NEW SIDELIGHT ON HISTORY Englishman Has Other Than Accepted Version for Cornwallis' Surren der at Yorktown. They were commemoratinr? the sur render of Cotnwallls at Yorktow n witb the usual fiery speeches. At the closa of lh regular program the chairman n Bounced with a wink to those near him: "We are happy to have with ua on this auspicious occasion a repre sentative of King Kdward, if not ot King (JeoiRo. Ladies and gentlemen, I bejf to present to you Maj. Arthur For rester of tho First Koyal Dragoons, who will now say a few words." The major looked a little surprised as lie strolled to the front of the plat form, polished his eyeglass, and begau with a drawl: "ft has long been a wonder to me how Cornwallis, with the pick of tho lritlsh array, held Yorktown against a miserable force of militia for only a lew weeks. Hut, ladies and gentle men, I've seen your town to-day, and my wond.r is now that he cared to hold Bch a forlorn-looking spot for even one day." "Shake!" broke In the chairman, "the drinks are on me." The Ever Changing Waist Linn. Consider the mental agility it takes to keep up with one's waist line. One goes to bed at night In the sweet as surance that It will be under the arms for the next two or three months at any rate, and awakes to learn from the headlines in tho morning papers the waist lino is positively at tho knees. There Is absolutely no use In prognos ticating anything about it any longer. That the waist line occurred at tho waLt was an axiom accepted as un questionably as that the earth re volves on Its axis, but In these days of liigher criticism it is likely to be anywhere. It bloweth where It list eth. Mrs. Wilson Woodrow, in Ameri can Magazine. Gender. Tho othr evening Miss Y., a maiden lady of uncertain years, suspecting tho cook wa3 entertaining her beau downstairs, called Martha and in quired whether she did not hear soma one talking with her, "Oh. no, ma'nin," cried the quick wilted Martha; "it was only mo sing ing a psalm." "Very good," returned Miss Y. sig nificantly; "you may amuse yourself with psalms, but let's have no hlms." Sheer white goods, In fact, any fine wash goods when new, owe much of their attractiveness to tho way they are laundered, this being done in a manner to enhance their textile beau ty. Homo laundering would bo equal ly satisfactory if proper attention was gitren to starching, the first essential being good Starch, which has sufficient strength to stiffen, without thickening the goods. Try Defiance Starch and you will bo pleasantly surprised at the Improved appearance of your work. Frwn the Life of the Protector. Cromwell wished to be painted with ths wart. "Hoot you mean th s7'.!-og?" Ihiiv .- anxiously. Nebraska Directory 1HI1I Are (ho bM; InniM on liarlng them. f Jtwir lirii ui-sirr, or JOHN OBCRC PLOW CO. OMAHA TUFT'S DENTAL ROOMS M 1517 Douglas St., OMAHA, NEB. KmiD.t voDUttrj n booium rrtcee. TYPEWRITERS MAKES tnmifr'ftiirWfi. ft .r tim rt mmw. I(ntt, rrnt mppIIm. Wttfcin injwhcr for fr eiamtnttnon Sod mil Writ fttrhif namia lien iM (W f ! ., U ( RM .riant. Bale Ties Fcr Hay and Straw OtsMo'ltttilTilCi.lt!1i acd (in Sti.. Urs Kcliw, tea Th Hoof with the Lap All Nail HtaJi Prottclett CAREY'S ROOFiNG Hail and Firt Batitting A (It your dealer or SUNDERLAND ROOFING & SUPPLY CO. Omaha, t l tit Nrbra.ka. Fistula TM. J r-. . in- WJi a! f r I The book iiwllwnnhri.dliip. M fc2l y PJ' "Ixxil I'il'riCV; i-;aVVJ ' h"If tn tho ho hv-1 -'TW11 M atifU-i t-J h( luttiiri a and unni 1 intnfii lor year mi now lonnlili r thctr I i iimrir---. l-tiiina uu mi- mutt in prrniii. 