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About The news-herald. (Plattsmouth, Neb.) 1909-1911 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 16, 1909)
Christmas Candy Bargains!
Ciiu anyuuo itna in f any tangible reason for buy
iut, inferior candies, who'i pure wholesome candies are
manufactured here a'uiosi at your vry locust op?
Would you buy the Inner grade if you could get it at
u lowir price. Ye, of course you would. Then we
wiU make u bargain with you. He sure you don't forget.
Here it is.
Uur wu make, pure, wholesome mixed eaudies,
seeral taritties at lt)e per lb. Omaha prices 12 l-'-'c
yer lb. Other merchants prices 13c per lb. for similar
varieties of questionable quality. Now this is a per
soaal agreement between us. Be sure to come in aud
live up to your side of it. Then here are some more
equally good bargains iu high grade goods.
Mixed Nuts aud nuts of all varieties only, per lb. ,20c.
Our own Taflies aud Peanut Candies only, per lb.. .15c
Our owi Cream Wafers aud Chocolate Creams, lb. .2")C
Our owi ' Fairy" Chocolates aud lion Dons, per lb. ,40c
Many other varieties of high grade candies
10c lb. up to 75c lb.
.Xuias tree Ornaments, immense line. each. . .le to 10c
1W Card Albums 50 percent cheaper than last
year 15c to $200
Pt Card Boxes new aud novel (iOe to 2.50
Xmas Hooklets, bet line ever, each 3c to 20c
10,000 Christmas Post cards, each lc to 50c
Ninas Stationery, better and cheaper than elsc-
wheri 10c to 75c
Christinas Tug, Cards, Stickers, Labels and numerous
articles iu demand at this scr.son.
EftfiETZ & CO.
Candymakers. - Next to Postoffice.
Our Coal is the best cool weather comfort
that you will be able to find in town. These
chilly fall winds will soon turn into winter
and you will need the comfort that our coal
will give you. Better order early to avoid
disappointments when an extra
chilly day comes.
a, -w - - - r- C M
The Acaiemy of Siicncc.
It is written that among the vari
oii hools of tirccian yhilot-ophy
existed one known as "the Academy;
of Sili'iire," composed of a huudrcd
men, each member pledged to the
purpose uf the school. To themj
calm one seeking admission. Their j
list of membership was closed, aud!
their head, calling the would be neo- j
phyte before the assembled uudi-;
eiice, showed hitu without a word!
an urn so tilled with water that uot
a single drop could be added. The:
ueophyte, reading the message, bow
ed sileutly, started to withdraw, but
hekitated and returned. Picking a
petal from a flower, he dropped it
ou the briuiuiiug bowl so dexter
ously that it floated without dis
lodging the slijjhtet particle of the
liquid. The membership of the
Academy of Silence became 101.
Digestive disorders are most com
monly, says a medical scientist
writing in the Family Doctor, the
causes of vertigo, and the person
attacked generally complains of
di-tress after a hearty meal.
Klderly people suffer more than
do those of any other age. aud per
sons fatigued I iy overwork, intellec
tual or physical, are quite subject to
the disorder. When the giddiness
is associated with congestion of the
lirain the face is Hushed and the
arteries of the temples are distend
ed, (iiddiness of this latter kind
has always a dangerous significance,
aud no time should be lost in con
sulting a medical man.
A SIWSE OF HUMOR.
Just tho Point.
Freddy does not ofieu have an
idea, but when he does he sticks to
it tenaciously. For instance, he
came out with this conundrum the
other day with u glow of self con
"Why is an eagle like a mau?"
Kvcrybodv gave it up, when Fred
dy exclaimed with a chuckle:
''Because it is baldheaded."
'"But." said somebody, "all eagles
are not baldheaded."
'"That's just it," responded Fred
dy. "Neither aro all men baldhead
He The love 1 have declared for
you, my dear, is a perfect love.
She And will you swear that you
have never loved another?
lie-Ah. darling, you forget iliat I
Just told you that practice makes per-
Tired at Three O'clock?" "No Sir! I Use the Monarch
IF typewriters were machines run by mechanical means in
stead of human hands, you vould find that, with a ghen amount
of power, a Monarch could be run at a higher maintained speed
than other typewriters.
