NEW SIDELIGHT ON HISTORY
Englishman Has Other Than Accepted
Version for Cornwallis' Surren
der at Yorktown.
They were commemoratinr? the sur
render of Cotnwallls at Yorktow n witb
the usual fiery speeches. At the closa
of lh regular program the chairman
n Bounced with a wink to those near
him:
"We are happy to have with ua on
this auspicious occasion a repre
sentative of King Kdward, if not ot
King (JeoiRo. Ladies and gentlemen, I
bejf to present to you Maj. Arthur For
rester of tho First Koyal Dragoons,
who will now say a few words."
The major looked a little surprised
as lie strolled to the front of the plat
form, polished his eyeglass, and begau
with a drawl:
"ft has long been a wonder to me
how Cornwallis, with the pick of tho
lritlsh array, held Yorktown against a
miserable force of militia for only a
lew weeks. Hut, ladies and gentle
men, I've seen your town to-day, and
my wond.r is now that he cared to
hold Bch a forlorn-looking spot for
even one day."
"Shake!" broke In the chairman,
"the drinks are on me."
The Ever Changing Waist Linn.
Consider the mental agility it takes
to keep up with one's waist line. One
goes to bed at night In the sweet as
surance that It will be under the arms
for the next two or three months at
any rate, and awakes to learn from the
headlines in tho morning papers the
waist lino is positively at tho knees.
There Is absolutely no use In prognos
ticating anything about it any longer.
That the waist line occurred at tho
waLt was an axiom accepted as un
questionably as that the earth re
volves on Its axis, but In these days
of liigher criticism it is likely to be
anywhere. It bloweth where It list
eth. Mrs. Wilson Woodrow, in Ameri
can Magazine.
Gender.
Tho othr evening Miss Y., a maiden
lady of uncertain years, suspecting
tho cook wa3 entertaining her beau
downstairs, called Martha and in
quired whether she did not hear soma
one talking with her,
"Oh. no, ma'nin," cried the quick
wilted Martha; "it was only mo sing
ing a psalm."
"Very good," returned Miss Y. sig
nificantly; "you may amuse yourself
with psalms, but let's have no hlms."
Sheer white goods, In fact, any fine
wash goods when new, owe much of
their attractiveness to tho way they
are laundered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Homo laundering would bo equal
ly satisfactory if proper attention was
gitren to starching, the first essential
being good Starch, which has sufficient
strength to stiffen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will bo pleasantly surprised at the
Improved appearance of your work.
Frwn the Life of the Protector.
Cromwell wished to be painted with
ths wart.
"Hoot you mean th s7'.!-og?"
Ihiiv .- anxiously.
Nebraska Directory
1HI1I
Are (ho bM; InniM on liarlng them.
f Jtwir lirii ui-sirr, or
JOHN OBCRC PLOW CO. OMAHA
TUFT'S DENTAL ROOMS
M 1517 Douglas St., OMAHA, NEB.
KmiD.t voDUttrj n booium rrtcee.
TYPEWRITERS MAKES
tnmifr'ftiirWfi. ft .r tim rt
mmw. I(ntt, rrnt mppIIm. Wttfcin
injwhcr for fr eiamtnttnon Sod
mil Writ fttrhif namia lien iM (W
f ! ., U ( RM .riant.
Bale Ties
Fcr Hay
and
Straw
OtsMo'ltttilTilCi.lt!1i acd (in Sti.. Urs Kcliw, tea
Th Hoof with the Lap
All Nail HtaJi Prottclett
CAREY'S ROOFiNG
Hail and Firt Batitting
A (It your dealer or
SUNDERLAND ROOFING & SUPPLY CO.
Omaha, t l tit Nrbra.ka.
Fistula
TM. J r-. . in- WJi a!
f r I The book iiwllwnnhri.dliip. M
fc2l y PJ' "Ixxil I'il'riCV;
i-;aVVJ ' h"If tn tho ho hv-1
-'TW11 M atifU-i t-J h( luttiiri a and unni 1
intnfii lor year mi now lonnlili r thctr I
i iimrir---. l-tiiina uu mi- mutt in prrniii.
