r
RECORDS MADE BY GUNNERS
Men of the Coast Artillery Prove
They Know How to Use Their
Weapom.
A remarkable record was made by
Company 115 of tbe Coast Artillery
Corps nt Fort Uosecrans, Cal., recent
ly. Four shots were fired from a bat
tery of two ten Inch guns at a target
30 feet high by 60 feet long, which
was moving at the rate of eight mlleg
an hour, at a distance of about five
mllea away. All four shots were fired
In a period of 1 minute and 20 sec
onds, and passed through a rectangle
9 feet high by 42 feet wide, three of
them striking the target and the
fourth passing four yards to the left
of It The remarkable accuracy of
this firing can be appreciated when
It la resided that a circle with a
radios of eleren yards at the target
would Include all the shots.
On the same date Company 62 of
the Coast Artillery Corps at Fort Rod
man, Mass., fired four shots from an
eight Inch battery at a 30 by 60-foot
material target which was moving at
the rate of five miles an hour at a dis
tance of about four miles from the
battery firing. All four shots were
hits, and the first shot cut the raft of
the material target In two. A circle
with a radius of fifteen yards at the
target would Include all the shots. The
Interval between the shots was 36
aeconds. Harper's Weekly.
li men m noun h mir
i Cleanliness Next to Godliness.
"While collecting rents In a poor
quarter of the city I discovered a
novel use for an old churchyard," said
the renting agent. "Several of my
three-room flats In a building overlook
ing the yard are occupied by laun
dresses. Last week I happened to get
Into the kitchen of one flat and I saw
that every laundress had a pulley
clothesline stretched across the yard
from her kitchen window to a corner
of the church. Fortunately the yard
was In the rear of the church and no
one except the neighbors had a chance
to be shocked at the contiguity of
laundry and religion. The laundress
whom I questioned snld there had
been some pretty hot debates In the
church over the propriety of conv
blnlng cleanliness and godliness in
that practical fashion, but the pastor
had contended so stoutly that the 25
square feet of space could be put to
no better use 'than to enable hard
working women who hnd no place else
0ld6i'ellbaek Had Not Well Weighed
Hi Words Before Recounting
Marvelous Tale.
Rear Admiral Rogers of the navy
tells the following story of a conver
sation he heard between two old
sailors:
It was a rat ship I was sallln' In
that trip," said one of the shellbacks.
'One of the dlngdest rat ships I ever
knew. They was rats In It from bow
to stern, rats In the hold. In the gal
ley, in.the steerage, In the fo castle, In
the old man's room everywhere.
Rats. Not h In' but
"Dlmeby It got so bad we had to
put In an' get them off. So we hooked
up to a dock and fumigated. I waa
on deck an I saw them rata leavin.
I counted 'em. They was fifteen
million of 'em."
"Fifteen million?" asked the other.
"Ain't that a lot o' rats! Are you
Buret"
"Sure? Yes, I'm sure. They was
fifteen million rata, and I counted 'em.
More than that, every rat weighed
half a pound. They was big, fat,
sassy ones, I'm tellin'."
"Fifteen million rats, and every one
weighed half a pound, and they all
came off your shin. That's seven
million and a half pounds of rata.
Say, Jim, what was the tonnage of
that ship?"
"Oh, about 150 tons." Judge.
FOOD PRICES OF LONG AGO
Parisians on Record as Paying Large
Sums for Ordinary Articles of
8ustenance.
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The Drouth is broken and this is going to be the
wettest town you ever saw for a while, with no eight
o'clock closing limit on the weather. Your only pro
tection will be to attend our annual umbrella sale,
commencing Wednesday, May 4th, and continuing the
balance of week. Look in our east window and see
the best lot of $1.25 and $1.50 umbrellas you ever
saw. Now Wednesday come in and take your choice
for 98c, all new and up-to-date.
While the French newspapers echo
with complaints about the high food
prices, a statistician has figured out
that things were not so very cheap ln-
"the good old times" either. Milk
prices are pretty stationary now
throughout the year. Two hundred
years ago the Parisians had to pay
three times more for milk in winter
than In summer and the average price
of a quart of milk was about eight
cents.