1 ion ni-i.ii j iiij 'I'vnrin r inn lr(t tf f I, nunuirtii v HMt wi rrilirril. IT Vtill J i ninvimi1 j u nisi my niruioii ! inr Hillc f i k inn nirr.i wuy iiiipitn ptrniaucUl I iivi iitira your uiuiciiun. P.tV Whnn -a j v Thita turn Itlmi nfler t run fmiMv mjkc 1 hat th ImM w.iv in t rove to you ihjt I v. Vou rlik nnthtnv ?o pav nothlnq until thr mrr hj brn acvvmpltilti'd. Ilttn I yivn you n avrltirn RUiranirv (Lfofttl lonif a you .tvr) trim th enrv w til h pcrmnnrnt. .MmuiIvI tiw trotthlr fl rvcrrrrurn nrany ti tlie avmptom apprar K4in aflrr I pronounce you enrrj, I wilt treat you and tflvf you ttte ht ta:u ntiiiit at my rominnnil, frrt t rharijo, until every gympirvti haa liapHrril I ht' fair and wiuarr. Ii a ttie moat I the ml olirr evvr mad. Why not accrpl It iiiJ ikI yuuttcll ot thr troulil forwrrf t'Mnm and m ahottt your raat. ! roil rannot root tut now. wrlto for my lre book. Addrrat , DR. E. R. TARRY, 226 Deo Bulldlnp, Omaha, Nebraska. This . Oils Ml 'A Jl I l' V v 3V KAOldL.imcIucivltn At a party over at old Urizintlne's one night they were talking about the progress of the world. There were present all of the wise men of the community. Medicine was represent ed by "Doc'' I'eters, horse surgeon: the law by Anthony Units, Justice of the peace; sculpture by'Hufe Coodall, stone quarry man; art by Miss Nancy Hodge, drawer of a map of the coun ty; literature by Stephen nine, writer of for sale notices and epitaphs; the ministry by Uev. Oustavus Xudgo and agriculture by Limuel Jucklin. So, it may be seen, hero was assembled a goodly twentietli century company, prepared by experience and stimulat ed by education to discourse upon any subject. "The tire revolves faster than the hub," said the minister, Mr. Nudge, "and it is but natural that we, uow on tho outer rim of time, should move with more accelerated motion than our forefathers, who were nearer the center, so to speak. Ah, lirother There Were Present All the Jucklin, what changes have taken place bince wo can remember." "Yes," replied old I.im, "a good many. I can recollect when we had to go or n mornin' to a neighbor's houso for a chunk of fire. Wa'n't any matches." Miss Nancy Hodge, elevating her eyebrows, exclaimed: "For pity sake." "Yes," said old Lim; "and the chances were that the feller that was sent after the chunk of fire would bo drunk before he got back. Everybody kept liquor in the house, and if a fel ler stopped and helloed at the gate they'd ask him to get down and take a drink." "In the matter of whisky there has been great reform and, I may there fore say, progress," remarked Uev. Mr. Nudge. Limuel nodded assent. "But," said he. "the reform has been with man and not with liquor. The greatest good that whltky has douo Is to be so mean that nobody wants It. Hut I can re member when It was the milk In the cocoanut of of paradise, I tell you. In comparison to what it In now, par son," he added, to soften the remark, which he was quick to observe had somewhat disturbed the countenance "He Ha3 the Progress of the World of tho preacher, "but, parson, do you know what has done more toward the cix Hiring of us all than nny other agency?" Modesty restrained Mr. Nudgo from mentioning what, in hia opinion, was the real cause, so he hazarded the one word "education." "That's nil very well," suld I.im, "but there's a shorter way of gelt'n' at It. I bhould say the -drummer." The itiitih ler winced as if ho had suddenly bitten into a sour pickle. "Yes. i;ir, the man that goes about and sells gondii," said I.im. "lie has the progress of tho world buckled up in his Ki'.mplo case. He . tho circuit rider of tr.ulc. Ho not only brings what the people already want, but teache3 them to need things; and the man that t-hows us what we need moves forward a good many degrees. Take our town over here. Tor more than fifty years the churches had been in full blatt pardon the expression and the schools bad been In opera tion; and yet the hotels