1 ion ni-i.ii j iiij 'I'vnrin r inn lr(t tf f
I, nunuirtii v HMt wi rrilirril. IT Vtill J
i ninvimi1 j u nisi my niruioii ! inr Hillc f i
k inn nirr.i wuy iiiipitn ptrniaucUl I
iivi iitira your uiuiciiun.
P.tV Whnn
-a j v
Thita turn Itlmi nfler t run fmiMv mjkc
1 hat th ImM w.iv in t rove to you ihjt I
v. Vou rlik nnthtnv ?o pav nothlnq until thr
mrr hj brn acvvmpltilti'd. Ilttn I yivn you n
avrltirn RUiranirv (Lfofttl lonif a you .tvr) trim
th enrv w til h pcrmnnrnt. .MmuiIvI tiw trotthlr fl
rvcrrrrurn nrany ti tlie avmptom apprar K4in
aflrr I pronounce you enrrj, I wilt treat you and
tflvf you ttte ht ta:u ntiiiit at my rominnnil, frrt t
rharijo, until every gympirvti haa liapHrril
I ht' fair and wiuarr. Ii a ttie moat I the ml olirr
evvr mad. Why not accrpl It iiiJ ikI yuuttcll ot
thr troulil forwrrf
t'Mnm and m ahottt your raat. ! roil rannot
root tut now. wrlto for my lre book. Addrrat
, DR. E. R. TARRY,
226 Deo Bulldlnp, Omaha, Nebraska.
This .
Oils Ml
'A
Jl I
l'
V
v
3V
KAOldL.imcIucivltn
At a party over at old Urizintlne's
one night they were talking about the
progress of the world. There were
present all of the wise men of the
community. Medicine was represent
ed by "Doc'' I'eters, horse surgeon:
the law by Anthony Units, Justice of
the peace; sculpture by'Hufe Coodall,
stone quarry man; art by Miss Nancy
Hodge, drawer of a map of the coun
ty; literature by Stephen nine, writer
of for sale notices and epitaphs; the
ministry by Uev. Oustavus Xudgo
and agriculture by Limuel Jucklin. So,
it may be seen, hero was assembled a
goodly twentietli century company,
prepared by experience and stimulat
ed by education to discourse upon any
subject.
"The tire revolves faster than the
hub," said the minister, Mr. Nudge,
"and it is but natural that we, uow
on tho outer rim of time, should move
with more accelerated motion than
our forefathers, who were nearer the
center, so to speak. Ah, lirother
There Were Present All the
Jucklin, what changes have taken
place bince wo can remember."
"Yes," replied old I.im, "a good
many. I can recollect when we had
to go or n mornin' to a neighbor's
houso for a chunk of fire. Wa'n't any
matches."
Miss Nancy Hodge, elevating her
eyebrows, exclaimed: "For pity
sake."
"Yes," said old Lim; "and the
chances were that the feller that was
sent after the chunk of fire would bo
drunk before he got back. Everybody
kept liquor in the house, and if a fel
ler stopped and helloed at the gate
they'd ask him to get down and take a
drink."
"In the matter of whisky there has
been great reform and, I may there
fore say, progress," remarked Uev.
Mr. Nudge.
Limuel nodded assent. "But," said
he. "the reform has been with man and
not with liquor. The greatest good
that whltky has douo Is to be so mean
that nobody wants It. Hut I can re
member when It was the milk In the
cocoanut of of paradise, I tell you.
In comparison to what it In now, par
son," he added, to soften the remark,
which he was quick to observe had
somewhat disturbed the countenance
"He Ha3 the Progress of the World
of tho preacher, "but, parson, do you
know what has done more toward the
cix Hiring of us all than nny other
agency?"
Modesty restrained Mr. Nudgo from
mentioning what, in hia opinion, was
the real cause, so he hazarded the
one word "education."
"That's nil very well," suld I.im,
"but there's a shorter way of gelt'n'
at It. I bhould say the -drummer."
The itiitih ler winced as if ho had
suddenly bitten into a sour pickle.
"Yes. i;ir, the man that goes about
and sells gondii," said I.im. "lie has
the progress of tho world buckled up
in his Ki'.mplo case. He . tho circuit
rider of tr.ulc. Ho not only brings
what the people already want, but
teache3 them to need things; and the
man that t-hows us what we need
moves forward a good many degrees.
