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About The news-herald. (Plattsmouth, Neb.) 1909-1911 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 15, 1909)
THE BASIS OF SUCCESS
dince the Ingredients Entering Peruna
Are Known, Itj Few tr ts a Catarrh
.Remedy and Tonio b
COLUMBUS, OHIO.-Tho ac
tive ingredients entering the most
popular household remedy In tho
i world have been made known to
j the public. This means a new era
In the advertising of popular fam
t Hy medicines Pcruna leads.
I Peruna contains among other
things, golden seal, powerful In its
effect upon the mucous mem
branes. Cedron seed, a rare
medicine and unsurpassed tonic.
Cubebs, valuable In nasal catarrh
and afflictions of the kidneys and
bladder. Stone root, valuable for
the nerves, mucous membranes
as well as In dropsy and Indi
gestion. JUST SO.
"Your majesty, there's a creditor
"Let him go without"
"Things are looking brighter now,"
says a Dillville citizen. "The sheriff
Is now my brother-in-law, and he won't
levy on my crop; the town doctor
boards with me, and doesn't charge a
cent for tellin me that if I don't quit
eatln' six meals a day I'll not live to
be a hundred, and last of all, the head
undertaker is my best friend, and has
promised to fix me finally.
"I feel that I don't half deserve
so many blessings, but I've got 'em
and I'm going to hold on to them."
She Could Not.
"With one wave of my wand," says
the fairy, "I can make you grow young
"Excuse me," replied the woman,
"If I decline your kind offer. If you
can bring youth to me at my present
age, all right ; but I positively refuse
to travel back-through pyrography,
the first stages of bridge, the habit
back, the straight front, balloon
sleeves, and all the rest of the fads
I can remember."
A Motor H!rt.
Miss Lillian Russell, who looks
younger than her daughter, was talk
ing about age at a dinner In New
York. Miss Russell, who Is always
witty, ended with this mot:
"It Is a sure sign of age In a wom
an when she begins to get out of nr
motor car backwards."
Many Children Are Sickly.
Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Chll
dren, used by Mother Gray, a nurse In
Children's Home, New York, cure Sum
mer Complaint, Feverlshness, Headache,
Btomaoh Troubles, Teething Disorders and
Destroy Worms. At all Druggists', 25c,
Sample trmllod FRKE. Address Allen S.
OlmsteJ, Le Koy, N. Y.
A Name That Names.
"Why does Penryn call his coming
novel 'A Scrap Book?' "
"Because It Is a story of a married
PERKY DAVIS l'AINK II.T.FR ,
bas no atiliKtliuU). No othor remedy Is m effective
for rhoumfttiKm, lmuluiK". rllilneMi, neuralnia or
cold of any lore I'M up In Hio, Sue and Wc bottler,
Some people's cast-off happiness,
like their cast-off clothes, would make
some other people very happy.
It's the judRment of many smokers thnt
Lewis' Single Hiniier 5c cigar equals in
quality most 10c cigars .
If a man Is a liar it la useless tc
tell him so. He knew It all the time.
Tr. Pure' Pleasant Pellets regulate and Invtf.
rate (tiincb, liver and bowels. Hiiftur-euateu,
toy, granules, easy to take. IM not gripe.
Procrastination Is the thief of many
a good time.
Positively cured by
these little Pills.
They tin relieve Dle
tresa from Dy epepela, lor
digestion endTog Hearty
Sating. A perfeot rerar
dy lor Dlaalneea, Ken.
a. Drowsiness, Bed
Taata In the Mouth, Coat
ed Tongue. Palo In the
Side, TOKPID LIVER,
They regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable.
SHALL Pill. SMALL DOSE, SMALL PRICE.
Genuine Must Bear
VVWtVVVf AiUVwWeVeVV'Vifyrl mmmmm .Astas
JOHN GETS BACK.
She stood there and glared at him.
"And you mean to stand there and
isk me to press your trousers?" she
lemanded with all the sternness she
"Why, certainly, my dear," respond
ed Mr. Stubb, affably; "Is that asking
"Well, I should say It Is, John
Henry Stubb. I'd have you know that
when you married me you did not
marry a sadiron."