were so bad that a hungry dog might bo excused for giving it the goby. Why, whit leather was as tender as a lamb's tongue compared with the beefsteak. The biscuits were Just about as diges tible as door knobs. The r.alt pork might properly have been labeled 'tho enemy of mankind.' The butter looked as It it had been mado of the milk of a cow tbut had Jusl seen a ghost. What's the name of that place where they used tn torture folk the Iihiu'.kI tion? Ye?. Why, if a man had been snatched out of the Inquisition and put into that hotel he would have complr.lncd of tlx. change. And the stores around the square. Hero pig pens, ornamented by a dry goods box outside. Such was tho stato of affairs found by the drummer when he came along. Mind you, no other reform had been able to touch it; and why? He 'cause the people didn't know nny bet ter. Hut the drummer showed them that the other parts of the worl6 wouldn't live that way." "Hut you must agree," Mr. Nudge Interposed, "that our young men have been inspired with a spirit of unrest." "Yes, I acknowledge that." said I.lin. "And a spirit of unrest Is the first step toward advancement. The young fel lers saw that they needed a better, a mote practical education, and they set about to get it. If there is a better teacher than experience it is example. Wise Men of the Community. Envy as generally understood may be a bad thing, but it Is active envy that makes the world move forward. The drummer brought stories with him. They illustrated life. A community that has only old stories lives in the past. The drummer's new storic3 quickened tho intellect. They made thr mind Jump. Trade" "Ah." Mr. Nudge broke in. "I thank you for the timely Introduction of that well-worn word. You would place trade above everything." "Well, I wouldn't place it below everything. Trade is the exchange of materialized ideas. It is the circulat ing blood of a nation. Art is a sort of fever and marks disease. Literature Is a prescription, and if it don't help lifo fails to do It nny good. I want to tell you. a drummer first set mo to readin'. Of course I knew what books were. Hut I thought that when a man got along well In life he ought to think of everything except books. They were for boys nad girls. Hut this drummer that stayed all night at my houso said that tho greatest books had been written by old men. There fore they ought to be read by old men tie opened up a new Tlew of lifo, lie showed me that as long as a man lived and kept his health he could develop and expand. Ho left a book Buckled Up in His Sample Case. with me, and It wa'n't long before 1 discovered that 1 had Just begun tc live. This man Fold things and in meeting men came away from there with a better knowledge of human na ture. Knowing so much of tho weak nes;i of man, he could better ndmlrc his strength or pardon his faults." "Hut you are forgetting tho Cospel,' said Mr. Xude. "On. no. The drummer Is a good ex empliiU ation of the CJufpol. IJc goes Into till the world. The Cospel was never coiun'.anded to stand still. It it a running stream. Stnt;n:int water breed peMlli rice The Saviour ol man was the. most liberal man that ever lived. He bad no home. Tho drummer is liberal because bis ho;at Is the world. He meets a local preju dice and turns it into a national liber nlity. He demands a placo where he may spend his leisure hours, and pub lie libraries mnrk his course. Tho un rent you spe;.