Take our town over here. Tor more
than fifty years the churches had been
in full blatt pardon the expression
and the schools bad been In opera
tion; and yet the hotels were so bad
that a hungry dog might bo excused
for giving it the goby. Why, whit
leather was as tender as a lamb's
tongue compared with the beefsteak.
The biscuits were Just about as diges
tible as door knobs. The r.alt pork
might properly have been labeled 'tho
enemy of mankind.' The butter looked
as It it had been mado of the milk of
a cow tbut had Jusl seen a ghost.
What's the name of that place where
they used tn torture folk the Iihiu'.kI
tion? Ye?. Why, if a man had been
snatched out of the Inquisition and
put into that hotel he would have
complr.lncd of tlx. change. And the
stores around the square. Hero pig
pens, ornamented by a dry goods box
outside. Such was tho stato of affairs
found by the drummer when he came
along. Mind you, no other reform had
been able to touch it; and why? He
'cause the people didn't know nny bet
ter. Hut the drummer showed them
that the other parts of the worl6
wouldn't live that way."
"Hut you must agree," Mr. Nudge
Interposed, "that our young men have
been inspired with a spirit of unrest."
"Yes, I acknowledge that." said I.lin.
"And a spirit of unrest Is the first step
toward advancement. The young fel
lers saw that they needed a better, a
mote practical education, and they set
about to get it. If there is a better
teacher than experience it is example.
Wise Men of the Community.
Envy as generally understood may be
a bad thing, but it Is active envy that
makes the world move forward. The
drummer brought stories with him.
They illustrated life. A community
that has only old stories lives in the
past. The drummer's new storic3
quickened tho intellect. They made
thr mind Jump. Trade"
"Ah." Mr. Nudge broke in. "I thank
you for the timely Introduction of that
well-worn word. You would place
trade above everything."
"Well, I wouldn't place it below
everything. Trade is the exchange of
materialized ideas. It is the circulat
ing blood of a nation. Art is a sort of
fever and marks disease. Literature
Is a prescription, and if it don't help
lifo fails to do It nny good. I want
to tell you. a drummer first set mo to
readin'. Of course I knew what books
were. Hut I thought that when a man
got along well In life he ought to think
of everything except books. They
were for boys nad girls. Hut this
drummer that stayed all night at my
houso said that tho greatest books
had been written by old men. There
fore they ought to be read by old men
tie opened up a new Tlew of lifo, lie
showed me that as long as a man
lived and kept his health he could
develop and expand. Ho left a book
Buckled Up in His Sample Case.
with me, and It wa'n't long before 1
discovered that 1 had Just begun tc
live. This man Fold things and in
meeting men came away from there
with a better knowledge of human na
ture. Knowing so much of tho weak
nes;i of man, he could better ndmlrc
his strength or pardon his faults."
"Hut you are forgetting tho Cospel,'
said Mr. Xude.
"On. no. The drummer Is a good ex
empliiU ation of the CJufpol. IJc goes
Into till the world. The Cospel was
never coiun'.anded to stand still. It it
a running stream. Stnt;n:int water
breed peMlli rice The Saviour ol
man was the. most liberal man that
ever lived. He bad no home. Tho
drummer is liberal because bis ho;at
Is the world. He meets a local preju
dice and turns it into a national liber
nlity. He demands a placo where he
may spend his leisure hours, and pub
lie libraries mnrk his course. Tho un
rent you spe;.-!; f has stimulated trav
el, and travel is tho picture that goes
in tho bonk of education. The drum
mer must b ttetlvo nnd therefore he
must be sober, lib achievement ovct
drunken competition Is the greatest,
the most vivid temperanco lecture
ever delivered. It makes sobriety a
business rather than a mere Inactive
virtue. What are you fetchin' on Ikto,
madam? Lemonade? Wo'll drink it
to the drummer."
cCopyrlght, by Ople Read.)
BED-DOUIMO FTJR MONTHS.
Hope Abandoned After Physicians'
Consultation.