Toward the end of the eighteenth
century Paris paid 11 cents per quart
for milk. In the French country dls-
trlrtst tho.nrfn wna ntv ronta HnA
hundred and thlrty-flve years ago !titiitt
onlv the rich could nffnrd tn put hut.
ter In winter, the average price being t
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one dollar a nound. V.srsn were chnnn-
numiug "uiiiru wiiu uuu uu place eie , . a r TUIkllO -rill- rrr , . . .
to dry clothes out doors to earn a liv- er than they are now. but likewise THINKS THE DOG UNDERSTOOD
lng that the trustees had finally given
In."
Gogson's Invention.
Friend Gogson, how Is your aero
plane getting along?
Inventor It is complete, with the
exception of one little detail I have
not yet perfected. I shall take up that
next.
"What is it?"
"A mere trifle that I can think out
at any time. The principal feature of
my Invention Is a safety net that will
much smaller. In the year 1S00 the
price of turkey in Paris was between
eight and ten dollars a head, accord
ing to size, nice was 15 cents a
pound. Most of the food is cheaper
now In the big cities than In the good
old times. In the middle ages only
princes dared to aspire to eat oranges.
which were one dollar apiece during
the height of the season.
Women's Clothing.
Dr. Halg Ferguson In a lecture at
the Edinburgh Royal infirmary the
travel along under my aeroplane to other day had some severe things to
prevent fatal accidents. It will make
navigating the air absolutely free from
danger. By the Introduction of that
net I have revolutionized the entire
business.'
"But how is the net Itself to be kept
from falling to the ground when any
thing happens to your aeroplane?"
"That Is the little detail I haven't
worked out yet." Life.
New Idea for Raising Money.
In France the government Is about
to venture upon an experiment foi
raising money by letting or selling the blouses," the modern
rights of advertising on match boxes
the sale or matches being a stat6
monoooly. A proposal to this effect
lias been passed by the chamber ol
deputies. The proposer estimated that
the advertising rights ought to bnna
Jn between XSOO.OOO and $250,000.
?
Clerk Enters a Complaint.
' '"The warmer the day and the buslei
we are the more trying customer!
aeem to be," said the tired clerk
,"Toiay a well dressed woman bustled
up to the counter of which I have
charge and asked to see men's shirts
J spent the next twenty minutes Bhow
- .
ing ner every siyie ana color w
-carry. She seemed so Interested that
1 took particular pains to please her
After inspecting the entire stock sh
rose and thanked me sweetly, adding:
I dldnt wish to purchase any. You
see I am making my husband some
. summer shirts and I wanted to b
surf J was doing them right Mj
liusband is very particular about the
finish of his shirts.'
"Though I felt chagrined I really
had to laugh as I returned the ooun
terful of shirts to the shelves."
say about the clothing of the adult
woman. It was hampered by fashion
and superstition and nothing could be
a greater tribute to the strong nerves
and powerful muscles of women than
i3e fact that their health had survived
for centuries their habits of clothing.
A woman's clothing was the despair
of the hyglenist. Children and girls
were more sensibly clad, but when
girls grew up they were often clothed
in a way which made them unable to
walk, run or breathe. Weighty skirts.
low-necked gowns, "pneumonia
hat, the high-
neelea shoe with Its pointed toe,
were all condemned. Dut then women
will have It so and so it will remain.
Westminster Gazette.
Mike Gave the Sign of Surrender, Ac-
ctrding to the Book, and Be
lieves It Worked.
Mike, although very ignorant, went
out' among the farmers to sell a book
called "Languages of the Lower Ani
mals." In the chapter on dogs was
this statement: "For a dog to turn
on his back is understood among dogs
as a gesture of surrender. If two
strange dogs meet on the street, and
one shows fight, If the other turns on
his back he will not, as a rule, be molested."
Mike depended upon this idea to
sell the book, says the Montreal Her
ald. When near Farmer Haines" gate,
Mike suddenly stopped, dropping his
books, and turned pale. A big dog,
with shaggy head and glaring eyes,
stood showing his teeth. Flight was
useless. A low, savage growl came
from the dog, and Mike, falling to the
ground and turning on his back, said
gently: "Yez knows the sign o' sur
render, sot!"
The dog was called away by Farmer
Haines, but Mike still thinks he was
saved by the idea of his book.
fXONEON MOTHER.
Hp
. ....... . - i V
The Rooster's "Song."