-!; f has stimulated trav el, and travel is tho picture that goes in tho bonk of education. The drum mer must b ttetlvo nnd therefore he must be sober, lib achievement ovct drunken competition Is the greatest, the most vivid temperanco lecture ever delivered. It makes sobriety a business rather than a mere Inactive virtue. What are you fetchin' on Ikto, madam? Lemonade? Wo'll drink it to the drummer." cCopyrlght, by Ople Read.) BED-DOUIMO FTJR MONTHS. Hope Abandoned After Physicians' Consultation. Fnos Shearer, Yew and Wash- Sts., Ceatralla. Wash., says: tor years 1 was weak and run down, , could not sleep, my limbs swelled and ' the secretions were troublesome; pains were Intense. I was fast in bed fcr four months. Three doc tors said there was no cine for me, and I was given up to die. V.eing urged, I used Dean's Kid ney Tills. Soon l was better nnd In a few we ks was nbout the house, well and strong again. " Sold by nil dealers, f0 cents a box, Fost( r-Mllburn Co.; ItufTalo, N. Y. WHAT SHE ESCAPED. Jack There goes young Softy. He took his flnacee out rowing last. Sun day, rocked the boat, and the poor gil was drowned. Ruth Lucky girl! Jnck Why do you say thal? liuth Why, the might have lived and married tho idiot. HAD AWFUL WEEPING ECZEMA Face and Neck Were Raw Terribla Itching, Inflammation and Soreness All Treatments Failed. Cuticura Proved a Great Success. "Eczema began over the top of my ear. It cracked and then began to pprend. I had three different doctors and tried f.evcral things, but they did me no pood. At lu;:t one side of my face and my neck cre raw. The water ran out of It bo that I had to wear medicated cotton, and It was so Inflamed and sore that I hnd to put i a piece of cloth over my pillow to keep the water from it, and It would stalj the cloth a sort of yellow. The ec rema Itched so that It seemed as though I could tear my face all to pieces. Then I began to use tho Cuticura Soap and Ointment, and It was not more than three months before It was all healed up. Miss Ann Pearsons, North field, Vt Dec. 19, ft07." Potur Drug Jt Cbm. Corp, Bol Props, Bolton. Weds Her Rich Stepfather. Social circles In Pasadena, Cal., learned with nmnzement the other day that Miss Katherlno Traphagen has become the bride of her stepfather, Cyrus M. Davis of lxs Angeles. Miss Traphagen lived with her sisters in Altadena and was one of the promi nent members of tho Young Women's Christian association, being director of Its abort story club. The extraordinary popularity of flnt white goods this summer makes the choice of Starch a matter of great Im portance, Defiance Starch, being free from all Injurious chemicals, Is the only ono which Is safe to use on fins fabrics. It great strength as a st.lffen er makes half the usual quantity of Starch necessary, mlth the result of perfect finish, equel to that when the goods were new. Didn't Go Near the Water. "Have you caught a cold, dear?" "Just a little cold, mamma." ' Have you got your feet wot lately, my dear child?" "Why, I got one Jut a wee bit wet when In my bathing suit tho other day, mamma." Yonkers Statesman. 8haka Into Your Shoe Allen's Fcot-Ease, a powder for your fact. It cures painful, swollen, smarting, svieat InK foct. Makes new shoes easy. Sold by nil DniKglnts nnd Plioo Stores, av. Don't nnopt any substitute. San.plo I-TIKII. Ad dn.iS Allen S. Olmrted. IRoy, N. Y. The Air. lie So you think married life ou:-'ht to be one grand, sweet souk? She Yes. lie What air would you prefer for this matrimouial song? L ite I think a millionaire. Still Inimitable. First Cricket Men are flying. Second Cricket Perhaps, but. they c;in't make music, with their less. Limp bnelc nnd l.nmlorn make yniunr tiiiii fpcl old. tbiniliriN Wir.ird Oil irAi .. nn iM man frrl jniinp. Alinnt'ly no; li inj; like it for the relief vl all pain. When Jim hear one man tr.ii:i: tn hi little another, it's safe to bet that tlii other is liis superior. VFRKV IIWK 1- IMI I I It A fivUniinf M'iMiriiy i'..njc lv i j: i I 'tnMi r ty on h.inl. M K ll 1 1 -1 1 . t ihli- i U l-i.:i i.l 1 i.llsU'itlir.tllul I lH'.t, rriniN. .h' , ' .. l'"K .i s Many a num makes his mark In the wnrld with a whitewash brush. I.i-win' Single Ihndcr strnilit ri.ir is ; ni.ulo to Nitir-iy tin: Miiuker. , ....I .M.. ..rr I trouble by puttlnr; on a bold front. .'Mill III V.llll'1. 