Fnos Shearer, Yew and Wash-
Sts., Ceatralla. Wash., says:
tor years 1 was
weak and run down, ,
could not sleep, my
limbs swelled and '
the secretions were
troublesome; pains
were Intense. I was
fast in bed fcr four
months. Three doc
tors said there was
no cine for me, and I was given up to
die. V.eing urged, I used Dean's Kid
ney Tills. Soon l was better nnd In a
few we ks was nbout the house, well
and strong again. "
Sold by nil dealers, f0 cents a box,
Fost( r-Mllburn Co.; ItufTalo, N. Y.
WHAT SHE ESCAPED.
Jack There goes young Softy. He
took his flnacee out rowing last. Sun
day, rocked the boat, and the poor
gil was drowned.
Ruth Lucky girl!
Jnck Why do you say thal?
liuth Why, the might have lived
and married tho idiot.
HAD AWFUL WEEPING ECZEMA
Face and Neck Were Raw Terribla
Itching, Inflammation and Soreness
All Treatments Failed.
Cuticura Proved a Great Success.
"Eczema began over the top of my
ear. It cracked and then began to
pprend. I had three different doctors
and tried f.evcral things, but they did
me no pood. At lu;:t one side of my
face and my neck cre raw. The
water ran out of It bo that I had to
wear medicated cotton, and It was so
Inflamed and sore that I hnd to put i
a piece of cloth over my pillow to keep
the water from it, and It would stalj
the cloth a sort of yellow. The ec
rema Itched so that It seemed as though
I could tear my face all to pieces.
Then I began to use tho Cuticura Soap
and Ointment, and It was not more
than three months before It was all
healed up. Miss Ann Pearsons, North
field, Vt Dec. 19, ft07."
Potur Drug Jt Cbm. Corp, Bol Props, Bolton.
Weds Her Rich Stepfather.
Social circles In Pasadena, Cal.,
learned with nmnzement the other day
that Miss Katherlno Traphagen has
become the bride of her stepfather,
Cyrus M. Davis of lxs Angeles. Miss
Traphagen lived with her sisters in
Altadena and was one of the promi
nent members of tho Young Women's
Christian association, being director
of Its abort story club.
The extraordinary popularity of flnt
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch a matter of great Im
portance, Defiance Starch, being free
from all Injurious chemicals, Is the
only ono which Is safe to use on fins
fabrics. It great strength as a st.lffen
er makes half the usual quantity of
Starch necessary, mlth the result of
perfect finish, equel to that when the
goods were new.
Didn't Go Near the Water.
"Have you caught a cold, dear?"
"Just a little cold, mamma."
' Have you got your feet wot lately,
my dear child?"
"Why, I got one Jut a wee bit wet
when In my bathing suit tho other
day, mamma." Yonkers Statesman.
8haka Into Your Shoe
Allen's Fcot-Ease, a powder for your fact.
It cures painful, swollen, smarting, svieat
InK foct. Makes new shoes easy. Sold by
nil DniKglnts nnd Plioo Stores, av. Don't
nnopt any substitute. San.plo I-TIKII. Ad
dn.iS Allen S. Olmrted. IRoy, N. Y.
The Air.
lie So you think married life
ou:-'ht to be one grand, sweet souk?
She Yes.
lie What air would you prefer for
this matrimouial song?
L ite I think a millionaire.
Still Inimitable.
First Cricket Men are flying.
Second Cricket Perhaps, but. they
c;in't make music, with their less.
Limp bnelc nnd l.nmlorn make yniunr
tiiiii fpcl old. tbiniliriN Wir.ird Oil irAi ..
nn iM man frrl jniinp. Alinnt'ly no; li
inj; like it for the relief vl all pain.
When Jim hear one man tr.ii:i: tn
hi little another, it's safe to bet that
tlii other is liis superior.
VFRKV IIWK 1- IMI I I It
A fivUniinf M'iMiriiy i'..njc lv i j: i I 'tnMi
r ty on h.inl. M K ll 1 1 -1 1 . t ihli- i U l-i.:i i.l
1 i.llsU'itlir.tllul I lH'.t, rriniN. .h' , ' .. l'"K .i s
Many a num makes his mark In the
wnrld with a whitewash brush.
I.i-win' Single Ihndcr strnilit ri.ir is ;
ni.ulo to Nitir-iy tin: Miiuker. ,
....I .M.. ..rr I
trouble by puttlnr; on a bold front.