Some animals and especially some
birds we flatter grossly. Others we
Insult. Rut, of the adulated, which la
ao absurdly praised by his very name
as Chanticleer? M. Rostand's hero Is
really the hoarsest of singers. And
not only Is he ridiculously husky, but
he never hits the note, he Is sourly
out of tune, and drags downward
through a sorry scale, without one
tone right, through the close of his
outcry. And yet we must needs take
him as the very champlou of pure
singing. Tennyson went so far as to
compare the voice of Jeptha's heroic
daughter, in the forest of his dream.
to the cock's. She sings "clearer than
the crested bird that claps his wings
at dawn." It Is certain that Tennyson
had no ear for music (as had few of
the great poets, from Pope to Roa-
setti), but he might have known a rau
cous volcefroni a clear one.
Complimentary Reply.
Of Miss Margaretta Drexel, the
beautiful Philadelphia heiress, who Is
to marry Viscount Maidstone, a Phila-
delphlan said:
"Miss Drexel at a dinner In London
once sat beside a famous sociologist.
She said to this sociologist:
" 'There Is very much more poverty
and wretchedness In London than in
Philadelphia or New York. Look at
the tragic figures huddled on the em
bankment every night. What Is the
cause of this great misery?'
"I will reply,' said the sociologist.
'with a line from tbe poet Words
worth
"'Drink, pretty creature, drink."
Clerk Knew His Business.
Up to the night clerk's desk goes
Abe Perlmutter, a Chicago traveling
man, says Success Magazine. "I won
der," he says, "could you find me
somebody to play a game of pinochle
for an hour or two tonight?" "Why,
says the clerk, "I guess so," and he
runs bis eye over the register. "Roy,"
he calls, "page Mr; Gutwillig." Before
long Mr. Gutwillig is found and intro
duced to the pInochTe-hungry Perlmut
ter, and a game a arranged. "How
did you know I played pinochle V Mr.
Gutwillig asks the clerk. "Oh, I "
begins the clerk. Just then emerges
from the bar a young- man, triple pile"
with wine. He staggers up to the
desk and says: "Shay, I wanna fight!
D'ye hear? I'm--lookin' fr a scrapl"
Thus the clerk: "Dor, page Mr. Kelly
and Mr. O'Hrlen."
TEST OF A GOOD FRid
Must Be Content to Take Second
Place When Occasion Requires,
and Remain Loyal.
We miiEt be comfortable frlonds,
not teasing, not burdensome.
If It be hard for a married women
to be a good friend, it Is still harder
to bo the good fripnd of a married
Aumcn. Yet. howevrr devoted her
huHbrnd may be, she needs one. No
nne but a woman enn understand a
'oiPHn's troubles small and great;
' pre xficild be cn her g-inrd even
vlth It most intlnnte friend thnt
'riend often so cordinlly disliked, yet
pi'.c ntly endured by 'he husband,
vim frrls himself outside all conll
l"i"c Immediately . rhe aprears.
f'fv often have te seeds of 111 con
ct't. unfounded suspicions, deceptions
tv rrlvrnnrcr.tJons bren sown by the
r.'irvn'e friend?
How easily cotild fhe first rtiflled
ije:lrm have been srrcotl'el, and the
"!:! impute sritled. hnd she not been
rwnt with her well-meant Intorfer-
T!:e right friend la anxio-is never to
v" In a false position. She Is con
fo trke the inw- rlnoe. and
.w M bo distressed wpre it otherwise
:Tie cn be lovln? without gushlrg:
r'-lrfut, but not oHicioas; ready, but
never in the way.
nh' can praise encoirrnglng'y, and
yet not flatter; counsel, yet not "ad
v'tt?;" hear everything, and be dis
creetly silent.
PIio hears absence without eom
I'f'Int, and apparent forgetfulness
without suspicion. She never looks
for explanations, and she Is loyal with
out saying anything at all about It.
Hut such a woman has to be lived up
to, for she expects the same high
mlndedness In you also. From "Mar
rying and the Married."
Barclay's Restaurant
THE PLACE
TO EAT
Everything neat and
clean and a good place to
go for your SUNDAY
DIXNER. Board by
the vcik. Lunch counter
in connection.
Open All Night
Center ol Block Between 4th and 5th Sts.
, "la jpur wife's bread like youi
mother used to make?"
."No; ber'g 1 good bread."
Not That Kind.