1411 (I 111.1 11 UIHMVil I'll Mrs. Ington -afjgjflT; "y j PUTNAM FADELESS DYES Color more poodi brighter and falter enlom than an other Otn I0r Backg color all fibers. Thm dv Is cold water better Own ant other dm Vcu Cm da aajBerDwmteiUioiitripiiinytpirL Write tor Iroo boualct-Hoe t Qio, Bleacit anil MwCthirt. MOHftQE OHVO CO Qulncy'. Illinois. AT THE MOMENT. Terey Aw, are jnu interested iu tho "Coming Young Man?" Kitty (with a yawn) No; lam more Interested In the going young man. PAINT DURABILITY. The firrt thought in painting bhould, of course, be durability and dura bility means simply pure paint prop erly applied, l'ure paint is pure white lead and linseed oil (with or without tinting material). Some years ngo the paint buyer was likely to get adulterated or counter feit white lead if bo was not fumiliar with brands. To-day ho may buy with perfect safety if be only makes sure that tho Dutch Hoy Fainter trademark is on the packages of white lead that ho buys. This trade mark was adopted by National Lead Company to distinguish tho pure white lead made by them from tho worthless adulterated and fake goods. It Is a guarantee as valuable to the house-owner as the education of a paint expert could be. Marriage and Meanness. Some years ago there lived In Atch ison a young woman noted for her good works and gentleness. She was always helping' tho jwor and was pa tient and kind nnd universally ad mired. Sho married a fairly good man and abused him within three months. She had been good and patient for years, but a husband was too much for her; she had never been crops to any one until ?dio was cross to her husband. There Is something about marriage that stirs up bidden depths of mennnoss on both tides. Atchison (Kan.) Globe. Early to Bed. The man who makes It the habit of his life to go to bed at nine o'clock usually gets rich and is always reli able Of course going to bed does not make him rich I merely mean that such a man will in all probabil ity be up early In the morning nnd do u big day's work, so his weary I ones put him to bed early. Rogues do their work at night. Honest men work by day. It's all a matter of habit find good habits in America make any man rich. Wealth is a re sult of habit. John Jacob Astor. With a smooth Iron and Defiance Starch, you can launder your shirt waist Just as well at home as the steam laundry can; ft will have the proper stiffness nnd finish', there will bo less wear and tear of tho goods, and It will be a positive pleasure to use a Starch that does not stick to the iron. No Infallible Method. A leading mathematician of France gives another warning that there Is no Infallible method of doubling one's stakes after a loss. "All one can do," sr.ys he, "Is to combine one's play so as to have a great chance of winning a little and a little chance of losing much, and many chances of losing little." Important to Mother. Bzaalnt carefully every botlU Of CASTORIA taf and turt remedy for fafasts cad ehUdrtn, and sea that ft Id I'm For Over .TO Yean. Tfca (tied TftU Nave Alwiyi ttonjthl Hardly Flattered Himself. Family lawyer do young heir) Now, remember, my boy, that a fool and his money are soon parted. Young Heir (Impressively) I In tend, sir. to be the exception that proves tin rule. I-n-is' Siriiil Hinder eipnr. Onpinul in Tin l'oil Smoker 1'nrkiiFC Tukc no aulntitutc. Our Idea of a wise man Is one who never argues with a woman. Mr. Wnlmr'a Soothlnr Sr"p. Ptrrhnilren tft'lhlnir, nftDa th iriim, rcouret tn lkiuinuuui.aili.vs twin, curui vlmlcoilu. Vx a IkjII.o. It Is the after effect of experience that counts. j Thcmpsoii's dye Wafer a; ;1!'r i-i-vM HAIR liALSAM Via'i5t.