That evening his turn came.
"John, dear," chirped Mrs. Stubb
lust after supper. "I wish you would
do me a favor before you go. But
ton my waist up in the back, that's a
But Mr. Stubb merely puffed his
cigar and chuckled softly.
"Nay! Nay! Maria, I would have
you know when you accepted me
you did not say Yes to a button
And picking up his cane, be strode
"How did the Morning Bluster man
age to get a picture of Dr. Cook In tho
act of planting the United States flag
at the north pole?" asked a curious
"How!" exclaimed the managing ed
itor, vexed at the stupidity of such a
question. "One of the two Expimax
with Dr. Cook was a Bluster reporter
In disguise. Ho took a snapshot."
"Excuse me, sir," said the art mu
seum attendant, "but no dogs are ad
"Well, I haven't and dog," rejoined
the man who had just entered.
"But this dog followed you in," pro
tested the attendant.
"So did you," rejoined the other,
"but that is no proof of ownership."
CUPID'S GREEN-GOODS GAME.
Virginia Madge spent this season
In Europe. I wonder if she succeeded
in landing a title?
Florence Yes, indeed! Hadn't you
heard? They were actually on the
way to church before she found out
that it was a counterfeit.
Growth of Arbitration.
Who snys ihn world is growing- worse?
Who says that peace Is not in sight,
When e'en the pugilists converse
Instead of putting up a light?
The Real Thing.
Stubb There goes Henpeck in his
machine. Where is he going in such
Penn Joy riding.
Stubb Joy riding?
Penn Yes, he is going to take his
wife to the station and she is going
to be gone two weeks.
He (turning it over critically) My
dear, this bread Is not like the kind
mother used to make.
She (savagely) Indeed! How does
He (with suspicious haste) You
can eat this kind.
"Did your wife leave her will, Mr.
' "No, thank heaven," answered the
bereaved spouse, with a sigh of re
lief, "she took it with her."
Gunner Robber used a gag on a
man in New York and it's doubtful if
the victim will recover.
Guyer H'm! Must have been one
at those New York roof-garden gags.
"My dear, what do you think of giv
ing up the house and taking four or
five rooms in a hotel?"
"I think it a suite idea."
"How's the car service out your
"Improving. I only had to stand up
half the way home last night."
They Looked Wilted.
"How fresh everything looks after
"Except the people who were caught
put in It."
The Kind to Use.
"You can't use children with
"Oh. I don't know. You might, with
How It Happened.
Askltt What caused Lamb's down
fall? Noltt He lost his balance In Wall
DID YOU EVER NOTICE?
Did you ever notice the trouble she has?
(if course you have, and so have I,
In the crowded car where space is shy
The trouble she has. ahem! ahem!
The trouble she has In crossing them?
Did you ever notice the trouble she hast
Of course you have, so have we alt.
In the theater, where the aisles are small.
The trouble she has. ahem! ahem!
The trouble she has In crossing them?
Did you ever notice the trouble she hasf
I'm sure I have, and so have you.
On Sunday In the plush-lined pew.
The trouble she has, ahem! ahem!
The trouble she has In crossing them?
THEY REALLY ARE.
"Do you believe women are really
better than men?" she asked.
"I haven't any doubt of It. Where
Is there a man who would be willing
to come In here and do my typewrit
ing for $10 a week and at the same
time take pains to make me forge)
that there is any such thing as troublb
in the world?"
The World Moves.
Two aeronauts went speeding by
With one another vying:
But they were "glummed" by aero cops
And fined for reckless flying.
"I see that most of the human hair
used in this country for rats and puffs'
comes from China."
"Where In the world do they get It
"Off the heads of the Chinese, of
"Human hair off the heads of China
men? You make me laugh!"
"There isn't enough analogy In the
English language," proclaimed the
bright young student. "If we say
'male and female' to distinguish sex,
why not say 'lion and felion, too?"
"Wouldn't distinguish," replied the
practical professor, "considering both
A Strong Attachment
Jinks I called on your friend, Miss
Sweetllps, last night, and could hard
ly tear myself away.