Mrs. Youngparent Now before you
go I must show you the pride of the
household. Mary, bring In our
bouncer.
Mr. Hlghroller (diving through win
dow) Spare yourself the trouble,
madam: I'll go Quietly.
Value of the Apple.
Few realize the efficiency of anDlea
In throat disorders and indigestion.
Apples contain more phosphoric acid
than any other fruit, and everybody
ought to know that the beat thing to
ao w promote the action of the liver
and thereby secure sound sleep Is to
eat an apple before going to bed.
Appie puQQings oi an kinds, apple
sauce or salad of apple and celery for
mncn, oaaea who cream for break.
fast, any and all ways, the apple la
the old atand-by which, for health'!
sake, one cannot afford to do without,
Of Course.
Inquisitive Lady And what is this
Uttle box for?
Nerve-Racked Clerk Oh, for odds
ana euas!
inquisitive uwy-But it has two
compartments. Why Is that?
Nerve-Racked Clerk One for odds,
nmuiuu, ana mi ouier ror ends.
Respect.
"Hiram," said Mrs. Corntossel, "It
takes you twice as long to drive tbe
pigs os it used to."
"I know it. You wouldn't expect me
to speak harsh words to a lot o' crlt
tars that's worth $11 apiece, would
WANTED SOMEONE TO PROTEST
THE TAILO&'S SOG
Fit out at Frank'sget a suit up to date,
Right in the fashion of woolens first rate.
A suit that will fit goods sound as a bell,
No outside shops will fit you as well,
Keep track of Mac's ood value he sells.
Mac builds good clothes garments all neat,
Chicago's ready made agents cannot compete.
Examine his line and prices uil through,
Look him up for a suit, saves money for you.
Reliable goods, all through his line,
Order a suit for the on coming spring time,
You find value for money here every time.
Indifference of Tenants Meant That
Patrick Had to Buckle Down
to Hard Work.
Fatrlck was the laziest man that
ever tried to hld a job as driver of
a coal wagon. Three mornings in suc
cession a sadly disgusted Fatrlck was
routed out by an energetic yard mas
ter to deliver coal at a little past
o'clock in quiet neighborhoods
where the outraged citizens threat
ened to shoot Patrick, hang Patrick
or, at the very mildest, arrest Pat
rick If he dared to move another lump
of coal before 8 o'clock.
"Vurry well, sur-r-r," said Patrick
amiably each time and curled up tn
the early sunshine for half an hour's
snooze.
On the fourth morning his route
lay In a different direction. At the
same unearthly hour the first bushel
of coal rattled down the Iron runway.
Patrick shut off the outflow and
looked up at the windows. Not a
head appeared, not a voice bade him
desist.. Patrick sighed In disappoint
ment. Another volley of coal was re
leased. Still no protest. Then Pat
rick wearily crossed the street and
routed out tbe Janitor of a big apart
ment house.
"Say," he said, "ain't nobody in any
of these houses got spunk enough to
kick because I'm unloading coal be-
fr. o'clock ?' .
A Bro8Ll Choice
of Vacation Tours
To the Pacific Coast: From June 1st only SCO.OO ronn.l frm ,iir
am!, on special dates in May, June and July, only $50.00: Slfl.nn ,.fu;i;,...i'
n !.... 1- " ' -MUIHIHIIII
via Minsta iioute.
To the East: Ask nearest nRcnt about the various specal rates tobc in ef
feet, commencing May, to prinrirml eastern cities.
Yellowstone Park: All kinds of tourist rates to this wonderland, including
diverse routes through scenic Colorado, Vcllowstone ansd Gnrd ner
entrances; also to Cody (eastern entrance;, in connection with Holm's
personal y conduced camping tours throgh the l'ark, July 2') JIJ
19 and September 9. Apply early. . ' BUhb
Mountain Tours: To Denver, Estes Park, Salt Lake, Hot Springs, S D
Sheridan and Ilanchestcr, Wye, (for the Big Horn region), and Tl rn, Z
is , Wye,., the coming wonderful samtarium-eighleen million hgnllons f
hot water daily at 1U0 . k'"h oi
Call or Write describing your proposed trip and let us advise you fully.
W. L. PICKETT, Ticket Agent, Plattsmouth, Neb.
L. W. Wakely, G. P. A Omaha.
V
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