-Ji2.'nr-i. ti. rim Hi h!T. .T -J -Nv' r r'' '"'" ry I :A-i- ' i llir la en V.iumful Clor. tk" yttt) .'-siwli Cuim wk.n c'li.-..-. l.nlf K'.uk. i iiHM,n:;iyi " ; IHE BEST REMEDY i For Women-Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound Noah, Ky. "I was passing through tlm Change of Life anil suffered from headaches, nervous prostration, and hemorrhages. "I.ydia. K. pink, ham's Vegetable Compound made nie . well and strong, bo that lean do all my housework, and at tend to the store and rost-nilico, and Ifeolmuehyounger than I really am. "Lydia K.Pink. Lam's Vegetable Compound is the most successful remedy for all kinds of female troubles, and I feel that 1 cau never praise It enouglu" MK3. Lizzi k IIollaxo, Noali, Ky. TlirChaugoof Life isthemostcritloal 1 period of a woman'a existence, and neglect of lieulth at thia timo invites disease and pain. Womeneverywheroshouldremembcr , that there isnootherroruody known to medicine that will sosuccessfullycarry women turnugii ttita trying pertoa as I.ydia E. linkliam's Vegetable Com- IHiund, mado from native roots auj icrbs. Tor 30 years it has been curtnpr women from the worst forms of female Ills inflammation, ulceration, dis placements, libroid tumors, irregulari ties, periodic pains, baclacho, anJ nervous prostration. If you would like special advlco ' about your case) write aronllden tlal letter to Mrs. I'inklmm, at Lynn, Mass. Her advico is free, itud always helpful. SICK HEADACHE Positively cured by these Little Pills. Ttipy also rellPTe Pi (roHnfrom I)jppl. In-. llKFtloniiuilTooUcarly Kal Inc. A prrfei't rn ly for Dltzliirna, Nie ea, Tiroir.liipHii, I)mo Tanlr In t he UonUi, Coitt il Tonpue, 1'nln In Ilia ile, warm MVF.K. CARTERS ITTLE IVER PILLS. The; regulate Hie DowcIr. Turcly YrgrUbla SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE, Genuine Must Bear Fac-Simile Signature REFUSE SUBSTITUTES. TOILET ANTISEPTIC NOTHING LIKE IT FOR "Tilt" Tl I Til Putino eirelt ny dntfilrtc I lit I bb I II in clctniint whitening eod -mnoTing tutai from the teeth, bcadet dtiiToyinf ' II nrnu ol decay ind ducue which crduury tooth pfcparatioiM euuot do. TUr ftAIITtl PM'ineBxJueia011 InL IllUUIll WuhflWMUthoDMUlb ad thfoW, purine the trcalh, nd kills the yam wbith coDecl in tho mouth, cawing m ftrot, bed teeth, bed bieaih, grippe, and much ikm. TUP CVrC N'1n eifliiBed. tired, edit I nt bl bO and Lure, may be ieaUnll uttered end atitngthfned by Pattine. ft ITAnnU Put w"l dotrov lie trM WH I rtflllrl tkal caute catarrh, heal the ie Bammalion and atop the discharge, h is a ewe emtdy loroteiine catarrh. Pattine St harmlcw yd powntul Crmitide,diunleaant and deodorizer, ted in bathing it dettroy odon end luvet the body anlietptkalry clean: ton aLi at DRuoeTORce.BOc. OH POSTPAID Bl MAIL. LARGE SAMPLE FREE! THi PAXTON TOILET CO.. BOSTON. MA 8 8. Stop taking liquid pliysrC or bij cr little pills, that which mnkes yoti worse instead of curing. Cathartics don't cure they irritate and weaken tho bowels. CASCAKETS make the bowels stronp;, toue the irur-des so they crawl and workwhen they do this they arc bealthy, producing right results. CASCARHTS inc hoi for a wrfk'e ttrnlniriil. All iltntT'l. HiKgrl c-IlT til lUe wcilU. Milhou boxca u muiitti. This Tratlc-msrl; Elirninalcs All Unifr'ainly in tli'1 j nr' h..se i.f li.:irt !..;! li.ds. It i . i.!r.!' .! t. I p.r. j lty iti.-i .i. ...:ty. prutettii.;!, f-? i it .1 i- :i tl v tif . ry l:;-i'.vS.itc IcaJ Jon ln:y. 15'li Invhr l!i:i.irr. m Ya'b Kolliinu to Lci.rn, Simply !iac Xf) STKOi riNO NO liOMNG W. N. U., OMAHA, NO. 38-101)9. CARTERS jlVER JIPILL8. M mm mm &3 KNOWN Tilt: WOMJ) t'VUR I ft . t i,