Miss Charming Was she so de
lightful as that?
Jinks Oh, it wasn't she I had to
tear myself away from; It was the
A New Danger.
"I was fined a hundred dollars and
costs this morning," said the owner of
the aeroplane, sadly.
"What for?" queried his friend. .
"My chauffeur lost control of the
machine and It bumped Into and
smashed some fellow's air castle," an
swered the high flyer.
"ON 8TANLEY, ON."
New Arrival But why Is the phono
graph In the dining room playing that
selection called "The Grand Charge?"
Landlord 'Sh! The guests are com
ing in to dinner.'
"To-morrow never comes, they say,"
Scntentiously said Vose.
"Then dlno with me to-morrow, pray,"
Came quick from Mr. Close.
Made His Reputation.
Harker That fellow Bilkins Is an
enthusiast. Isn't he?
Parker That's what! You know
he likes to speak of himself as a
Parker Well, the only thing he
ever did In that line was to go on a
wild goose chase three years ago.
In the Right Spot.
"That poor young man told a very
affecting story of his misfortunes
Didn't he touch you?"
"Yes, madam, he did. For $10."
A Black Record.
"There goes a man of low life and
"Mercy on us! What does he do?"
"Cleans cellars and shovels In coal."
"A man always gets mad when he
finds the line busy."
"Not when he's fishing."
"Father, Is the. godess of reform
"No, my son. She's crosseyed."
A LITTLE COLD.
Re caught a little cold
That was a!L
So the neighbors sadly said,
As they gathered round his bed,
When they heard that ho was dead.
He caught a little cold
That was all. (Puck.)
Neglect of a cough or cold often
leads to serious trouble. To break up
a cold In twenty-four hours and cure
any cough that is curable mix two
ounces of Glycerine, a half-ounce of
Virgin Oil of Pine compound pure and
eight ounces of pure Whisky. Take a
teaspoonful every four hours. You can
buy these at any good drug store and
easily mix them in a large bottle.
Made Sure Pair Was There.
A through train stopped a few mo
ments at a small station the other
day. A passenger got off to walk
around a little. As the train began
to move again the passenger jumped
aboard, but just then he discovered
that he had but one overshoo. Think
ing that he dropped the other some
where on the platform, and as the
train was going too fast for him to
Jump off and recover it. he pulled off
the remaining shoe and threw It on
the platform, exclaiming: "There,
that makes a good pair of overshoes
for somebody." Entering the car, he
proceeded to his seat. There, to his
great astonishment, was his overshoe.
A look of Intense disgust came over
bis face, but be did not hesitate.
Quickly picking up the lone arctic, he
hurried to the platform, threw the
shoe as far as he could back toward
the other one, and shouted: "By
jlmmlny, there is a pair ot overshoes
As to the Hessian Fly.
The llesalan fly is a German product
which was conceived in iniquity and
born In sauerkraut. It is a long, rangy
fly with a bite like a steel trap, and It
lays a pale blue, oblong egg at the
rate of 30,000 an hour. The Hessian
fly will eat anything from decayed
custard pie to a glass Inkwell, but Its
favorite dish is the double neck ot a
fat gent. This bird can perform a
two-step on Btlcky fly paper without
crooking Its toes, and is proof against
rough on rats, the daisy fly killer, and
a strychnine hypodermic. No Hessian
fly was ever known to die of anything
but old age, which accounts for the
color of its whiskers. If It ever fas
tens upon your jowl, It will stay until
removed by the undertaker. Man
chester (la.) Frees.
Sing Sing to Be Removed.
Sing Sing prison is to bo removed
across the Hudson river 15 or 20
miles northward, just eight miles
south of We6t Point, where a large
tract of land has been purchased and
a gang of several hundred convicts
has been working for two years.
,. The present prison was also built by
convicts In 1826, with material found
on the grounds, but, although It has
been enlarged every few years, and is
now one of the largest penitentiaries
in the world, it Is not large enough.
The Last Resort.
"They're going to increase the tax
on beer!" "Then we won't drink any."