Run by "girl power," you find that the Monarch is run at
a higher all-day average speed than other typewriters, and
without a "tapering off," from fatigue toward the day's end.
Both these truths are due to the fact that
(T LJ LIGHT
lightens the draft, uses Dower more economically. Eliminates
the waste of energy that typifies the heavy-touch machines.
This in turn means increased production per machine and de
creased cost of typewriter work per folio.
While Monarch Light Touchand the
Monarch Rigid Carriage are exclusive
Monarch features, every other import
ant feature of the modern typewriting
machine, such as Back Space Key, Two
Color Ribbon Shift, Contained Tabula
tor, etc., etc., will also be found on the
Monarch. Let us give you a demon
stration of Monarch Light Touch and
other Monarch advancements.
Write Fcr lUtutralcd
The Monarch Typewriter Co.
411 South 15th Street. Omaha. Nebraska.
Monarch Typewriter Building, 300 Broadway, New York.
A certaiu IrUhuiai, ttitiMKh a bad
jwokey, was uerertieiess my foad of
hre. Oue day. HUiiit tkroach i
Ktreet. Ue was ccKte Wy a woiltl W
"I y, da yea kaw wbst huacHl
"Kuuie us Usspt-spid le m
spvLr t LiiM.
itsi tar ' saari
The Sharp Profetior.
"Now," said the medical college pro
fctxtr to the class, "wa will urvceed
to i In disMeetliig rooai, wliera lie body
lie.-., just aueid."
"1 lii-s yuiir pardon, sir," remarked
the freli studeut, "but bow can It be
a body if it's Just a licud?"
"it can't be." replied tbc prtffsswr,
Ucawiu benignly uur bis jflusxes.
"That's tbf reau 1 sa!d It lies."
When Turtles Were Big.
Of the turtles It may be said that
tbny represent tbe aiast ancient tpe
of all rertebratea, raseaiaiiaj closely
aa they da te reatatea af thev klud
which a4sted aa far bark aa the aueso
zoic era. There m aea tortoises
dariaf that eaach which aaeasuted
tweaby feet la aareaa of Diapeca, while
leste tertiary tartaiaes wore aat lss
big hi body, faeariat twelre feet
area heao! to taN.
Oh, Yei, Cvery Man la Absolutely Cer
tain He Owni It.
A seiiM of ln:uiir i-; somctliitig
which cit m;:ii pooM'i iu a su
peiiutue drjri'r. U aduiit
tlicy Lave no iriereuce, theT will j
ill treut tln-jr wivc. mikio thoir
neighbor will own up, iiiJeed, to
cvcr crime ou the calendar, but not
to biu devoid uf a seue of humor.
And, moreover, the seuse of ha
luor Ueloujiuj to eerv man is iu
Yariablv ' keeH." The must sUilid,
phlegmatic persou, who ueter jets
near euouli to the poiul wf a jwka
to throw his hat Hpou it, will UU
vou with tears iu his eves that be
uever would hare heeu able to hava
lived through if it haJu't beeu for
his seue of humor.
The worst offender, liowem, is
the oue who makes a Imsiuets of
exploiting this uuivcrtallv assumed
trait. He takes vou aside iu a kiud
of joyous conuMeuce.
"I couldn't hegin to tell you," be
declares, "all the funny thinjrK 1
sec. 1 don't know why it is" thi
with an air us if it were a heaven
sent ;ift which he moile.-tly is iu
no sc responsible for "but any
thing tiinnv real fuuny appeals
to me. II I could only remember to
set them down! Hut somehow I
ii'.vcr tliiiik of it at the time.'
He then proceeds to tell you, of
an incident that happened bo him
self pci'Minallv. Vou have heard
the story perhaps teu years back to
far back, indeed, that you have al
most forgotten it. Hut you wouldu't
let your friend know that for the
When lis has finished you huifili
heartily, lion practice has trained
you to lauh upon these occasions
as if you really meant it, and you
tell him that it is certainly one of
the best thin", you have ever heard.
Ileueeforth you avoid him. A burn
ed victim dreads the man with a
sense of humor.