.'Mill III V.llll'1. 1411 (I 111.1 11 UIHMVil I'll
Mrs.
Ington
-afjgjflT; "y j
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
Color more poodi brighter and falter enlom than an other Otn I0r Backg color all fibers. Thm dv Is cold water better Own ant other dm Vcu Cm da
aajBerDwmteiUioiitripiiinytpirL Write tor Iroo boualct-Hoe t Qio, Bleacit anil MwCthirt. MOHftQE OHVO CO Qulncy'. Illinois.
AT THE MOMENT.
Terey Aw, are jnu interested iu tho
"Coming Young Man?"
Kitty (with a yawn) No; lam more
Interested In the going young man.
PAINT DURABILITY.
The firrt thought in painting bhould,
of course, be durability and dura
bility means simply pure paint prop
erly applied, l'ure paint is pure
white lead and linseed oil (with or
without tinting material).
Some years ngo the paint buyer was
likely to get adulterated or counter
feit white lead if bo was not fumiliar
with brands. To-day ho may buy
with perfect safety if be only makes
sure that tho Dutch Hoy Fainter
trademark is on the packages of
white lead that ho buys. This trade
mark was adopted by National Lead
Company to distinguish tho pure
white lead made by them from tho
worthless adulterated and fake goods.
It Is a guarantee as valuable to the
house-owner as the education of a
paint expert could be.
Marriage and Meanness.
Some years ago there lived In Atch
ison a young woman noted for her
good works and gentleness. She was
always helping' tho jwor and was pa
tient and kind nnd universally ad
mired. Sho married a fairly good man
and abused him within three months.
She had been good and patient for
years, but a husband was too much
for her; she had never been crops to
any one until ?dio was cross to her
husband. There Is something about
marriage that stirs up bidden depths
of mennnoss on both tides. Atchison
(Kan.) Globe.
Early to Bed.
The man who makes It the habit
of his life to go to bed at nine o'clock
usually gets rich and is always reli
able Of course going to bed does
not make him rich I merely mean
that such a man will in all probabil
ity be up early In the morning nnd
do u big day's work, so his weary
I ones put him to bed early. Rogues
do their work at night. Honest men
work by day. It's all a matter of
habit find good habits in America
make any man rich. Wealth is a re
sult of habit. John Jacob Astor.
With a smooth Iron and Defiance
Starch, you can launder your shirt
waist Just as well at home as the
steam laundry can; ft will have the
proper stiffness nnd finish', there will
bo less wear and tear of tho goods,
and It will be a positive pleasure to
use a Starch that does not stick to the
iron.
No Infallible Method.
A leading mathematician of France
gives another warning that there Is
no Infallible method of doubling one's
stakes after a loss. "All one can do,"
sr.ys he, "Is to combine one's play so
as to have a great chance of winning
a little and a little chance of losing
much, and many chances of losing
little."
Important to Mother.
Bzaalnt carefully every botlU Of
CASTORIA taf and turt remedy for
fafasts cad ehUdrtn, and sea that ft
Id I'm For Over .TO Yean.
Tfca (tied TftU Nave Alwiyi ttonjthl
Hardly Flattered Himself.
Family lawyer do young heir)
Now, remember, my boy, that a fool
and his money are soon parted.
Young Heir (Impressively) I In
tend, sir. to be the exception that
proves tin rule.
I-n-is' Siriiil Hinder eipnr. Onpinul in Tin
l'oil Smoker 1'nrkiiFC Tukc no aulntitutc.
Our Idea of a wise man Is one who
never argues with a woman.
Mr. Wnlmr'a Soothlnr Sr"p.
Ptrrhnilren tft'lhlnir, nftDa th iriim, rcouret tn
lkiuinuuui.aili.vs twin, curui vlmlcoilu. Vx a IkjII.o.
It Is the after effect of experience
that counts.
j Thcmpsoii's dye Wafer
a;
;1!'r i-i-vM HAIR liALSAM
Via'i5t.-Ji2.'nr-i. ti. rim Hi h!T.