"And they're going to increase the tax
on spirits." "Then we won't drink
any." "And they're going to tax
wine." "Then we won't drink any."
"And they're going to tax inheri
tances!" "Then let'a drink up our
Take a hint, do your own mixing. Rough
n Rats, being all poison, one 13c box will
spread or make 50 to 100 littlo cakes that
will kill 500 or more rats ami mice. It's
the unbeatable exterminator. Don't die in
the house. Beware of imitations, substi
tutes and catchpenny ready-for-tue de
vices. When a man tells a young widow
that she is the only woman be ever
loved she is sure he is eligible for
membership In an Ananias club.
Strong Winds and Sand Storms
rouse granulation of the eyelids. PliTTirS
EYE SALVE soothes and quickly relieves.
11 druggittsor Howard Bros., Buffalo, N. Y.
Happiness is increased, not by the
enlargement ot the possessions, but of
the heart. Ruskin.
DOJCT NF.OIECT THAT COCOH
II certainly racks your system and may run Into
something ssrlons. Allen's I.nni Balsam will ehrrk
ito,aleklv and permanently. For sale alall druggists.
We judge ourselves by what we feel
capable of doing, while others judge
us by what we have already done.'
Smokers also lite Lewis' Single Binder
eiiar for its purity. It is never doped,
only tobacco in iti natural itate.
He that does a base thing in teal
tor his friend burns the golden thread
that ties their hearts togethe.
Now end fain you tee two women pata
inj dowa the treet who look like titters.
You are stoniahed to learn that they era
another and daughter, and you realize that
woman at forty or forty-6ve ought to be
at her fineat and faireat. Why Un't it to P
The feneral health of woman it to in
timately attooittod with the local health
of the eaten tially feminine orfane that
there earn be no red cheeke and round
term whom them b female weeknett.
, N Woman who bar Buffered from
lUa trouble have found prompt
relief and earn la the f Dr.
Pitroa'a Farorlto Freenriptioa. It
raaa of womanhood. It eleaxe
yet and reddena the cheeke.
No eloohol, or habtt-fonninl draft it oontained In "Favorite Prcacrtption."
Any eiok woman may consult Dr. Pierce by letter, free. Every letter ia
held at aacredly confidential, and antwered in a plain envelope. Address I
World'e Dispensary Medical Association, Dr. R.V. fierce, Pres., Itiiflalo, N.Y.
from woman's ailments are invited to 'write to tho names and
Addresses liero given, for iKisiiivo proof that Lydia E. l'inkham'a
egetable. Uunjiounu does euro
Chicago, III. -Mrs. Alvuim Sterling, II Lang
I.lnilley, Iml.-Mrs. May Pry.
Kinsley, K .ins. -Mrs. Nt.'lliUllfTord Deatnaa.
heott, S. V. Mrs. S. .1. HarlMT.
t'nriiwallvllle, N.V. lni, Win. PmiRhton.
f'lnlnntl,0.aMr. W.K.I ImiHb.TFjuilTlewA
Milwaukee, Wls.-Mu. Emma liuse, SDJ lt
Chance of I I re.
South Bend, Iml.-Mrs. Kred Certla, 101 8.
Koali, Konttn-ky. Mrs. T.lrilo Holland.
Urookfleld, Mo. Mrs. ciaralt Lousigiiont, 207
H. Market 8U
fati'raon, N..l.-Mr. W. Somervllle, 133
rhlUdolnhlii, Ia. -Mrs. K. E. Oarrett, 307
Nurlh ll.iriiut SI rout.
Kswaakum, Vt ia.-Mrs. Carl Pulilke.
Worcester, ,M,i.,,iln. Uusylva Cote, 117
Indian ixlis, Iml. Mrs. A. P. Anderson, 1207
K. Pratt Htnwt.
HI Kim. Ha.-Mrs. Y. K. Pooler.
Atwater Station, O.Mra. Anton Mitelhannt.
Cincinnati, Ohlo.-Mm. E. II. Muddockt,
W.iRVl.im. (ililo.-Mrs. Lee Manges, Dot 111.
l)evitilll, N.Y.-Mm. A. A. tiiles.