Why i it that a man, modest iu
other respects, who, if he saved au
other's life would conceal it, boldly
and uuhlushinly talks about his
woiuterlul sense ol liumor wnnoui
tho slijjhle.st compunction?'
Next to him comes the young
flirl of the family. Let us call her
You've seen Mabel, of course?
"Do you know," her mother de
clares, "that child sees the funny
side of everything! You just tmjrlit
to hear her! No matter where she
goes it is always the same! Why,
last niiilit we sat up listening to her
while she entertained us witli what
she saw ou the trolley car just
think of it and well, I thought I
should certainly split with laughter.
Mimic! Perfect! And vou ouirlit
to see the poetry lie wrote! She'd
be awful mad if she knew I was
showing it. I wanted her to end it
to (he papers, but I couldn't per
suade her. l.-n't it perfectly splen
did? I suppose she ought not to
be encouraged loo much. I have a
friend who's a writer, and he ad
visYd me to keep her down. Hut it
does seem as if talent like that
ought to be put to use. Uh, you
just wait till you hear her! Such a
sense of liumor!
You don't wait. You love dear
Mabel at a distance. You sneak
away in the gloaming. You have
been there before. Henceforth when
Mabel heaves in sight you put your
helm hard a port and wear ship.
It has often been shyly intimated
by bachelors that women have
no seine of humor.
Yet think of the monumental
joke every woman plays on a man
when she marries him! Success
Throwing Stones at a Tiger.
Stone throwing is not without its
uses in hunting the licrVe.-t of game.
At the first sound the tiger walked
out and ui the omnsiti bunk and
fell to a general discharge. As he
lay motionless one of the guns sug-ge.-ted
our walking across to meas
ure him, but 1 demurred to measur
ing a tiger before 1 was sure he was
dead and insisted on someone throw
ing stones at him lir.t. A kiri.'c
stone hit the tiger, who got up afM
lurched rather than charged in our
direction, witli the avage cuugbiug
grunt you cannot exactly describe
it as a roar which a tiger makes
when charging. There was another
general fusillade a he dipped into
llie ravine, then it moment of strain
ed siispeust! a to whether he would
be up our bunk and into the middle
of us. He had had enough, how
ever. Colonel A. Oiirant in Corn
hill. Didn't Likj Hu Looks.
A wo ltd be ;"i . ;! oil Mr.
T'ii'M one day t in ni'icc in the
'. I lime 1'ostoii publishing Imaiie
ni' Tickictr i Fields. Kvidentljr the
yonnij man did not lrke Mr. Field's
apiier;tHce. fur this wes the eivnver
satioa t hut t"k pluee; "Is this Mr.
Field?'' "Ii is. xir." "Mr. James
T. I'ieU.?" " ata k-e." "WeW.
I th. 14 like to Mr. Ti.Wr!"
Buyrsomething useful. Finest line of Cutkry
and NickeK,Platcd Ware ever shown
in this town.t Call and see us.
Also Headquarters for
Aluminum Ware, etc.
BESIJJ K TSELF
Any man must be beildt himself who tries to flet on In
the world without knowing what the world la doing.
This newspaper is published for people who want to
know. HOW ABOUT YOU? ARE YOU
Boots of the Arctic Regions nd How
They Are Made. !
The Kr-kimos, us n rule, use noth- 1
in:; hut the senl.-kin, deer-kin, inii.sk j
oxen, iiretie hnre and hird skins for
both their feet ami their clothing, j
In the first tiliue Ihev t-W the hnre,
dean and dry it and ehew it all over,
u ml when it is thoroughly dry they
cut it up and make socks to wear
inside of their seal or deer i ri
boots (in their language called ka
maks). The M'ulskin is taken, tho
fat cleaned off, a wooden frame j
made about a foot on tl it; round I
larger than the .kin, ami the skin i
then laced tightly around a frame.
and kept in tliefiin until thorough-1
Then the Kpunvs or women clean j
and ct aliout cutting it up into
boot, which are generally made
nbout two or three sizes too lare.