.T -J -Nv' r r'' '"'" ry I
:A-i- ' i llir la en V.iumful Clor.
tk" yttt) .'-siwli Cuim wk.n c'li.-..-. l.nlf K'.uk. i
iiHM,n:;iyi " ;
IHE
BEST
REMEDY
i
For Women-Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound
Noah, Ky. "I was passing through
tlm Change of Life anil suffered from
headaches, nervous
prostration, and
hemorrhages.
"I.ydia. K. pink,
ham's Vegetable
Compound made nie .
well and strong, bo
that lean do all my
housework, and at
tend to the store
and rost-nilico, and
Ifeolmuehyounger
than I really am.
"Lydia K.Pink.
Lam's Vegetable Compound is the most
successful remedy for all kinds of
female troubles, and I feel that 1 cau
never praise It enouglu" MK3. Lizzi k
IIollaxo, Noali, Ky.
TlirChaugoof Life isthemostcritloal 1
period of a woman'a existence, and
neglect of lieulth at thia timo invites
disease and pain.
Womeneverywheroshouldremembcr ,
that there isnootherroruody known to
medicine that will sosuccessfullycarry
women turnugii ttita trying pertoa as
I.ydia E. linkliam's Vegetable Com-
IHiund, mado from native roots auj
icrbs.
Tor 30 years it has been curtnpr
women from the worst forms of female
Ills inflammation, ulceration, dis
placements, libroid tumors, irregulari
ties, periodic pains, baclacho, anJ
nervous prostration.
If you would like special advlco '
about your case) write aronllden
tlal letter to Mrs. I'inklmm, at
Lynn, Mass. Her advico is free,
itud always helpful.
SICK HEADACHE
Positively cured by
these Little Pills.
Ttipy also rellPTe Pi
(roHnfrom I)jppl. In-.
llKFtloniiuilTooUcarly
Kal Inc. A prrfei't rn
ly for Dltzliirna, Nie
ea, Tiroir.liipHii, I)mo
Tanlr In t he UonUi, Coitt
il Tonpue, 1'nln In Ilia
ile, warm MVF.K.
CARTERS
ITTLE
IVER
PILLS.
The; regulate Hie DowcIr. Turcly YrgrUbla
SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE,
Genuine Must Bear
Fac-Simile Signature
REFUSE SUBSTITUTES.
TOILET ANTISEPTIC
NOTHING LIKE IT FOR
"Tilt" Tl I Til Putino eirelt ny dntfilrtc
I lit I bb I II in clctniint whitening eod -mnoTing
tutai from the teeth, bcadet dtiiToyinf '
II nrnu ol decay ind ducue which crduury
tooth pfcparatioiM euuot do.
TUr ftAIITtl PM'ineBxJueia011
InL IllUUIll WuhflWMUthoDMUlb
ad thfoW, purine the trcalh, nd kills the yam
wbith coDecl in tho mouth, cawing m ftrot,
bed teeth, bed bieaih, grippe, and much ikm.
TUP CVrC N'1n eifliiBed. tired, edit
I nt bl bO and Lure, may be ieaUnll
uttered end atitngthfned by Pattine.
ft ITAnnU Put w"l dotrov lie trM
WH I rtflllrl tkal caute catarrh, heal the ie
Bammalion and atop the discharge, h is a ewe
emtdy loroteiine catarrh.
Pattine St harmlcw yd powntul
Crmitide,diunleaant and deodorizer,
ted in bathing it dettroy odon end
luvet the body anlietptkalry clean:
ton aLi at DRuoeTORce.BOc.
OH POSTPAID Bl MAIL.
LARGE SAMPLE FREE!
THi PAXTON TOILET CO.. BOSTON. MA 8 8.
Stop
taking liquid pliysrC or bij cr little
pills, that which mnkes yoti worse
instead of curing. Cathartics don't
cure they irritate and weaken tho
bowels. CASCAKETS make the
bowels stronp;, toue the irur-des so
they crawl and workwhen they
do this they arc bealthy, producing
right results.
CASCARHTS inc hoi for a wrfk'e
ttrnlniriil. All iltntT'l. HiKgrl c-IlT
til lUe wcilU. Milhou boxca u muiitti.
This Tratlc-msrl;
Elirninalcs All
Unifr'ainly
in tli'1 j nr' h..se i.f
li.:irt !..;! li.ds.
It i .
i.!r.!'
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