Johnstown, N Y.-Mrs.iloimr M. Seaman, 103
K. M .llll HI root.
Burtoimew, lll.-Mra. peter Langenbahn.
Ilampstead, Aid. Mrs. los. II. Dnndr.
Adrlun, Oa. Ijciia V. Ilonrv, KontoNo. S.
ludlanaiHilis, lnl. liusalti V. I'lpor, IS) South
toulsTllln, Ky.-.Mrs. Bnmle,3r.?n Fourth St.
boutli West ll trlior, Miilnn. Mrs. Ulllan
Itobblns, Mt. Desert Light Stsllon.
Detroit, Mir-h. -Mrs. Frimlis Uueeuuu, M4
Aleldruui Areuue, Oermm,
Mor.ter, Ills.-.Mrs. M iry Hull.
Mk-onler, lnd.-Mra. KlltaWond.K F.n.Xo.4.
ftlellHiurne, Iowa. Mrs. Clara Wateriuaun,
K. F. U. No. 1.
n.irdslown, Ky. Mrs. Joseph JIall.
lwlston, M;il no. .Mrs. ilonry Cloutlor, 66
Minneapolis, Minn. Mrs, John O. Moldan,
U1I6 Second Street, li.
Ehamroek, Mo.-Juile ll.im, It. F. I. No. 1 ;
Marlton, N.J. -Mrs. Oeo. Jordy, Route No. 3,
Chester. Ark Mrs. Ella Wood.
Ocllhi, (lo.-Mri. T. A. t'rlhh.
I'Hiidlnton, lud. Mrs. M:iy Marshall, Tl.Tt. 44.
Cumbrldgo, Neb. Mrs, Nollle Moslandur.
These- women nro only a few of thousands of livinp; witnesses of
tho power of Lydia K. lMnkham's Vcgctablo Compound to cure femalo
diseases, is ot ono ot these women ever received compensation In any
form for tho use of their names in this advertisement but are will
ing that wo should refer to them because of tho good they may
do other Buffering women to prove that Lydia E. I'inkham's
Vegetable Compound is a reliable and honest medicine, and that the
statements made in our advertisements regarding its merit are the
truth and nothing but tho truth.
Minutes Make C?v
From 35 degrees to 70 degrees
from an unbearable cold to a glow
ing heat that contributes the cheery
comfort you want In your home Is
the difference that can be made in
10 minutes when you have the
(Equipped with Smokeless Device)
to do your heating. It is unrivaled
for quick work and effective, clean
Impossible to turn the wick too high or too low Impossible
to make it smoke or emit disacreeable odor the self-locking
Automatic Smokeless Device
absolutely prcvents smoke. Lighted in a second cleaned in a minute
burns Nine Hours with one filling. Rustless brass font.
Automatic smokeless device instantly removed for cleaning.
Highest efficiency in heating power Beautifully finished m
Japan or Nickel an ornament anywhere a necessity everywhere.
Variety of styles.
Every Dealer Everywhere. If Mot At Youra. Write for Deicriptlve CIreullf
to the Nearest Agency of the
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
IliKlon. li.C. lluotfilrMi. Hi : Il
eal rtterauKa. Hun res alia.
AftPNTQ demonstration makes a saloln
IV I 9 e? .ry Ikhiio. Your pniilt Hi,
free sample. N. Hturmea A Co., MIduvupuIis, Minn.
W. N. U., OMAHA, NO. 46-1903.
five nior and yiulity to tit
the eonplexiuas brightene thn
OoMien, Ala.-Mrs.W. T Hiilton, TtouUNo.S.
'uU-.n", l'l.-Mrs Wm. Tully.OAOgdea Av.
Paw l'uw, Mli-h. Mr. Kmnia hiapnr.
1'lushiiiK, Mlh.-Mis. Hurt l'jd, VLT.D.
No. ;l ; ore of I . A. Hunborn.
CnflVovlllo, Miss. Mrs. S. .1. Jones.