The bottom, or sole, i cut to the
shape of the foot in one piece, the
upper-; are joined and sewed to the
ed'e of the bottom, and the fore
part is sewed to the le.ir nearly
straight across ilu- in-tep. The le
is cut out according to the length 1
wanted, with a receiving string in
the top to tie over, thus keeping the
The arctic Kskitno do not use
bark or tun of any kind for their
skins. It cannot be procured, and :
they do ii'rt know how to ue it. ,
Should their boots dry up their la
die, or sipiawi, take them and chew ,
them all over, uud in ten minutes
they are us oft us u jjloTe. l-'srther
.south and in .ouj parts of Labra
dor the skins ntr burked ami t lior-
ohIiIt dried m when luadi up last (
much loicjer. It makes a ;ooi deal ;
of dill'eieiice what preies of seals I
are used. The hot by far are Ihej
sipiiiret Hipper aud llie old hurp seal, j
Could they rt leather and soles for j
Iheir boot, as we do iu this country j
it would be an improvemeut for!
summer r:ir, hut would not uuswer j
for winter. j
A ood pair uf kia hols wiH last ,
an Kskimo for nearly ix mouths,
witli coitaiit wear on the ice. i
Captain Hoses Ibirtlett in Superin-1
teiulerit and 1'oiemnu. j
Sti(-Tio roil nenr they were pla
to tsx bachelors?
lie-Yen, bat they'll ipvrr 5ft it oat
Kk It is itke of roa to put it tliat
way. but I want speak to ssetkfr irst.
Willie hail' hail u tumble when tin
was a baby. an. I his was so hurt
that ever after he was uhllKeil to us
u crutch, (hi one 1 in asinii. wiion IiIa
uuiilier hail bwiiht It i in a ncv crutch
of the latest ami iimst approved style,
Willie exresse; his enthusiasm ami
delight In the rcuniV'"! terms. "Anil,
eh. liiotlier." lie cx liiueil ill coiiclll
fciun, referring to a little ilieiiil of tils
whii. Iniviii the use uf !,ot:i Icrm. hint
no need of crutches, "won't Johnny
Kiiuwlos be jealous:" New York
Daly's Impecunious Employee.
AtiiiUMiu Italy hail in his employ
ment a man who always addressed
lilm a imte periodically asking for 1111
advance of money. This mile was in
variably ans.veied by a most abusive
letter in almost iusiiliinu terms and
threatcnim; lnt.iht ilisctuirxe If I lit
nffelisf v. .is ever lepealed 11 I'd illi'lns
in' a cliei k lor 1 lie money !
At reunliir Iniervals of aliout three
mmitlis ilu- man in aiiably made (lie
tame reiptest. with llie same results,
always, however, eltin a chock in
closed. And thus it continued until
Mr. Daly's deal Ik
A thermometer the bulb of which
contains mercury w ill not register un
der 'JS decrees I". below y.ero--that is
to say, mercury will freeze at that
point, (if course iu this country liitli!
practical use is found for thermome
ters shoii-liij; more than 'JS decrees be
low zero, but In the arctic and antiire
tic they ure essential. Such Instru
ments, however, contain splris iu the
bulbs Instead of mercury . but erem
this- Hu M I nines slusrsisli when
nr ."i0 devices below zero is I'eeordwU.
and it will seldom show 00 decrees
Rivaled Franklin. -S
School Kxaminer-Siiine of our great
rst discoveries, my yiuiiijf friend, have
been made by simple means. You Iiut
all hearJ (lie story of how r.enjamiu
Kraukiiu went vut in th storiu ami
caunht tlie liglitiiiiu;.
f'rodiy-Ycs, and I heard you tell
pa this morning that you caught thun
der when you came home from the
loilc last nu'lu.
Earth's Axial Motion.
The rotation or the eurth at the
qua tor Is at t ho rate of l.aoo mites per
hour:' one situated mi th parallel of
sixty, the IciiiMh of which li ntual to
half tliv tircumfeieiues of the efiuator,
moves at the rate of nearly 5X) milos
aa kear, while a point st miles
froia tee pile moves hi the enurse of
twoatjr-four hours tliroHga a ctrcle of
lytajly fwo miles, or at tho rate ot IAsh
Nille an hour,
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