always
in use for over 30 years,
aud has been made under his per-Zy--
sonal supervision since Its infancy.
, CUCA4U Allow no one to deceive you in this.
All Counterfeits Imitations and"t7ust-as-good"dre but
Experiments thit trifle vr'.ih and endanger the health of
Infants and Children Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTORIA
Castoria is a harmless substitute for Cantor Oil, Pare
goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its age Is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Feverlshncss. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates tho
Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend,
GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS
Sears the
The Kind You Have Always Bought
In Use For Over 30 Years.
. TMt eiNT.UM OOMMMfi TT MUNMV STREET, NEW KH OITV.
The Kansas City Weekly Stai
The most comprehensive farm paper All the
news Intelligently told Farm questions an
swered by a'practlcal farmer and experimenter
Exactly what you want In market reports.
One Year 25 Cents.
Address THE WEEKLY STAR, Kansas City, Mo.
A
1
J. E. BARWICK
DOVEY BLOCK
REAL ESTATE. Town residence from $450 to $3,000. Don't
Eay rent any longer. You can own your own dwelling cheaper,
et me show you some good chance to acquire farma in Ne
braska. South and North Dakota, Missouri or Texas. FIRE
JNSURANCE written in six of the best companies.
SURETY BODS. Get your bonds from the American Surety Co.
ACCIDENT INSURANCE. The risk of personal injury is 40
times as great aa that of losing your property by fire. Secure
a policy of the London Gurantee and Accident Company and
be sure of an income whil you are onable to work.
INDEPENDENT PHONE 454.
t
t
t
t
?
?
?
?
?
Barclay's
B Ml h L?
Center of Block Between 4th and 5th Sts.
MICHAEL HILD
House Furniture and Undertaking
Carpets, Rugs, Linoleums, etc.,
South Sixth Street.
Michael Hild, John Salller,
Funeral Directors and Embalmers
Phones
Thft Mv M
3
1
A 2
LA
Bought, and which has been
has borne the signature of
Signature of
t
?
t
T
i
X
?
Restaurant
THE PLACE
TO EAT
ything neat and
clean and a good place to
go for your SUNDAY
DINNER. Board by
the week. Lunch counter
in connection.
Open All Night f
Plattsmouth, Nebraska.
137 and 247.
fonts n' Waft
tni!
1J Ml I
a m a m