Cini'liinall.Uhlo.-.Mn. Flora Aur, 13G2Erml
Clereluud. Ohio -Miss Llzilo Btelger, 8314
Flc-t Avenue, S.K.
Wesleyvllle. Pa.-.Mr8. MnKpleEiiter.R.F.n.l.
Iiverslnirc.'l'oiin Mrs. l.ua Milliard, It 11.1.
Huytlold, a,-11 is. .Muyino Windle.
TTerrln, Ill -Mrs. Clio. Kolk.il.
Winchester, lud. Mrs. May Iest.
Jyer, lnd.-Mrs. Win. oherloh. K. P.Tt.Ko.L
llultlinore, M.I. -Mrs. V. H. Furd, 111.18 Lana-
Clarka.liile, Mo. Miss Anna Walla..
luvsvllle,ohlo.-Mr. Klla Michael, It F.TVS.
liuyton, Ohio. Mrs. i.U Uale, Box its, Na
tional Military Home.
Lebanon, Pa.-.Mia. Harry L. Kittle, 233 LU
RvkiwIVnu. -Minnie, Hall.
Vluennnns, lud. -Mrs. bjl. 11. Jerauld, MSN.
Gardiner, Muine.-Mri, 8. A. Williams, B. F.
!. No. M: lloi.lii.
Philadelphia, I'a.-Mrs. Cbaa, Soell, 2407 N.
Wllllmantle, Vuuu.-Mra. lata Donovan, Dm
Wooilnldn, Idaho. Mrs. Itaehnl Johnson.
Kockland, Mutne.-.Mrs. Will Young, S CoU
rVottvlllo, Mich -Mrs J O. Johnson. UF.D.J.
Kayton. ohlo.-Mrs. F. H. Smith, 431 Kim 81.
F.i le, Pa.-Mra. J. V. Fiulll. li, It. K. 1. No. 7.
lloaver Falls, l'a.-.Mrs. W. P. Hojd, 2109
Falrclianon.l'a.-Mrs. T. A. Dunham, Tim 151
Fort Hunter, Pa. Mrs. Mury Jane Shnttn,
Faxt Karl, Pa. Mrs. Augustus Lyon, K.FJ.tV
Vleuua, W. Vo.-Mrs. Kuima Whoaton.
Ornnngo, Mo. Mrs. Mae MeKnlght,
tauidon, N.J.-Mr. Tillla Waters, 151 Liber
Joseph, Oregon. Mrs. Alice. tTuffman.
Pull.ulolphi.t, Pa. Mrs. John Johnston, 210
Christiana, Touu. Mrs, Mary Wood, R.F.D.
Pecos, 1'ctai.-Mrs. Ada Toung Egglestnn.
urunuevuie, vt.-Mra.Chiu. liarclay, M.F.D.
Turlock Irrigation District
OrPORTCNITIFS I'liaiirpaaaed. Al land,
A II U.N DAM' WATKll at low rate. Healthful
I llmutr. Kvfrjfihinir (irows. Btrawbrrriea al
ClirlHttuaa. No Slirlter Necmsnrv (ur atork oa
culilest dny or nlirht. The DAIKYMAN'S PAR
ADIsH. Write for 1 LLUSTlt ATED BOOKLET.
Dept. B. TUHL0CK BOARD OF TRADE, Turlock. CtL
CAREY ACT LANDS
$43.50 TER ACRE
Ten years to pay Largest reservoir ia
Stale. Water in canals. New settlers
arriving daily. Write for booklet "Where
to Live "
lU'RTNFR IRRIGATED LANDS CO.
b23 Judiie Dldii., Salt Lake City, I'tah
Five Minutes In the Morning
NO STROPPING NO HONING
UilD Ral CAM
. w " w r a.
rlMtifn siul N-siiiiricf ths halt,
lri.nints a luiunsnt (rn'".
NcTnr Falls to Rsstore Orav
Hair to Us Youthful Color.
Cum arsip iliirswi a bslr rslliaa,
C-V s-n SI nisi pMsilrtt
DEFIANCE STARCH rr.'
U anisic vital Trimrieitits Eva Walsx
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